i-don't-even-know-why-this-appeals-to-me

Since I was the driver, Ted drank a good deal during the evening, and he was quite intoxicated when we left at 2 A.M. He was a friendly, relaxed drunk, and he settled into the passenger seat and rambled on and on about the woman at the party who had impressed him so much.
“She’s just what I’ve always wanted. She’s perfect- but she didn’t even notice me…”
And then he fell sound asleep.
When I delivered Ted back to the Rogers’s that night, he was almost comatose, and it took me ten minutes of shaking him and shouting to wake him up. I walked him to the door and said goodnight, smiling as he bumbled in the door and disappeared.

- The Stranger Beside Me, Ann Rule

“don’t be insecure!!! people will never respect you if you’re insecure!!!”

“don’t be arrogant!!! people will never respect you if you’re arrogant!!!”

and how do you know if you’re going too far one way or the other? oh, right, you can never win unless you’re granted arbitrary approval from On High by bootlicking in just the right way.

why do I even look up application advice? good fuck, trying to find consistency in this stuff would not appeal to even a masochist. after enough of this condescension and contradiction, even the most devoted masochist would rip off the lecturer’s ~never-properly-licked~ boot and beat them around the head and shoulders with it. (I, meanwhile, would be the creep in the corner with popcorn.)