i-just-feel-like-i-have-no-friends

Do you ever feel like Steve Rogers and Remus Lupin should sit down and talk out their feelings? 

“I have a complicated relationship with my best friend.”

“Oh boy. First of all, SAME.”

150629 - Hakssem - Twitter

Do not comfort me by saying not to apologize. I did wrong. I don’t think that just because thoughts are different they are wrong. Put aside right and wrong, my actions may be good to some people but it can hurt others so I apologize. I officially apologize.

I feel there has been a lot of events with Daehyun from late last year up to now. My greediness for wanting Daehyun to do well and like many of you said I have done many things that crossed the line of a friend. Honestly, I have chosen to do these things whether Daehyun wanted it or not. Everytime there were words of people who were worried or were against it, I would apologize and when the same situation came again I made the same choices. I judged from my perspective what kind of reaction, what kind of result would come from these events. The need to show Daehyun who was in front of my eyes, the need to show Daehyuns charismatic self were the only thoughts I had. I’m sorry. It really wasn’t adult-like of me and I think it wad short judgement.

2/28 was the first performance Daehyun had with me after his debut and 6/28 will be his last performance. Now Daehyun will be leaving my side and returning to Seoul. We practiced very hard during the time he was here.
On a stage that wasn’t proper in a situation that wasn’t prepared, under a title of teacher using music as an excuse we indulged ourselves with such words like faith and love, I think I hurt the fans and again I hurt Daehyun.

All this happened because of me and my fault for lacking.

Now I’ll stay on the side and hope things will go well.

With any choice I think you can’t satisfy everybody but the choice is mine to make. This situation must be the result of my choice.

I’m very sorry to the BAP members and I’m sorry to the fans.

This is how I am, I think I am an endlessly lacking childish adult who can’t act his age.

But I hope you will acknowledge me and Daehyuns honesty.

Please, all this happened because of me so don’t hate Daehyunnie and I hope you will rebuke to me.

trans cr; Nicole @ baptrans ; take out with full credit

What if...

…I didn’t want to dive through my laptop at this point and comfort him?

Originally posted by princesssiplier

That would be a lie. But I did. I wanted to sit, off camera and just give my hand to hold and squeeze when it was all getting a bit too much. I wanted to be that friend. But instead, I sat on the other side of the screen, and watched.

I watched and I decided to do something. I would be lying if I said that over the past few weeks I have questioned myself and this blog. But this video, this damn video, made me realise that I can’t give up. I have to be here. I have to share his burden. And more than feeling like I have to….

I WANT TO!! I want to be here for all of you. 

He gave me that courage. He gave me my faith back. I may never meet him, but at least this blog is something in his name I can be proud of.

And I hope he is too.

Oosh out
Thank you for existing

Imagine... Just A Little Bit of Your Heart

[inspired by this]

“Why do you do this to yourself?” your best friend, Audrina, asked you rhetorically over the phone. Her voice showed irritation. After all, it’s the same problem you’ve been having for the last seven months. You stared blankly at the wall as if the answer was scribbled onto it, shrugging like Audrina could see you. You, yourself, didn’t know the answer to that question. “Hello?” Audrina asked, “Are you still there?”

“Yeah,” you replied, “I’m still here.”

“Look,” Audrina began to say, “As your best friend, I feel obligated to say this. Your relationship is toxic. It’s so damaging and Calum is not worth it. Don’t you see, he doesn’t care about you?” You remained quiet so Audrina continued, “If he really loved you, Y/N, he would be home with you and not in clubs with other girls.”

You didn’t know how it all started. But somewhere down the line, the Calum you once knew and loved, had changed. He changed into the person who partied in clubs until three in the morning and stumbled home drunk, passed out on the living room floor. More than twice had Calum admitted to cheating on you. But you couldn’t let him go. Audrina was right. It was a toxic relationship. A relationship you swore to yourself you would never stay in. So why were you fighting so hard to keep Calum when clearly, he was waiting for you to set him free.

“I love him, Audrina,” you whispered into the phone.

Audrina let out a short laugh. “Where have I heard that before? Y/N, why do you love someone who doesn’t love you? All he ever does is hurt you. And I bet my right arm, it’s intentional.”

You rolled your eyes and scoffed it off. You refused to admit it. You heard the lock turn on your front door. “It’s Calum,” you said quickly, “He’s home. I’ll call you later.” Without a second to spare, you shut your phone off and turned off the lights. You crawled hurriedly under the sheets and pretended to be asleep.

Within a minute Calum stepped into the bedroom and the smell of cigarettes and alcohol quickly filled the room. You shuffled around, pretending to wake, as Calum made some noise as he took off his shoes and changed out of his jeans. “Calum?” you tried to sound as sleepy as possible, “Is that you?”

“Yeah, it’s me,” he answered before crawling into bed beside you. “Sorry I woke you.”

“It’s okay,” you kept your eyes shut. You found a comfortable position with your back against Calum. He nuzzled his head between your neck and laid his arm over your stomach. He fell asleep almost immediately.

Morning came too soon. You couldn’t remember at what point you dozed off. All you remember was thinking about what Calum could have been doing before he came home. Where he was. Who he was with. It was the same questions that haunted you every night. But you never bothered to ask.

The sunshine beamed through the curtains and you wiped the sleep from your eyes. Calum was gone. You spent a couple more moments in bed before heading out into the kitchen. You were surprised to see Michael sitting on a stool by the island with a bowl of cereal in front of him.

“What are you doing here?” you asked him.

His head shot up from his food and gave you an apologetic smile, “I was supposed to hang out with Calum today but he…had other plans.”

“So instead you stick around and eat our cereal?”

He shrugged, “I haven’t had breakfast.”

You gave him a half smile before reaching up at the cupboard to grab yourself a bowl. “Eat as much as you want,” you told Michael, “Calum rarely eats our food. He’s always out.” You looked at Michael, waiting for his reaction, but he avoided your gaze, feeling guilty. You were a few bites into your cereal when you noticed Calum’s phone was left on the counter. “He left his phone here,” you observed. “Do you know where he could have gone?”

Michael just shook his head. You reached for the phone and clicked the unlock button. The wallpaper that used to be you and him was replaced by a boring default photo. You had seen Calum type in his passcode several times. You felt a sudden urge to look through his phone, something you promised yourself you wouldn’t do. You said: “I won’t be that kind of girlfriend.”

“Can I ask you something, Michael?”

“Sure,” he said, slowly regretting it. He was Calum’s best friend. If there anyone who could read Calum better than you could, it was Michael. But even then, it seemed like Michael was slowly starting to fall out of the loop.

“Is Calum cheating on me, again?” you asked Michael. You tried to prepare your heart for the answer. Calum had cheated on you before. But every time always felt the the first time. It wasn’t something one could get used to.

Michael shrugged again, “Honestly, Y/N, I don’t know anymore. Calum hasn’t been acting normal lately.”

“Oh,” was all you could say.

Michael stopped drawing circles in his cereal with his spoon and looked at you with a serious face. His green eyes stared you down, trying to read you. The beautiful smile you put on to mask your broken heart might have worked on your family, your boss, your friends, or your neighbors — but not Michael. “You deserve better,” Michael said bluntly. “Calum is my best mate but he doesn’t deserve you. I don’t know what’s gotten into him but he’s gone off the tracks. No girl should stay with a guy who’s cheated on her twice. And that’s just based off what he said. What if there’s other times you don’t know about?”

You felt Calum’s phone tug at your heart, pulling you to look into it. What were you hoping to find? Photos of him with other girls? If there were, what could you do? What would be the objective in snooping through his phone?

Calum’s phone rang and an unknown number showed up. You pushed it towards Michael. “Answer it.”

Michael took the phone and answered the call, putting it on speaker. “Hello?”

“Michael?” the voice on the other line sounded like it belonged to Calum.

“Yeah?”

“It’s Calum.”

“Hey, you left your phone here,” Michael stated.

There was noise in the background. Music and chatter. High pitched voices and laughter. “I know,” Calum was talking loudly over all the noise surrounding him, “I’m at the beach club with a few girls. I thought I lost my phone somewhere here.”

Michael shot you an “I’m sorry you heard that” look. “No,” he told Calum, “it’s at your house.”

“Hey man, if you wanna come here, I think one of the girls could get you in,” Calum said. “Maybe we can take these girls to your place later.”

You noticed Michael’s grip on the phone tighten. “You have a girlfriend, Calum.”

“I know.”

“Then what the hell are you doing?” Michael’s voice was rising.

Calum chuckled, “Look man, I called to check on my phone and ask if you wanna come join me. I didn’t call for a lecture.”

“You need one!” Michael was yelling now. “You wouldn’t know loyalty if it slapped you right in the face! Your girlfriend is at home waiting for you every day and all you know how to do is abandon her.”

“I’m gonna hang up,” Calum warned.

“Before you do,” Michael spoke slowly, “Answer me this: Do you still love her?”

The line disconnected.

You didn’t know how to feel. You lost all emotion. It was like your blood stopped circulating. You organs stopped functioning and your heart stopped beating. It felt like your entire body shut down. Your mind was blank. Numbness ran through you. And it felt good. It felt good to finally feel nothing.

You didn’t feel pain. You didn’t feel anger. You didn’t feel sorry. You felt nothing.

To Calum, you were nothing.

Calum had you under a lock. He loved you so hard only to let you fall. He instilled in you a yearning for his love. A little bit of his heart. You stayed because you craved the love the two of you once had. It was electrifying. Captivating. Exciting. It made you feel alive. Deep down you were hoping to rekindle that love, to bring everything back to the way it was. But it wasn’t going to happen.

Things were different and none of you were the same. And you were a fool. A fool so madly in love she was willing to drown when she knew how to swim, only to feel something.

Anything.

i won't leave | Part 2

(Part 1)

Did i just had sex with my best friend?


I quickly get up and take a shower. When i walk out of the bathroom calum is already awake. We just look at each other. I walk and sit beside him on my bed. No one start talking and it feels like hours when it’s actually 2 minutes. “morning” he says quietly breaking the silence “morning” i say back. This is so awkward and i have never been awkward in front of calum before. We’re best friends since we were young. “how are you feeling” i ask pretending like nothing happened. “uh..i have a headache but it’s not that bad I’m fine” “okay” that’s all i said. We sit in silence again and i just can’t take it anymore “do you remember anything from last night” i asked “actually yes, do you?” He ask with hope in his eyes “no calum I’m too drunk and I can’t remember anything” “oh..uh i think i should go” he get up from the bed and start to get dress and walk out of the room. 

“wait!” I stop him he turned to face me “did we- did we like- uh” I stutter “yes we did (y/n) and I’m not regret it you can hate me or whatever but i’m happy we did it. i remember how good it feels last night but the fact that you don’t remember is just- i gotta go” after that he walk out of the room. Leave me standing there.

(Calum’s POV)
I quickly walk out from (y/n)’s room and straight back home since we’re in the same neighborhood. When i walk home i was thinking about the conversation me and (y/n) just had and it breaks me a little in side that she can’t remember anything. I’m in love with that girl, I’m so in love with her.

A week past
We haven’t talk to each other since that day and it kills me. I need her in my life so today I’m going to see her and talk about it. When i get to her house i knock the door and her mother greet me with a sad smile “hello mrs. (y/l/n)” “calum hi, how’re you doing” “I’m good thank you. Is (y/n) home?” I ask straight away “oh she didn’t tell you? she’s moving out. she left yesterday.” her mother told me with a surprise on her face. “no she didn’t. sorry for disturbing i should go back home. it was nice to see you” I speak and quickly walk out.

3 years later
(Your POV)
I walk into a small cafe in new york with the little one beside me. ‘Thomas’


flashbacks
“Mom, dad I’m moving out” i said when we were having dinner one night “i got this job I applied a while ago. Do you remember?” “Of course baby. You’re a grown woman (y/n). I’m so proud of you” my mother said. She wouldn’t be that proud if she only knew that a few months later I’m pregnant and the baby’s dad was not there. She asked me several times who the father is and i just answered ‘I don’t want to talk about it’ every time.

I miss him really but since that day we haven’t talked so i just left. Without goodbye. I think he’d just leave anyway since his career with the band is getting bigger and bigger.


And now here i am in a city that never sleep with a 3 years old boy.
“Mommy can we have muffin? Pleaseeee?” “Sure buddy. Blueberry or chocolate?” I smile at him. How can i say no to those puppy eyes. “blueberry!” He answered excited. So i order a cup of tea and a blueberry muffin. Thomas just sit there enjoying his muffin. When i heard a group of guys walk in the cafe. They have Australian accents for sure. But I didn’t pay attention to them much as i try to clean thomas lips. 

 "(y/n)! Oh my god is that you?“ 

request here

masterlist

Bad News

…..

….

I’m shutting down this blog guys. I’m sorry.

I don’t know if it will be for good but it will most definitely be for a long time. 

I shouldn’t really get into the reasons as to why I am but here’s just a little idea:-

1. I’m far too busy with life to update. (School, friends, family and personal issues I’m having) 

2. I still receive ‘sex’ related asks which make me feel violently ill. Even though I’ve repeatedly told people that I don’t like it and to stop.

3. I no longer find the pleasure of cosplaying Bro. In all honestly I really want to do other people from homestuck - Dirk is my favourite character and I still have yet to cosplay him along with Sollux who I want to do again. 

4. Due to the recent update (29/6) , I am terrified of the fandom. I know people can take it to far, not being able to separate fiction from reality. I don’t want to be blamed or hated because I cosplay Bro. 
The truth is I know for certain that I have a different opinion from the majority of the fandom what actually went on or has happened. So in order to save myself from ridicule I’m doing this. 

So for those reasons. I’m shutting down. Maybe for good? Maybe not but it will definitely be a while.  

I want to thank you all for supporting me throughout the years. I hope you guys enjoyed the blog so far. But for now I must say

Strider out x

The signs as things my friends have said

Aries: “for fucksake shut up”
Taurus: “IM HORNY ALL THE TIME GODDAMIT”
Gemini: “i dont know why i just wanna fuck him. im straight but like i just do”
Cancer: “cancer is the best thing ever. WAIT I MEAN THE SIGN CANCER NOT THE ILLNESS”
Leo: “i feel like i could be a stripper”
Virgo: *incoherent muttering*
Libra: “I CAN STRIP FOR YOU BAEEEE”
Scorpio: “i have two emotions: fuck you vs. i wanna fuck you”
Sagittarius: “but how do you not see his hotness”
Capricorn: “i crushed an apple with my forehead once”
Aquarius: “i want ur boob and booty like they’re literal perfection”
Pisces: “WHYD YOU TURN SPONGEBOB OFF DIPSHIT”
creds // astrologasm

I have friends who like that drama. I’m not one of those people. If you’re a suitable, positive partner, then great, I’d love to add you to my life. But I don’t need anybody to feel complete. I don’t need to be with somebody just to not be alone.
—  Shay Mitchell on Seventeen Magazine.

My dash has been a little dead so I’d love to have some new blogs to follow! If you post some of this stuff I’d love to follow you! Just like or reblog this and I’ll check your blog out.
I’m mostly interested in:
Jjba
Ace Attorney
Fire Emblem
Steven Universe
Evangelion
Aesthetic pastel things and nature
Fashion
Earthbound
Kingdom Hearts
Parks and Recreation

Tbh just give me anime and some memes and we’ll best friends

Also feel free to check out my blog if you want! I post most of the stuff I listed on my blog too if you’re interested :)

Kingdom Hearts is cheesy, sounds like bad fanfiction and whatnot, but it’s the last gift I got from my grandmother before she passed, and her death is still hard to me because of how it happened and how sudden it was, but that’s something you have to be a level 40 friend to unlock

I just remember her coming home, saying she got something from Best Buy, and it turned out to be KH1. And yeah I saw the trailers, but I wasn’t particularly interested in it, hell, she didn’t even know what she was grabbing for me, but she was sure enough to think I would like it.

So I played it, and I fell in love, and I just remember clearing the Deep Jungle level and being exasperated form dealing with Clayton and the chameleon but feeling so hyped for the next world to visit.

I ran to her room and gave her the biggest hug because I appreciate her love for me, it wasn’t even about the game anymore, I mean of course the game was BANGIN but it was more than that, I just knew she’d do anything in her power to make me happy and that made me feel so good

Kingdom Hearts in general is like playing through my feelings and memories because every single one of the Disney movies that came out during my time it was me and my grandmother front and center waiting to watch them, get ice cream afterwards and just talk.

One way I choose to remember her is through talking about Kingdom Hearts.

It’s one of the only things I have left from her and it’s something I’ll always keep dear to my heart.

I miss her a lot, but her love will always be here with me and so will Kingdom Hearts with their 5 million games across 80 platforms.

anonymous asked:

Responding to that message me anything, except I have a bit of anxiety.. So this'll be anonymous. My day has been a pretty shitty one, had an English exam that I'm pretty sure I've failed at, then all my friends started acting really weird, I feel out of the loop now, feels like their always doing other things and I'm never really part of the plan anymore.. I don't know if this is to do with my anxiety n I'm just making it up in my head.. But it sucks😔 but hey! On the upside I 💞 your blog!xx

I am sure it is in your head just speak to them and maybe they can help! And thanks!

Can I just say how incredibly happy I was to see Jack having so much fun at Indy Popcon???  Like, he sometimes mentions that he feels kinda lonely in Ireland because all of his friends are online, and seeing him have such a great time with Mark, Bob, and Wade and the fans just made me so happy and smiley. XD  I’m glad that he got to see how much he is loved, not just by us, but by his fellow Youtuber friends.  I feel like he was able to see that those three see him as one of them, not just a “fan” who happens to be in the same business. :) I dunno, it just made me so proud of Jack and overjoyed that he’s made such good friends and that he’s getting the love and recognition he deserves.  He really is such a unique, funny, wonderful guy with a friendly personality, and he deserves all the success in the world!!! :D

there are five kinds of people:

• those who think ‘and i’m cursing your name’ after they hear the words '2 am’
• those who think 'who do you love?’ after they hear then words '2 am’
• those who think 'feeling like i just lost a friend’ after they hear the words '2 am’
• those who think 'in your car/in my room/here we are’ after they hear the words '2 am’
• those who have no idea what i’m talking about, because 2 am is “just, you know, the second hour of a new day??”

10

We were so close to everything that was going on during the entire show.  This stage setup really made it possible for them to include the audience from all angles and wow did we luck out that we were in a spot that Bono spent all kinds of time at right in front of us. 

Plus they did not oversell the GA area so we had room around us to breath and move and dance the whole time - IT WAS AWESOME!

Boy did it feel good to feel like my old self again on so many levels.  And to just be able to enjoy the show.  So many moments/songs brought back memories of all of the times I have seen them and all of the different friends I have seen them with over the years.  SUCH GOOD STUFF!

anonymous asked:

I know this is something a bit weird to ask/tell you but I sweat quite a lot (in my opinion) specially my armpits, and I feel so uncomfortable because of it. What kinda worsens the situation is that I notice that most people my age don't sweat much? I mean they do but they don't have those embarrassing sweat stains under their arms like I do. Do you perhaps know anything that can help/comfort me? This is a bit stupid but I just can't stop overthinking all of this. Plus I'm a girl so :/

girl i sweat so so much! i’m not joking it’s hilarious; my friend and i will be in lectures at uni and we’ll just look at each other and know that the other one is sweating like crazy too, like if a room is just a lil bit hot then my armpits sweat hahaha (i read it’s a sign of a fast metabolism so yay go us hehe)

i just try to wear sleeveless stuff, or things that don’t show sweat patches (so basically no grey T-shirts) at the end of the day everyone sweats so it’s no big deal - i’m past the point where i care if people think it’s gross or whatever, like so what i bet they sweat too!! you’ve got to be honest about stuff, it makes it less awkward, i’m just like ‘guys im sweating so much why is it so hot’ and then it’s less awkward if they see sweat patches haha ;) xxx

sipulisoppa asked:

Just wondering, does anyone else get this feeling where you kinda consider your instrument as a friend of sorts? Like you know that the instrument is an inanimate object with no feelings but it just is your friend. Or am I slowly going insane?

Hi!

Um, I think you should be considering your instrument a friend? I have named my cello, I apologize profusely anytime it bumps into anything, it legitimately sits opposite my bed and I talk to her. It. Whatever. Her.

ANDIDEFINITELYHAVENOTWRITTENASTORYABOUTWHATWOULDHAPPENIFSHETURNEDINTOAPERSONNOPENOPENOPENOPE

I don’t know, I think if you consider your instrument a friend you’re a better player for it. If you think of it as just a hollow piece of wood or a hunk of metal I feel like you’re not going to really want to feel the music as much. It feels a little stupid sometimes? A little embarrassing but I think we’re all allowed a little bit of child.

In my case, a LOT of child, but.

-Leigh :)

anyone else?

anonymous asked:

I am deeply in love with my ex boyfriend and he says he likes me just not romantically. He really wants to be friends and to not have things be painful between us but the more friendly he acts towards me the more i start to believe i have another chance with him which just isnt true. Im stuck on the feeling of wanting him back but knowing if we stay friends, he'll do nothing but hurt me.

Cut him out of your life if he’s teasing you.