i was feeling pretty crappy today

Acting Improvement: 2015 vs 2013
  • Acting Improvement: 2015 vs 2013
  • Doctor Laser
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So I wanted to go over some lines I did a long time ago, for the sake of seeing how I’ve improved since then.

  • The higher-quality lines were done today (February 15th, 2015), and I was able to get the lines down in the first two takes for each.
  • The lower-quality lines were done on January 20th-21st, 2013. I don’t know how long they took but I remember taking several takes.

This is essentially a demonstration of the fact that, like any other art form, acting is something you get better by doing!

It took two years of practicing, taking acting classes, going to workshops, going to contests, auditions, goofing around, and goofing around with friends (and better equipment) to get from those old, crappy takes to the level I am today.

If you ever feel discouraged about your acting skills, or if you’re starting out, know that pretty much every actor (even and especially professionals) has been in your shoes. Nearly every professional actor you hear has been a rookie actor at some point — including myself.

Don’t worry about being “bad” at acting, whether your voice doesn’t have as rich a texture as others! So long as you are doing something, you are not failing. That audition you submitted but didn’t get into? You still did something. That is practice! That’s one step you took on the way to getting even better at your craft!

Like any art form, every moment you spend acting is a part of your expression. It can be really rough when people tell you you’re bad at acting, or that you should drop it. I want to tell you that, if you honestly, truly want to make acting a career, start acting! Every moment you spend acting is another piece of success. You improve a little more every time you practice your craft, and I can guarantee you will discover great things about your voice along the way.

Of course, I’m not nearly finished improving myself as an actor — I still have a long way to go before I can even call myself a professional! I just want you to know that you can do it, and I believe in you!

Midweek woes.

I am still sick, and it sucks that I have to go to work. It’s torture, sitting on my chair, doing my job when I’m feeling so crappy. Stupid cold go away. Most of the people at work were sick last week, it’s probably how I ended up sick. I don’t know how it’s even possible when I wash my hands every five minutes.

It’s not a happy day at work today. Our team has been off when it comes to our stats. I am doing my best to be the best. My team mates are also working extra to get our stats up. It’s pretty depressing. But oh well. There’s no way to go but up.

I am loving the fact that my husband is no longer working nights. Super big deal.

Anyway… Going to do a Rules of Engagement marathon. I should feel better soon.

i felt really terrible about not posting today’s doodles for vday, so here’s my excuse reason why i’ve been pretty inactive

i’m teaching myself digital art! it’s in the crappy doodle stage rn, but i’m gonna keep at it until i feel less bad about it.

i’ll definitely post my vday watercolors laters, though! so

Staying Home
Admin: Crowley
Imagine: Hello! I’m feeling pretty crappy about my Chronic Fatigue Syndrome today, so I got the idea of requesting a fic from you on that theme. Being tired and physically weak all the time makes me feel useless and depressed so maybe that could be what Reader struggles with. And maybe Sam could love her despite her being stuck in the bunker all the time, and when he confesses that, fluff would ensue? My favourites are the ones where Sam is nervous about loving the Reader but it all works out in the end!

I really really hope this is good anon! I can’t even imagine what CFS must be like so I did do as much research as I could and I honestly hope I did it at least some justice. The admins are here if you need us really! Word Count: 1649 

Slang: (Y/F/M= Your Favourite Movie.) (Y/2/F/M= Your Second Favourite Movie.) (Y/F/S= Your Favourite Snacks.) (Y/F/D= Your Favourite Drink.) Warnings: Swearing, self hate, fluff, cuteness, CFS and its effects? That’s probably it I think?

Your name: submit What is this?

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You stared at the book resting in your lap, sadness and disgust washing over you as you heard the boys trudging out the door. This was the 3rd hunt that week that you’d had to turn them down and stay at home alone.
I don’t want to have to stay home.
But I can’t leave either, I need another resting day.

“Stay safe!” The last words you heard from Dean as the door slammed behind the pair of them, the quietness finally settling through the bunker.
What’s on the agenda today then…?
You thought to yourself, pain rippling through every limb as you began sliding your feet off the bed and limping over to the couch in the livingroom.
Ugh kill me Lord.

Keep reading

So today I came home to a REALLY large package stuffed into my mailbox (I kid you not, it filled the damned thing), and turned out it was a surprise giftie from starofcephei! Which on top of being awesome in general was also awesome specifically because I was kind of having a pretty ‘blergh’ day today and feeling a bit neglected, and getting surprises in the mail always makes me feel loved! :D

LOOK AT ALL THIS STUFF:

OMG SO MUCH AND ALL FOR ME! Jen, you are an amazing and wonderful human being, and while I am not entirely sure what I could have possibly done to deserve having you in my life, I’m totally okay with it! <3 <3 <3

AND THERE WAS SPARKLY ART TOO (please excuse the crappy phone-photos they DO NOT do the art justice and your colouring is great so SHUSH)!

Taryn! And Melodi!

And aaaaah Mahdis SPARKLES I love it! *____* These are going on the wall as soon as I figure out how to do that without the art getting mauled by my cats… ^^;

I have no idea how I can ever make this up to you, Jen, but I figure maybe a life-sized Cullen doll? Somehow…? :3

I HAVE THE BEST FRIENDS IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD!

Today has suddenly turned into this amazing day?! This past whole month has been pretty crappy and I still have a lot of reasons to be unhappy but I have just decided to ignore them. There are going to be a lot of things you want, that you can’t have, and a lot of things you can’t change, accept it, move on, let yourself be fucking happy, you deserve it.

Quick Update

With the lack of attention Girls’ Generation is getting on my blog, I really want to do a one-shot with SNSD and Sailor Moon crossover. The idea is nagging at me. Taeyeon could definitely be Serena, since she is a total goofball (or meatball head) but is still the strong leader when needed. And of course, Hyoyeon would be kick-ass Jupiter with all that thunder power.

Anyway, a while back I mentioned writing a Jaejoong+OC+Junsu threesome. I finished it today (whew!), but I will edit it and upload it at some point later. It’s pretty long, about four thousand words, but I won’t be splitting it into parts like the last threesome. Just giving you something to look forward to.

Recently, I hit a followers milestone and I just wanted to say thank you so much to those who like my babbling enough to follow my blog! I know I had to close anon and requests, which I feel crappy about, but I still plan on completing the pending scenarios on my list and writing lots of different scenarios and drabbles in the future. Fighting!! :)

—Eating a whole bar of dark chocolate..because it fits my macros. In reality, I’ve not been eating the “healthiest” (aka hitting a lot of carbs from cookie butter and candy) because my mind has been in the wrong place lately and I want to remind myself I can eat the dang candy bar and be okay.

—Been feeling really sick after I eat for some reason lately

—Also on eating really cruddily… I’ve been hitting macros, but it HAS been from some pretty “crappy” food. Another problem of this has been related to my terrible food prepping skills lately.

—I’ve also been feeling like I’m dragging academically. I have just been exhausted and worn down, and unmotivated this week. I’m trying I get my act together today, but dang. It’s hard.

—I am exhausted and ready for break.
———————
Plan:

-Stay up late tonight (I got an hour nap in..I’ll be fine…kind of), and prep food
-Study even longer tonight, and study for a long time tomorrow (basically I need to play catch up in the next 2 days because I’m gone all weekend)
-Start grocery list/menu plan for next week’s food. I’m going to be prepared and not be stuck at school hungry this time.
-Really take a look at my commitments and nail down what’s hindering and what’s helping me.

-Put my foot down and start studying with a more systematic approach
-Finish emailing advisors, draw up a list of q’s I have regarding my chosen major path

-Get more cookie butter.
-Get more sleep …next week

I felt bad when I cheated on my diet last night. But it was just one meal. I felt crappy after from such a heavy meal but I woke up today leaner than I have been and feeling a lot better and not run down.

I guess with keeping up my heavy routine I earned that meal.

Down 8 pounds in 2 weeks. Pretty good progress and I’m proud of that number.

youtube

This is just something that happened to me today. I had to get my testosterone prescription from a “women’s clinic.” I was feeling pretty crappy but talking it out through a video helps. Check it out. Thanks :)

Day 1. Got back from work in such a good mood that I want to write about it. I don’t know what it is specifically, but I’ve always wanted to do the #100happydays challenge, and today seems like the perfect day to start it. Also a pretty crappy picture, but I’ve finally got my appetite back and that’s a sure sign if anything that I’m in a better place. Not been the most productive day essaywise, but I spent time with some of my favourite people and I made it to my 9am lecture (!!!) and I’m just feeling HAPPY, a lot happier than last week anyway. And my flatmates had cooked me dinner and I’m in my onesie and we’re all in Chris’s room working and everything is feeling a lot lighter.

so i’m 100% sure y’all don’t want to hear me whining anymore (i do not blame you at all- i whine a lot)

is there anyone who would like to hear this shit instead

because i have some non-pretty words i’d like to share that would include too many triggers to tag (no i’m not insulting people)

idk today i’m feeling crappy and i don’t want to lose anymore followers but i have a life and life is not being kind right now and i just can’t with this shit

It’s funny how the kind words of a stranger can lift your spirits, and validate that you are actually doing a good job, and the effort you put in to put on that front even when you’re feeling down, is worth it.

Today at work, I knew it would suck even before I got there. I knew someone was sick coz a friend told me she had been asked to work but she couldn’t coz Saturday mornings aren’t in her availability. So when I get in, we’re pretty much down a person for a good part of the morning. Luckily it wasn’t overly busy (I’m gonna blame the crappy weather) so we managed. Just, but we did.

Plus who wants to be at work on a Saturday morning? We were all over it before midday. So it gets towards the end of my shift, sometime a little after midday (I was on 9-1) and I serve this gentleman. He would maybe be… I don’t know, in his late 40’s/early 50’s maybe? And has quite a few tattoos. So I call out the next number, and it was this gentleman. He asks for a couple things, and I get them and weigh them and wrap them and all. Then he asks for something else, so we head down to the other end of the deli, and I do the same again, get, weigh, wrap. I hand this to him and I ask if there was anything else. He said no, there wasn’t.

Then he said to me before he walked off, “By the way, you always have excellent customer service,” with a warming grin. I don’t think I’ve ever smiled so much at work. I must have served him in the past a few times, or he’s come in when I’ve been on shift. I can’t be too sure honestly. Either way he’s noticed me and made such a simple compliment, but it truly made my day. Because sometimes at work, and I’m not the only one, we feel unappreciated (this is moreso coming from management, but some customers are unappreciative too) for the work and effort we put into every little aspect of our job. And working in a deli is quite tough. We have to know so much, know how to do quite a bit. We need to know what items are gluten free, and if we don’t, we need to know where to look on the packaging for that information. We need to know how long every item has once opened. The list goes on and on and on. Some of it is company policy, and some of it is health and safety that’s set out in legislation too. It’s honestly not as simple as slicing meats.

So to hear such a simple compliment from a stranger, it just made me feel good about my job for once, and validated why I do make an effort.

Bowen Therapy and Tattoo Booking Done!

Went to my first Bowen Therapy today. I was pretty stressed, angry and in pain (my teeth) after tafe today. So I wasn’t looking forward to going. When I got there, she was really nice and same with the place. So I didn’t feel so crappy about going. Apparently my hips don’t aline at the moment. You hips are apparently also “connected” to your jaw. So that must be why I went from tensing my glutes to my jaw. My hamstrings are also very tight which then effect my lower back. That explains why thats where the tensing and pain comes from when I’m stressed. My shoulders were also very tight (I guess that’s why I guess for trying to “carry” to much). It definantly did something. My jaw felt a lot more relaxed and alined different after (hopefully it lasts awhile). Apparently my hips are a lot better and should be alined after one more go (although there I can’t notice anything). My muscles feel sore now to. So I’ve got some spray on magnesium. I wonder if this will help long term?

I also went in for my consult for my tattoo. Its all booked for next Sunday. Although I seem to like the atmosphere and customer service at the other tattoo place I went last. I’m sure they can’t stuff something up as simple as a Aquarius water sign though. Its a bit more expensive than the other place but I also like their artwork more, so I guess it will be worth it. I’m probably just being sociably awkward.

Well today I woke up with some crappy thoughts.

I wonder if I’ll meet a decent guy one day. I just don’t want to go through another failed relationship. I feel sad about the fact that at one point in my life I thought I’d met the one for me, we both had decent jobs and lived in a nice house and had a couple of cats, things were really good and felt pretty solid. I wouldn’t have thought things would take a bad turn and we’d end up just being strangers to each other one day. I’m not saying I want to go back to that relationship, I just miss that feeling of belonging. I think a part of me is scared that I might not ever have a good relationship with anyone or that I’m not worth being loved by a good person.

hi hi I’m alive,  I know I haven’t been on in like two weeks but as you all know I’ve been really ill, had the worst flare I’ve ever had in eight years of having these illnesses. It’s only the last few days I’ve been well enough to be out of bed for a few hours. I had a steroid injection at the hospital so that has caused some side effects so I’ve been feeling pretty crappy these past few days in  a flu kind of way too, on top of everything. I’m improving slightly but I have mock exams next week and I’ve only started studying today so yeah… screwed. I’ll try to be on more but right now, my health and studies are most important


and I’ll be watching tvd after I finish studying ahh

I dressed to represent Megstiel today, and it felt so good! I wore a red long-sleeve shirt under a black polo with jeans, painted my nails shiny dark red, and wore my Castiel trenchcoat hairbow from tessanetting's Etsy shop GeekWithMe. Pretty good day.

Today was pretty crappy. I had no one to talk to today. I probably could’ve texted more than my 1 friend, but I always feel like a bother. My 1 friend I texted never responded which again made me feel like I was just being a bother. On top of that the CSGO west coast servers were under a heavy load of traffic so it took forever to que a match as well as a very high ping causing a lot of lag spikes.

I have to work tomorrow and my mom and sister come back from Catalina island… I wish they’d stay, it was nice not having to deal with them for 3 days.

Crappy Day.

So today’s been completely crap. Not in events, but in emotions. 

I have felt so crap all day it has been horrible. My emotional state has been so low it’s unreal. I tried to keep it together all day, I managed to do so at school, looking happy and all as you do, making sure no one worries about you. 

I’m pretty much sick of this depression. It pisses me off, I can no longer feel freaking happy for a large amount of time like some people can and I just want to feel genuinely happy! I mean, my tablets helps, but not enough to satisfy me. 

I just feel numb, no emotions sometimes, just numbness. I want to cry, but nothing comes out, I want to feel something, but it doesn’t happen and UGH. 

Sorry, I’m just feeling shitty and I can’t really tell people. I don’t like looking weak in front of others, not even my parents.