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Hey guys, I’m in a bit of a rough spot right now and I need a little help. If you follow my main blog ( @undeadgoblin ), you know everything that’s going on, but this is the Official Post so I’m gonna go over it. 

So basically, I am a transgender guy with ADHD, depression, and anxiety. I just got through my first year of university, and now that it’s the summer, I need some kind of income, but my mental situation is very very bad, and I haven’t even been able to LOOK for a job. This wouldn’t be as much of a problem as it is if I wasn’t very broke, and didn’t need to buy testosterone this summer (or food lmao). I have my first doctor’s appointment on June 16, and it’s likely I will be starting hormones this summer. But since I won’t have a job, and currently do not have insurance (canada has a good health system but it does fuck all for prescriptions believe me) I’m kind of, how you say, fucked. My parents and family don’t support me financially, beyond my mother covering half my rent (literally the only reason I won’t be completely out of money soon god bless her), and I don’t want to ask this of them. This is something I am doing for me, and me alone, and I’ve already disappointed them enough, especially with my awful school year, mental health, gender, and lack of a job. 

This is where you come in! What I need from you, is commissions. I know I’m not a very popular artist, and I know my posting has been inconsistent as hell these days, but I’m working so so hard on that, and to get better. Hormones will help with that. I know most people are just as broke as me, so if you don’t want a commission or can’t afford one, please please share this post. Get it out there to people. It would help a huge huge deal. 

Last but not least, I have added a button for donations on my blog. I do not expect anything from anyone, and commissions are absolutely my main goal and focus, but the option is there. 

Anyway I’m so sorry this is long as hell (god especially sorry if u have adhd oops), but thank you for reading, and possibly sharing and helping. I love you all so so much. This is an absolutely crucial step for my life and well-being, and if this works out, you’re the ones who made it possible. 

Actual commission prices n stuff under the read more (don’t want this to take up TOO much dash space yikes)

Keep reading

it fucks me up because i cant think anymore. i cant say words without remembering a conversation we had. i cant walk to english class without remembering you kissed me downstairs. i cant listen to a song without remembering you played it for me on the piano. i cant look at a fucking tree without remembering we said we were going to plant thousands of them together one day. i cant do anything, without remembering you.
—  because that’s all i can do now, is remember you.
Derek Hale Imagine- A Living Hell

“Who’s there?” you asked, after hearing a loud noise from behind you. Recently Beacon Hills fell host to another supernatural threat, something called the Kanima. None of you had enough knowledge on it, so you all decided to split up In order to work out who it was and what it wanted. Originally, you were assigned to do research with Stiles but you got bored and told him you were going for food. You decided to do a little research of your own. When you were hanging out at Derek’s you heard him tell Isaac something about it being Lydia. The perks of being friends with Scott’s and Derek’s pack was that you knew everything, it wasn’t so fun however when they each try to pry information from you. But anyway, you knew Lydia liked to sit on the rooftop of the old abandoned warehouse at night. You knew this because you’ve been with her on a numerous of occasions, it’s the perfect place to take sunset or night time aesthetics. Even if it was her you knew it wouldn’t be intentional, you just wanted to know so you could help her. You thought it was a great idea for you to go on your own, with nothing but your phone flashlight and knife that you had no idea how to use. When whatever was behind you didn’t respond you knew it wasn’t one of the pack or some sort of angry security guard. You slowly turned around, to be met with a large lizard creature. “Oh shit” you murmured, trying to shuffle backwards discreetly. But with every inch you moved backwards it moved forwards two. Your shaky hand reached into your jean pocket slowly for the knife, you looked down to realise it was no longer there. In fact you could see it glisten at you from the other side of the roof, where it must of fallen out. You eventually stopped moving when you reached the very edge of the roof and heard a bit crumble underneath your feet. You gently moved your head, trying to figure out your next move. “Stay still” Scott said quietly as him and Stiles crept onto the roof. You nod your head, looking everywhere other than at the Kanima. Scott grew out his nails and fangs, the creature heard this because its attention went from you to him as it swung around in one brisk movement. You looked down at your leg, seeing a rip in your leggings. Your leg went numb within a matter of seconds. “NO!” Stiles shouted as they both tried to run over to you. The Kanima managed to catch and push Scott, but Stiles got through. He fell to the floor and tried to catch your arm as you fell over the edge, but it was too late. You must of blanked out, because you don’t remember feeling the pain of you hitting the floor.

Your woke up to the colour white and the sound of a heart rate monitor beeping obnoxiously loud. You let out a loud exhale and glanced to the figure sitting on the chair next to you. “Hey, how’re you feeling?” Lydia asked with a soft smile. “I’m fine” you shrugged, sitting up. “Woah, slow down” Allison said in response to your sudden movement. They were both sharing the chair because technically only one of them was allowed in at once, but they wouldn’t accept it. “It’s ok, it doesn’t hurt” you said rubbing your eyes. Lydia and Allison exchanged looks, when they realised you furrowed your brows. “Why doesn’t it hurt? This should hurt!” you stated, pulling the blanket off you. “Y/N, just breathe” Lydia said, as they both jumped up. You pulled the drip out of your arm and also stood up. You examined your body, seeing nothing but a few small cuts and a bruise or two. By now Scott and Stiles had burst in, after hearing all the commotion. “Is everything all right?” Scott asked. You noticed there was a large padded plaster on your hip. You began to peel it off slowly, while the others winced. “I wouldn’t do that” Stiles said, covering his eyes. You pulled it off, revealing nothing. Absolutely nothing. They sighed in relief and then waited for your reaction. “This isn’t happening” you mumbled, shaking your head. Your friends carried on talking to you, but you stopped listening. You grabbed your spare clothes from the bottom of your bed and stormed out of the room. You could hear them all calling after you, but it was like you had tunnel vision. There was something else more important on your mind.

“Derek, you better open the door!” you practically screamed while banging on it with your new found force. After a minute he opened the door, but he couldn’t even look at you. “You selfish, inconsiderate, compete and utter dick!” you stated, as he closed it behind you. “I guess you’re welcome” he said as serious as ever. “You bit me Derek, I never asked for this” you ran your hands through your hair in frustration. “I saved your life, you seem to be forgetting that” he rolled his eyes. “Do you expect me to be forever grateful?” you asked sarcastically.“ I did this for you, Y/N!” Derek shouted. “None of this is for me, you did this because you didn’t want to deal with the grief!” you retaliated. “No one wanted to watch you die, maybe you’re the selfish one for thinking like that” he snarled. “You don’t get it, do you? You’ve made my life a living hell!” your voice was higher than usual because you were trying not to cry. “By making you faster, stronger, younger for longer-” he listed. “By making me uncontrollable, scared, vicious, a monster-”  you finished for him. “Well I’m sorry to disappoint you” he sighed. “You have no idea” you exclaimed, storming out before he could say another word. He can save his bullshit speeches for Isaac, Erica and soon to be Boyd. You weren’t buying any of his protective act, he didn’t do it for you. He did it for himself, for comfort or his own power gain. You didn’t care, you were done with Derek Hale.

“So…you’re a werewolf now?” Stiles asked. “Looks like it” you said, looking down at your hot chocolate. “Can I ask you a question?” he looked at you sympathetically. “You just did” you said, raising your eyebrows. You looked at him from the corner of your eye noticing he was still waiting, “Sure” you huffed. “You didn’t want to be saved, my question is why?” he asked. “Erm, I guess I don’t want to be an out of control maniac twice a month” you answered shortly. “I mean the real reason-” he intervened. You took a deep breath and it just sort of poured out of you, “I’m not like Scott, I’m not brave or selfless. I act like I’m not afraid of anything, but honestly I’m scared all the time. People would kill to be a werewolf, or to be involved in this kind of stuff. But honestly, I would do anything just to be able to walk out of my house only having to worry about grades and boys, not keeping myself and my friends from dying”. “Y/N, you’re one of, if not the bravest person I know. Not many people would go looking for the Kanima on their own as a human. Plus, you did it for Lydia” he reassured. “I don’t even know why I’m telling you this, normally I only tell-” you cut yourself off. “Derek?” he asked. You nod your head and sighed, “I was so horrible to him, when all he did was try to save me”. “You love him, don’t you” Stiles smiled, giving you a nudge. “You looked up from your hot chocolate trying to conceal a smile. “It doesn’t matter, the feeling isn’t mutual anyway” you shrugged. “Well, you didn’t see him the other night. You know, after you plummeted from a four- story building” he said, taking a loud sip of his drink. “I’m familiar with said accident and why, what do you mean?” you asked curiously. “He was all over the place, he ran over and knelt beside you. From what I could see from above he was actually crying, until his eyes glowed red and he growled. He was there for about two minutes holding you, but when you didn’t wake up he had no other choice but to bite you” he claimed, taking great delight in telling you after watching you try to hide your smile in your shoulder. “You mean Derek Hale, sour wolf cried over me?” you were sceptical to say the least. “Don’t tell him this but Scott swore he heard him whisper, ‘you’re going to hate me for this’ before he bit you, so please go and prove him wrong” Stiles hinted. You gave him an understanding smile and kissed his cheek.

“Derek” you said a lot quieter, knocking on his door. This time he didn’t answer. “Derek please, listen I’m sorry” you said, waiting to hear so much as a scoff or sarcastic comment from the other side. “ I was out of order the other day and I came to apologise with all the kindness in my heart-” you added, still waiting for a reply. “Plus the full moon is coming up and I cant do this without you” you were persistent. “Okay, that’s not why I came here. I erm, I don’t exactly know how to say this… I like you Derek and you never know when the last time you’ll see someone in this town is. I’d go insane knowing the last time I spoke to you we argued” he was still giving you nothing. “Just open the door, I’m trying yo make amends here and you’re making this twice as hard”. You suddently heard a squeak from a floorboard behind you. You turned around quickly. “And how do you suppose you’re going to make amends?” he asked, smirking. “Like this” you said, running at him. He hoisted you up with his muscular arms as you pressed a sweet kiss on his lips, awaiting a reaction. Derek leant your back against his front door, he pressed his lips to yours again. It became more passionate and desperate. You both smiled against each others lips, “You have no idea how long I waited for this” he claimed. “I think I have a rough idea” you furthered. He pushed his door wide open and slammed it closed behind the pair of you. And you certainly did have a large make up session so to speak.

Sorry this one kind of sucks but Hale, I tried. Beg someone to send me a request I need some inspiration for my current writers block x

Come back to me.

(picture is not mine) 

n\a: This was based in one of favorite scenes from OTH andis pure angst, but (being the hopelessly romantic that I am) I’m writting another part. So if anyone want it just ask me and i’ll post it. Sorry for any mistake and hope you guys enjoy!

Dear Spencer,  

For the second JJ said those words and asked me to the hospital, I froze. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t breathe and I’m almost sure my body gave in because I felt my sister’s arms around me.  

And now that I’m managing to at least think, all that occurs to me is a tiny moment we lived. A tiny and almost insignificant moment we shared years ago. Over and over the same small moment. I can’t tell you why. Well actually I can.  

It must’ve been our first year of marriage. You had just came back from a case and it was your birthday night. I said that we should do something special, you said you didn’t want to do anything but I, being the stubborn that I am, insisted that we should at least have your favorite Ice cream and have a movie marathon. Remember this?

I brought mint chocolate chip and you asked me why, and I was so confused because every time we had ice cream together that’s what you had so I thought it was your favorite. But you smiled shyly and told me that it wasn’t.  You looked me in the eyes and said,-  

You looked me in the eyes and said, that you always chose mint chocolate chip because you knew it was my favorite. And because whenever you asked that flavor my eyes sparkled and I smiled at you.  I remember that I froze in my spot, with my mouth hanged open and no words. You smiled and moved to get some spoons.  

That moment. In those sweet seconds, Spencer, I realized that I was doomed. I loved you so much and I realized that you haven’t been making your decisions for yourself. You never did. You always thought about how they could affect the others in a better way, whenever it was you team, your mom or me. Even in the small things like an ice cream flavor.  

And in those seconds, before your hands were wrapped around my waist and we moved to the couch, it occurred to me that I didn’t know not even a half about you and how much I needed to change that. And since that Spencer, I learned so much about you, and everything just made me fall more and more for you. The brave, funny and selfless man that I love.  

I beg of you Spencer. Please. I can’t hear that you’ll never come home again. That I’ll never learn something new about you again. I can’t stand the fact that I’ll never to listen to your voice rumble about something so passionate that makes me feel eager to hear more.  

Please.  

 I’m still in shock Spencer. My feet move while Penelope conducts me to the room.  

Have we really had our last conversation?  

Our last kiss?  

P says that they’re doing all they can to wake you. But you don’t.  

Spencer.

My hand touches your face but it’s not the same. And it is so weird to touch you and don’t feel you pressure your face against my hand like you always do. Do you remember why you even started doing that? It was because of Michelangelo, my cat. He died a few months after we got married and I said I missed him doing it.. God, Spencer, come back to me.  

You can’t leave me now. Not now, not ever.  

My hand falls from your face as soon as I feel something in my stomach.  Our little girl. She misses you. You said that the mother’s emotions are shared with the baby and that I should try to stay calm not to scare her, remember?  You were so happy when I told you I was pregnant. I was so scared, not only for the big step but because of your reaction. You hugged me and said that it was ok to be scared, but the we could do it.  

I cant do this without you, Spence.  

Please,- Please come back to me.  

Love, from yours,

now and forever, 

Y/N. 

She was my better half, my good side. My hope. My strength. She was everything I wasn’t
—  Lost hope

anonymous asked:

i really want to start comic-ing.... but I dont know how to put people into interactions and finding specific poses are so hard cuz i cant do stuff without reference... how do you find references and get all that structure (help me senpai I love your work)

Ah! :D
That’s something I find hard as well ^^
I don’t know much to say for advice, except to look at what other people do that you like :O
Look at comics you like and try and see what you like about the angles or the body language :D
It can be hard to find really specific refs, so if you have some friends who are willing to pose for you, that is nice ^^
Additionally you can look at yourself in the mirror or have ppl take pictures of you to use as refs :3
Happy that you like my work so much!!!
Hope that was helpful~

  • Percival: Credence ... Wait, listen. I-I know you'll never forgive me for what he did using my face , and I dont blame you. I wont forgive me either.
  • Credence: *stops running*
  • Percival: You had to suffer so much just because I wasnt strong enough to defeat Gridelwald. Im going to fix this. But I cant do it without you.
  • Credence: *starts to cry*
  • Percival: and after we're done , you can hate me . and I'll be fine with that , because I was a horrible friend . I hurt you ... and you can walk away with a better family . You deserved it .
Let Me Love You

A/N This is my version of 722.



“Thanks” he told the human that was kind enough to receive the package for him.

He walked back swiftly to the twin room he shared with Caroline.

“Caroline” he called out to her as he opened the door.

“Where have you been?” She asked, there was a tiredness in her voice that she had stopped masking weeks ago.

“Here.. theres something for you” He said waving the package at her.

“What is it?”

“Open it” he said smiling warmly. She rolled her eyes in return.

She tore open the package and froze.

“How did you?”

“I asked Ric to send them.. told him you were feeling down and out.. thought this would cheer you up” He said looking at her astonished, teary eyes.

A small smile began to light up her face. “They look so cute” She said looking at the pictures of the girls.

It had been just 5 weeks that they were on the run, but as each day drew to a close he could see her resolve and optimism chipping away bit by bit. The package contained pictures and drawings, basically a montage of everything she missed and an ode to how much they missed her.

“They miss you” He whispered. 

“I miss them too”

“I know. .”

“But they need you to come back home when this is all done.” He said, his voice cracking slightly.

She looked up at him, her eyebrows furrowed slightly.

“You can’t give up.. even if you feel this is all..pointless..”

He tapped at the polaroid of the girls smiling widely. “Do it for them” He said and swallowed the lump in his throat. She nodded slightly.

“Thank you”

“You’re welcome.” He said stepping away slightly, allowing her to go back to gazing at the picture of her girls.

_______________________

Keep reading

time to rant again becauseᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

because im a lit bit tired of people writing in fics or fanarts or whatever

that marinette’s feeling towards adrien are less important or less stronger than his. and that’s not true. 

Just because Marinette is a strong female characer and more cautious about her feelings and it’s not as impulsive or overexpressive as Adrien is (you come into my house and dont talk about the Animan episode? cmon) doesnt mean she doesnt feel in the same amount.

And that goes about how she feels about Chat too. She cares about him. A lot. The Pharaoh episode is one of the episodes in where that happens (”I cant do it without you” or something like that). So everytime i see people saying she doesnt care i get mad.

Sure she is a very bit obsessed and needs to learn to control her emotions but she is still a teenager, maybe 14 or 15. 

So dismissing her feelings is not making her the justice she deserves

jaybirbwalking  asked:

omg jayroy as the gamegrumps. Now I'm always going to imagine jason screaming "what am I willing to put up with today? NOT FUCKING THIS!"

“jason, dont leave. jason don’t– JAAAASON! i loVE YOU–”

“no. im fuckin done. im fuckin DONE. this is BULLSHIT. this is FUCKING BULLSHIT”

“i cant get– i caNT GET uP–”

“WHAT IS THIS? WHAT IS THIS?”

“im stuCK–”

“WHAT IS MY LIFE?”

“…”

“i can’t do it, roy.”

“i cant either–”

“i canT FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE–”

“wELL ILL TELL YOU WHAT, JASON. YOU CAN GIVE UP NOW OR YOU CAN FIGHT IT OUT BECAUSE I CERTAINLY CANT DO IT WITHOUT YOU AND I KNOW YOU CANT DO IT WITHOUT ME”

“…i appreaciate it, but LOOK WHAT WE’RE DEALING WITH, MAN”

“jason–”

“YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE–”

“jason–”

“yOU GOTTA DRAW THE FUCKIN LINE IN THE SAND, DUDE”

“jason–”

“YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT. you gotta look inside yourself and say, ‘what am i willing to put up with today?’ NOT fuckin THIS!”

*barely intelligible yelling from both parties*

“i think both of us got a little heated and maybe we should apologize to each other”

“its because we’re in a lava stage, dude”

Goodbye

Pair : Sam x Reader

Music : Holding on and Letting Go by Ross Copperman

REQUEST : Hi i love your writing and was wondering if you do a oneshot of Sam losing his brother so the reader sells her soul to save him. You can decide the ending. PLEASE PLEAAAAAASE YOUR THE BEST! LOVE YOU MY QUEEN thankss. 

A/N : Ok i was trying to figure out how to end this until i heard this song and it hit me. Its short, but its probably the most heart wrenching story i have ever written. I couldnt stop crying lol. Enjoy!

He was losing himself again. Watching his brother, slowly escape and die in his arms. Sam was lost as he begged Dean to keep fighting. To stay awake.

It cringed my body, like a thousand spiders crawling up and down my spine. His pleads echoed in my head.

“Dean!” He croaked. His tears stained his hair as he held Dean as close as he could. He was losing his brother.

I knew what I had to do.

“I’m so sorry.”  I whispered.

Without hesitating, I made my way down to the impala. Dragging out everything I needed to call upon a crossroad demon.

Sam was everything to me. From the moment we met in High school. I knew he was going to be something special. Our life together was everything I could have asked for. But I know without his brother, He would be no one.

I would do anything for him. For the man who does nothing but give, who would give his life for anyone he cared for. But I couldn’t bear to lose him in the darkness. He needed his brother more than he needed me.

“Hello love.” The red eyed demon stood before me. Her lips curved up and a soft snarl escaped.
“What can I do for you?”

I took in a deep breath, my heart pounding like a hammer as tears strolled down my cheeks. I was scared. But I know this was the only way to bring his brother back…Even if this means I have to leave them. My family.

“I’ll make a deal with you. Take my soul and save Deans.” I spewed out. My voice trembled as a knot formed in the back of my throat.

The demon tilted her head and smiled. “And why should I do such a thing?”

“Because, if Dean dies, he will be going to heaven. But if you save him, you will get my soul. Isnt that your job?” I grunted.

She took a step closer and chuckled. It made me sick to my stomach. Wishing I could kill her right there and then.

“Fine.” She smirked. “But, saving him is a tragic mistake in my book. So instead of giving you 10 years like  everyone else gets, You only have 10 minutes with the guys. Then you’re all mine.” She flashed an evil smile.

“That’s bull shit! It wont give me time to say goodbye! I need to say goodbye to-”

“Then the deal is off.”

I pursed my lips and folded my arms to my chest. If I do this, Dean lives. If only I was able to see his face once more before leaving, this wouldn’t be so hard. But time was running out. I had to decide.

I swallowed hard, and felt the tears come crashing down harder, and faster.

“Fine. it’s a deal.” I muttered.

She threw her head back and laughed. Taunting me with her cynical laughter. It made everything worse. Made me feel sick, as if I were about to throw up. I couldn’t breathe. My chest felt tight and my throat was knotted.

10 more minutes, then I am forever gone.

Just 10 minutes.

—————————————————-

Running through the halls of the abandon warehouse, I could feel my lung burn as the cold air hit the back of my throat. Adrenaline pumped through my veins, I have never felt this alone in my life.

“Sam!!” I croaked. Hoping to reach him before my time was up. “Sammy!” I couldn’t control my emotions as I continued running for him.

“Y/N?” He yelped.

And there he was. Down the hall, staring directly at me. My feet felt heavy as I forced myself to him. My breathing became heavy.

He tilted his head and furrowed his brows.

He was confused. Of course he was, I never told him what I was doing. What I decided to do.

And I wasn’t going to.

I pushed my feet off the ground, and wrapped both my arms and legs around him. Pulling him in as close as I can. This was the last time I would ever feel him. Feeling safe in his arms.

“Hey whats wrong?” He whispered. His cheeks were puffed and his eyes were blood shot from all the crying. “Look Dean is ok. I mean he is still in a lot of pain, but he isn’t dying. Hes awake and talking.” He smiled. Cupping my face.

That was exactly what I needed. To see him happy, knowing that he was ok.

My tears stained my cheeks as they fell harder and faster. “That’s great.” I finally let out. My throat was tightening as each word fell from my lips.

“I love you Sammy. Ok?”

He flashed a small smile and chuckled. “I love you too Y/N. So much.” Closing the distance between us both, my lips met his. Taking him in, I held on to him, savoring every second I had.

This kiss was more to me than any other we ever had. It was my goodbye to him. His hand tangled into my hair, as we parted our lips and rested our heads together.

“Thank you.” I muttered. “Thank you for everything. For the best years of my life.”

“What? Why are you talking like that?” He stammered. “Whats going on?”

I locked my gaze with his for a moment. I wish I could stay in that moment forever. If I could, I would spend the rest of my life with him. Because he was my other half. He was mine.

It was time. Time to leave and spend the rest of eternity in hell.

I wiped my tears and forced a smile. “Take care of Dean.” I took in a deep breath. “And take care of John.”

Saying his name, I lost it. I immediately turned on my heels and started for the door.

With every step I took, flashes of my life with Sam and John flooded my mind.

His smile, his dimple, his laughter and everything else. I cant breathe. I cant see. I was never going to hold him again. Never going to feel his little fingers wrapped around mine. I was leaving a part of me behind and it was killing me. I was leaving my family.

Pushing the door, the cold air hit my face.

“Ready?” the demon cackled. She called for her hellhound. Something I have heard about but never seen, until now. It was massive, growling as its black eyes pierced into mine. I could feel my heart pound as my stomach churned. This was it.

“Y/N!!” Sam screamed. My eyes met his. He started to run toward me as he continued to yell out for me. But it was too late.

“I love you.” I exhaled.

The claws of the hellhound dug into my chest, ripping me apart. It was excruciating and all I could do was scream. Wishing it would be over.

I never took my gaze off him. The only thing that made me feel safe.

Slowly, I could feel myself slip away as the hellhound tore into me. Breaking through my skin.

“NO!” Sam croaked.

————————————————–
(Sam’s POV)

I finally reached Y/N. Pulling her into my lap, she looked scared. Helpless.

“Dean!!” I yelped. “What did you do? Why?” I cried.

My tears fell over her as her eyes met mine. Blood was spewing out of her, and she was fading in and out of consciousness.

“Don’t cry.” She stammered. “I love-” She took her last breath, not able to finish her sentence.

My heart dropped to my stomach and I couldn’t help but cry harder.

Clenching on to her tightly, I couldn’t breathe. My body ached, to the point where every part of me hurt.

“John and I need you Y/N.” I whispered. “We need you, please.”
My world crashed and I was alone. I don’t want this. I cant do this without her.

She was everything i have ever wanted. The only thing in my life that proved to me that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. With everything that has happened to me in my life, she was there. She never left. 

And now shes gone. Never coming back. I can’t do this-I wasnt ready. Our entire life, we were suppose to grow old together. 

“Why did you do this? we were suppose to spend the rest of our lives together. what happened Y/N?” I could feel myself begin to whimper. My body was slowly shaking as my eyes welled with tears. “You were the only one that kept me going. Y/N, I cant do this without you.” 

I feel like giving up. My entire body was shaking. Here i was, holding my Fiancee, who was no longer breathing. I want to go back, go back to this morning when everything was ok. Making breakfast for her and John. dancing around the kitchen as Dean played gold fish with John. What i would do to go back to that. What i would do to have her breathe once again. 

My phone rang, making me jolt.

“Hey buddy.” I tried to keep my voice from trembling.

“Daddy, are you and mommy coming home yet?” John muttered.

His words cursed me, creating my emotions to get the best of me making me lose all control. How was I suppose to tell him that his mom died, in my arms. How was I going to go home without her. How was I going to live and raise john alone?

“Yea we’ll be home soon. I love you John.”

“I love you too Daddy.”

“AHHHHHH!!!” I screamed my lungs out into the air, as I threw my phone. I lost everything. And here I thought things would get better, but I was so wrong.

I pulled her closer to me and wept into her hair. Smelling her perfume as the blood stained my hands. I don’t want to let her go yet. I’m not ready.

“I love you.” I whispered.

closetdeer  asked:

I might be pregnant with Ziall

From Nialler (11:54AM):
can you come over right now

Zayn is already well on his way over to Niall’s house when he gets the text, just a short message, no capitals or punctuation or anything like that and, on anyone else it would be fine but this is Niall so Zayn kind of, maybe, freaks out. A lot. But then it’s all, Zayn can’t get out of the metro doors fast enough and he finds himself trapped behind this couple that insist on standing side by side on the escalator and then he’s finally outside but he’s not ashamed when he takes off running down the street toward Niall’s apartment. Niall lives near to the metro station anyway so he knows it won’t take him long and this way will just get him there faster. 

Still, Zayn is winded by the time he gets to the first floor, clutching at a stitch in his side when he’s finally on Niall’s floor, and he’s still panting when he gets to Niall’s door but, trying the knob, he finds that it’s locked which is really really odd. It’s just that, Niall had asked him over but now the door is locked and Zayn just doesn’t understand. Usually, the door is unlocked in expectation of his arrival and, for that reason, Zayn has never seen reason to carry a key. He regrets that now. 

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17. “How is leaving so easy for you?“
50. “I will never forgive you for this.”

Poe X Reader

Requested by anon.

“I just got you back and now you’re leaving again?!” You felt the tears begin to well as you followed closely behind Poe.

He turned on his heels, locking his gaze with yours. “Y/N, I have to. If I don’t go out there, then the First Order wins. And I can’t let that happen. They need me.”

“And what about me? I need you. I cant do this, any of this without you!”

He let out a sigh. Poe hated to see you this upset. Especially when it was his doing. He was torn. He knew what he had to do, but he didn’t want to hurt you anymore.

“Y/N-”

“I love you, but I can’t keep living like this. Worrying if you are alive. When I found out you were taken by Kylo Ren, I was destroyed. I thought I’d never see you again.” A lump formed in your throat, making it hard to breathe. “Please don’t go. Please! I need you-we-” you paused, holding your stomach as to remind him that you were pregnant. “We need you.”

His eyes battled with tears, as his lips quivered. “I’m sorry Y/N, but I have to do this.”

He pressed his lips to your head, and started toward the ship.

“How is leaving so easy for you?” Your voice cracked, feeing as if you had been betrayed.

Poe swallowed hard. “It’s not easy. I hate leaving you.” He whispered.

“Then don’t go! It’s that simple!”

“Y/N, please don’t make this any harder than it already is. I will come back. I promise.” He stared intently into your eyes, long enough to watch the tears stream down your cheeks. “I love you.” He muttered.

“I will never forgive you for this.” You whispered.