I just realized that Rey may have never experienced snow before leaving Jakku and that made me sad because that means she’s probably never built a snowman before, but then I remembered that BB-8 basically is one.
Sometimes (okay most of the time) I sit and think about how much time Regina has spent believing Emma is her true love. There’s the making magic scene at the beginning of S2, ending Pan’s curse in the end of 3a, and all that comes between. The way that she looks at Emma now, I don’t think Regina has ever completely given up the notion that Emma could be her true love. I think she has backed away because she is afraid, she doesn’t believe she deserves it, and because she sees Emma with Hook and she wants more than anything for Emma to be happy even if that means she settles.
And that alone is huge for Regina- for her to think outside of her own desire for happiness. It just shows how far she’s come.
I don’t cry a lot. I don’t cry at all, actually. People think I’m an extrovert because of how loud I am and how I’m laughing most of the time. But I’m actually an introvert. I talk a lot. But never about the serious things. I don’t know why. I guess I spent so much time sitting on the other side of a doctor’s desk answering questions about my life that it feels like it’s made me speechless. I have a lot to say but it just won’t come out. Ever. I am not a happy person. I have never been and probably will never be a happy person. I’m not a victim. I was never bullied. I was never hurt by anyone. It’s just that my brain, heart and soul are not great roomies. They don’t get along very well. They’re fighting, hard and loud, all the time. It’s like having bombs drop in my head, you know? I’ve learned to live with the headaches. I never actually looked for a way to get rid of them. They were, are and will be a part of me forever. When I grew up to be a teenager, I re-discovered art. Movies, books, paintings… and music. At 13, I made a plan to become a screenwriter and a director. I wanted to make a movie starring Meryl Streep and have Amy Winehouse paint me a gorgeous soundtrack. I loved Amy. God knows I did. And I still do. When Amy died, I felt like, somehow, my dreams were crushed. It was unfair and I did not want to live in a world where people like Amy Winehouse die at 27. I had this friend who was a huge fan of Adele’s. I myself loved her back in the 19 era because it was such a sweet yet mind-blowing piece of art. I was a little disappointed by 21 when it came out. Everyone was listening to it, singing it… I wasn’t paying attention. But this friend, a little while after Amy died, sent me a video of Adele singing Someone Like You at the Royal Albert Hall. I watched it and that was the point of no return. I fell in love, hard. But not only did I fall in love, my dreams came alive again. I lied down in my bed, locked my bedroom door and pressed play. The record was blasting in my ears at top volume. And for a moment, my heart, soul and brain were one. There was no war. No gunshots. No bombs. Just calm. For the first time, ever, I felt free. Freed from myself. I don’t think I’ve told anyone about this moment. It was just so intimate and beautiful. Life-changing. From this day on, I have loved Adele for setting me free when I thought I would only be free the day I’d die. I have loved Adele for all these times she’s made me brave, ambitious, hungry for life. I have loved Adele for the peace only her can lay on my heart. It’s exhausting, to be me. It’s hard, it’s painful. She’s made it beautiful. If there’s one thing Adele has taught me is that pain is a thing to cherish and embrace, because it makes you who you are. You are your scars. You are your past. Don’t resent it. Turn it into diamonds and glitter. She brought back a heart I thought I’d lost, and I may or may not have shed a tear while writing this. I don’t cry a lot.