i love you more than i love air

I guess I am crazy...

Call me crazy but I’d rather be called crazy than liar. I cannot fool myself, truth is I want to free myself from my feelings for you. The more I try to get rid of it, the more it stays with me. I cannot deny that I still love you and as each day passes by my love for you remains. I don’t know if I should stay or go away. My heart says hang in there while my mind wishes for me to disappear in thin air. I simply want to vanish. I wish I can leave him alone so he will never see me again. I know he won’t even notice that I’m gone because I mean nothing to him. I hope he stays happy, it’s all that matters to me.

I was tagged by @saved-by-the-notepad. Sorry for taking so long to answer

1) If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go?

Does that also include going back in time? I want to be in Cyprus again at last years Christmas vacation. That one evening where we played Activity adult version and we laughed so fucking hard omg.

2) What’s your favorite television series?

Leverage and M*a*s*h

3) Favorite flavor of cookie?

chocolate. Is there any other?

4) What’s your ideal season?

Winter. I love layering and the cold sharpness of the air. I love snow and I love when it smells like snow. Nothing is as beautiful as a snowfield or a ski slope glistening in the sun.

5) Tea, hot chocolate or coffee?

I drink more tea than anything else, hot chocolate only for comfort cause its bad for my stomach and coffee is disguisting

6) Do you have any pets?

Yes!! The loves of my life, my two angels, Isabeau and Morrigan, cats.

7)Have you joined any new fandoms?

Yes. Brooklyn99 has dragged me into its deepths and I never intend to leave. Also 3% is pretty great!

8) Favorite color?

dark red

9) What’s a happy memory of yours?

Lately? Falling asleep next to @sir-alan-of-trebond on his first day in austria or of course holding my nephew for the first time when he was just 8 days old. He’s now a month.

10)Do you like sweet or savory snacks?

Both but I actually prefer savory cause I can eat more of them.

Not gonna ask any questions cause I can’t think of any right now!

12-03-2016 || My birthday: My love, light snow and a hot air balloon ride. I could never ask for anything more than the man who chose to love me. I am so very lucky to have you, babe. He is my entire life and so very much more. I couldn’t even imagine or want to think about waking up each day with him at my side. 

I saw this letter in my drafts and not sure if I ever sent it to you:

Babe, I love you! When I wake in the morning and know you’re there, I am filled with so much joy and happiness in knowing that my prayers had finally been answered. I appreciate you more because you love me at my worst and your arms hold me at my weakest. I would rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else. I’d rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself. I’d rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart. You’re the one who holds my heart. Thank you for the laughs, and the early morning kisses. Thank you for holding my hand through this life and proving that good men do still exist. Thank you for your love and friendship. And most of all, thank you for the pleasure of being your husband 

anonymous asked:

"don't mistake love for recreational fucking. he had you in a pool of a dead boy's blood and pounding you with his disgusting cock. you're pining for the attention of a man that loves your pussy more than he loves you. how can you believe that to be okay? actually, you know what? nevermind. i just -- i've known you TWO WEEKS but the more you talk about this, the more i want to murder your father." [d]

              mavis winces; whether his words mean to tear her to shreds or not, they hurt all the same. her insides minced by the uncouth way he states them, her body throbbing where her father had touched her the evening before. mavis has never felt dirty before, not even when her laundry was aired on the internet as her tiny body was pounded by the one boy she thought herself to love. “i do have a really nice pussy,” she whispers, unable to agree or disagree with him one way or another. byron donahue was not a man who showed affection often and mavis, however much she hates to admit, is sure the man cares more for mavis’ best friend karina than he does for her, but she never— and the mere thought of him murdering the man who’d caused her so much pain? she hates herself for being aroused by the tone of his voice, by the dark look in his hooded gaze. “dmitri, please,” mavis whimpers, arms wrapping around her knees as she feels every bit the teenage girl she truly is. @formidablesouls

PSA PSA PSA PSA

You do not have to look like a Victoria’s Secret model. 

“Wait…did she really just say that?”
 "As if we all don’t already know that…?“

Though some of us are secure in who we are and love ourselves immensely, I know that I am not the only one who is feeling a little insecure and not as great I should be about myself as this VS Fashion show airs tonight. The pictures of “perfection” are beginning to flood every social media outlet in our lives more than they already have.

God created us in HIS image.
He made us the way we are.
He looked at us and said, "Wow she is beautiful!”
The creator of the world thinks YOU are beautiful and perfect. Our beauty is found in the fact that we don’t look like everyone else, but that we are unique and special in the eyes of the King.
Please don’t forget your value and beauty. It is far too important to forget.

 -31 Women (Jordan)

i hate the way you fucking make me cry i hate our old fucking memories i hate you had to be taken away from me i hate this whole fucking thing i hate not being able to text you goodnight i hate not being able to tell you i love you and admire you as a living breathing fucking human being that i cherish and love more than anything on this sickening fucking earth. you were my breath of fucking fresh air when i’m fucking drowning. you were my fucking universe in a human vessel. you made me feel alive, immortal. i wanted to live; with you.
—  please come home please fucking come home
Wanderlust

Dear Reno,
In a year I’ll be saying my final goodbye. Off to the city that stole my heart and takes my breath away. Off to a new place that has not wronged me yet. A place that can renew my smile and innocence. A place that doesn’t bring back tears and horrific memories. However, I thank you for the experiences. The opportunity to be stronger. The chance to make mistakes and fall in and out of love more than once. I have no plans to bring the friends with me or the one I claim to love. I’m starting fresh with a clean slate. A new canvas for me to create. However I will not forget Oh Reno the things you’ve done for me. The baggage has become to much and the thoughts have clouded my mind. To a new breath of Portland air I adventure on.

darling,
you are a honey comb
and i am a starving bear
awaken in the middle of november
by her own growling heart


honey,
you are a field of flowers,
the shyest messengers of spring -
i need to learn to wait
so patiently to see
the crowns of your affection bloom


buttercup,
you are a singing river
fluid through my arms of stone
i’m letting go, take me away -
the sea is nothing
but the happy tears in my eyes


sunshine,
you are needed more than air,
let your golden silk melt down
this old, worn out winter fortress


icarus, old friend,
rest quiet,
my wings shall not be charred  -
love has lifted me this high,
love has made them strong enough.

—  she, toni pashova

anonymous asked:

Aphrodite, Apollo, Eros, Hera, Zeus :-)

Aphrodite: what you find attractive in a person- dude idek i suppose passion and authenticity and like someone who is way cooler than me usually who is thoughtful and genuine and interesting (hot weirdos is a more concise way to say that)

Apollo: favourite piece of music- BOY who do u think u are askin me this man i love music so much how do i pick i cannot pick but ive been rly into the weepies and also some emo things like dandelion hands and Elvis Depressedly and hotel books

Eros: describe your crush- soft, happy, a dog, i love dogs, people are gross, dogs

Hera: opinion on feminism- NEED THAT SHIT MORE THAN I NEED AIR

Zeus: three places you want to travel to- boy everywhere man arizona and NM and Yosemite and Sri Lanka and Tibet and Pakistan and Tanzania and Rwanda and i have so many things to see my dude lets go to alaska lets go to japan

I loved you dangerously
More than the air that I breathe
Knew we would crash at the speed that we were going
Didn’t care if the explosion ruined me
Baby I loved you dangerously
I loved you dangerously

anonymous asked:

can u please do a poem on a relationship where you thought someone loved u but they were just using u ? thank u so much <3

I fell in love with a boy who was more blood than bone.
His breath rattled with love and heartbreak.
Who looked me in the eyes when he told me all the ways he could pull me a part and never mentioned the ways he could put me back together.
I let his friends inside me, to see him smile
I took money from my siblings and sold my things, to afford his addictions.
He smelled like stale cigarettes, body spray and the air before the rain.
He kissed me a thousand times in the back of cars and by train tracks and I never heard him when he told me he loved me too.

Breathless

I’ve tried writing this poem
More times than I can count.
It’s been inside me 
For far too long. 

I thought I was done.
I’ve been forcing myself
To stop writing about you
Even if I wanted to. 

I’m not in love with you
But I miss being in love with you
While you tried to make it unrequited
It wasn’t
It was too easy. 

The only difficult part
Of me and you
Was your running away
When we wanted you to stay. 

While our shared air is music
I need more
Than just music. 

I’m ready for the rest of my life to start
And you don’t fit into it anymore. 

I don’t want to write about you anymore
I want to breathe 
And with you I am breathless. 

anonymous asked:

Blake and his tiny snake. I don't think I can love the guy even more! Hahaha. Please can someone tape and upload the entire interview? You're in Australia like me, Nicole. So not sure if you could record it some how.

He’s absolutely adorable, and seriously, I LOVE his reading voice…. 

As for recording, if it was airing on a day other than Friday, I’d be in luck and have the whole thing early. But as it is, it won’t be online here until my Monday and I get home late that day. I’m HOPING to find a decent quality copy of the episode but not holding my breath. y’know. I have the misfortune of having a work Christmas party in the afternoon/evening, too, and that timing is rotten as always… Also, we’re likely to be sleeping when even the preview clips are uploaded. Which is brutally unfair. 😄

I promise to upload anything and everything when I’m able to, but yeah, I’m certain others will link and upload it before I can this time round, sorry!

So I was panicking today because I’m terrified I’m going to fail my law school classes and also my anxiety is really bad so I called Mikel. And after 10 minutes of me freaking out to him and telling him I’m going insane with the amount of studying I’ve been doing, he tells me that I always freak out and I always do well so he’s glad I’m getting the freak out part out of the way so that I can do well. He then proceeded to sing to me for 30 minutes and let me tell you, homeboy is tone deaf haha but he kept going because I was laughing so hard. At the end of it he told me that his goal was to hear me laugh as much as possible. And you guys, I have never had someone in my life who loves me so much. He’s is the best person I have ever known. I love him more than the air I breathe. I am so lucky.