i-felt-the-need-to-write-this

NO IDEA {part 2; Jimin}

My arm seemed to constantly burn. Ever since my first conversation with Jimin, it seemed like every second he had something to tell me. Whether it was about the guys’ problems or his own, I just seemed to be the person that he needed. However, it all became too much.

Jimin sat and continued to sketch out the problems on his arm. For the first time, someone was listening to his problems. He was always okay with listening to everyone else, but he felt he needed to be strong for those people. But now there was someone who was okay with listening to him. As he continued to write out his woes, he didn’t realize the lack of response.

I looked at my friends, the words appearing and the burning kept me up. I needed to sleep, I couldn’t concentrate on anything, I tried to keep up with the constant communication.

As Jimin remained hunched over his arm, Tae looked at him. Wow, you must really be hitting it off with your soulmate. Jimin looked up. Well she listens to me. Tae furrowed his brow. He watched at no writing appeared on Jimin’s arm. It remained the same as it was. Has she said anything to you?

Repreve. I sat there in your desk and for the first time in days there wasn’t a burning on my arm. No text materialized under my skin. I felt lighter.

Jimin stared at the blank canvas of his arm. Tae was right. She didn’t respond. Am I simply a burden to her? He looked at his friend with a bit of sadness in his eyes. Did I scare her away? Tae couldn’t do anything more than shrug. He didn’t know how to make Jimin feel better. Jimin was always the one that cheered everyone else up, but now Jimin’s shoulders slumped.

Breathing a sigh of relief as the minutes turned into hours. The sensation was gone and my arm remained blank. But a knot formed in my stomach. Is he okay? I began searching my desk for a stray pen as my worry grew.

The guys all sat in the living room. Jimin had locked himself in his room. No one knew what to say to him. He was their confidant, their shoulder to cry on, their ray of sunshine. Jin looked from the closed door to the guys. We have to do something. The looked at each other with resolve, but couldn’t think of anything to say.

Dear Leah who wrote to M,

Even though I’m not M, I still felt the need to write to you to tell you that you are beautiful. You are beautiful just the way you are. No one is perfect. I know how easy it is to tear your own physical appearance down for all of the things you think are imperfections, because I’ve been there before.

When I was in high school, one summer started my battle with anorexia after I had convinced myself that being thin was the solution to feeling beautiful, loved, and attractive. I was tired of being tormented by my dad about my weight, I thought no guy I ever had a crush on would like me back.

And throughout my years in high school, and part of college battling this, I realized I needed to get better for me. Not only are eating disorders detrimental to your health physically, but mentally you are in a state where you feel that you can’t stop until you achieve an unrealistic goal.

So, I made an effort to start eating again. I read articles about healthy foods, how to properly exercise and take care of your health, and the dangers of eating disorders.

Even years after…even when I was healthy and felt fit and had a boyfriend, I still didn’t feel completely happy with myself, or beautiful. It wasn’t until going through a bad breakup after, that I had to rethink everything about how I viewed life and myself, that I was finally able to accept myself as I was.

Being thin, or physically changing yourself won’t make you feel beautiful. You have to feel beautiful from within, and accept yourself. And for every person you feel that doesn’t think you’re beautiful, there will always be another person who does think you’re beautiful. But, you don’t need anyone else’s opinion to feel beautiful. You just need to love and accept yourself. You’re special and unique.

Take care,

J

One Chance

Originally posted by taestylips


Request: None, I just felt like writing :)

Length: 1,160 words

Genre: Angst/Fluff

A/N: This scenario is told from the girl’s pov and will have multiple parts. I haven’t decided how many part’s it’ll have so I’ll just keep writing until I think it needs to end.


There they were. Those two ugly pink lines. I am pregnant. God how did I let this happen? How the fuck was I gonna tell Namjoon? “Babe, you home?” Namjoon asked. I quickly wiped away my tears and walked out of the bathroom.“You okay? You don’t look too good.” Namjoon asked. “I’m fine just a little nauseous.” I said. I walked over to the fridge to grab a bottle of water when I felt his hands wrap around me. “I missed you so much Y/N. I can’t believe it’s been 4 months since we’ve seen eachother.” Namjoon said as he caressed my sides. He turned me around and begin to kiss me. As I felt the kiss heat up I immediately pulled away. “What’s wrong?” He asked.

“Nothing Namjoon, I’m fine.” I said trying to go around him. “Are you serious right now? I’ve been away for months and all I wanna do is spend time with you and once again you push me away. Now that I think about it you’ve been this way for a while. If you’re cheating please just tell me now.” Namjoon said. My heart broke.

“How can you think that? I love you Namjoon it’s just….I don’t know how to tell you this.” I said panicking. “Tell me what? What’s going on?” Namjoon asked. “Namjoon I’m pregnant.” I said. I felt relieved but also terrified. I had no idea how he would take it and it scared me. I looked at him and it looked like he’d seen a ghost. “Namjoon? Please say something.” I said walking closer to him. He slowly backed away and that hurt me so much. “I can’t believe this is happening. I can’t be a father Y/N. At least not now.” Namjoon said, “I know that this isn’t ideal but we can make this work.” I said. He started laughing and I was confused as to what was so damn funny at a time like this.

“Are you kidding me? How can this even work? My fans already hate you and our relationship, don’t you think they’d hate our child even more? Namjoon said. I was shocked that he’d say something like that to me and not have any remorse. “Why would you say that shit to me of all people. So fucking what if your fans hate me and our relationship, that never meant a damn thing to me.” I said. My blood was boiling and I really just wanted to punch him in the face. “You know what Y/N, I should have dumped your ass when Bang PD told me too. He said you’d ruin my image and cause unnecessary drama and I defended you. Now I see what he meant and I should have just listened to him. Now it’s too late and I’m fucking stuck with you.” Namjoon said. Just like that my heart completely fell to the pit of my stomach.

“Fuck you Kim Namjoon. You’re right you should have broken up with me, then maybe I could have found someone who actually loved me and didn’t think I was such an inconvenience to their life. I deserve better than this and you’re a shitty human being. Get the fuck out of my house and never comeback.” I said. I’d had enough. He had no right to talk to me or treat me that way.

“I’ll gladly leave and I definitely won’t come back. In one swift motion he grabbed his bags and walked out. I finally let out the breath I’d been holding and just collapsed on the sofa. I reached for my phone and called my best friend in New York. “Lia? Hello?” I asked as soon as she picked up the phone. “Girl it’s like 4 am here. Are you okay?” Lia asked. “God no. I told him the news and he flipped out. He told me he didn’t want the baby and then he said he should have dumped me when his boss ordered him too. I don’t get it. How did this day go from bad to worst so damn quickly? It never crossed my mind that this conversation would have went left so damn fast. I knew he didn’t want kids right now but he always told me that if I ever get pregnant before we’re ready then we’ll work it out. He went back on his word and it hurts so damn much.” I told her.

“Honestly I think this was all for the best. He really showed his true colors tonight and I don’t think raising a kid in such a hostile environment is healthy. I love you and you deserve better.” Lia said. “Thank you. I know! So what should I do?” I asked. “Well the selfish bitch in me wants you to bring your ass back to New York and move into this big ass house with me buuuut I know you probably want to stay and try to work things out for your child.” Lia said. “He doesn’t even want it so why would I stay here and try to work things out? I’ve had enough and I’m done.” I said. “GIRL ARE YOU SAYING WHAT I THINK YOU’RE SAYING?!” Lia yelled into the phone. I had to stop myself from bursting into a fit of laughter. “Yes you dumbass. I’ll move back and live with you in that big ass house.” I told her. “I can’t wait! How long will it be until you can come back?” Lia asked. “I haven’t even told my boss I was expecting so it’ll take at least a month or two for me to finish up my last few projects. However I can start shipping off some of my things back to the states next week.” I said. “Damn. Well at least you’re coming. Do you need help with anything money wise.” Lia asked.

“No I got it. Packing is gonna be a bitch though.” I said chuckling a bit. “If I could I’d fly my ass out there and help but ya know I would but these houses aren’t gonna sell themselves.” She said. “I know I know. I really needed this so thank you for talking me down.” I said. “You’re basically my sister and I will always have your back. I can’t wait until you finally return and I can have my partner in crime back. I love you and I’ll see you soon.” Lia said. We said our goodbyes and I hung up my phone. I was genuinely happy now. I could always count on her to make me feel better. I looked around my condo and nostalgia hit me like a ton of bricks. I shake my head once I feel myself about to cry. Five years of hard work, sweat, blood and tears poured into this amazing place and in just 2 months I’d be leaving it all behind. I’m really gonna miss this place.

Jeopardy, Part Two, Lafayette x Reader

Prompt: Part two to Jeopardy!

Words: 837

Author’s Note: I don’t know if you guys knew this but writing/reading angst males me feel so horrible so when people requested a sequel…well…I needed to redeem myself. Kinda inspired by this very famous scene from ‘Love Actually’. (Only kinda.)

Warnings: Talk of divorce?

Requests are open! Please send some in! Part One is here!


You trusted Lafayette with packing away your wedding dress. He said he knew somebody, and you felt much better knowing it wouldn’t be sitting in your closet collecting dust.

Especially when you filed for divorce. You wouldn’t be able to see that thing in your closet everyday.

You never thought you would even have to see it again. Then your daughter announced her engagement and insisted on having your gown tailored for the ceremony.

You didn’t argue, you simply called up your old friend, someone you hadn’t seen or spoken to in years.

He was a widow and a father. The last time you had spoken was at his wedding. That was when you were lugging around toddlers. When you still thought you were in love.

He told you he was more than happy to track it down, and gave you a time and his address. He now lived in the suburbs, a place he claimed to detest back when you shared a rather expensive, dingy apartment in the city.

He gave you a tour of his place, an empty nest as his son had started college out of state. He showed you the boxes, three off-white packages. Your dress, your veil, your shoes.

“Do you want to try them on?” He asked before he could stop himself. He forgot about the divorce, about what it could bring up in you.

“I doubt they’ll fit anymore. Thank you for keeping them safe.” You brushed it off.

He offered you a drink and you took it, laughing when he told you Jeopardy was on. You sat on his couch, just as you did all those years ago. You didn’t put your legs over his lap. He didn’t answer the questions you knew he knew the answers to.

After the first round, you sighed, staring at the boxes. Finally, you rolled your eyes, standing up and sweeping them into your arms. He showed you to a bathroom and you stood in contemplation for 15 minutes before undressing and struggling to zip the gown up.

You pushed your hair behind you ears and forced your veil onto your hair. You considered going out without your shoes, but your dress dragged uncomfortably behind you without the extra height.

You sat on the toilet seat lid as you shook the box open. Your shoes tumbled to the floor, along with several aged pieces of paper. You scrambled to pick up the first one your hands could reach. It was dated the day of your wedding.

‘My dearest, (Y/N),

I wonder if I told you how I truly feel if it would change anything at all. I doubt it will.

I couldn’t sleep last night. I couldn’t remove you from my mind. How you would look in your dress, in the arms of another man.

Will he cherish you as much as I do? Will he know every morning with you by his side is a blessing? Will he know to never let you go?

I hope this never finds you, that I never have the opportunity to give it to you. That would mean I have a chance with you, that he has broken your heart. I don’t know if I could bear the idea of someone hurting you.

I love you. More than anything.

With great affection,

Laf’

You sat in shock on the tile floor of his bathroom. You stretched to reach the other letters, reading off the dates of each one. They stretched back to the day you met, and there were at least fifty.

You stumbled to your feet, slamming the door open and stalking to the living room, nearly tripping over the skirt of your dress.

“It fits!” He said, excitedly at your entrance. He glanced down your body, before noticing the papers in your hands.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” You demanded, moving to mute Wheel of Fortune.

“I forgot they were in there.” Was his excuse.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were in love with me? Why would you hide that from me? I was your best friend! We lived together! I loved you-”

The papers were scattered from your hands as he rushed forward, capturing your lips with his. He pushed your veil away as his hands carded through your hair.

He completely towered over you and you had to force yourself onto your toes to reciprocate the kiss.

“Say it again.” He murmured, breaking the kiss for a single moment before returning to your wanting lips.

“I love you.” It came out in a jumble, but it was enough for him to stop in his tracks.

“I love you, too. I should have told you sooner.”

“No, then we wouldn’t have what we have. Our children. Our marriages. Even if they’re over, I don’t regret it.” You shook your head, realizing how silly you looked in your wedding dress, in your best friends house, with Wheel of Fortune playing in the distance.

“I don’t either. I will never regret loving you.”

2

I got this notebook when I got my new organizational notebook for the school year and as someone who has never journaled before the idea of writing something down everyday is daunting, I felt like I needed a task to make sure this one doesn’t go to waste. This quote may be corny but as someone who has a hard time finding things in my life to be grateful for, I’m hoping this will become a notebook full of good things that happen to me so when I am sad I can look back and realize it’s not all that bad.

Day Sixteen Mini

I’d alluded to this situation in Open Your Eyes, but tonight I wanted to write a bit of it.


While executing a particularly difficult step of the redowa dance, Rosamund felt her foot land strangely.  During the next step she winced and squeezed her partner’s shoulder to get his attention.  Indicating that she needed to sit out, the gentleman helped her limp off the dance floor, carefully winding through dancing couples, and to a table.  He asked her if she needed anything.  When Rosamund said no, he shifted away to another table.

Rosamund shrugged to herself, fiddling with her dance card and gingerly moving her foot under her skirts.  She knew she’d been a mere place holder for that gentleman – like she was for so many of them in her third Season.  Sighing softly, she shifted the dance card so she could read the next name.  The ball was only halfway through, and she dreaded having to sit through the rest of the evening – not that she had filled her dance card.  But the next name made her smile.

Marmaduke Painswick.

In fact, Marmaduke himself always made her smile.

As the dance ended, she applauded with the rest, then spotted Marmaduke making his way toward her, ignoring everyone else.  He approached her and took her hand, kissing the back of her glove gently.  “Ready for our next dance, Lady Rosamund?”

Shaking her head, she replied, “No, actually, Marmaduke.  I think I twisted my ankle.”

Concern filled his countenance.  “Are you sure it’s just twisted?”

“It doesn’t feel like it could be much worse.”  

“Shouldn’t you go home?  I could accompany you, if that would be acceptable.”  He squeezed her hand.

“No, no.  I couldn’t go without telling Robert, and I think he and Cora are probably hiding in the gardens by now.”  Rosamund chuckled.  As Marmaduke moved a chair closer to her and sat with her at the table, she shook her head slightly.  “You should go and be with others.  It’s a ball.  You don’t want to sit here with me.”

“I do, actually.  But, wait – would you like me to get you anything?  A glass of champagne?  Some ice for your ankle?”  He jumped up out of the chair in anticipation of any of her needs.

Rosamund grinned at him.  “Both would be appreciated, Marmaduke.”

When he returned – a little later than she expected – he put two glasses of champagne and a cloth containing ice down on the table.  As Rosamund surreptitiously drew her leg up under the cover of the long table cloth and applied ice to her stockinged ankle, Marmaduke said, “I took the chance to cancel my other dance partners.”

Her eyes growing wide, Rosamund said, “But why?”

“So I can sit with you, of course.”  He took up his glass and sipped at the champagne, his eyes landing on her fan on the table, his cheeks tinging with color.  In a lowered voice he said, “You know how I feel about you, Lady Rosamund.  It would be a pleasure to endeavor to keep you entertained while you cannot dance.”

“Marmaduke,” she said in a hushed tone, “I don’t want to be a bother.”

His eyelids lifted so his eyes could settle on hers.  “You are not a bother at all.  You’re the reason I come to these parties at all.”

Feeling her own face flush, Rosamund couldn’t pull her eyes away from his.  “Please, don’t say things like that.”

He nodded.  “As you wish, then.  But I will stay if it’s not an imposition on you.”

“No,” she smiled and shook her head.  “Not at all.”

So Marmaduke stayed with her the rest of the evening.  Not once did another lady turn his head.  And Rosamund laughed with him.

On her way home in the carriage, Rosamund finally admitted to herself what she’d long been denying – she was in love.  With Marmaduke.

And she would find a way to marry him, no matter what her mother said otherwise.

so… less tumblr time?

Hey ya’ll. I know I talked about spending less time on tumblr earlier this summer for the sake of writing time, but I’ve pretty much fallen off the wagon on that one.

I think I’m gonna give it another shot, partially because I’m getting some really great work done of The Novel right now and I really need to give it my all in the last month before I head back to school and my schedule gets bananas. 

And partially because tumblr has just been taking a lot of my resources lately. It’s been fun, too, of course - HELLO, new Ghostbusters fandom! - but running the blog has felt more like an obligation over the last few weeks, and the sheer amount of traffic in my inbox has been getting overwhelming. That’s not right. I get a lot of questions, and I love being able to answer them and help people, but this is also my blog, and it should be a fun space, not a job. 

I’m not asking anyone to stop sending asks by any means! I’m just going to be spending less time on tumblr between answers. Hopefully, free time =/= scrolling through tumblr for a while. I’ve got a novel to write and energy to put in other place.

I say that now, but maybe I’ll be back first thing tomorrow - I’m going to see Ghostbusters again tonight, and I may need to fangirl all over again ;)

Have a gr9 day, ya’ll!

On the one hand, during my evening shower, I composed a letter in my head into which I poured out all my frustration and hurt towards someone who hopefully can’t read this. Afterwards, the second I stepped out of the shower, I instantly stopped wanting to write that letter. It was a split-second moment; I simply realized that, no, it’s not worth it. And that felt good. It felt good to come to that edge and realize, no, I know what’s better for my health now. I don’t need to do this. My present is far better than what the recipient would have wanted for me, and that’s good enough.

On the other, the letter involved the phrase “you employed more gaslighting than London in a steampunk webcomic,” and I’m just a little disappointed that I’ll never get to use that phrase.

@BTS

@Min Yoongi If you thought we would get bored of the music you make, you are so not right about that. You know very well we support your music no matter what genre it is. You have gold hands, you could make a hit song even about a ringtone. Also, if you feel like you need to share your feelings with us, just do so. You can count on us. Don’t feel rushed bc of your mixtape!

@Kim Seokjin You matter, too. You may have less fans, but that doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all their heart. Thank you for your hard work, we know how much you practice dancing and despise it with all your heart lmao You’re great. Fighting! WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

@Jung Hoseok You know you don’t have to be all smiles 24/7. If you have something going on in your life, you don’t have to hold it in yourself and conceal it with happiness, having a bad day is okay, and we understand you. And just because people rarely ask this: where’s your mixtape? haha.

@Park Jimin Yah, stop thinking people love you only because of your body. Sure, it’s great but please don’t overwork yourself just for the sake of getting people to love you. You are so much more than your body. Also, thank you for always being there for the members, cheering them up when needed.

@Jeon Jungkook Being the all-rounder (or Golden Maknae) must be hard. So please don’t think that we’re expecting huge things from you. You’re still growing and learning. You don’t have to be perfect in what you do, and you might mess up in the future, or doubt yourself, but despite that, we’re all here for you. 

@Kim Namjoon You might be the god of destruction, but you’re also a great leader. You don’t just lead them, you’re on the same level with them, and you treat them as equally as yourself. You’re doing great, don’t forget we love you regardless of your choices.

@Kim Taehyung You’re a wonderful human being, from head to toe. Never forget to be yourself, even if people say mean things to you. Don’t hold back that smile, it can save lives you know. Also, thank you for being Bangtans’ emotional trash bag. You’re always there for them when they need advice.

@BTS We’re so thankful for all of you. For everything you do for us. You might think you’re not doing everything you can, but believe me when I say that you do so much more than needed. You work so hard it’s unbelievable. Please don’t overwork yourself, don’t feel rushed and enjoy what you do; because you being happy is our happiness. Don’t diet too strict, you need your energy, don’t forget to drink and rest a lot. You don’t have to come back every 2-3 months, I promise we won’t forget you even after a 6 month break. So don’t worry about that and take all the time you need. Let us live please smh The most important thing: don’t ever change just because you think something is wrong with you. There isn’t. Just be yourselves. We love you.

You all deserve to be told that you are special. You are worth it. You’re more worthy than you think you are. You deserve kindness and love. You deserve happiness and nice things. It is normal to feel down and it is normal to struggle in life and to find things hard at times but you need to remember that you are strong enough to pick yourself up and look ahead. You are a wonderful little gem that deserves the world and everything will be okay in the end. You will find the thing you are looking for, you will find the strength to pull through anything and you will come out the other end so much happier. I think there’s some people out there that just need to hear those words, “you’re going to be okay” so I’m writing this to who ever is reading it in hope that you read those words and let it sink it. Take a second to think of all the bullshit that you’re going through, think about all the tough situations you’ve had to deal with in the past, think of all the people that have left, and think about how your future holds so much more than what you have already had. People come and go. Things change and life will never stop or stay the same. Stay kind, stay humble but never let the crappy stuff get you down. You can’t rely on anyone else for your happiness. You are your own best friend. You are precious and I just think you all need to hear that.

dear boys, 

if there is one thing i ask of you while you’re on your break…
louis never lose your sparkle,
niall never stop laughing,
liam never stop believing the best in people,
and harry never let anyone stop you from being you 

sincerely, all of us x

you people/anons flipping crap over Hinkle’s post need to just stop. she was simply expressing how she feels about homosexuality & she didn’t even come close to saying she hates gays, in fact, she was saying the opposite. watching you guys throw tantrums over a girl sharing her views at a religious standpoint is hilarious. & as a Christian, I terribly disagree with homophobia and I support gay rights because God calls us to love each other as he first loved us but people can’t freak out on Hinkle and go comment nasty things on her post just because of a post that disagrees with your viewpoints. you guys go crazy when someone is judged based off of race, sexuality, disability, etc (and don’t get me wrong, I get really angry when people judge too) but then you judge Jaelene for writing a post that was meant to share her thoughts on the ongoing change in our country from her religious standpoint. please calm down.

i sincerely don’t get how you can be fan of a certain group bit still whitewash and soften photos of them to death. Why do you feel the need to be so disrespectful? you literally changed someones skin colour! or you ripped it of bcs some edits out there are just sick.Also you soften their skin so much it looks like 3D render, they have skin, and maybe sometimes you will see some unevenness.. so what they are not perfect and that’s totally fine, don’t try to portray them as some gods/goddesses who are perfect all over. It doesn’t help anyone. 

so please stop being so disrespectful and don’t rip off their skin colour. If you say you support your faves then actually do so. 

Keep reading

Three Words More

Author’s Note: Mulder’s behavior in Three Words is…well, he’s an asshole, for lack of a better description. I’ve always felt that there was a lot of potential there to explore the feelings of isolation, depression, and betrayal Mulder must have been dealing with, but the way he was portrayed in that episode, he really just came off as a jerk to a very pregnant Scully.  It was sloppy writing, and the fact that TPTB still wanted to play coy with who the baby’s father was asinine. So here’s some much-needed context.  As always, a million hugs and smoochies to my best friend and beta-extraordinaire, @piecesofscully.


Scully shifted Mulder’s half-empty duffel bag to her other shoulder and turned the key, the lock sliding away like the sound of a guillotine.  Mulder slipped by her, not bothering to take the bag from her.  She tried to ignore the pang of annoyance that flared within her as he brushed past.  The bag wasn’t heavy, but the fact that he didn’t take it from her, had allowed her to carry it up from the car, irked her.  He’d been so solicitous of her before…before.  From the outset of their partnership, Mulder had treated her as an equal, had trusted her to hold her own as an agent and as his partner, but his rigid New England-bred gallantry had always managed to shine through in small, charming ways.  She was so used to him holding the door open for her, guiding her gently with a hand rooted to the small of her back, hoisting both of their bags from the baggage carousel, that for him not to perform this small act of chivalry stung her more deeply than she cared to admit.  Just last week he was dead and buried, she silently chastised herself. She could carry his damn bag for him for once. The baby kicked at her ribs, and she grimaced.  Mulder didn’t notice.

Watching Mulder walk through his living room, the planes and angles of his body at once so familiar and so unexpected, she swallowed past her irritation, convincing herself that her frustration was just a surge of hormonal irrationality. She strode past him and set his bag down just inside his bedroom door.  The smell of Pine-Sol hung cloyingly in the air, and the dark wood of his furniture glowed in the mid-afternoon sun that shone through the open blinds, a few dust motes swirling in the wake of his careful inventory.  

“Must feel good to be home,” she said softly, when his silence was suddenly too much.  

“Mmm,” he hummed noncommittally, spinning in a slow circle, his eyes raking over his earthly possessions. “Something looks different.”  He still hadn’t met her eyes.

Scully chuffed, willing herself not to cry, and squeezed her eyes shut as tears pricked them.  It’s exactly the same, Mulder, she thought. It’s exactly the same as when you walked out that door six months ago. Your suits are still hanging in the closet.  The same stupid movie we were too busy making love to be watching is still in the VCR. Your rent is paid through the end of this year.  Your credit cards are still sending you statements, despite zero balances, because I paid them off and couldn’t bring myself to cancel them.  Your wallet is still sitting on the coffee table, for God’s sake.  I didn’t give up on you.  Can’t you see that?  “It’s clean,” she said instead. 

“Ah…that’s it.”  He walked over to the fish tank and peered in. “Missing a molly.” 

She felt her heart start to hammer.  “Yeah. She wasn’t as lucky as you.” Sensing her mounting despair, the baby shifted within her.  Scully studied him intently as he turned towards her, finally, and perched nonchalantly on the edge of his desk.  He folded his arms, looking at her expectantly, his eyes sweeping over her quickly from head to toe, pausing for a split-second on her stomach before he looked down at the ground again quickly.  

He hadn’t touched her once since he’d finally wrenched himself unsteadily from his hospital bed with the help of the occupational therapist.  After he’d been discharged from the hospital, he’d visibly flinched and pulled his hand away from hers when she’d tried to interlace their fingers as they walked out to the car.  He’d barely strung more than three words together during the five-hour drive back from North Carolina, except to remark that the Thai place on 14th Street was gone, and then again to vehemently and vocally resist her gentle prodding to stop by one of his favorite old delis for a Rueben and an iced tea for lunch.  

He hadn’t said one word about the baby, studiously avoiding her midsection when he did actually look at her.  She wondered briefly if he hadn’t done the math.  Surely, he knew…he must know.

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I’m learning. I’m learning to love myself. My crooked smile, crooked teeth, uneven eyes, chubby frame, messy hair. I’m learning to accept it. I’m slowly realizing, these are apart of me. No, it’s not what makes me. I believe what makes a person is beyond the physical appearance. It’s simply apart of me that I’m learning to love and accept.

Dear James,

Happy birthday, you saved my life and even though you don’t know me and I don’t really know you, you’re kind of my bestfriend and your never gonna read this (and I kind of hope you dont) but you are so important and you mean so much to me and thousands like me! You make people smile and for some you’re the only reason they do smile and I am being dumb and I’m being silly, but I just wanted to thank you, for everything you do and just for always being there with a new video when times get bad. Happy 24th you amazing spectacular dork.

Love, Saoirse (and thousands like her) 

stileshale  asked:

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers (◠‿◠✿)

* Because I Love You - the fic I wrote forever ago that got such a lovely, big reception and I just love what I did with it :D

* Just What He Needed - I thought I did a pretty good job in this one with Stiles’ character and taking a look at his relationship with his other friends as well as his relationship with Derek. I’m really proud of this one. 

* Never Underestimate Stiles Stilinski - I really enjoyed writing BAMF!Stiles in this one and I felt like I did a good job with the other hunter/villain characters. Plus I felt like I did a good job with the Sterek relationship in such little time.

* Where Can I Find The Condoms? - This one is pure porn, but I felt like I wrote it really really well and was proud of writing of the sexytimes in this one ;) I was like ‘damn this is hot go me’ (when I’m usually wondering if I wrote the sex scenes well or not) 

* Jealousy Doesn’t Suit You - I really like this one, I thought the way I wrote it was funny and a little heartwarming at the same time. When my own writing makes me smile or even laugh then I consider that a success. Go me! :)

the stars among us - part 1

Charlie has come to accept that weird stuff is just going to be a part of her life, but truth be told, she likes to have a comfortable break of six months to a year between the bouts of weird. But last week the sky was alight with what Dean says were falling angels, and Charlie’s busy rereading the Supernatural books about Anna and working out exactly what thousands of fallen angels means for the world – which as far as she can work out just means a few thousand extra people wandering around with amnesia and no applicable life skills.

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