i-apologize-for-the-ugly

This may not be as collected as I’d like but I just woke up and I’m upset. Upset at what’s been sent to me and upset at the posts I’m seeing on my dash.

Honestly this whole [popular] “they’re both abusers and both survivors ☺️” dialogue is so fucking ugly. I’ve got like 5 Jasper apology messages that read so so eerily similar to Sansa rape apology and it’s just like, do you really think that was supposed to be our fucking takeaway of “just say yes”? Do you really think we were meant to place all blame for
Malachite on Lapis because “she didn’t *have* to do that!!”

Plus apparently Rebecca Sugar explained that Lapis fused *for revenge* and people aren’t taken four seconds to consider what that revenge is for? Why it is she might want that?

Like…Lapis sought revenge on Jasper in the way that whole “get revenge on your abuser” is often presented as the one path survivors can take. She lashed out because it’s how she felt she could reclaim power, but as a result, it hurt her. Because that’s kinda what perpetuating violence does. It hurt her and it haunted her and she decidedly rejected to engage in that dynamic again because she understood it was wrong and not what she needed to heal. What’s amazing is that the narrative didn’t pull any punches about how damaging Malachite was to both Lapis and Jasper, and the inherent emptiness of catharsis through violence.

Jasper otoh suffered, sure. No one’s claiming that how Lapis acted was somehow “justice” or any stupid revenge-worship concept like that. But it’s so damn telling that Jasper’s still viewing the fusion in the terms she is, about her and how powerful it made her feel. For a show that is not subtly teaching about consent we once a-fucking-gain get Jasper intimidating and doing everything she can to put Lapis in a situation she doesn’t want (“she said no! Leave her alone!”).

It’s not like “oh we shouldn’t have empathy for Jasper” because yeah, she’s in an unhealthy mindset, and it’s tragic how she experiences fusion in this way and her takeaway is still so violent. But this whole “they both did bad” dialogue is really just a way of excusing her and trying to be like “lapis is just as bad” or “we should feel just as sorry for Jasper” and no, sorry. That’s not something I can get behind. Not when Jasper has yet to show compassion for a single person.

It’s a false equivalency that absolutely tramples over the healing message for Lapis rejecting violence and revenge that has been situated in this painfully realistic dynamic of abuse victims lashing out because of a gross desire to keep Jasper in leather pants. I’m not for it.

I’m not saying as a viewer, I don’t want to see Jasper heal either. But we need to stop fucking expecting Lapis to play along and really need to stop dragging Lapis through the mud to make a point. I get it…the situation is nuanced. “They both fucked up” isn’t; it’s apology.