i-lied-i-am-an-escalator

anonymous asked:

what's the pettiest thing you've ever done to get back at someone?

The pettiest…. hmmmm…. Get ready this is a crazy story:

Okay so one time I had this long term boyfriend and we went through a really bad break up. Two weeks after we broke up this nigga had A WHOLE NEW GIRLFRIEND. TWOOOO WEEKS! He had all of our pictures deleted and had new pictures of him and her posted up!!! ALREADY!!!! I was like wtf?! In order to get into a relationship, there has to be some type of relation building up prior to that. And we never took any breaks in between our relationship so I knew some shit was up. So I do my little investigating thing on his social media (this is back when I used Instagram and Twitter really heavily) and looked for her tag name, but her page was private. There was another girl who commented on their pictures with heart eyes and shit. So I clicked on her page and it turned out to be his new girlfriend’s bestfriend. So I’m lurking trying to figure out who she is and what type of girl she is and I see a whole bunch of nothing. So I had my bestfriend add his girlfriend so I could lurk to my fullest potential. This girl had pictures of MY boyfriend on HER page 27 weeks back while we were still together. The only difference was you couldn’t see his face in any of the pictures. So I’m SICK to my stomach. I’m pissed. My face is on fire, I’m sobbing, my friend like “Girl what you gone do?!”. I’m like idk I love him blah blah blah. And she gets her shit and leaves because she’s sick of my shit. So I slept on it and then realized who tf I was the next morning. I came up with a plan that was VERY far fetched and probably a bad idea to this day, but at the time it made sense. I blocked my ex so that my plan would go smoothly. I changed my username so I wouldn’t set off any red flags. I requested his new girl and she accepted me almost ASAP. And so I liked a few of her pictures (not the ones with my ex in them) to let my presence be known and she liked some of mine back. I waited a day or two and then I hit her dms and introduced myself. She took to this very well, and I’m guessing she didn’t recognize me (which is weird because my ex had pictures of me around that 27 week mark when she posted pics, but anyways). She introduced herself back and I basically started a conversation with her, flirted mildly. Like a week later we exchanged numbers and were texting. She was digging me, which was my goal. So we hung out a few times, and I didn’t bring up my ex NOT ONCE. I didn’t wanna blow my cover. So she really started feeling me and liking me and wanting to go places in public. This is where my plan started to slip from under me. This all was a secret not even my bestfriend knew about this shit. So the girl hit me one night like “I really really like you, and I feel really bad that I have a boyfriend.” I was just like “don’t worry babe it’s cool I’m not worried about him” (damn I really wasn’t shit) and she was like really relieved. So my ex (her boyfriend) randomly hit me up one day telling me he missed me. I didn’t expect him to, but I figured it would be convenient because my plan was to originally rub it in his face that I got his girl. So I’m like “I miss you too and I wanna see you”. So he comes over and we chilling. He asked me why I changed my name and why I got him blocked and i made up some lie about my heart couldn’t take having to see him or some bullshit. So he was apologizing and all telling me he had a new girlfriend and that he wasn’t in love with her like he was in love with me. I was like awww that’s so sweet but I’m seeing someone. This nigga was PISSED. He got up yelling throwing his arms around. I’m sitting there like are you serious lmao the whole time I’m texting his girlfriend some nice feedback on her nudes. Then he ask who I’m texting and gonna say “who is that your new nigga?” I was like that’s none of your concern. So he leaves all overdramatic huffing and puffing. So me and home girl go to the movies, our first public date, I was actually having fun with this girl but I could never date a woman and I started feeling guilty. I saw my bestfriend and her boyfriend at the ticket clerk desk and my stomach dropped because she looked at me crazy like wtf are you doing with her. So I rushed pass her and headed to the movie, did NOT get any snacks, did NOT pass go, did NOT collect $200. The whole time my ex’s gf looking at me crazy like why are you walking so fast. So we sit down and she talking about she wanted some nachos and a slushie and I’m getting irritated and snap on her like “why didn’t you get any when we were out there?!” And she gets all sad and stomps off to go get some. So my bestfriend text me like “BITCHHHHH EXPLAIN”. And so I told her my plan. She ran ALLLLLL the way into the movie I was in just to ask me was I serious. Since she didn’t see my ex’s gf anywhere she sat down in the seat and we were both dying laughing at my plan. So the girl comes back from getting her snacks and sees my bestfriend in her seat and she gets HEATED. She’s asking who she is and why she here and blah blah. So I told my friend I would talk to her later. The girl sits down and is dead silent for the rest of the movie. After the movie I was like I’m sorry and I was like that’s my friend. She was like “it’s okay I get jealous sometimes”. So then we went to her house and made out for a bit, I didn’t wanna have sex with her (she thought I was being respectful, but I just didn’t wanna have sex with a girl). And she got a text from my ex. She tried to hide the screen and all that but I didn’t care. She started panicking and I was like what’s wrong. She was like my boyfriend is on his way he’s 4 minutes away. My head fell off my neck. I was like what do you want me to do? Because I didn’t have a car and I wasn’t about to hide. This girl gone say “hide….?” I was like WOWWWWWWWWW. In my head this shit had just gone way too far. I’m thinking like wow I’m too pretty for this. Why am I even here how did this escalate to me hiding in my ex’s girlfriend’s closet. So I get in the closet because this nigga is knocking on the door. He came in and sat on her bed talking about he missed her and blah blah blah. She lied talking about she’s been busy studying and working etc. Meanwhile I’m peaking out the crack of the door. So he grabs her and tries to kiss her but she hesitates and he feels it so he’s like what’s wrong. She’s like I’m sick and my mom coming to take me to the doctor soon so you should go. He called her out on bullshit and they start arguing. So he leaves and she apologizes to me and promises I won’t have to hide anymore. I was like what you mean? She was like “I REALLY like you, like I could see us together.” And I was like ehhhhh “I like you too.” Lying straight through my teeth. So I get home that night and I feel bad like super guilty. I threw up and everything because lying makes me physically sick ever since I was a kid. (I think it has to do with a guilty conscience or something idk) so I FaceTime my bestfriend and ask her what I should do and she’s like I have no idea. I had to confess sooner than later because Valentine’s Day was coming up and my birthday was after that in March and I wanted to do single things on my birthday. So I was like I need to get out of this but I wanna do it with a bang. So I made valentines plans with the girl and she blew off my ex talking about she had to do something with her dad. We went to Cheesecake Factory and then to this little art gallery down in third ward (if you’re from 414 you know where that is). They had wine tasting and stuff and they weren’t checking IDs at the time (I was 19 at the time). So we enjoyed ourselves. I was like we should take A LOT of pictures. We took some that looked really tumblr-esque and we took some kissing etc. she was like I want to post these and was like you should wait until tomorrow (I had something up my sleeve). She was all for it. So we go to her house, & I could tell she was mad horny but luckily she was drunk enough to pass out on the bed. It was time to be PETTY. I texted my ex from her phone and was like come over I miss you. He wasted no time and said he’d be there in 10 mins. I posted our pictures on Instagram including the one where were kissing and I put “love of my life etc.” with a bunch of emojis. I told my friend to come to the girl house and wait outside because I knew I wouldn’t be staying long. She parked at the end of the block so my ex wouldn’t recognize her car. So he comes and he’s knocking on the door. The girl still passed out on the bed. I go to the bathroom and check my makeup and hair and make sure up still looking like I just walked out of Vogue issue. And of course I was looking too good for words. So I went to the door and answered and he looked like he saw a ghost!!!! He started to say something but I interrupted him like “Come in.” He slowly and cautiously came in like was gonna stab him or something and he did NOT take his eyes off me the whole time. I wanted die laughing but I had to stay in character. He stood there super tense and had a look a fear in his eyes I had never seen before. Remember when Bishop caught Q in the elevator on Juice? He was Q. I was like “can I get a hey or a hello?” He was like “cut the bullshit why are you here and where is she at?” I was like she sleep. And I walked to her room. He followed me and stayed in the door confused as hell. He called her name and woke her up while I gathered my shit. She woke up looking left and right completely oblivious. I acted all innocent standing there like “ should I leave?” She was like no you should stay. Then he started going off like wtf going on etc. my friend kept calling me back to back and texted me like “you good girl? What’s going on?” But I hit decline and said I’ll be out soon. He was like you seriously fucking my girlfriend? I didn’t respond I just stood there acting clueless. Then the girl looked at me and looked at him like how do y'all know each other. He was like this my ex. And she was in so much denial telling him to get out and fuck off etc. I was like I’m leaving because you have too much baggage. Then she started crying. Then my ex was like nah you not leaving. He tried to have me stay like wtf was the point? You just got t.y.b’d (take your bitch). He was so embarrassed. I left anyway. They both were calling me all night I had to put their numbers on do not disturb. At the time I was working at this boutique called White House Black Market. Why did the girl show up to my job the next day saying she dumped my ex and wants to try things with me. I had to take my 15 min break early to talk to her. I felt so bad. I told her I wasn’t attracted to girls and i just wanted to get back at my ex etc. she was sobbing and I felt like shit. She was just like can we at least be friends? And I was like yea but that’s all we can be. So after that we hung out a few more times but I moved to NC and we slowly stopped talking. Ever since then I have never been petty again. My ex hates me to this day, and that’s exactly what I wanted him to feel, and to be honest it felt really good lmao. It just sucked that the girl had to be collateral damage. I guess all is not fair in love and war. 💔

Sirius Black x Reader FANFICTION- A Girl Worth Fighting For

Request: “ Id love to see you write something where Sirius teaches some cat callers a lesson for the reader :))”  - Anonymous

Warnings: the catcalling kind of (not really) escalates but nothing actually happens because Sirius becomes our savior… idk, it’s a fair warning tho

Word Count: 692

A/N: YESSSS!! FIRST REQUEST! HUGE MILESTONE HERE PEOPLE! I honestly don’t know why I am so excited. Thx for the request! I lied btw, i decided to post it today! Also sorry if this kind of sucks. I honestly could’ve done better, I just didn’t know where to take this to exactly. (yes, i referenced mulan in the title.)




  You were walking confidently down one of the halls in Hogwarts. You felt good about yourself today. Many people complimented you, something you were unused to (unless your boyfriend Sirius Black did it. He did it constantly). You were heading to the Gryffindor common room, ready to cuddle with Sirius (you did this every afternoon).

  You took a turn. A group of three seventh year boys were walking past you. One of them nudged another and brought his attention to you. A disgusting smirk grew on his face as he stopped and wolf whistled at you.

Keep reading

Let’s Be Real (End)

Sequel to Let’s Pretend (Read all parts HERE)

Summary: The reader and Dean begin their relationship, as all kinds of things await their future together.

Word Count: 2,611

Characters: Dean x Reader

Warnings: None.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

A/N: We have arrived to the end of the Let’s Pretend + Let’s Be Real series! AHHH. Sorry to have dragged this out for so long, but here ya go! Thank you for your love and your messages through it all! 

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my fingers
feed lies to my pen
it is a writers job
to tell the tale
to entertain
it is a writers job
to feel
the pain

but my fingers are cracked
and my heart is broken,
and though my search has been thorough
I am more
than this moment

and as the clock strikes twelve
on cinderella’s final night
this writer will dance,
this writer shall take flight

and as I close this door,
you’ll see to say “come again”
but perhaps I won’t,
perhaps this is the end

my brain
fuels fire
in the escalation of the forest,

but I will sit amongst the flames–
yes my dear,
this writer
will burn
and yes my dear
this writer
does yearn
but for more than the flame,
the fairytale, the end–
she wants far more
than a hideous godsend;
and this writer
will bloom
this writer will become her own cresent moon,
and storm the very ashes
of this castle

—  unmask the queen, a.c.