on bpd and #suicide
hey since its bpd month I think I’m gonna make a post abt something that I’ve actually been dealing with lately
bpd folks get suicidal a lot.
I lost my job this week and was suicidal for almost every day and was only met with being called manipulative. as if me wanting to die is some ploy to hurt or use someone. it invalidated me and made me question whether or not I was good and guess what. that made me more suicidal. and I almost did it.
a lot of us are suicidal regularly and suicide ideation is often an immediate reaction to anything remotely negative or a rapid change
when a borderline person talks about wanting to kill themself, they most likely mean it. we don’t say these things because we want to hurt you. we literally want to die, our disorder causes severe emotional dysregulation and often times when we have emotional overloads suicide is the default escape card and our impulsivity and splitting can cloud our decision making long enough where we go through with it.
18% of folks w bpd commit suicide. that’s literally almost 1 in 5 borderlines. dead.
please take us fucking seriously when we become suicidal. just because our emotions are irregular and erratic doesn’t mean they aren’t very real to us. it may seem manipulative, and even in cases where it very well could be manipulative (which is a maladaptive coping technique usually formed from abuse and neglect but that’s for another post and another time), take. us. seriously.
whatever negative behaviors we have can be dealt with and worked through. but only if we’re goddamn alive