I think I’d enjoy a relationship with someone who is vers just because I like to flip flop and I want him to appreciate all the squats I do… but also being with someone who only likes to bottom would be chill too bc I also like to just put my dick in things, and it would be cool if that thing was my boyfriends butthole.
I think dating an exclusive top would get exhausting bc it would just be me trying to put a finger in him and it’d be like the same old tired song and dance and we’d drift apart but still move to the suburbs and I’d make him my famous mac and cheese and he’d tell me about how this relationship is draining and that he’s cheated on me with 15 bottoms from Christian Mingle because I refuse to bottom for him if he won’t bottom for me and he’ll throw the $9.99 bottle of Chardonnay I bought from Trader Joes against our dining room wall and weep silently into the mac and cheese I made him and I’d get up and try to wipe away his tears and he’ll slam his fists on the table and shout “NO this isn’t working” and I’ll say “shhhh baby just lemme put it in you” and he’ll leave me.
Synopsis: There was you. An ordinary human girl, wrong place, wrong time. Then there was Loki. God of Mischief, war criminal. When Thor brings you to Asgard to ensure your safety, there is nobody else you come to hate more passionately than his evil foster brother. Then Odin finally decides on a new and much more effective kind of punishment for Loki, causing your whole world to fall apart. He would simply marry him off to a mortal, someone who is, by all means, “beneath” him. You.
Pairing: Loki x Reader Rating: M Chapter: 1/1 (Oneshot) Words: 7217 Warnings: smut, forced marriage
I really hope @therealjacksepticeye realises how much I appreciate him for giving me like 2 minutes of his time yesterday. It means a lot. Bless him for being so patient and sweet. Meeting him and Wiishu made my week.
An incomplete list of things I appreciate about the Old Kingdom trilogy:
Casual matter-of-fact reference to menstruation
When guards, soldiers, community leaders, sea captains etc are mentioned in passing as side or background figures, they’re just as likely to be women as men, without any extra comment or explanation
I’m pretty sure there was just a Disney reference (in Sabriel ‘that’s what he did, it’s what he lived for’, in Little Mermaid ‘that’s what I do, it’s what I live for’—deliberate or not it’s cracking me up this morning)
He doesn’t spend a lot of time describing his female character’s bodies unless it’s practical mentions of hygiene or wounds
But also he doesn’t dance around the word ‘breasts’ when it’s the appropriate practical description of anatomy
Lirael has depression and suicidal ideation and is a badass heroine, Sammeth has PTSD but is still a badass hero, Nicholas the quintessential know-it-all white guy gets humbled and is the vulnerable character who needs rescuing
Mogget and the Disreputable Dog and their impatience with anything approaching YA drama tropes
The romantic elements that are so *mimes swoon* but also so subtle and also rational and drama free? I mean.
There’s even bits of domestic fluff in the middle freaking action adventure stories, I MEAN.
The political stuff in Lirael and Abhorsen is relevant, wow
Characters admitting that they’re afraid, including (especially) male characters