“y/n? You’re still awake?” Dan’s voice asked sleepily and I mentally scolded myself. He probably heard me whispering to myself. It was nearly 2AM and I was still up with thoughts flooding my mind. This rarely happened, but on the occasion it did, I just for the life of me could not go to sleep. Worries, hopes, fears, anxieties and anything else my busy brain could possibly come up with. There was also the crippling fear that I could just mess everything up and I just ugh; I just want to sleep.
“Yeah, barely though.” I lied and pretended to yawn hoping he’d be too sleepy notice. I could deal with making myself suffer, but Dan’s sake didn’t deserve this.
“Oh okay.” He murmurs and rolling his head over.
After that, my mind continued into another crazy frenzy. I was maybe kind of stressed out and worried, so many things have been going wrong and nothing to plan. My brain would not shut up about all the bad things and if not bad, then all the others things that needed handling. I was stressing myself out yet I couldn’t even do anything, oh how I hate this.
“Go to freaking sleep y/n. Just go to sleep.” I told my worried mind frustratingly.
“Are you alright?” His soft natural voice with trickled with concern and I just shook my head, sighing disappointingly. Shoot, I said that out loud. Dan’s tall body curled right back over even closer to me.
“Sorry, I just can’t sleep.” I said exhaustedly but my thoughts still wouldn’t calm themselves.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Should’ve have told me.” He frowned as he pulled me closer to him into a hug, making me smile. He kissed my forehead softly and I sighed. At least if I had be wide awake, Dan was right beside me. His body was cool and breaths calmed, his soft hair was half straight and hair curly from the way he slept. I could feel his smooth cheek against my own, and I turned my lips over to his mouth.
“It’s okay, I didn’t want to bother you.” I said quietly after our kiss.
Sighing peacefully in his arms as we spooned, we were both both content with each other’s presence.
“You know how you like listening to water to go to sleep sometimes? Because you said it’s relaxing and soothing.” Dan’s voice asked suggestively and I nodded. I remember that memory clearly, me lying there with a waves playlist while Dan stared at me in confusion.
“Mhhmmm, it’s nice.” I chirped feeling his breath against my neck.
Dan then kissed my neck before his lips made their way back to my cheek.
A moment of nothingness followed where it just our breaths. He began to tuck a piece of hair behind my ear, his fingers were gentle and demeanor loving, as he proceeded to do something completely unexpected.
“Swwhhisshhhh–shhh-swwishh—” Dan’s voice quietly murmurs as I turn my face towards him, confused.
“What are you doing?” I say in a hilarious awe at my dork of a boyfriend.
“Shhh… it’s the ocean.” His voice says deeply due to the time of night it is.
“Whoooshhh-woosh,” his mouth continues to intimate wave sounds. There are breaths acting as clashing, gentle sounds ending in “sh”, followed along with my laughs.
“Drip-drop-click-click-clock-click-clock,” is what his sound changes to and just cringe with a big smile.
“What, is that supposed to be? Rain?” I giggle throwing my head back even more amused than before and Dan nods.
“Whoooshh–swisshhh-wooooOOsh-oh, oh, the waves are back! pshhhh—splash–oh no y/n they’re splashing all over us!” His face has the purest smile along with the kindest eyes that are lit through the dark. The breeze of his blowing breath, acting as the wind, reached my ears and tickled causing me to giggle.
“Oh no!” I roll my eyes and begin to play along whilst smiling like a little child.
“Drip-drop-drip-drop… now it’s raining too,” Dan says with false worry pretending to shake me.
I scoff and just totally lose it and laugh completely. This is what was happening right now, that this was happening right now because Dan wanted it to. He’s literally making water noises for me to sleep, how incredibly sweet yet odd and just completely hilarious could he be.
“What are you laughing so hard at?”
Dan asked looking at me and my dorky grin. Dan was willing to replicate ocean noises just to distract me so I could sleep.
“You and your wave sounds.” I say pecking him on the cheek.
“They’re great aren’t they? ” Dan states curiously with eagerness.
I nod, “Yes, incredible.”
I lay back flat in my bed and hope I can finally rest, but to my surprise the sound returns continues once again and I just put my hands to my face and cringe laughing quietly.
“Whooosh—wooo-swish.” He teases nipping at my ear and I finally turn bring myself to view his shadowed face.
Drawing my mouth closer to his and title gently, our lips collide smoothly as his thumb rubs circles on my hip.
“I love you. Thank you for being my ocean.” I say and he nods reassuringly.
“I love you, and I will be always be your ocean.” Dan says with a smirk while I try not to blush; it’s unsuccessful.
“Aw thanks. Even at 2 in the morning.” I say as I lay my head back into my pillow, filled with ease and joy. Dan chuckles at my statment and wraps his arm around me before continuing with he sounds once more. They were even more gentle and soothing because it was Dan offering his ocean sounds.
As he held me in his arms, I peacefully floated away into a relaxing sleep. There was no more stress since those were carried away by the ocean. There was only love and happiness brought to me my ocean, Dan Howell. He knew exactly what to do when my mind needed soothing and he did it delightfully. I giggle at the thought of it and wonder how I could’ve gotten so lucky?
Before I entirely drifted away in my pleasant and blissful slumber, there was a tender whisper spoken by Dan.
“You’re resting now, but I love you goodnight.”
you don’t have to be a jackson stan to be worried about him and see that he deserves so much better. he doesn’t have to be your bias for you to see all the hate he gets for literally everything he does and how he gives everything he has (and more) for us fans and got7 …
he’d literally sacrifice himself for got7 and us fans and yet some people have the nerve to blame it on him or to say jackson stans are overdramatic when they’re more than right speaking up about the unfairness?!
Jackson isn’t my bias but i’m worried shitless about him sometimes because he’s too kindhearted for a world like this and some of these “”“"fans”“”“ don’t give a single shit about his health or the sacrifice he’s constantly making for us and his group.
He’s one of the most caring, thoughtful, genuine, empathetic and smart people I know and he really makes the industry (and world!!) a better place for so many people… and yet he gets so much shit and taken for granted !??
a/n: i’d like to make a public announcement: frank castle owns my ass. also there’s blood and violence in this, but i mean it’s frank how can there be no blood or violence???? or maybe it’s just me and i’m a sociopath bc i love this shit i’m not sure yet.
Walking into your apartment at 4AM Frank tried to keep as quiet as possible. Much to his dismay the door squeaked as he opened it, he cringing at the sound. Frank soon went to catch the door and close it softly, but when he looked over at the bedroom to see if he woke you, you weren’t there. All of his senses were immediately on high alert, but he told himself not to panic, maybe you went to the bathroom. But when he saw the broken glass on the floor his blood began to boil. Frank was out the door in seconds, not caring if the sound of it smashing closed woke the entire building.
It’s almost 3am and I have never been one for late nights, but since you left I just can’t bring myself to close my eyes because I hate going to sleep knowing that I won’t awake with a call from you. So instead I lay awake staring at the stars and wondering why the fuck I wasn’t good enough for you.
him stay here?” your roommate questioned as you finished laying the blankets
and pillows out on the couch.
“He has nowhere
else to stay,” you murmured.
She was about to
say something more, but she pursed her lips together when the front door opened
and Ashton came back in the house with a bag over his shoulder. You cleared
your throat and your roommate shook her head, heading down the hall to her
room. Once you heard her door close, you looked back at Ashton and took a deep
“Is this going to
be enough blankets and stuff?” you asked, turning off the television.
great, thank you,” he smiled, setting his bag down on the floor and out of the
way. “Really, thank you.”
“Mhm.” You gave
him a small smile.
“I… (Y/N), I
truly am sorry for what I did,” he said quietly. “I am so sorry…”
“I need to know
if you really mean that, or if you’re just saying it now because your
reputation is ruined?” you asked, standing on the other side of the couch.
“My apology is
genuine (Y/N), I swear to you. Sure, this whole situation feeds into it, but I
do mean it…”
“So in other
words, if you hadn’t been caught, none of this would be happening right now?”
you argued and Ashton closed his eyes for a moment.
“I know you’re
“I am,” you
“Okay, so I’m
just going to go to bed then,” he said, putting his hands up and surrendering.
“Okay then,” you murmured.
finished, dropping onto the couch with his back to you.
before turning and walking down the hall to your bedroom, leaving the door open
just a crack. Just in case.
bedside table light on and your big one off, you sat on your bed and kicked
your feet up off of the floor. Laying back in your bed, you found that you were
suddenly wide awake. Your mind wouldn’t stop thinking about the man who was
currently residing on your couch. What persuaded you to allow him into your
home, you had no idea.
You closed your
eyes for a moment before grabbing your laptop, opening up Netflix for some
background noise as you attempted to try and go to sleep. You left the little
light on and your “attempt” to sleep was sitting in bed, re-watching the first
few episodes of one of your shows.
When you heard a
tapping at your bedroom door, you hit the spacebar, pausing the video.
“Yeah?” you said
Ashton poked his
head in and you raised an eyebrow up.
“Sorry, I saw
your light on when I was coming back from the bathroom,” he said slightly.
“And you thought
the best idea was to come knocking?” you questioned as he pushed the door open
a little more, leaning in the doorway.
“Just wanted to
check on ya,” he shrugged.
“Well… I’m fine
so…” You didn’t know what to do really, and he didn’t look like he was going to
move. “Do you need something?”
“Not really,” he
shook his head.
cleared your throat.
“I just wanted to
see you again… I hate going to sleep knowing someone’s angry at me,” he bit his
lip and you rolled your eyes.
“Mhm, kay. So how
long has it been since you’ve slept then?”
“What do you
mean?” Ashton shifted in the doorway.
ex-wife must be pretty pissed at you, no?” you crossed your arms.
“Yeah, but…” he
drifted off. “I don’t know. We barely spoke, didn’t sleep in the same room. We
just tried for the baby really. So it doesn’t really bother me.”
“So what about me
is different then?” you asked him after a couple seconds of just quiet.
Ashton looked up
at you, pursing his lips together. His eyes fell to the floor and you pushed
the laptop off of your lap so it was out of the way. He was quiet for longer
than either of you were comfortable with. You could practically see the gears
moving in his head.
“I don’t know the
answer to that actually,” he finally spoke. “Maybe it’s because I care about
you? Or something like that.”
“Why is me caring
about you funny?”
“Let’s see… I was
hired to be your daughters care taker, we kiss, you go down on me, your wife walks
in on us, you throw me under the bus and then you spam me with calls and now
you show up, homeless and on my couch, claiming you care about me? What about
any of that is caring Ashton? Please, please explain this to me.”
You watched as
his face fell slightly and for a moment, you regretted saying all that you did,
but you held yourself strong. You couldn’t just go giving into him just like
what I did wasn’t caring at all and all I can say is I’m sorry.”
“I know you are,”
The two of you
looked at each other for a couple moments before he pushed himself up and gave
you a small smile.
“I’m gonna head
back down to bed, see you tomorrow morning yeah?”
“Did you maybe
wanna uhm…” What were you doing? “Did you want to sleep in here? It’s a lot
more comfortable than that couch… and uhm… yeah,” you smiled slightly, chewing
asked, not believing what you were offering.
head, you pulled the blankets back on the empty side of your bed. Ashton couldn’t
believe it but he slowly came over to the bed as you slid over just a little
bit more to give him room. The bed sunk slightly as he sat down and got under
“You’re right, it’s
a lot comfier,” he chuckled, trying to make it as comfortable for the both of
“Told you,” you
chuckled, reaching over to turn the light off. “See you in the morning Ashton.
URL/blog aesthetic ficlet for @schmerzerling, who—in a shocking turn of events—requested hurt!Dean.
When Dean wakes up in the hospital with
the left side of his face clawed to shit and his depth perception permanently
shot, he doesn’t waste much time before starting in on the terrible jokes. Within hours of regaining consciousness he’s
telling Sam to “Get some sleep; I’ll keep
an eye out,”and introducing
himself to hospital staff as Harvey Dent—the
sorts of things that charm the nurses and get that irritated nerve ticking away
in Sam’s jaw, because “It’s not funny
Dean. You almost died. I thought—”
(The only time he ever stops
cracking jokes is when he’s around Cas, who’s still pretty torn up about what
happened to Dean, and even moreso over the fact he can’t heal him. Dean thinks he would almost
rather spend another year rotting in the Pit than ever again have to deal with the
guilty, kicked-puppy look Cas gets that first time Dean busts him staring at
the scars and says, jauntily, “What? Is there something on my face?”)
On the way home from the hospital,
Dean’s got a headache—ruined nerve endings setting waves of pain pulsating through
his face, throbbing deep behind his useless eye—but he tells Sam to pull over
at a roadside diner anyway. Inside, he flirts with the waitress, who doesn’t
stare at the scars or ask about the eyepatch, and who laughs at his stupid joke
about bears and hunting accidents genuinely enough that Dean can almost ignore the
way Cas flinches hard across the
table from him. She brings Dean extra slice of strawberry rhubarb pie, which he
loses along with most of his lunch soon after—kneeling in front of the
porcelain god as quietly as possible while Sam pays for their food—but he claps
Cas on the shoulder when they leave the diner anyway and says, “Still got it,
Sam rolls his eyes so hard Dean
worries he’ll get stuck that way.
(The scars heal but they’ll never be
inconspicuous, the long claw marks bisecting his face from his eyebrow to his lower
lip. The surgeons managed to save his eye, but it doesn’t do much anymore
except let in a little light when he takes the eyepatch off, milky-blue
and empty. Sometimes he gets migraines that take him out of commission for
days, or someone out in public will stare at him with that particular brand of pity and disgust
that makes him want to crawl into a cave and never come back out.)
There are good things too, though. As soon as Dean
adjusts to his new field of vision he’s behind the wheel again, despite
protests from Sam and Cas. A couple of months after Dean gets hurt they’re chasing a lead on a werewolf pack to Arizona, and as Dean leans over to change the cassette tape the car lists
suddenly toward the shoulder and Sam startles out of his skin, yells, “Jesus
Christ, Dean—both eyes on the road!”
The shocked, horrified look that
crosses his face when it dawns on him what he’s said is enough to make Dean
laugh helplessly until tears are streaming down his face. It goes on long enough that eventually Sam joins in too, and then they’re laughing together, somewhere with the sun beating hot on the blacktop and the endless
miles disappearing under them.
“Harry?” that familiar, oh so familiar sweet voice whimpered through the doorway. I froze, having the realization hit me so quickly, I nearly threw up. I closed my eyes in shame, sighing, as I took a look at my beautiful y/n. She was trying, trying so hard to not break down and cry as if it was the only thing she could do at a time like this. Her crying was something so heartbreaking to me, that I have to collect myself everytime I see her so vulnerable. Oh God, no. I did this. I caused this.
“y/n” I whispered, lightly pushing on the girl’s chest that was attached to mine, not hard enough to hurt her, but hard enough for her to slip away from me.
Five months ago. Five months ago I started to cheat on y/n with Veronica. It started out as y/n and I, only y/n and I, as Veronica was just a family friend of mine, but there were things she said that played with my mind. Veronica would purposly get me drunk, and slowly, but surely, start to convince me that there were feelings between us. I never thought that it had been possible. I never thought my feelings for y/n would ever be replaced, but unrealistic feelings started between Veronica and I, and it started progressing into something more.
There was a part of me that knew it always had to have been y/n. Always her. I just never listened to myself.
I saw y/n’s head hang low as she ran her fingers through her beautifly smoothed hair. She shook her head as she took a deep breath; collecting herself.
“I’m sorry. I’ll just, uh, I’ll just go” she gave a fake smile.
“No. Y/n, baby, this—”, I started to say, gesturing toward me and Veronica, “this is a mistake. Gosh, y/n—y/n no”.
Before she could respond, Veronica started crying. I felt her shake beside me as soft sobs rocked her back and forth. She was crying, and I didn’t even feel bad. Not once, not anything how I felt seeing y/n near tears at this moment.
“H-Harry, you said you l-loved me a-and that I was th-the only girl you have ever l-loved. Y-You can’t say I’m a mist-take, Harry. That h-hurts me” she sobbed, clutching onto my arm like she was trying to keep me in place.
My eyes shut gentely again, knowing that y/n would please anybody before pleasing herself. She’s going to let me go, and now, I’m positive of it.
I heard y/n take in a sharp breath, and I knew that if I don’t open my eyes now, I’ll never be able to see her again.
“It’s fine, I’ll go. You guys—”, y/n sucked in a breath, trying to swallow the tears daring to escape her eyes, but she was too weak. Unwanted tears had slipped out of her eyes, and she didn’t even do anything about them, “you guys love eachother too much to let go. I won’t get in the way of that anymore. I’ll have Zayn pick up my stuff for me”.
Veronica squealed, jumping onto my frame as happy tears rolled down her cheeks.
“Did you hear that, baby? After five months we finally get to be together. Just us!” she squealed again, latching onto my neck and kissing my cheek continuesly.
I didn’t stop staring at y/n, I couldn’t, knowing any second could be the last. I stiffly wrapped my arms around Veronica, not knowing what else to do, I was never getting y/n back, nothing could change her mind. I quickly blinked, hoping that when I reopened my eyes that my beautiful y/n would be right there, just waving a goodbye or something, anything, but once I opened them, I saw an empty, lonley doorway.
- Three months later -
The room was spinning around me as my head pounded through my ears. I really needed to drink more, just to stop this pain, the pain that wrapped around my heart that hasn’t stop squeezing. I feel like pain is the only thing I’ve been feeling, and only alcohol is the way to make me distract myself.
I took a long, swift swig of the toxic liquid, burning it’s way through my body. About half way through my second bottle, my head fell onto my arms, as if my own body had given up on me. This was so unsafe, but I had done this everynight that I hadn’t cared in a while. It helped me become numb, an unbelieveably beautiful feeling when you feel so close to losing yourself.
“Hey sis!” Zayn called throughout the house, as the front door snapped shut, but I didn’t even flinch. I was so drunk I could fall over my chair if I moved a muscle.
“Sissy?” Zayn questioned, walking into the kitchen, where he had found me. I heard him sigh in dissapointment. I thought he would’ve caught on after three months of finding me like this, that’s how it’ll be from now on. Although, if it were worse days than this, I’d turn to something more than alcohol. Sometimes Zayn would find me high. I’d smoke a pack a day if I didn’t have enough alcohol to satisfy me. I really shouldn’t put Zayn through all of this—him taking care of me and all, but he insists on helping me—walking me through whatever it is I need to get to the brighter side. I don’t think he’s figured out that my brighter side is where Harry is, but Harry is gone, along with any hope of happiness.
“Come on, lets get you ready for bed” he said, trying to make me move, but I barely could. My body had completely shut down, and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.
Zayn carefully lifted me, bringing my body against his as my face burried in the side of his neck. One arm held up my lower body as the other held my upper body in place so I wouldn’t fall over.
“I hate comming home and seeing this, y/n. You’re my sister, and I don’t want to find you dead one day”.
“Sorry” I slurred, barely moving my lips. I wanted to say a whole apology, but I couldn’t bring myself to it. I will, one day, once I figure out exactly what I’m sorry for.
Just then, the doorbell rang, bringing a pulsing bang to my forehead, causing me to hiss in pain. Zayn stumbled to the door, and swung it open with struggle.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” Zayn roared, tightening his grip around me. Ever since Zayn was being the overprotective brother he was, and beat Harry up the night I had caught him cheating, Zayn had made it clear to have Harry never go near the Malik family again. The guys would never hang out as a whole anymore, unless it was for recording. Zayn would always not show up to any meetings if Harry was going, and that took up most of their career.
“I just wanted to, uh—”
“Save it, Harry. We don’t want you here”.
Knowing Harry was nearly two feet away from me made me even more sad than I have been. Knowing that I was unable to touch him or hug him or kiss him the way I wanted to made my heart break in a million peices.
I weakly brought the whiskey to my lips, and took a long swig of it, hoping it will get rid of the pain that I have felt.
“God damn it, y/n, stop that”, Zayn groaned, sitting me down against the wall so he could take away the whiskey bottle, “you’ll die in a fucking year if you keep drinking like this” he muttered, making short strides to the kitchen to empty out my bottle.
No matter how odd it was to not feel a cold glass held in my hand, I was way too drunk to even fight it. I felt as if I were to pass out at any moment. I wouldn’t be shocked if I had dropped dead.
“You never used to drink” I heard Harry whisper, more to himself than to me.
“Yeah, well, she never smoked, either, but look at what you caused” Zayn spat, once he came back from the kitchen. Zayn gentely lifted my limp body up, carrying me bridal so that I could fall asleep, just like every other night.
I moaned from my headach, burrying my face in my big brother’s chest in attempt to cure it. But nothing worked. I started crying, again, just like the passed three months.
“Come on, y/n, you’re alright. Lets get you to bed” Zayn whispered, giving one last glare at Harry before walking me to the bedroom. Zayn gentely set me down on the bed before grabbing extra pillows for me.
My cries turned into strong sobs, feeling as if my life had hit me with a brick. Too much keeps on happening so quickly that I can’t keep up. I’m losing who I am, and Zayn deffinatly knows that.
“I’m going to go talk to Harry, alright? I’ll be right back” he mumbled, fixing my pillow to make it more comfortable.
“Zayn! No!” I sobbed. I hated going to sleep alone, and it makes me so sad that sometimes Zayn would have to call one of the boys to comfort me.
“Please! Don’t leave me alone! I want Harry! I want Harry!” I screamed, stiring around in my bed, my body’s way of searching for him, “Please get me Harry!”.
I screamed, I screamed so loud that it felt so good. I was screaming out every source of pain I had ever felt, screaming out what had been bundled up inside of me. I just screamed, screamed like I never have before, and it was the best feeling I’ve had in a while.
“I’m here, calm down, I’m here”, Harry cooed, wipping off all of the tears that were falling down from my face, “I’m always here. I’m always right here”.
Without any thought, I pulled Harry toward me, cuddling myself into his side. He slowly went under the covers with me, holding me like he has never held me before. I had never felt so secure in my life, whether this was the last night, or the first, it felt so damn good to have him.
“I’ll talk with you in the morning, Harry” Zayn growled, before exiting the room.
Harry tightened his grip on me, and held me against him as if I would disappear in a second.
“It’s over now, y/n. It’s done. You and me. Just you and me now”.
Everytime i get a notification that dan and/or phil have posted a video i immediately come up with some wild scenario thats like “oh predicting dans future? Wow what if phil was like "dan youre going to get married very soon!” and dans like “really?” and phils like “yes, to me” and its sO DUMB but thats always like the first thing that comes to mind
maybe it´s jut me,, but i hate going to sleep after midnight because even though i’m not a morning person, but i wake up really early… anyways… like when it hits 8pm i literally freak out because it’s getting so late and like obviously 9 is too early to go to bed but like by 10 it feel super late and if i’m not asleep by 11-11:30 at the latest its hashtag the worst
I think no will truly understand how much I hate waking up… going to sleep? Goddamn wonderful! Having to wake up to an alarm? Freaking awful… I would rather not sleep so I’d never have to wake up and start a new day… it literally stresses me that I have to wake up tomorrow and the day after…
I’m missing you more than I’ve missed anything in my entire life. I hate that with our time difference we can only talk about 3 hours of the day. I hate going to sleep knowing you’re not right next to me. But we will get through this. We will come out stronger. You are everything to me my love and 6 months is nothing compared to a lifetime with you. ❤