i-just...-i-have-a-lot-of-*feelings*-okay

Kailaystan’s First Follow Forever!

So I reached 400 followers why do you even follow me I’m not amazing! I’ve legit only had this blog a month and I shouldn’t even be here (someone failed to warn me about EXO being clingy)… I hope this graphic is adequate because I’m not even a graphics blog. :3 Thanks for following my sometimes random ways and high outbursts of laughter and torturous scenarios.. And my followers, I see you and I read your tags and you make me laugh, you’re amazing! I don’t have a lot of words because I suck at expressing my feelings and it just makes me feel weird but, ugh, I love you all and everything!

italics - senpais

bold - mutuals

starred ★ - i’m not even gonna say anything just let me hug you okay

Follow 5ever…

A-M

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Alright. Here goes. Most of you have been asking my whereabouts the past week and if Iโ€™m okay, so I decided to explain myself. I received wonderful messages from wonderful people and now that my whole ordeal is done, I dont mind too much talking about it.

Keep reading

I had to remind myself this morning to have a good day because I know Portland is in my future and my life won’t always feel like this. I have a LOT of support from Vero though and it makes all of this worth it and easier to navigate. I’m daydreaming too often and staring at my computer screen at work wishing I were somewhere else. I’m not depressed though. Just have an all around feeling of meh and looking forward to next year. 

I’m starting to slowly be okay with how things have unfolded in the past month or so. Vague sentence is vague. Whatever. 

Wow cool

FIRST, I’ve been dreading this art history class i have to take this month… But i just got the course shell and it has not a lot of assignments (bless 🙏) and the final paper seems so awesome. Theres like 10 possible topics and like 4 sounds super cool. I think I’m going to do the varying interpretations of the human body through art in 5 different eras. Like okay that sounds cool? (Any art peeps feel free to send me ideas if you have any that i can look into!) V much appreciated Professor.

SECOND, my capstone course shell uploaded and is pretty legit. I start my hours at the shelter tomorrow! 😄

THIRD, I have a family friend helping me get a job at another shelter. If this workouts out i could potentially move out of my parents house, and have a big girl job in my career field. 😭

I have received dozens of messages expressing condolences, love and support from people after sharing that I lost my pregnancy, but I haven’t really responded to many yet. I am very, very grateful for all of them, every little note, and no one needs to worry about being inappropriate by wanting to send me a note. (I know it’s awkward and some people don’t know what to say - you’re fine. You won’t upset me by speaking from your heart, if you feel like you want to say something but feel nervous. I promise.) I just wanted to make a quick update and say I’m doing okay - the reason I haven’t responded much is because my local friends have been here a lot, keeping an eye on me and keeping me busy. Which is awesome of them. We are just really happy to be in a home where we can have our friends over and be able to have some much needed time with them.

Assorted things:

  • We finally bought a car! We ended up going with a used Mazda 3 that’s a couple of years old. The buying process wasn’t ideal, and it was very frustrating to N to feel like he didn’t have a choice due to the supply problems with the Fit. I’m just glad that the process is almost over and we’ll have our own car again.
  • Today I am feeling especially grumpy about all the delicious things I can’t eat. Grump grump grump. For the most part it’s been pretty much okay transitioning to gluten-free, but sometimes you just want a regular old goddamn food, you know?
  • Turns out that letting Sister M do flips on our bed was not good for the health and stability of our bed, and it’s broken again. For some reason the center legs (it’s a king so it has a lot of legs for support) keep wiggling/falling off. Time to haphazardly nail the legs back on again, I guess. 
  • It stopped raining, at least, but I’m not particularly interested in seeing the fireworks. We went a couple of years ago and it wasn’t particularly interesting. It’s just such a hassle to get there, and there are bugs, and traffic coming out is atrocious.

anonymous asked:

hi! what's emmerdale and should i watch and i am confused. is it a soap opera?

Hiya love!

Yep, Emmerdale is a British soap and I definitely think you should watch it! Obviously with it being a soap its impossible to catch up on everything seeing as it has been going on for yeeeaaars and its on every day of the week.

As you’ve probably noticed I reblog a lot of two guys, Aaron and Robert (AKA Robron) and you can find their storyline in quite a lot of places that I would 100% recommend watching. The lovely stulot has uploaded (half) monthly long videos of all Robron scenes on Dailymotion which is a perfect places to start and would be super easy to catch up with. You can also find storylines of other characters on YouTube if you want to get an even better background of the show in recent years like the Coira (Cain and Moira) storyline or the Barton boys storyline. 

It can seem daunting, but I promise you do pick it up as you go along. I started watching the show blind too and I know a large majority of this fanbase did too, so you’ll be fine I promise :))

I definitely think you should watch it, if not all of it then at least the Robron storyline because THEY ARE ONE OF THE GREATEST COUPLES ON TV RIGHT NOW. It is anything but your typical gay couple storyline, there’s so much drama and angst (and I mean so much, please prepare yourself for pain). The chemistry between the actors is just, ugh the show really struck gold with them, you can’t force that kind of chemistry, its got to happen naturally. If you’re into heartbreaking but beautiful and life-overtaking ships robron is definitely for you!

Added bonus: the tumblr Robron/Emmerdale fandom is one of the greatest fandoms and every single person would welcome you with open arms because everyone is so damn lovely (ironic for a ship with so much pain really ;D) 

THINGS YOU SHOULDN’T DO

UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD YOU IMAGINE YOUR OTP GOING FOR A KAYAKING TRIP DOWN A RIVER OR AROUND A LAKE. WHO WOULD BE THE STRANGELY COMPETITIVE ONE? WHO WOULD SNEAK A SQUIRT GUN INTO THEIR KAYAK AND GET THE OTHER WHEN THEY LEAST EXPECT IT? WHO WOULD INITIATE SIDE-WAY KAYAK KISSES AND THEN TRY TIPPING THE OTHER INTO THE WATER? WHO WOULD TIP THEIR KAYAK ACCIDENTALLY LIKE 20593359 TIMES BECAUSE BALANCE? JUST. DON’T. P I C T U R E  I T. DON’T PICTURE THE CUTE KAYAKING BABES.

anonymous asked:

I'm an introvert too and I struggle with wanting to be social and being content enjoying my own company. Do you ever feel that way? Or do you have a lot of friends that you hang out with regularly despite being an introvert? I have casual friends at work but I don't hang out with anyone outside or work or school and most of the time I'm okay with it, but them sometimes I feel lonely. I was just wondering if you could relate at all.

I think I understand where your coming from, though my own experience has been different due to different circumstances.  I don’t think I’ve ever been without at least a few close friends who I can hang around with, I have close family, and I’ve gotten to know people really well on the internet, so I don’t feel lonely all that often.  If I didn’t have that, though, I imagine that I’d feel lonely sometimes, too.

On the other hand, I have a bad habit of losing touch with people and missing them but not being sure how to reconnect.  =/

Okay. I know the header and avatar are undone, but I am working on this blog.

I just realised that I am alone in dark crying (seriously, how miserable I am?) because of Birgitte and spamming my friends about her (they don’t even like her. There’s only one who has seen pp2 and okay she likes her a lot.).
But still, I feel like I’m alone with these too big feelings about her (I MEAN JUST LOOK AT HER. HOW BEAUTIFUL SOMEBODY CAN BE?) so I decided now I have this place to spam with my edits, pics and fics. Yup, I am trying to write becommissar (smut hopefully), even English isn’t my native language so it’s pretty challenging for me.

So, I hope nobody eats me (or even bite) because I am just confused little fangirl in huge Tumblr

anonymous asked:

I have a chronic illness And I've had depression and anxiety from it and today was rough me and my mom were talking and I think I said I just always think I cause issues because of my illness and wonder what if I wasn't here I'm not suicidal at all I just kinda felt worthless and when I said it my mom started crying and just reassured me but I feel bad now because I didn't want to make her upset it's just my depression that makes me feel like that now I just want to cry because I feel so bad

*HUGS*

It’s okay bby.  Listen, I know your illness makes you feel that way, but you have to remember it’s not true.  You have worth, you are beautiful, you mean something to lots of people.  Your existence is necessary.  There was a reason you were born, and maybe you haven’t figured out your purpose yet, but THERE IS ONE.  Never ever ever think that way.  Don’t let your illness get the best of you.  Talking to your parents/trusted friends/trusted people is a very good step.  I’m proud of you for talking about it.  I know that what you said may have upset your mom but the reason why that is is because SHE LOVES YOU.  You have to realize that she wouldn’t have reacted that way if she didn’t care boatloads about you.  Now her getting upset makes you feel bad.  That’s human reaction: when someone you love is upset you get upset too.  That means you care a lot about your mom.  Your illness makes everything hard, and you have to remember that you are NOT worthless, or a burden, or otherwise.  You are important and you need to stand up and conquer that illness.

I’m assuming you’re seeing a doctor, right?  If you’re not PLEASE get help.  (Considering your mom’s reaction, I’m sure she would help you if you don’t want to do it alone.)  If you are already seeing a doctor, and you’re still feeling this way, perhaps they could give you meds or change the dosage or something?  If you are on meds you should not continue to feel this way, so perhaps the dosage or something else needs to be changed to fix it.  Please get help because people love you and you’re worth it. 

Stay strong, we love you <3

Okay let’s talk about art a little.

I’ve gotten some criticisms (and complaints) and was linked to some websites/art forums/other forums where others had strong opinions about my art style, so I feel like a little explaining is in order !


  • “Maryne’s art is too child-like/all characters looks the same”

True and true. 

But I have to point out that it’s part of a trick that a lot of artists, especially on the internet, use all the time. 

“Sacrificing quality for quantity”

Most of you know me by now, and know how invested I am on social medias and how often I post very long or short comics and basic illustrations. 

My posting pace is one of the reason why this blog works, and this blog working means publicity, which is super important for an artist. But you also know that I have a job and a life of my own, and while I’m a lot on tumblr (working, tumbling and watching shows at the same time is a skill of mine), drawing for it is a thing I only do on my free time.

Summary: I gotta post a lot, and I gotta do it fast!

So while most of my art looks like that:

When it comes to my job or serious personal projects, it looks a little more like that:

10 minutes against 45 minutes.

(Also note that it’s traditional art = scanning + cleaning takes tiiiime and you can’t correct your mistakes)

When people expect a 30 panels long comic for tumblr and I have to do it on my free time, you understand why I choose the first option (although it’s usually a little bit better looking than that :’)).

So, I could post “adult looking” art, but then I’d have to post only 2 or 3 things per weeks instead of 6 or 7. 

I do understand how off putting it can be when I draw NSFW stuff, though. I’ll remember that and take extra care and time into NSFW pieces from now on (so of course, expect less of them).

                                                  ~

  • “Her angst is weak and she tries too hard”

This is actually true, especially for the “Where is Carmilla” one. I was new to the fandom when I posted “How is Laura”, and it was linked to a tragic event on the actual show, meaning: I had the element of surprise, hence why it worked so well. After that, everyone expected me to do another and another and another, but all the effect was lost + telling that big of a story in only 30 panels didn’t work, and to be honest I didn’t have the time or energy to add 30 other panels. Same for “Who is Angie”.

The “Perry is grounded” one was clearly just a joke so it doesn’t really matter.

While I feel sad when I read things like “her storytelling is shitty”, I do understand where it comes from but also know that you guys can’t really judge that by the work I post on tumblr. But I do get it and hope that one day you’ll hold one of my personal graphic novels and give me an honest judgement :)

                                                ~

  • “She does a lot of english mistakes”

I am french guys HAVE MERCY. Hell, there must be like 40 on this post alone. But I’ll make sure to find a beta among my english speakers friends, if it can make you all enjoy my work a little better! :)

                                                 ~

  • “Her characters doesn’t look like the characters”

That’s not how things works, everyone has their own style and while I could make them actors-like, I just don’t want to.

                                                 ~

I think I got everything.. the rest of what I’ve seen isn’t worth talking about.

IMPORTANT:

All of this is not me being bitter, I do enjoy criticism when it’s actually helpful and intelligent, which from what I’ve read, it was, most of the time. Criticism leads to amelioration and while some things were just gratuitously mean, some other things were helpful :)

All of that to say, I’ll never stop trying to be better, either for my personal work or for you all in here. Also you are all the best, thanks for sticking with me and my antics.

- Maryne

Have a little faith clone club.

Guys, I know, I KNOW. This sucks. And we have to wait NINE MONTHS to really understand why this happened and what is really going on. And it’s okay to be pissed and sad and angry and all of those things. Whatever you are feeling right now, it’s okay. This is a fresh wound and it’s going to hurt for a while, don’t let anyone tell you differently or make you feel bad about mourning a fictional character. But please, Have a little faith in the writers, you guys. Okay? Please don’t spend the first half of this hiatus shitting on them, being pissed at them, and claiming you will never watch the show again.

Remember this time last year? Remember when everyone was FREAKING THE FUCK OUT about Castor. About “male” clones (*cough* tony is a male clone too *cough*) . People were pissed, they said Castor would ruin the show and pull the story away from Leda. That this was just another show that wanted to bring more men into it because “misogyny” and “typical male writers” and all that bullshit. And look what happened. Castor ENHANCED Leda and the overall story of the show. They didn’t pull focus, and hardly introduced any new IMPORTANT male ACTORS, and by the end of the season, it looks like only 2 of the Castor clones we know are still alive. 

Also, keep in mind a couple of things. Evelyne is on another show where she is a main character. Actors have to make choices for their career and they can’t do EVERYTHING! That being said, if Delphine ISN’T dead (which is what I personally suspect) this may have been done to reduce her story so she COULD still be involved on the show. Regardless of whether she is alive or dead this is not a decision they took lightly. Her story this season was complex and diverse and revealing and basically everything an actor could want. Complexity is the greatest gift the writers of this show give to their characters and we have been lucky to have Delphine for the length of time that we have. Her character development has been beautiful and Evelyne is unbelievably talented and has given so much to this show and this story. Sooo IF she is gone, we need to think about the good, okay? 

Personally, I am choosing to be optimistic. It is a lot easier than giving myself an ulcer worrying and fretting and freaking out for nine months. You may say I am just deep in the ballpit but I am honestly trying to think logically about this.

 Also, do yourselves a favor and look at some of the post season one interviews. “I hated killing Helena.” “I am going to miss Helena, a lot.” “R.I.P Helena.”  Or go and watch the interview where Tat acted surprised and excited about the idea of a trans clone and blatantly said that would probably be too hard but she would love it. SHE WAS ALREADY WORKING ON TONY! She lied. Everyone lied. THEY LIE BECAUSE IT KEEPS IT INTERESTING!

This is what good television is. This is what good writers do. They make you love and care about their characters and they leave you worried and wondering about their fate. This is what this show is about. If EVERYONE was happy at the end of the season, if no one’s life was threatened, in serious danger, or potentially lost, then we would have no reason to come back in nine months to see what happened to these characters that have become such an important part of our lives.

Just, please, BREATHE, Clone Club, BREATHE! Let yourself feel what you are feeling right now. Lean on each other in this tough time. But TRY to think of the bigger picture. Try to think positive. And, if you can, try to be blindly optimistic, it’s kind of working for me right meow… I’ve said it before and I will say it again:

They ain’t dead until they are buried, burned up, or blown to bits.

[150623] Chanyeol, Jongdae, & Sehun @ SBS POWER FM 107.7

What is the ‘point’ in your fashion?

[Choi Hwajung said that the three of them were picked for today’s show because they have the best fashion in EXO]

OSH: This is my first time.. no, maybe third or fourth time wearing glasses since debut. But I wore them because I was coming out here today. I like simple clothes/fashion.

KJD: It changes everyday, with the weather and how I feel that day.

PCY: I don’t really have a point. I just open my closet and think ‘oh, this looks okay.’ I don’t put a lot of thought into it.

Are there any fun episodes from your Thailand concerts?

PCY: Me and Sehun got massages together while we were there. Sehun said it was refreshing, but it hurt for mea lot so I was very jealous of Sehun. I tried to tell them it hurt but I can’t speak Thai and I’m not good at English so I started yelling out “ah, ah, ah!” but the person just laughed.

[Chen didn’t get a massage. He said that whenever he’s gotten a massage before, he has never felt refreshed while getting a massage. He is more comfortable resting him by himself.]

Who do you want to go on vacation with?

PCY: I don’t usually play well with Sehun, but if you look at recent pictures, we’ve been hanging out a lot. When we were younger/trainees, we used to go around together a lot and I’ve been thinking about it a lot now. I used to like D.O but now we’re not really close because of D.O’s schedule (he’s always busy). I think it would be fun wherever we (CY & SH) go because we’re both loud and talkative.

OSH: If we were going to rest, Jongdae hyung.. ah, Chen hyung. If we were going to play and have fun, Suho hyung.

KJD: Xiumin hyung. If I go with Sehun, it’d be a lot of fun but he requires a lot of work. It’d be hard b/c I’d have to really take care of him. 

OSH: Jongdae hyung is very romantic (style), so I personally like him a lot.

Who are the fastest and slowest members in the chat?

PCY: I think I’m probably the fastest because I’m addicted to my smartphone. I always have it in my hand.

OSH: I think Suho hyung is the slowest.

KJD: No, Suho hyung is pretty fast too~

PCY: It’s different for every member~ for me, Sehun and Baekhyun, we joke and talk a lot. Suho hyung, too. D.O & Lay hyung only write when needed, like ‘okay’ and ‘what schedule do we have.’ Kai checks every 6 hours and doesn’t reply, only sees if anything is going on.

What was the last thing you bought online?

PCY: I don’t have a rag at home so I’ve been cleaning the table with a tissue.

KJD: Oh, I have something that I actually need to buy.. socks, the ankle ones~

OSH: I don’t really shop on the internet because it’s always different when you see it in person. With everything, I like seeing it in person~

PCY: I buy everything online~ recently, I bought a robot cleaner and sponge towel (?). If I show you my cart, then you’d be really surprised. I’ve been also wanting to buy a notebook (laptop) online.

Who was the last idol you texted?

PCY: I asked Heechul about how many he times he dyed his hair to get it to be white. He said that it wasn’t good for your hair and to not do it, but I’ve tried every other color hair since debut and white is the only color I haven’t dyed my hair yet. But he saved me by telling me not to do it.

KJD: Me and Changmin hyung work out together so that’s why I texted him.

OSH: I texted Donghae because I just missed him~

cr. me, lol.

hey!

in the process of writing a response to this, i accidentally deleted the actual ask, so i have to respond to a screencap of the original

wow. okay so there’s a lot to deal with here

i just wanna start by saying that i am genuinely sorry that i have made you feel that way. living stealth is incredibly difficult and stressful and i can’t even imagine how you do it. 

but the implication that by showing my body, the body i inhabit every second of every day, the body that i have hated and hurt and struggled with all of these years, the implication that by revealing that body to a television camera has somehow put people in danger? that is incredibly insulting and hurtful. 

my body is not political fodder, my body is not a statement. my body is my body. people can think whatever they like of my body, but that doesn’t mean that i am responsible for their reactions. 

my entire life i have been told that my body is grotesque and worthy of nothing but shame, only acceptable to be looked at by medical professionals and myself. but i have gotten to a point in my life where i feel comfortable enough with my body to use it in my work, so that’s exactly what i’m going to do.

i’m sorry that my body is such an affront to you, but i won’t take responsibility or apologize for showing it. instead of blaming me and my body how about blaming cis people and fucked up body standards. how about that. don’t you dare try to force me to hate myself. i’ve already done enough of that for one lifetime.

okay, so i was scrolling through the the feminism tag and i found this account that contented extremely, extremely graphic images under tags like “lgbt and feminism” and i know a lot of you guys have anxiety or just don’t want to see these images (I honestly feel sick after looking through only about 3 pictures) so please block and report I don’t want anyone to be triggered by these images I LOVE ALL OF YOU GUYS AND WANT TO LOOK OUT FOR YOU SO PLEASE SPREAD THIS LIKE WILDFIRE

anonymous asked:

Hey Robyn I just had my teeth taken out {braces} and it hurts a lot and some Harry being cutesy little kitten pictures might help :) so if you have any will you please share ?? Thanks a lot and ILY

okay but there is no proof harry isn’t part kitten

look at it in all its adorable glory 

a fiesty kitten 

the cute AF paws  p l easE

allegedly this is punching but K IT TEN

he likes to be pet

quite a bit

and groomed

and played with

if this isn’t evidence I don’t know what is

EXACTLY

it was a baby kitten 

and 

still 

IS SO MUCH 

a baby kitten ♥

  • What she says:I'm fine.
  • What she means:Simmons was about to go on a date with Fitz and they were gonna eat breadsticks and kiss and talk all night long and Fitz was gonna compliment Simmons hair (which she did special for him because she was nervous and wanted to look nice) and they were gonna talk about their feelings and understand that they loved each other more than anything but tHAT DIDN'T HAPPEN BECAUSE SIMMONS GOT EATEN BY A ROCK AND NOTHING IS OKAY