i-genuinely-tried

anonymous asked:

ur post about fic & racism in the supergirl fandom really got me thinking (especially about my own biases so thank you) but also like, how there’s this incredibly pervasive but subtle new form of racism I haven’t seen b4 in other fandoms? Like on one hand u have this loud condemnation of how racist monel is & how he was a slave owner blabh blah but no corresponding attention given to the existing Black characters. 1/4

I get wlw not wanting to write m/f fic but a lot of the fandom doesn’t reblog (or make) any of the gifsets, they don’t meta for him they don’t call for more screen time for Mehcad. Same for M’gann. SO many posts talking about how awful monel is compare him to Lena and strangely don’t mention the Black female character who also came from an oppressive society to become a hero? And there are like, idk, 4 people? Who write or post wlw fic with M’gann in it? 2/4

Same with Maggie. A huge segment of fandom decided Floriana is white (even tho hollywood clearly won’t cast her in roles for white women) so they use that as an excuse to exclusively stan the very light skinned white wlw. And the way it carries over to the characters, like, okay Flo is white? but Maggie is absolutely treated like a woc in how parts of fandom aggressively ignore her & find ways to demonize her character while overtly supporting lighter skinned characters ¾

And that same part of the fandom doesn’t ever seem to create content for Lucy or Vasquez either. IDK this isn’t something u can probably explore with stats but ur post really got me thinking and it just feels really gross now bc I see all these posts condemning racism but there’s still this extreme perpetuation of privileging white characters at the same time? & I haven’t seen this particular trend in fandom b4 4/4

Oh, anon, this made my day. I have a bunch of notes waiting in a doc to address the whole Mon-El thing with regard to the racist undertones and the rhetoric used by the show to frame his storyline, and I will do my best to write it before the season comes back again, because I genuinely think they tried to aim high and just … missed completely. (But I make no promises because my thesis defense is on Tuesday.)

To your first point re: fandom attitudes – I was surprised in the early half of S2 when so many people came out of the woodwork making posts in the main tag like “wait, why did they get rid of Kara/James??” because, oh right, nobody acted like they cared for almost twelve straight months. If y’all were so okay with this ship, where were you to acknowledge its social significance when it was canon? Where are you now? Why hasn’t there been an outpouring of tweets week after week at the execs and the writers for sidelining an interracial couple in favor of what we’re getting, especially since the storyline literally handwaved away human trafficking and slavery as minor plot points?

Not only that, when there’s unrealized potential for a non-canon ship there is typically an outpouring of fic in response, and while there’s been a statistically significant amount of new Karolsen fic in S2 because it’s pretty easy to top zero percent, the writing there is not keeping pace with any of the other dude-involved pairings. 

And you’re right, anon: it is not possible to prove anything with stats. HOWEVER, thanks to the addition of these new characters for S2, I *am* at the point now where it’s possible to see correlation between character race and fan engagement with different pairing choices. And the bias is there, whether it’s in the het pairings, the femslash, or even the m/m pairings. The whole reason I started tracking fic outputs in the first place was that any attempt to have this conversation last year devolved into yelling and finger-pointing because “you have no proof!” that racial bias is a thing. Except, yanno, all the POC who live with it daily saying that it’s a thing. Well, congratulations y’all: your choices leave digital footprints behind that are pretty easy to follow and chart for everyone to see.

This isn’t actually a new problem, by the way – racism and preferencing of white pairing happens a lot, in almost every fandom. The only difference maybe is that I’ve experimented with quantifying it, which is not something that people usually do when they study fandoms or fan behavior.

It pains me to no end that M’gann has been so overlooked, because her story has just as many dark character beats to it as Lena’s, if not more, plus the added bonus of her sharing a sense of “otherness” with Kara in a way that few other people can. And there is no way the disinterest in that pairing isn’t about race, because there are a whole bunch of ships from S1 between white women who’d never even met each other in canon that have more romantic fics than M’gann/anyone.

And the nonsense about Floriana, which I’ll remind everyone again was started by a white girl, had a demonstrable chilling effect on interest in Sanvers as a pairing. Like. I can actually show that on paper. And you’re absolutely right with what you said above, which bears repeating: Maggie is absolutely treated like a woc in how parts of fandom aggressively ignore her & find ways to demonize her character.

There’s also a treatment of Floriana herself that reminds me uncomfortably of how people went out of their way to demonize Naya Rivera’s personal life whenever she reminded the world she was black instead of just “very tan.” And a lot of the rhetoric people are using to talk about Floriana’s racial heritage is almost verbatim the same as what you’ll find on white supremacist discussion boards about Italian people. I’d love to think this is an accident, but I’ve made some people pretty angry for pointing this out in the past, so I suspect it’s at least partially deliberate.

Lucy was another case that drove me insane, for two reasons:

  1. The vast majority of femslash fans flat-out ignored her as a romantic choice even though there were a whole lot of good reasons to ship her with either Kara or Alex, and a whole lot less negative reasons not to. (And it’s not like Supercat was already dominating the scene before Lucy’s character was introduced. That ship only became popular after the movie Carol came out during the winter hiatus of S1.)
  2. People had the same fight last year about whether or not Lucy counted as a WOC and ultimately insisted that the answer was no. But then people kept on ignoring her anyway like somehow dubiously legal boss/employee relationships, potential treason, and incest were more logical bases for attraction.

Also, to the people who have been like “oh yay we could’ve had Dichen as Maggie, a real WOC” like somehow this would have made the fandom love her more – you’re full of shit. If you mean that, why has there been so little fic about Dichen as Roulette? Like, last year there were a whole bunch of shipfics featuring Livewire. There was Kara/Siobhan. And yet … no dark scenarios of Supergirl/Roulette? No Alex ones? There were even a bucketload of those for each Danvers sister + Max Lord, and this fandom isn’t even that into dudes. You’re telling me no one is interested in this kind of hero/villain dynamic with the Asian chick and somehow that’s not also about race?

tl;dr I suspect that a decent chunk of this problem is the result of subconscious bias, but some of it’s not. And what’s really sad about it is that, for all the talk on Tumblr about representation being important, we’re really doing no better as media producers than Hollywood when it comes to race. If anything, we might actually be doing worse.

2

never let anyone stand in between you and your ambitions.

Leverage College AU

So I don’t really like high school AU’s that much, and I don’t think a Leverage one would really work. Like at least with these guys, just high school isn’t enough to truly give them a chance to become masters in their fields—they need to mature a bit.

Not to mention high school au vs college au there’d be so many more cons to do. These wouldn’t be children taking on adults, without almost any training or experience. It’d be adults vs adults, albeit adults in training, kinda. Part of the possible corruption in colleges are just how big they are. Sure, you can have a high school with maybe 5,000 students, but that’d be a small-midsized college. There are so many things to go wrong, just in their own college. Administrative issues, club issues (who has more funding, clubs trying to get approved but they keep getting blocked by someone on the administration for a bs reason), tenure—most professors are older white men, how could there not be issues—biased teachers, bribed teachers who give certain student A’s, exclusive clubs, hell cheating, test score fraud (not just SAT’s, there’s the tests you need to take for post-grad education), scholarship competition. Hell, some asshole professors make it so there’s a pre-set number of A’s in the class—do you know the kind of sabotage that could happen?

Hell, we were given an episode about an exclusive fraternity abusing a psych experiment, along with the episode about safety standards and cheerleaders. Shit happens at college.

And if they’re in a city like Philadelphia or New York City, there could be dozens of universities around. There’s not going to be a lack of people needing help.

Parker originally wasn’t supposed to be there, but the track coach once timed her running and well. They promised her lots and lots of chocolate if she actually went to school enough to be on the track team, so she got a scholarship for college. She doesn’t really care that much, but she likes math and the calculations she learns help her plan heists. The amount of times the Physics department professors have had a discussion w Parker about ‘theoretical’ issues that she brings up and. Well. It’s Parker. She also has a minor in Political Science bc she thinks it’s interesting (Listen. Remember how in the Hockey episode she knew about Schilling’s Theory of Rational Deterrence during the Cold War. I don’t make the rules Parker does.)

Also, by being on the track team she gets to travel around a lot, and it’s a readymade alibi as for why she’s in that area. She doesn’t always plan heists around the places she visits, and she goes plenty of times by herself, but it’s pretty good cover.

Since she has a scholarship, they pay for her meal plan and her housing, along w books. No, she never actually uses that room bc hello, waaaaaaaay too obvious, but that’s the point. If everyone expects her to be one place, that would be the first place they’d look for her, give her some time to get away—classic misdirection.

She has like 3 other apartments and like 4 warehouses that no one knows about that she rotates through, both sleeping AND keeping loot. But she takes the free meal plan, she doesn’t have to actually pay for them so more money for her. Not to mention some of the books have good ideas. I’m not saying she gets all A’s in her classes, but she passes.

And really, who’d think a college student is a world-renowned thief? ‘Academic’ is not exactly synonymous with that kind of crime, especially a pretty, 21 year old blonde Physics major.

She’s also a (sporadic) part of the outdoors club. What can she say—they have some pretty good climbing gear, and sometimes it can be hard to constantly get rid of gear. Just a few things—the high tech stuff she gets herself, but the basic things that aren’t easily traced to her? Yeah, it’s convenient. Plus if she’s ever caught, asking why do you have climbing gear becomes a whole lot easier to answer. Also good practice.

Nate is an Art History undergrad, Philosophy grad student who’s the team’s TA. He and Maggie were high school sweethearts, got married their junior year, Maggie had their son a few months after graduation. Nate’s now a grad student. He worked for IYS two years after graduation, interned for them every year during summers in between school and was well on his way to being their star investigator when his 3 year old son died, and they wouldn’t pay for his treatment.

He and Maggie later got divorced, and he’s back at school. They give him a stipend for school, and he doesn’t have to pay for tuition. And well. A constantly drunk Philosophy student is almost expected—he doesn’t really get in trouble with his job.

Aaaaand Hardison. Now, Hardison’s a bit more unexpected. You’d think he’d be Computer Science, but Hardison would run rings around any comp sci professor he’d have—he was only 21, tops, when the series started. Like there is not really that much of a difference between Hardison in the first season and this one in regards to computer ability. He’s a sophomore, and about 19-20.

But this is Hardison. Hardison, who isn’t just a wiz with computers—anything he touches, he can do. “I’ve hacked history” he (correctly) proclaims after figuring out a way to duplicate a 17th century journal in just 24 hours. And then there’s the time Sophie was explaining the history of a piece of art when Nate interjects, saying they already knew all of that, when Hardison interrupts, saying he doesn’t know that much before the 1980’s. Hardison’s a damn sponge when it comes to learning. The dude literally became a lawyer in one day.

So, he’s not going to be a computer science major. He wouldn’t actually learn anything from that, there’s literally 0 point. He has so many minors–an art and design minor, a music minor, and a chem minor. He’s also part of band (hello, Hardison the violin prodigy). So, he’s a mechanical engineering major—a computer, he can buy himself, but a bunch of the gadgets and gizmos he can’t get himself—or at least not easily—he can get for free at the university. Not to mention access to state of the art labs.

He mostly does it at first for his Nana, and then he finds out he genuinely loves learning. And he has a scholarship, and the cafeteria has orange soda, so everything’s all good.

And remember how excited Hardison got in the cooking episode, when he got to fire a laser? Yeah, he gets excited for all the gadgets he has access to.

But he still isn’t on the straight and narrow at all. He’s a hacker, first and foremost.

And Eliot. Oh Eliot. He’s a bit older, maybe enlisted at 17 (he kinda sorta lied), and now 22 and going to college on the GI Bill (I think that’s right). Eliot is almost more of a Jack-of-all-trades than Hardison, and it’s much more unexpected. Like in the episode they made a guy think aliens are real, he had a discussion with Hardison up Fermi’s paradox in regards to other life forms, and Eliot brings up Drake’s equation saying that with a hundred billion stars in our galaxy there’s up to 10,000 technological civilizations “you never know when you have to fight an alien.” Eliot is smart, both street smarts AND book smart and just knows a bunch about every topic. So, he double majors in Liberal Arts and minors in kinesthesiology. After going through his first semester and joining the cooking club, he also adds Culinary Science to his major.

Eliot isn’t a D1 or D3 athlete, but he does a lot of intramural and club sports. From judo to archery to badminton to table tennis, he does it all.

As for Sophie, she’s a Psych grad student, Art History/Linguistics undergrad. Yes, you’d think she’d be a Theater major, but that’s way too obvious. A grifter, who’s a Drama major? Too obvious. Yeah, the reason why Sophie never gets caught is because she never gets audition—she’s a horrible actress when people are looking. You don’t really think “great liar.” I do think she genuinely tries, but it’s also another misdirection.

So much of what Sophie does is an understanding of people, how they tick, their behavior, why they do what they do. She went to a different university for undergrad, and she’s mid 20’s—and ofc, both undergrad and grad school are using an alias. But what Sophie does is mostly enacting her interpretation of human nature. God, Sophie could come up with another approach to psychology with how much she knows, could go down in the textbooks if she wanted.

As for what she’s been doing in between, well, she has a very good cover story for that. But she needs to lie low for a little bit, and fleshing out more of an alias can always help. She developed that Charlotte Prentice alias for 7 years, it’s not out of the realm of possibility she’d do this, especially if she needs to lay low. It’s her first year at this school, and she’s not really that invested but like Parker, it can be a good cover.

She’s met Nate before, same as in the series—he’s chased after her. Although, now that he’s not working at IYS, he doesn’t really care—it’s a big school, they don’t really interact.

And just because they’re now at a university doesn’t mean the first episode would go any differently, at least at first. Or, maybe there’s a faraway professor, named Victor Dubenich, who yes, assembles the team, but doesn’t actually realize Hardison, Eliot, and Parker go to the same university as Nate—he’s much more public than the others. And maybe they don’t realize they all go to the same college, at first. Like they realize that they all live near each other, but the same college?

Because one of the advantages to being that young is that sure, you have fewer contacts and fewer scores and assets but you also have less of a record, less of a trail, fewer chances for people to find out the details of who you are.

But yes, things can get competitive in academia, especially when those plans could be sold for millions of dollars. Except, it turns out it wasn’t even from another professor. It was from a (sleep deprived) grad student.

They still take him down, and makes a seriously ridiculous amount of money. And they all enjoy it more than they thought, like what they’re doing. They start to go their own ways—except not really.

And then they walk into their Intro to Philosophy class, the one that the school requires every major to take, even Sophie, and guess who’s the TA but Nate Ford?

4

Pairing: Fili x Reader

Characters: Fíli

Warnings: Mentions of Death (Sorry)

Word Count: 2, 246 (I’m so sorry…again)

Note: This one-shot with Fíli x Reader was requested by the lovely girls who wanted a second part! Hope you guys like this one as much as the first! <3 

1. Oh my goodness!!! Please let there be a part 2 with Fili’s reaction when Kili tells him and gives him the stone!!! Please?!?!?

2. While reading this I had to like stop myself from crying because my roommate is sitting right next to my lol but yes I vote for round 2 lol

3. PLEASE!!! Please may we have a second part?!?!? 

Links: Part 1 Part 2


How unbearable it had become for me to awake alone each morning, for the past two and a half years in nothing but the dried tears of sorrow and misery to keep me company. Deeply inside, at the roots of my soul, I knew that nothing was to be the same any longer but I didn’t want to admit it. I loathed to admit it.

Why? I had pathetically questioned myself countless and numerous times. What had I done to the heavens to deserve such punishment? What had I done to anger Illuvatar?

Even the torturous, long days seemed to mock me as they took an eternity to pass by. The blowing winds did so as well, whenever I would decide to leave my house - which was once every blue moon. The winds seemed wicked as I heard them scream in my ears. There was absolutely nowhere I could go to hide myself from the rest of the world or perhaps bury my foolish deeds as deep as I could into a whole in the ground. But I was certain that even the soil of this Earth wouldn’t want to partake in my measly matters.

Therefore, I decided to do what any heartbroken, lonely woman would do - I locked myself in my own home, lay my head upon the pillow, letting the heavy slumber aid me in escaping reality. And what a crass idea that had been!  

I had jolted awake every time, with the familiar feeling of my pulsing heart hammering against my ribcage, as it seemed that at any point, my heart would break through it. My dark, luscious hair would be damply sticking to my neck and forehead and furiously, I’d rub my eyes, thinking it would make the nightmare disappear. I wouldn’t even want to begin describing the horrifying details of the same spiralling abyss that was my nightmare. But the only thing I cloud say was it always portrayed a figure that looked a lot like Fíli.

And when I got out of my bed to sit at the kitchen area, I’d clearly picture the future where Sigrid was Queen Under the Mountain and by her side, was Fíli grasping a tight hold of her hand as he’d smile handsomely at her before leaning over for a passionate kiss. 

I’d often imagine Sigrid being the mother of Fíli’s heir and he’d tolerate her little knowledge of politics for her natural beauty. And even if I’d ever cross the Durin Prince’s mind, he would only be thinking as to what had happened to me and why I had chosen to flee from Erebor. As in regard of the stone Fíli had engraved for me, it would possibly be tossed carelessly under the mountains of treasures in Erebor, where it would be forgotten.

A sudden, vigorous knock at my door, rendered me to almost spill my hot tea all over my dress. Sighing, I wipe my mouth and swiftly walk over to open the door. As I do, I try my best not to roll my eyes in utter annoyance. For heaven’s sake, I definitely need to move…

“G’day to you, (Y/N)!” Rosa and Rhoda, the twin sisters that were my rather-too-nosy neighbours greet in unison. Once I had moved to this small town at the outskirts of Bree, these two hadn’t stopped disturbing me for a long while. They claimed to know everything that happened in this town and apparently, since I had been the most interesting topic of conversation for about…well, since I had arrived, Rosa and Rhoda were determined to find out everything about my life; even if it meant inviting themselves to the doorstep of my lonely home. Which currently seemed to be the situation. 

I tried to genuinely smile at them but my eyes betrayed me. Not only that but the corners of my lips fought so hard to rest and reveal the true way I was feeling. But I couldn’t let that happen, not after realizing that everyone in this town, nicknamed me “Mysticus Mary”.

“Yes, good day to you as well, girls.” I greet as I place my hands on my hips, looking from one redhead to the other. “What can I do for you?”

“We just had gone shopping,” Rosa replied, beaming up at me, her twinkling honey-brown eyes never seizing to give me chills.

“In the market!” Rhoda exclaimed as her small hands reached to her bag and presented me with a wooden box. Quizzically, I raise my eyebrow and look between them for an answer. “It’s quite…lovely but I’m going to need more information than that.”

The girls giggle, nudging each other at the elbows before Rhoda opens the top to reveal what seemed to be some sort of board game. “It’s called deleb, it is said to be the favoured pastime of the Valar.” Although, I did not care how these girls spent their fortunes, at this moment I couldn’t help but feel a little concerned. “Do you really believe that? It’s just another trick from the seller to get you to buy it.”

“Perhaps,” Rosa replied, shrugging. “But there isn’t anything like this in this town. So, as special as it is, we thought we’d play it together.” As Rosa said this, she lightly pushed me out of the way and scurried to my living room with her sister right behind her as they giggled like innocent toddlers. Irritably, I shut the door and involuntarily made way to the living room. “This was not the way I wanted to spend my evening.” I mumble to myself.

It would be quite difficult to believe if I, the so-called mysterious woman, told anyone in town that I had spent my whole night playing this game of deleb with the two infamous taletellers. Honestly, it was a thrilling yet irksome board game with simple and straightforward rules. Throw a one, four, or six, the player received an extra turn. The player can’t land on his own pieces. The first player to get all of their pieces off the board wins the game. Yes, quite simple and it would have been much more enjoyable if I hadn’t had to play with such nettlesome girls.

Nightmares would have haunted me just the same, therefore being too scared of taking a short nap, I sat by the window pane, as night turned to dawn. This morning came with an orchestrated musical silence, one that the soul is only able to hear the melody of and the ears could not. A new day had come and many deemed it to be filled with new possibilities, a fresh page yet to be written. But not for me…

Though, like a marvellous oil painting, I did admire the daylight sent shimmering rays over the hills that are clothed in green blankets, bestowing upon them a soft, golden path. I blinked toward the sun as its crown peaked over the faraway hills, rendering me to sigh contently from the rays that soothed my heart. I was about to place my head against the glass, sleep reigning over me, when I heard a pounding knock at the door and every cell of my body grew rigid. Though, I did not know why I froze.

Slowly, I walk out of the living room, sliding the door closed, so, whatever business was going to be happening outside, it would not to wake my uninvited guests. Who was visiting me at this hour of the day? Couldn’t these people leave me in peace? As these thoughts raced through my mind, I reach to open the door.

“Alright, what is - ” I stop myself mid-sentence as my eyes immediately widened. My heart races rapidly as I’m facing a dozen dwarf guards standing in their military stance. The reason my heart was racing was not due to the fact that they were dwarves but because two of them held the bend flags depicting the royal emblem of Erebor. This could have only meant one thing…

Just as I thought, he appeared from amongst the dwarven soldiers. My breath caught in my throat and blood rushed to my face. He was wearing the crown of Erebor upon his brow and his golden hair outshone the very rays of the sun, making it cower in envy. His calloused hand rested upon the grip of his heavy sword as his azure eyes met mine. Slowly yet confidently, he invited himself into my home, strutting as he did so, but not before shouting a command to his soldiers in Khuzdul.

Once the door was shut, I wondered what he was thinking or feeling at this moment. Was he angry? Was he saddened? Or perhaps Kili had told him of my last words and he had come to ridicule me of them. Apart from that, my eyes roamed at every perfect detail of his features as if I was doing my best to memorize them once more before he’d leave me again. He seemed even more mature than he was when we had met at Bag End; stronger - I noticed as my eyes traveled southward - with hands that were capable of absolutely anything. 

The Durin Prince stepped closer to where I stood and reluctantly I stepped back, squeezing my hands together, trying my best to hold his intense gaze. That was when I realized that the light, warm blue of his eyes was replaced with a darker hue. “Do you know how long it has taken me to find you?” Fíli questions, his voice lower than his usual tone. Before I could even think of how to answer him, he adds, “Why did you leave? Without even bidding a simple farewell?”

I narrow my eyes at him. “I had told Kili - ”

“Me.” He interrupted, tersely, “Why didn’t you say goodbye to me? Was it truly that easy when you took the decision to run away?” 

“Never.” I reply, biting harshly at my trembling lip. Fíli exhaled, momentarily looking to the floor, shaking his head, then reaching to the pocket of his fur coat. The first tear broke free and it was hard for me to contain the rest as they followed in an unbroken stream. In his palm, he held what I had thought could have been casted away to the rest of the treasures.

It was the stone. Kidhuzel

“And this,” Fíli demanded, “why did you leave this behind? I thought I had told you it was yours to keep as a token.”

I shook my head, lowering my gaze, unable to look at the dwarf I loved so much, in pain. “I left it on purpose.” I whisper, hoping he hadn’t heard what I’d said. But of course as angry as Illuvatar was, he’d never side with me today.

“Why?” Fíli asked, his eyebrows knitting in confusion. Silence lingered in the air, like a thick void of my own dark shadow. Fíli grew more agitated by the second that passed, so in his authoritative voice, he orders me, “(Y/N), I want an answer.”

I sigh and swallow nervously. “Because I…I didn’t want to keep feeling the pain when I looked at it or held it.” 

Fíli frowned as I felt a fear rise inside me. “What do you mean? I made it as a symbol to represent our friendship.” 

I looked across my guest room to the burning fire in the chimney. Somehow, as of that moment, the burning flames seemed to match the same inferno I was feeling in me. “Yes, I am well aware of that.” I reply, sullenly and Fïli noticed the hesitation of my voice. “What aren’t you telling me?” He pressed, with a gravity in his voice. “(Y/N), tell me what’s troubling you.” 

My eyes blurred with tears and I furiously wiped them away, “It’s nothing.”

“Clearly not. Kili told me you were upset before you had left. He also told me that you wanted me to keep the stone.” Instantly, I look up at the handsome dwarf to meet his softened gaze. And with much doubt, I asked, “Did he tell you anything else?”

Fíli’s expression was unreadable as he nodded, making his braid-stache swing back and fro. “Aye, he said the rest as well. but I want you to say it…this time to me, not my brother.”

I made a dismissive gesture with my hand. “Does it matter now? You are married to Sigrid and you are King Under the Mountain while I am a low-life human, a daughter to a farmer.”

When Fíli made no effort to answer, I realized the grief that came in waves and threatened to consume him entirely. He was at the mercy of its whims as it engulfed him entirely: strangling his veins and cobwebbing his mind. Fíli’s grief disappeared just as quickly as it had shown. As, now, a burning rage hissed through his body as he clenched his jaw firmly and tightened his hands into fists. 

“Oh Mahal,” I swore, “Fíli, what’s happened?” I ask, moving closer to where he stood, achingly wanting to comfort him.

“Sigrid,” He murmured, “She’s died. After she’d given birth to our son.”


Clearly, there will be another part to this…cause I got way too carried away! BTW, Rosa and Rhoda are going to be on the next part, just thought I’d let you guys know, if you’d gotten confused.

Ex girlfriend troubles

Hi everyone! 
This one shot scenario has been in my head for quite a while, however @stacey–lowe gave me the idea to make it a plus size one. That isn’t the main topic of the one shot though, as I normally try to write as few descriptions of how the female lead looks as possible, so anyone can relate to it. But I definitely tried my best. :) 
Thank you so much for every like, reblog and follow! 

Summary: Harry and Y/N’s Skype call is interrupted by no one other than his ex, Kendall Jenner.

Pic sadly isn’t mine.

The tips of my fingers danced on the keys of my laptop, my hands somehow unable to keep still. My eyes kept landing on the small clock in the right corner of my computer screen, which indicated that Harry was already ten minutes late for our Skype date. Sure, ten minutes wasn’t much, but for Harry it did seem quite unusual, as he normally rather called early than late.
My teeth bit down on my bottom lip and my heart squeezed happily when (finally!) the familiar ringtone erupted and Harry’s lovely face appeared on the screen. I hastily clicked the green ‘accept’ button and smiled widely at my boyfriend appearing in front of me, a bright smile pulling at his own lips.

“Hi, love,” Harry greeted me.

His hand appeared on the screen as he pretended to reach out for mine and I blushed when my own fingers met the image of his.

“Hi, Harry.”

A giggle fell from my mouth, as his face was a little too close to the camera, the angle giving his face a slightly weird look. His nose appeared bigger, his chin flat and I could practically count his stubble.

“You forgot to shave,” I joked which had a blush rose to his face and he shook his head, rearranging his computer to bring more distance between himself and the small camera.

Harry rolled his eyes, but a smile danced on his lips, “S'not that bad yet, is it?”

“Of course not,” I giggled and lifted my hand to kiss the tips before pressing it to the image of Harry’s cheek. Harry would never be anything other than impossible not to look at.
Harry cooed at me and pretended to kiss my palm before chuckling, his deep dimples becoming visible in both cheeks. We were so sappy with each other and way too happy about it to care.

“How are you? Busy day?” he wondered, his gaze locked on mine still, the tip of his tongue sliding over his bottom lip.

“Not as much as I anticipated,” I shrugged,  "Yours?“

”'Bout the same,“ Harry yawned, "had a meeting in the morning but now I’m all free and by myself.”

“I envy you,” I chuckled, “Would’ve slept all afternoon if I were you. Although, I suppose you found better things to do in LA.”

Sometimes it almost felt strange to me, how he was enjoying the warm and sunny LA afternoon sun while I sat crossed legged on my bed, the heater on it’s highest level and my body covered in layers of shirts and jumpers. In a way it seemed as if we were in two different worlds, which I suppose, we somehow were, our laptops functioning as a connecting window.

“Is that rain I’m hearing?” Harry asked, amusement in his tone. He tilted his head and his brows knotted together as he tried to look past me and to the windows in the back.

“Yep,” I replied in a sigh, “How could it be any different in ever rainy London?”

“True,” he chuckled and ruffled his hair.

An irrational wave of jealousy cursed through me as I missed touching Harry’s hair whenever he was gone, especially since he’d cut it. Now when he let me run my fingers through the brown soft strands, the tips would scrape against the skin of his head to which he’d usually groan and lean into my hand in search for my touch.

“So,” I began, “What are you up to tonight? It’s just past noon where you are, isn’t it?”

“Not really, love, no. It’s four pm.”

He muttered something concerning my poor math skills to which I chuckled before feigning offense.

“Anyway,” Harry continued, a smile still pulling at the right corner of his mouth, “I made plans to have dinner with a friend. S'gonna be fun, for sure.”

“Sounds like it,” I replied, swallowing down the wave of envy coming over me.

Of course I was glad he had a grand group of friends to keep him company, but I couldn’t stop the thoughts racing through my head. He was my boyfriend and I wished it was me who got to spend time with him, at best, all the time! But that was impossible, of course, and I wouldn’t ever want to become an obsessive and clingy girlfriend to him. And besides, being separated made every reunion much more special.

“Who are you going with?” I asked, wondering faintly who it was he’d be spending the evening with.

“A friend. I just told you,” Harry said, dodging my question, before he stretched his arms while opening his mouth in a yawn.

“Don’t tell me you’re tired!” I scolded him with a laugh, “Weren’t you free all afternoon?”

“I was, but had to get up early, didn’t I?” Harry asked defensively.

I rolled my eyes at his words and stuck out my tongue when he pulled a face at me.
We continued to banter for a while, before our conversations ranged from a band I’d gone to see a few nights ago, to a sushi restaurant he wanted to take me to once I made it to LA with him. I watched his lips move and hands gesture along to his words, as he went on telling me of places he needed to show me, the green in his eyes sparkling whenever his orbs found mine.

“…. so yeah. That cafe made me think of you instantly. We should go.”

“I’d love that,” I answered, “And I quite like how you’re planning our first trip to LA together whenever you’re there.”

“S'gonna be soon when I won’t accept a 'no’ any longer and stuff you into my suitcase to smuggle you into the country,” he jokingly threatened, mischief in his voice.

Heat rushed to my cheeks and I looked away. Harry and I hadn’t been seeing each other for too long, yet I could already tell that what we had was something special. We deeply cared for each other, though we hadn’t precisely said it and no one made me feel as comfortable to be around them as Harry did. I wasn’t someone who had lots of guys knock onto their door, and that had caused me quite a few worries in the past. But that was before Harry, and now that I was with him, my life seemed almost too perfect to be real.

“Harry?”

I tensed when I heard a faintly familiar and female voice coming from somewhere behind Harry. He seemed to be just as surprised as I was, until his eyes found the clock on his laptop, then they widened and his teeth sank into his bottom lip. His head turned away from the camera and to the exit.

“M'in the bedroom!” he called, then he turned to me and spoke apologetically, “M'sorry, love, I completely lost track of time.”

Seconds later the woman the voice belonged to appeared behind Harry, who still sat on his mattress, and took a stand beside his bed.
Her slim figure leaned down to great Harry with a quick kiss to his soft cheek and he hummed a quiet hello, his eyes fixating on me.

“Hi, Kendall,” I greeted her, lifting my hand in a small wave whilst smiling brightly.

I couldn’t deny the small knot at the bottom of my stomach, caused by how strange it felt to see her next to Harry’s bed. A bed, she’d most likely spent quite a few nights on herself, while I hadn’t.
Jealousy however, wasn’t the right term to describe my feelings with, at least that’s what I kept repeating to myself. I couldn’t let myself feel threatened by her, or any girl Harry had been linked with before he met me. Their place was in the past and they didn’t matter anymore.

“Oh, Hi. Y/N,” Kendall replied, a kind smile forming on her lips and replacing the surprised expression so quickly I almost missed it. “I’m sorry I walked in on you guys. Did I get the time wrong, Harry?”

He shook his head, his eyes finding mine before moving to look at her. “It’s my fault. Simply lost track of it.”

“Oh, so it’s the two of you are going out for dinner tonight?” I asked, realization hitting me all of a sudden.

Kendall nodded and clutched her bag a little tighter. This new information caught me off guard and I couldn’t quite place whether or not I liked it. Harry hadn’t referred to just any friend of his, but his former  girlfriend / hookup / friend with benefits / , Kendall Jenner.
I wasn’t oblivious to Harry still spending time with some of the women he had been intimate with, and before now I had never looked at it as much of a problem. But I had never actually seen him with one of them, before and now that I knew he was going to be alone with her, it somehow did bother me.

“Y/N?” Harry spoke gently, ripping me from my thoughts.

“M'sorry, did you say something?” I asked, heat rushing to my cheeks in embarrassment.

Kendall laughed quietly and excused herself, saying she’d give us some privacy to say goodbye. Harry answered with a quick nod and turned to watch her leave. The dark hair fell in waves over her shoulder and I rolled my eyes at how her perfectly long legs carried her out of the bedroom, leaving Harry and I alone again. Only now we weren’t alone anymore, and our little world was ruined by his ex waiting for him. I refrained from asking Harry since when Kendall Jenner decided when we ended our Skype calls, and instead put on a brave face.

“So, I suppose you have to go,” I muttered, my voice laced with disappointment.

An expression of worry took over his face once he heard it and he shook his head. “No, baby, listen. I can stay and talk if you-”

“You made plans and that’s fine, Harry,” I interrupted him dismissively. Once I saw the look on his face I quickly smiled and added: “Perfect, actually. Don’t worry about it.”

Though the smile on my face was anything but genuine, I tried to make it as believable to him as I could. He shouldn’t have to worry, I’d decided. Otherwise he’d feel bad and his night would be ruined, even though he hadn’t actually given me any reason to be angry with him.

“Y/N,” he tried once more, his pleading eyes locking with mine. “Please, love. You know you’re more important to me than a dinner.”

“Of course I know that,” I replied with a quick nod, “And I’m not mad, trust me.”

By the look in his eyes I could tell he didn’t buy my reassurance and so I lifted my hand to touch my fingers to the screen.

“We can talk tomorrow if you want,” I offered calmly.

“Or tonight?” Harry proposed, his face holding a mixture of concern and hope, “once I’m back? If you’d like to, I mean. I know it’s late where you are, but we haven’t seen each other in quite a bit and I haven’t even nearly told you everything I wanted to yet, so-”

“Sure,” I agreed, a spark of happiness warming my tummy, “That would be lovely, Harry.”

….

Harry’s Pov:

“So, anyway, we thought it’d bring a great new twist to the whole thing.”

Kendall finished her story and smiled at me expectantly, oblivious to the fact that I had only heard half of what she’d said. If not less.
Y/N just wouldn’t leave my mind, the image of her face tortured me. Had she been sincere when she’d claimed it was okay for me to have dinner with Kendall? The expression on her face when she’d saw my ex girlfriend enter my bedroom indicated differently, however fleeting it had crossed her face and to be quite honest, I would loath to know Y/N was alone with someone she’d been intimate with in the past. Though Kendall and I were never anything like Y/N and I were, there had still been a connection once. And that troubled Y/N.

“Harry?”

My eyes met with the one’s of  the woman sitting in front of me. I only noticed now how I had long stopped looking at her, and forced myself to smile.

“M'sorry. I think I’m a little distracted.”

“I noticed,” Kendall commented and focused her gaze onto her menu, “Is it Y/N?”

The question was asked casually, but the faint sullen undertone didn’t go unnoticed by me.

“Yeah,” I replied with a frown.

We stayed silent for a moment before I began telling her a story Jeff had told me a few days ago. She giggled at the right parts throughout it and nodded along, then went on to talk about something else. The food was great, too, and Kendall nice. Yet once I dropped her off at her place, relief flooded my entire body.
This dinner had been a very bad idea, and now I knew I owed Y/N an apology.
I restarted the engine and quickly drove back to my apartment, hoping Y/N wasn’t asleep yet. Though she’d agreed to wait for me to call her back, it was rather late in London by this point and she’d said her day had been a busy one. I huffed and shook my head, realizing that I spent Y/N’s free evening with my ex girlfriend. From that on, my mind went ahead and played through every possible scenario in which Y/N could be furious with me.
Finally I reached my home. My laptop took its time with waking up and by the time I got to press the Skype button, my hands were sweaty. It rang and rang, but nothing. She didn’t pick up.

“Damn it,” I cursed and pushed some of my loose hair out of my face.

I tried to call her again, then tried her phone and even texted her to ask if she had changed her mind, but Y/N didn’t answer. Figuring that she might have fallen asleep already, my fingers hastily tipped one last message to her, saying that she should call me the moment she got this, no matter what time it was. Then I striped off my cloths and headed to the bathroom for a shower. I didn’t allow myself to enjoy the hot water for too long, before I turned it off and stepped back into the bedroom. Just when I was halfway through pulling a pair of boxers up my legs, my laptop rang. I jumped up and pressed accept, not caring that Y/N would see me whilst being very naked.

“Wow, I that’s not what I was expecting,” she giggled, a blush rising to her cheeks.

My heart squeezed at her words and I felt myself grin, loving how she reacted to my nudity.

“You’ve seen me in less, love,” I joked.

Y/N’s blush increased and she bit her lip, adding: “Trust me, I remember. Quite clearly, actually.”

I laughed at that and found myself thinking back to some of our more interesting moments we’d spent together. Though we hadn’t been separated for too long, my body ached and longed for her presence beside me.

“So,” Y/N began quietly, “how was dinner? You’re back earlier than I expected.”

“Yeah, well,” I scratched my head, “it was fine. Food was good and all.”

“Good.”

Y/N’s fingers played with the rings decorating them, a habit that showed whenever she was keeping some thoughts to herself. The gesture made me even more uneasy and I kept trying to figure out how I would change the subject to what I needed to know.

“Y/N?”

“Yes?”

I bit my tongue and clenched my hands. “Was it okay for me to hang out with Kendall today?”

“What?” Y/N’s brows knotted together in a frown and her soft lips parted in surprise.

I cleared my throat. “Given our history and all that. I just worried you were mad about me spending time with her. Just the two of us, you know?”

It felt good to voice the guilt which kept eating away on my insides and at this point if she’d asked me to never hang out with Kendall on my own again, I’d consider it. Hell, I’d say yes instantly.

“Oh.” Y/N bit her lip and for a moment her eyes lowered to her fingers, still playing with them.

“Baby,” I pleaded, “please be honest with me. I need to know if I overstepped a line or-”

“You didn’t, Harry,” Y/N spoke quietly. “You needn’t worry.”

She took a deep breath before locking her gaze with mine.

“I’ll admit that seeing her by your side wasn’t the best feeling, but I’m sure that’s no well kept secret. Sometimes there’s that little doubt in my head, that maybe you’ll go back to,” she hesitated, “you know … wanting her. And not me.”

I narrowed my eyes. “Love, I would never-”

“Look at me!” Y/N interrupted me, a smile pulling at the left corner of her lips, “and then look at her. We’re like… the complete opposite.”

My mouth went dry at Y/N’s words and I looked down. I knew full well that she was referring to the weight difference between her and Kendall. Something I knew she troubled herself with sometimes, though I honestly didn’t pay it any thought. Never would I have assumed she’d worry about it so much.
Kendall worked as a model, a successful one, while Y/N wasn’t what would be considered thin. She struggled with her insecurities and self esteem, while Kendall wore sheer see through cloths with her head held high. Yes, they were different, very much so, actually, but that’s how it had always been and how I liked it.
Y/N was gorgeous. Not 'despite’ her weight, or her constant worries and insecurities, and not 'only’ because what was inside that counted, but completely and fully. Y/N was so beautiful to me, I didn’t even notice what she called her 'flaws’.
Whenever she pointed out a roll on her hips, it wasn’t the first time I saw it, but she almost tried to teach me to look at it as something bad. And I hated that it was Y/N herself who pointed out the pretty features of her body and presented them as something unattractive. She never succeeded though, and later when she was asleep beside me, I kissed all the parts of her body she’d hated on throughout the day, showering them with all the love and affection they deserved.
Y/N particularly hated her stretch marks. They decorated the soft skin of her stomach and hips, a few were faintly visible on her thighs. Those got extra hate, but I never payed it too much attention, because really, what for? They didn’t make her prettier, just like they didn’t make here any uglier, either. Her body was her body. And I loved every piece of it, always.

“And you wanted her first,” Y/N finished quietly, her eyes falling from my gaze to her hands.

“Y/N,” I began with a heavy sigh, but again, she interrupted me.

“Harry, listen. I thought about it and I know I’m not what’s considered pretty and thin, and yes, I’ll admit seeing you with your pretty ex-model girlfriend didn’t give me a batch of confidence, but those are my issues and it’s not your job to fix them.”

“You’re my girlfriend,” I stressed, “Of course it’s my job to make you feel good about yourself.”

Y/N smiled softly at my words and reached out her hand to touch the screen, similar to what I had done when we talked earlier today.

“I trust you,” she said simply, her sincere eyes meeting mine, warmth returning to them, “and that little worry at the back of my head will disappear soon, I know that. It’s not my right to tell you not to hang out with her anymore-”

“But you want me to,” I interrupted.

Y/N shook her head. “No, I actually don’t.”

“Y/N,” I huffed and ruffled my hair, “You confuse me.”

“Thanks,” Y/N laughed, then she turned serious again. “You value the friendship with her, so, be her friend, Harry. I’ll get over my minor issues and just have to be fine with it. They’re only there because I love you and I’m terrified to lose you to someone. Especially Kendall, 'cause seriously, could she try to be a little less pretty?”

She rolled her eyes and I bit my lip, forcing myself to let her continue.

“But I cannot look at Kendall as a threat, or else we will always have a problem to deal with. So, yeah. Hang out with her as much as you want, and our relationship will be stronger for it, I’m sure.”

Y/N’s kind eyes met mine and I could’ve sworn my heart jumped out of my chest right there. Never had I met someone as selflessly good and wonderful as she was. Happiness had my body buzzing, as I noticed the love she held for me in her eyes. I’d seen it before, but only now had I heard it from her as well.

“You love me.”

The moment she realized what she’d said her eyes widened and her mouth fell open. If I thought her cheeks couldn’t get any redder, I was proven wrong. My own were warming, too, and I chuckled as I watched Y/N hide her face behind her palms.

“Forget that I said that,” she pleaded with me, her voice muffled and she moved her fingers a bit so I could see her eyes, “It slipped out and is a completely crazy thing to say given for how short we’ve been dating.”

“I quite like it,” I admitted, “In fact I-”

“No, no, no, Harry, please don’t say anything,” she interrupted me. “That’s something to talk about another time. This was out of the blue.”

“Did you mean it, though?” I teased her, a smile taking over my face.

“Harry,” she whined and scrunched up her nose when I laughed.

“Alright, let’s talk about something else. For example how ridiculously awkward the dinner I went to was.”

Y/N pov:

The smile was still stuck on my face, even though I had ended the Skype call with Harry about ten minutes ago. We’d continued to talk after we’d resolved the little drama from earlier and soon laughed and joked like we always did. I’d apologized for ruining dinner for him, and blushed for fifth time that night when he told me how he preferred time with me over dinner with Kendall any day of the week.
Now it was well past the time I’d originally planned on going to bed, but that was okay. Spending time with Harry was better than going to bed early anyway, and though I had (accidentally) told him that I loved him, the embarrassment had subsided rather quickly. Especially because a minute after his face disappeared from my computer screen, my phone lit up.

Though it’s ridiculously early to say this and should be talked about another time… I love you too.

Hope you enjoyed this one! I start to feel slightly bad for using Kendall’s name so often, but it works best given her relationship to Harry. Hopefully you guys aren’t sick of it yet. 
Requests and feedback is welcome! 

Rest of what I wrote can be found here: 

http://harryimaginedstories.tumblr.com/post/144920695218/masterlist

anonymous asked:

How do you make friends over apps like hello talk? I've genuinely tried and I've been left on read after like saying hello, and it puzzles me and frustrates me so much... I have anxiety which only makes things worse but yeah. sorry I needed to let this out, thanks for reading either way! Hope you're having a lovely day♡

I’ve never used that app, and I’ve seen posts where 일베 use it to target foreign girls and ask for nude pictures, so I’d suggest caution to anyone who does, although I’ve heard accounts of people meeting nice people there too, so this isn’t me defaming the app or anything. 

But even in the case you’re talking to genuine people, chances are they are more interested in learning english than they are in speaking korean, so you may have problems if you start a conversation with korean.

Additionally, in the case of many apps that are made to provide people with friends or dates, many people lose interest fast and become inactive, or are bots created by the company to make it look like there’s more people on the site.

My advice for you is to use other means of finding people to chat with. I know people who’ve found success on interpals (I had to do a school project talking to people from all over the world and had much success there myself), when it comes to serious language exchange I’d try making friends on lang-8, or using open kakao groups that are made for that purpose. 

Feel free to vent to me any time, I get how frustrating communication can be at times. 

If anyone reading this has better suggestions, please leave them in the comments for anon^^

anonymous asked:

Hi I saw your post about sense8 being racist and I wanted to know why. I'm a big fan of sense8 but I'm also a big fan of not supporting racist things so I'm genuinely curious. I tried googling why it was racist but didn't get very concrete results

most people are upset with the creator herself (lana wachowski) because she appropriates black culture (she has dreads) and she does some iffy things within the show. 

-mod cyan

Freeplay9 - Generation Two 

Alrighty I feel like moving on with Freja and Gideon so I am. It’s been a couple week since I’ve genuinely tried to play this family and I’d like to get on with the next generation. I’m really annoyed with myself cause the new file I was working on I kind of overwrote… so I lost a lot of work. I really need to be more careful when I’m backing stuff up. Anyway killed my mood to build too much more so I just built them up in a new house of their own for now.  I’m debating doing a little baby challenge this generation.  Not to any specific number, more like seeing how many can handle in the house at once. since ts4 households can get pretty involving fast and have to fun with their genes.  

Tags: freeplaynine, giddyxfeya, fp9g2

Generation One Chrono 

ok uhm heres the thing……. i really tried to get into shadowhunters because i like the cast ya know they seem chill and all but kat mcnamara’s acting was just too bad for me to handle like it physically hurt me so i only made it through 4 episodes and i apologise from the bottom of my heart like i genuinely tried to keep watching but it’s just…..ruined……

I have so much work to do today it’s not even funny.

so I’m going to do my best to keep myself off of here, and skype and discord will be closed the entire day, or at least until after I do my seminar presentation

I have kind of procrastinated this finals week but I’ve also really enjoyed myself hanging out with friends and such so…I don’t know. I feel like I should be feeling guilty but I don’t. I have genuinely tried, even if it’s not in the best way possible I really have put effort into things even if it’s not THE MAXIMUM POSSIBLE. 

I think I’ll be okay. I hope so.

3

Sam Winchester’s Journal – Entry #97


If you had asked me about The Book of the Damned a couple of months ago, the first thing that would’ve come to mind would’ve been the mythic Necronomicon Ex Mortis from the Evil Dead Series. And more particularly, the memorable scene from The Army of Darkness where the hero can’t remember the magic words Klaatu verata nikto and raises thousands of Deadites by mistake (it’s not as if Dean didn’t drive me nuts with shitty Bruce Campbell impersonations for the past 20 years). I would also have told you about a book by Charles Fort, maybe unknown to the majority of you, but apparently a reference tome for some supernatural enthusiasts out there. I’m not gonna boast about that last one as I’d never really heard about it either before my quest to remove the Mark made me consider the possibility that this volume could contain the answer to getting rid of Dean’s fucking curse.

Keep reading

possible reasons zarkon threw his life away and became the biggest pain in the ass in galactic history:

  • alfor wore the same outfit as him on picture day and looked better
  • flare jeans came back in style
  • he forgot his tumblr login so the staff deleted his canon url
  • coran got him uggs for his birthday
  • the other paladins kept posting snap stories without him
  • no one reblogged his selfies
  • justin bieber and selena gomez broke up and he couldn’t handle it
  • “zarkon we’re here to protect the universe, not conquer it” “i would very much like to be excluded from this narrative, one i have never asked to be apart of”
  • his dealer moved