i love these nerds

4

I would sell my soul to Hades for Kassandra 

end of summer (now I know)

Obviously a song about lost love. That’s a common theme in TFB songs. It starts off with some strumming on the guitar and a little melody ( I think it’s played on the the calimba, correct me if I’m wrong) that makes your heart sink and sets a very nostalgic mood, you can imagine Brian sitting at the beach and watching the sunset while thinking about last summer.

The first lines are “Crystal Ball, crystal clear. I am far away from here” - Brian might be talking about a future (crystal ball as a symbol for looking into the future) and that it seems pretty clear to him. Now this line seems kinda odd to me, since the whole song is basically about the past and this one particular summer. Maybe he hopes for a brighter future, because right now everything seems meaningless. Maybe he even hopes for a second chance. “Next time I know what I gotta do” We don’t exactly know what happened but it left him feeling like he deserves the pain that he is going through: “In my mind, a little nervous, ‘cause in a weird way I deserve this.” Afterwards his thoughts seem to run faster than his words, the sentences seem choppy and he interrupts himself in the process of remembering. Because he really doesn’t want to remember but something within himself forces him to. He is certain that he is to blame for losing this person he sings about, in whatever way of losing that might be.

He is mad at himself, because he only now realizes what he should have done, and now he can’t turn back time.

For the next part I’m really missing the context. “Your long hair, I comb it with my fingers while we wait, I will love you until my hair falls out or turns all grey.” What do they wait for? If he’s losing the other person it could be about dying, or just moving away. Regardless to that, the protagonist won’t stop loving this person, even if they’re gone. I do see parallels to some other TFB songs where Brian mentions that he wants to grow old together with his significant other.

“You sleep, I sleep, watch TV, like tea leaves. Play video games, it’s all the same, all I do negatively affects my brain. But I deserve it and you deserve it too.” They wait for something, but in the back of their head, they know that there won’t be a good fortune, which is why everything has negative affects on their psyche. Reading tea leaves is another method, like the crystal ball in the beginning, of looking into the future. The teller desperately searches for something good to happen, for a miracle that makes everything okay again. Also it is the first time he mentions, that he’s not the only one to blame, in fact they are both to blame for what happened to them.

In conclusion “End of summer” is a very emotional song about losing someone close. It’s filled with nostalgia, dread, regret and self-loathing over one’s mistakes. TFB are back at it again with the overly specific and personal lyrics that we all love.

There were literally no doors or hallways behind Kousuke when he called over Shin ae at work. 

Which means this is the only explanation for how he was standing:

Kousuke [walking over from wherever he was]: Oh god there she is. fuck–quick, look cool. channel your inner Bucci model [strikes a pose] Okay *clears throat*

i knew in the 2nd grade that standardized testing was bullshit. harry potter book 4 had just come out and i was at a good part. harry had just found out someone put his name into the goblet of fire.

during the standardized test, we were allowed to keep a post-test book on our desk. i diligently got started on part 1: english. at the time, all of the answers went on the same sheet, but all of the questions were in different booklets. so i finish all my english questions, read in my extra time, and then it’s part 2: math.

i realize i have answered all of my english questions on the math portion of the answer sheet. at first, annoyed but undeterred, i’m like. okay great i gotta erase every bubble. but i get bored around question 5 of doing this because… like… harry potter is sitting on my desk and i could just give them the wrong answers. so i answer maybe 10 whole questions in the math portion, copy the english answers over to where they actually belong, and then crack open the book and call it a day.

i obviously failed. this is the real life, not a movie. my parents were called in. i had scored in the lowest percentile. i was bad at math. i was concerningly bad at math. i could have done better just guessing than how i did with the english answers. 

if this was just a funny story, someone would ask me “why did you do so badly when you usually get fairly average grades” and i would have said “i wanted to read harry potter, not take this stupid test.” but it’s the real life, and nobody asked. instead, i was branded stupid and bad at math. i got placed in a lower math than i needed to be in; got bored, stopped paying attention. knew i was in the “worst at math” group, started saying “i’m bad at math” and 100% stopped trying because the further i fell behind, the worse i got. through the rest of my academic career - until senior year in high school, i never got above a c on a math test, because i was “just bad” at math.

i had undiagnosed adhd. the only reason i know now i have adhd is because at 22 years old, i finally went to a therapist, who effectively said, “are you kidding me you have the most obvious case of attention deficit i’ve ever seen.”

but nobody had been looking. my one test grade had given teachers permission to not look, because, obviously, i was bad at math. the one time i got 100% on a math test - that one time in senior year - i remember my math teacher looking at it and saying “it’s clear that if you just focused, you could do the work.”

in college i’d take a math class and i actually “just focused” for the first time in my life - meaning i treated math as a challenge, but one i could overcome with the skills i’d learned all on my own, through constant work and practice. i got the highest grade in my class. i still think i’m bad at math. 

which makes me wonder: how many people got fucked over because of something stupid like “i was too preoccupied with harry potter”. who had nobody looking out for them. who slipped under the radar because - come on, aren’t some people just bad at things?

Wow. It’s like people don’t know how to save up money toward something they want but is too expensive for their weekly/bi-weekly/monthly budget. Also, if you’re a child/teen who can’t afford the Cloak clothing, I’m sorry. You guys have it tougher than most but holidays are right around the corner though, there’s hope yet.

vimeo

“And he’s married. To me. And i will cut you, alright?”

“I don’t know, it’s love at first sight, but not first, so now”