I can’t stop thinking about you. I know I hurt myself whilst doing this and I should probably quit but I can’t, it’s the only way to keep you with me, my love, I just can’t lose you. I keep listening to the songs that make me think of you and cry myself to sleep. I look at pictures of that one night when everything was so perfect and it makes me sick to my stomach knowing I’ll probably never be with you again. Sometimes I see someone that has the same nose or the same lips as you and it makes my heart sink to my chest because you’re no where near. I thought this was gonna be just a silly crush, I thought I had everything under control but lately I’ve been scratching my wrists again and my mom is worried that things will go downhill again (goddamn, I am worried too). I keep seeing you in my dreams and they mostly start off so nice and warm, but somehow i always end up yelling your name and crying like a fool. My god, I miss you.
— My love, I wish you were mine