In which Sirius mistakes a cuddling application for a shagging advert.


I’m lonely and cold and in need of a cuddle buddy so fill this out.

Name: Walking sex (aka Sirus Black)

Age: Legal

Gender: Take a look

Phone number: I take DADA not fucking Arithmancy

Address: Your bed (or mine). It’s actually Potter Manor.

Top Five Movies: What the fuck? What in the name of Merlin is a movie. I think Evans might have taken Potter to one once. Didn’t invite me the smarmy bastard.

Five Random Facts About Yourself: You like me. I’m an excellent shag. You want to ride my broomstick. I know the best places for a snog. There’s no one better.

Do you mind if I give you a cute sexy nickname?: Yes. (Doesn’t Sirius get you going enough?)

Can we build a fort?: Yes. (Is this roleplaying? It sounds like roleplaying. Am I the commander of an army?)

Will there be random junk food and food fights?: Yes. (Duh.)

Do you mind kissing shagging?: No.

Include one or all.

Instagram: Merlin’s

Tumblr: balls

Twitter: what is this

(Place a picture of yourself here: This is a five. I am a ten. This was Potter. I DO NOT LOOK LIKE THIS. He used a sticking charm and it won’t come off. I am about to rip his balls off.)

James Potter / Remus Lupin / Peter Pettigrew / Lily Evans / James Potter (by Sirius Black)