okay I’m STILL not done the book yet because #life™ but some follow up reactions

  • The entire scene where Calypso and Apollo were trying to escape on the slow kiddy train at the Zoo had me in stitches holy shit
  • Apollo frantically hitting the gas and Calypso is just leisurely walking next to it while glaring at him??? And the guards? omfg I was dying
  • Meg’s entrance was dramatic and awesome good for her
  • Why the fuck is this 12 year old so good at sword fighting she can keep up with one of the deadliest swordfighters of the ancient world™
  • When Lit threatened Leo and Calypso essentially morphed into the knife emoji on spot. A plus.
  • I mean I’m just saying: I feel like a pregnant griffin isn’t more important than helping a tortured seven year old girl. But I still love Britomartis so I guess it’s whatever
  • I love how Lit was going on like he has a score to settle with Leo because ‘he and his friends’ fucked him up in Oklahoma but like….Leo didn’t contribute to that at all like Jason literally did everything during that fight??? That was kinda like important to Jason’s development and shit??? Leo and Piper were golden statues and Hedge was outside eating grass??? Shouldn’t Lit’s anger be focused on Jason??? lol
  • Idk I just found it funny (I want to see Jason Grace again)
  • Calypso managing to shove out some magic yeah girl!!!!
  • Leo meeting Meg was way too fucking funny omfg “so I understand you can like…control him?” and when Apollo tried denying it she makes him slap himself??? 😂
  • How did we fucking segue from lighthearted banter directly into Apollo having a vivid flashback of the time he had to murder the love of his life with his bare hands
  • Like I??? Was sobbing??? So hard???? Because a batshit insane Roman empire was getting killed by someone who loved him bc it was necessary for the world and the lover couldn’t stand to see anyone else hurt him??? Fuck me???? Rick Riordan ain’t real
  • “I couldn’t bare to look into the water without seeing my beloved’s betrayed face starring back” or whatever the fuck the line was but FUCK
  • Jo was a teenage girl crossdressing to fuck around with gangsters in the 1920′s before Artemis found her and honestly??? Goals
  • Also the scene where she was helping Apollo after his flashback was very sweet
  • Can’t believe the nerd spent like six hours playing soothing music just to get a griffin to lay an egg
  • Leo and Calypso better be whispering amongst themselves what I think they’re whispering
  • Leo seems a lot more…subdued than usual in this book? I don’t know if that’s just because we aren’t reading from his POV, or if it’s like a “I literally died and came back and then spent six months getting attacked every single day while trying to find home and now I’m stuck on another dangerous quest I’m fucking stressed” type thing, or if it could be from the relationship problems he’s having with Calypso, but either way he seems a little off and I’m worried about him
  • The Dread Pirate Valdez…leave.
  • How was that joke never made once on the Argo tho??? lol
  • The speed at which Leo seems to have emotionally adopted Meg is astounding and also #relatable
  • Meg’s far from my favorite character tbh but like??? I will probably punch everyone who’s ever frowned in her general direction in the face. Holy shit give this kid a break
  • She thinks Nero is scared of the mystery third emperor on the West Coast??? So….Caligula, probably? Laying my bets down on him now
  • I triggered the First Law of Percy Jackson” I had to put the book down bc I was laughing so hard I think that lines gonna end up on my gravestone or as the afterword in my autobiography omfg
  • “I’ve always had a phobia of snakes, especially if you included my step-mother Hera. BOOM!” I choked.
  • I like that half the time Apollo is able to figure out what to do to win because he has a general understanding of science
  • Like he knew his burst of godly voice power would only help so much, but he also knew if he stood in the right spot and yelled in the right frequency it would reverberate and knock over the bricks and shit??? NICE
  • How long were these kids wadding through a sewer how do none of them have hypothermia
  • Leo: *sets himself on fire* “Gather round, children.”
  • Like first off someone saying ‘gather round children’ is always going to make me laugh for some reason that’s just a fact but human torching it up really added to the effect lmao
  • Like okay I understand the set up of the room so that no one would look in the canal and see them but like…how the fuck did no one realize they were there that just felt too easy I’m sorry
  • Chia Girl
  • When they found the prisoners was horrifying omfg???
  • The two fucked up boys on a hunger strike???
  • “…Hunter the Hunter?” “Yeah, I’ve never heard that before.”
  • Tall, Dark and Jamie.
  • Apollo babe you’re on a rescue mission with a time crunch please you can check out Jamie later holy shit
  • Georgie made me wanna cry get her back to her Combat Moms immediately
  • The entire sequence of Apollo getting the door open: S C I E N C E  B I T C H
  • “Lemme just fill up some syringes with ammonia just in case”
  • Alright I’ll admit when Meg started insisting she had a feeling they needed to go through the door: I was really worried she was about to double cross him.
  • Glad I was wrong but tbh that whole arena dress rehearsal bullshit was STRESSFULL
  • S T R E S S F U L L
  • First of all: Apollo’s out here constantly complaining about his puny mortal body but manages to fight and climb and run with a heavy ass chair strapped to his back: okay,
  • Second of all: why did no one warn me about Livia the elephant I was on the verge of tears every time he mentioned her
  • Third of all: Monsters, ostriches, race cars, basketballs, football, human mercenaries, animals, like…what even the fuck else SO MUCH WAS GOING ON I would’ve died in ten seconds flat???
  • Fifth of all: THE FUCKING HUNTERS SHOW UP AND CAUSE EVEN M O R E CHAOS. Truly I don’t know how any of the main heroes survived that there was just too much.
  • The entire time I was reading it I was like “This feels like a giant fight at the climax of the book how the fuck are there more pages left what else is going to happen???” AND IM STILL WONDERING THAT LIKE
  • Thalia Grace has been returned to me.
  • Apollo’s strong urge to save Lit??? Okay I guess. It’s nice to see him being compassionate and shit but. I was kinda with Leo on that one lol
  • “Thalia Grace slid behind me on the elephant, which fulfilled one of the fantasies I’d had about the Hunter, although I never quite imagined it playing out like this” M E
  • What was his elephant-involved fantasy with Thalia I need a complete play by play lmao
  • Also the scene where Commodus dropped his composure for a sec and had a full-blown Angry Ex moment (which…he’s definitely entitled to). That was good and also I was highkey worried he might just try to kill my nerd then and there
  • Also that he’s not just mad that Apollo killed him but like. All their fucking history together. Shit’s intense.
  • Apollo loves this elephant so much after only like 15 minutes the first thing he’s gonna do when he’s immortal again is bless her or some shit
  • Also I’m glad they got that awful chainmail off her
  • The Hunters apparently just have a magical energy drink with mercury in it okay
  • Honestly??? I’m a little mad Artemis has been ordered not to contact him THE BOY JUST WANTS TO SEE HIS SISTER HOLY SHIT
  • Aaaaaand that’s about where I left off. Hoping to finish it all together the next time I get a chance. Hoping all the losers are alright. LOVING this book so far. Waiting to see an official reunion between Georgie and her Combat Moms. The Headless Ghost’s cryptic warning has me worried. Until next time…

anonymous asked:

"ok so are they gonna like, get married and retire now and finally give someone else a chance to win gold?" tovesaiko asking the real questions (i laughed SO HARD)

I had that line planned since about three months ago and I’ve been waiting to use it for ages! 。゚(TヮT)゚。

I Saw Jupiter Ascending

It was a bad, bad, bad movie. I LOVED EVERY MOMENT OF IT. 

(This is a mostly non-spoilery review.)

Jupiter Ascending was the kind of terrible that you buy on Blu-ray and cherish frequently with entire bottles of wine.

The script is bad. The chemistry is abysmal. (The romantic leads basically monologue their feelings at each other in between the worst attempts at flirting EVER.) The plot is absolute nonsense. The characters are tropes. But everything is so ambitious and beautiful that I loved every ludicrous second.

Shout out to Eddie Redmayne, who clearly knew he was in a beautifully polished turd of a movie. He is so unbelievably campy in his role that I spent his entire screen duration with my hands clutching my face. Imagine if someone crossed Emperor Palpatine with Jareth the Goblin King. That’s his character.

Shout out to Channing Tatum,  who completely committed to “albino wolfman intergalactic mercenary on space rollerblades, sure, why not?” And that’s not even spoiling another part of his identity that is frankly 100% straight outta the imaginations of preteens. People talk a lot of shit about Channing Tatum, but I'mma tell you something: he went for it. He treated his script about as seriously as he could have and I respect the hell out of him for it.

Shout out to Mila Kunis who had the good sense to know that in a script that bad, the best option was to not over-emote. She’s essentially playing Mila Kunis in Space, which is frankly the only way this character could possibly work even a little. I am like 75% sure she read the script and was like, “so, I get to wear couture space gowns, yeah?” and when they said yes, she was like “SOLD." 

Shout out to "I love dogs.” I haven’t laughed so hard at a line in a movie in a long, long time. 

Shout out to the costume design, production design, hair, and makeup teams: you guys deserve all the awards. No lies, no shade. 100% forreals.

Shout out to the Wachowskis. Keep smoking whatever it is that you are so clearly smoking.

There is a dress in this movie that will be to this generation what the Labyrinth ballroom dress was to mine. Utterly astonishing. I literally had to ask my husband what happened in that scene because I was too busy staring, mouth agape, at the dress. And the makeup. And the headpiece. (There is also a Wachowski-take on the Dark Lily dress from Legend. So.)

Shout out to a dude in my row who thought he could hide a loud fart during an action sequence, only to have the scene suddenly change. In perfect space silence, the whole theater heard his ass trumpet clear as a bell. I laughed so hard, my soul ascended to Jupiter.

Oh god, this needs to be a franchise. I agree with other reviews that say in this film, world-building trumped any semblance of coherent storytelling or competent conclusion. I can only imagine how much better it would be if there was an extra ½ hour of character development in the place of one less action sequence. It’s about five different movies crammed into one. Three of those different movies take place in the first ten minutes of screentime. But I DON’T EVEN CARE. 

Tl;dr– this is going to be a cult movie, for sure. It is terrible, terrible, terrible. It also filled me with two hours of pure, childlike glee. I WANT MORE.


Whose Line is it Anyway: Song Styles: Rocky Horror

He comes up with a melody of the rocky horror picture show soundtrack while singing about a coffee grinder…

I was totally looking for something else and came across this…

Happy Wednesday :)