i-guesssssss

8

SUPER LATE SELFIES FR UR FAV DEMIGRL 

;-; I couldn’t choose a photo for tbov„„ so take all of my fav photos (I took this over the last three months omg lmao)

But!!! I’ve been so confused and lost on who I am„, and after talking to like really good friends and thinking a lot and finding myself i do identify as Demigirl and I never really talk about it because I don’t think it ever comes up„„„„„ so yeah, now you know

(HE/SHE PRONOUNS PLEASE)

not reasons, but consequences

1. It’s not that I fell out of love with you, exactly,

more that there was nobody to be in love with anymore.

You were always buried in your own past under the pretense

of digging up your demons. I guess I just

couldn’t take being in an open relationship with you and

your goddamned inferiority complex.

2. Even when you were smiling at me

your eyes were on her, all the time, constantly;

I couldn’t stand being so jealous

of somebody who wasn’t even in the fucking room.

3. You didn’t turn up to the restaurant

on our third anniversary, because her boyfriend 

broke up with her and she needed

comforting. You didn’t turn up to the house that night, either.

I stole your key and locked you out for a week;

when I finally let you back in,

you said “Honey, I’m home,”

and were somehow surprised yet

when I slapped you.

4. You treated life like it was a gun

and you were just waiting for the right time to shoot, except

the right time never came along, so you were just left

with a whole lot of bullets and disappointment.

5. Whenever we had angry sex after an argument

you always tasted like her, even if you’d been with me

all day. Some things don’t fade. Her love beneath your tongue

like a gift

is one of them.

6. When I told you I wasn’t pissed off you believed me.

This time I threw your bags out after you

when I locked the door.

7. Months later I hear from a friend:

You two are finally official. The ring is beautiful.

I throw my phone across the room so I won’t call you up, ask you

why you needed to use me as a stepping stone

to get where you wanted to go, and why you needed to step

so damn hard.

8. Even after all this time it still aches sometimes.

It’s not me, it’s you, I said when I left you.

You treat me as a stop sign while she’s

on the other side of the road, and try to make our relationship

into something that I should be blamed for.

Our love wasn’t always a crime. I shouldn’t be left

fleeing the consequences 

of loving you.

THIS IS WHAT I GET FOR LOOKING AT TUMBLR AT 5 AM FUCK YOU VICKY

Name: Jackie

Birthday: March 15

Gender: Female

Sexual Orientation: So far I’ve only crushed on guys, but girls are pretty so fuck if I know

Height: I’m like 5'5" or something, idk. I’m short as fuck.

Favorite Color: I like any shade of blue pretty much and if the color is on the dark end of the spectrum I’ll probably love it. Especially dark reds. I wear mostly black, blues, and reds so ye.

Current date and time: 6:10 am in central us time or somethin I am tired but can’t sleep so bluh also 1/10/15 forgetful fuck that I am

Last thing you googled: Okay this isn’t fair really because it should be the thousands of Dark Souls 2 lore I was looking at but no, it was how to make OBS not pixelate my DS2 recordings and I still have no answer for it so fak you google

First thing that comes to mind: I wish my headset came tomorrow instead of probably friday sobbu because I wanna record Dark Souls 2 shit so bad guys

Favorite Book(s): THIS IS A TERRIBLE QUESTION I AM DROWNING IN BOOKS but the Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel books aren’t too bad and the Demon Cycle series by Peter Brett are rad an I’m diggin the Night Angel Trilogy by Brent Weeks right now. God, this list could go on forever….

Favorite Movie(s): So pretty much anything Marvel at this point, I lurve LotR right now, Road to El Dorado and Sinbad are super great, Prince of Egypt, Quest for Camelot (the animated one with the two headed dragon- god I love it) and like SO MANY MORE MAN SO MANY

Favorite TV show(s): Ummm, Sleepy Hollow, Criminal Minds, Psych, Perception, and so many animes. So many.

Favorite drink: If it is pure sugar I will drink it all, but Barq’s Rootbeer is super tasty

Favorite alcoholic beverage: Alcohol is kind of overrated so I haven’t had enough to ever figure out a taste for it and I’m not 21 yet to even attempt drinking anything beyond a sip so yeah.

Last movie I saw in theaters: The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies. Love me some elves.

Dream holiday: Something like a Halloween themed Christmas. Like, I love Halloween, but imagine if it had all the good stuff of Christmas without all the annoying travel and dealing with shitty families and stuff. Dress up in rad costumes, free candy, gifts from close people, and so on.

Dream wedding:  I dunno, probably something kinda of small and quiet and a dark color scheme. Like I would love a black and silver dress with maybe some red or blue thrown in. Good food, tasteful music, all my close friends, the works. No idea if I’ll ever even marry so you know, never really thought about this.

Dream job: Man, I don’t even know. I love writing so that’d be cool, maybe art, maybe games, idk. I’m not outstanding at anything and I don’t know what to ever do with myself so who knows what I’d be good at.

I tag whoever the fuck wants to do this because fuck tagging I’m not a tagging whore like some people cough cough

june 1, 2013

I always wanted a family
who still believed in magic,

that mountain grandmother
with flour on her sun baked
hands and a head spun full
of fairy tales she pulled from
the earth and passed down
through her dark-headed babies.

my grandmother believes in diet pills and dress sizes.
she crows as she shrinks and shrinks
until she can fit inside of her television,

her wedding dress,

the minute spaces that her bones will allow.

I have never been able to
contain my beliefs in my body.

I have never believed in my body.

I only wanted fairies lighting fires
in the woods behind my childhood home.

I only wanted sparks and sweet-smelling
smoke that could lead me to something
greater than my lungs and my limbs.