hi please read + im sorry

Hey im baku and im sorry for making this post but I start college in september and I dont have money for anything. This is my third year (I live in the uk) so this is my last chance to get education, as my first two years were ruined bcos of my mental health.

I need clothes and I need supplies, I come from an incredibly poor family and sometimes I struggle to just buy food. I dont want a lot, but I just want some clothes that dont have holes in and that fit me, as most of my clothes i have are 2-3 years old and make me horrifically dysphoric/miserable to just wear- and I really want to be able to buy my books and some stationary for this year so I can do well.

TL;DR I have one last shot at education because my mental health ruined the first two and I desperately want to make this year a good one, but I can’t afford any clothes and supplies and at this rate I may not be able to go back. I need some donations/help.

I dont have a bank account of my own so I have to borrow a family members paypal, so please inbox me for the email so you can donate. Even $5 will help, please dont put yourself at a disadvantage, please just give what you can or just reblog this to help. Thank you.

shoutout to you

look at you. look how far you’ve come. take a moment to reflect:

you were born, you grew up, you developed emotions, you went to school, you learned how to read, you learned how to write, you learned how to love, even if just a little. you’re doing great. you’ve come so far. keep going. smile to yourself. yes you. do it right now. i don’t care where you are or how you feel right now. smile to yourself. i don’t care if you’re around other people right now and they will judge you if you smile, because at least you’ll look happy. you can do it. you can get through whatever you’re going through, and you’ll climb up out of this seemingly bottomless hole, which i promise, it is NOT bottomless. you will climb up a little, and then your muscles will ache and you will fall. but next time you try climbing, your muscles will be stronger. and once you’re out of the hole, you will be so much stronger than the people around you that werent in holes as deep as yours. and then, you can start climbing. you can keep climbing, because you’re so strong, and you’ll climb higher than you ever imagined.

i believe in you.

anonymous asked:

What do you think of Deaf Courfeyrac and Video Relay Combeferre? (AKA, the one who translates speeches and news programs to sign language)

Okay, my understanding of all this isn’t necessarily the best and there’s really only so much research I can do at midnight, so please be kind. Anyways, my first thought was the sort of VRS stuff you get with a phone service?  Like where Person A is d/Deaf and speaks over camera through an interpreter to Person B who’s hearing.

A(speaking English) <—-> C (speaks both, interpreting) <—–> B (speaking ASL, has a camera and a screen so that they can see C and C can see them)

So in this case we have Person B as Courf, and Person C as Combeferre.

Now – this actually made me laugh so hard when I first saw it?? Because the thought of how this goes from “professional, disconnected strangers” to actual friends is just beautiful.

Like this is Combeferre’s job.  He is good at it.  He – is – professional.  He loves the very real challenge of getting up every day, going into a completely new, random situation, and needing to translate two completely different languages in real time so that they maintain nuances and the conversation can be successfully carried out between two people.  Sometimes it’s bizarre or exciting or unsettling, though often, when it comes to the conversations themselves, it’s sort of dull.  And maybe today has been exceptionally dull.

He relayed one conversation that was basically twenty minutes of two people discussing how much the other’s children have grown.  One was about a very unfortunately placed rash that someone has.  One involved an older hearing person who Combeferre really wished knew ASL because her hearing was going and he ended up needing to repeat the same recipe for oatmeal-raisin cookies to her about four times. He is genuinely going out of his mind with boredom and all he can think about is the book in his bag which he really wants to take out and read.  

Then he gets connected onto another call.  And suddenly he has this face full of a quite young, quite attractive young man with this huge, dimpled smile and curly hair and really gorgeous eyes.

But Combeferre is a professional.  So he tells himself.

And he’s waiting for this discussion to be, oh I don’t know, talking to his mom about who’s turn it is to take the dog out, or about homework, or something equally dull because that has been his day. Instead the hearing person on the other line sounds like they’re voice is literally made out of fire and they start having this intensely passionate political debate and it’s all Combeferre can do to stay detached and professional and relay the message without putting his two bits in.  It is easily the most fun call he’s had all day – probably all week – because his Deaf client (called Courfeyrac by the hearing one who answers to Enjolras ) has just the most beautiful speech, he talks with his entire body so enthusiastically he’s repeatedly nearly throwing himself out of his chair, and Combeferre is genuinely loving trying to interpret for the man called Enjolras because he speaks so passionately that it feels like it takes all of Combeferre’s energy to properly translate it.

(Also, brief interlude: imagine Combeferre trying to pronounced Enjolras’ name when Courf finger-spells it at him.  Or imagine him trying to figure out how the fuck you spell “Courfyerac” when Enjolras says it – are there protocols for that?  Or is it the Starbucks’ cross-your-fingers-hope-it’s-right method?)

And yeah, despite everything else Combeferre ends that day very happily. He goes home that evening still thinking about Courfyerac, and even finds himself looking up some of the topics him and Enjolras were talking about later that evening instead of reading more of his novel.

Still, it was a one time thing, it was fun, but like any other job it passes and he moves on to new conversations between new people.

Until all of a sudden he’s faced with Courfeyrac fiddling with his camera again.  This time it’s not Enjolras he’s talking to but a man called Feuilly and they’re trying to make plans for a rally they’re apparently having soon and once again Combeferre is completely enraptured.

And that could have been called a coincidence, until, a few weeks later, he connects to another call and is once again faced with Courfeyrac. And once again has to dredge of every little bit of his schooling and experience to stay professional. Because holy shit Courfeyrac is actually the cutest boy to ever sit in front of a camera.  And once again he goes home and fucking daydreams about this random client and his wonderful views on politics and how clever he is and how charming he is and how Combeferre really, really, really wants to actually talk to him, not just relay someone else’s words to him from the other side of a screen.

And then it happens a fourth time, and Combeferre has a complicated relationship with religion but in this moment he is now certain that some sort of greater being exists because it or he or they are clearly trying to torment him at this point.  Except this time he’s on a late shift, and he’s tired as fuck and has been chugging coffee like it’s water, and Courfeyrac has called up a person called Grantaire.  Grantaire is not a fun person to interpret for because he seems to write a novel just to say a sentence and laces that novel very heavily with obscure metaphors and references.  He is also a wonderful person to interpret for because he has a fiendishly clever sense of humour that has Combeferre’s lips twitching in amusement.  But jokes and puns do not translate easily, especially from ASL where puns are physical.  So, exhausted and amused and just thrilled to see Courfeyrac again, when Courf tries to tell Grantaire a particularly bad joke that he’s desperately trying to figure out how to translate, he can’t help it, he cracks.  He just doubles over and starts howling with laughter because good lord that was so terrible it was actually the worst joke he has ever heard and that does it he is absolutely in love.

When he’s finally able to compose himself again (and feeling awful, shit shit shit, that was really unprofessional, he is not supposed to do that, he’s not supposed to be involved in the conversation, not if it involves interesting politics or bad jokes or even cute boys) he straightens and just sees Courfeyrac grinning at him so hard it has his eyes all crinkled up – it may be the only smile in the world that can truly and accurately be described as beaming.  It’s like the sun.

And then Courfeyrac signs So this is probably super weird but I’m pretty sure I’ve had you do some of my other calls before and you probably don’t remember me at all but can we get coffee sometime? Please??  Except, shit, I don’t know where you live.  Cyber coffee? We could sit in our own houses and Skype drink coffee?

(They Skype drink coffee together two days later.)

(also: Courf definitely noticed the really cute VRS operator he kept getting connected to because he’s never seen anyone manage to sign Enjolras’ speech quite that well.  Plus, he keeps getting this little crease above his eyes like he’s genuinely thinking about what they’re talking about, or his mouth’ll quirk a little at the jokes like he’s trying really hard not to laugh and dang it Courf really wishes there was some way he could just break the fourth wall and make this operator talk because he really looks like he has something to say and Courf really want to hear it.

When he got that last call with Ferre, it was because he’d convinced R to join him in his VRS operator hunt which basically involved him repeatedly calling and hanging up until he found the right one, and then being a sarcastic little shit with R since the interpreter seemed to be a sucker for clever jokes and Courf will break him.)

I bet Tony Stark sets up foundations for the people he loves. Like, he’s at a meeting for the Maria Stark Foundation that Pepper LITERALLY handcuffed him to the table for (shit he really needs to start using hairpins or something) and suddenly it comes to him

THE PEPPER POTTS FOUNDATION FOR THE ARTS. Dedicated to art scholarships and grants

Pepper is flustered and touched and tells him that it’s brilliant. But also that he should DEFINITELY stop calling it the “PP foundation” because for heaven’s sake Tony don’t you listen to what comes out of your own mouth? You can hear that can’t you?

(Tony snickers. peepee foundation)

and then Tony latches onto the idea with all the vigor of a sugar-addled toddler who has just gotten a toy that they will DEFINITELY swallow but will be damned if they let anyone take it away from them

The Rhodey Foundation basically just pours money into the VA to revamp their systems and help them fight whatever issue of the day needs championing

The Steve Rogers Foundation which helps fill in the cracks that the GI Bill leaves. Because everyone should be able to come back to something

The Sam Wilson Fund that helps the families of fallen soldiers

The Bucky Barnes Foundation, dedicated to spreading awareness of PTSD and getting sufferers the help they need. Gives generously also to groups working on making 3-D prosthetics available to everyone

The Natalie Rushman Houses, a system of shelters dedicated to helping former human trafficking victims

The Bruce Banner Foundation, dedicated to eliminating domestic violence

The HULK SMASH CLIMATE CHANGE Foundation (Pepper had to veto “making the world as green as our little rage monster!” as a slogan)

The Center for Stupid Breakable Humans Who Don’t Even Have A Cool Suit To Protect Them, Honestly What The Heck Dude. Aka, the Barton Center for Free Physical Therapy

The HawkEARS campaign, designed to make schools and work places more disability friendly. Whether that’s by calling the names who refuse to comply to ADA standards mean names on TMZ (”TONY”), or straight up building ramps

Thor gets a line of shampoo because he mentions to Tony that all of Tony’s wealth would buy him about a sack of potatoes on Asgard, and Thor is the PRINCE of Asgard. Tony is VERY MIFFED. BUY YOUR OWN STUPID POTATO FOUNDATION THOR

(He makes a Jane Foster Foundation dedicated to decreasing gender inequality in STEM)

he of course does not tell anyone that he’s making these foundations/funds/centers/etc until they’re all set up and he can ‘casually’ mention “oh yeah, the foundation gala is tonight and they’ll probably want you there since it’s your fund’ and drop a flier that has their face plastered ALL OVER IT in front of them. Then he stares at them gaping and gets all aggressively defensive about this incredibly weird form of attempting to make a connection like “WHAT, YOU THINK I CAN’T CARE ABOUT VETERANS WITHOUT YOU HERE?? I COULD HAVE TOTALLY CREATED THIS FUND AT ANY TIME, WHATEVER, I AM JUST SO THOUGHTFUL I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT WANNA SHOW UP. WHATEVER. NOT LIKE I CARE” and then acting super flippant about it when the person tries to thank them (”pshhh, I just needed some more tax deductibles. Charities are those things right?”) or sulking if (in Natasha and Bucky’s case) they don’t really react except to twitch slightly because WHAT THE WHAT (if you don’t know the right way to react it’s safer to have no reaction, they’ve both learned that. he taught her that)

basically Tony just throwing money into these foundations that he thinks will make his friends happy, or his friends of friends, while pretending to not care at all whether they approve of the topic that he chose because he’s Tony Stark and that’s how he rolls

YO! Leo’s freestyle rap 🎶 © Vember

anonymous asked:

I'm having trouble convincing myself I'm able to do.. well pretty much anything. do you have any advice for people with really bad self esteem?

its a real process trying to correct low self-esteem, and I’ll actually talk about this at length because tbh I know a nice response is to be like “you’re wonderful and beautiful and hella” and you are, but I know that those kind of words had little effect on me when my self-esteem was at its lowest. 

if you actually want some tips to put into practice, then I’ll ramble on for a bit here. first and foremost, from my experience, the best way to start is to make sure you’re not surrounded by assholes. 

friends or relatives who make you feel like you’re annoying, or a burden, who you feel restricted around or as though you can’t open up or be yourself around without judgement, or who generally make you feel terrible or are exhausting to be around are definitely people you don’t want in your life.  and they can really wear you down. so please try and remove yourself from people like that, and make sure you have loving, welcoming friends who make you happy and make you feel valued.

secondly, it sounds like an annoying cliche and I don’t use this as a cure for everything but taking care of yourself is important. eat well, go for walks or do any form of exercise regularly, drink water, keep your space clean and de-cluttered, and make sure you are getting some of your responsibilities and chores done, because the stagnation and guilt from avoiding these things or falling into a slump can contribute to poor self-image. and this goes without saying that if you become clinically depressed or highly stressed or anxious, then you should look into counselling/therapy if it’s viable.   

but I think the most important thing to help with low self-esteem is self-correcting and readjusting negative thinking patterns. by that I don’t mean just not thinking “everything is shit” or “I’m a shitty person”; it’s about how you perceive what happens to you as well. often people with low self-esteem have been conditioned by bad past experiences into perceiving life with what’s called cognitive distortions. I’m not going to talk about all of them, but you can see a more detailed list here. I’ll just talk about some that I think really sink people into having low self-esteem;  

- filtering (focusing on the negatives)

focusing more on insults or negative comments instead of appreciating or magnifying the positive, and the compliments we receive. this is one I’ve had to learn. I could have lots of people say lovely things to me, but if someone says something negative then I dwell on it to the exclusion of all those compliments. why the FUCK would I do that? it’s ridiculous. so please always remember that it is impossible to have everyone like you and that someone is always going to have something bad to say about you. this doesn’t make it true, and their opinion does not define you. 

- black and white thinking

this is when you believe that if you’re not perfect, then you’re a failure. it doesn’t acknowledge the context or circumstances of situations in which you didn’t succeed or didn’t do as well as you’d hoped. you’re not a failure of a person just for one mistake or poor performance. you’re not a failure because someone turns you down for a date. you’re not a failure because you didn’t get an A. you’re not a failure because you ate an entire chocolate cake while trying to diet (kinda impressive tbh). 

the reality is: you didn’t do as well as you’d hoped in a particular situation; this does not doom you to repeated failures and doesn’t define your entire character. if you believe it does, it’s almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy because you’ll avoid situations where you might fail thus you’re more likely to fail, or you resign yourself to failure and you don’t try. it sounds corny, but honestly every damn moment is an opportunity to change and try again and do better next time. 

- over-generalization

if something bad happens once or twice, we assume that it is ALWAYS going to happen. this can lead you to believe that a one-off mistake or bad incident is always going to happen to you, rather than acknowledging one bad thing happened on this particular occasion. ie. “I failed my test, I’m just really terrible at studying and I’ll never graduate” when it really should be “I failed this test; next time if I study harder or try something different then I’ll pass the next one and graduate” 

- jumping to conclusions

this one is really common, and I used to do this all the time back in the day and it made me fucking miserable and anxious. it’s when you assume someone’s behaviour or attitude is a result of you being unlikable or them having a problem with you; ie. “oh my partner isn’t as affectionate at the moment or my friend was kind of quiet tonight; it must be because they’re mad at me or don’t like me as much.” it ignores all other explanations for those behaviours which could be a number of things like mood, their own circumstances like family issues, job stress, their health, maybe they’re just feeling like crap. 

it’s better for your well-being, more reasonable and realistic to trust that if they have a problem with you, they’ll tell you about it. beyond that; don’t ever assume everyone’s behaviour is because of you because 95% of the time, it’s not. and if they’re a good friend/fam who engage in healthy behaviour with you, then they will communicate any issues they might have with you. and sometimes they can’t do that if they’re uncomfortable sharing that information, but that is their prerogative, it doesn’t mean they have a problem with you personally.   

- catastrophizing

always expecting the worst to happen or blowing seemingly basic mistakes or situations out of proportion. anxiety can really exacerbate this one, but it’s always important to try and put things in perspective. nothing is as bad as it seems and tbh when something shitty happens, I just try and tell myself, “in a few months or a year I’ll totally be laughing about this situation. or I’ll have forgotten it”. most things can always be fixed, and it’s not the end of the world. 

- personalization

personalization is kind of similar to jumping to conclusions. it’s the false belief that most, if not all, bad interpersonal events or negative reactions are a direct result of you or something you’ve said or done.

I’ve found one of the best ways to combat these thoughts is to think “if my friend told me that they thought this situation/reaction was all their fault, would I think it’s reasonable to tell them they’re right? that they’re to blame?” the answer is almost always no. so treat yourself with as much respect and reason. stop blaming yourself for everything.  

- emotional reasoning

just because you feel a particular way does not make it a fact. your feelings are always valid in the sense that you have a right to feel a certain way and work through those feelings, but you do NOT have to make them fact. just because you feel like you’re a failure or that you’re boring or that you have no worth does not make it a fact and it does not mean that everyone else see’s it that way either. 

- global labeling (this one is important)

often people globalize their judgments of themselves. this is kind of similar to overgeneralizing, like believing “I’m unlovable and unattractive” if someone turns you down for a date. if you localize that language and actually acknowledge the reality of that situation, you’d believe “this particular guy isn’t interested in dating me.” you know? it’s one guy, not the entire world, and definitely not the defining judgement of your self worth. 

anyway, sorry that was so long. I just know how hard it can be trying to rebuild your self-esteem. just remember to surround yourself with loving people who make you feel valued, take care of yourself and your responsibilities, and try and correct any generalizing negative thoughts; stop blaming yourself for everything, don’t assume so much, try to take things more at face value. 

I hope you feel better!!


GD & TOP off the record

**updated with clear fancam

Hey American tumblr: everywhere else in the world, culture has nothing to do with anybody’s race. Stop acting like a person’s race dictates what culture they are a part of.

Culture is a product of the society one resides in, and the societal norms prevalent in that society. That’s why moving to a new area often results in a cultural shift or assimilation; because the new person is integrating into the new culture. Because culture is the product of your surrounding society’s lifestyle.

Claiming that culture is only based on skin color is racist and degrading to the culture.

Culture is so much more than a person’s skin color. Stop pretending that race is the only important aspect of the cultures you claim you’re protecting.

Just because America has enormous cultural and societal rifts based on race doesn’t mean the rest of the world experiences this. Most everybody else is pretty cool with people of all races sharing cultures amount each other.