Hey guys, I’ve given this a lot of thought, but I don’t know what else to do. So, I’m here to ask for some help.
For those who don’t know me, I’m Heather, and I have a pretty great mom who taught me how to love the world and give great hugs and always tell the ones you care about you love them because you never know what may happen the next day.
That mom is in serious and dire trouble right now. My mom is a great 51 year old women, who has gone through so many jobs over the years. A few she had to walk away from to make sure me and my sister had the care and love we needed through each storm of bad luck that came our way. From my depression and being sick in bed for almost an entire year, to my sister being diagnosed with diabetes and ending up in the hospital a few times, to my sister having a baby and my mom helping raise the kid. Not all big things, but things, at the time, we were scared and uninformed about. And she’d research and care for us. Even as she came down with depression, dealing with my dad’s suicide attempts and break downs, to her own thoughts and feelings of suicide, she’s stuck it out.
She’s struggled so hard to swim up river, and has applied for thousands of jobs. She’s gone to so many job fairs and interviews I can’t even count them all. She has so much experience from being a waitress(on roller skates at a time) to working on computers(she can type faster than anyone I’ve ever seen and takes the most diligent notes and is always organized), and is the biggest people person. But she can never land a job, for whatever reason. (I personally suspect age, because lets face it, who easier to pay tiny wages to than young people.)
Even when she gets a job, everything comes crashing down, and she has no money left to her name. Now she’s at a point where she can’t afford their rent anymore, nor gas, or food, or bills. She was just laid off(her job claimed being overstaffed) my sister is leaving to move in with her new boyfriend, and my grandparents refuse to help her or let her move in with them.
I lived in my car, on friends couches, and jumped hotels for a little over 2 months, so I can imagine what it’s like to have no where to go. But to have no one who wants you on top of that, while still having to care for pets no less, is something I never wanted my mom to be in. I’ve tried so hard to keep her afloat, but now I’m in a position where I can’t help her on my own. I can’t pay her rent and bills, no matter how much I want to.
I’d like to earn enough money for her to afford someplace to stay until she can find a job again. I think if she can have a good starting amount of money to keep her going, she won’t have to be forced to do anything drastic.
This is my mom, guys. A mom who has been trying to damn hard to do everything she can but the world keeps pushing her down and holding her underwater, wanting her to drown. It’s not fair, and the fact her family won’t help her because she can’t get out of the situation by herself is even worse. She’s TRIED. She doesn’t want this, she LOVES working, she loves being able to take care of people, I just can’t understand how someone who tries harder than anyone has to be forced into being homeless and alone.
I’m really, really, REALLY hoping to raise anywhere from $5,000 to $10,000, if at all possible. I know it’s a lot, and probably impossible, but sadly it’s not a lot or enough for someone to live on for long. But it should be enough to help my mom at least pay another few month’s rent and bills and buy her more time to hear back from another job. But honestly, anything helps at this point.
If you guys can help my mom out, I’d be indebted to you forever. If you want a drawing, or a day to hang out at Disneyland, or a cookie I can bake and send to you, or something, you got it. Just please, please help me keep my mom off the streets. She’s almost been there before, and now that she’s alone it’s even more likely. And she loves our pets to death and they’re the only real comfort she has, I don’t want anything to happen to her and all of them.
If you can’t donate, please spread this around for me. I’m really hoping to save up any money for her before the month is up.
Thank you for your time and kindness. Here’s a more direct link to where you can send donations if you choose: paypal.me/sonichearts
A’ight, fuck it, I was debating actually posting this here, but it’s not like it’s a secret that I’m total RvB trash at this point anyways. Sorry to my followers who are just sitting through all this like ‘wtf is going on’
Anyways, just did a quick edit because this song was stuck in my head all day, and I felt like making a thing where there was nothing. What does that mean? I don’t even know. (Also I have never worked with what is relatively such a small amount of footage before, so damn right I cut the song down to be less than thirty seconds.)
Okay so I know there are some people who are running their data limits into the ground or bought phones specifically for Pokemon Go and that’s cool because the game is really awesome.
But like if you’re using a phone specifically for the game, when you’re not using it there are some apps you can download that’ll save you some money on your data plans and might even help you get some coins in the app too. All app links are Android but if you have iPhone they should be there too.
Swagbucks (referral) has like five or six apps you can download and watch videos on, and when they run correctly you can earn around a dollar a day with minimal effort. [x][x][x][x][x][x]
Perk TV (referral) is another one that has some video apps that you can run with not a lot of effort, just maybe check them to see if the ads haven’t locked or just verify that you’re still watching them and it’ll credit just fine. You can also use the Pop Quiz app and let it run too, I prefer that but they still are pretty decent. [x][x]
RewardShopping (referral) really isn’t all that great, but in between Pokestops you can spin this wheel and get points that can be used for prizes and exp that can be used to unlock more prizes. Don’t buy the platinum membership unless you full expect to spin this fucking thing 200 times a day. I don’t. But still. Not too bad. Gotta use your web browser though.
Checkpoints (referral code “gingeronastick”) is one of my favorites. You’re already walking around, check in to some local stores and earn some points. If you go inside the stores to catch Pokemon, scan items with the barcode scanner for points. Go home, run the videos, so easy a Croagunk can do it. [x]
Qriket (referral code “17D554″) isn’t like the others. You watch an ad to earn a spin, you use those spins on a roulette to win some money, you can wager that money to earn more, or save your spins to use for their live broadcasts. It’s a real-world Game Corner, I dig it. [x]
After that there are several lock screen apps but those earn kinda slow to me and are a bit inconvenient. Then there are some analytics things that track your data usage but again, a lot of time for not a lot of money. I know of a few but I rarely use em. Finally, there are some sites that pay you to download and run certain apps but I don’t use those, they’re kinda buggy and mess with my phone and y’all don’t want that.
Full disclosure I threw referral links in but you don’t have to use them if you don’t want to, I just figured I’d share some things that worked for me. Feel free to share any that worked for y’all if you know of any more. Best of luck catching them all!
It makes me feel really invalidated and anxious when blogs that are supposed to support trans people think my gender isn’t real or valid. I face that more than I need to in everyday life, and it hurts even more when I go somewhere for support and I’m turned away because I don’t fit the narrative they want.
I don’t know if people understand how much it sucks to identify as a demiboy. Literally NO ONE takes you seriously. But the thing is…it fits the most. I’ve tried to identify as a trans guy and I’ve tried to identify as genderfluid but neither seem quite right. I feel like a boy but there’s a small part of me that’s nonbinary and more ambiguous. I don’t think I’ll ever consider myself binary, but I don’t feel like a “true nonbinary” either because I’m kinda in between and people are always misunderstanding that and invalidating who I am. There’s a lot of pain in living in that grey area. And I’m tearing up a bit writing this, so I’m gonna take a short break because it’s just bringing up so many memories and emotions.
I don’t know if people understand how hurtful that can be. I thought that the trans community to stick together. Support each other. One time a blog attacked me for sending in an ask as a demiboy. Saying how this is why trans people are never taken seriously and how I’m a piece of shit and I’m making it all up to be a special snowflake and so many things and it honestly terrified me and hurt me so deeply. And when I tried to gently defend myself, it got worse. I thought that I would be safe with other trans people. But that was the day I realized, that I wasn’t really truly safe with anyone.
Wow, I’m crying.
It’s just I want to be accepted as who I am so badly. And like with cis people, I know they don’t understand. They’re ignorant. They don’t accept me simply because they cannot relate and don’t want to. I can deal with that a little more easily. It sprouts from fear. But when it’s coming from your community, people who face similar issues, it just makes you feel like there’s something so wrong with you. And it makes you feel guilty. Like you did something wrong by simply being yourself. By simply taking up space.
And I sometimes lie and just say I’m a trans guy because that fear. The fear installed in me that I will not be accepted and I will not be wanted. My safety in jeopardy.
I just hate myself. There’s just so much pain and self hatred pounding through my veins.
I don’t know why I’m writing this. I just I’m just venting. I’m sorry. I’m very sorry.
I am currently in Memphis, Tennessee and I met the lovely guy who did this absolutely gorgeous thing. Apparently he’s been working on it for weeks, and it is bsolutely amazing. He was really nice and really good at what he does, and I feel like he deserves for this to be seen.
Tumblr no longer supports my outdated blog theme and while I can still post, I can’t update my blog or add any links until I change it… (when I try to edit theme I get the “there’s nothing here” disco ball of death) …I am super stressed about changing themes because I’m scared something crazy will happen and I’ll lose everything- which at this point is well over 3,000 Sansan posts- most of them tagged and easy to access through sidebar navigation. I’m putting this in the Sansan tag because I can’t image anyone other than Sansan shippers would really give a rat’s arse if my blog content disappeared.
Two things I need… I’m looking for a minimalist theme with side bar navigation if you know of a good one (I can pay). Also, if you have experience with outdated themes and are willing to give me some coaching on updating a frozen site I would be extremely grateful.
“Right here?” Ungjae asked as he held his palm in front of his face.
“Yep, right there,” you said, slapping the back of his hand forward so that he slapped himself in the face.
“Hey!” Ungjae rubbed his nose and scowled at you. “That wasn’t nice.”
“Well, you get mad at me when I slap you, so I’m making you slap yourself,” you replied, sticking your tongue out at him. He reached up to grab you, but you ducked out of the way, twisting around and running into another person.
You blinked rapidly, apologizing immediately when you saw who it was. Taeyong, one of the boys in your grade that you had a crush on. He towered over you, his gaze strong and steady, but he didn’t look upset that you had barrelled into him.
Ungjae grabbed your arm to pull you away, also apologizing to him. Taeyong’s gaze lingered on you an extra few seconds before he nodded in acknowledgement and headed past the two of you.
You gripped Ungjae’s arm with your two hands, squeezing tight as you fought for air. “Oh…my….God…!”
Ungjae rolled his eyes, twisting his arm out of your grip. “He’s just a dude. A dude with a bad haircut.”
You let go of him so you could flick his forehead. “You’re one to talk,” you frowned.
“Guys!” Xiao came from nowhere, sliding onto the bench that was next to the two of you. “Look what I got!”
“It better not be food,” you grumbled, plopping down next to him.
“It’s better than food,” Xiao made an annoyed face at you.
“It’s chicken!” Ungjae cheered, pulling the packaged food from the bag in Xiao’s hand.
You stared at Xiao blankly, knowing better than to point out that chicken was, indeed, food. Xiao stared back, daring you to say those exact words. He had to look away, however, because Ungjae was going to eat all of the chicken. Xiao snatched it back to get his own portion before handing the rest back over to Ungjae. The two were best friends, peas in a pod, and shared everything.
You let your feet swing as you sat on the bench, letting them eat. Chicken was not one of your favorite things, and they knew it, even though they did offer you some. Instead, you watched as students milled into the school from their lunch break. You had a crush on half the male population of your school, so you enjoyed people watching.
There was Jungkook, the athletic star of the school, number one in everything that was sports, but not very good at academics. His adorable face and accommodating personality made up for it; most of his grades were probably bumped up by adoring teachers. He was very sweet and you had never heard a bad word said about him. He was walking with his fellow athletes Jeup, Jota, and Wonho, aka the muscle brigade. They were all very nice to look at.
Then, ironically, there was the chess club leader, Kevin, walking with his backpack carelessly slung over his shoulder, actively scrolling on his phone. He was too adorable for words, but the nerdist nerd that ever nerded. He had a couple cute friends around school, but they were known for their good grades and quiet demeanors, not really stand outs.
“So are you ready for the quiz today?” Ungjae asked. Despite the doofus act that he put on, Ungjae was in the top five of our class, pretty much a genius. If he actually applied himself he would be number one.
Xiao gave him a side-eyed look. “What quiz?” Typical Xiao. The kid didn’t pay attention to much of anything at school. How he wasn’t flunking out was beyond me.
Ungjae punched Xiao in the shoulder and pulled out a book from his backpack to give Xiao a quick review in hopes of Xiao not failing miserably. You had already studied, so you excused yourself, with a little slap to the back of Ungjae’s head on your way by. You don’t know what it was about that boy, but he made you want to hit him constantly.
You were busy pulling things out of your locker when someone leaned against the wall next to you. You let your gaze slide to the side to find Sang grinning wickedly at you. With a frown, you slammed your locker shut and faced him. “What?”
“What are you doing after school?”
You pressed your lips together before telling him. “I have plans.”
“Do you? Do you really?” he knew better.
“I will have plans.” you amended.
“With me?” Sang raised an eyebrow.
Ever since that one day you consented to make out with him behind the bleachers for a half hour, he decided he wanted to do it again. While it hadn’t been a bad kissing session, you really didn’t want to just be a girl he messed around with. That would give you a negative reputation very quickly. Sang tended to mess around with a lot of girls and everyone knew it.
“Not with you,” you put a finger on his shoulder to push him out of your way. Still, he fell into step beside you, slinging an arm around your shoulders.
“You’ll change your mind.” You could hear the grin in his voice.
You felt something hard rap on your head; a second later Sang was flinching and removing his arm from your shoulders with a cry of pain. You both turned to see your gym teacher, Eric, looking at the two of you with disapproval. He crossed his arms, tucking the stick he hit you both with under his elbow. “Too much PDA,” was all he said.
You wanted to protest that there was no affection between the two of you, but you knew it would fall on deaf ears. Eric lived to rap people on the head with his stick. Plus, Sang would probably call you a liar and then you’d be back to square one. So, you kept your mouth shut and looked down at Eric’s red sneakers. They clashed with his teal track suit, and you couldn’t wait to talk about his train-wreck of an outfit with your friends at lunch.
“Sorry,” Sang apologized for the both of you. You each backed away from his stern gaze in opposite directions, veering off into your respective homerooms. As much as Eric had given you a headache, it was better than Sang hanging on you any longer. He was cute, but naughty; he would bring you nothing but trouble.
You slid into your chair next to your bestie, Beth. She was bright, bubbly, and cheerful; everything that you strived to be and always failed at. You could be one of those things at a time, but never all three at once. How she managed it, you’d never understand.
“I saw Ungjae tutoring Xiao outside,” Beth remarked, pulling pencils from her backpack. “But I think it’s hopeless.”
You nodded, pulling out your own supplies from your bag. “Xiao usually is,” you agreed. You loved the kid, he was practically your brother, but he just did not get along well academically. “Still, he’ll make it through somehow.”
“I wish I was cute enough to get away with murder,” Beth murmured under her breath.
“Don’t worry,” you said, patting her shoulder lightly. “You are.”
“Awwww, ain’t that stinkin’ adorable,” Changkyun appeared suddenly, kneeling in front of your desks, resting his chin on his hands and looking between the two of you. “The two of you are so cute-ahhh!” He was being sarcastic; everything out of his mouth usually was. He was harmless, just a kid who tried to be funny at all times, but sometimes he was super annoying.
You had no problem flicking his very conveniently placed forehead. “No one asked you,”
“Yah!” A loud voice said, headed in our direction. Changkyun looked over his shoulder, scrambled to stand up, hit his knee hard on the desk, and half-limped, half-shuffled away when he saw who had yelled at him.
Jenn came closer, arm and arm with Kathleen. Jenn made a threatening motion toward Changkyun, causing him to flinch, but the two ended up smiling at each other. “Don’t mess with my girls,” Jenn warned him.
“I was calling them cute,” Changkyun tried to defend himself, now across the room.
Jenn waved a dismissive hand at him before she and Kathleen slid into the seats behind you and Beth. The two leaned forward on their elbows as Beth and you turned to face them. Jenn lowered her voice so it was just the four of you in the conversation. “Did you see what Zico was wearing today?”
Beth’s eyebrows shot up, “Isn’t it a school uniform?”
Jenn blinked at her twice, then nodded slowly. “Yes, but he’s not wearing his jacket and his shirt is fucking sleeveless!”
Kathleen sighed. “Those arms.”
You wrinkled your nose at them. “I don’t get what you see in him. Isn’t he a bully?”
“Well,” Jenn looked thoughtfully toward the ceiling as she spoke. “He might take a few kids’ lunch money from time to time,” she admitted. “But I saw him rescue a stray puppy once. And he stopped that one kid from the other school from beating up Kevin.”
“Oh yeah, well then,” you nodded. “He has a heart of gold.”
Jenn stuck her tongue out at you, fully aware of what you thought about Zico and his friends. “I know he’s not perfect. But he’s fucking perfect for me.”
You reached out to pat her hand. “I know. And I still love you.”
Jenn’s hand snaked away, then was immediately back to smack the back of your hand playfully. The two of you exchanged smiles. As opposite as the two of you were, you would both fight tooth and nail to protect the other. That’s how your little group of girlfriends was. All as different as could be, and all loyal to the bitter end.
“I wish Brittany had been in our homeroom,” Kathleen voiced the thought that was going through your head right now.
“Me too,” Daehyun said from her immediate right.
“Are you eavesdropping?” Jenn looked ready to start World War III.
“Just the Brittany part,” Daehyun sighed. “I didn’t care about the Zico part.”
Before Jenn could get expelled for beating up a boy, your homeroom teacher walked in. For some reason, the teachers at this school all just wanted to be called by their first names. Minwoo set his binder on the podium and cleared his throat. Ungjae and Xiao slipped in the back and into their seats just as Minwoo starting calling roll. The teacher knew they were late, but chose to ignore it, just continuing with attendance.
It was a fairly typical beginning of a school day. Little did you realize that by the end of the day, everything would be turned upside down; your world was about to be thrown into chaos. Things would never again be this simple.
Does anyone know how to get more followers? Like I said, I don’t want to sound greedy and I don’t want to make you guys think I take you guys for granted. Your some of the best people I have. But does anyone know how to get more followers? I just want to spread my stories and joy to more people. Care to offer help anyone? : ) love you guys!