i-feel-like-very-very-bad

All of the good, none of the bad. My old manager (the one I liked so much) and a handful of employees from my old job moved over to the new place, which makes me happy.

I got a flexible part-time spot, so I can pick and choose shifts and pick and choose areas. The new store’s very nice, very clean and open-feeling even though there’s plenty of stuff.

I’m feeling much better.

Hi everyone. It’s about time I did this. It’s about time I work on improving my situation, even if only a little bit.

Many people know what’s going on but I’m going to put it in writing. My name is Emilia, I’m 21 and I’m trans, MtF. I live with my grandmother and great-grandmother. At the moment, I have no other options to live anywhere else. They are both very transphobic and refuse to let me transition, and my dysphoria is bad that its made me feel like mutilating myself. My relationship with both of them is abusive as well; its extremely one-sided and my mental, physical, and emotional issues are not considered important.

I’ve been going to therapy for very close to two years. In these two years, I’ve been suicidal multiple times. I don’t want to kill myself. I’ve never wanted to kill myself. But something in my brain tries to do that to me. Before I started my anti-depressant, I would suffer from auditory hallucinations. I still, on rare occasions, do. I’ve been diagnosed with major depressive disorder, general anxiety disorder, and PTSD. These keep me from doing a lot in life, and has made getting a job near impossible.

I do have a place that is willing to take me in, but they are having hard financial times and so I want to make sure that I have as much money as I can before I go over there. They’re also on the other side of the country, in British Columbia, Canada. I have no where else to go to get out of my situation outside of just walking out and playing everything by ear, and I can’t do that.

I’ve opened up commissions . Please, I need the help. I really don’t want to go with nothing. If you can’t help, please signal boost it. I know I’m hypocritical on that front considering I don’t do it often, but please.

I want to live. I want to transition. I want to be happy.

Just throwing in my two cents on the forced kiss

It wasn’t supposed to be romantic it was supposed to be pathetic.

If you look at the cues leading up to it Wang So is terrified that Hae Soo is going to leave him and push him away like everyone in his life has ever done. He obviously has feelings for her but he’s been very respectful up until that point. And very respectful after the kiss as well.

The kiss was pathetic. A very sad pathetic desperate attempt to make sure Hae Soo doesn’t leave him and you can see Wang So start to regret it right after it ends. I feel like rather than that defining his character, it shows the kind of person he used to be. Hae Soo’s words were a trigger and his own personality before he met Hae Soo, aggressive, desensitized, unable to understand others and social cues, shown through. But his behavior post kiss says a lot about the improvement he’s made.

That doesn’t mean that his behavior is okay or excusable. It does make it understandable.

anonymous asked:

i'm honestly not a huge fan of the broom closet thing, but i don't think it's harmful. it just feels like being in the closet is different from being in the broom closet in such a way that they shouldn't share a term. and it kind of feels like it's appropriating the lgbt term, but i know a lot of lgbt witches use the term and endorse it, so it can't be that bad. it's a clever pun, too. i think it's just the weird way i think about words that makes me not like it.

I respect that! To me the terms, while similar, are both very different, and imply much different things. I have been in both closets at one point and are very different but also share similarities so its not a huge deal to be, honestly. I don’t see it changing anytime soon, although if it does, I do like the term “in the woods”!

ver-ironica  asked:

I don't really understand, if it's not a derogatory version of the term--and in fact has similar meanings of being in the closet to avoid judgement and possible bad outcomes in some families--then what is the harm? Genuinely asking, sorry.

My best guess is that some members of the LGBT+ community feel that being in the closet should be exclusive to them at that its their term, which is fair, because its widely used and long been used in the LGBT+ community exclusively. Its kind of a split issue, obviously, and while I am very “call it whatever you feel like” on it, others are very against the term “in the broom closet”.

10

I feel like a subtitle to Captain America: Civil War could be Bucky and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.

“My parents brought me from Guatemala when I was fourteen. Immigration wasn’t as big of a deal back in the 70’s. When I got to New York, I joined a soccer team with players from ten different countries. And you could just go to work and nobody asked any questions. My mother worked as a housekeeper at the Hilton for forty years. I was lucky. I didn’t have too hard of a time. I got to come over on a plane. But today it’s different. Right now, as we speak, people are hiding in bushes by the border. They’re running through deserts and swimming across rivers just to feed their families. I feel very bad for them. Things are very tough for the Latino immigrant. But it’s our turn. The last one to arrive has to pay for the broken dishes. You’ve got to blame somebody for the problems. It’s been like that since the first Thanksgiving. First it was the Irish, then the Polish, then the Italians. When the war came it was the Japanese. It’s just our turn. I’ve considered myself an American since I was born. I was born in Central America so that makes me an American—you guys even try to claim the name! I love the Yankees, the Giants, and the Mets. But it’s not too important what you call me. I’m just Louis, from Guatemala, living in New York. And I’m the luckiest guy alive.”

6

終わりのセラフ Episode 1 ✩ “…Hey, that must’ve been hard. But starting today, we are your family.”

I’m just gonna say this: why is everyone mentioning Onision? Just why generally? What about other YouTubers? Why can’t people say “Zoella”? She’s nice. What about Phil. He’s a cool guy. Pewdiepie, ever heard of him? […] ‘Look at [Onision’s] videos’ no, I- okay, okay, am I gonna do this right now? I don’t like people, and it’s fine, and it’s- this is okay, and I’m not a hater, I really just don’t want to be controversial ever. Or make anybody feel sad. But, I feel like recently, a lot of people have felt like me and Phil are very popular. And they like to just talk about us to get attention from you guys. You know? And I feel like they’re using you to get attention and money for themselves, and that makes me feel bad because we love you very dearly and we appreciate you and we think that you’re kind so we don’t like anybody being exploited. So I- personally, it’s a pet peeve of mine where people just kind of are professional fans of other people to kind of leach off the fanboys but- don’t be mad. Don’t be mad. You know, if I wasn’t a big YouTuber, and I was irrelevant, would anybody care about me? That’s the question.
—  Dan Howell, September 13th 2016
3

Julian Randol looking at Alec Sadler

5

(✿ꈍ。 ꈍ✿) - A normal Pewdieken day….with a gnome gardener  shipper

____________________________________

“Booper dooper !i’m your gnome shipper !”

(Warning : Don’t feed him after midnight !//winky wonk// )

(⁎˃ᆺ˂) How to make a lame joke super funny?  LET S MAKE IT A RUNNING GAG!    8A8 

( ≧Д≦) Also. No seriously ,i was rly not pleased with this joke at all. Haha. that was rly lame. I should not even tag Jack in this. Sounds like he should not see that. But well..

____________

 Anyway !At this point ,let’s say Jack is our St.patron of the Pewdieken OTP ! Take care of them and don’t roast Felix in his sleep plz.   (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄

more hogwarts stuff
  • Unregistered animagus cat Eric Bittle prowling around Hogwarts in tiny fluffy cat form after dinner when he has nothing better to do 
  • closet cat-lover Jack Zimmermann finding him 
  • Jack: [soft gasp] 
  • Bits vaguely recognizing him as a Quidditch captain (which house? who knows) and padding over to see if he can get some ear-scratches
  • He gets the ear-scratches
  • From then on, Bits finds Jack once in a while (in the library! in the dorms! in the hallways!) and gets the love and attention that small cats deserve 
    • Jack finds petting cats very therapeutic and calming. Win-win
    • The small fluffy sunshine cat is very friendly in particular
  • Jack feels a little bad for essentially kidnapping what he thinks is someone else’s pet cat for hours every week but the cat seems chill with it so he figures it’s fine 
  • Shitty: whoa i didn’t know you had a cat
    Jack: neither did i 
  • Bits grows to really like Jack!! Too bad he’s a cat and Jack would probably freak out if he suddenly wasn’t a cat 
  • Jack really likes his unofficial cat but he’s also had his eye on this tiny blond seeker for a while now (from which house? who knows) 
  • EVENTUAL REVEAL of cat-seeker double identity
    • Defensive reasoning for why he’s animagus in the first place (everything is easier as a cat. no cat bullies)

But also: 

  • Bits the small cat loaf 
    • Jack scooping him up so they can go to a better environment for cats and people 
  • Bits the small cat napping in the sun 
    • Jack sitting beside the puddle of sunlight to study while small cat does not study and sleeps instead 
Why I Like Mindful Education (Spoilers)
  • Stevonnie singing for the 1st time in the show
  • Garnet singing with Stevonnie
  • Garnet is great.
  • Here Comes a Thought is such a beautiful song.
  • Trying to ignore a problem so you wouldn’t feel bad about yourself and not wanting to tell anyone because you’re ashamed, I feel, is a very universal experience. It hit too close to home for me.
  • The message about opening up is a very important one.
  • A lot of times, in more-action-oriented kids cartoons, you end up feeling like the child protagonist might have to have therapy at some point in the future without the show acknowledging they would have issues from dealing with that kind of stuff. This episode tackles both the psychological effects being a Crystal Gem has on Steven & Connie (by extension, Stevonnie) while giving you hope that they’ll make it out okay.
  • SYMBOLISM!!!!
  • More world-building on fusion and it’s effects on the mind under specific circumstances
  • Beautiful animation
[TRANS] SUGA x GRAZIA

q. Do you thinks you have a talent in music?
S: I don’t know about talent but I am very serious. I’m not a very energetic person (laughs). But I can’t tolerate putting no energy into my music.

q. What accessories do you like?
S: I like rings, expensive watched and other things. Not long ago it was my dream to have an expensive watch. Expensive watches were a way to show how successful you are. But I no longer have that desire. If i wear an expensive watch will people think “he’s cool”? Instead they may feel rejection. I think I have become more prudent since what I wear can give a bad influence

q. If you were to have one tattoo, what would you want?
S: A small dot on my toe

q. Pardon?
S: So it won’t be possible to see. But I don’t know. Next year I might change my mind and fill my back (with a big tattoo) (laughs)

q. How close have you become the ideal person you want to be?
S: 10%? I still have a long way to go. I want to be even cooler person.

q. How are (content of the) lyrics?
S: I want others thinking “Huh? Was he like this?” Can he use these lyrics?’ The lyrics are a big part people will may be shocked by them. However I feel happy that I was able to tell the story in my mind.

q. Why did you release a mixtape instead of an official album (through the company?)
S: If It were an album, I feel like i would be trapped in the frame of work. In addition I’d feel burdened trying to promote the company in the melon charts. I just want people to listen to my songs if they wish to. Anyway, people will not listen to more that 30 seconds if they want. There is no need to advertise and bother people saying “please listen to my song more”. So I just gave it for free (laughs)

q. What is your goal as a singer?
S: When I was a child, I listened to songs with hopeful messages. I don’t know what’s so hard at 13 years old (laughs). I want to do music like that. I want to hear people say “this friend makes really touching music. Of course it would be hard to achieve (laughs)

q. What is Min Yoongi’s goal as a human?
S: To be a good person. But how can I be a good person to everyone. That’s my desire. At least be a honest person. A person who does not lie. So in the mean time, I can live my life as I wrote my lyrics. So then in 10 to 20 years time I can stay honorable to my lyrics.

trans; @hobuing | sc; grazia (via 멜트 & 지민우유)

arin x reader fanfiction

i, the reader, was sitting on a couch with arin hanson, aka egoraptor from the very cool youtube show game grumps. he was playing ocarina of time, and i was silently watching, judging his every move. 

we sat very close together. when he turned to face me i could feel his breath tickle my skin. he smelled faintly of cinnamon and vanilla, with a hint of bacon. it was intoxicating!

once in a while i had to tear my eyes away from the TV so i could admire him. he was a very handsome man, with very many chins. together they formed a stairway up to his face, which was gently caressed by his cool and manly beard. 

his eyes were like two big brown balls, and had i been able to ignore his bad gameplay i could easily have gotten myself lost in them.

eventually i couldn’t stand it anymore. 

“take them off” i whispered into his ear. 

“w-what?” arin stuttered. 

“just please take them off, i’m begging you!” i said louder, unable to hide the desperation in my voice. 

“i don’t get what you mean” arin said, blushing slightly.

“your hover boots!” i yelled, tears streaming down my face. “please take them off, i’m begging you! why are you doing this to yourself? every level you play doesn’t have to be the ice level, just please take them off.. i can’t stand to watch this slippery nightmare anymore!”