i-can-deal-with-this-shit

I can’t deal with this shit,I cant fucking handle this bodyswap thing. Its horrible and Magnus doesn’t deserve it!

Please shadowhunter writers,throw some humor in it(despite this whole thing being awful and traumatizing) I need it to survive next episode.

.Just have Valentine(in Magnus’ body) Awkwardly dodge out of Alecs advances.

.Or him not knowing where the fuck Magnus lives,so he just walks around aimlesly in Brooklyn,not knowing where the fuck to go.

I dont understand my mother
Im a whore when i kiss guys, im gross and a whore when i kiss girls

Im not normal for being lactose-intolerant and vegetarian, and i should stop complaining about the lack of food at home i can eat bc if i was normal i could eat anything but im also apparently anorexic ALSO really fat and stuffing my mouth always

I shouldnt bring home clothes from strangers bc she doesnt want to wash them also it shows im a whore even if i offer to wash them

I spent the whole day in my room medicating myself with sleeping medicine so i can deal with this shit again somehow, but i just came home to sleep

When i leave my room im also provoking fights so thats my fault too

I tried to kill myself 2 times in like one month but i did it for attention anyway, just bc the last one was more of a panic response

Im not normal and my physical and mental health does not matter more than my achievments, as long as i achieve something it doesnt matter if im dead or alive

Im not normal so i should be thankful for the way people treat someone like me. I only deserve to be treated like a decent human being, when im a transphobic, homophobic, racist, sexist and ableist neurotypical who agrees with everything dearest mother says :)))

anonymous asked:

I bet that you're the type of person that has mutuals that only followed them out of pity,and that lied about being sexually abused.

I…i wish that I had a snarky comeback.But that honestly hurt Anon,hope your happy.

*……….😞,I’m going to sleep,I can’t deal with this shit.*

ARE FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW? ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW? THIS IS NOT FUCKING FUNNY! I AM CRYING MY EYES OUT AND I AM ANGRY AF BECAUSE CAS DIED, MARY IS GONE AND THE BLOODY SON OF LUCIFER IS A FUCKING TEENAGER OR SOMEYHING I DON’T FUCKING CARE RIGHT NOW! FUCK THIS SHIT, I DON’T DESERVE THIS SHIT! FUCK MY LIFE! I GONNA READ MARVEL OR DC SHIT SO I CAN FUCKING CALM MYSELF BEFORE I GO SLEEP AND IT’S 4 AM IN THE FUCKING MORNING I CAN’T DEAL WITH THIS SHIT RIGHT NOW!

FUCK THIS SHIT I’M OUT!

anonymous asked:

What's the blog of the previous admins ? I cant deal with kids who think they know what they're talking about

I’m sorry? I can’t deal with people who talk shit on anonymous :)

- Niyah

anonymous asked:

I mean shit u gotta stop doing this to me, I literally hurry to scroll away whenever any of your stories show up on my dash cause I can't deal with that shit unprepared. And then sometimes I go onto your blog and read everything and cry and feel like I could rule the world so thanks bro

aw, thank you for this nice message!!! :)

anonymous asked:

lol my view is not wrong bro I will never degrade myself to respect a woman who doesn't deserve it

So in ur mind if u respect a woman it’s degrading 🤦🏻‍♂️🤦🏻‍♂️🤦🏻‍♂️🤦🏻‍♂️🦍🦍🦍🦍🦍 that’s me walking away cuz I can’t deal with ur shit

so I found some posts on her blog bc I can’t deal with the shit in my life and even though everything’s feeling not good bc of it, I think I’ll be able to like. move past all of this now.

it’s good to see in her own writing that she used my bpd against me and that she absolved herself of all responsibility because she had to lie about the situation. 

but yes. self harmed to avoid self harm. this was the first time I went on her blog after I blocked her. this is the last time I’ll go on her blog.

4

“Too Good”….Pt. 4

After Teeleah came back from some appointment she had two weeks ago, she started taking this brand kick she’s been on, to another fuckin level. I mean she took nude photos for some fashion magazine and let some model cover up her breast for her Balmain denim ad. Tonight she’s hosting the annual Black & Gold event, at an exclusive lounge where plenty of artists and celebrities are gonna be. I usually go every year, but since me and Leah aren’t even speaking, I’m sitting this one out. Besides, I’m too busy tryin to get this track done with Drizzy and my cousin Dream. To be producing, singing on, and writing part of a major artist’s song is nerve wrecking but shows how far I’ve come in my career. With both of us at our highest peaks, we should be killing the game together on some Bonnie and Clyde type shit, but she’s too focused on using her body for attention to see that. Her antics are stressing me the fuck out, and I honestly don’t know how long I can deal. Shit, like I said before we aren’t speaking and in my book that means that it’s not gonna be long before we split. I damn sure don’t want that, but it seems like we can’t get it together. I want to marry her, make some babies, and go grey with her, but with all this tension and arguing, a small part of me wants to go back to being single when shit was stress free…Humph, shit got me really fucked up. After we finished the vocals and everyone stuck around to chill for a minute. I hoped that no one would ask about Leah, but of course that shit happened. While Dream was too distracted by Drizzy to grill me about Leah, my uncle instantly brought our situation up.

Mason: “So you finally decided to pull out the triple threat, hunh?…Shit is fire. Even though we could’ve done without hearing details of how you fuck. Good thing ya brother is too busy in his phone to even pay attention to shit.” 

Moses: “Pops it’s a song though.”

Mason: “Yeah written by you, shit. You just like me, you write from experience.” He said, laughing.

Moses: “Maybe, ha, but I’m not admitting to shit. So anyway wassup with tha beard old man with experience?”

Mason: “Old man?? Nah it seems like ya aunt loves it, so I figured I’d keep it. She keeps callin me Zaddy cause of it and shit. I’m living a very healthy and active lifestyle for an experienced old man.” He said, smirking.

Moses: *groaning* “I really didn’t need to know that…Damn. You stay doin that shit.”

Mason: “And you stay asking for it, ha. But speaking of significant others, What the fuck is going on with Leah? I mean she always been a dime but who knew she was stacked like that? I hope you’re not okay with her flaunting her shit like that? And not to mention ya’ll takin jabs and unfollowin each other on snapchat and simstagram, fuck is goin on?”

Moses: “Damn, I knew one of ya’ll would ask. I don’t even know though. For one thing, I’m no way in hell, cool with the shit she been doin. I don’t have a problem with the fact that she’s blowin up and making a name for herself instead of being behind the scenes, like she claims I do. I mean shit, that’s more money in her pocket, it’s helpin her boutique, givin her more clients, and it makes her happy. My issue is with the way she’s going about it, usin her body n shit. You feel me? She’s bad as fuck with clothes on and everyone sees that so to go through these lengths ain’t necessary. I tried to tell her but she ain’t budging. We been arguing left and right about this shit. Pops, her last shoots were fuckin ridiculous.”

Mason: *clears throat* “…Umm yeah we all saw it. Should’ve seen your aunt’s face when Mimi messy ass showed her.”

Moses: “Exactly! She lost her fuckin mind. I got people asking me whats goin on with us, since she loves to vent on social media, makin slick comments about her body n shit, and people callin her a thot, gold digger, and user. I’m just tired of it all. Plus, she even wants Asia gone, claiming she doesn’t trust her.”

Mason: “Hold up, Asia?? She got a girlfriend. She ain’t no threat.”

Moses: “Thank you, shit. She keeps pressin me to tell her why Asia’s here too.”

Mason: “What?? Did u tell her?”

Moses: “Hell nah!! Shit…Do I look crazy to you? I feel terrible for lyin to her but this is some shit I don’t think she can look past given what she’s been through. I would have to tell her everything and I know she ain’t gonna keep it between us. Besides, tellin her what happened with Trisha?? I know for sure she’s not gonna be cool with it. Plus this ain’t the right time…Not with all this shit we goin through.” 

Mason: “Good. We can’t take that risk. Asia is on her grind, handlin it and i’m confident this shit will go away. There is no need to press that panic button and let her know anything, you feel me son?” He said, giving me that scary ass look he used to have when I was out of line as a kid. 

Moses: ‘Yeah…I know what’s at stake and I’m not tryin to fuck anything up.”

As soon as I said that, the studio door opened and Leah’s ass waltzed in. I was at a loss for words at the shit she had on. She was obviously naked under her dress. It’s one thing to have shit on like that in photos, ads, and magazines, but to do this in public? Around people in the Industry? People I’m cool with?? Without me?? She’s crossing the line now, just showin she gives zero fucks with no regard for me. I stared at her as she approached, apparently to talk to me.

Leah: “Hey, I just wanted to let you know I was leaving. If anybody asks where you are, what do you want me to tell them?”

Moses: “Umm, you can just say I’m busy in the studio.” I said, confused, narrowing my eyes at her. 

Leah: “Ok.” She said, as she then turned around and headed for the door. “Oh and I’m comin home pretty late since Gerri’s probably gonna want to hit up an after party so don’t wait up.” *continuing to walk out*

I was beyond pissed that she thought it was okay to go out like this. Man, to make shit worse, she was clearly just trying to rub it in my face. I had a choice to make: either ignore her bullshit or confront her outside. 

When I got outside, her car was still there and she was nowhere to be found. I knew she wasn’t pullin up to this exclusive event in her friend’s car so I waited. As she approached, I was cool headed, but when she got closer I realized I could see her nip-slip. At that moment I gave zero fucks about comin at her calmly, this shit has gone too far and it need to end.  

“What are you doin out here, Moses?” She said, with a slight attitude.

“Humph, I see you cut the fake act. What was the point of that? You could’ve text me that shit. We ain’t speak in days and then you come in there like everything is cool between us. Were you tryin to throw the fact that you’re going out in that shit in my face? You’re fuckin naked Leah! I can see your fuckin nipple right now! You don’t even have on underwear!! What the fuck is wrong with you, goin out like you single or some shit??”

“Here we go with this nonsense again! Number one, I’m grown and can do whatever the fuck I want. The dress is tapped so my parts aren’t visible. So I have a little nip-slip? Big fuckin deal! I have tape with me to fix it.”

“What if that shit happens again, in front of everybody? People I fuck with? The media? You honestly don’t care that your nipples or pussy can be exposed!?”

“No I don’t. Shit like that goes away. Look I’m trying to get to the event I was hired to do so can you move?”    

“No. Even though you don’t care I do, so I’m not movin until you go back upstairs and change into something that won’t have you as the first post on Mediatakeout.”

“Excuse me?? You’re fuckin buggin, Moses. Move from in front of my fuckin car!” 

“Humph, last time I checked I still hold the tittle to it so technically it’s my car.” I said, staring her dead in her face. 

“FUCK YOU, MOSES!!!” She yelled, as she threw her keys at me and walked to the end of the driveway. “You think I need anything coming from you?? Humph, it’s called Uber, Gerri can drive tonight and tomorrow you won’t have to worry about me touchin your precious shit ever again!”

"You seriously takin a Uber damn near naked??? Yo! You are losing it, Leah. I’m not letting you get in fuckin cab like that. Just take your car!. I was just tryin to get you to see that this shit ain’t cool. I didn’t mean that shit!”

“Oh please! It came out of your mouth so you meant it. You want to control me?? Bae, I let it happen once and like I keep fuckin sayin, it will NEVER happen again! You wanna be a monster like that mothafucka? You chose the wrong bitch!”  

Before I could respond, my uncle stopped me and Dream went over to talk to Leah. 

Mason: “Aye son, Chill!”

Moses: “Nah, she lost her fuckin mind Pops! Do see that shit? She’s naked! And she wants to get in a fuckin Uber??”

Mason: “We heard y’all whole argument. Dream is gonna take her to her friend’s house. But you? I gotta have a serious talk with your ass. I didn’t like what heard, Moses. I raised you better than that. I may have slipped up with a few bitches here and there, but I never disrespected your aunt or tried to make her do what I wanted no matter how much I disagreed with somethin.” 

Dream: “Alright y’all, we’re leavin! Come on Leah, just show me turn by turn how to get to ya girlfriend’s house. Shit, I’m terrible with directions.” She said as they got in her car and drove off. 

As soon as they were out of sight, my uncle hit me up side my head hard as shit. He caught me so off guard that I couldn’t even think of somethin to say. 

Mason: “I swear boy, don’t ever let me catch you sayin that shit to her again! Talkin bout this is my car and go back upstairs and change? You lost your fuckin mind! I don’t give a fuck if you ain’t mean it, you said it. What if she actually listened to you? You ain’t no controlling ass mothafucka so stop with the bullshit. If y’all can’t come to some middle ground, then y’all need to take a break. Period.” 

As we walked back into the studio to finish editing the track with Drizzy, everything my uncle said replayed in my head. He couldn’t be any more right when it came to this shit. I knew I was deadass wrong but I was willing to say anything to get her to change. That was fucked up and way out of character for me. I’m not controlling and everything I have is hers. Once we sat down, I sent her a long text, apologizing, but she didn’t respond. I expected that, so when she gets home I’m going to try to talk to her. I’m done caring about how she looks, I just want the back and forth shit to be over. I just want my girl back.   

Previous 

that was so fucking pointless like “oh hey all of these peoples’ contracts are up, i guess we’ll just kill them all instead of renewing!!” like fuck off cas’ death was the most unnecessary thing it had no relevance to the plot whatsoever if he doesn’t come back next season i quit i am unsubbing disliking unfollowing this show is garbage it should’ve ended after season 5 instead of putting me through this ridiculous tunnel of emotions i already have enough teenage angst as is without this pile of shit on top of it

good day i am going to hang myself bc i can’t deal w the utter shit show that has become supernatural