i-like-making-things

I said this to @adifferentkindofson the other day but all of this baby stuff makes me think of someone trying so hard to fix something they fucked up a long time ago. Imagine you’re baking a cake and you realize once you’ve already put it into the oven that shit, you’ve forgotten the flour. Instead of just realizing that what’s done is done and you can’t fix it, you take out the “cake” and add flour to the baking mess, hoping against hope that this will help you and that you’ll have the cake you intended to have in the first place. Except of course it doesn’t work because you’ve already missed a crucial step and no amount of flour or anything else can fix what you’ve done. 

That’s what they’re doing with this baby mess. They’re trying so hard to make it look convincing now when they should have put actual effort into it months ago. It’s too late now. It doesn’t matter what they do, we’re not going to forget all of the shadiness of 2015 just because a few more things have been thrown at us. That’s not how any of this works. You either get it right the first time or you fail.

3

Done!

somebody sent me an ask that was like “but rick is pansexual !!!” and im like

believe it or not his sexuality has no actual impact on whether or not hes a shitty abusive person, or whether or not the things he does/says r damaging. like. those things r irrelevant

2

There was just a knock on my door, so I rose, hair stuck up everywhere, pants hanging off my butt, drool crusting on my face. I opened said door and this man had me sign for a red box and it's—I had a small warning something would come, but @mspcritterstuck, this is so amazing I can’t even say thank you enough.

remember when clarke griffin spit in lexa’s face

2

i just want to be every girl’s Valentine!!! I wanna buy flowers and chocolates and shower them w the love & affection they rightfully deserve!!! i love this holiday & i love girls goodnight

10

‘Ezekiel Jones doesn’t do easy

I really hate when you’re engrossed in a book and suddenly the plot takes a weird, nonsensical twist. The kind that makes your imagination come to a screeching halt and go “Wait, what?”.  

…and now the door is closed I can’t find my way into the book’s world. I’m back to methodically reading every word.

I hope my mom feels good about herself trying to make me feel guilty for not working with her today when she told me we were going Sunday and suddenly changed her mind to go today because I “never want to work and want to be with my friends” like ??? and then right after I cancelled my plans to work with her today and she was like no I am going by myself and then still has the nerve to wake me up so early in the morning to ask if I’m going like wtf ??? she keeps texting me and saying I’m playing victim when she obviously fucked up and fucks up all the time but no Ella Es mi madre y siempre tiene la razon por que Es mi madre like no fuck that shit I’m tired

tbh half the time I feel like my favourite parts of wlw relationships are either like, imagined/non-canon and more implied than anything, or else they’re parts of the show that are very brief or rare??

Like I love stuff like cartinelli, swan queen, supercat, … so many ships like this that feel so exciting and magical and cute. That have the potential to be amazing and exciting and sweet and dynamic… but don’t quite exist… or are in between them being in other relationships…

but even in canon relationships, often my favourite parts are brief/imagined? Like when I look back for tara/willow scenes that i loved to rewatch… like unless I want angst, there aren’t many happy scenes. There’s a few scenes in Family. The whole, “You minx.” But most of it is overshadowed by Tara’s nervousness and fear of Willow’s powers and an unhealthy dynamic, or else it’s just pure angst like when Tara has the trauma after Glory gets to her? or else… there’s like 1 few minute scene… literally the only happy, healthy scene they have together, and it’s followed by Tara’s horrible death. (she’s not death tho shhh)

Or like I love Betty/Teresa in Bomb Girls and Patsy/Delia in Call the Midwife I adore them, but while there are bits and pieces of cute scenes, it’s mostly shrouded in pain, fear, sadness, and constant like, considering others and like… Patsy being upset and wanting to have a moment but it has to be in private. People getting in the way. Same with Betty and Teresa, like the guy Betty beat up getting in the way and calling them lewd names…

And I adore Carol. I’m so grateful and happy it exists, but it too is full of sadnesses, of male interruption. It’s a political statement and it highlights how men get in the way, but it’s also very sad. There are some lovely moments, the time together, the touches, the sex scenes… But although we’re given hope, it’s still filled with a lot of hardships and harsh consequences…

And yeah, maybe it’s b/c I love period stuff, idk… I mean I’m trying to think about shows with wlw/implied wlw characters… I can’t keep up with everything but like, with newer things even like, Faking It and Carmilla… I mean of course Faking It is still way more problematic and stuff… and there are some cute moments but it’s mostly drama… I mean… okay but even in Carmilla we aren’t allowed a lot of sweet domesticity… although I do love the dynamic between them in season one, and the whole clueless crush…

And there are some cute modern movies like D.E.B.S., But I’m a Cheerleader, and Saving Face, but you know, again most of them follow wlw conflict b/c of them being wlw… and they’re okay, I do love Saving Face, and it does have some very sweet scene where they’re not rly fighting or anything and it’s not unhealthy. Although a lot of their interactions are overshadowed by Wil’s reluctance until the end…

Oh lol n I was thinking of unhappy/uncomfortable/uhealthy dynamics and then I was like… how could I forget Rose/Luisa… lol… oh and I guess there’s Peggy/Dottie which ppl are trying to play up a bit? And I guess they said technically on ouat that Malificent/Regina was a thing, which it rly seems like n all of those are so unhealthy…

But I don’t know? Just overall I feel like I don’t know? I mean I know straight characters also have conflict and drama. And a lot of writers seem to think that characters alays must either have sexual tension or be in conflict b/c otherwise how ca nn AnyONe?? EnJoy?/!? O:

But like? I still see healthy dynamics I think? Like okay.., ah there’s so much and I don’t watch heaps of stuff that’s modern unless there’s some gays or smth… or it’s like reeaallly good or something? But like… I know shows like Parks and Rec and B99 and still newish kind of ways of writing and they have some great healthy relationships between het couples which are still pretty great to see…

But we still see het couples together being like, on an adventure, or saving the world, going on missions together, doing things together… either as a couple or becoming a couple, and it doesn’t (always) have to be like, one of them is predatory, or it’s forbidden or like, ppl keep getting hurt and it’s really angsty and like… woudln’t it be nice to see more wlw couples happy together just chillin? Just seeing them feeling chill n happy…?

Like I am loving period stuff and I get that it’s hard to have vintage wlw without addressing the discrimination they faced, and that’s how life was, but I’d love to see more wlw together just like… not being in an unhealthy fearful situation, either b/c it’s an innate trait in them, or b/c of their gay which makes them fearful… like? wouldn’t it be Good? I don’t know…


Bea Over Flowers

OKAY UHHH sO there was no new ‘moments’ in bake BUT remember that new guy I mentioned a week ago? So after Friday’s calc class, we walked back to the honors college together and I asked him to eat with me! I managed to get his snapchat and his facebook and he’s such a flowerboy omg compared to Jake, Jeff’s appearance is more soft? and pretty? (wow all these J boys….the holy trinity Jake Joshua Jeffrey LMAOoooauodfha BYE) BUT I will say that Jake is more attractive to me…ANYWAY

So me and Jeff are walking down the hallway to get food and in the distance…was Jake (and Richard god damnit its always you Richard) and YOO JAKE LOOKED SO GOOD IDK WHAT IT WAS BECAUSE HE WAS LITERALLY ONLY WEARING A THIN TSHIRT AND ADIDAS SWEATS but like for the past few weeks Jake wore crew necks and flannels over his shirt SO like his body shape was MORe lIKE VISIBLE I WAS LIKE ….*papi by f(x) begins to play* LMAo ok uh what was I saying…

OH YEAH so I see Jake and Richard coming and lowkey lowkey I sorta…scooted closer to Jeff and I think Jake makes eye contact with me first and he just like..looks at me like staring a bit…and sorta looked at Jeff too but I’m not sure since I was checking him out um anyway… but once we were close enough, Jake waves at me and smiles a lil bit and for the first time he initiates conversation with me even though he just asks me, “hey!~ what time are you going home?” and I say, “Around 7! Are we working on it today? the report?” and IT was probably the sun but HE DID THE WONWOO SIGNATURE NOSE CRINKLE N I LOWKEY DIED and he responds, “Nah, not today, probably sunday night!” 

Sunday night - February 14th 2016

February 14th = Valentine’s Day

V A L E N T I N E ‘ S  D A Y

Even though Richard and Eric will probably be there, at least I get to spend Valentine’s with him~? I’m planning on making shitty valentine’s cards of Jake/Richard/Eric’s weird faces and giving them eggrolls and sweets :) I know Jake “doesn’t do Valentine’s day” but I hope he’ll like my gift…I wonder if he was jealous about Jeff though…

bold any fears which apply to your muse. italicize what makes them uncomfortable.

tagged by: @underoneking

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