i-have-lost-my-number

flirting in french; god, how i would love to be smooth in any language. i’d like to think this is pretty important - as this is part of socializing in any language. flirtation is a very different thing than “picking up.” picking up is a kind of hunting game with a very pointed and invariable goal. flirtation, at least in france, is a totally different thing. it’s a different culture, a different lifestyle. it’s a way of being in everyday life, and unlike picking up, it has no defined goal. sometimes the french flirt because it’s just delightful to do so. think salt to pepper relationship. allowing each one to check, and at different levels, if he or she still has some charm operating. 

i would say that simple is always best: merely walk up to your chosen girl or guy and say je vous trouve absolument charmante, or i find you absolutely charming / beautiful. be classy and to the point. with that and mind, read on!

so; why flirt in french?

  • well, french is a sexy language. not going to lie. 
  • it’s the planet’s most-hyped language of love.
  • reaching that level of fluency feels amazing.
  • it gives you that confidence. social confidence.
  • helps to develop communication skills. 

french learning and french flirting 

  • let’s face it: in france, (or in any country for that matter), nobody speaks like a textbook, the president, or a language learning site (i’m looking at you, duolingo). it’s great for memorizing the fundamentals, but lacks that extra step that stands between you and complete fluency. 
  • flirting is part of socializing - and linguistically (i don’t know, it helped with me) it improves retention. it’s also just interesting to learn! 
  • flirting is just well.. fun. even if it doesn’t go anywhere.
  • a bit of verbal charm isn’t always necessary : but in my opinion, it helps you sound more natural / at ease / friendly. 
  • i somewhat lack verbal charm (i’m very, very awkward in social situations) so i probably need this masterpost as much as anyone else (: 

the classics: make love last. 
this is based upon what i’ve heard at school / restaurants / bars. 
okay fine: it’s based on the movies i’ve watched too. 

  • j’ai envie de t’embrasser / embrasse-moi - kiss me.. annouce it - make your intentions known! i’d like to kiss you’ - okay, you could just kiss someone instead of letting them know. but i don’t know.. there’s something romantic about it? best with a longing, meaningful stare. 
  • je t’aime: i’m pretty sure we all know this one. best with someone you care deeply for, i wouldn’t say this on a first date - but if you’re the direct type : this can help you get from a to z pretty quickly. 

the simple compliments
using these with a flirty look / tone of voice  can do wonders. play with your expression while practicing these: it makes a difference, trust me. t’es toujours canon toi ou quoi?

you can also add trop ( = too). example: trop belle, trop mignon(ne).
you can also add tellement ( = so) example: t’es tellement belle!
you can also add si ( = so) example: t’es si mignonne.
you can also use grave ( = totally) example: t’es grave belle. 

  • t’es mignon(ne).
  • t’es belle (/beau), toi. 
  • t’es canon. ( = you’re smoking hot). 
  • t’es con. ( = you’re an idiot) - i’ve seen this used a lot flirtatiously.
  • t’es drôle. ( = you’re funny)
  • t’es magnifique. 
  • t’es charmant(e). 
  • t'es coquin / coquine! ( = you’re such a tease.)

the ‘social and the flirty’ 
these can be used as compliments / or flirtatiously. depends on your relationship with the person you’re giving them to. 

  • cette beauté chaton, tu m’ éblouie. ( = you dazzle me with your beauty.)
  • une beauté divine. ( = a divine beauty or: you’re so divine.)
  • ouloulouloulouloulou. ( = you really have to hear this one.)
  • tu brilles de mille feux.
  • j'te pécho. ( = like the equivalent of ‘to pick up someone’ in english). 
  • bg, or beau / belle gosse ( = hot guy, hot girl). 
  • une petite merveille. ( = a wonder, someone to be marveled at). 
  • une bombe. ( = bombshell, someone pretty - same thing as ‘belle gosse’.)
  • le petit côté mystérieux femme fatale je kiffe. - je kiffe means i like. 
  • la beauté à l état pur ( = beauty at its purest form). 
  • dingue! ( = crazy, as in crazy beautiful). 
  • j'ai pas les mots.( = i have no words). 
  • wahhh, la classe! ( = classy!)
  • c’est fou, tant de beauté ( = you’re so beautiful, it’s crazy.)

flirting at a bar or restaurant? 

  • t’as d’beaux yeux, tu sais? the phrase ‘you’ve got beautiful eyes’ pretty much works in any language (though, i think it sounds extra gorgeous in french). the phrase actually comes from a french film called le quai des brumes. fair warning: this is an extreme cliché, : it’s basically the english equivalent of do you come here often? it can be said ironically, if you’re not the cliché type.  
  • je peux t’offrir / vous (formal) un verre ? : can i buy you a drink?
  • vous êtes célibataire ? mais comment est-ce possible ? - you’re single? but how’s that possible? 
  • vous venez souvent ici ? - do you come here often? classic.  a phrase that transcends cultural barriers: “ the sentence could be followed up by complaints — about the bartender, about the clients or about how the bar isn’t as good as it used to be. a french tradition is râler, a sort of complaining. finding things to complain about is a way that many french people choose to bond with new acquaintances. this is not true of anyone.
  • t’as une miette (you’ve got a crumb) as you pretend to stroke something off of someone’s face, first with your fingers, then with your lips.
  • tu m’excites ! ( = you turn me on.)
  • “j’ai une première édition de ‘à la recherche du temps perdu.’ tu veux le voir ?” -  i have the first edition of “in search of lost time. (written by proust). do you want to see it?” in france (for me, at least) cultural knowledge is sexy. in America, we often ask if you’d like a nightcap. choose something cultural and intellectual in france, and you’re far more likely to get a oui.
  • je veux te revoir. ( = i want to see you again.) 
  • quoi de beau? ( = how you doin’ - joey, friends.)
  • excuse-moi. est-ce que t’embrasses les inconnus ? non ? donc, je me présente. excuse me, do you kiss strangers? No? then let me introduce myself.
  • excuse-moi, j'ai perdu mon numero de téléphone. est-ce que je peux t'emprunter le tien?“ excuse me, i seem to have lost my phone number. could I borrow yours? 

let me know if you’d like to know more! you can never be too charming.

cheesy pick up lines.

“You know what’s beautiful? Read the first word.”
“Are you flappy bird? Cause I could tap you all night.”
“Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears!”
“I’m not a photographer, but I can picture me and you together.”
“Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile.”
“I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?”
“I bet you play soccer, because you’re a keeper.”
“Are you an orphanage? Cause I wanna give you kids.”
“I’m not staring at your boobs. I’m staring at your heart.”
“Do you work at Starbucks? Because I like you a latte.”
“Are you a campfire? Cause you are hot and I want s'more.”
“Hello, I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart.”
“I’m no organ donor but I’d be happy to give you my heart.”
“Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?”
“If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?”
“You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.”
“Do you have a name or can I call you mine?”
“Are you Google? Because I’ve just found what I’ve been searching for.”
“There’s a big sale in my bedroom right now. Clothes are now 100% off!”
“Let’s commit the perfect crime: I’ll steal you’re heart, and you’ll steal mine.”
“I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away!”
“What’s a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?”
“I think there’s something wrong with my eyes because I can’t take them off you.”
“If you were a potato, you’d be a sweet one.”
“Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?”
“Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out.”
Imagine...Dean Using Bad Pick Up Lines

Originally posted by deanandcasstuff

Request: Congrats about your anniversary! Can I request a really fluffy dean x reader where they’ve been dating for awhile. Like maybe one night they go to a bar with Sam and dean uses all his bad pickup lines on his girlfriend.

Pairing: Dean x reader

A/N: I’m simultaneously proud and mortified at myself for this…


Keep reading

the-trashster  asked:

What would the 104th and veterans pickup lines be?

Mikasa: You’re so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line.
Reiner: “Do you like your eggs scrambled or fertilized?”
Bertholdt: Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears!
Annie: If I were a cat I’d spend all 9 lives with you.
Eren:  Was your dad a boxer? Cause you’re a knockout!
Jean: Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material.
Marco: If you were a vegetable you’d be a cute-cumber.
Sasha: Are you a banana? Because I find you a-peeling
Connie: I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?
Historia: Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?
Armin: I don’t have a library card, but do you mind if I check you out?
Ymir: I was feeling a little off today, but you definitely turned me on.
Levi: My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can’t hold it in.
Hanji: Your body is 65% water and I’m thirsty.
Erwin: “You got some commander in you? No? You want some?”
Nanaba: Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.
Mike: I’m sorry, I don’t think we’ve met. I wouldn’t forget a pretty face like that.

The signs as cheesy pick up lines
  • Aries: Is your daddy a Baker? Because you've got some nice buns
  • Taurus: I'm not a photographer, but I can picture me and you together.
  • Gemini: Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you've got fine written all over you.
  • Cancer: Are you religious? Because you're the answer to all my prayers.
  • Leo: I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?
  • Virgo: I don't have a library card, but do you mind if I check you out
  • Libra: Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet ass.
  • Scorpio: I was feeling a little off today, but you definitely turned me on.
  • Sagittarius: Was your dad a boxer? Cause you're a knockout.
  • Capricorn: I'm sorry, I don't think we've met. I wouldn't forget a pretty face like that
  • Aquarius: Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears!
  • Pisces: If God made anything more beautiful than you, I'm sure he'd keep it for himself.
Svt as cheesy pick up lines~

Lol she back at it again. I always do these when I’m bored so enjoy~

-

Seungcheol: “I seem to have lost my number, do you think I could have yours?”

Jeonghan: “do I know you? Because you look exactly like my next girlfriend”

Jisoo:“if I could re-arrange the alphabet I’d put u and I together”

Junhui: are you African? Because you’re a frican babe"

Soon young: “if you were a booger I’d pick you first”

Wonwoo: “I don’t have my library card on me but do you mind if I check you out?”

Jihoon: “are you a magician? Because when I look at you everyone else disappears”

Mingyu: “if you were a vegetable you’d be a cute-cumber”

Minghao: is your dad a drug dealer? Because you’re dope"

Seokmin: “do you work at Starbucks? Because I like you a latte”

Seungkwan: are you a parking ticket? Because you have fine written all over you"

Hansol: “feel my shirt. That’s boyfriend material”

Chan: “is your nickname chapstick? because I think you’re the balm”

Reverse Idol!AU — Wanna One Fic

part 2 part 3

i’ve always thought i was good at writing fluff, guess not oml

this was fun to write hahah; you are the same age as 2Park in this fic-

requested by anon!

genre: fluff i think im sorry omg

synopsis(?): where you’re a soloist and you’re on weekly idol with Wanna One and you’re known for your quiet and cold personality, but you slowly warm up to them


“Hey Y/N, I seem to have lost my number. Can I have yours?”

Woah, what’s this? A pick-up line? Why?

Flashback July 23rd

You debuted at age 19 as a soloist a week before Wanna One and came out with your new song “Who I Am.” News came out that you are emotionless and the complete opposite of a chatterbox, making it difficult for you to make friends.

As you were heading back to your dorm, your manager informs you, “Hey Y/N, you have a Weekly Idol filming with Wanna One on the 26th, be prepared to communicate with them. Remember, be friendly.

Ok, it wasn’t that you aren’t friendly, you just have trouble socializing, so you opted to keep the cold image you’ve created.

Back to July 26th, the day of the filming

As Doni and Coni chats about the guests they’ve invited, you look at the pretty faces of the members of Wanna One. During the introductions of each member, you find them aggravatingly adorable as they show off their own unique charms to the camera viewers. ‘Ah, so they are the ones who saved the year. They seem okay.’

When it was your turn to be introduced, you didn’t know how to act in front of a huge group of guys so you forced an awkward smile onto your face;

“And finally our resident Ice Queen, Y/N!” You didn’t know what charm to do, and you couldn’t act cute otherwise that’d just ruin your whole cold concept. You resorted to smiling shyly and waving at the camera, what you didn’t know was your smile was saved in every 11 members heart.

‘Wahh, she’s so cute/pretty.’

Waterpark CF

You watched with a fluttering heart as they all filmed their commercials, occasionally silently laughing at the way Doni introduces the members. ‘Can I swim in your heart? What, why are you doing this, i’m not ready??’ You feel bad for the way they were teasing Minhyun, but couldn’t help but to laugh along.

It was your turn, and you have no idea what to do. You did the breaststroke and ended it with “Can I swim into your heart?” and a failed wink. You felt so embarrassed and hid yourself behind your hands, the members of Wanna One smiling at the very adorable action.

Jeojang and Thigh Sweep Dance

Doni and Coni told you to stay out of this and to judge this segment with them, you don’t think you can handle this part. These boys are starting to, I guess you can say, swim into your heart.

You feel you heart fluttering and melting, you’re squealing so loudly in your head, you’re starting to have a headache.

OH MY GOD WOOJIN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING BOIIII, you’re ilLEGAL.’ same

‘ONG????????? SROP.’

Random Play Dance

You went first, dancing to your new song. You were so nervous to dance in front of these handsome, talented boys, that you fumbled and almost tripped over air. You’re a clumsy person, and that caught their eyes. They felt like they wanted to protect you. When you finished doing your random play dance, they subtly asked if you were okay and if you needed anything.

You feel someone tap you and you turn and see Jinyoung;

“Noona, are you okay?”

“Ah, yes. I’m fine, don’t worry about me (:”

Finally, it was their turn. They looked so cool dancing to their songs, you couldn’t help but to admire them. ‘Awwww, omg Daehwi is so cute. HE’S HOPPING AROUND LIKE A BUNNYY.’ You catch Seongwoo’s mistake but don’t point it out. When they danced to Energetic and Burn It Up, you couldn’t help but notice the slight hip thrusts ehem ehem me too.

You couldn’t help but to dance along yes you know their dances, being pushed to join them by Coni the boys happily made room for you to join. You had fun dancing with them and actually wouldn’t mind doing it again.

When they succeeded the random play dance and won their chicken, you were so happy. You couldn’t help but to join their group hug and celebrate with them. ‘Am I actually hugging these adorable humans right now? Is it my time of death already?? I can die happily now omg.’ 

Rewriting Profiles

Before the cameras rolled to start recording, the boys made sure you were comfortable first before settling down themselves. You sat down next to Daehwi. You had to bite your lips to refrain from smiling and inwardly cooed at how sweet they are towards you.

The whole time Jisung showed off his imitations, you were laughing and simultaneously slapping Daehwi on the shoulder. You have this habit of hitting someone when you laugh when you’re comfortable. When Seongwoo imitated the haegeum (a korean traditional instrument), you found yourself slapping Daehwi’s shoulders, again. poor daehwi

Written on your profile are the words, “I laugh at any and everything, pick-up lines, puns, and jokes are my weaknesses”

Coni and Doni decided to create a new corner where all you say are pick-up lines. ‘Ah, I’m doomed. I don’t think I can handle 11 angels using pick-up lines on me. How am I going to survive??’

sorry not sorry 

Daehwi; “Can I take your picture to prove to all my friends that angels do exist?”

Jinyoung; “You shouldn’t wear makeup! It’s messing with perfection!”

Jaehwan; “Are you religious? Because you’re the answer to all my prayers.” your religions minhyun

Sungwoon; “Do you work at Starbucks? Because I like you a latte.”

Jihoon; “If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.”

Guanlin; “I’m not a photographer, but I can picture me and you together.”

Woojin; “Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material.”

Seongwoo; “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?”

Jisung; “Is your name Ariel? Because we Mermaid for each other!”

Minhyun; “I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?”

Daniel; “You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?” yes please 

‘CAN FILMING END ALREADY MY HEART IS ABOUT TO BURST. FJSKDJASNK’ Your face was as dark as a red apple or maybe even darker. You felt like you were melting, you wanted to squeal so badly but composed yourself. You were stunned and tried to say a pick-up line back but all that passed through your lips were jumbled words. ‘Dear Weekly Idol writers, please edit this embarrassing part of me out.’

As if hearing your wish, they concluded the filming and you have never been so relieved. Once cameras were off, you ran towards the waiting room and hurriedly packed your things, wanting to get out of there to prevent further embarrassing yourself. You found it hard to leave the building as someone was holding onto your arms. Turning, you see Jihoon with the rest of Wanna One behind him;

“Minhyun hyung wasn’t joking when he said he wanted your number. Actually, all of us do.”

‘Ah, scratch my initial thought, they’re not okay. They’re the definition of perfect and illegal. How can someone like them exist?’ 

“Y-yeah! Okay.”


unedited as always! why does fluff seem so hard to write now? omg is this even fluff?

apparently i suck at fluff too, im cryinG-

but i hope you enjoy my failed attempt at fluff! ( ´▽` )ノ❤️

i love pick-up lines, puns, and jokes so i hAD to insert it oOPS.

Cheesy Pick-Up Line Starters
  • “Do you have a name or can I call you mine?”
  • “I’m not a photographer, but I can picture me and you together.”
  • “I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?”
  • “Do you have a map? I’m getting lost in your eyes.”
  • “I was feeling a little off today, but you definitely turned me on.”
  • “I’m sorry, I don’t think we’ve met. I wouldn’t forget a pretty face like that.”
  • “You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?”
  • “I’m not staring at your boobs. I’m staring at your heart.”
  • “Have you been to the doctor lately? Cause I think you’re lacking some Vitamin Me.”
  • “You look so familiar… didn’t we take a class together? I could’ve sworn we had chemistry.”
  • “You’re so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line.”
  • “Excuse me, I think you have something in your eye. Oh wait, it’s just a sparkle.”
  • “Would you grab my arm so I can tell my friends I’ve been touched by an angel?”
  • “There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can’t take them off you.”
  • “Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?”
  • “Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.”
  • “Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.”
  • “I must be in a museum, because you truly are a work of art.”
  • “Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?”
  • “Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?”
  • “Your hand looks heavy. Let me hold it for you.”

Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears!

I’m not a photographer, but I can picture me and you together.

Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile.

Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet ass.

Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.

If you were a vegetable you’d be a cute-cumber.

I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?

Is your daddy a Baker? Because you’ve got some nice buns!

There are people who say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Apparently, none of them have ever been in your arms.

Did you invent the airplane? Cause you seem Wright for me.

Do you have a map? I’m getting lost in your eyes.

Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out.

I’m sorry, I don’t think we’ve met. I wouldn’t forget a pretty face like that.

Does your left eye hurt? Because you’ve been looking right all day.

I will stop loving you when an apple grows from a mango tree on the 30th of February.

You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?

I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I’m going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.

You’re the only girl I love now… but in ten years, I’ll love another girl. She’ll call you ‘Mommy.’

Can I take your picture to prove to all my friends that angels do exist?

I tried my best to not feel anything for you. Guess what? I failed.

Hey, don’t frown. You never know who could be falling in love with your smile.

My doctor says I’m lacking Vitamin U.

Can I follow you home? Cause my parents always told me to follow my dreams.

Because of you, I laugh a little harder, cry a little less, and smile a lot more.

For a moment I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Now I see that I am very much alive, and heaven has been brought to me.

You look so familiar… didn’t we take a class together? I could’ve sworn we had chemistry.

Was your dad a boxer? Cause you’re a knockout!

You’re so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line.

I was wondering if you had an extra heart mine seems to have been stolen

I thought happiness started with an H. Why does mine start with U?

If I were a cat I’d spend all 9 lives with you.

Do you work at Starbucks? Because I like you a latte.

Are you a banana? Because I find you a-peeling

There isn’t a word in the dictionary for how good you look.

Me without you is like a nerd without braces, A shoe without laces, aSentenceWithoutSpaces

Babe, your beauty makes the morning sun look like the dull glimmer of the moon.

I must be a snowflake, because I’ve fallen for you.

There is something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn’t have your number in it.

You must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room.

Do you have a twin sister? Then you must be the most beautiful girl in the world!

You know I’d like to invite you over, but I’m afraid you’re so hot that you’ll skyrocket my air-conditioning bill.

If you were a booger I’d pick you first.

Do you know what I did last night? I looked up at the stars, and matched each one with a reason why I love you.

Excuse me, I think you have something in your eye. Oh wait, it’s just a sparkle.

If I were to ask you out on a date, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?

You’re kinda, sorta, basically, pretty much always on my mind.

My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can’t hold it in.

When I first saw you I looked for a signature, because every masterpiece has one.

I like Legos, you like Legos, why don’t we build a relationship?

You may be asked to leave soon, you’re making all the other women look bad.

Would you grab my arm so I can tell my friends I’ve been touched by an angel?

If a thousand painters worked for a thousand years, they could not create a work of art as beautiful as you.

Rejection can lead to emotional stress for both parties involved and emotional stress can lead to physical complications such as headaches, ulcers, cancerous tumors, and even death! So for my health and yours, JUST SAY YES!

Of all the beautiful curves on your body, your smile is my favorite.

No wonder the sky is grey today, all the blue is in your eyes.

I’m no organ donor but I’d be happy to give you my heart.

If I had a penny for every time I thought of you, I’d have exactly one cent, because you never leave my mind.

Hershey’s makes millions of kisses a day.. .all I’m asking for is one from you.

Life without you would be like a broken pencil… pointless.

Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?

If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d have five cents.

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.

How was heaven when you left it?

Did you fart, cause you blew me away.

You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.

I didn’t know that angels could fly so low!

There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can’t take them off you.

Is your name “swiffer”? ‘Cause you just swept me off my feet.

Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?

If stars would fall everytime I would think of you, the sky would soon be empty

Your lips look so lonely…. Would they like to meet mine?

Baby, you’re so sweet, you put Hershey’s outta business.

Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?

So there you are! I’ve been looking all over for YOU, the woman of my dreams!

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.

Somebody better call God, cuz heaven’s missing an angel!

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put ‘U’ and ‘I’ together.

If your heart was a prison, I would like to be sentenced for life.

Was you father an alien? Because there’s nothing else like you on Earth!

What time do you have to be back in heaven?

Your legs must be tired because you’ve been running through my mind all night.

Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

Do you have a pencil? Cause I want to erase your past and write our future.

I love you like a pig loves not being bacon.

Are your parents bakers? Cause they sure made you a cutie pie!

Did you go to bed early last night? From the looks of it, you got your beauty sleep.

I’d say God Bless you, but it looks like he already did.

I must be in a museum, because you truly are a work of art.

Let’s commit the perfect crime: I’ll steal your heart, and you’ll steal mine.

You spend so much time in my mind, I should charge you rent.

If kisses were snowflakes, I’d send you a blizzard

Are you my phone charger? Because without you, I’d die.

How come you’re not on top of a Christmas tree? I thought that’s where angels belonged.

Are you a cat? Cause you are purrrfect

If you were a tropical fruit, you’d be a Fine-apple!

I wish I was cross eyed, so I could see you twice.

Are you on Nickelodeon? Cause you’re a-Dora-ble!

I don’t know if you’re beautiful, I haven’t gotten past your eyes yet.

You don’t need keys to drive me crazy

Can you take me to the doctor? Because I just broke my leg falling for you

You must be a ninja, because you snuck into my heart

Your eyes are blue, like the ocean. I’m lost at sea

If I had to choose between breathing or loving you, I would say “I love you” with my last breath.

You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.

When God made you, he was showing off.

You’re like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!

Is there a rainbow today? I just found the treasure I’ve been searching for!

I didn’t see any stars in the sky tonight, the most heavenly body was standing right next to me.

If I could reach out and hold a star for everytime you’ve made me smile, I’d hold the whole universe in the palm of my hand.

Should I smile because we are friends, or cry because I know that is what we will ever be?

When I look into your eyes, it is like a gateway into the world of which I want to be a part.

(hold out hand) Would you hold this for me while I go for a walk?

This time next year let’s be laughing together.

Let me tie your shoes, cause I dont want you falling for anyone else.

Are you a beaver? Cause daaaaam!

I hope your day has been as beautiful as you are.

Excuse me, I don’t want you to think I’m ridiculous or anything, but you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I just felt like I had to tell you.

I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?

I hope you know CPR, cuz you take my breath away!

I just had to come talk with you. Sweetness is my weakness.

I think I can die happy now, cause I’ve just seen a piece of heaven.

Were your parents Greek Gods, 'cause it takes two gods to make a goddess.

Are you Australian? Because you meet all of my koala-fications

You better call Life Alert, 'cause I’ve fallen for you and I can’t get up.

You’re single. I’m single. Coincidence? I think not.

You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You’re making the other women look really bad.

Hi, I’m writing a term paper on the finer things in life, and I was wondering if I could interview you?

You are so beautiful that you give the sun a reason to shine.

Someone should call the police, because you just stole my heart!

Baby, you’re so hot, you make the equator look like the north pole.

You’re hotter than Papa Bear’s porridge.

If I had to choose between one night with you or winning the lottery…I would chose winning the lottery…but it would be close…real close…

You’re hotter than donut grease.

Are you the moon? Because even when it’s dark, you still seem to shine.

I never need to see the sun again because your eyes light up my world.

It’s dark in here. Wait! It’s because all of the light is shining on you.

Your hand looks heavy. Let me hold it for you.

Are you a kidnapper? Because you just abducted my heart.

Can you pull this heart-shaped arrow out of my butt? A damn little kid with wings shot me.

You look beautiful today, just like every other day.

When I’m older, I’ll look back at all of my crowning memories, and I’ll think of the day my children were born, the day I got married, and the day that I met you.

If beauty were time, you’d be eternity

I’m lost. Can you tell me which road leads to your heart?! 

Even if there wasn’t gravity on earth, I’d still fall for you.

i have so many pickups lines so here u go!! i apologise for these in advance jjddjk -sara

SHAPE OF YOU (Bellamy Blake x Reader)

Request: Hi!! Could you write a Bellamy x Reader imagine based on Ed Sheeran’s song ‘shape of you’? It can be smut or whatever you feel like writing. I frankly don’t know why but every time I hear this song, he pops up in my head. I would loooove if you’d put your amazing imagination into this:). Thank you♥️x

  masterlist 


The music coming from the speakers fills the smoky air of MacLaren’s pub and Bellamy listens to it over the sounds of his friends speaking. It entices him, the sounds of the melodic piano tune against the rhythmic beat. He’s drank so much that the song almost makes him fall asleep right there at the booth.

“Hey, sleepyhead!” Finn shakes his shoulders, making him snap up with a lazy smile, “Let’s go!” He laughs. Bellamy’s not sure where they’re going but he stands up and follows anyways.

Keep reading

Bad Pick up Lines
  • "If you were a chicken, you'd be in-peck-able."
  • "Do you drink milk? It did your body good."
  • "My name may not be Luna, but I sure know how to Lovegood!"
  • "If I had to rate you from 1-10, I would rate you as a 9 because I am the one that you are missing."
  • "Are you religious? Because you’re the answer to all my prayers."
  • "If I were to look into the Mirror of Erised, I'd see the two of us together."
  • "I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you."
  • "Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears!"
  • "I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?"
  • "There are people who say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Apparently, none of them have ever been in your arms."
  • "You must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room."
  • "My love for you burns like a dying phoenix."
  • "Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven?"
  • "Let's commit the perfect crime. I'll steal your heart, and you'll steal mine."
  • "If you were ground coffee, you'd be Espresso cause you're so fine."
  • "If you stood in front of a mirror and help up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world."
  • "I must have had some Felix Felicis, because I think I'm about to get lucky."
  • "I must be dancing with the devil, because you're hot as hell."
Mine, Mi Amor_El Diablo x Reader

Anon bunny asked: El diablo x reader where diablo gets pissed/jealous when he sees captain boomerang flirting with the reader Thanks in advance

Jenn’s note: I tried not to make this at all like the jealous Diablo l I saw a while back and I think I succeeded. So here you go.

Word Count: 306

Masterlist

Warning: Suicide Squad spoilers.

Disclaimer: I do not own the gif and all mentioned characters belong to DC

Originally posted by musicexpresseverything

“I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?”

“We don’t have phones Digger.” You grunted

“Do you have a map? I’m getting lost in your eyes.”

“I’m not even looking at you…”

“Was your dad a boxer? Because you’re a knockout.”

“He was an accountant.”

“Right. Did you sit in a pile of sugar? ‘Cause you have a pretty sweet ass.”

That was the last straw as you let out a peal of laughter and fell from the salmon ladder to the dry hard ground. Even though he wind was knocked out of you let out a weak giggle and let him help you up. Digger had been following you around like a lost puppy all of training day, flirting and using bad pickup lines. He did this even knowing your boyfriend, the one and only El Diablo, was there in the training yard with you. You let the Aussie get away with it for a while, that was, until you saw a certain pyro inadvertently make his punching dummy smoke while flames brushed his knuckles. Not very politely excusing yourself you walked over to him.

“Hello Mr. Grumpy Gills.” You said, grinning at him.

“Mi amor.” He panted, standing up.

“What’s got your prison issued panties in a twist?”

“I don’t know. Why don’t you go ask your new best friend?”

“Chato, are you jealous?” you asked, trying not to laugh.

“No, amour.”

“Liar, liar, pants on fire. Shit babe, your pants are actually on fire!”

“Dammit.” He grumbled, patting away the flames that were crawling up his pants.

You laughed, lacing your arms around his almost uncomfortably hot neck. “You’re cute when you’re jealous.”

“You’re mine Pollito.” He smirked.

“Yeah I am.”

“Oi mate! Come on! My fuckin’ beard!” Digger yelped.

“Chato Santana!” You scolded.

“Like I said, mine.”

Slutet!

anonymous asked:

can i request for headcanons of an AU where RFA has a crush on their cute neighbour? Like neighbour knocking on their door to ask for sugar etc

Yoosung:

  • I think we all know that Yoosung is the perfect kind of poor and adorable college student that could totally pull this AU off 
  • Hello, I haven’t eaten in three days and all I have in my cabinets is crackers please help
  • MC ends up cooking for him a few nights a week
  • He introduces them to LOLOL

Jaehee:

  • She’s so sweet
  • She cooks and  bakes so much and always ends up borrowing ingredients from them
  • Feels bad for using their ingredients though so she gives them some of the food she makes every time she cooks
  • She actually keeps borrowing ingredients so she can have an excuse to cook for them. 

Jumin:

  • Elizabeth is his main excuse. 
  • “Sorry I think my cat got into your house again”
  • “Jumin, it’s the third time this week” 
  • “Yes, but I think she did, so sorry”
  • “Wanna stay for dinner?”

Zen:

  • Always goes over to talk to them
  • He memorizes when they walk their dog so he can see them on the jogging route
  • Also changes his jogging route so he can pass them more often 
  • He starts to pet sit for them 
  • Surprise, they like his musicals 
  • They’ve been a fan of his for months and have been too afraid to talk to him and he feels like such an idiot 

707: 

  • He’s a wreck
  • “Hello I’m afraid my dog ran away, can you help me find him?”
  • Seven you don’t have a dog, shut up
  • “Hello, I seem to have lost my phone number, can I have yours instead”
  • “Can you come to my place for dinner some time?”
  • Great, now he just has to avoid blowing up either of their houses while trying to cook dinner
signs as cheesy pick up lines
  • aries: baby if you were words on a page, you would be FINE print
  • taurus: i seem to have lost my number. can i have yours?
  • gemini: call me nemo cause I'm not afraid to touch the butt
  • cancer: if i was a cat, i'd spend all nine lives with you
  • leo: damn if sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!
  • virgo: do you work at dick's? cause your sporting the goods
  • libra: is your dad a baker? cause you have nice buns!
  • scorpio: i was feeling a little off today, but you turned me on
  • sagittarius: are you from tennessee? cause you're the only ten i see
  • capricorn: my doctor says im lacking vitamin u
  • aquarius: if you were a booger i'd pick you first
  • pisces: whats on the menu? me-n-u
Grunkle Stan Sentence Starters
  • “Behold! The world’s most distracting object!”
  • “Now who wants to put on some blindfolds and get into my car?”
  • “My ex-wife still misses me…but her aim is gettin’ better!”
  • “Have you seen my pants?”
  • “For tonight’s final illusion, we have the incredible “Sack of Mystery.” When you put your money in, it mysteriously disappears!”
  • “Bodies change, honey. Bodies change…”
  • “I can’t find the remote and I refuse to stand up!”
  • “Can I scratch myself now?”
  • “The young people of this town want fun; I’ll smother ‘em with fun!”
  • “I will break you, little man!”
  • “When there’s no cops around, anything’s legal!”
  • “You know, studies show that keeping a ladder in the house is more dangerous than a loaded gun. That’s why I own ten guns, in case someone maniac tries to sneak in with a ladder.”
  • “My one and only dream, which was to possess money, has come true!”
  • “I was awoken by the sound of mockery. Where is it? Show me the object of ridicule!”
  • “You’re the light of my life too, pal.”
  • “Why is there a pig jumping out of my chest?!”
  • “Sorry. It’s just hard to focus on what you’re saying with that squeaky puberty voice you got there.”
  • “Thanks, beautiful woman. But I couldn’t have done it without my sidekick, Footbot.”
  • “I’m gonna teach this bear… to drive!”
  • “Sometimes, I think: Is this all there is? Is life just some kind of horrific joke without a punch line? That we’re all just biding our time until the sweet, sweet, release of death?”
  • “Yeah, nothing like sitting in a moist tub with strangers.”
  • “Yes! Burn the child!”
  • “Mm! Those cannibals are onto something. I taste delicious!”
  • “Look. It all begins with this little fella, the pituitary gland. He may be little, but he has big plans.”
  • “Finally, a good reason to punch a teenager in the face.”
  • “Darn beautiful men, always eating out of my trash… “
  • “He’s a fat, naked, jerk.”
  • “I’m not acting suspicious! You’re acting suspicious!”
  • “That picture’s taken out of context.”
  • “The entire lower half of your body is on fire.”
  • “My greatest achievement! Probably should’ve worn pants.”
  • “I don’t know what I’d do with myself if you got hurt on my watch.”
  • “They’re like pancakes, but they probably have some of my hair in them.”
  • “Is it legal for a child to wear that much make-up?”
  • “I don’t know, we’d have to break in and - Just kidding, let’s break in!!”
  • “Children fighting! I can sell this!”
  • “Sometimes, a man has to steal an animatronic badger to stay in this crazy game called life.”
  • “Can I have my hands back? I have a certain gesture I’d like to share with you.”
  • “You really think I’m a bad guy?”
  • “Wherever we go, we go together.”
  • “This is the greatest thing I’ve ever seen! And I once saw a dead rat floatin’ in a bucket!”
  • “Beep boop. I am a nerd robot. That’s you.That’s what you sound like.”
  • “I don’t need you! I don’t need anyone!”
  • “You ruined my life!”
  • “You really aren’t gonna thank me, are you?”
  • “Only a game designed by nerds would have “charisma” as a fantasy power.”
  • “For your information, I was gonna shoplift most of this.”
  • “I always say words that come out of my brain. If my head says, that lady’s got an ugly baby, my mouth says, ‘whoa, lady, you got one ugly baby.’”
  • “That llama knew too much.”
  • “So then I said to the bouncer, ‘Where’s your ID, ugly?’ That’s where I got this scar.”
  • “Oh, I seem to have lost my number! Can I borrow yours?”
  • “I don’t know. One minute we’re having the perfect date, and the next minute she’s growing extra legs and encasing me in webbing. Women, right?”
  • <p> <b>Wildcat:</b> Hey Vanoss<p/><b>Vanoss:</b> Yes?<p/><b>Wildcat:</b> I seem to have lost my number, can I have yours?;)<p/><b>Mini:</b> *pops up out of nowhere, scaring Wildcat*<p/><b>Mini:</b> *shows Wildcat his contact* Here you go bud! No need to pester Vanoss anymore! HAHAHA see you later amigo!<p/><b>Wildcat:</b> *a little speechless after that one*<p/></p>

anonymous asked:

AU: Dazai is a bad comedian and Chuuya's weaknesses are lame jokes. One night Oda, Ango and Dazai are at the bar and somehow Oda forces Dazai to the stage to crack some jokes (it's a revenge) and it gets awkward, but then everyone hears one, big chortle followed by cackling. Dazai sees a man laughing his ass off and hitting the table with his fist with a boy dressed in all black sitting besides him, looking very uncomfortable. And In that moment Dazai decides that he loves that laugh.

After he’s finished of course he goes over to talk to the cute little redhead

and of course he asks Chuuya out with a cheesy pickup line (or a few)

“Do you have a name, or can I just call you mine?” 

Chuuya laughs and tells Dazai his name, Dazai tells his own and they chat for a while. Akutagawa is left being the akuward third wheel, as usual

Eventually, Dazai says “Oh, shoot, I seem to have lost my phone number… Would you be willing to give me yours?”

Akutagawa rolls his eyes. Snorting, Chuuya prattles off his number to Dazai and Dazai puts it into his phone

“So I decided to start learning about important dates in history, and well… I was wondering if you might want to help me create one?”

Chuuya agrees on the spot.

prompt by @red-lemoncake: “Dean and Castiel are married for several years, but nonetheless Dean can’t keep himself from using bad pickup-lines and lame come-on’s all the time.”


The first time Castiel meets his future husband, Dean drops shamelessly onto the bench right across from Castiel at the diner’s table and says, with the widest smile possible, “Good morning, sunshine! May I be forward and ask what your favorite silverware is? … Because I love to spoon,” and, against all odds, Castiel finds himself charmed by the man with the beautiful eyes and poor taste in pickup-lines almost instantly. He chuckles before he can help it and Dean looks like he won some kind of amazing prize.

That’s how everything starts.

*  * 

“Hey, handsome, fancy meeting you here. Do you come here often?”

“Dean, this is our kitchen! So yes, of course I’m staying here quite often. Thank you for noticing.”

*  * 

“Hey, beautiful, I lost my underwear, can I see yours?”

“Sure. The laundry basket is in the living room. And you’re free to start folding when you’re already in the process of rummaging through it.”

*  * 

“Sexy, you are by far the hottest person on earth. Like seriously! Let me have your babies!”

“Dean, firstly, that’s anatomically impossible. And secondly, there are currently three children living in this house. I’d say that’s enough for the next one, two years, wouldn’t you agree?”

“Well …”

“Shut up and clean the dishes.”

*  *

Hey, babe, I seem to have lost my phone number. May I borrow yours?”

“Well, Dean, my cell number should be programmed in your address book since forever and we share the same landline number, so I think you’re covered.”

*  *

“So, I heard you got the hots for me, Cas! Please tell me the rumors are true!”

“I will ask around and tell you my findings. How about that? Until then you could fix the clogged toilet, it might improve my opinion of you.”

*  *

“Do you have a map? Because I keep getting lost in your eyes.”

“There is probably an app for that.”

*  *

“Are you tired? ‘Cause you’ve been running around in my mind all day.”

“Actually, I am. Thank you for pointing it out. I should lie down a bit. Are you going to take care of the kids tonight?”

“Wait, what?”

“Thank you, Dean. And don’t forget that Emma demands at least five fairy tales before bedtime. You’ll need a lot of extra time.”

Cas –”

*  *

And Castiel guesses he should have begun to be annoyed at some point, hearing those horrible pickup-lines almost every single day for years now. But instead he finds himself smiling fondly more often than not when Dean looks so damned smug everytime he comes up with something new and allegedly witty.

Moreover, Castiel knows that, although he’s joking, Dean is serious about the whole thing at the same time. He’s never been good at voicing his feelings (at least without stammering and blushing) and these phrases are helping him showing his affection toward Castiel in a verbal form.

Granted, it may be a bit unusual, but Castiel grew to love it pretty soon.

(Furthermore, it quite satisfying to see Dean’s proud grin when Castiel surprises him with a nice come-back.)

And every night, as soon as they lie in their bed, facing each other, close and intimate, and Dean puts down his easygoing attitude for the time being and whispers instead, “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, I love you so much,” in that soft voice of his, so full of love and adoration, and kisses him gently, Castiel knows that he’s the luckiest man alive.

GOT7 As Cheesy Pickup Lines

JB: I’m not a photographer, but I can picture you and me together.

Mark: I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?

Jackson: Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet ass.

Junior: Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile.

Youngjae: Do you have a map? I’m getting lost in your eyes.

BamBam: Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?

Yugyeom: I’m sorry, I don’t think we’ve met. I wouldn’t forget a pretty face like that.

  (A.N. This is my first post so I hope you guys enjoy it!! There will be more to come!)