Diving into Fresh Water
Again, I am behind in cross-posting my works (apparently stopping at AO3 and not posting on ffnet or here). So I am terribly sorry that these will be posting throughout Saturday, but if you’ve not read them, I hope you enjoy and share!
“Cat once told Kara she will always have a job with her. Now that she’s left CatCo, Kara is considering taking her up on the offer. That consideration leads to her realizing the true meaning behind her feelings for Cat. Needing help unraveling her feelings, Kara is afraid to once again put the focus on her own needs so rather than turning to Alex, turns to her sister’s sweet, understanding, new girlfriend, Maggie.“
Diving into Fresh Water
Kara felt lost and adrift at sea, or…space if she were to equate it with actually true experiences she had vague memories of. Her career at CatCo seemed to be plummeting, or perhaps floundering is the better turn of phrase in this instant. Winn was coming into his own at the D.E.O. becoming more confident and honing his skills, even going so far as to start some physical training with Alex. Alex…oh sweet Alex, was dating. And Kara couldn’t be happier about whom Alex was dating. Maggie seemed so sweet and protective and compassionate toward Alex. They really got each other in a way not even Kara would understand, at least in regards to their workaholic tendencies, and Alex was so much happier now!
James was being suspiciously vague and adamant toward The Guardian’s escapades and Kara was certain he was pulling away from her as though hiding something. Perhaps breaking up with him had been a poor decision no matter how wrong it felt once they were dating. It was as though he was attracted to the idea of them being together, of her being Supergirl more than her being…her. Mon-El was…frustrating at best, infuriating at worst and would never listen to her. Perhaps his working at the alien bar was a good idea for now. If he didn’t want to be a hero, see what the thrill of helping others was like, Kara decided it wasn’t her place to push him or berate him. Not any more.
Her boss was seemingly despondent and shut her down at every angle. She made her stand the other day about what type of reporter she wanted to be, a subtle comment from Snapper after she exited (because, yes she did hear) but Kara was only getting about one article a month published and it was grating on her nerves. She wanted to do more, be more useful. Never was there a dull moment as Cat’s assistant.
“ Whatever comes next—for what it’s worth—you’ll always have a job with me if you want it”
Kara was near close to damning her superior alien brain for remembering such powerful words, the urge to find Cat stronger than ever now. It had been subdued before, suppressed due to the uptick in alien attacks, of the change in job, and Alex’s personal journey, but it was always there at the back of her mind. As cliché as it sounded—accompanied by a classic Cat Grant eye roll—Cat was Kara’s compass in so many ways. She was the glue that kept Kara Danvers, ex assistant/failing reporter, and Supergirl, not feeling so super alien, together. Cat’s advice grounded her in the same way that Alex or Eliza’s hugs did, in the same way that talking about their lost worlds with J'onn felt.
But leaving CatCo to…what? Be Cat’s assistant again? That wasn’t wise decision, not when Cat had put so much expectation and pride into knowing Kara was meant to be a reporter, sending her off into the world to dive into those crazy water metaphors she was fond of. And it hadn’t helped the Cat was in that deep blue form fitting dress that night, the lights of her office casting the softest of glows on her flawless skin, the green of her eyes adding to the effect. But this was diving in a sense, right? Just…not the way everyone expected. Kara wondered for a brief moment if this is how Alex always felt in regards to Eliza. That overbearing responsibility to be the perfect daughter, be the perfect sister, be the perfect student and be the perfect doctor before things went to shit. She made a quick note to thank J'onn once more for helping save Alex’s life before she fell any further.
Perhaps it was more than a lack of helpfulness in her job, there seemed to be less passion flowing through her veins. Kara still got a rush of joy when she rescued citizens and enjoyed it very much, overhearing the previous week from Maggie that the crime rate in National City was at an all time low thanks to Supergirl. But Kara Danvers was drowning by the anchor that was her brought on responsibilities. Perhaps…perhaps she should be like Alex and do something for herself to be happy, be like Cat and dive. But that meant going after Cat.
And going after Cat would mean facing possible disappointment, possible rejection and fear gripped at Kara’s heart, a strange churning of her stomach giving her pause. She had always admired Cat, looked up to her and wished to be like her one day. Be the badass boss bitch, confident in her swagger and life to not let anything affect her overtly. It was starting to happen as Supergirl, in part because of the suit and the people she surrounded herself with at the D.E.O. but she had been wavering lately without Cat’s consistent presence. Kara had gone to the trouble of flying home in order to collect their old VHS tapes of Cat’s old show just to recall her voice. It was strange hearing the younger version, but she knew the woman so well she could hear the precise inflections that outlasted her youth and mingled with her voice at present.
Throwing her career away for a woman. Some would say that was foolish, something seen only in cheesy romcoms. But then Kara thought about her lingering looks at Cat in hip hugging dresses, dipping down to show the briefest hint of cleavage, the way her legs looked propped up in far too high heels and she realized the warmth in her body wasn’t the warmth she felt toward her friends or even her family. It was…how Alex looked talking about her crush on Maggie before they were together, it was the way Alex looked talking about Maggie now.