i want to go to this party

My life is okay but I love/hate the holiday season because there are so many parties and snow and it’s cold and I just want someone to go with me to these dumb christmas parties and hold my hand and give me somewhere quiet to be in groups of loud people and to look at across the room you know? It’s such a dumb thing to complain about. So dumb. And it’s not like I am unimportant, lots of people like and stuff, but I’m never anyone’s first thought. I’m not their first pick. I’m attractive but no one gives a shit about what I’m scared of or how I take my coffee or wants to shop for books with me. People cancel plans and I’m used to being disappointed by men at this point. Even the best ones. Everyone will let you down and I have to wonder if I was less myself, maybe I’d get farther. 
It’s a feeling that I’m growing farther and farther from. And I’m getting to the point where that kind of feeling is something that I’m not even prioritizing and looking for anymore. And it is such a dumb thing to complain about because lots of things are good. But in the end I’m still 15 and everyone’s best friend but nobody’s girl. Amazing, insignificant, and invisible. 

Rin Imagine #1

Imagine meeting Rin and Sosuke at a party your friend dragged you to.

You didn’t have much desire to be at the party, but your friend had begged and pleaded. So you had given in. It wasn’t all bad. The music was good and there was a smile on your face. Your friend was jumping up and down, looking for some boy.

“I thought you said he was tall,” you said, watching her.

“He is. Like freakishly. But there are other tall people and what if they’re… there he is!” she said. She tried to gesture without pointing. Your friend had been looking for this guy ever since the last party she had gone to. You looked. You could see why your friend had wanted to see him again, he was handsome. But your eyes were drawn to a red head that stood next to him. 

“Let’s go talk to them,” you said, nudging her forward.

“Talk to them?” she squeaked. 

“Yes. Let’s go,” you said, dragging her. You didn’t know what she was scared of, she hit it off with the tall guy quickly. You learned his name was Sosuke before he took off with her.

“I’m Rin,” the red head said.

“I’m y/n,” you said. He grinned, showing off shark like teeth. You smiled. This party was looking better and better.


Why is it that I am always waiting for someone to tell me that I am valuable. Why do I put my value in someone else’s hands ? And why do I equate the number of interactions / likes I have in a day to whether or not I am loved?
I ran away from people because I know they won’t stick around. But when I really like you and you don’t respond the same way I feel worthless. And it’s the self pity party all over again. I have no squad goals.
No friendship goals. I always need validation from everyone because I never got it from the most important person in my life. I feel stuck. I wanna be me, but I wanna be someone else.
Why is it that I am never enough? That nobody wants to know how I am? Or ask me to go out ? Why do I have to beg it seems for friendship?
Why do I have to have 500 Friends ? Why can’t we be just two and party like nobody is watching?
Why ?
I know why it’s because we want to be surrounded by all these people to drown out the noise of our own thoughts and insecurities. But me, I am not like that. And Fuck you. I am tired.
I am not happy, I haven’t been for a long time.
I crave for interaction but I am scared of people liking / disliking me. Why am I a contradiction?
Phew, writing does help indeed. I have discovered that my work is not done. I still have issues with my self esteem. I still struggle to like myself. But I am not a lost cause.
I will and I can be happy.

I just need to keep searching. Keep digging.
And never give up.
I need to upgrade, I don’t need to change.
Life is about evolving, not comparing yourself to others.
And especially I need to get off that fucking Facebook and hope for likes and comments.


adismulofonfabre  asked:


send me a url and i’ll answer the following;; | @the-booty-of-gardios/@thathipsteremperor {Not Accepting}

Opinion on;

Character in general: Okay there is no around about way to show how much I love both Guy and Peony. Probably too much. I just freaking love them.
How they play them: Oh man, I love Lea’s Guy and Peony? Like anyone can fite me on this but after seeing them around the fandom for so long, they have almost become my go-to Guy and Peony. Also the banter. Party at Gailardia’s house—
The Mun: Lea was the first person in the Tales fandom generally that made me feel included with all the banter like from the day I joined and I love them for that. They’re also super nice and basically needs to be protected from the world—

Do I:

RP with them: Kinda
Want to RP with them: Hell yes—-

What is my;

Overall Opinion:

Keep reading

self-identifying introverts: Oh my God sometimes I’m invited to a party but…. I don’t wanna go to the party? Oh man why do people expect me to leave my Idealized Blanket Book Warm Drink Cocoon for anything? Life is so hard I had to turn down an invitation for my own comfort. 

me: anyways i am literally suffocating and feel worthless because people dont want to hang out with me but go off i guess.  

I’m on day six of working six long shifts in a row, and I can’t wait for Friday and Saturday (which I have off). Needless to say, I haven’t had any time for much else but work lately. I haven’t worked on fic for a week and I have a bunch of house chores to do. I’m hoping to go Christmas shopping tomorrow and I’m going to a party on Saturday, so I’ll be keeping busy then too. 

Not sure when I can work on fic, but I’ll keep. Even though I don’t have the time I’m itching to get back to my stories. I want to keep revising WDYTYA chapter 3, and then there’s chapter 2 of Rekindling Paradise to begin. 

But this time of year is always super busy for me, so not having time to write is nothing new. 

I’ll keep at it though!

damndirtydolls  asked:

Okay so my friend the one I go out drinking/partying with, one of her friends who I've spoken to a couple of times has just messaged me asking if I want to go out for a drink with him when he's back from uni 😂🙈

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh. That’s quite random , or is it ?

artifactious  asked:

"I suppose," Steven says, (with enough tact to sound diplomatic), "everyone ascribes a different value to this time of year." And that could well be the truth. She might not see the point in Christmas... but there's a chance she isn't going to be spending it at home simply because she wants to. "You know, my father is hosting a party for the occasion. Valued colleagues are welcome to attend."

{{-☂-}} “Oh? Thank you sir.”

She can’t really help but look down at her feet awkwardly. This is mostly due to the fact that she’s hardly ever invited anywhere, much less to a Christmas party. Inside, a warm feeling fills her, as if she feels… happy and content.

“I-I will be there, yes!”

Arousing or Embarrassing?*

WARNING: Imagine might contain mature material so read with your own risk! No need to come say to me that I didn’t warned you

Posted on Instagram: 8th of December, 2016


Justin’s POV:

She kicked of her high heels and pulled the zipper of her dress down before she let it fall on the floor. “Ugh, I’m so tired” she moaned and picked up her dress on the floor and brought it in her closet. “Well, then you can nothing but go to bed” I chuckled and lose up my tie and opened my shirt

We had spent a whole night in our friend’s welcoming party and I wasn’t really suprised why Y/N was telling me that because I felt a bit tired too. It was close 11PM already but thankfully it was Friday and none of us had work tomorrow so we could stay in the bed whole day tomorrow if we want to

Y/N came out of the bathroom her cute grey top on and she jumped in the bed. “Good night, handsome” she giggled and pulled her blanket over herself and just maybe two minutes later she had fell asleep. It always made me suprised how someone can get in sleep that fast. I still went brush my teeths before I moved in the bed next to her


I woke up in the middle of the night to weird sound. I looked next to me and noticed that it was Y/N. I heard her moaning softly something but I didn’t recognize what. I was able to tell that she was having a wet dream by the way her nails were gripping tightly against the sheets and she seemed like that she would have been ready to come in any second

It made me kind of jealous that some dream of hers had that much effect on her but when I heard her whimpering my name under her breath I knew that there was no reason to that

I grinned myself and followed how her chest started move faster and her grip got tighter against the sheets before she whimpered low and lost it. Seconds later her eyes opened and she looked around embarrassed before she heated in the bathroom

I acted like I would have been sleeping and not aware of that she had just seen a dream of me plus probably came. Just thought of that made me hard already. She came back to bed about 5 minutes later and pulled her blanket over her body

I would have just wanted to wrab my arm around her and make her feel how hard she had made me but I contained myself of that satisfaction, at least a half hour when I couldn’t get sleep because of that. Finally I just gave up and walked in the bathroom

I pushed toilet cover over the seat and sat down before I pushed my boxers down on my knees. Damn you, Y/N, I hissed myself while I had started slowly jack myself out. It sent chills to my body and I had to groan low hoping that nobody could hear it

However, some moments later, I heard a knock on the door and I exactly knew who it was, Y/N (well, it couldn’t be no one else than her because there didn’t live anyone one else than us in our apartment) I just groaned frustrated and pulled my boxers back on before I went to open the door

“Isn’t it a bit weird time of day to jack off?” she giggled and her eyes landed on my massive boner. “Well it’s not my problem if you make me horny, while you’re moaning my name in your sleep” I couldn’t help myself but say that out and her face went in red

“Did I..” she mumbled and I nodded. “Yeah, and the most of those weren’t so quiet ones” I added amd sge covered her face with her hands. “Oh my lord, this is so embarrassing” I mumbled and laid on our bed on her stomach

“No, I think that it was arousing as fuck” I told when I moved aftet her to our bedroom.“But you know what would be even more arousing? Hearing what I was doing to you on that dream. Maybe we.. maybe we could do that in practise then” I smirked and she looked me shyly in the eyes

Our lips connected and we shared a few short kisses before I pushed her on her back against the bed. “So would you like to open your mind now and tell?” I raised my eyebrows. It was some of those things which made her chuckle whatever the subject was, almost

She shook her head and tried get out of my grip but I kept her tightly there. “You’re not leaving anywhere if you don’t tell” I told and she sighed deeply. “Fine fine, just let me go first” she told. First I didn’t trust her but when I slowly lightened my grip, I noticed that she wasn’t going anywhere. Finally I let her sat up in front of me on the bed

“So..” I asked when I noticed her biting lip. “There was you and me” she started and wait my acception to continue. “We were at my parent’s place. They were somewhere having a holiday and we were keeping their house up, you know” she told closely

I raised my eyebrows asking her to continue but she just looked my back and nodded. “And we did it.. you know.. it.. in their house” she mumbled. Seemly she tried get away the situation the easiest way that possible but I was too curious to hear that all coming out of her mouth

“I don’t understand. Could you please tell what do you mean?” I tried look inmocent as possible when I looked her deeply in her eyes. She just rolled her eyes and sighed annoyed. “You know what I mean. Had sex”

Just those two words made my hormones go crazy already. I felt like I would have been that 17-years-old boy again who had problems to talk or listen about things of sex without getting a boner. But I still wanted hear more. “What exactly we did?” I moved closer to hear that my breath was hitting against her face

“Mm.. tell, baby. I want know that I can do it right then. I need more information” I teased her with my words and she cursed something herself. “Why are you doing this to me, Justin?” she whispered. “You know that I’m not good things like that”

I made her look at me and kissed her softly before I said: “Try at least, tell what there happened. What I did to you? How I did it to you? Where? When?” She sighed deeply and thought a little moment before she continued. “Well, first we did it in their kitchen table..” she mumbled and it made my heart took an extra beat

“Did it happen more than once?” I raised my eyebrows suprised and she nodded quickly. “Yeah, maybe four times” she blushed and giggled nervously. Damn, that girl was like a book for me. That more I read her, that more interesting it got. On that moment however, we couldn’t talk about it as reading but dating

“And then what happened next?” I asked and moved sit closer to her. I set my hands on her thighs and nodded her to continue. “Then we did it still on their living room, in the bath tub and their bed” It started get hot, I could tell and it wasn’t just me who felt so. Y/N had started move nervously and was biting her lip

“Damn, baby…” I mumbled to her ear and I let my fingers ran down from her next to front of her top. “I’d really like to make that dream come true, you know, but we can’t until that moment come” I chuckled and pulled other strap of her top off her shoulder. “.. but until that we can do it just here so if you don’t mind” I winked to her

She winked back and wrabbed her arms around my neck. “Sounds good” she mumbled and kissed me. She pulled her top over her head and sat in front of me now just her pantie on. My gaze travelled from to her face to toes. “What have I done to deserve you?” I mumbled and made her giggle before she laid on the bed

I pulled my shorts off and hovered over her smirking. “You ready?” I asked and she nodded quickly. “How do you want it? Slow or fast? Hard or gentle?” My questions seemly annoyed her since I heard her groan low. “You can choose” I nodded accepting and pulled my boxers off after I ripped her panties off

I pumped myself few times on my hand before I pushed myself inside her tightness and started move. I started slow but fastened my pace that more turned on I got and that more she started beg for it. Her eyes rolled on her head and a low moans flew out of her mouth like a music

“Is this what you wanted? Is this what you dreamed about it be like?” I murmed her between the thrusts. “Y-yes. Please harder” she moaned and I did as she told. I loved hearing her moan and whimpering like that. It was maybe one of the favorite sounds of mine

She arched her back and let her nails grip gently against my back which gave me some boost to continue. “You look so beautiful like that, so hot” I mumbled and kissed her neck when I got some space to myself there. I sucked it and left a few deep purple marks there because I made my way over her breasts and kissed them softly

After a couple minutes treatment to them I replaced my hand over them and same time started thrusts her harder. Her screams got wilder but I didn’t care. She could even wake up the whole neighborhood with them, at least they would know who was in the charge now. “Louder, baby. Let them hear how good I’m making you feel” I murmed to her ear but I got from her was pleased sigh

First signs of new morning started already appear to the room but we didn’t let it interrupt or stop us finishing. We both were tired but we couldn’t let it be the reason to stop because that would mean it that any of us wouldn’t get that what we needed

I fastened my pace and tightened my grip against her hips before I let go. Slowly the wave of warmness and satifaction filled my body and a low, long groan slipped out of my mouth

I continued still and a couple minutes later Y/N reached her high too. Her back arched off the mattress and her little hands went tightly in fists. Her breath was irregular like mine too. We just stared each others breathless before I heard those cute little giggles coming out of her mouth. I started laugh a little too before I laid next to her on the bed and wrabbed my arms around her

“You should see more often drems like that” I whispered and kissed her back. It tickled her and she started giggle again. “Yeah, but what stops us doing that without those dreams too?” she turned around and looked me. “Well, true but it’s more fun like that” I grinned and caresed her soft hair

“Maybe we should implement your dream then next time” she bit her lip and pulled a blanket over herself. Her suggestion made my body aware again and a big smirk spread on my face. “Or why don’t we do it right now?” I winked and kissed her. “Noo, I haven’t recovered the last round yet still” she giggled and tried push me away but failed

Our face were just a few centimeters away from each others and I grinned widely. “Say that again and I’ll stop” I mumbled but like I thought she kept her mouth close. I kissed her neck softly and whispered: “Good girl”

I have this headcannon that Jack gets super into Christmas. She strings lights, hums Christmas carols and wants Shepard and Vakarian to throw a Christmas party, but she just ends up taking it over with all her biotic students and the crew. She walks around in a Santa hat, making cookies, asks Liara to play Jingle bells on the piano.
Shepard and most of Normandy’s former crew go along with it, just happy Jack isn’t trying to kill everything in her path anymore. Shepard makes egg nog and decorates the tree with the children. Gylph plays Christmas music and uses his spin function. Liara biotically spins dreidels, getting her winter holidays mixed up, a shadow broker can’t be expected to REMEMBER everything. Kaiden and James help Shepard with hanging stockings, there is a lot more to hang now since Jack basically adopts every student she has, and all their stockings have to be unique and special (or else). Tali making hot cocoa with Edi (both dextro and levo), telling her all about her new home on Rannoch and inviting her and Joker to visit once the remodel is finished. Grunt and Wrex arguing over what the Hell purpose tinsel has, but smile when Jack comes over to check on their progress. Everything has to be just so. This is her first Christmas with a real family.

Then there is Garrus and Zaeed, not totally convinced this isn’t another clone. They start formulating plans of attack for different hypothetical scenarios and setting up “booby traps” as Zaeed calls them…And although Garrus has seen booby traps and it is nothing like the ones his wife has in her closet, he goes along with the phrasing because he doesn’t want to alarm anyone or bother Shepard before it is necessary. He read stress isn’t good during pregnancy and he was going to be the best dad he could be genetics be damned.
After a laughable amount of time has passed Miranda comes over to Garrus, he quickly tries to hide any evidence of the work he and Zaeed were doing. He fumbles a little and tries to distract Miranda. “Uhhh, egg nog?” He asks and smiles, play cool Vakarian.
“I scanned her earlier, that’s really Jack. You and Zaeed can stop before you blow up the whole apartment.”
“How do we know it’s really her?” Asked Zaeed over Garrus’s comm line.
“Yeah…How do I know it’s really you?” Garrus questioned. Miranda folds her arms and smiles. “Ok, it’s her, stand down Massani.”

Garrrus went over to Shepard kissed her on the head and rubbed her belly. He laughs as he tells her about all the modifications he and Zaeed made when he thought Christmas Jack was a clone.

Jack overhears, grabs a plate of cookies, and walks over to the couple. “Well excuse me for trying to grow as a damn person…Here Shepard, for you.” Jack hands the plate to Shepard. “They’re levo. But with what he said, Garrus should probably eat one”. Jack winks and walks away.
“Good thing we got her a great present this year.” Shepard said, eating one of hers cookies.

Garrus goes over to apologize and Jack forgives him on one condition…
A few moments later Garrus comes out of his room dressed as Santa…

What advantages do we have against Trump?

     So I was thinking about what tools do we have against Trump, what is working in our favor when so much isn’t (seriously seven states goddamn).  And I came up with three.First and most importantly, Trump lost 54% of the voters, between Clinton and third parties, the majority of voters were against him, and his getting in on an outdated political system is not going to get them to be popular. And since pretty much anybody who wanted to vote for Trump did and millions of people who voted for obama stayed home because Clinton was terrible (regretting that now I imagine) most of the 46% of America who stayed home don’t like him either.  Hell 51% of Trump voters don’t like him, so he has like an anti mandate.  And that is before taking office, all presidents lose some support once they are in power unless they do something universally popular (lol no) or are the target of an assassination plot (oh god no)  Seriously the worse thing that could happen to us is if somebody tries to kill Trump, that is what allowed Reagan his second term.  

                   Secondly, Trump’s money conflict of interest stories aren’t going away, these are going to stay around for the next four years it is going to be constant and it is going to get more and more blatant.  Despite his attempts to distract from the issue, it hasn’t really worked everybody is talking about his money conflicts.    And this is going to be a constant drip drip drip effect, the congress is acting blaze about the whole thing but that sort of shit is going to erode at Trump’s support because the working class defectors are going to be hearing constantly about how he supports his own business interests.  And don’t forget the scandals, we are inevitably going to have shit get leaked, Trump doing stupid shit at special occasions and just needless bad publicity that will help undermine his regime.  Also shit like this prevents normalization as the press is going to eagerly report on the time Trump got into a twitter war with a reporter for reporting on his conflicts of interests.  Also shit like pizzagate, while absolutely horrifying is not good publicity, I mean Trump doesn’t look good when his own supporters do crazy insane things in his name based on theories he promoted .

      Thirdly, the Republican congressional policies are really unpopular.  Most Americans support Gay Marriage, most support Roe Vs. Wade ,the vast majority support Social Security, Medicaid and Medicare, Minimum Wage, oppose mass deportation, and believe Climate change is a real and present problem.  Once the Republicans start to propose those policies, it is going to be a lot of resistance because most Americans like these policies.  To say nothing of the possibility of a new crash    

     Fourth Trump and his Congress are likely going to in fight and when they do Trump is going to attack them personally on twitter and this is going to cause havoc with the Republicans as they turn on themselves.  They are now the ruling party so they are held to a different standard and as they continue to fuck up and yell at each other, it makes the democrats have more time to rally.  

     Fifth he is going galvanize the rest of the country to actually come out and bloody vote.  Democrats outnumber Republicans but REpublicans always vote in every election while Democrats stay home and watch videos of cats.  But considering how angry, afraid, humiliated, and furious everybody who believes in basic human rights is going to be infurated and come out.  I mean if Clinton won, I doubt , Vote on November 6th 2018, vote in your local elections, vote in your state elections, just bloody vote.     

      And finally…demographics are still on our side.  Republican base is mostly old, and they are dying off, the youth is overwhelmingly liberal, the minority population are growing, and key red states are slowly becoming blue, we outnumber them.  If we come out and vote, we win, if we stay home, we lose.  Clinton was such a bad choice that a lot of dems stayed home, plus voter suppression, but time is on our side, if we can rally and come out and vote, we will win. 


    Oh i forgot another one, see as evil as Trump’s cabinet is, none of them have any experience with elected goverment even on a mayoral level, its all political neophytes, they don’t know what they are doing. So we are going to see an administration who are kinda inept, there are going to be fuck ups, like when Trump wastes time on the wrong phone call or Steve Bannon calls the ambassador of Israel a nasty word or something, there are going to be fuck ups, and leaks, and infighting, and bullshit drama and also none of them know how to run their departments. So the civil servants can resist them and largely on a cabinet level i’m not sure how effective Trump is going to be, his people have no fucking clue what they are doing

just wanted to share this:

my friend is tutoring a class of ten-year-olds and I stood with them in a break. they were playing this game where you have to randomly choose a boy or girl and whether you’re going for ice cream or to the cinema or partying with them (it’s super cheesy and those kids are tiny, but that’s not my point). They kept asking her to choose and she said “fine, I’ll go partying with…” and one of the girls was like “You can go with him!!” and pointed to one of the other kids.
When the break was over, my friend told me how the boy they pointed to had introduced himself the first time all of them met, which was basically: “Hi, my name is Mia but I’d rather be a boy so you can call me Max” and all the others just went “yeah fine” and that makes me so happy because something like that would’ve never worked 6 years ago when I was ten and all those kids are so open-minded and relaxed about it, so maybe the world isn’t all bad.

Shufflemancy Readings

So I’m bored and I really want to do some readings today but I figured I would branch out and try something new. So for a little bit I’m going to be doing some shufflemancy readings. Totally new with this one folks but I want to learn and get better with it. Feedback would be greatly appreciated. So guidelines for this are:

  1. No Third Party Questions. This includes asking for the thoughts and emotions of others. Not really that comfortable doing those questions
  2. Love Readings. I don’t mind relationship advice questions because improving a relationship, be it romantic or platonic, is always a good thing. That being said I will not answer questions about marriage or if X likes you.
  3. Don’t ask what you don’t want to know. The cards will tell you what you need to hear not necessarily what you want to hear. Keep that in mind when forming a question and be prepared for the answer you might get.
  4. Don’t know what to ask? “What do I need to know right now is usually a good standby. Also these are some good questions.
  5. Phrasing is everything. There are multiple ways to phrase a question and if you need any help with that read this.
  6. Give me some detail. I will not take questions that are just “Can I have a free reading?” What do you want to know? Some detail into the question you have would be helpful because I don’t have much to focus on otherwise. Help me help you.
  7. Yes/No Questions. I won’t take them. I’ve mentioned several times that I’m really not that good with those types of questions. Try phrasing your question a bit differently and it’ll be much easier for me answer.

So when you think of your question tell me how many times for me to shuffle and how many times to skip forward. Hopefully this will be very educational and enlightening for us all. It is 1:40 PM Central right now and I think I’ll be doing this until about 3:30 PM Central or sooner if it’s a slow day. Hopefully I’ll hear from a few of you.

Originally posted by heartbreakhur

lxtmysoulsing replied to your post: okay i really need alt faceclaims i think… i have…

Fam, honestly, just use Haruhi. I can’t find a better option, otherwise I’d reccomend it

for the others, I would go look at the animecharacterdatabase. I’m sure there are good icons for Sev and Zen, and actually I have one that almost fits Sev if you want icons?

you’re an actual angel haha

i may have to go with haruhi – she’s honestly such a perfect fit, i just didn’t wanna be one of Those People, you know? i’d love a recommendation for seven though!

(also i had no idea that website existed or i would’ve gone there first and foremost omg….. late to the party)