This is not a complain, just sharing a little bit of my life. Sometimes, people question, that model life is easy, and that’s wrong, we work as hard as any other individual. Today I had 10 hours of work day, shooting with a very bad cold, coughing no stop and a massive headache. That did not stopped me on doing what I love. I finished, went to airport, to comeback home to see my 2 princesses. Arriving there, my flight was over 3 hours delayed. I fly from NYC to Miami. Just waked home 2am. Happy to be here. And wanted to share the face of a hard working model, and share that I am not the only one that works this hard. Thank you. And I hope my message don’t get misunderstand. Love u all.

I love this woman: she was sick, tired after a long day of work, and she not only got the job done, but she becided to wait 3 hours for a delayed flight to come back to her daughtes just for the night instead of sleeping in a hotel and come back next morning, and she also shared this with us not because she wants to highlight herslf but to show how her and all fellow models works hard and must not be misjudged. This is why Adriana Lima is and will always be a role model for me. I wish she will get well soon.

Today so far.

Today is off to a rough start. Over salted my eggs and completely ruined them. Had to make new ones, but instead of making just egg whites and mozz i just went with my old haunt over easy with an english muffin. Then of course since i had to make two breakfasts i came back to the table to semi cold coffee. Blech.

Okay so its not all bad. Thanks to my fitness keeping track of my calories and such i am down a fraction of a lb from yesterday! .2lbs never looked so wonderful. :D haha. But this means that i can lose weight at a healthy and reasonable pace.

I am just not debating doing some cardio on the elliptical. I am still somewhat sore from shoveling for two days straight. I have a jillian michaels workout set to do with my boyfriend on sunday, but i kinda feel like i should do just a little something, even if its only 10/15 min, (which it would be anyway cause that about as long as i can go on the that thing at this point). Yea, maybe ill just see how it feels and how long my body wants to go. heck i got up earlier than usual, might as well use that advantage in my favor.

Im also happy that i have a good amount of dogs to do today, which is great considering when i left yesterday i was basically the only one with appointments. (like literally my manager has 2 dogs and everyone else had nothing at all) i gotta say while i complain about it sometimes, the closing shift seems to really save me during out slow times (though most of them are requests anyway but still)

lets hope today is good.

Originally posted by yourreactiongifs

Yesterday i had a pretty enlightening moment.

It went down like this: It was your casual Sunday evening, relatively low mood because everyone gets to work the next day. Then something completly dumps the rest of the enthusiasm i had left for the day. I had a little conversation with my brother and i comepletly shrugged everything off, felt bad as can be and went to bed. I had some pretty dark thoughts, i was on the verge… but then i had this feeling striking me out of seemingly nowhere.

… This isn’t me … I am the one with the stronger determination. I AM the one that surpasses himself and grows every day. When trying hard isn’t enough i will try twice as hard, and if that doesn’t work i try four times as hard. i had SWORN to myself, i will NOT go down in the masses. No ! I will only give it my 120% ! I will bite the granite. I will bite the granite until it breaks, pulverizes and then digest it!

It was 23:50 at that time, but it didn’t matter for me, I went out of my way to grab a canvas and paint this picture you see right here, grab a nail and nail it right into the wall where i sit everyday. Where i can see it when i enter my appartment. I’m not going to make a difference, i am going to make THE difference. No more excuses, no more procrastinating. I want to be the inspiration and motivation for other people. I want to be the case example of making it from nothing to the top!

And this message goes out to all of you! I am currently just an average guy, living alone in a cheap, small appartment with a shitty job i don’t like. But things will change around here, i will turn my life for the better and you can do that aswell. Don’t let anyone tell you you can’t. Just because they are to weak to persue their dreams does not mean you are. Have a great day everyone!

12/159 Days of Productivity

Tumblr mobile crashes everytime I try to post more than one photo but well… More than nothing I guess.

I feel bad for not doing everything, but maybe I should also stop making huge lists of things to do, who knows. And indicate the time next to it so it’s easier to see if I have realistic ‘goals’ for the day or not.

I also try to make it prettier next month, as I learned a little more about bullet journaling as well.

So what I did today… Well, I posted some stuff on tumblr… And 'organisated’ things. The only thing taht I’m 'proud’ off is that I went on Codeacadmy again, and that I played piano (which should really really really become a routine of mine.

I also want to start a monthly to do list, and weekly to do lists, so I dont forget things that easily anymore. And track the money I spend holy shit I basically tossed it out of the window this month >.

Start off my day with feeding my niece jacinthe her morning milk followed by a sugar roll for my breakfast. Had to babysit the little baby for some time as her grandma is washing the clothes. She’s a adorable one. Mummy came back from groceries shopping and bro went to school. OH WELL NOT REALLY ALL ALONE BY MYSELF. Wonder why am i not in school on a thursday ? Nope i’m not sick nor anything happened. Reason was because today wasn’t that faci that is supposed to teach. It was a assistant faci. To my surprise tho, Less than 10 people turn up. hahahah I do feel bad okay. Was struggling whether i should go to school or not.  Even asked my classmates and boyfriend hether i should. In the end, i made a decision that i should not go. So where did i go ya ? was thinking of going to a cafe that has good wifi s i can watch my drama there. But ends up i’m here at JEM. Yeap only one sugar roll isnt enough especially for a big eater like me. So i went to the mac at Jem. Hais pretty disappointed . I ordered Fillet o fish meal. picture vs reality. In picture, the burder look so yummy and appetizing. But the burger i got…. FAR OFF. my burger wasnt stack together. it is more of like they just dump it into a box. YES PLEASE IMAGINE THAT. Firstly, are they supposed to serve their burgers as a rubbish ? or Do i deserve to have a burger that looks like someone dropped my burger on the floor that looks so unappetizing ? Yes MACDONALDS IF YOU SEE THIS, YOU HAVE TO MAKE AN APOLOGY TO ME. Because all i want was just to have a nice meal. Okay next. Starbucks off i go. Staying in westgate Starbucks for few hours. Watching dramas, writing blog, review and some admin stuffs. Brought a cup of strawberry red velvet mocha. YUM IT’S DABOOMB. NO KIDDING. PLEASE TRY IT.

Watching people walking pass me, i actually observe some things that happen. Firstly something funny. A MAN FELL. okay i dont know am i supposed to laugh, but its really pretty funny. He fell because he dropped his churro and he accidentally stepped on it and fell. I also saw a grandma who just went to ntuc and was pulling her trolley. A super full trolley okay. she is already struggling with pulling the trolley but she still have to get mac for her grandchildren i guess. SHE CANNOT EVEN WALK PROPERLY. YET SHE HAS TO PULL THAT SUPER FULL TROLLEY AND ON THE OTHER HAND TWO MACS OF MAC AND HER A PACKET OF DRIED GOODS. I really wanted to help her. But she rejected. Maybe she scared that ill be coning her. But still, my heart just can’t get over that. Like why isnt anyone helping her. HAIS.

Some alone time all by myself, thinking about all the meomries, all the happy things that had happened in 2015, All the amazing things that pushes me to what i become today. Don’t have to think or stress over anything. Just enjoy the moment. Have a day of carefree moment all by myself. It’s nice.

Day 34 of 365
  • 02/03/2016
  • I am officially back in Ohio. Traveling today wasn't too bad, it may have been a long day, but my flights went pretty smoothly. My second one did get delayed a little bit, but it was only by 20 minutes or so, and compared to the last time I flew back to Ohio, that's nothing. I really am happy to be back. Drew picked me up at the airport with Megan in tow. I had a feeling he might bring her along and I was very glad my assumptions were right. After we left the airport, we stopped at Fusian and grabbed dinner. It was my first time eating there and it was delicious. Plus Drew happened to know the girl working, and she gave us all our meals for free. How awesome is that?! After we made it back to camp, we went to Megan's and hung out for a little bit. I got to see Russ too, which was cool. I really did miss everyone, there's such a great community here. I was going to go by and see Gazzerro and Antonio, but by the time I made it back from Megan's, it was already pretty late. I might try and go see Anthony tomorrow, but Andy won't be on camp again for at least a few days since he has school. Well I am really tired so I'm going to call it a night.
Monday wasn’t bad

but today went…somewhere.

Volunteering was fine, got to pet some rats. Not a lot of mess, so only spent about an hour there before heading t work.

Work was where it all got a little off focus. Did one work thing, got unfocused, read one of my homework articles. Didn’t feel like i got much work done. Didn’t start the day off with writing all my shit down, which was something I had started to do, and should probs keep up, given the way my brain tends to work.

But I didn’t do that and instead floated about while at work and felt aflike i got nothing done. I guess it didn’t help that i had a hard time sleeping last night, especially compared to the amazing 9 hours the night before…I should maybe look into actually sticking to that sort of schedule because while i woke up earlier than my alarm it was actually really nice.

that being said. i ended up taking a janky nap after i got back from work. i just kinda flopped over after trying to focus on paper #2 of 3 that i need to finish reading for class tmorrow morning. and surprise to no one, woke up after maybe 2 hours even more out of it than before. which makes any sort of decision making and word talking a trial for the ages. at least my headache had more or less dissipated, though knock on wood cuz i’m sure the fucker is bound to come back. naps are very confusing and i don’t trust them.

jumping back in time: spent my down time at work looking up apps on date night ideas, yoga, and meditation like headthings, and then subsequently deleting most of them. I ended up keeping forest and a few others that i’ll probably end up deleting later (i’ll never look at them, lbr here). but forest i’m thinking can work bcause it’s essentially a timer to keep focus and makes cute little trees in the meanwhile and should def help me stop looking at my phone for no reason when i’m supposed to be working.

yesterday was hourly comics day and it’s nice seeing where different people i follow are at. i’ve had comics on the mind lately since i’ve been bumping around one for a while as a hopefully minimal stress project that i can fiddle with on my down time. But of course, my mind recently’s wandered from it. I’m sure i’ll wander back to it. Just like i’ll wander back to that friendship bracelet i’m making whoops.

still haven’t called walgreens to see when i can pick up birth control pill prescription.

i mean, i doodle enough tiny-me’s to fit into an hourly comic, so maybe i should try that next time. or just start doing that more regularly- self doodling thoughts and whatnot.

i like the understated design of my witchsona this time. though i kinda miss the SNAKES AND ONLY SNAKES thing i had going on a little. hrm. but it doodles well and more or less reflects where i’m at maybe.

i should at least skim the last paper but idk if that’d do any actual good.

To hell and half way back..

Can’t wait to feel normal. I finally got some sleep under my belt. Didn’t really mean to but I went on a 5 day beige with crystal and day 1-2 is no big deal the third day I started seeing little bits of Shadows out of the corners of my eyes. Then day 4 I could hear little whispers. Now that was a bit creepy but day 5 was bad.. I could see people that weren’t there ( and I really did think they were people) and I was having full on conversations with them. It was scary when one of my friends who was a day behind me asked me who I was talking to.. I thought I was partying with about 13 people or so but turns out it was only 2 friends and a lot of hallucinations.
That was 1 100mg capsule of ice every 3-5 hours. Then mixed them with benzos day 5. And I’m not talking about the come down either. Any way lots of memory loss and a lot of not so cool and weird things happend. Haha I won’t be trying that agian and advise against it.