i-am-out-to-ruin-all-good-things

“There you are. Come on, man, what are you hiding out here for?”

“I’m not hiding. I’m just thinking things thought.”

“Not getting cold feet, I hope?”

“My feet are very warm, Tommy.”

“Good, otherwise I’d have to kick your ass.”

“Felicity would kick your ass if you ruin our wedding day.”

“Are you kidding? I’m more scared of your future mother-in-law than I am of that ray of sunshine you’re marrying.”

“Aren’t we all?”

“Speaking of, let’s get this show on the road. Go put a tie on, man, it’s your wedding day.”

i wonder what is it about me,
that people see,
and they say,
oh.

she just wants to have fun.
she’s just out here for a nice time.
she’s a girl to have, not a girl to keep.

i’m the girl you fuck with when you’re young.
the girl you like when everything is good.
i’m the girl you meet out in weekends when that hotline gets lonely.

i would like to be different.
i am different.

i am not the girl you think i am.
but i play the part because i know how.

the things is this:
i don’t know how to love somebody without ruining myself.

—  letters from drake’s ex; talking all them good things, that’s all i’m really good for

anonymous asked:

The Tower and Ruins + 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. :)

1:What inspired you to write the fic this way?

Uh. That’s a good question. I honestly don’t know. I never would’ve thought I’d write a Major Character Death(s) fic one day. I can’t remember if there was anything particular about the day I thougt of it, all I know is I was lying wide awake at 1 AM and had the entire thing in my head. Like someone reading an audio book out to me. Plus visuals. I think I actually cried when I realized where it was going. Maybe that can be felt while reading it - that melancholy, at times resigned and desperate.

2:What scene did you first put down?

Definitely started with the very first scene, I usually do that. I think I wrote the whole thing in less than two days. I could barely stop myself because it all came together so fast. I think I only stopped on the first day because I was getting too tired and my head started to hurt. I had written everything but the ending.

3:What’s your favorite line of narration?

“He laments at the sky and beats at the waves, and is met with nothing but the circling flow of the sea.“

4:What’s your favorite line of dialogue?

“That’s one strange name though. Is it short for something else?”

5:What part was hardest to write?

Oh man. Definitely the ending. I wrote it, and then listened to Beneath A Phrygian Sky and cried for like ten minutes at least. Writing this - the whole thing - was really intense. I put a lot of myself into the things I write. And I think this fic is the most merciless sad thing I’ve ever written (so far ;))

Thank you very much for your question :) I hope I’ve answered everything to your satisfaction.

The Tower And Ruins on AO3

anonymous asked:

How are you feeling?

I want to feel happy and excited. I really do. Season 2 is so close. But instead I feel left out and forgotten. I feel like all my friends are always having fun without me. They’re all part of a club that I don’t belong to. All having good times that I’m not invited to join in on. Not necessarily because they don’t want me there, but because I mean so little and am so easy to forget that no one even remembers I’m here. And that’s probably for the best, because if I ever were invited to join in on the fun I’m sure I’d just ruin things for everyone.

Thank you. *hugs*

anonymous asked:

mun question: who do you ship your character with (otp, brotp, crackship, etc) and who would you ship yourself with?

out of character; 

i stared at this for a very long time because i wasn’t entirely sure how to answer it, without sounding like a total shipping psycho, which i am. so behold, you will all bear witness to how much of a lunatic i am (if you weren’t already aware). 

otp;

olivia. i mean honestly this ship is such angsty goodness, and it was in most part spawned from luna & i’s irrevocable love for all things reylo, (shout out to tfa for ruining my life) but it’s great really, and it gives me lots of feels because it will definitely end badly for all parties involved but it hurts so good, so bye. and like olivia and adam are gonna be so co-dependant like omg, it’s gonna be so unhealthy. 

also, not gonna lie, but i really ship him with skylar. (in part because phoebe tonkin uggggghhhh)  like i love those two. their relationship is basically based on booze, which is fantastic, and it really doesn’t have the potential to go anywhere deep and meaningful, but it could definitely totally be strictly corporal, if y’know what i mean. they would totally use each other for their own selfish reasons and i’m 100% cool w it.

brotp;

ingrid, honestly fuck me uppppp!!!!! what can i say, adam totally begrudgingly puts up with ingrid, but she is growing on him, and she follows him around like A LOST PUPPY, and i really CAN’T EVEN. she reminds him of nick (his dead BFFL; rip homie)  in some ways, and that’s mainly why he lets her hang around; 100% for this

reiner; okay OKAY i know they haven’t interacted BUT i feel like these two are actually quite similar and have a lot of anger in them, so they have the potential for a  very totally 100% healthy relationship based on beating the shit out of each other (A LA FIGHT CLUB), and then just having a bottle of booze between the both of them afterward tbh (this is borderline crackship and i’m not even sorry)

mac; literally adam and mac are both some kind of military with daddy issues; they would totally get along swimmingly if they didn’t kick the shit out of each other first. 

crackship

javi; oh my GOD literally if adam wasn’t such a FUCKING asshole they could totally get along bc fuck they have the same music taste like they could totally just jam the fuck out to led zeppelin and new order and kill some zombiessss!!! and really the fact that he likes sopa de res um hell yes (that’s just me being me tho cause i’m mexican) 

abel; adam and abel can be dicks together and sit in the corner of a room, drunk as shit, and fuck with people for fun bc honestly i can picture that fucking happening idk he’d probably punch him in the face for being an ass to ingrid first tho idk i’m crazy don’t listen to me goodbye

who do i ship myself with? 

after this mess of a post, are you even honestly surprised when i say everyone. you’re all amazing and i love you all. and anyone tagged in this post please ignore that this ever happened it was word vomit bye 

@liketoyzombies | @hxllowxsoul | @goodgirlsdontsurvive | @rciner | @mac-slater | @traderjavi | @abelramirez 

so I failed all of my subjects

same thing happened this time last year. I had panic attacks, seriously suicidal thoughts and severe depression over it. I was in a place I didn’t want to be. I believed I was stupid and sick etc. My mom told me I ruined my life, told me I am lazy, that I am faking it, that I am creating problems out of a good life etc.

a year later it happened again, but our feelings and reactions are completely different, which is a testament to how much we’ve grown. it was an unpleasant shock, of course, but I know now that this university and these subjects just aren’t doing it for me. It may be the best place to study in the country but it’s clearly not working for me. I know I am intelligent, ambitious, ridiculously creative. I know my strengths and weaknesses. I know whom to ask for advice and how to practically solve my problems without beating myself up. My mom was surprised as well, but she has seen how much I did this year and how much I’ve tried and she completely trusts that I will figure it all out.

In Lithuania we have this saying: “nėra to blogo kas neišeitų į gerą” which roughly translates as “there is no bad that cannot turn out to be good”, basically meaning that the things that seem the worst thing may actually benefit us more than we know at the present, that we can turn a mistake into an opportunity to make a positive change etc.

it’s all cool really

part of me wants to replay Undertale to do the whole “let’s murder everyone” thing just to see how the story plays out that way but like i am 1000% certain that would be an absolutely painful + horrifying experience and i’m not sure i’d actually be able to do that lmao

2/5:  Back in Florence!

Okay, so for those of you who follow my general blog @nerdlove4thewin, you may have noticed how tired I was when I was reblogging things on tumblr yesterday.  Well, now I’m going to tell the whole story as to why that was the case!

So first of all, we had to get up at 8 am to be packed and all ready to leave the hotel at 9 am.  We first took a tour of Syracuse (called Siracusa in Italian), which took about an hour or two.  I hadn’t been getting good sleep anyway and the guide was talking WAY too fast in Italian, so I was zoning out through the whole thing.  But it was still interesting to see all of the churches and ruins there!  Interesting fun fact:  my great-great grandfather immigrated from there to the U.S. many years ago :). So basically, it was like I was visiting my ancestors!  How cool is that?  Then, we got some coffee and sweets and some of us danced to an accordian player’s music in the main piazza, which was really entertaining.  Then we went to see a town that was built in the Barrocco period, and then we drove an hour or so to see two ancient theaters– and they both had an amazing view! 

By the time all of this was done, it was only 3 pm.  Our flight was scheduled to leave at 10 pm (UGH).  So then we had lunch and took a half hour to walk around the town.  And then we got poured on.  Oh my god, I was so miserable and wet when we finally found the bus!  It took us another hour and a half to get to the airport and by the time we got there, we were four hours early for the flight.  I did take a nap on one of the long bus rides, but obviously that wasn’t enough.  So I did some writing (*ahem* a FitzSimmons drabble, to be specific) and played some cards with the other girls while we waited.  And finally, we boarded the plane.  By this time, we were all practically delirious, and it was actually pretty hilarious.  Once we landed, we took a cab home and we didn’t get back to our houses until midnight.  And then I proceeded to stay up an extra 3 hours to laugh at stupid things on tumblr lol.  And then I slept until noon, which felt really, really good.

Also, I’ve realized that the week away has improved my Italian even more.  I almost always understand my host mom now and I find myself talking more at ease with her in Italian.  I still make mistakes and I still don’t know a lot of words, but learning a new language is a slow process and I’ve learned to accept that.  Other than that, I pretty much just spent the whole day today in my room lol.  I bundled up in my sweats and enjoyed the wifi that I was missing most of the time while I was away.  I do like going out and about, yes, but this is the first time in a week that I was finally by myself (we shared rooms in the hotels) so I made the most of it by being super lazy!  So that was all really nice :)

I’m going to Venice tomorrow with the other girls, then I’m spending Sunday running errands, and then I start my classes on Monday.  So technically my “vacation” time is almost over. ACK.  I can’t believe I’ve already been in Florence for three weeks.  I really do love it here!  I’ll post again after I go to Venice, so until then…Buona notte! <3

i feel si ck

i have a class w my abuser and i feel so isolated in that class bc my other friends make it v well known that shes more welcome there than i am.they invite her out places and show each other things and completely ignore me i mean some of them try to involve me and talk to me but its probably out of pity,,

and my abuser today asks them if she did something would that make her a bad person,,, like she thinks shes a good person. after ruining so much of my life and being the cause for a lot of disorders. she still thinks shes a good person and is wonderful and deserves all the love in the world and i m just so disg usted im  so dis gusted and i gfeel s ick

You know not opening up to me breaks me apart inside out knowing how bad you feel I just wanna take all your pain and have it all in me I want you to show me your truth about you that’s why I cry sometimes thinking about what I did to ruin some thing I wished for I thought am I ugly or am I fat so I just sat there and cried wondering why…. Why do u not like me.. Why I’m a good guy . most of all why can’t u trust me talking to you make me think of the quotes I write the happiness I wanna have the joy u bring and the big smile on my face u give me when u say hi I like u and really I love u but why just why in all my heart why wont u open up to a guy thats different from most guys and tell me what’s wrong ……..

I am so sick of people texting me all these childish ass things. Like grow the hell up sweetheart. I have a good head on my shoulders and I’m not gonna let anyone ruin that. I have a job, going to college, and I have a car. I don’t need drama or someone pressurring me to move out with them. I’m not gonna stress every week about bills and live from dollar to dollar. I’m gonna end up changing my number and dropping everyone to start over. To have a fresh beginning and finally settle down. I can’t wait. I’m gonna have the life I wasn’t able to have as a child. ❤

Seriously I can’t even handle myself right now. Drinking just surfaces all the bad things in my head and makes me feel like complete shit. But it feels good to actually be so drunk and forget about it for just a little bit. Then it comes crashing down hard. So hard to the point I don’t even know who I am. I get everyone goes through stuff through out life. I’m not saying I’m more worse off than anyone. From the age of 17 my life just went down a downward spiral. That incident that happened has ruined me forever. And I think I’m doing fine but then it hits me and the sever depression sets in and my head is completely fucked. I don’t know how to be me cos I don’t know who I am anymore.

anonymous asked:

What manga were pics 7/8 from? It's so true I absolutely hate love triangles, they make NO SENSE. They basically happen in every single romance manga. I let out a huge sigh and am like oh H E double you know what- No!!

Ahh that’s Watashi ga Motete Dousunda (Kiss him, not me). The author tends to write bl/yaoi stories but that manga is a straight reverse harem type thing. Really funny and good! The Female MC’s really obsessed with BL. Not all that much romance in that story actually but it’s pretty funny :)

Ahaha I don’t necessarily hate love triangles but they can definitely be annoying. Sometimes I find they even ruin the story a bit for me but yeah most of all just completely unrealistic.  It seems to be the main conflict used in most shoujo mangas which is rather tiresome.