The signs as things my friends as the signs have said pt. 2
  • Taurus: I have no clue who's socks these are but I'm wearing them. They were in my drawer! They have the name Michael written on them! I don't know a Michael!
  • Gemini: Apparently, they thought I was super calm... When in reality was losing it on the outside, about to go off on the customer.
  • Cancer: Sorry, I was napping.
  • Leo: I'm running off of three hours of sleep and I haven't eaten in almost 24 hours. What's new with you?
  • Virgo: *Sings off key then proceeds to laugh so hard we almost wreck*
  • Libra: I will fucking cockslap her if she tries me.
  • Scorpio: I decided to get back at her. I hit her in the head with a wiffle ball twice... and I did some other stuff...
  • Sagittarius: Why am I the goblin woman? I don't wanna be the goblin woman!
  • Capricorn: So, I saw his car was there and I shit on his windshield. So yeah, that happened...
  • Aquarius: Yes daddy I do!
  • Pisces: I ended up spending $250 on lush products... I do NOT! have an addiction!

Favorite Leverage moments from rewatch 1,867 (or something like that) end of season 2:

-Eliot “I don’t do that anymore” Spencer being willing to kill the fake psychic who made Parker cry.

-Eliot trying so hard not to smile while Hardison does his over-the-top cop routine with the officer at Bonnano’s house.

-Tara laughing at Eliot and Hardison doing their special handshake over Eliot getting a sandwich named after him.  She’s always exasperated with Nate, but she kind of loves the rest of the team.


- Super Defensive Nate softening instantly when an upset Parker tells him to “Be Nathan Ford!”

I feel like I need to share this in a long tumblr post.

So a few weeks ago I had this dream that I was getting food with one of my IRL friends, and we were talking about so many different things. Then, out of nowhere, she says “man, I really love Connor McDavid.”

And I’m sitting there like hold up, you don’t even like hockey. I ask her, “when did you start paying attention to hockey?”

She goes, “the fuck you mean hockey? He’s in that new boyband.”

Now at this point dream-me is losing it. I pull out my phone and google Connor McDavid and sure enough some boyband pops up. And, conveniently, the two other members are Dylan Strome and Mitch Marner.

To make this long story short, I woke up laughing so hard I almost peed myself.

anonymous asked:

Do you think the Trojans refer to Jean as 'the french fries' when they're mad at him ?

Omg I love this

But how could anyone ever be mad at that beautiful French boy? I honestly can’t imagine it but it’s still cute

  • It started as a drunk thing alvarez did
  • She wanted Jean to buy her a(nother) drink
  • “You’re already drunk, I’m not wasting my money.”  he had said
  • “You’re so mean french fries!” She frowned and clung to laila 
  • “Yeah frenchy fries,” laila agreed, “so mean.”
  • And all the drunk trojans laughed
  • The next time it happens is when Jean is overtired 
  • (he still pushes himself too hard, have to be better, got to play better, work harder. Night practice doesn’t always end when your arms give out on you)
  • He doesn’t say a word to anyone for hours
  • And the trojans 
  • “Careful lover boy,” one of them say to Jeremy, “French fries is cranky.”
  • And Jeremy laughs a little at the nickname
  • Jean wants to be mad but goddamn is his boyfriend cute 
  • It’s hard to be upset with that smile 
  • He still doesn’t like the nickname
  • Alvarez calls him it the most
  • Sometimes just because 
  • “Which outfit is better french fries? Yellow or orange?” 
  • “I still don’t understand why you call me french fries.”
  • Or
  • “Where are you taking Jer tonight french fries?”
  • But sometimes on a rare occassion 
  • When Jean’s mind isn’t acting right 
  • Or when he’s playing exy and he forgets for a minute where he is
  • Which team he’s playing on 
  • When he swears he can hear riko
  • One of those things that make his thoughts click back into place is laila yelling
  • “French fries!” 
  • Because he knows only his family the trojans call him that

  • There’s one night
  • Jean and jeremy are drunk
  • The trojans won a game
  • They’re somewhere
  • Hours away from USC
  • Staying the night
  • They’re listening to an old mixtape from god knows who and You are my Sunshine starts playing
  • And Jean is sloppily singing to Jeremy
  • “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.” He’s blush and Jeremy is looking at him like he’s something special
  • Something worth saving 
  • And Jean is on his knees crying 
  • Jeremy is real careful with his hands “can I hold you?” waiting patiently for approval which only makes Jean cry more
  • “It’s okay Jean. You’re safe french fries.” Jeremy whispered after a long moment, Jena looks up to a soft smile. 
  • “Thanks,” Jean breathed softly, “You…american bagel.”
  • And the laughter makes them both feel better
iKON reaction to coming home and their girlfriend is crying in the bedroom and they're really worried but she is only crying over a drama

cr. of the gifs to the rightful owner(s)


he wouldn’t know how to react. he would try to process just what the hell was happening and when he did, he’d look at her ‘’i’m so done with you…’’

Originally posted by alittlepessimistic


he would frown upon hearing her but frown even more when he understood what she was crying over, making it hard for him to even react to it. ‘’what the-’’

Originally posted by darlinglion


‘’really?’’ he’d stare at her, judging her real hard even tho he did the same ‘’over a freaking drama?’’ he was real worried for her tho

Originally posted by ikonis


he would rush to her and sigh out in relief but laugh right after at the reality he found her into, making him feel less worried over her

Originally posted by donghyuk-ikon


‘’why are you…crying?’’ even after she explained him it was because of the drama, he would be quite lost but he’d end up laughing at it

Originally posted by ikonis


‘’no.bye. i’m not going to stay here. i refuse to.’’ he would literally be done with her since he just rushed to get to her and it was just a drama she was crying over

Originally posted by ikonis


he would sit by her side upon understanding it was the drama she was crying over, shake his head but probably join her right after and cry over it too-

Originally posted by bi-ai


Happy 8th Debut Anniversary to the loveliest lady that I’m proud to call my bias. 

Thank you for always giving us 110% of your love and dedication, for always working hard and gifting us songs when we least expect it, for making each and every one of us smile and laugh along with you. Thank you for creating music and singing for us even when we ask for more and also, 

 Thank you for being you.

BLOCK B REACTION To their gf leaving a period blood stain on their pants when she sits on their lap.

I laughed so hard picturing the scene! xD







“Wait… did you just?”


“Wait what? Is this…”




“That is awkward…”


Gif Credits To Their Original Owners!

~ADM Pandacchi

i just want to talk about mama green’s two appearances at the hospital in this episode

first, she is so totally scandalized at the mere thought of her daughter stepping out with the chaplain.  it’s hilarious.  i was laughing so hard.  

then, when she comes back the next morning all feisty because Where Has Emma Been All Night and she sees emma being a total boss nurse and mama green is just at a loss.  

i don’t know.  all around mama green’s growing understanding of why her daughter is doing what she’s doing is just the greatest thing though.

Reasons not to like Carla VanGuiness:

- She beats her horses
- She’s arrogant
- She’s a real pain
- I don’t like her hair
- She smells weird
- Her vag is tight
- She killed a guy
- She likes cheese
- She eats all her sandwiches one ingredient at a time
- She cuts people at Starbucks
- She hits dogs with other dogs
- She eats cats
- She juggles hamsters
- She tears down houses
- She eats Lamborghinis
- She shits rainbows
- She’s purple
- She doesn’t like The Smurfs
- She swims funny
- She’s not a fan of the fourth Chipmunks movie

  • so apparently allstate is marketing “vigilante coverage” now #onlyingotham #finally #goodbyegeico

  • i’m sitting in traffic and red hood is sitting on a roof opposite that new allstate billboard and he’s laughing so hard i’m worried he’s going to fall  #onlyingotham #itsnotthatfunny #yallstomfooleryisexpensive

  • omg i was walking home and batgirl dropped some criminal onto a car roof near me and when she saw me she just said “ALLSTATE” in the allstate guy’s voice and then ran off #kidsthesedays #onlyingotham

  • #onlyingotham would one of those wayne kids telling reporters “don’t u have a bank robbery to cover” a couple hours before an actual bank robbery not be thought suspicious

  • seriously tho who got #isjasontoddthejoker trending?? #smh #yallarentfromhereareyou #thishappenseveryothertuesday RT #onlyingotham would one of those wayne kids telling reporters “don’t u have a bank robbery to cover” a couple hours before an actual bank robbery not be thought suspicious
There are times that it’s hard to eat with MJ, because I don’t want to look away from those riveting green eyes. There are other times where she has me laughing so hard I can’t force food down. There are still other times when realizing that I’m sitting there with -pardon the cliché- the love of my life ties up my guts up in knots the way it did when we first started going out, or when I first realized that she really did love me and I wasn’t imagining it.
—  Peter in Spider-Man: Requiem

Been re-watchng season 2 of Jane the Virgin knowing that Rose is Susanna and looking for little tell-tale signs. I laughed so hard at the scene where Luisa accidentally calls Rose a psychopath to her face! Susanna/Rose’s face is priceless!! 😂
Megan Ketch did such a great job!!

But man.. That awkward moment when your crush/the love of your life accidentally tells you what she really thinks of you… Especially when you really are a murdering psycho/sociopath. Hahaha! Poor Rose… That must’ve sucked to hear. Although… #RealityCheckGirl!

almostthereblog  asked:

Hi. Mind a prompt for sass-verse? "Little Jaida is regaled a makeup set from mamma maria and she tries it out on herself and Altair. Can she rope in her brothers too? And then Malik comes home." Feel free to try/scrap it. Stay well and happy writing!

a/n: i assumed you mean Maria as in Jaida’s actual Mother, not Mama Maria who would have had all her gifts returned even if she’d bothered to send them.  It doesn’t matter much who sent the gift in retrospect, but that’s what I had in mind when I wrote it.

Malik came home with Sofia clutching at his arm.  Her glow of laughter as bright as the sun, burning all pink in her chapped cheeks.  The snow they’d fallen in was still stuck to their coats and clotted in her hair but she was laughing so hard she was breathless from it.  “You did that on purpose.”

“No,” she denied.  Her scarf was as long as she was tall, slowly unwinding from her neck.  The foyer was a delightful spot, with enough cubbies to tuck away all the little shoes and hats and coats that needed spots to be tucked.  She’d been there a week already, long-since used to hanging her coat on the guest hook and tucking her boots in with the others.  She stood on her tip-toes in the puddles they made shaking the snow off their clothes.  “I’ll get the mop.”

Malik was six-split-seconds away from a full refusal of any such thing when Jaida’s echoing screech interrupted.  She was running full-speed down the hall with a flash of pink-pink glitter as her tutu jumped up and down and the long feather boa (another birthday gift) flew in the wind behind her.  

“Daddy!” she shrieked at him.  There was a tube of blunt lipstick in one of her chubby hands as she looked up at him with (bright-red-cheeks and gaudy-blue-eyelids) shining excitement.  Eyeshadow and lipgloss was smeared all across her arms in zebra stripes and leopard spots.  “Look!” she shouted (as if he could have kept himself from seeing, as neon bright as she was).  

Sofia was struck as dumb as he was, so there was the two of them with gaping mouths and no words, looking down at Jaida who was waiting with her arms spread.  “How beautiful,” Sofia said (at last)

“Yeah,” Malik added.  “Creative,” seemed dour and sarcastic.  “Where’s your father?” he asked.  “And the boys?”

Jaida rolled her eyes (as only three year olds could do) and reached up to grab him by the finger.  The grit of the eyeshadow was caught in the glue-consistency of the lipstick squeezed tight between her hot little fingers.  It clung to his skin instantly and he had to grit his teeth behind his pasted-on smile just to keep from recoiling from it.  “Come on,” she told him.  “Come on I’ll show you.”  

They were down the hall and through the kitchen into the all-weather room at the back.  The snow was falling from the trees in the back, all dainty and pretty, and Jaida stopped short of the layer of plastic sheeting that covered the floor.  There were his sons (and his husband) sitting crossed legged in a sort of circle, looking like over-painted clowns.  

The boys had their hair pulled back from their faces with the glittery pink bows Jaida had gotten for her birthday, each of them were pushing cars against their thighs while they looked indecisive and confused.  But Altair was sitting in a ruined suit (clearly having failed to think the whole thing through) smiling so wide the garish-red-slash of lipstick haphazardly spread on his mouth looked like a horror movie come to life.  “We’re playing beauty parlor!”

“Why?” Malik asked.  The word had never (not once, not in all the years of their marriage, not in all of the years of their relationship, not once in all of his whole life) sounded as desperate as it did in that moment.  He looked at his sons–his perfectly adorable sons–and they were rainbow-colors.  Their fingernails were red from how they’d scratched the lipstick off and their little toes, wiggling impatiently while they sat had been painted neon colors.  The fingernail polish had exploded on the plastic sheeting like a Pollack painting.

“Maria sent Jaida a beauty box,” Altair said.

“I was only gone for an hour,” Malik said.  

Jaida had let go of his hand long enough to walk across the crinkling plastic to pick up her pallet of colors but she was back at his side with a sadist’s grin and a sticky-tipped make up brush.  “I was waiting for you,” she said.  

Sofia had her fingers spread across her lips as she smiled at him.  “Do you have any idea how long this is going to take to get off their faces?”

Malik felt his hand being pulled toward the plastic sheeting but he couldn’t look away from Sofia even as her face went red in her effort not to laugh.  “Don’t laugh at this.”

“You have to sit,” Jaida told him as she tugged at his hand.  “Daddy,” was perfectly patient, the way they spoke to her when she threw tantrums, “you have to sit.”

Malik sat at the end of the half- circle, looking directly across at Altair who was blushing up with the same giggles that Sofia was trying to hide.  “An hour,” he said over Jaida’s ducked head.  

“Now,” his daughter said.  Her hand slapped against his cheek with full authority and she pushed his face until he was looking directly at her.  Her grim frown was full of intent and determination as she wielded the gummy brush in the space between their noses.  “I’m going to make you pretty,” was as good as a death threat.  “But you have to sit still.  Look at Sef,” she motioned over to her (perfectly innocent) brother who was looking sideways out of the corner of his eyes like he knew what he’d done.  “Sef didn’t sit still.”

“I did!” Tazim shouted.  “You said we could have a turn if we sat still.”

“It’s my turn,” was Sef.  

The scuffle for the remains of the make up were brief and loud, knobby knees and dirty palms on plastic sheets.  Altair was coughing to keep from laughing, “There’s no part of your faces left to paint,” Altair was saying.  (Not that it would stop them.)

Jaida turned her head to glare at them, and sighed.  “Boys,” she said (to Malik, a male), “right, Daddy?”

“Right,” he agreed (for lack of anything better to say).

Full Confession:

I honestly don’t know how they did it. In SoS, I read on that Eda dies. I laughed and thought it was a bit morbid for a kids game, but didn’t think about it too hard as I went to play. In summer she’s out farming when you go visit her plot. Later, she stops caring for her garden. Then you stop seeing her out and about. Then her farm is totally neglected and you think, should I feed her animals? So there’s a whole decline … and it’s very upsetting. When they finally go to the cutscene of her funeral, I actually felt myself welling up with tears, I couldn’t believe it. I was in shock. I’ve never experienced that in a computer game before ….

“When I told my mum you left she said ‘Look on the bright side’,” she laughs with blank eyes, “'you’ll have more time for yourself and your schoolwork’.”

“So I suppose,” she clutched her hands together and notices the way her fingers interlock, “on the bright side my hair won’t be tangled anymore because he used to kiss me so hard and weave his fingers through my hair while he did so and it would always take me hours to unwind the knots he would tie with his wandering hands.”

“On the bright side,” she whispers, “I won’t always have to reapply my lipstick whenever I walk past him in the corridor because he could never resist dragging me into an empty classroom, wrapping his arms around my waist and pressing his mouth against my own, even if just for a moment.”

“I’m trying…” her voice cracks. “I’m really trying to look on the bright side but I can’t hear anything but this ringing noise in my ears and the thought that he’ll never help me paint the nails on my right hand again.”

—  Heartbreak has no silver linings, 19/08/2015

I thought that you had become a completely different person now… I thought that my nice fattie friend Seong Joon had disappeared… but…you were still you. if I hadn’t been so stupid and hid from you and instead had appeared in front of you, we could have laughed comfortably like we did today and I probably could have been next to you when you were having a hard time, right? Seong Joon, I.. Today.. Maybe if it’s today, I think I could tell you… that I’m your friend Kim Hye Jin. I feel like I could tell you everything.

on a more positive note i played bullshit w some pf my Good Patients today and i stg i had a fucking stroke like we spent 5 solid minutes trying to get me to comprehend what fucking number we wete on and i just could not fucking say the right number or wrap my head around it and we wete all laughing so hard it was good

also me and my Fav Patient did a crossword that like the uncircled letters spelled a sentence and we fucked up Majorly and it took us like 20 mins to fix what we did wrong and when we finally glt it we wete so fuckin excited and we laughed so hard that we both cried and also she like rolled on the ground and got glitter glue in her hair

(i’m not even watching Something Borrowed but as 4 or 5 people i follow are liveblogging, a few things: it’s been so long since Gwen saw her parents in person that they believed she was actually eight or so months pregnant and just hadn’t told them? we haven’t seen or heard about the friends at her hen night before and it’s clear she did let her real life drift a bit- hard not to but i laugh so much when they’re like ‘was she pregnant? how did we not notice? how drunk were we’ but back to the hen night for a moment i want to know if toshiko was invited. i don’t ship gwen and jack romantically but there is undeniable tension between them that’s at a boiling point here with the worst timing. also rhys puts up with so much shit i want to give him a hug and a medal or something) 

Come Fly With Me - Draco Malfoy Imagine

A/N: hello, dearies! :D got another request for you! I feel like I’m slowly getting back on track! hahaha so I’m getting there! I loved this request so I hope you guys like it as much as I did :D

Anonymous said:May I request one shot where Draco dates a muggle?4 years after a war and after everything he had seen during battle he decided to change. He met a girl his life went this unexpected way. Can you write a moment when he shows her magic?He shows her some spells,potions(like Amortentia)and explains her everything. Then he shows her his broom and takes her on a ride. She’s at first like „not happening” but finally agrees. At first she clenches to him so hard he laughs but then she starts to enjoy it 

so, here it is! :D hope you guys like it!

Disclaimer: I don’t own Harry Potter :)

Your name: submit What is this?

Come Fly With Me

“Come on, love!”


“You will love it!”

“What part of no, did you not understand, Draco?”

“But- but I swear you’ll love it!”

“Draco Lucius Malfoy! I love you and everything about your world. The potions, the spells, I even understand Quidditch but you are seriously insane if you think that I’m going to get on a broom and fly with you!”

It had been four years from the battle of Hogwarts. Four years since Draco Malfoy decided to change after seeing so much darkness in his world. Four years since he’d befriended the Golden Trio. And then, almost a year later, he met Hermione’s childhood friend (Y/N) and fell in love with her almost instantly. The two of them quickly became friends and started dating soon after and now they were even living together. (Y/N) fell in love with everything that had to do with magic and their world and Draco loved showing her. That’s why he was currently trying his best to get her on his broom.

“But love, I promise you’ll love it!” he pouted with his best puppy eyes. “Please?”

“What if I fall?”

“You’re not going to fall” he said with a chuckle as he brought her closer to him. “I would never let that happen” he assured her kissing her forehead. “It’ll be fun. You’ll see why I love flying and Quidditch so much” he insisted.

(Y/N) looked at her boyfriend of over two years and couldn’t help but to think he looked adorable. He was like a five year old excited to show you something new. She debated whether or not she wanted to be up in the sky on a broom. She loved everything about Draco and the world he came from. She still remembered the first time he taught her anything about magic.


“I don’t get it.”

“Just trust me” Draco said smiling at his girlfriend.

“I do trust you, but I don’t understand the whole point of smelling it” she said pointing at the cauldron in the middle of the living room.

“Because that’s when you know it’s ready” Draco told her smiling. “Please?”

“I still don’t get it” she said even more confused. “It smells like you” she said casually. Draco felt the heat up his cheeks. Yes, they had been living together for a few months now but she still managed to make him blush all the time. That’s one of the things he loved most about her. “What?”

“W-well, this is the most powerful love potion in existence” he explained. “The thing is… the Amortentia smells differently to each person. See, it reminds each person of the things that they… like most” he told her.

“Oh” she said realizing why she smelled Draco. “What do you smell?”

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