Tbh I’m like kind of culturally disillusioned because I was raised with my Japanese culture but kind of divorced some of it when I was younger and didn’t feel like I belonged and couldn’t learn the language. I don’t fit in with local Asian street culture. Don’t fit in with the Japanese kids. I also don’t know my Japanese family that well bc they’re like 3000 miles away.
And like I wasn’t even raised with Guatemalan food, like I’m so removed from my Latin American roots with the exception of triannual family gatherings it’s all so foreign to me. I’m trying to learn Spanish but it’s slow going. I think I’m terrible at foreign language. I don’t fit in with Latinx kids either.
Although I have absorbed some moods and thought patterns from these two parts of my ethnicity.
And then there’s the Jamaican part of me that’s literally zero. My mom is half black Jamaican but her dad died when she was young and she’s born and raised in Guatemala so she’s completely removed from her afro-carribean roots but did inherit like medium skin and kinky hair.
So like there’s a part of me that relates to like the natural hair movement or other specifically black movements but I’m uncomfortable with actively participating because I have none of that culture and only some physical traits and haven’t really experienced much prejudice bc I’m very clearly light skinned and mixed. I try to spread the word and stuff but I don’t feel like those things are my movements and it’s uncomfortable.
But it’s like triple shitty because none of my heritage is like conventionally accepted by mainstream America, like there’s so much bias against Asians, Latinxs, and people of African descent so it’s like augh I have to see this shit everywhere and I want to change it but it’s so deeply internalized by American culture.
I’m just out here feeling alienated because all I want is to feel like part of a culture and not really being part of anything.

i feel like a lot of people dont believe me when i say I spent my early teens in some really fucked up corners of the internet and honestly sometimes I forget too because I’m surround by many different, good people now and I’m a better, more independent person who can actually think for myself

But yeah ive seen some shit


There is a high homeless population in the area where I work. I have never been so intimately acquainted with their situations. Just this morning I pulled up to work at 3:40 a.m. to find one of our regulars sitting outside in the open; I had no idea she was homeless, and it was a great blow to know that one of our customers is sleeping right next to our store because she has nowhere to go at night.

My coworker and I are trying to think of ways that we can help them out, but to be honest I don’t really know how to proceed. Starbucks has strict regulations about what food we can donate, so that doesn’t seem to be the best route to go. I’m trying to think of ideas of things that would be up to me and not really in the purview of my employer: blanket drives, food drives, laundry service. But I don’t actually know what would be best.

Does anyone have any ideas they would like to offer up? I’m spending the day brainstorming ideas and would love to hear any ideas from your own community or yourselves. Thank you!

anonymous asked:

I read your faq and it said not to ask you about being friends? Why? Don't You like friends?

oh man ok here’s the deal (sit back and grab some popcorn)

basically, i have lots of friends, both irl and online. i admit, i have lots. and i love each and every one of them cause they’re all such wonderful, unique individuals that i’m proud to say i have in my life. (this including just acquaintances, and mutual follows - you’re all so awesome) ;0;

the thing is though, i made all these cool friends in a,, casual? way. where we started talking about shared interests, through my livestreams, etc. each experience was all awesome, and i always learn lots about someone and how happy they get when they talk about something they like, and so on!

one thing they didn’t do though, was straight up ask me if we could be friends. 

now, here’s where the real deal answer to your ask comes in. the way i see it is, if you just ask someone to be friends with you, that doesn’t seem genuine. really, it puts the person your asking on the spot. (take this from someone who gets a lot of these asks) - the feeling of being put on the spot, especially in this situation, is brutal. it’s either 1) you have to say yes to befriending someone you have no info about, or 2) you get called an asshole for saying no, and have to live with the guilt of making the other person feel bad. and that’s not good.

making friends just by asking if they’ll like you, isn’t a good approach. i personally don’t like being put on the spot where i feel pressure, and i had to add that to my about. i always feel so uncomfortable when someone asks me to be friends with them, because i have no idea who they are or what they’re like. sure, you’d think it’d be nice and sweet and a kind gesture, but to the person you’re asking (me, personally, other’s could be different!) it may not be as kind of a gesture as you think.

if you really want to befriend someone, just make casual conversation with them. talk about things that might interest them - BUT don’t expect you two to become friends just like that, for some people that make take time. remember, everyone is different, and everyone has their comfort zones!!

i hope this summarizes this whole ask up :0!

Dear Charlie,

I’m not sure what the point is anymore. I thought I was getting better at this, but I guess not. I’m tired. So so tired. Not exactly of living, but of life around me. Everything is so plain. Everyone tries to be like each other. No one sticks out. I am just about the only one. I’m tired of school. I really want to sleep. I can’t. Homework has ruined my life. I want to sleep for a very long time, Charlie. I wish someone was awake at this hour. I want a friend. No. I need a friend. But I, yes I, just have acquaintances.


                the tired soul


“Ah, the head talent I wished to see,” Redleaf began, nodding respectfully at the fast-flying sparrowman. “The preparations for Autumn are due to begin shortly, and we have much to discuss.”

organicjunkie asked:

How do you like Vancouver?

I love how accessible it is to outdoor activities like climbing and hiking and whatnot but in general since living here I’ve been pretty miserable. It’s really hard to make friends. I’ve lived here two years and literally have just made acquaintances. If i had legitimate friends I’d be really happy though.

idk its a miracle i have anyone at all but like am i ever going to be able to make any friends on my own w/o needing the extra help of the one friend i have just to make acquaintances because i myself am too reserved and i always think im bothering ppl or being to invasive if i  make any attempt at further contact lmao ffffffck me

  • When people talk about how they have a large amount of friends. No. friends are people that are with you
  • They are the ones where you can go a whole week without talking to them and the next time you see each other, it’s like you literally talked yesterday
  • What I feel like I personally have are acquaintances. People that I have to make an effort to talk to. People that I always have to start a conversation with or else we would never talk or hang out. People that I only know, but yet have no idea who they are.
  • So I don’t have a lot of friends, I just have a lot of people that I’m acquainted with that act like friends.

anonymous asked:

you've helped me redefine and open my eyes to an entire world that i was never informed about or exposed to and im so grateful to you every day. you're so kind and supportive of the things that really matter to you and im so glad to have found you and get to see little glimpses of your life. i always hope you're doing well and that you're safe and happy with who you are and what you're doing and i'm just so happy to have talked to you and made your acquaintance

Ive noticed a pattern in my life. Especially with close people I consider “friends”. They always seem to exit my life when they are happy with something. But as soon as they are sad and depressed, they come back to me cause they know i wont reject them as a person. They know I am too nice and that I always forgive. I hate being used like that. I hate it. Im a human being with feelings more sensitive than normal. And for people to just mess with them, thats just so mean, and cruel. I dont have a big circle of friends, I have maybe less than 5 and the rest I consider just acquaintances. I have to get thru this, thru this difficult weird time of transitioning from a teenager to a independent responsible adult. Fuck trying to make new friends, fuck relationship, fuck anything thats going to distract me from getting the future that i deserve. For everyone that has left my life FUCK YOU. i will be more successful than you ever will be. Then only then will you regret your desicion.