i mean it was in buffalo

Day One Hundred and Thirty-One

-At the ripe age of 21, I have finally come to find just what the phrase “adult toys” really means. This breakthrough was made after a man purchased a plastic miniature buffalo that was as anatomically-correct as it was well-endowed.

-A woman slams a severed Troll head on my counter. My mind races to decide exactly what her message is. She is either telling me that she wants to purchase this trophy, or that I am going to be next. I hope to find out before it’s too late.

-I found a greeting card featuring a textless portrait of an anthropomorphic and incredibly muscular cow standing over an open grill, tongs in hand, hat on head. I know not what the message inside read, but I have no interest in finding out. The universe this card presents to me is full of logic I find deeply unsettling.

-An older gentleman genuinely and passionately bought into the cliched joke of “that item won’t scan, so it must be free!” While I wish that this encounter had been avoided altogether, I do respect anyone willing to fight tooth and nail for what they believe in. The bards will sing of this battle for time immemorial.

-“Is the Coke Icee okay for kids?” I was entirely unprepared for such a seemingly silent child to ask me such a loaded question. “Of course,” I told him. He paused for a moment, this revelation setting in. “Wow,” he whispered. “I’ve never heard of a Coke that’s okay for kids before.” The sheer terror on his mother’s face told me that I had just undone years of anti-Coke conditioning. I stand by my actions. This truth will serve him well in the coming future.

-A child threw himself over my conveyor belt, shouting “This is my domain!” He ruled his new kingdom with an iron fist and steely focus, until he became mesmerized by the fact that his hands were being pulled down the register from him. With the utmost grace, he stepped down from his thrown and retired to a live of excitedly cheering on his hands as they raced down the belt.

2

This one lady got her buffalo leeches (second photo) the same time I did but hers are a million times bigger?? Mine are practically still baby size :(

It may mean mine aren’t getting the right nutrition even though I give them pork blood every week as recommended.

I think she’s actually feeding them her own blood directly.

I don’t know if my medications would be healthy for them, they can get really sick from that!

indie movies that remind me of the signs
  • aries: american beauty; scott pilgrim vs the world; fight club; the bling ring; cry baby; dreamgirls; pulp fiction; the avengers
  • taurus: 500 days of summer; scarface; amélie; eternal sunshine of the spotless mind; la dolce vita; django unchained; 13 going on 30; the princess diaries
  • gemini: mean girls; the breakfast club; life of pi; ferris bueller's days off; boyhood; hairspray; peter pan; spring breakers
  • cancer: forrest gump; titanic; closer; edward scissorhands; mommy; buffalo '66; the devil wears prada; blue valentine
  • leo: american psycho; silver linings playbook; sleeping beauty; lucy; heathers; the family addams; lolita; grease
  • virgo: trainspotting; blue is the warmest color; matilda; memento; black swan; elephant; submarine; psycho
  • libra: tree of life; lost in translation; the virgin suicides; clueless; napoleon dynamite; the grand hotel budapeste; romeo + juliet; little miss sunshine
  • scorpio: 10 things i hate about you; donnie darko; gone girl; requiem for a dream; moonrise kingdom; the craft; breakfast at tiffany's; a clockwork orange
  • sagittarius: vicky cristina barcelona; dazed and confused; the perks of being a wallflower; kids; detroit rock city; drive; billy elliot; taxi driver
  • capricorn: léon: the professional; the godfather; inception; beetlejuice; nightcrawler; the dark knight; the wolf of wall street; girl interrupted
  • aquarius: her; rebel without a cause; moulin rouge!; the rocky horror picture show; ghost world; birdman; big fish; alice in wonderland
  • pisces: almost famous; palo alto; juno; mister lonely; the great gatsby; stand by me; daisies; kill bill

anonymous asked:

I hope this doesn't sound dumb but I wanted you to know your art has had such an impact on my life, it inspires me all the time and stirs up so many feelings. Your art really means a lot to me and I hope you will always keep creating it.

Oh, I would never think this sounded dumb at all–this is a wonderfully kind message ♥ It means a lot to me that you feel that way about my artwork, so we’ve got a mutually-beneficial symbiotic relationship going on here!

Lipreading

Lipreading doesn’t really work if you can’t hear at all, but if you can hear some, then you kind of end up lipreading and manage to make out stuff easier with seeing lips.

Like with a lot of sounds, they look the same. I can think of one example, go to a mirror and say “pat a bat on a mat” in an ordinary way.. Then do it really exaggerated. You’ll probably notice that first off, it’s pretty hard to say…… But also, it’s pretty hard to see the difference… and saying it exaggerated doesn’t change that.

To some deaf persons, a lot of that example would look like you’re just repeating a word over and over… This is basically how most of spoken language is like. A lot of shit said over and over. It’s like the phrase “Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo”.. You don’t really understand what’s said even if there’s imposed meaning.

As a HoH person, I can go off some things though, there’s a lot of shit that blends together… And lipreading sort of distinguishes it for me. I heard only bits of sentences… Sometimes it’s more “I can hear there is sound, but jut not what exactly it is”… Like I can hear tone of voice or what kind of sound there is.

It’s kind of hard to really put words on it, but I’m going to try. When I hear and see someone speak, if someone were to say something, I would hear syllables, and I would hear some consonant… And lip movement often puts it together in my head.

But whilst this might be the case… This isn’t magic. It’s just that moreso I go off what I can hear, and lipreading becomes a distinguisher… But what must be understood is, most of lipreading relies on context and cues, and also actually hearing some things that distinguish words from each other.

Lipreading requires context and visual cues, and I would even argue some hearing, to really work. I use it basically only when it’s noisy in the environment I’m in, because that’s when I’m forced to.

When non-fish friends ask me if a betta would right for them...
  • What I say: Oh, betta are very easy to keep!
  • What I mean: As fish go, betta are very easy to keep.
  • What I'm terrified people actually hear: Betta are basically pet rocks.
  • What I say: They don't need a ton of space,...
  • What I mean: 5 gallons isn't a huge tank,...
  • What I'm terrified people actually hear: A 1 gallon bowl is basically spoiling them,...
  • What I say: ...they're forgiving of water conditions,...
  • What I mean: ...they don't need RO water like discus, and if your ammonia ticks to one part per googleplex, they won't keel over,...
  • What I'm terrified people actually hear: *something something, water buffalo hoofprints*
  • What I say: ...and they don't have a fancy diet.
  • What I mean: ...and they don't require live food like pea puffers. In fact, a jar of high-quality pellets is all you need.
  • What I'm terrified people actually hear: ...and that 5 year old jar of goldfish flakes in your closet will be fine.
  • What I say: If you're interested, I'd love to help you shop around.
  • What I mean: Please bring me. My multiple tank syndrome is flaring up and I'm afraid this is the only cure.
  • What I'm terrified people actually hear: I'm only offering to be nice, please don't trouble me.

newt-fruit-main  asked:

I was wondering if you had any information on White Oak Conservation and if their AZA accreditation was being renewed- it looks like it expires this month and they have zero AZA logos on their site, which is unusual for members.

I do, in fact! I just got to take a tour of their facility. White Oak, is, in short, incredible and makes pretty much everyone I know drool. (Full disclosure: I totally put off this question for a week or so, until I had a chance to tour the facility).

White Oak is a conservation breeding center, not a zoo. As a result, it’s an AZA Certified Related Facility, rather than being an accredited one. That’s not a bad thing - it indicates a different business structure, basically. AZA CRF facilities have to uphold the same standards of animal care and management and conservation involvement that accredited facilities do, but they don’t have to be as aesthetically pleasing or necessarily open to the public. You can learn more about that here.  Being up for certification again doesn’t mean anything bad about them, it’s just a five year cycle. Their hearing was held during the AZA mid-year conference and they were re-certified until 2023. Not having AZA logos up isn’t bad, although you’re right that it’s a bit odd - it’s really a personal choice on behalf of the organization how much they want to talk about it. Since White Oak isn’t really open to the public the way zoos are, it’s not as important for them to highlight their standing as organization members. If you’re in the field, and you know about White Oak, you know how important it is. 

So, touring White Oak was obviously a pretty different experience than a zoo. I actually don’t have many photos of it, because the enclosures were huge and the fencing was designed for function, not aesthetics (not easy to take photos through at a distance - I’m embedding photos from news articles because few of mine came out), and because it was raining and most of the animal were under shelter and not out where we could see them. That’s what comes with visiting a facility that wasn’t designed for the purpose of public viewing. The enclosures were huge and gorgeous - and when I say huge, I mean I couldn’t get the breadth of any of them in a single photo from my position on the tour bus, no matter how far I backed up. 

With the exception of a single species - the Cape Buffalo - all the species in the collection are endangered. And because they’re not constrained by location / available space or the public desire to see the animals, like most zoos are, they don’t just have one or two. White Oak has enough space for whole herds of every type of African antelope you can think of, as well as specific areas for bachelor groups so that young males can be moved out of their herds of origin when they start reaching sexual maturity. If you think seeing one or two bongo is impressive… try seeing something like 20 adults all trying to squish in under the driest rain shelter together. 

(Image Source)

But friends, I have to tell you about the rhinos. When you go to a zoo, you see a couple of rhinos. If you go to the San Diego Safari Park, you might see six or eight of one species all laying together on a hill (as I did, two years ago). At White Oak, though… White Oak has groups of White rhinos, Greater One-Horned rhinos (previously known as Indian rhinos), and black rhinos. When the tour bus goes into the rhino area - which is the end of the tour, of course - there is something that feels almost gluttonous about being in the middle of fields of rhinos, to the point you can’t even get all of them in your field of vision at one time. But what feels truly decadent, and the only way I know how to explain how incredible White Oak is, is the fact that within ten minutes we saw at least seven baby rhinos. Seven. Baby. Rhinos. All from the ages of two days old to yearlings, of multiple species. There’s nowhere else on the continent you can experience that.

(Image Source)

Now, it’s important to point out that the facility only manages to have impressive herds like this because they are privately owned, and the people who own them are incredibly rich and have chosen to put their money into conservation efforts. To contextualize the amount of money that has to go into a facility like White Oak to make it functional: the founder of the site was one of the owners of the racehorse Secretariat; the current owners own the Dodgers baseball team; the formal event space in on the site has real, complete T-Rex and triceratops skulls on display as well as complete woolly rhino and saber-tooth cat skeletons (not casts, the real fossils). Conservation work on the scale of White Oak requires philanthropy, not fund-raising, and that’s why there’s only one place like this in the country. 


Tours of White Oak are expensive - $100 a head for the cheapest tour - and only offered twice a week, but if you’re in the area, I highly recommend it. They’re doing incredible research alongside their conservation breeding, and it’s mind-blowing to see huge herds of these rare and endangered antelope in one place.

(Correction: In the original version of this post, it was stated that White Oak has Northern White Rhinos. That is not correct - there are only two of that subspecies left, and they are not on the North American continent. The post has been edited. Obviously, the death of Sudan has been on my mind). 

Okay, so, here’s my theory:

El Mierda is, in fact, a demon. The crusty old man appearance is such a cliche disguise for powerful entities.

Murdoc could have been lying. I mean, he kind of IS a narcissistic, compulsive liar. That doesn’t surprise me. But there’s something fishy about that last picture that was sent to us…

First of all, how in the fuck would he have gotten himself on that yak? He didn’t. Someone else tied him up there. Secondly, he’s still got his prison jumpsuit on; wouldn’t he be wearing his normal street clothes if he was formally released like the document claims?

ALSO, THE BUFFALO THING HAS RED FUCKING EYES. UHHHH. Yeah, some demon douche is coordinating this.

In conclusion, I believe that El Mierda is still very much a threat. I believe that he’s the center for all of the strange happenings lately, including 2D’s obvious possession. But we shall see… 🤔

You know what I love? Words that sound and mean the same in Slovak and Romanian

bici/bič whip
un bivol/byvolbuffalo
bogat/bohatý rich
citi/čítať to read
ciudat/čudný strange
dar/dar a gift
o graniță/hranica a border
un morcov/mrkva a carrot
neamţ/nemec german
obicei/obyčaj a custom
praf/prach dust
prost/sprostý stupid
prieten/priateľ friend
pernă - pillow, /perina - blanket
slavă/sláva glory
slobod/slobodný free
sluji/slúžiť to serve
slănină/slanina bacon
șapcă/čiapka cap
slab/slabý weak
vifor/víchor storm
vină/vina fault
labă/laba paw
palincă/pálenica brandy ?
cămin - fireplace, /komín - chimney
cârciumă/krčma pub
curvă/kurva whore
glas/hlas voice
lebădă/labuť swan
oţel/oceľ steel

*first translation is in Romanian, second in Slovak

anonymous asked:

I was just thinking this would be a funny concept if you'd like to explore it: Niall realizes he's dating the female version of Harry. Like he suddenly realizes Harry and his SO have a ton in common personality-wise and it freaks him out for a minute

I was late.  I hated being late.  I was anal-retentive about a lot of things.  No one could touch my closet, I had a certain way things should be in the kitchen and I was never, ever late.  She and I were leaving for Las Vegas this afternoon.  I was supposed to be performing at the iHeartmusic Festival which was already nerve wracking enough for me, but we were also going to be meeting two out of three of my bandmates.  I think I might’ve been more nervous than she was.  She and Harry would get along fine, she and Louis?  Well, it could go either way.

We’d been dating for a year.  The best year of my life along with the year after we’d signed our first record deal.  I was in love.  Desperately.  I was gonna marry this girl.

I ran through the front door,

“Angel!!”  I called out as the door slammed behind me.  I took the stairs two at a time before stopping halfway up them when a pungent odor invaded my nostrils. 

What the…

It smelled like garbage.

And feet.

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underrated musical theater bops:

The Loser, The Geek, or Whatever from Be More Chill

Goin’ Viral (cut song) from Dear Evan Hansen

The Smartphone Hour from Be More Chill

Mama Will Provide from Once on This Island

Song of the Brown Buffalo by Joe Iconis 

The Bro Duet by Drew Gasparini (sung by Jason Gotay and George Salazar)

Whose House is This? from Mean Girls

Do This Thing from Mean Girls

One Short Day from Wicked

She’s in Love from The Little Mermaid

What the Heck I Gotta Do from 21 Chump Street

Make a Move from Shrek

You and I from Bare

Son of Man from Tarzan

(Just a) Simple Sponge from Spongebob Squarepants the Musical

So….it was my friend’s 21st birthday party last night…

- I got there and Raychel was immediately like “Molly are you planning on drinking?” and I was like “Yes duh” and she, deep-voiced, goes “Good. You deserve it. You deserve the world and I deserve to see you get it”

- I forgot that I hate chocolate vodka and got a spiked milkshake at the restaurant

- People were just. screaming about anime. Everyone else in the place must have hated us

- “the asshole is my enemy and needs to be punished.”

- “So…my girlfriend like, bought chloroform?” “Have fun with that.”

- I literally forgot to get her a present whoops

- birthday girl, on her third drink: “Listen I know we’re going  back to my house to drink after this but don’t worry!!! I’m not gonna get that drunk tonight, it won’t be bad”

- l m a o

- we get to her house, immediately start doing shots. I hadn’t touched anything yet bc there was a bottle of electric blue shit and I knew damn well that was going into my body but I was told to wait until people got back with sodas for mixers

- but this guy Patrick who I went all thru grade school with goes “Molly, you’re a real man”, hands me a bottle of whiskey and was like “I feel like my entire childhood was leading up to drinking whiskey with you” and honestly I couldn’t argue??? I felt that way too

- a wholesome experience I’m sure all of our old teachers would be so proud to see us finally bonding and getting along lmao

- Jacqui wanted some whiskey and we’re like “you had two margarita’s at the restaurant maybe not” but she didn’t listen and after she took a shot I had to hide the bottle from her to stop her from having any more lol

- Jacqui, drunk “Mollllly you’re my wiiiiife!”

- Raychel (bd girl) also drunk, across the room “But she’s my alpha husband what the fuck!!!!”

- I was not fucking looking when Raychel’s drink was mixed but it was like. Emerald fucking green. I know it had the sour apple shit vodka in it but idk what else. And then they added food dye and cake glitter so it turned into a galaxy drink holy shit

- Jacqui mixed the blue stuff with sprite and I took a sip and it tasted amazing??? So then I poured my own and I don’t know if I used too much alcohol or too much soda but it tasted like draino I literally had a brief Heather Chandler moment

- Kept drinking it but that’s besides the point

- Now, we need to talk about my alcohol tolerance. It’s high. It’s strong.

- So almost everyone else was drunk out of their asses and I’m sitting there like???? What the fuck???? I want to be intoxicated???? This is hell???? Like at this point I had to have had??? A total six or so shots of vodka and the whiskey and I was FINE and mad about that lmao

- That’s my thing it takes me forever to get drunk and then I get really drunk and blessedly never have hangovers so I can’t really complain I guess?

- But when this happens the logical next step is to drink more lmao Raychel started insisting I share her ridiculous drink with her

- That thing….tasted like everything Jesus died to save us from.

- Also I think I ended up drinking more of it than she did lmao

- Pocket full of sunshine started playing and half the room got turnt while the other half watched in confusion

- I kept trying to take selfies with Raychel and in ever one??? She looks inhumanely gorgeous???? And I look like a goblin???? What the fuck

- At this point I was finally getting drunk so Raychel gave me her phone going “you have my favorite face in the world take so many selfies for me!!!” and….bitch I did. I had that phone for about three hours, barely put it down, loved every single one of my angles for the first time in my life, and I honestly do not know how many selfies of me she’s going to find later lmao

- “I once made an art piece out of my pubic hair but like I lost it in someone’s apartment”

- Garrett, who’s apparently never drank before, whisper-yelling in horror “I took a lot of shots….On purpose!!!! ….I’m sorry,”

- He got very wasted very fast and then went upstairs to sleep lmao

- Raychel started crying telling me I was pretty and I was like “Thanks but you do this when you’re sober so I don’t believe you??” and then her friend who barely talks to me comes over and is like “Honey listen I’m the least drunk person her and you’re gorgeous” and it eventually spiraled into “Molly, CHRISTINA AGUILERA thinks she’s ugly. Lady GaGa- BRITTNEY SPEARS CLEARLY HAS SELF ESTEEM ISSUES EVEN THO SHES A FUCKING SEX ICON. So you’re- OH my God!!! Adam Lambert probably thinks he’s the ugliest fucker in the world!!!!! So you’re beautiful!!!!” and like honestly? Feeling good rn

- To counter this I spent like half the night telling Patrick’s shy and quiet girlfriend Maura that she was the prettiest person I’ve ever seen. I couldn’t leave this poor girl alone she was adorable omfg

- Raychel, the one who ‘wasn’t going to get that drunk’: *spinning wildly, holding 13 conversations at once, constantly yelling about the pubic bone and the vulva, crying about plastic babies in a glitter tube*

- UPDATE AS IM TYPING THIS: Raychel has announced that she found a total of 438 pictures and videos on her phone OH MY GOD @PAST ME

- And that’s only on her phone I got a lot on my phone too and other people had cameras out lord knows how many were taken

- So when I’m drunk I feel a little lightheaded but ultimately fine until I like move a limb and it’s like ‘holy shit my head isn’t connect to my body’ like. so fucking dizzy. At one point I stood and was like ‘who wants to bet I can’t walk to the bathroom’ and someone decided to walk me there lmao

- Someone made glitter bombs out of eggs and we threw them in the street while angrily screaming things like “I LOVE MY FAMILY!” and “WHY DOES EVERY ACTUALLY NICE GUY I MEET HAVE A SMALL DICK!”

- Raychel gave me a tiny ball of clay and I really treasured it but then it broke apart I was so sad

- “Burt Macklin is a fucking bitch!” “Don’t talk to the kitten that way he’s the prettiest cat I’ve ever seen!”

- Jacqui got a slice of cake and then remembered she cannot eat when she’s drunk so I ended up eating. just a lot of cake

- My Little Pony songs were playing on the tv???? I’m still not sure how that got started

- Screaming about Alaska Thunderfuck

- I bet Patrick he’d be the first to puke but he left and I think I threw up in the bathroom???? I’m not 100% positive I did but the fact that I have doubt means he wins unfortunately

- There was one guy there I don’t think I actually got his name but he gave me a great hug when he was leaving. You know when like a bird lands on you and you feel like you’re special and have been chosen???? That’s what the hug felt like lmao

- Someone pulled buffalo chicken dip out of thin air which is my weakness and she told me to have some but like. I put one dipped chip in my mouth and knew it was a mistake. I felt it in my stomach. I hadn’t even fucking swallowed yet it was literally just in my mouth and my body was like ‘bitch can you take a break and let me live!’ omfg

- Since Raychel finally dumped her boyfriend I had no qualms about telling her I didn’t like him and she asked why and I was like “he tried to mansplain Greek mythology to me and he wasn’t even right!!!” and for some reason that made at least five people loose it.

- At the stroke of midnight, Raychel, pointing to the crucifix in the living room. “JESUS….HE’S HERE. HE’S ALIVE.”

- At some point I apparently started drunk texting a few of my friend’s that weren’t there w h o o p s

- Me, trying to explain myself to them this morning “You know, that Easter wine just really gets to me”

- I was stuck in the ‘coming down’ stage for like a million years. Like, still clearly drunk but Not As Bad

- And I was trying to get better before I texted my mother for a ride so like. I spent so long chugging water. I literally don’t think I’ve ever had that much water in my entire life. Raychel’s father and sister kept getting it for me as I continuously told them they were life savers. But it barely helped omfg

- Was definitely still a little wobbly when I woke up for water at like 6:30 but all good now and the hangover skipped over my soul @my genetic makeup bless you

- Fun night though!!! But now I’m off to an Easter family party so…we’ll see how that goes lol

Formality Pt 2

Season 1 Masterlist

Stiles Stilinski x Reader

Word Count: 1,589

Warnings: None

   I turned and riffled through the dresses on the racks around me. They were all very… Well, they were more Lydia’s style. She liked being showered with attention, so her clothing was always very modern and ‘in’. I mean, she dressed like a goddess, but it just wasn’t me. I liked simple. I found three dresses that I wanted to try on, then looked up to find Allison.

   My stomach dropped when I saw her standing with Peter. Alone. I listened in, and he was talking about her skin and how beautiful it was. Buffalo Bill, or what? I quickly walked to her.

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oh yeah a minor note about leeches.com

Interest in leeches as pets (or as home therapy, though be careful with that) is apparently skyrocketing lately and the main source of them for most people is going to be leeches.com, but they do engage in some sneaky practices!

Namely, they write their whole website as if they carry the “true” or “original” medicinal leech, H. medicinalis, when in fact this is completely illegal (they are a highly protected species) and all of their “medical leech” stock right now is Hirudo verbana, the species also used by hospitals today. The only exception is their $90 buffalo leech offer.

It isn’t a difference that will matter to most people, except that they still list Verbana as its own separate store item for 9 cents extra when it’s the same thing as their “medium leech” listing.

So, not a huge deal, they’re just kinda tricking some people out of about a dime. It definitely adds up if you’re someone buying like 100 leeches, but then that’d mean you’re spending some $1000 on leeches already so you probably don’t have a care in the world.