When people say Michael is ugly i just think BITCH ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME RIGHT NOW HE IS LIKE HOT AS HELL, LIKE A MAGICAL UNICORN VOMITED RAINBOW ON AN ANGEL’S HAIR THAT FELL ONTO EARTH WHO HAD A MISSION TO BE HOT
<b>Mom:</b> COME OUT OF YOUR ROOM GOD DAMN!<p><b>Me:</b> I AM READING SOMETHING, WAIT UNTIL I'M DONE!<p><b></b> *continues reading Phan smut and NaruSasu smut*<p><b></b> *mom walks in*<p><b>Mom:</b> what are you even reading????<p><b>Me:</b> ... an.... online book...<p><b>Mom:</b> Okay but help me later<p><b>*Me in my head:</b> ugh mom leave me alone, he's about to cum*<p><b>Me:</b> yeah yeah okay...<p>
Hogwarts!AU where Astrid is practicing a few spells and asks Jack to be her guinea pig for a charm she’s testing out. Said charm malfunctions horribly and Jack somehow ends up getting an orgasm every time someone sneezes.
It doesn’t help that Hiccup has a cold and successfully sneezes six times in a row during Potions.
this past year I have started saying “bro” a lot. it started out as a joke, however now it has become part of my daily vocab. it has gotten so bad that I have started saying it at work. now that would be all fine and dandy if I still worked at my old job at JCPenneys, however I am now employed as a full-time CNA at a nursing home where I told a 93 year old woman who was hitting me to “please chill out, bro”.