i was feeling pretty crappy today

there’s this 90 y/o ww2 vet customer that comes in for cheap vodka every week. he always makes these crude jokes and asks for a senior citizen discount. needless to say, I don’t like him.

today, I learned that he feels a tremendous amount of guilt over the slaughtered lives he contributed to and over his daughter with a pretty crappy, albeit common personality disorder that he very soon do nothing about.

I respect him a little more, I suppose. doesn’t negate his crass personality, but it was such an important reminder not to judge too harshly on other people. most people only get a glimpse of other people’s inner lives, and it’s usually a glimpse they want you to see.

today was pretty crappy

I’m feeling motivated to make my week better, but just … sundays never go very right for me.

my friend is the best friend bc we were going to split the con reading for tomorrow like we usually do but i’m still feeling pretty crappy and she knows i haven’t started the reading yet, so she offered to do all of it so i can keep resting and get better.

Day 315: “Incredible change happens when you decide to take control of what you do have power over.” – Steve Maraboli

26th April, 2015

Dear Taylor,

Today wasn’t a very interesting day, so this letter isn’t going to be too long. But for once, it wasn’t a lazy day! I’ve been having a lot of those lately, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, where I just kind of hang out all day and do absolutely nothing outside of going on Tumblr and watching Gilmore Girls. While they’re nice days to have once in a while, it was making me feel pretty crappy about myself, because I just knew I was being so unproductive, but couldn’t find the motivation to get out and do the things I needed to do. So today I decided to take control of my attitude, and change that! I made a to-do list of everything that I needed done today, and everything that I need done during this coming week which I can then delegate to certain days. And it just felt so good to feel like I was doing something! They weren’t huge life-changing tasks, which is why this letter won’t be very long or riveting haha, more like cleaning my room, replying to that email from weeks ago, all that sort of thing. But I’m hoping with this change in attitude, comes a change in lifestyle, and ultimately, a change in my mood.

I hope you’re having a wonderful day today!

Thank you for being a part of my life every day!

Forever and always,

Abbey xoxo


anonymous asked:

What happened with your family ? Today, I feel pretty crappy...

I’m sorry but I don’t want to post the answer. There are some shitty things going on I don’t want everybody to know. Do you want to talk?


I feel crappy today. I always seem to find myself alone, no one asks me to go anywhere with them, no one invites me anywhere. I’m the unwanted one of the group, I’m the one who isn’t as smart, isn’t as funny, isn’t as pretty. But I’m also the one who has another life away from that, I have a life where I’m happy, and I actually find myself laughing and smiling. That’s because of him. Some may say ‘you’ll never be happy on your own, you have to rely on a boy’. Who the fuck cares if a boy makes me happy? Just like food makes me happy, happiness is different for everyone. For some people happiness is cars, animals, houses, money, friends, food, family and for some people happiness is a boy, it’s knowing that you have someone who’s there’s for you. And i love him. An awful lot

Sorry guys I’m going to head to bed for the evening. It’s 2:30 in the morning and I have a long day a head of me. Hopefully I won’t have any troubles with what I am doing later on today. But I have a feeling that yesterday’s mood is going to move to today as well. My cousin lost her baby and she was due in July. I wanted to tell her that she could talk to me because I’ve been there… sadly twice. Once when I was 20 years old and once not that long ago… well a year ago when I was 25. So… yeah… My mood has been pretty crappy. I just hope that my cousin is alright. Please send in request for one shots. I also love doing series as well if you couldn’t tell by the two series that I have Devil’s Daughter in Love and Creep Out. Also please send in characters for the 100 Kinks that I have and please also send in your favorite kinks plus a character from the fandoms that I write for. Anyways I’m gonna get off of here and get some sleep or try to. The writing helps me keep my mind off of things like this. Does that make me cold hearted? I hope not… But any way guys send them in please. 

To all those who were part of the chat during the livestream concert.

I love you all so much you guys were the sweetest. We were too hyped and all we said pretty much was FUCK ME UP but honestly I feel so much more welcomed into the iVIP community. I’m going to follow the rest of you guys tomorrow so just you wait! SHIT ABOUT TO GET TURNT.
(and also sorry again for the crappy translating, everything was so off but it was all my shitty ears could do.)

Birthday update

Unfortunately, I feel pretty exhausted right now (I blame the crappy weather) so I’m not really up for a liveblog/Cards Against Humanity tonight. But I think tomorrow night would be great!

Again, thank you so, so much to everyone who’s sent me nice messages today. They’re very appreciated!

Feeling tired and sad.. but hey i look pretty cute today so that’s something.

So anyway off to work and 3 hours of walking.. yay..

Why do I feel sad and emotional??
I smashed my qualifier today
5 rft
5 deadlifts @60kg
10 bar facing over bar burpees
4:09 which is super fast for me bc I am pretttty slow at burpees
But then this other girl was being really competitive with me and taking the piss when I wouldn’t tell her my time and saying I was being competitive when she was the one who asked me what I got.
And then this other girl I train with I’m pretty sure she hates me and ugh just a crappy day even though I did better than I thought
But you know when people you’re close to are off with you and it just really throws you and puts you in a bad mood? 😕
Focussing on the positives isn’t going so well..

i have an appointment today and my therapist is bent on thinking i have add/adhd

haha no i just have severe depression/anxiety dude

however i love my psychiatrist for not promptly shoving addy at me when i relayed my therapist’s theory and instead is treating for depression/anxiety

i’m actually excited to see my psychiatrist again and i think i might need to go from 10mg of lexapro up to probably MAYBE 20mg because i still feel pretty crappy overall

we’ll see


It may be just that time of the year, but I feel pretty crappy. It’s not just the fact I’m always sick, but it just seems like life is so much of a struggle.

I try to stay so positive and happy all the time. Sometimes it just wears me down. Today is one of those days. I don’t feel like I have accomplished much of anything while being at college. I feel like it was a waste of my time. I wish I could have just focused on the actual classes and studies that mattered. Yet I was stuck dealing with a bunch of general education classes that just got in the way. Not to mention my school made us attend chapel and take certain biblical courses. I know I’m a Christian, but I don’t have time to focus my study time on your class when it’s barely even more that just your biased opinion being forced down my throat.

I wanted to grow my craft and develop my style. If I had been able to practice every day like I wanted, and worked on my music all the time I would have been a lot happier and a lot more prepared for the real world. However, I don’t feel like I am completely prepared. I will now start to have that time, but now I need to find a way to do all of that and support myself. It doesn’t seem like their is ever a break in life. I know I will bounce back, but for now I just really need some feedback or just encouragement. My life isn’t all that bad, I just can’t help but feel down and defeated.

thelightningstrikez replied to your post: thelightningstrikez asked:You kno…

NO UR AWESOME LIKE EVEN WITH YOUR FLAWS YOU’RE STILL AWESOME??????? Don’t let negative shit kill your vibe man

It pretty much already crushed my vibe, at least for today :./ I’m a mess of regret and stress and sadness all bottled up into one rn. I got home just now and I can’t recall a time where I felt this crappy and emotionally unstable..But even so.. thank you for being so kind to me, Deb <3

So yesterday I relapsed into a bad place and felt pretty crappy for a while, however today I already feel way better. Hopefully this is a sign I’ll finally be able to move on with my life and not have to think about them and end up bringing myself down with depressing thoughts anymore. For good measure I’ve blocked their profile so hopefully it’ll make it easier for me.

On a good feels note, I still haven’t had a chance to wear any of my lolita clothes out for the first time yet since I’m kinda nervous and I’m absolutely dieing to. So I’m thinking of decking myself out in a pretty dress sometime soon and taking a trip into London and visiting a gallery and museum maybe!

Day 8 (?) - Post 7

The past few days have been difficult so I haven’t been able to post. My great uncle died and it has been hard. His funeral was today. I had a bit of junk food as that’s all there was to eat and I’m already feeling pretty crappy from it all! Goes to show how eating well really effects so many different aspects of your day and life. Yesterday was my first day at my new big girl job! Woo! Tomorrow will be day 2 as I was at the funeral today. They’re even giving me bereavement pay, so kind hearted. I’m about 40 minutes away from home so I will be showering, making my lunch, then going right to sleep! I’m getting back to the gym tomorrow after a 2 day hiatus so I’m pretty pumped about that too!! Blessed and thankful every day. xo Paige

thelastfirsttime asked:

Hey, you have Crohn's disease? I was diagnosed in high school but I've never really had anyone to talk to about it. I know this might be super creepy but I'd love to compare notes sometime

hey, yeah! I was diagnosed in 2012 when I was 20, so a little late to the game. It’s been in remission for a few months now, which is why I was pretty surprised to feel so crappy tonight, but that’s what bran will do to ya, lol! 

btw, not creepy. Tumblr was a big source of support for me when I was first diagnosed, because I felt like I was in way over my head. I have no shame so compare away! :) 

I hope you don’t mind that I answered this publicly. You never know who might see this and say, “Oh, they have Crohn’s too??” :)

ETA: I had coffee today too! ooooops