i-feel-his-heartbreak

“I miss you. I miss your face. I miss your voice. I miss the way you would say my name. I miss your eyes and your lips. I miss the way you held my hand and the way you held me in your arms. I miss the way you put your arms around me when I sat on your lap. I miss the way you pushed my hair out of my face to see me better. I miss the way you kissed me. I miss the way you acted like I was the only girl in the world. I miss the way you played with my hair and stroked my back. I miss the way you laid on me and sang. I miss the way we cuddled and enjoyed the quiet. I miss your stupid laugh and the way you only ever seemed to do it with me. I miss the way I played with your hair. I miss the way you would kiss my forehead any chance you got. I miss the way you would look me in the eyes and kiss my hand. I miss talking to you all day, everyday. I miss your dimples and your smug face after we had been together. I miss the way you missed me as soon as I left. I miss the feelings you gave me and how happy I made you. I miss calling you my boyfriend and I miss the fuzziness I got when you called me your girlfriend.

And I know I should be over you, like the way you’re over me, but everytime I think I am, I hear a song or read something and I’m right back there. Back where I shouldn’t be. Back where you’re ever so clearly not.

All I want is for you to be happy. And if that means with another girl, so be it. I just know I can’t be in your life if that’s so, it will break my heart a little bit more everytime I see you. And I can’t live like that.

I guess I cared for you more than I thought. And I already knew I cared for you a great deal.”

—  An exert from a message I’ll never send him…
8

They don’t see my face any more, only hands that hold out coin to them.
                                  The faceless king. So be it…

every once in a while I think about Ugo’s life and cry a little

it just.
breaks my heart.

(uncontrolled rambling from here on out)

There’s this guy, an adult man with such little self-esteem and confidence in his own amazing abilities because apparently the first person who ever offered him not mockery, but appreciation, encouragement and friendship was a little boy who dragged him out of a depressed, apathetic daze when he was what? Around 45 years old???

That kid became his best friend and the source of strength, and some years of growing confidence and hope later, it’s all going to shit again.
His world is falling apart.
All of his friends are falling apart too, and in the end all of them die; by either being brutally slaughtered (and him blaming himself for not being good enough to save them, just when he thought he was actually good for something), even killing each other, or sacrificing themselves.

All that he’s left with is a devastated world with devastated people, and the unborn child he had to take from another friend’s (and probably his closest after Solomon) body.

That’s what’s left to him, but instead of just, I don’t know, dying from grief and despair, he swears to take care of it all somehow. And he does, with some trouble, yes, because his confidence is still weak - but he manages to inspire and unite all of the survivors (and in this way, somehow being the only one who managed to do what every fucking king vessel in Magi ideally but unsuccesfully aimed to achieve!?) and create a whole flipping new world for them and save them, by giving up his body and isolating himself once more.
Granted, the inspiration part was probably due to Aladdin, who was likely also what gave him strength in these times.

ALADDIN, oh boy.
That little creature that’s the child of the two people who were probably closest to him and who he watched dying - and he basically adopted it and cherished it and was really really looking forward to meeting it but waited to bring it to life until the time was right for it to enjoy a good life… only that this never happened.
After waiting for a thousand years, he had to bring the kid to life, only to load it with the task of saving its own world when he himself couldn’t do this anymore.
Ugo looked forward to meeting this child so much, but their first meeting wasn’t even heartwarming, it was outright depressing. Ugo felt like he had to play the role of a distant servant and mentor (likely didn’t even feel worthy of any closer relationship?) and didn’t even realize that Aladdin really just wanted the same as he did - to be friends. He only realized that shortly after his young protegé tried to actually kill himself out of despair and loneliness.
The child and last remaining thing he had left of his friends, who is the spitting image of them, and who he swore to protect.

Can you even imagine the pain of that?

Then they became friends for a few years - A FEW YEARS (which must be like the blink of an eye for an immortal being like Ugo) - and it probably must have been like a reprise of young Solomon pulling Ugo out of his rut.
And just a few years later, Ugo already had to release Aladdin into the world, continuing to protect and guide him and eventually severing their bond by giving up his physical incarnation entirely to save Aladdin’s life, being left forever alone in the Holy Palace.

They never met again, and all Ugo can do is hope that Aladdin is up to the huge burden he had to put on him - but what choice did he have? I’m sure he sometimes has regrets about that too.

Just. Give this guy a break. He didn’t deserve so much loneliness, holy shit.

have you ever fallen for someone and learned and loved everything about them? and then they leave and it makes you sick every time you come across those things they taught you? because somehow, even though you still love them, they tainted all those memories for you.

Coming Home (Part One)

Originally posted by suckmywinchester

Pairing: Dean x Reader 
Warnings: some language, not so vanilla thoughts.
Summary: Time lapse from when Dean tells you he has enlisted and to when he comes back home. 

Dropping your bag by the door, you said a quick hello to John and Mary before you made your way up to Dean’s room. You panted, catching your breath as you had ran three miles to get here, and you weren’t exactly in the fittest shape of your life.

Opening his bedroom door, Dean was startled to see you there. 
“Y/N! What are you doing here?” He asked, laughing as you held up a finger before standing up. Holding up a thick white envelope, Dean’s eyes went wide.
“Y/N… what is that…?” He asked, excitement slowly leaking out of his voice.
“I don’t know.. I saw it in the mail box and ran straight here..” You said, laughing softly, anxiety seeping into your bones. 

Sitting on his bed, the two of you stared at the envelope, not touching it.
“Sweetheart, It’s thick.. it’s the big envelope.. that’s the one people want, right?” He asked, sweat beading over his forehead as he looked at you. He watched as you bit your lip, making him grown internally. He wanted to be the one biting your lip, just seeing you do it did.. things… to him. 
“Is it?!” you breathed, standing up to start pacing, “I-I mean, what if this is the one that isn’t. What-What if, now hear me out, they hated my application so much they decided to print a list of reasons why I would never get into Yale! And that is why its so thick!” you looked so cute pacing around his room. 

Dean took the envelope in his hands and tore the side of it, reading the letter to himself. With tears in his eyes, he stood up and engulfed you in his arms, Dean soothed your nerves. Placing a kiss to your forehead, he looked at you.
“You got in!”
“I got in?” you asked, tears streaming down your face. Nodding, he spun you around his room. 
“I’m so proud of you!” 

Wiping your tears, you read the letter and rested your head on his shoulder. 
“Hey.. come down stairs for a minute? I got some news I wanna tell you and the folks before Sammy gets home?” He asked, looking down at you. Smiling you nodded, “Yeah, just give me a sec? I wanna clean up first.” He nodded and walked downstairs as you walked to the bathroom. 

Splashing cool water on your face, you dabbed it off and took a deep breath before walking down stairs to see his parents giving him a hug. His mother had tears in her eyes and John was smiling like he had just won the lottery.
“Did you hear the good news?” John bellowed, wrapping his arm around Dean’s shoulders.
“What’s that?” You asked, smiling as you stepped off of the stair case, your acceptance letter in your hand.
“Dean went down and enlisted!” John smiled, making your heart stopped. 

Just as the words left Johns mouth and entered your brain, your entire world stopped. 
“What?” you asked, your legs almost giving out.
“Dean’s enlisted honey! He’s going to be shipped off next week!” Mary smiled, wiping her joyful tears. 
“Y/N..” Dean’s soft voice pricked your skin like a poker game gone wrong.
“You..You enlisted?” You asked, tears blurring your vision. Dean stepped closer to you, his heart instantly breaking as you stepped back and put your hand up to stop him from coming any closer to you.
“How could you do this to me?” You asked him, sitting at the bottom of the staircase so you wouldn’t collapse in front of him.
“I’m doing this for me, how can you be upset right now?!” 
“How? How can I be upset right now?! My best friend just enlisted himself! That’s how!” You started hyperventilating as more and more tears ran down your face, making your face feel hot and sticky and you hated it. 
“I’m serving my country, sweetheart! What’s so wrong with that?” He asked, sitting next to you, trying desperately to calm you down.
“What’s wrong with that? I don’t want you leaving! I want you to be here, a-and going to college!” you shouted, standing up and running your fingers through your hair.

John and Mary had long since excused themselves, leaving you two to get through this on your own. 
“I don’t want to go to college! What about what I want? Huh?! You ever think about that!”
“That’s all I ever think about, Dean! You were all I thought about when I was saving your ass the last fucking four years, to make sure you kept your grades up to stay in football! That’s all I thought about when I fucking helped you get Chrissy to go to prom with you! What about what I want?!”
“Well what the fuck do you want, Y/n?!” Dean’s voice broke as he shouted at you, his body shaking from the anger he was feeling.
“I dont want my best friend to come home in a fucking box! That’s what I want, Dean!” any feeling other than heartbreak left his body as he looked at you. Your hair was messy and your face was a shade of red he had never seen before; your face was wet from the tears and snot, but to him you were still so beautiful.
“Y/N..” Dean started, but you just pushed him away and ran out of his house, running right past Sam.
“Hey, Y/N you okay?” Sam asked, looking up at you. You stopped and nodded. “Yeah, Sam, I’m good, thanks.” Ruffling his hair, you took one last look at Dean before walking back to your house.

A/N: This was going to be just one story, but when I actually got to typing I realized that it would be way too long to fit into just one story.

All I Ask

All I Ask

Words: 1179 (holy crab)

Genre: Angst

Summary: So when the bride was clinking  her glass and i could feel his hand missing from my waist, i promise to end those feelings, for his own sake, for his own happiness.

a/n: based on Adele’s song, All I Ask, this is my first phanfic ever lmao


“Can i dance with you?” i asked.

He looked at me with his blue eyes, then he smiled and nodded his head, “Sure, Dan.”

He held my hand and lead me to the dance floor, and i could feel at least fifty pair of eyes looking at me, they were looking at me like this isnt supposed to happen in this beautiful day,

His beautiful day.

The pianist started to play a very beautiful melody, and suddenly, my reality shattered into million pieces at the moment i met his eyes.

What is self control when his blue eyes that filled with so much joy and happiness met my brown ones?

And they were looking at mine deeply just like when we met for the first time, when we held the first eye contact in real life, when his blue eyes found my brown ones among the crowds.

I could feel his hand on my waist, his grip was still strong just like how it always be, but my head was screaming no, no please stop, no this isnt right, the best man isnt supposed to dance with the groom-

But, at the same time, im afraid to admit that my heart actually wanted more than this.

He smiled at me before he spun me over, reminded me of those past years when it was just me and him in our pyjamas, dancing like two fools in the kitchen, knocking everything around us- but we didnt care, even about the spoiled milk on the floor or the burned food in the pan,

because at that exact moment, it was just about us, just about me and Phil.

I looked at his dark blue bowtie, remember when i made an excuse about how it will match the bride’s flower perfectly when i handed him that, but actually i pick that color just because Phil always looks good with dark blue and suit.

Fuck, Phil always looks good with every clothes that he choosed to wear.

“Dan,” He called.

“Yeah,”

“Thank you,” He said again, “For being the greatest best man that have ever existed, i thought you were going to say no because of-

“Well im still your best friend right?” I cut his sentence, i cant ruin this important day in his life.

“The best of all.”

He said those words with a crooked smile on his face, and suddelny his pale skin looks more  stunning under the fairylight, but unlike his cold figure, his fingers are still warm, just like how they always feel when he is happy.

Under the fairylight on the dance floor, when the pianist was hitting the c-key with his left hand, i could feel my adoration and love that i burried deep inside my heart exploded into million stars, covering my vision and the sight of him, the man where all of my feelings will always belong to.

So when the bride was clinking  her glass and i could feel his hand missing from my waist, i promise to end those feelings, for his own sake, for his own happiness.

For what is best for him and the both of us.

-

“What are you doing here?”

I turned just to see him standing in front of the balcony door with a glass of champaigne in his grip.

“Nothing, actually,” i laughed, “Just go inside, you have guests.”

“No,” he said before walking closer to me,

No, stop, Phil, No.

“I just want to talk to you,” he said, “Just you and me and the stars on top of us.”

I felt my entire body turned into statue as i heard his sighs.

“Look im sorry-

"There is nothing to be sorry for,” i cut him, again. “its your right to fall in love, i cant do anything against what is right for you.”

I looked at him but he was looking at the city lights in front of us, and i remember when he told me that every light means hope for everyone when we were looking down to manchester from the manchester eye.

And i remember telling him that even in an ocean of city lights filled  with hope, i will always find him, the brightest light that meant for the only me.

I looked at the stars and heard Phil’s voice echoing in my head, i remember it all, the ocean of stars,our first kiss, how his lips were freezing against mine and snow was covering the street after the storm that hit Rosendale six hours before.

So under the stars and over the sea of neon lights, i build my courage to said the last sentence that will ends it all.


“Phil, can you kiss me?” i asked.

He turned his body to look at me, “What did you just say?”

“Can you kiss me?” I asked again, “Tonight is the last time, lets end it in the same way as the way we started it,” i bit my lip, no i cant cry, “Under the stars, just like when you kissed me, for the first time.”

He didnt speak, nor scream, but suddenly he held my hand and intertwined our fingers, his other hand was behind my neck, he moved closer to my face and i could see the way his pupils dilatated, then the rest was just like a dream.

I could feel his breath tickling my cheek, and his warm lips on mine, and they were warm and not freezing like our first kiss.

His fingers squeezed mine, as if they were never going to be ready to let me go.

The kiss was deep, not little pecks like our first time,

Just when i thought he was just going to stay with me and leave everything behind, he pulled and i saw his watery eyes.

It hurts, god, it hurts to see him like this, even more hurting because the reason behind his watery eyes was me and my stupid request.

“Can i kiss you again?” he said, “For one last time before i went inside?”

I nodded and he kissed me again, and this time both of us closed our eyes.

He pulled and whispered closely to my lips, “Im sorry.”

My eyes were still closed even though he is gone, then i heard some clapping sound before i fell into my kness.

I cried silently, letting my heart slowly bleed out, as a reminder of million chances that i didnt take and the billion ‘i love you’s that i didnt say.

So under the stars and above the sea of neon lights, when the guests were clapping to congratulate Phil and his official Wife,

I could feel my first heartbreak after living ten years of my life with so much love and affection from the man with blue eyes, the man whose light shone the brightest, the light that no longer belong to the only me.

I don’t like Taylor Swift as a person, but if all Harry’s songs are about her, then that’s his business. That’s his dating life. That’s his music. Those are his own personal experiences that he’s entitled to write about. I just want to know what he’s been through, his feelings, his heartbreak, etc. Just because YOU aren’t attracted to, or  you don’t like, someone he’s dated in the past, doesn’t mean he can’t.

I don’t care if the music is about Nadine, Georgia, Taylor, Kendall, Caroline, or any of the other countless women Harry has hooked up with or dated that we never saw. The fact that it is so make or break to some of you all is really sad. Let him LIVE! It’s not like he’s gonna tell you who the songs are exactly about anyway, unless he gives us undisputable descriptions of the girl in the songs.

do you ever think about how raphael doesn’t really trust people and probably hasn’t truly trusted anyone in a long time and he still took simon in ?? like do you realize how hard it must have been for him to trust this total stranger, let them into the clan, and give them a position of power. raphael gave him everything ?? a safe home, a constant supply of blood, training, help for his friends, and a made up position just to keep him close to him. and then do you think about how this person who he trusted, cared for, and grew fond of basically just betrayed him ?? like every time i see the brief flash of heartbreak and betrayal on his face i feel something in me sink. raphael defied all of his instincts and did everything for simon and he got screwed over in return. poor baby :(

please don’t ignore the fact that yixing cried during a live broadcast because of how sorry he felt for not being able to attend a lot of exo activities. he keeps apologizing even though he doesn’t have to. he did nothing wrong. he cares about his group, members and fans so much, if anyone says otherwise they clearly don’t know him. please care about yixing. give him the love and support he deserves. it’s not easy to manage both group and solo activities both in china and korea, it gets tiring and he’s only human. add to that the amount of pressure he’s under for being the last chinese member of exo.

please handle this boy with care. he deserves nothing but happiness love and support.

3

Is it weird it’s weird but I think his glowing eyeball thing is kinda hot~