i just want to be in a good mood for dnd tonight

Surgeon with benefits

Context: our campaign takes place on an island in the middle of the sea. My players have a a pet goblin as a companion. Along the adventure, said goblin had his leg torn off. The Dragonborn Rogue, Banryu, rushes him to the only surgeon on the island to replace his leg. I had written the surgeon to be a really mean, scarred up woman with an attitude. It was supposed to deter the players from abusing her as a free healing station but of course nothing goes as planned.

Banryu: excuse me, can you please put a leg on my buddy here? He really needs the help.

Surgeon: I could but it won’t be cheap. Several hundred gold for a fancy prosthetic.

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Banryu(OOC): Hell no, I am not going to spend that much on a prosthetic. I want to see if I can charm her to lower the price.

Me (DM): Okay, roll me some charisma, lizard man.

*natural 20*, the table is in utter silence as I smile evilly

Me (DM): the woman adjusts her glasses and for the first time truly sees you. The way the flayed goblin face covers you, your dark and brooding aura. She is utterly smitten with you!

Surgeon: my goodness, now that I get a better grasp of the situation, I can definitely do you a solid, handsome.

Me (DM): she pulls out a jar from under the table. Inside is what looks like a pickled hound leg.

Surgeon: I have this here leg I took from the dog that attacked me and gave me my scars. -she proceeds to sew and suture the hound leg to the goblin, flawlessly attaching the limb good as new- Oi, Colbren (the local weapons vendor), I found me a man!

Colbren: Ye gonna marry this one? I’ll file the marriage forms for ye tomorrow.

Fighter(OOC): dude, you’re gonna have to go back and give her the D.

Banryu(OOC): Hell No.

Druid(OOC): we are NOT missing out on the only healer on this island because you don’t want to consummate the marriage so buckle up, you’re gonna see her tonight

Druid: listen, uh, lady… we’re gonna just take your husband here and we’ll be back. And he’ll definitely be in the mood.

Me(DM): she waves happily at you as her dream of finally becoming an honest woman is being fulfilled.