i-like-how-pleased-she-is-with-her-joke

YO. HI. I WROTE A BOOK. 

Do you like:

  • LGBT+ characters
  • Biblical style, terrifying angels with millions of eyes
  • YA fiction, packed with twists! and action! and jokes!!
  • Misery.

THEN DO I GOT A BOOK FOR YOU:

ANGEL RADIO: WHEN THE ANGELS COME, THERE IS ONLY ONE SURVIVOR, AND HUNDREDS OF QUESTIONS

Erika doesn’t know why the angels spared her. She’s not sure if she wants to find out.

When she catches the radio signal of a human settlement, she sets out to find the others- and answers

ORDER:

From publisher
Amazon
Barnes + Noble

Don’t forget to add it to your to-read list on Goodreads!

This is through a small, LGBT+ exclusive press- every reblog really counts in spreading the word, and I love and appreciate all of you very much

For Mayor in Splitsville
  • For Mayor in Splitsville
  • La Dispute
  • Rooms of the House
Play

//For Mayor In Splitsville//

Funny what you think of after a collapse
While lying in the dirt the first thing that comes back is never quite what you’d have guessed
And if you could have, you probably would’ve said you’d check if all your limbs were intact still and then try to get out

We played house with the neighbors in their basement
Sister made me husband she was older so I did her bidding
I remember once their dad came in said, “You think this is bad?
You don’t know the half.” And he laughed.

It’s funny what things come back
The first things you see

How he sort of smiled like it’s only a joke but he was lying
There was something else inside of his eyes
All those secrets people tell to little children
Are warnings that they give them
Like, “Look, I’m unhappy. Please don’t make the same mistake as me.”

Why are those old worn out jokes on married life told at toasts at receptions still?
How does it never occur how often couples get burned and end uncertain in Splitsville?

Funny what you think of in the wreckage, lying there in the dirt and the dust and the glass
How you’re suddenly somewhere, in the desert, in the nighttime, and it’s getting close to Christmas
And then her and that movie voice she uses when she reads,
“Welcome to the Land of Enchantment” from a highway sign
And it’s late so you take the next exit

When that trip ended we came back the rent was due I was jobless
I guess in retrospect I should’ve sensed decay
Then that day, how you said, “I just don’t know” and I promised
We’d rearrange things to fix the mess I’d made here

But I guess in the end we just moved furniture around 3X

But I guess in the end it sort of feels like every day it’s harder to stay happy where you are
There are all these ways to look through the fence into your neighbor’s yard
Why even risk it? It’s safer to stay distant
When it’s so hard now to just be content
Because there’s always something else

Now I’m proposing my own toast, composing my own joke for those married men
Maybe I’m miserable, I’d rather run for mayor in Splitsville than suffer your jokes again

BUT LIKE CAN WE PLEASE TALK ABOUT HOW HE HESITATES WHEN SHE POINTS OUT THEYRE DANCING TOGETHER? he literally stutters……as if she makes him flustered/nervous…..as if he’s slowly realizing the attraction that just lies between them under all the joking and teasing? LIKE FOR THE FIRST TIME LUCAS HAS NOTHING TO SAY BACK TO MAYA CONFIDENTLY AND SNIDELY…….he has lost his cool out of mixed emotions involving riley and HER……..and he is finally realizing that now…….I’m dead

I feel like Michael is such a mummy’s boy that if she didn’t take to you warmly when you first ‘met the parents’ then it would be a deal breaker. He would notice that when you arrived, his mum seemed cautious and reserved and it broke his heart to see how hard you were trying to please her because deep down you knew that if you didn’t, there would be no long term anything with Michael. You had tried to crack a nervous joke or two, and were overly polite, making sure your hands were kept to yourself and your casual dress was an appropriate length but there was no indication of acceptance into their family. Eventually, after the cooked dinner and a few awkward conversations, you and Michael would head out to the car where you would start sobbing into his shoulder because obviously his mum doesn’t think much of you and he’s the best thing to ever happen to you so it can’t just be over and he’s never gone back on his wordyet he kisses you on your head and holds you, apologising over and over, both of you unaware that you can be seen from his house, and when you arrive to your shared apartment, a voicemail has been left from the Clifford Household inviting you out for dinner again next week, a trace of regret being heard in his mother’s tone. 

A man who'd just died is delivered to a local mortuary

… and he’s wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.

The mortician asks the deceased’s wife how she would like the body dressed, pointing out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.

The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the mortician a blank check and says, ‘I don’t care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.’

The woman returns the next day and to her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly.

She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I’m very satisfied.. You did an excellent job and I’m very grateful. How much did you spend?’

To her astonishment, the mortician presents her with the blank check, 'There’s no charge.’

'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit,’ she says.

'Honestly, ma'am,’ the mortician says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband’s size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.’

'So I just switched the heads.’

A member of NCT Dream comments about how pretty he thinks his girlfriend is and he gets jealous (NCT 127)

Taeil: -he found it overly cute that Renjun commented on how pretty you are right to him but made sure he knew he could never have you- “I agree completely but she’s too old for you little one”

Originally posted by smboys

Taeyong: -he tried to joke with it Jisung, you were in love with how precious they all were and you would hug them and he expected Jisung’s liking of you- “don’t tell her that she just might leave me and I’ll have to beat you up”

Originally posted by taeillls

Yuta: -Haechan said you were cute and his mind wasn’t okay with it. He didn’t mind most of the time when you got comments because they were friendly but this time it seemed like more- “don’t make googly eyes at my girlfriend please”

Originally posted by y-ta

WinWin: -Chenle was like in love with you because of how nice you were to him. He called you cute after you called him cute. WinWin wasn’t too jealous with it  though- “I think you both are cute but Y/N is mine and too old for you”

Originally posted by winkun

Jaehyun: -hearing Chanle say it the first time he was overly jealous but he realized you were at least a few years older and with him. Now when he heard Chenle say it was pretty funny- “I’m sorry but she’s a bit old for you and well mine”

Originally posted by zeusmayo

Mark: -he found it cute because if Jaemin didn’t do it he would have. Most of the boys did it as a pick me up even if you didn’t need it. But he wanted it to mean more when he said it than their’s- “I mean yes she is pretty. Everything about Y/N is pretty though”

Originally posted by monoka

Haechan: -he joked about it with Mark who often said you were pretty, he wasn’t being rude or trying to make a move. Haechan was growing used to it and would make jokes with Mark about it- “I know she’s pretty but come on she’s claimed. Should have gotten there sooner”

Originally posted by nctech

the diabros as trash my friends said to me

Shu: “No. We just don’t ‘fall down’ at the end of our freestyle. It is called ‘controlled tumbling’.”

Reiji: “I’m not a fuckin cockblocker!!! He calls me master of cockblock but I’m not!!!”

Laito: “HAHA, THAT’S RIGHT, WE CAN MAKE INAPPROPRIATE JOKES, BITCH!! *high fives me* JUST VIRGIN THINGS!!”

Kanato: “I have no soul. That’s why I’m friends with her. She’s my soul now.”

Ayato: “what do u mean he’s a ‘chicken breast?? do u mean he’s got man boobs???”

Subaru: *talking about typical scene kids names* “Luna Lunatic? Pfff. Bitch please, call me Maya Mystique from now on.”

Ruki: “Your aggressive behaviour is just a mere cry of your need for soup.” 

Kou: *to me* “Like?? How many personalities do you have?? Svetlana, Consuela?? Satan??? Oh right and your normal self.”

Yuma: “We need to sue this stupid farmer. His corn isn’t as good as it used to be.”

Azusa:  “It’s like..Benjamin Button..just the other way around..” so u mean normal

Carla: “You know what? Maybe I’m just too clever to understand your sarcasm!!!” 

Shin: “I can’t eat the peanuts. I know I’m allergic. But I can still smell them *smells the peanuts* *whispers* ahhhh they smell so good.”

Just imagine Dan and Phil looking at you at the park like this even though you’re far away and they said:

Dan: Phil, Phil. She’s there. (Y/N). I… want to talk to her… but I don’t know how…

Phil: if you want to talk to her, do it already… or I’ll take the steal… let’s face it. She’s the most perfect girl ever.

Dan: she’s so fucking beautiful. Look at her, she’s reading Percy Jackson and laughing at the author’s jokes. Listen to that laugh… just… perfect.

Phil: it is… Darn it (Y/N). Please don’t make me fall… in love…

Dan: …

Then, you’re boyfriend arrives, because he’s picking you up for a date
:—(

Dan: so… (Y/N) has a boyfriend…

-he says as you’re boyfriend kisses you’re forehead-

Phil: wait a minute… isn’t that boy… PEEJ?! (kickthepj)

Dan: oh shit you’re right…

while you and Peej, you’re boyfriend, walks you to his car, he sneakily looks at Dan and Phil and sticked his tongue out, and after that, he mouthed: “Sorry bros.” And then he smiled and the two of you happily went off to your date. Dan and Phil were pissed AF. The end.

You’re lucky asf bc Dan, Phil, and Peej likes you (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) dayum girl you must be freaking hot

Consider the Following - “Keystone Motel”

WARNING!
THIS IS A SPOILER FOR THE NEW STEVEN UNIVERSE EPISODE “KEYSTONE MOTEL”!
Special thanks to a friend of mine, Kerriadango over at http://kerriadango.tumblr.com/
She actually sparks a lot of the conversations that lead to my writing on Steven Universe and other nerdly things and I would like to thank her for that! :D
———————–
———————–
———————–
———————–
SPOILERS! You were warned!
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Alright, so lets get back to digging in these Gem’s heads and see how they think. Please take time to consider the following.

Firstly, lets take a look at Pearl. She’s dealing with some serious issues at this point and while the Salt and Thirst jokes are great, they sometimes make us miss the real problem. Something is extremely wrong with Pearl, like mental instability level wrong.

She has many problems with social issues, general anxiety, and depression which seems to be getting worse (as reflected in her relationship between her and Amethyst in the flashbacks compared to now) when added to the post traumatic stress damage from losing Rose, which she may in some part blame herself for.

As these cracks start to show in Pearl, unneeded pressure is starting to build from Garnet being angry with her (rightly so) and maybe the self realization that she can’t trust HERSELF to do the right thing anymore. This might be Pearl beginning to roll down a steepening slope into MADNESS.

Now she’s chasing Peridot without rest, like some goal to focus on in the hopes it would make what she’s done wrong, right again. As well as using it as another distraction to focus on.

“Pearl! Where have you been?
Looking for Peridot… for a few days straight.”

She seems to torment herself with her failings, trying to find a solution at the cost of her own self worth with every mistake. And she has made some HUGE mistakes. Pearl’s actions and Amethyst’s words probably cut Garnet deeply…

“We’re so much WEAKER than you, fusing with you is like one chance to feel… STRONGER

Sound familiar? No?

“Fusion is just a cheap tactic to make WEAK gems STRONGER!”

How about now?

Now all of this being said, Pearl is not exempt from her actions, regardless of the state she’s in. I preached this same philosophy with Lapis not being a pure snowflake-cinnabon-whatever… I don’t care how afraid, or angry, or skewed your vision of right and wrong is. She made a super horrible mistake, as far as we know that signal wouldn’t have been found by homeworld without those extra days YOU JUST PROVIDED IT to be found.

She needs to work on herself and make sure it never happens again. Pearl has done this, promised to make it all better, learned from her failings and moved on.

Garnet walked on and said those two words. “I’m sorry” which seemed to take Garnet by surprise actually stopping her dead in her tracks.

This could be a tell, either that Pearl is beginning to recover, or that the cracks are getting so bad they’re affecting the way she normally acts. Either way this will be coming to a head for her and SOON.


EDIT:

I have been corrected here by  

slovak-folk-costumes

(Thank you kind sir/madam)

I was incorrect in saying that she had “…NEVER ONCE before directly apologized to anyone for her brash and harmful actions".

In ‘On The Run’ Pearl apologized to Amethyst, even adding “I hope you can forgive me”. And in 'Space Race’ she says to Steven “I’m so sorry, I almost got us killed!”

My mistake. I think I’d just forgotten about those and posted this before fact checking myself (it was late for me). Though I do still stand by that this could have still been a tell for Pearl, if not her confiding in Amethyst at the end of the episode. As well as the apology setting off the fight with Sapphire and Ruby.

~Now back to a regularly scheduled programming!~



Now onto Garnet.

It may be a theory, but I feel it was this out of nowhere comment from Pearl that may have been what kicked this fight between Ruby and Sapphire into high gear.

Sapphire recognized that this might be Pearl FINALLY trying to be a better friend and say sorry, but Ruby wouldn’t let it go that easily. She didn’t seem the type to let Pearl give them two words and everything would be hunky dory.

And how nice it was learning about Ruby and Sapphire… Firstly, the confirmed theories, Sapphire is a cyclops (her weakness is definitely depth perception) and has the future vision. Ruby having the temper.., and what a temper indeed! Like a furious volcano burning like the sun.

While Sapphire quietly feels, concealing her pain while lost in the future and losing hold on the present.


And Steven… poor Steven caught in the middle…

All he wanted to was to help them feel better.

He’s was confused and afraid. He’s afraid that this might drive Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl apart for a long time. A great divide in his family…

…afraid of what he might have done to cause it and afraid that he would never be able to fix it. Like his mother he feels everything they feel and like another of his moms, Pearl…

He blames himself…

And because of that we finally see Sapphire and Ruby express their flaws and come to terms with one another.

“I keep looking into the future when all of this has already been solved as if it doesn’t matter how you feel in the present. No wonder you think I don’t care.”

“I didn’t want to look for a solution, I just wanted to be mad!”

And this is why their thinking as a whole makes them better TOGETHER. They cover each other’s weaknesses and improve each other’s strengths. They have rough edges but are perfect for one another in every way… and make amazingly dorky nicknames for one another like…

(つ°ヮ°)つ☆ Amazing!

And just as a quick side note, Greg was an AMAZING mediator in this episode. “Son, there will come a time in your life when you learn to accept all pizza.” was an underrated quote I will probably use forever.

Pretty Freaking Hot - Scott Halloween Party Imagine

Request; OOH HALLOWEEN!! Would you mind writing a smut with Scott please?! Maybe her costume is quite sexy and low cut and stuff or something please? And she keeps it secret from everyone but the girls and all the boys think she’s quite vanilla and she shows up with the girls looking like hot af and the boys are like damn and quite pleasantly surprised&scott is surprised but protective of her with the guys reactions and she teases him all night and teasing smut with him later please?

Warning; smut.

Wow, idk how to feel about this, this is literally 2174 words. Knock yourselves out (but not really, stay safe)

Originally posted by all-about-that-fandoms


-

“You guys better be going all out for the costumes,” Lydia told you all as you helped her decorate the house with the pack. You just placed a pumpkin onto the table before putting a bowl into it. This was such a great idea.

“Can I come dressed as a pumpkin?” you asked, joking. You and the girls had made most of the decorations and had taken some from sites like easy or pinterest and others, which was why the decorations were creative, wacky, but amazing, which the boys told you a number of times now.

“No! You’re coming dressed as something you love, which is supernatural. We’ve talked about this, it’s the theme the pack is doing,” Stiles told you, adamant at making you follow along with it.

“I know,” you chuckled.

“What are you coming dressed as?” Isaac asked.

“I don’t know. I have a witch costume,” you shrugged, knowing that he would be quite surprised once you turned up with the girls.

“Well then you do know,” Stiles pointed out.

“Shut up, smart-arse,” you chuckled, opening the LED ice cubes and putting them into as smaller bowl that was beside the other which was now filled with punch. The word ‘treat’ was carved into the pumpkin and as the LED lights would go into the punch they’d light up and illuminate the word. “Lydia, you’ve got the ice, right?” you asked as she nodded and got down from the ladder that she was hanging up paper bats from.

Your had brought your costume to Lydia’s, so while the boys left to go home and change to come back for the party, you and the girls went upstairs to change. As you walked into the room in your dress, all four of them looked up and let out small laughs.

“Where have you been hiding?” Lydia asked, walking to you and making you twirl around for them. You were wearing a tulle dress that reached a couple inches above your knees, the corset top totally black, while the skirt faded from black to purple and green. The top was lacy, and revealed quite a bit of your chest, but it was quite reserved, not one of those ‘sexy witch’ costumes. It was actually a goth prom dress, but with some modifications, you made it work, and it still looked quite sexy, which the girls told you a couple of times.

“Put the hat on, put the hat on,” Kira handed you the pointed hat which you put on and modelled it for them with a laugh.

“You look so good,” Allison grinned.

“I’m not sure Scott will keep his hands off you tonight,” Malia said with a small smile as you chuckled.

“That’s the aim,” you said mischievously.

After Lydia did your make up, you helped the others with theirs and their costumes before you were all done. You all walked down the stairs, yourself last since you had to slip your black heels on, but you got there in time for the party to be in full swing, looking around to find Scott standing with the other boys of the pack, laughing about something, holding a cup of drink. You took fast steps to him and bumped into him lightly with grin as he glanced down at you with a grin, the others doing the same before their jaws collectively dropped at the same time.

“Wow,” Isaac let it slip past his lips.

“You guys look good,” you smiled, seeing them in werewolf gear while Stiles dressed as a vampire, being the only thing you haven’t met yet. “Stiles, are you serious?” you let out a small giggle, linking your arm with Scott’s, the other pressing against his torso in a slightly protective but otherwise teasing way.

“Hey! I thought it’d be ironic,” he shrugged with a smile. “You look-“ he took a shallow breath and cleared his throat before pressing his lips together and nodding, “You look good,” he told you.

“Thanks. Of course you all look the part, but I don’t think I have to tell you that,” you said, looking at the boys before Allison walked to you with Kira and Malia.

“Are you guys serious? Werewolves? You couldn’t have gotten any less creative than that,” she told them all.

“Derek’s a mummy,” Stiles cut in, pointing to the guy who just walked in, bandages wrapped around his white v-neck shirt and his jeans and head. He did not look happy at all to be in that position. Once he spotted you, he walked over and narrowed his eyes as Isaac.

“Lahey.”

“Derek,” the beta smiled at him. “You look scary.”

“I was going for that,” he said in an even tone, making you chuckle.

“You do know what you’re doing to me, right?” Scott whispered in your ear as you just smirked lightly and look up at him.

“Full and well,” you nodded, tapping his stomach - which was quite hard - and then smiled to yourself as you went back to the others’ conversation.

“I hope you’re not planning on standing around all night,” Lydia arrived from handing drinks out.

“Come on, Y/n,” Scott gave Stiles his drink and pulled you to the dance floor as you just chuckled and followed, loosening up and dancing like never before. You had your hands holding onto the back of his neck as you moved, your eyes locking with his as his flashed red and stayed like it, smirking as you moved your hips before you turned and soon enough, your butt was rubbing against his crotch, his arms pulling you into him, crossed over your body, in almost like a hug.

“Could you try to not make this difficult for me?” he asked you.

“Nope!” you laughed before stepping away from him and allowing him to twirl you around.

After a bit more dancing, you were standing with the others again as Scott had an arm around your shoulders and you had one arm around his waist, a cup of punch in your other hand.

“Seriously, I thought you were totally vanilla!” Isaac told you for about the third time now. The boys only just expressed that they didn’t expect you to look so sexy tonight, which Scott only laughed off, knowing you were his and he was yours. Though he was too jealous and protective inside, he tried to hide it.

“Oh, she’s not,” Scott told him, looking down at you as he took the cup from you and took a long drink while you just smiled.

“Don’t judge a book by its cover,” you shrugged as Scott pulled you further into his side, holding the punch in his hand.

“You’re smoking,” Ethan told you as he stood with Danny.

“Thanks,” you smiled.

“If you don’t want to date McCall, do you want to date me?” Jackson asked as Lydia hit his chest, making everyone else laugh, but Scott let out a light growl as Derek chuckled at the two of you.

“I don’t think you should continue with that, last I checked the only alpha around is Scott,” he said, lifting his own drink, but his was fully alcoholic, and he was now rid of his ‘costume’.

“Yeah, I’m not sure if you’ve heard it but plenty of growls and snarls have left the guy,” Malia butted in as you just smiled and pulled him into your side as he pressed his lips to your head.

“Okay, we’re gonna go,” you told them as they groaned and let out small complaints. “Come on, give me a break!” you chuckled.

“One last dance!” Kira told you and grabbed your hand, dragging you to the dance floor. So the pack danced together before you were left with Scott, dancing like before, facing him.

“You want to leave?” you asked him.

“Hell yes,” he breathed before kissing you lightly, making you smirk.

“I knew it,” you said before dragging him upstairs where Lydia had told you that there was one guest bedroom where you’d be sleeping for the night, since your parents were out so you would have stayed there anyway.

Pushing the door open, Scott already had his hands on you, pushing you against the closed door, locking it as his lips landed on yours, your mouth immediately opening to let him in and explore as he wished, his hands tracing your curves and bumps as you heard him breathe through his nose. You reached up to push his headband of wolf ears down and you took your hat off, throwing it on the ground before you kicked off your shoes, Scott having to dip his head to reach you.

“God you’re so perfect,” he whispered, lifting you up against the door as you wound your legs around him, your skirt not even in the way.

“I was about to say the same thing,” you whispered, both of your eyes closed as you whispered against his lips. He let out a breathy laugh before one of his hands pushed the skirt up and his hand settled at your hip, a finger reaching under the waistband of your underwear while his lips placed themselves on your again.

Your hands pushed themselves into his gelled hair as you pulled him firmer into you, your midsections pressing against each other, making him groan lightly as you let out a soft whimper, letting it roll into his system.

Somehow, you had reached your hands down between you and had opened his button and zipper before reaching into his pocket and feeling a condom wrapper.

“Came prepared?” you asked breathlessly as he just smirked, kissing you again and not replying, making you let out a moan as his hand trailed your inner thigh and you felt one claw lightly scratching your delicate skin. “Rip it,” you whispered before biting his lower lip and you felt him hesitate.

“Really?”

“Just do it, I have another one for tomorrow,” you told him leaning your head back and opening your eyes, seeing his eyes red, and feeling his member bulging from under his briefs. In a couple of seconds’ worth of hesitation, you felt his claws rip through your underwear before they fell to the ground and you smiled slightly, looking at him as he smirked and a finger had trailed up your slit, rubbing at your clit while you had dipped your hand into his briefs, pumping him a few times before rolling the condom onto him. His lips were at your neck, making your eyes flutter shut as the soft, tender pecks at your sweet spot combined with the pleasure his hands were granting you sent you barrelling towards the edge.

“Ready?” he asked, his hand leaving your core, the other holding you up.

“Yeah,” you nodded before he lightly nudged your head with his nose before he took a deep breath in and then started to suck a hickey on your neck. He pulled his lips away for just a second to suck his finger before he reached down to line himself up and then pushed in, making you gasp, arching your back against him, your head hitting the door as your eyes scrunched up while he started to move, his other hand cupping your cheek as he left featherlight kisses on your jaw and neck while you let out light moans and whimpers.

It didn’t take long for the warmth to pool in your stomach before you had become louder, saying his name which mixed with his grunts and groans. Pretty soon he was a moaning mess too, one of your hands reaching down to massage your clit, the other over his shoulder, gripping and clawing at his back. It sent the two of you further towards your high points before you let your head fall onto his shoulder and you let out a loud moan, practically screaming his name as you came. He followed your lead, huffing as he released into the condom before he pulled out and kissed your cheek softly.

“Thank you,” he whispered, rolling the condom off and throwing it into the bin before he adjusted himself and buttoned his jeans up, keeping you still pushed to the door.

“Holy fuck,” you whispered, exhausted, but giddy at the same time. “I love you,” you told him, your hand caressing his face as you pulled your head back. “I’m pretty sure they all know Im yours now,” you grinned at him through your exhaustion.

“Oh yeah, definitely.”

This Is It

(This is a Dramione fic for @severus-snape-is-a-butt-trumpet‘s February challenge. Please let me know how you guys like it! I’ve never finished a Harry Potter fanfic before, so any feedback is welcome and greatly appreciated.)

_______________________________________________________________________


Their eyes meet across the platform.

The grey smoke and fog weaves a moment around their heads.

If they were bolder, either of them, they would run and clasp hands.

And say I’ve missed you, where’d you go?

But they don’t.

Maybe it’s just too late for us, she thinks.

She takes her husband’s hand and forces a laugh when he cracks a joke.

Maybe we were never meant to happen, he muses.

His son looks up at him anxiously, and he kneels to reassure him.


But—

They catch eyes again.

But—

Memories lurk in the shadows of their eyes.

But—


The door opens.

“Have you seen a toad? A boy called Neville’s lost one.”

“Who would bring a toad to Hogwarts? How pathetic.”

“Don’t be rude. If you see it, we’re in the compartment closest to the driver.”

The door closes. His eyes follow her curiously.


The Hat is placed on her head.

“Granger, Hermione!”

“GRYFFINDOR!”

In the cheers, no one hears his disappointment.

“Malfoy, Draco!”

“SLYTHERIN!”

The Hat didn’t even a pause to deliberate.

The Hat is taken off his head.

No one hears her deliberation.

He pulls a smirk and saunters to his table.

She looks at him curiously.


Madame Hooch blows her whistle, and the game begins.

“You should join the team, Longbottom. If brains were money, you’d be poorer than Weasley, and that’s saying something.”

She doesn’t turn. She must have heard him.

Did she hear him?

After he fights with Weasley, she looks at him with pity.

He doesn’t want her pity.

Madam Hooch blows her whistle, and the game ends.


Wonderful Harry Potter and his perfect friends.

That’s all he thinks over the summer break.

He picks up a quill seven times and poises it over the parchment to write,

Dear Hermione

But he scratches it out every time.


She works on her potions homework diligently over the break.

Maybe this year, they won’t insult each other.

Maybe they could be friends.

Forget what Harry and Ron would say.

Maybe they could all be friends.


They see each other in Diagon Alley, and she almost says hello.

The words almost come out of her mouth before she sees his father.

His father sneers at her.

He winces and mouths, sorry.

She nods to him.

They see each other in Diagon Alley, and he almost says goodbye.


They see each other at the platform, and he almost asks her to sit with him.

They catch eyes, and he raises his hand to say hello.

She mirrors his motion.

She’s smiling. His heart beats harder.

She looks away for a moment as Lavender and Parvati call her name.

He watches them walk away from him.


He charms his way into the hospital wing when he hears.

Madame Pomfrey almost doesn’t let him in, but he smiles angelically.

His eyes tear. Madame Pomfrey lets him in.

She’s frozen like a statue and he cries for real.

What if this was it?

He’d never be able to tell her he admires her.

What if this was it?


The dementors come into their compartment and she’s chilled to her soul.

Harry collapses on the floor.

Fred and George say Draco ran into their compartment.

She wants to ask how he is.

Harry shakily gets to his seat.

The words are on her lips.

Ron looks savage at Draco’s name.

The words die unsaid.


He hopes she knows it wasn’t his fault Buckbeak is on trial.

It was mentioned to his father, of course.

My father will hear about this.

But he never tells him.

She’s helping Hagrid on his defense and he’s leaving her books on her table in the library.

She sees him leave a book once.

He freezes.

She nods to him. Thank you.

He thinks she knows it wasn’t his fault.


But when he says that about Hagrid—

When he say that—

She hits him across the face.

A solid punch. Like her mother taught her. Thumb outside the fist.


“Granger! What the bloody—”

“I’m not going to apologize for it Malfoy!”

Granger.

Malfoy.

“You blacked my eye!”

“You insulted Hagrid!”

“And I’m sorry, okay, what else could I have said with—”

“With Crabbe and Goyle there? You could have said anything else!”

“You don’t understand—”

“What’s there to misunderstand? Draco Malfoy, you can’t blame them for your behavior!”

“Hermione—”

Draco.

Hermione.

“Let go of my hand, Draco Malfoy, before I hex you.”


Defense Against the Dark Arts and he’s nauseous.

He’s heard everything from his father, of course.

Two words, and everything’s beyond repair.

And how many times his father has said them, too.

Defense Against the Dark Arts, and she’s pale when she says the words.

He can’t say anything to her.


She’d idly thought he’d say something to her when they announce the Yule Ball.

Maybe. Just think of what everyone would say.

Maybe. Maybe they’d all be friends.

But this time, she doesn’t believe it.

Part of her is relieved when Viktor asks.


And when she says no, it shatters him.

He can tell she’s sad about saying it, but he’s good at reading people’s lies.

There’s a glimmer in her eye still.

And he knows she would have said no anyway, even without Viktor.

But maybe she would have wanted to say yes.


She refuses to look at him when she and Viktor open the dance.

He cannot look away.


“One dance.”

“I can’t, someone will see.”

“Yes, you see, they’ll use their eyes. But they aren’t here.”

She knows who they are.

“Someone will tell Harry and Ron. You know they will.”

“Then you can say they’re lying. C’mon Hermione…”

Pause.

“Only if we go outside.”

“Really?”

Laughter.

“Yes, really. C’mon, Draco…”

“One dance.”

She tugs on his hands. Their fingers twine into a lovers’ knot.

“Only one?”


Cedric Diggory’s name is everywhere, after.

They don’t say anything to each other.

She stays in the hospital wing with Potter.

He stays away.

She thinks about him sometimes.

He thinks about her always.

Cedric Diggory’s name is everywhere, after.


She holds her quill deliberately.

Dear Draco

How are you? I’m worried about you.

And she crumples it.


He listens to his father’s rants over the summer.

Dumbledore rants at her over the summer.

You cannot tell anyone about what this family is doing, Draco.

You mustn’t tell Harry, Miss Granger. Harry mustn’t know.

The meetings are in secret. Everyone wears black.

The meetings are in Sirius’ family home. Everyone wears Muggle clothing.

He’s smothered by their expectations.

She’s frustrated by their exclusion.

There’s going to be a war.


He starts twenty letters to her in his head.

Dear Hermione

My dearest Hermione

My dearest, Hermione

One is a love letter. This one he writes down.

He writes out the words I love you, I always have.

Then he burns the parchment.


Dumbledore’s Army meets in the Room of Requirement.

She almost invites him.

Ron would have fought him.

Harry would have helped.

She doesn’t know what she would do.

She doesn’t invite him.


The Inquisitorial Squad meets in Umbridge’s office.

It’s too pink and smells like cats.

He’s allergic.

He knows—he’s positive she, Potter, and Weasley are doing something subversive.

He wonders if he could shield them as a member of the Inquisitorial Squad.

He wonders, if he had the chance, would he?


“Hermione, I’m sorry—”

“Well, that’s a relief, then, isn’t it? That you’re sorry?”

“I am, I swear—”

“You can’t keep apologizing and expecting me to forgive you, this isn’t how friendship works—”

“I didn’t mean—”

“—to call me Mudblood? You said it directly to my face, Malfoy.”

“Granger, listen—”

Malfoy.

Granger.

“Why do you always call me ‘Granger’ when we argue?”

“Why do you always call me ‘Malfoy’ when we argue?”

“Do I?”

“Yes.”

“Hmm.”

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Hermione. I don’t know how I’ll ever make it up to you—”

“I don’t know that you can, Draco.”

“What?”

“Don’t you think we aren’t meant to be friends?”

“Hermione—”

“No, listen. We’re on two opposing sides. We shouldn’t even be talking.”

“Hermione, this is an assigned patrol.”

“Yes, but there’s a difference between patrolling because we have to and patrolling because we like talking to each other.”

Pause.

He takes her hands.

“You like talking to me?”

“Sometimes.”

“Only sometimes?”

“Well, sometimes you insult my heritage and I have to jinx you.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know.”

Pause.

“Draco?”

“Yes?”

“You can let go of my hands now.”

Their fingers fit together perfectly.

“I could, yes.”


His father sends a letter in cypher after dinnertime.

Take care, Draco

It says.

Stay out of trouble

The usual messages, but the writing is shaky.

I cannot say more now, but the plans are in motion

Hadn’t Potter gotten in trouble today for trying to contact someone?

Potter will be caught in a trap

He racks his memory.

Him, and whatever friends he’s bringing

Potter wasn’t at dinner.

He knows there was a scuffle after Potter was caught—he was in it, after all—but.

Madame Pomfrey fixed the Inquisitorial Squad with a flick of her wrist.

He’d thought they’d been taken to Umbridge’s office again.

Hermione wasn’t at dinner.

He jumps to his feet and runs as fast as he can for Umbridge’s fireplace.


She makes it out.

Most of them do.

But they aren’t the same.

She never thought it was a game, but it felt like one.

When they were protected in the castle and the biggest danger was Umbridge catching them.

When they had beds to fall into after lessons.

(When Sirius was alive.)

She makes it out.

But she’s different now.


His father goes to jail and now he understands the letter.

He keeps his head down.

He doesn’t say anything to her.

He starts thirty letters to her in his head.

I’m so sorry

I tried to tell you

My dearest, Hermione

He doesn’t send any to her.


When he gets it, it burns.

That’s the only sensation he understands for a long moment, the burning.

It stings and pulsates unpleasantly when the Dark Lord touches it.

He wants to cut off his arm.

And when the Dark Lord whispers his task in his ear, he masks his unease underneath arrogance.

He has a plan.


She stays with the Weasleys over the vacation.

It’s quieter, more subdued than usual, even with Fleur’s announcement about her and Bill’s engagement.

She degnomes the garden with Ron, who lets his hand linger just a second longer than needed as he hands her gloves.

She finds she doesn’t mind much.

She doesn’t think about Draco.


They see each other on the platform, and she doesn’t almost say hi.

She does study him, though.

He’s thinner, his face drawn. He looks like an empty house.

She wants to hug him.

She doesn’t.

He wants her to.

He’s standing with his mother in a dark suit and he feels like an empty Quidditch pitch.

He studies her, too.

She’s standing smaller, somehow. Not hunched, just more compacted.

Like the pressure has finally settled on her shoulders.

And as much as he’d like to carry some of her burden…

They see each other on the platform, and he doesn’t almost say goodbye.


He almost kills Katie Bell.

He almost kills Ron Weasley.

And he wonders if he’ll almost kill her too.

And he wonders if she knows how much he needs her light right now.

And he wonders how much she hates him.


She runs to the hospital wing when she hears.

She doesn’t have to charm her way in.

What if this was it?

What if this was it?


“Draco? Is that you?”

“Granger?”

“Are you…are you okay?”

“How’d you find me?”

“Moaning Myrtle found me, said she’d heard someone crying in the Prefects’ bathroom.”

“And you decided you had to look.”

“I wanted to make sure whomever it was was okay.”

“Do I look okay to you?”

Pause.

She studies him.

“No…what’s wrong, Draco?”

A hysterical laugh.

“I can’t tell you.”

“Draco. Please.”

“Hermione. I can’t. I can’t I can’t I can’t—”

“I could help you—”

“Everyone wants to help me! Snape, you, my aunt, everyone! Let me ask you, Granger, who’s helping you? What’s anyone doing to help you?”

Pause.

“Hermione, why don’t you hate me?”

He asks the last question in a whisper.

“I’ve tried. I don’t know why.”

She takes his hands.

“I’ve been awful to you.”

“Not entirely true. Mostly, but not all true.”

“Thanks.”

She smiles sadly.

“Is this…Draco…?”

She slowly pushes up the sleeve of his left arm.

He doesn’t stop her.

He hangs his head.

She traces the Mark.

“Draco…”

And then she kisses him, slowly, sweetly.

Her hand stays on his left forearm.

He closes his eyes.

She tastes like a benediction.

And then she’s gone.


Why couldn’t it have been Pansy?

This is his only thought.

It would have been so much easier.


She lets herself linger on the kiss for a few moments after she leaves.

Then she files it away.


There’s a battle.

They’re fighting all up and down the Astronomy Tower, and nothing makes sense.

They’re in the middle of the war.

They see each other on opposite sides, and she doesn’t curse him.

He’d be lying if he said he didn’t want her to.

He’s at the top of the tower now.

Dumbledore is disarmed.

And Dumbledore falls. And he himself falls closer toward the end, and he can’t stop.

She dodges curses that rain down on all sides.

He comes down the staircase.

They see each other on opposite sides.

And there are no words to say.


They both stare at blank parchment for a long time before sliding it wordlessly into a drawer.

He’s thought about her.

She’s thought about him.

And neither wanted to.


He finds out about the Death Eater attack on the Ministry and at the Weasley wedding when they do.

He can’t say anything when his father tells him.

There aren’t any words on his lips.

And his owl is too old to carry letters.


She finds out about Severus Snape becoming headmaster through the Prophet.

He’s known for weeks.


September rolls around, and he’s back at Hogwarts.

She isn’t.

He misses her.

She tries to forget about him.


Winter rolls around, and she’s at Malfoy Manor.

So is he.

They see each other on opposite sides, and he does his best.

He doesn’t recognize Harry Potter.

He does, but he’s a good liar.

Even to his parents.

But she’s harder to cover.

And her screams are hard to ignore.

He eases his wand into his hand and just before he can aim at his aunt—


She looks up, and there’s Ron.

Ron, storming up the stairs, Ron yelling her name.

And she doesn’t need a knight, but damn if she doesn’t love him then.

She looks at Draco, frozen in the act of cursing Bellatrix.

And damn if she doesn’t—


Dobby disappears with all four of them.

All four of them, and a silver knife.

All four of them, a silver knife, and the echo of his gasp when he realizes what may have just happened.

His aunt smiles darkly.

He screams at her.


She hears what Harry tells her about the Hallows and the Horcruxes, and she’s proud.

Proud that Harry’s fighting to stop Voldemort instead of fighting to keep the Hallows.

The three of them come together and create a plan.

She wonders what he’s doing.

She looks at Ron.

And immediately she makes herself forget him.


There’s going to be a war

He writes to her.

This is the war

She replies.

No. This is the beginning of the end

Draco

Hermione

We are the war

Yes, and?

Strip the leader of his war and what does he have left?


And so.

They sneak into the Hog’s Head and sneak along the secret passageway.

Harry tells his plan, his needs.

She stays behind with Ron and his family.

Ron whispers, “The Chamber”.


And so.

They march up the lawn in the dark and march into the school.

The Dark Lord tells his plans, his needs.

Harry Potter is mine, the Dark Lord says.

He nods and shields his mind.

His mother whispers, “Find her”.


“Hermione! HERMIONE!”

“Draco?!”

She keeps a cautious grip on her wand.

“Listen to me—the giants are coming—be careful—duck!”

He pulls her to the ground.

The window explodes above them.

Their faces are inches apart.

“What are you doing here?”

“Same as you, Granger. Fighting a war.”

“Draco…”

She sobs.

“Shh, shh. Don’t cry.”

She wipes her face on his shirt.

“I’m sorry about the…”

“Don’t worry, love. It’s fine.”

“Love? Oh—hold on—”

She spells a tumble of bricks headed for them to fall instead on a group of acromantulas.

“You called me ‘love’.”

He hesitates.

“Yes. I did.”

“Draco…”

“Hermione, you must know how I feel about you.”

“Draco, is now the—time?”

“What better time than now? What if this is it?”

He traces the curve of her cheek, settling his hand along her jaw.

“What if it is?”

She says this last in a whisper.

“There’s something I ought to tell you, in case it is.”

“What’s that?”

They’re both speaking softly now. The battle rages around them.

He lowers his face closer to hers.

“I lo…you were my first kiss.”


Ron yells and shoots a curse at him and they separate.

Ron takes her hand and asks if she’s okay.

She nods.

His eyes follow her.

She doesn’t look back.


His father yells and shoots a curse at Lupin and he runs toward the wall.

His father shakes his shoulders and asks if he’s okay.

He doesn’t respond.

And then the fighting ceases, for a moment.

And the Dark Lord announces Harry Potter is dead.


This can’t be happening

It isn’t supposed to be like this

Not him

They worry suddenly for the other

What if this is it?


What if this is it?

He’d die without telling her.


What if this is it?

She’d die without seeing him again.


And then they hold their breath where they stand, ringing the Great Hall.

And then Harry announces the truth of the wand.

The truth of Riddle, the truth of the prophecy.

The truth of everything.

And they cast their spells—

And this is it, finally, at last, this is it—


And they see each other on opposite sides, but the sides are crumbling.

Harry stands over the shrunken body of Tom Marvolo Riddle.

And the Hall erupts in celebration.

Not an explosion, but a sigh, a great release of breath and shouts all at once.

She hugs Harry while he stands awkwardly in the corner.

Ron kisses her.

Ron sweeps her up in a grand circle and they sway on their feet.

Her eyes open for a moment.

They see each other over Ron’s shoulder; her, apologetic but resolute.

Him, shattered.

Him, heartbroken and stunned.

And there are no words to say.


They lose touch.

September rolls around, and she’s on her way to Hogwarts.

He isn’t.

She misses him.

She reminds herself to stop looking for him.


Winter rolls around, and he’s at Malfoy Manor.

She isn’t.

Memories crowd to the forefront of his mind, superimposed over the spot where Bellatrix…

She isn’t there, but the ghost of her is.

He can’t shake it.

He’s not sure he wants to.


The Prophet shouts about her every day.

Hermione Granger graduates Hogwarts

Ms. Granger, the smartest witch of her age, campaigns for the rights of house-elves

Hermione Jean Granger to wed Ronald Bilius Weasley

Eventually he stops paying for the paper.


She hears from a coworker at the Ministry that he’s engaged to Astoria Greengrass.

She nods and smiles and inquires politely about his health.

When she can, she walks quickly to the bathroom and composes herself.

It’s unfair of me, she thinks, to have imagined us together. Selfish.

She fiddles with her engagement ring.

She reminds herself to forget him.


“Congratulations, Mrs. Weasley. A healthy baby girl.”

Ron beams at her. She smiles back exhaustedly.

“A girl,” she says. “We’ll call her Rose.”

And on the other side of the hospital—

“Congratulations, Mrs. Malfoy. It’s a boy!”

And they name him Scorpius.


He sees Ron in the dimly lit cafeteria.

Of all the Muggle hospitals they could have gone to.

Ron doesn’t say anything.

They nod tersely.

And suddenly he realizes what must have just happened for them, and it strikes him like a Bludger to the chest.

And guilt claws at him immediately.

He reminds himself to forget her.


“You’ll never guess who I’ve just seen.”

“Who?”

“Draco Malfoy?”

“Really? Here?”

“Strange, isn’t it? Who’d’ve guessed he’d go to a Muggle hospital?”

“Yes…strange…”


He doesn’t tell Astoria.


They see each other in Diagon Alley, and she almost says hello.

She studies him.

He’s standing in front of Flourish and Blotts with an armload of shopping bags.

There’s an almost imperceptible sag to his shoulders, but when he sees her his eyes brighten.

She smiles back him, and he straightens, a smile hesitant at his lips.

The words almost come out of her mouth before she sees his wife.

Astoria Malfoy exits Flourish and Blotts and hands him her purchases before glancing to see who he’s staring at.

But she’s ducked her head and walks away.

They see each other in Diagon Alley, and he lets her go.


And now—

Their eyes meet across the platform.

I love you, he’d say.

Instead, he kisses the top of his son’s head and waves as he goes into his compartment.

I had hope for us, she’d say.

Instead, she gives her daughter one last hug.

The train puffs and pulls away from the station.

They catch eyes.

They stand on the same side, at last.

But the train turns the corner—

Ron pulls on her hand—

And she leaves with him.


She looks back once.

He’s watching her leave.

The fog and smoke clear and their eyes meet.

His heart beats harder.

He raises a hand in farewell.

She smiles sadly.

And there are no words to say.

EXO Reaction when Baekhyun doesn’t know his friend likes him

I hope you like this  @unicorngzb It’s nice to have you back!

Love, Admin A~

/I don’t own any of the gifs used, unless stated otherwise/


Chanyeol: 

“I can’t belive you haven’t realized Baekhyun! She even laughs at you jokes!”

Kris:

*Didn’t know either* “What what?! Y/N likes Baekhyun?! I thought she liked just bacon.. not.. him too”

Sehun:

*Deep breath* “My god…. and he calls himself casanova… I need to give him some lessons..”

Tao:

*Can’t believe it* “Baekhyun! We’ve been talking about this for 6 hours! Can’t you see it? The girl is giving her best and you are here having doubts!”

Kai:

Please wake me up when he realizes okay?” This will be a loooong nap…

Xiumin:

*Watches how they all discuss about it* “Really Baekhyun? You’ve even said it yourself and you still don’t realize it? … only you”

Baekhyun:

She said I was cute! CUTE! She friendzoned me!”

Luhan:

So Baek has a girl crazy for him and he doesn’t even know… but who have I? No o.. myself!” *a little jelly*

Chen:

No no.. I think you got it wrong. If a girl hugs you that much… think about it… why do you think she does it?” *Tries to give him obvious hints*

Kyungsoo:

*Finally has the perfect opportunity to annoy Baek* “You’ll pay! I’m going to tease you everyday!”

Lay:

*He is the one helping her with Baekhyun* “I told you… he suspects nothing, you better give him that cute surprise already!”

Suho:

*He is the one who spoils it to Baek* “I wish you two good luck in your relationship! .. What? She hasn’t proposed? But it was going to be today…”

[Masterlist] [Guideline]

I just really want Ruby and Regina to be friends. Like full on, drinking at sleep overs and sharing secrets. Regina gets mopey over how much crap she has in her life, Ruby drunkenly leans over, throws her arm over Regina’s shoulder and tells her about how she ate her boyfriend.

They bond over dulled homicidal tendencies with Regina making as many dog jokes as possible and Ruby trying to glare but being too drunk to focus her eyes.

Dear god please let this be a thing.

straight grls u know I don’t hate any of u but i DO hate it when u call ur straight girl best friends ur girlfriends!
it may seem fun & innocent but at the core of it ur making gay love between girls seem like a joke, like our love is just platonic when it comes down to it. please stop. you don’t know how much you’re hurting us and monopolizing this term. when a girl who is legitimately dating a girl tells someone she has a girlfriend or introduces her girlfriend as her girlfriend, people don’t actually think they’re dating. because of the way u guys use this term! no one thinks of the term “boyfriend” like this! how does no one see how wrong this is?

Hi Guys! I hope you enjoy this April fools fic prompted to me by the lovely kristicallahan *smutty times ahead*

Forever Tag list: nemo-miracle-grow areyousad8118 thisissomefreshbullshit luckyemcee mmfdiaryfan murderyoursoul kristicallahan irish-girl-84 sey77 bebelievelive justagirlnamedkayla i-love-mmfd anitavalija stephsadickhead milymargot busstop ililypop pink-royaute lolflash youmehellofarollercoasterride curvygirlonabudget mellamoaiko dontneedamoralcompass paleasalabaster mmfdfanfic mallyallyandra lethallylauren finnleysraemundo pissingonursoul losingpudge bitchy-broken fuckintentshop audisodd perfecters darlingdiver fantasticab celestev31 myfinnnelsonpls rinncincin tinakegg ducky17 katywright340 bitcheslovebeck raernundo nutinanutshell cant-getno-sleep courtkismet omgbananasnailus i-dream-of-emus gemmarstyles guyoverboard anglophileyoungblood swooningfangirl bitchesbecrazy89 chrryblsms girlwithafoxhat annemarieted sammylbc abullofshit sarahlouise88ni denaceleste how-ardently idontliketalkingtoanybody mmfdblog phoenixflow penguinsandbowties fizzezlikecherrycola fangirlwithoutshame africancreativity alyssaloca llexis thatfunnygirllauren cheersmedear 14000romances rred87 nirvanalove27 takenbyatree im-an-emu shashaaussi mirandasmadeofstone lililuvlight flxwxry slitherouter saracasm25 becauseyouarestrong malvaloca93 happyfrasers vmellow scumothaearff wandering-soul-7 hewittgolightly please let me know if you would like to be added or removed :D

A/N: Finn and Rae are 19/20 in this.

Joke’s On Us

Keep reading

Signs and the last things they said to me (I'm a Cancer)

Aries: I’m sorry you hate me.

Taurus: We’re all pregnant. I’m pregnant. You’re pregnant. She’s pregnant. He’s pregnant. Pregnant

Gemini: That’s rad, man

Cancer: Out of respect for your feelings, I won’t fight her, even though I want to

Leo: OMG! That’s so awesomeeee :-)

Virgo: What time do I need to RSVP by?

Libra: I just really need to listen to JT right now…

Scorpio: Yes, but why does this matter?

Saggitarius: If she’s acting like a jerkwad jackwagon, you should let her know

Capricorn: HOW DARE YOU TELL ME THINGS!!?!

Aquarius: I had a joke about blowjobs but it sucks

Pisces: Please don’t do that

  • Frankie:*makes rape jokes, says Jocasta can kill herself, called Brittany's children dogs, constantly bashes Zach, makes personal attacks on people*
  • Frankie Stans:You guys hate every little thing he does we're all human it's the cameras fault everything is taken out of context!
  • Jocasta:*throws Frankie's medicine*
  • Frankie Stans:OMG what a bitch! The worst human ever! How could she? How dare her be so cold hearted! I hate her lets put her head on a stick!