Diving into Fresh Water

Again, I am behind in cross-posting my works (apparently stopping at AO3 and not posting on ffnet or here). So I am terribly sorry that these will be posting throughout Saturday, but if you’ve not read them, I hope you enjoy and share!

“Cat once told Kara she will always have a job with her. Now that she’s left CatCo, Kara is considering taking her up on the offer. That consideration leads to her realizing the true meaning behind her feelings for Cat. Needing help unraveling her feelings, Kara is afraid to once again put the focus on her own needs so rather than turning to Alex, turns to her sister’s sweet, understanding, new girlfriend, Maggie.“

Diving into Fresh Water

Kara felt lost and adrift at sea, or…space if she were to equate it with actually true experiences she had vague memories of. Her career at CatCo seemed to be plummeting, or perhaps floundering is the better turn of phrase in this instant. Winn was coming into his own at the D.E.O. becoming more confident and honing his skills, even going so far as to start some physical training with Alex. Alex…oh sweet Alex, was  dating. And Kara couldn’t be happier about whom Alex was dating. Maggie seemed so sweet and protective and compassionate toward Alex. They really got each other in a way not even Kara would understand, at least in regards to their workaholic tendencies, and Alex was so much happier now!

James was being suspiciously vague and adamant toward The Guardian’s escapades and Kara was certain he was pulling away from her as though hiding something. Perhaps breaking up with him had been a poor decision no matter how wrong it felt once they were dating. It was as though he was attracted to the idea of them being together, of her being Supergirl more than her being…her. Mon-El was…frustrating at best, infuriating at worst and would never listen to her. Perhaps his working at the alien bar was a good idea for now. If he didn’t want to be a hero, see what the thrill of helping others was like, Kara decided it wasn’t her place to push him or berate him. Not any more.

Her boss was seemingly despondent and shut her down at every angle. She made her stand the other day about what type of reporter she wanted to be, a subtle comment from Snapper after she exited (because, yes she did hear) but Kara was only getting about one article a month published and it was grating on her nerves. She wanted to do more, be more useful. Never was there a dull moment as Cat’s assistant.

“ Whatever comes next—for what it’s worth—you’ll always have a job with me if you want it”

Kara was near close to damning her superior alien brain for remembering such powerful words, the urge to find Cat stronger than ever now. It had been subdued before, suppressed due to the uptick in alien attacks, of the change in job, and Alex’s personal journey, but it was always there at the back of her mind. As cliché as it sounded—accompanied by a classic Cat Grant eye roll—Cat was Kara’s compass in so many ways. She was the glue that kept Kara Danvers, ex assistant/failing reporter, and Supergirl, not feeling so super alien, together. Cat’s advice grounded her in the same way that Alex or Eliza’s hugs did, in the same way that talking about their lost worlds with J'onn felt.

But leaving CatCo to…what? Be Cat’s assistant again? That wasn’t wise decision, not when Cat had put so much expectation and pride into knowing Kara was meant to be a reporter, sending her off into the world to dive into those crazy water metaphors she was fond of. And it hadn’t helped the Cat was in that deep blue form fitting dress that night, the lights of her office casting the softest of glows on her flawless skin, the green of her eyes adding to the effect. But this was diving in a sense, right? Just…not the way everyone expected. Kara wondered for a brief moment if this is how Alex always felt in regards to Eliza. That overbearing responsibility to be the perfect daughter, be the perfect sister, be the perfect student and be the perfect doctor before things went to shit. She made a quick note to thank J'onn once more for helping save Alex’s life before she fell any further.

Perhaps it was more than a lack of helpfulness in her job, there seemed to be less passion flowing through her veins. Kara still got a rush of joy when she rescued citizens and enjoyed it very much, overhearing the previous week from Maggie that the crime rate in National City was at an all time low thanks to Supergirl. But Kara Danvers was drowning by the anchor that was her brought on responsibilities. Perhaps…perhaps she should be like Alex and do something for herself to be happy, be like Cat and dive. But that meant going after Cat.

And going after Cat would mean facing possible disappointment, possible rejection and fear gripped at Kara’s heart, a strange churning of her stomach giving her pause. She had always admired Cat, looked up to her and wished to be like her one day. Be the badass boss bitch, confident in her swagger and life to not let anything affect her overtly. It was starting to happen as Supergirl, in part because of the suit and the people she surrounded herself with at the D.E.O. but she had been wavering lately without Cat’s consistent presence. Kara had gone to the trouble of flying home in order to collect their old VHS tapes of Cat’s old show just to recall her voice. It was strange hearing the younger version, but she knew the woman so well she could hear the precise inflections that outlasted her youth and mingled with her voice at present.

Throwing her career away for a woman. Some would say that was foolish, something seen only in cheesy romcoms. But then Kara thought about her lingering looks at Cat in hip hugging dresses, dipping down to show the briefest hint of cleavage, the way her legs looked propped up in far too high heels and she realized the warmth in her body wasn’t the warmth she felt toward her friends or even her family. It was…how Alex looked talking about her crush on Maggie before they were together, it was the way Alex looked talking about Maggie now.

 Oh Rao!

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ladyrpgr  asked:

Mind sharing why you think Daddy James is a sociopath? That's one Ive not heard before and I want to know more ☺

@cameronaugust and I both felt like something was off with Daddy James but we couldn’t put a finger on it until Cam came across this Reddit post. (Though I’m not sure whether we should portray him as sociopath or psychopath, I’ll need to do some reading on that.) I’m not a fan of turning plot holes/game mechanics into personality disorders but for Mac’s story it’s better than treating him the way the game does: like an angelic karma demigod with absolutely no faults.
For now I can’t really say how well we will communicate this through our future comics - if at all, since we only have one planned with him. It’s just a “by the way” fact.

anonymous asked:

Hi I don't know if you do this or not but your blog is popular so i just wanted recommend the fic "Just to See You Again" by MellytheHun. I just read it for the fifth time and felt the need to share it with you and your followers. Warning it's a tear jerker ❤

hah! I was just telling her how awesome her fics are and here is more proof, @loserchildhotpants. - Anastasia

Originally posted by shmoo06

Just to See You Again by MellytheHun

(9/9 I 14,950 I Explicit I Sterek)

A sterek college!AU where writing student Stiles specializes in love letters, runs a blog about it and can be commissioned to write love letters on behalf of lovers who are at a loss for words.

He makes some cash, he’s good at what he does (especially when he gets to be a little more explicit in his letters), it pays for his textbooks and that’s all he’s really looking for and life is fine. That is, until someone anonymously commissions him to write a love letter to mathematics student, Derek Hale.

anonymous asked:

"You." Nico mumbled after several long minutes, during which Will actually wondered if he was going to answer at all. "It was after the war. Before it I would've left, but these past couple of months... I didn't want to even imagine leaving when you'd made it clear you wanted me to stay. Sometimes I think you just say that because I'm a patient and you need to help with my recovery, but..." Nico shook his head, frustrated. "I've never felt like I belonged anywhere before now."

Will couldn’t help but coo at the blush that rose to Nico’s cheeks. Sharing his feelings was obviously unfamiliar territory, and Will didn’t really blame him for being a little shy about it. It was still extremely pleasing for Will to hear that he had made a difference in Nico’s life. He smiled down at the younger boy, reaching out to touch his shoulder gently. Will couldn’t help it. He best connected to people through touch. “I’m really glad that I could convince you to stay. You definitely belong at camp, and I can confidently say that it’d be way different without you. I’m glad you stayed.” Nico opened his mouth to respond back when a scream pierced the air, loud and shrill.

Let’s talk about Yuuri’s and Viktor’s decisions to continue skating competitively, shall we?

Prepare for a gigantic MEGA rant just like last time when I wrote meta on Viktor after episode 10. I just have no chill because I felt the need to address it on a large scale to get lots of things cleared up. If you read to the end you’re the real mvp. So, here goes. 

It seems like this has riled up and disappointed some people, so I want to take a look at it and share my interpretation of what went through the character’s heads. I’ve seen various metas discussing it, and while I’m generally open minded and interested in various interpretations some have made me upset. Why? Because some have even suggested that their decisions were based on manipulation and emotional force directed towards each other, and it made me sad to see, for Yuuri’s and Viktor’s relationship is more beautiful than ever at this point. The narrative has built towards this conclusion from the very start. It wasn’t a last minute addition or something we couldn’t see coming. It makes perfect sense.

Let’s jump to the most integral piece of dialogue we have.

This is incredibly important, because what does it show? That despite their conflict in the hotel they were able to treat it like the mature adults they are and decide to face their future individually. I repeat that once again. Individually. Yes, Viktor and Yuuri might be in love, but they are still their own persons with their own goals and desires and they acknowledge this. Their decisions are to be made on their own will, and not to be forced or persuaded by the other. They want to face the future together, that’s obvious, but they are not about to bend themselves and compromise that future either. It’s their lives. Their choice. So they decide to reflect over it alone, and then share what they came up with. Their future is theirs and if they come up with conflicting decisions, then so be it. They both need to do what’s right and rings true to themselves

But let’s head back to the hotel, because didn’t Viktor say this?

Yeah, he does. Does that mean he was forcing Yuuri to do another season, or that he forced himself to compete for another season to manipulate Yuuri into continuing? No. For me, it does not. This is all the result of a huge misunderstanding built slowly over the course of the whole season. What misunderstanding? Well, it’s voiced rather clearly: Yuuri always planned to retire after the GPF, and Viktor had no clue. Remember this?

This scene is so sweet, and so heartbreaking. It’s so important that we even get a flashback to it later in the episode. Yuuri always planned to retire once the GPF was over, in an anxious ridden, “unselfish” (read: selfish) desire to “free” Viktor from his duties as coach. What do Viktor say in response? Basically, “I want to stay with you forever”. And Yuuri’s heart breaks because well, he loves Viktor so much and would like to stay with him forever too, but he can’t. Why? Because Yuuri thinks he’s a liability and a bother not worthy of Viktor’s time and career. It’s not true, of course, and we leave this scene with a Yuuri struggling to let go off Viktor and an overjoyed Viktor because he sees no obvious end in sight, at this point.

Which brings us back to the hotel again.

You might say that hey, doesn’t Viktor react negatively to the fact that Yuuri made an individual choice? Yeah, he does. But the reason for that was that there was literally no communication between them about this. He feels betrayed. All these months, all his love, all his passion for Yuuri, is seemingly swept out the door as if it was nothing. He loves Yuuri and wants to stay with Yuuri because Yuuri was both the door to the future and the person waiting behind it, and Viktor is not ready to be cast aside. Important to note is that Yuuri do this out of love for Viktor, because he believes it’s the right thing to do and Viktor’s happiness is his first priority. It ends up not working out the way he wants, because due to their miscommunication his will to ensure Viktor’s happiness ends up with Viktor crying. This is the last stepping stone to them becoming fully equal, which has been an important aspect in the show all the time. In the end they find a satisfying conclusion, that sacrificing yourself for your partner is not a good thing, and that they can seek happiness individually but also side by side as long as you trust your partner to make their own choice. But first, they need to have this argument.

Of course he’s mad! I’d be furious as well. But what I like about this scene is how maturely he handles his anger. There’s no over the top drama, he doesn’t scream his lungs out or smash things. He cries and slaps away Yuuri’s hand, which is entirely justified since he has a right to protect his personal space. Also take note that Yuuri touches his hair, which he has expressed concern about earlier, and that Yuuri also reveal both his eyes. It’s very intimate, and not weird at all for Viktor to force his hand away. Yuuri initially wears a look of shock on his face at this response, because Viktor has always encouraged and invited Yuuri into that personal space before. Not now, however. Yuuri is taken aback in return by Viktor’s rejection and negative response to his decision.

Oh, Yuuri. Did Viktor ever actually say this? No, he alluded that he would like to stay forever with you. I wish you’d never retire. Seeing Yuuri give up (because that’s what it is, in my eyes, supported by Yurio’s monologue) upsets him, and of course he wants to skate with Yuuri again as well. It’s the charming Katsuki Yuuri, right? Viktor wants to face him as well. On the ice, as equals. Just as Yuuri desired for the past 12 years. He had no idea Yuuri was retiring so soon, and had most likely already planned to skate with him next season at this point, or at least considered it (remember the smile in ep 8). Viktor has probably desired this more and more as Yuuri’s love slowly brought his passion for skating back. We can gradually see Viktor get more and more into what happens on the ice over the course of the season, only to peak in episode 11 when all the excitement rushes back to him through Yuuri’s skate. His life was void until Yuuri stepped into it and filled it with light, and now that light is pushing away the darkness that made everything in Viktor’s life dull and meaningless. That includes skating. Yuuri made it possible for Viktor to love skating again, and remember all the thrills it used to give him. I believe that at the start of the series Viktor has no burning desire to return to the competitive scene, but he has major character development over the course of the series, thanks to Yuuri, and this reflects in the choice he ultimately makes. He’s a changed person in the end, on to start a new chapter in his life, with Yuuri and newfound inspiration.

But still, they decide to think it over individually. They’re still upset, because now there’s a wall between them that didn’t exist before. Yuuri breaks down this wall rather excellently, but note that before his free skate, he is still very much determined to retire. Take a note of his use of “their”.

This is an important line as well, and after this things start becoming very interesting. Please head under the read more, and if you’re on the app you have my sincere apologies.

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Energy Work: Introduction to Fields Exercise

I want to start sharing more of my energy practice, here, and felt the best way to start doing that was to post an “introductory primer”. This meditation is designed to familiarize you with energy and its tactile properties. You can get some use out of this exercise regardless of your experience level (I still practice it, today), and it’s a great entry point for someone who’s never even dabbled before. All you’ll need to enjoy it is a comfortable, quiet place where you’re unlikely to be disturbed for roughly 30 minutes.

Tip: Don’t try to follow along with this text as you perform the exercise. Instead, read it in its entirety before you begin. This way, you can avoid the distraction of scrolling or flipping pages during your meditation. That will kill your focus dead.

Step 1:

To begin, sit or stand in a comfortable position. Shake yourself out, paying particular attention to your shoulders and wrists. Do this until you feel loose and relaxed.
Now, take a deep breath in, filling your lungs to the largest capacity possible. Hold the breath for a count to three, then exhale slowly, through your mouth. Concentrate on your breathing for as long as necessary to make it deep, slow and even. As you inhale, focus on the weight in the middle of your chest. Feel all the tension leave your body as you exhale. Draw your focus inwards, and feel your pulse as it travels through your body. Be still, quiet, and whole. Remain here until you are grounded and focused.

Step 2:

When you feel relaxed and grounded, raise your arms so that your elbows are up and away from your body. With your hands open, turn them so that your palms are facing each other in front of you. The palms of your hands should be roughly one foot apart, and one foot away from the core of your body.Feel your focus slowly travel from your chest, to your shoulders, and down through your arms. Sweep it down past your elbows and wrists until you are focusing on the palms of your hands. You may notice a tingling sensation, or a hyper awareness, in your fingers. Push this feeling out until you are focused on the space between your palms. 

The keyword is ‘push’. Feel a pressure building up between your hands; focus until that pressure is a dense weight.

Step 3:

With your attention still on the space between your palms, physically push them together. You should feel a slight resistance, or “bounce”. Bring your hands together and back apart rhythmically, getting a feel for that resistance. Play with the energy you have gathered there, growing it, condensing it, passing it back and forth between your hands. Get a feel for its properties. This is “you” energy. Get to know it. Take as long as you need.

Step 4:

When you are finished, draw your hands back towards the trunk of your body. Press the tension you have built up against your chest and “breathe” it back in until nothing is left externally.

Repeat the earlier breathing exercise — inhale deeply, hold for three seconds, and slowly exhale through your mouth. Focus on your breathing until it is deep and regular. Bring your focus from your hands, back to your chest. Feel the weight there.

Slowly, begin rolling your shoulders. Roll your head on your neck, and shake out your arms, dispersing any tension. Shake your wrists and hands until they are loose and free. Feel yourself slowly wake from the deep relaxation you enjoyed earlier.

When you’re finished, engage in some mundane grounding activity, such as washing up, eating, or drinking. You might enjoy journaling your experiences so that you can reference them later on.

Bad hookup survival guide

About a week ago I hooked up with someone and I felt absolutely disgusted, used, disappointed, and dirty because I wasnt comftorable, pleased, or happy with the situation and felt scared to say no so for personal reasons and recent experiences, I decided to share a personal lil guide I made that i follow after a really bad hook up.
*Reminder - this is a PERSONAL guide. What works for me may not work for you. Take what you need and leave the rest
1- Deep throating a dirty dick made me appreciate my tooth brush 10x more. I start off by brushing my teeth and flossing, followed by mouth wash. After this i’ll pour myself something to drink to calm my nerves. I recommend tea even tho i’m pouring myself a shot or 5 of vodka.

2- I’ll pick out clean and comftorable underwear, a clean bra, and a big T-shirt to change into for after my bath.

3- I’ll run my bath with warm water and dump ½ a cup of apple cider vinegar in with bath salts. I usually use lavender or eucalyptus. You best believe i’m dumping a shit load of body wash in there too, everyone knows a bubble bath is therapy.

4- I massage a deep conditioner into my scalp because that mofo yanked the shit out of my hair a little too hard and now my heads a little sore and my hairs a little knotted.

5- I scoop a generous amount of scrub and work it onto my legs, arms, belly, etc and rinse it off. At this point i’ll turn on my shower head then dose my loofah with body wash and scrub the shit out of my skin. Maybe a little too rough but it gives me the illusion that i’m washing away what the person I hooked up with did.

6- At this point I usually sit in the water to soak for a bit longer or i’ll rinse off and drain the tub and get out. I dry off and cover my body in lotion and spritz a comforting scent on (jasmine, lavender, vanilla) to get the smell of him off me.

7- after this I know my pussy is hurtin. When a guy cant get you wet and rips your dry pussy up it can take a toll on you and your pussy’s emotional health. I’ll take a wet warm wash cloth (please no soap) and gently press it on my labia for any swelling. Then i’ll rub on some coconut oil and put on my panties. No masturbating, let her chill for a bit and recover

8- ok so now that ive done all this i’ll put on my bra and Tshirt and get into bed. I like to write how i’m feeling or honestly just bawl my eyes out and remind myself of these 5 things-
~Who I sleep with doesnt define me
~How many people Ive slept with doesnt define me
~What I do in bed doesnt define me
~I am not less of a person
~I will be okay. My body will be okay. My heart will be okay.
This was kind of a messy little list I put together. Ive been meaning to write this and once I did I cant even put all my thoughts and routines into something that makes sense. But bad hook ups can really take a toll on you. They take a toll on me. And I want to give some kind of supports to others who find themselves in the same situation. Its a kind of misunderstood thing where you feel awful because you agreed to what you were doing but you still feel violated.

I want to hate you. I need to fill my heart with nothing but hate in order to demonize you. I have to push past through the two years of good memories I have of you and highlight the nights I felt alone and betrayed. I need to remember all the times I questioned whether or not you loved me and how numb I feel from everything now. I need to remind myself how happy you look in pictures as though getting rid of me never effected you.
—  Excerpt from a book I will never write #1197 // i cant ever hate you though, you were my best friend for two years and i shared so much with you. you were truly the one and although we had bad times, i will always make excuses for your behavior because i love you // excerptsofstories
I understand how hard it can be.

But you’re doing amazingly well. I promise, you’re doing far better than you think you are, and before you’ll realize it you’ll have accomplished all your goals and more.
You aren’t alone, your fight isn’t worthless, and you are so, so strong.
I’m proud of every one of you.

It’s a sigil I made some time ago. I’ve always felt ashamed and depressed when I let my feelings out or talked about things that made me happy to a person I dislike because of constant fights and trust issues. I needed something to help me and to relieve these feelings. That’s how I created the sigil. I decided to share it because it might help someone as it did to me.

Write it on your arm or leg upside-down or on a paper. Charge and use it however you want.


This is going to hurt you guys but I felt like I needed to share it


I spent my evening with people that I have known since I was 14, back when I was awkward and spent more time with teachers at social events than other kids my age. I was shy and focused all my energy into school work and sports to ignore what I felt about myself. People that have known me since before I came out as a lesbian, then queer, then trans. I hadn’t seen them since I started this transition and I was pretty nervous, but the night was perfect and exactly what I needed. Only positivity and love and goodness. The people in your life that matter only want you happy, and even as time passes they stay the same consistent rocks you can count on. tonight I was very happy, sharing that happiness with people that I count very dear to me and missed very much. ❤


I made the self-love sachet that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about, and I immediately feel more at peace. 

 I used: 




Rose petals 

Rose hips 

One medium sized rose quartz 

One small rose quartz 


Pink and white candle 

 First I lit my candles, meditated a bit, made rose sugar(it calms me down), and prepared my ingredients. I added them while truly putting the love I have for myself(represented by the medium rose quartz) into each part, but keeping in mind how important it is to love others as well(represented by the small quartz). What I said while doing this was very personal(so I won’t be sharing, but it was along the lines of I will love myself through the rough spots[represented by lovage] and I will gather my own flowers[represented by rose hips]) and these ingredients just felt very right to me, so of course you can use this and adapt it however you need.

Wheat Thins Sponsortunity

“Let me reiterate – I cannot say this too many times – that this is an actual memo from Wheat Thins that I received.”

Upon my regular rewatch of The Colbert Report I got to one of my favourite segments ever and felt the need to share. I have this on my iPhone ready to deploy for people who haven’t seen it, and I recite it word for word alongside them.

My Ultimate 40 Question Character Sheet

Disclaimer: I made this up by looking over a few different sheets and taking the questions I felt I most needed to answer. I decided to share because it really helped me out. This in no way came from my own brain.

  1. Describe your character in a few words.
  2. What do you know about your character that they don’t know yet?
  3. What are your character’s major flaws?
  4. What would your character give their life for?
  5. What is your character’s greatest asset?
  6. What would completely break your character?
  7. How does the image your character tries to project differ from the image they actually project?
  8. What is your character afraid of?
  9. Where would your character fall on a politeness/rudeness scale?
  10. If your character could choose a different identity, who would they pick?
  11. In what or whom is your character’s greatest faith in?
  12. What was the best thing in your character’s life?
  13. What was the worst thing in your character’s life?
  14. What is your character’s biggest nightmare?
  15. What seemingly insignificant memories stuck with your character?
  16. What is your character’s secret wish?
  17. What is your character’s greatest achievement?
  18. What is your character’s deepest regret?
  19. What is your character’s deepest disappointment?
  20. What is your character reluctant to tell people?
  21. What is your character hiding from themselves?
  22. What makes this character angry? What calms them?
  23. List situations in which your character would not have control over themselves.
  24. How strong is your character’s emotions? Controllable? Uncontrollable?
  25. What wakes your character up in the middle of the night?
  26. Describe a recurring dream and/or nightmare.
  27. Describe your character’s family.
  28. Name your character’s favourite person and why.
  29. How many friends does your character have?
  30. How many friends does your character want?
  31. How would a friend or close relative describe your character?
  32. Who depends on your character? Why?
  33. Who does your character most want to please? Why?
  34. How does your character feel about sex?
  35. How does your character feel about romantic relationships?
  36. If your character had to live in utter seclusion, what six items would they bring?
  37. What is your character’s most noticeable trait and most noticeable physical feature?
  38. How does your character feel about work?
  39. Write one headcanon.
  40. Write one additional thing about your character.