i didn't even put in all the ones i collected by the end of it

AU MASTER LIST

So here is a bunch of AU’s that I’ve collected over…. a long time. Enjoy

Awkward Meetings

  • I broke your nose in a mosh pit, sorry
  • I hit you with my car and was the only one to visit you in the hospital, this is sort of awkward, are you okay?
  • You’re getting chased by the police and you just jumped in my car and yelled drive, wtf man
  • You just punched me in the face while gesturing wildly to a friend, your friend can’t stop laughing and im too shocked to respond to your apologies
  • You laughed in a restaurant, but your laugh is really weird and I thought you were choking so I’m awkwardly humping you while attempting to perform the Heimlich manoeuvre and why isn’t this working, you’re just choking harder now this is aweful
  • We met on a Sunday morning, both doing our walk of shame
  • I get really sick on roller-coasters and you are sitting in front of me, im so sorry
  • You’re the bastard who keeps parking in front of my house and you just caught me drawing a dick on your window with a permanent marker… ugh, oops.
  • I work at a department store and if you take out and unfold another fucking shirt and just leave it, I’m going to fucking shove it down your throat
  • You broke into my apartment drunk thinking it was your friends place and I should call the cops by my cat likes you so????
  • You’re my new dealer and you just friended me on Facebook and idk how to react to that
  • You saw me reading the same book you are and now we are arguing about the motives of the antagonist
  • This is a five-hour-long plane ride, we’re sitting together and  you’re deathly afraid of flying. 
  • I got into a cab to find someone already inside
  • You thought I was your friend/sister
  • Holy shit, im in the wrong car.
  • I was walking by a roller coaster and your shoe flew off and hit me in the head and now I’m on the floor trying not to fall unconscious.
  • It’s 2am and I’m drunk and I need some salt for my fries and I know your awake so OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR
  • You fell asleep on me in the subway and I should probably wake you up and its my stop next stop but it’s okay, I can always just catch the subway back…
  • I know nothing about camping and all my friends left me at the site. Please, help me, I think I just heard a bear
  • This has been a shitty week and you just grabbed the last box of my favourite comfort food from the shelf, do you really want to fight me rn?
  • We met in a movie theatre and now you’re clinging to me because your terrified and I’m okay with that because it means I get your popcorn.
  • You had a party and I got really drunk and stole your microwave, so now I’m at your place and your super hungover so here, I made breakfast?

Neighbour/Roomate

  • The guy living below me has a really loud alarm clock that always wakes me up at the crack of dawn
  • I went to investigate a scream and found my neighbour standing on a chair to avoid a rat/mouse/cricket (etc.)
  • My neighbour has a really squeaky bed and my bedroom is below theirs
  • You keep stealing my doormat and HAH, I’ve got you this time thief!
  • The apartment above me has left their tap on or something and water is leaking through my ceiling
  • My neighbour’s sibling got the wrong house number and barged into my apartment on accident.
  • My roommate keeps stealing my coffee so now I make extra 
  • You’re my new neighbour and wow man, you have some really weird habits.
  • You’re my neighbour and you are stealing my wifi to watch porn and can you not?
  • You locked yourself outside of your apartment and there’s a storm rolling in and I pity you so please come into my apartment I’ll make you hot chocolate?
  • I heard you singing at 3 am and joined in and now you’re at my door and wtf mate I think your drunk but your voice is really nice so?
  • I just set the fire alarm in our building off again… sorry. I know its like the fourth time this week…
  • You keep mowing your lawn when I’m trying to sleep and seriously FUCK YOU
  • My new neighbour is really hot and wow I didn’t even like women until now? And now she is in the garden planting flowers in her bikini wow… im in too deep
  • It’s 3 am and you’re blasting off classic rock at full volume and your music taste might be awesome but soME PEOPLE are trying to sLEEP
  • We’ve never met but we shower at the same time and our showers are on opposite sides of the same apartment wall so sometimes we start duets?

Pets

  • I’m out walking and my dog started chasing your dog. 
  • My cat/dog ran away and you just found it but refuse to accept the reward. 
  • We are neighbours and your cat got my cat pregnant… so, wanna raise this little kitty family?
  • My pet tarantula/snake (etc) escaped and I forgot to warn the guy below me who is terrified of snakes/spiders
  • I need you to pet sit my pet for a while and I forgot to mention it’s a snake, the mice are in the freezer. Thanks, bye
  • My cat really hates you cat and that’s the third time this week I’ve had to pry them apart.
  • My cat keeps breaking into your apartment and it ate all your plants… dinner to make up for it?
  • My cat sneaked out on the balcony and into your open window and he has this habit of destroying furniture and pissing everywhere so I followed him inside and you cam home earlier than I expected and found me in the middle of your living room and honestly I’m not a burglar
  • Your dog likes me a thousand times better than she likes your partner and sorry not sorry I love this dog
  • You were walking your dog when you found me passed out on a park bench and thank you for waking me up and buying coffee instead of stealing my wallet

Music

  • I’m on a bus and wow, you’re singing really loudly and everyone is giving you weird looks, hey bud, tone it down, also great choice in music
  • You play Double Bass/Cello and I play 1st chair Violin and we keep making eye contact and damn your super cute.
  • You play in an orchestra and I love these songs so much, plus you’re really cute. Shit man, you’ll never notice me in the huge crowd…
  • Music is kinda illegal and my friend just died and apparently he wrote music and wow I want to know what it sounds like and to play it at his funeral but I don’t know how to. You’re a well-known music dealer, do you happen to understand these notes? Can you help me?
  • I tried to act cool at this concert and I thought I was leaning on a wall but apparently it was a speaker and now it’s on the ground in pieces and everyone’s glaring at me… sorry?

Supernatural

  • I’m a wizard and I just accidently apparated into your house. Oops.
  • I died over 2000 years ago and you’ve been dead for like 2 hours, man, damn it now I have to explain this shit to you. Great.
  • I’m immortal and you’re mortal and I don’t know how to explain this to you and soon enough you’re going to realise that I’m not aging… shiiittt
  • You’re a greek god and I’m the roman counterpart. 
  • I’m a ghost and your alive and I think I’m in love with you…. Fuck. 
  • You’re a faun and I’m a Satry
  • I’m half demon and people often judge me based on my looks, but your blind and wow you actually like me? 
  • I’m a time traveller and I went back in time and wow I think I’m in love with you, fuck this isn’t good, I just faked being George Washington… wait what? George Washington doesn’t exist here? Shit… I actually am George Washington.
  • I’m a writer and your my character and wtf how the heck did you just literally climb out of my first draft? 
  • I’m a werewolf but I don’t want to tell you because my wolf form might be that really small chihuahua you keep mentioning you see when I go out…
  • I’m an android and you’re a human and wow what is that warmth I feel when I see you?
  • I’m a homesick telepath and you’re the poor soul who is receiving all these emotions, sorry
  • Somehow I’m in your body and you’re in mine and shit man being this close to the ground is fucked up.
  • I’m a genie an d you rubbed my lamp so congrats you get three wishes but you can’t seem to think of shit and why the fuck do I have to be stuck with you? Hurry up and think of some wishes okay?
  • I was an awful angel and as punishment I have to be your guardian angel and wow your super cute and nice but I still hate you
  • You keep having strange dreams that turn out to be us in a past life and you’re determined to fine me again but in this life I’m already dead.
  • We live in the year 3090, you’re a scientist and I’m your assistant. Unfortunately and experiment goes wrong and I die. Now you’re trying to put my brain into a robot but its not the same
  • I’m a vampire and I have a moment of weakness, you’re nearby and lets just say it doesn’t end well
  • I’m a dragon and you’re a really hot prince, that’s right, they locked up the wrong royalty.
  • You’re a pirate and I’m a siren and woah… are you asexual? That’s so cool, hey wait, don’t go I just want to talk
  • Your mirror is a doorway into my dimension and I can see everything…. 
  • Listen I am genetically modified and you WILL let me hide in your house
  • Ok, so I panicked and kissed this human so he wouldn’t drown. And I know you don’t want me to keep him, and we can’t let him leave if he knows about us mere people so what do you want to do?

School/College

  • I just got partnered with you in dance class and I can’t dance for shit
  • You’re my science lab partner and how the fuck did you just explode that beaker?
  • I’m an art student and you just found my sketchbook and you’re going through it. Shit man can you give that back, I don’t care how good you think they are just don’t turn that page…
  • You’re the school dork and I’m the school jock and fuck you can see where this is going
  • We are the only two kids who ride this school bus, maybe we should carpool?
  • I thought you were my roomies new boyfriend so I invited you in but your actually the RA of the dorm and now you think I want to have sex with you
  • I accidently flooded the laundry room and you really need to do laundry
  • You’re sitting in my seat in this lecture and who even are you? I’ve never seen you before… wait what, stop checking me out!
  • We argued so much during a class discussion that we both got kicked out and we’re still arguing outside the class
  • You left your USB in the library computer and I had to go through your files to figure out who you are and in the end I read the entirety of this book you’re working on and wow you’re really good?
  • I’m a traditional painter who has to take a basic Photoshop class, you’re a graphic design major sitting next to me and getting sucked into helping me out because Im so shitty at this
  • My pottery bowl exploded in the kiln and I feel like a failure, you found me crying about it in the hallway and are now trying to comfort me and your sweater is really soft wow sorry
  • You and your friends have been playing the penis game in the library for the last five minutes and none of you have gotten above a quiet yell and fuck it I’m trying to study over her so fuck you I’m going to put an end to this game by winning 
  • We are both teachers and at the end of the year we compare how many gifts we’ve received from student and you’ve won for the past three years
  • Romeo and Juliet of the math and English departments 
  • I want to get along with you roomie… but I like star wars… and you like star trek… this isn’t going to work.
  • I usually talk to my friends through morse code in class but… apparently you know morse too… and now you know I think your butt is cute
  • I got cursed and turned into an animal and taken to the shelter and now I’m being adopted by someone who is really hot OH FUCKING NO

Near Death Experiences

  • Wow I was just in a fatal accident and who the hell are you? What is this I’m I dying? Wait no, I don’t want this, how do I get out of it? A deal you say, I’ll take it.
  • You’re an executioner and I’m about to be executed but you can’t seem to run the guillotine, wait what, why are we running away, man you’re my favourite executioner
  • Our plane/boat crashed and now it’s just us on this island. 
  • I just took a super dangerous job and your trying to talk me out of it, but we really need the money
  • It’s the middle of a war and I’m on a ship that you’re ship just torpedoed. Now I’m a prisoner and wow why can’t I feel my legs. I’m not cooperating until I can feel them again. What the fuck do you mean I’m paralysed?
  • I’m addicted to ____ (drugs/alcohol etc) and you found me in an alleyway due to after effects of my addiction (beat up, overdose etc) and decide to take me in.
  • I sold my soul to bring you back to life and I don’t have long left please make this time count

Mistaken and Secret Identities

  • I’m  a thief/hacker/murder and you’ve found out my identity and have been bugging me for days to take you on as your partner
  • I’m a superhero and you want to be like me but in doing so become a supervillain, what do you mean you don’t understand why I’m punching you?
  • I’m a superhero, you’re a supervillain, but we don’t know each other’s identities and we are actually best friends
  • I’m runaway royalty and you’re a commoner, fuck I’m so screwed I need your help, I’ll explain later
  • You think I’m a celebrity and you’re talking too much for me to explain I am defintely not… that dude. What was his name again?
  • You’re a superhero and I’m your best friend and what the fuck man? Why the hell didn’t you tell me? If you had maybe I would be fucking caught with this stupid ass monologue-ing villain
  • I have a very cute neighbour and very thin walls and one day I call you and err… your moans are very synchronised with my neighbour's…
  • I’m a superhero and you’re a supervillain and I saw you visiting kids at the children’s hospital and letting them act like they defeated you and now it’s really hard to punch you in the face

Profession Based

  • Your my mailman and I can’t help but notice that you linger at my door slightly longer than you need to ever since you saw me that one time. Do you want to come inside?
  • I’m a private detective and your my client and fuck man you’re in some deep shit
  • You’re a protester and I’m a police officer. Seriously can you please calm down a little bit, this is my job not my  beliefs.
  • I’m a make-up artist/hair stylist and I you’re an actor/model and are you flirting or???
  • You’re a celebrity and sorry mate, I have to take pictures to pay rent, I know its invasive seriously, sorry
  • You’re a store clerk and fuck, is that my ex? Can I please hide behind this counter?
  • You’re a lifeguard at my kid’s swimming competition and I fell in the pool with all my clothes on and you awkwardly tried to save me even though I didn’t need it.
  • You work at a pet store and I came in to look at tarantulas but somehow we lost the biggest one and its loose somewhere in the store and it really doesn’t help that you’re terrified of spiders
  • I’m a firefighter and you started a fire in your kitchen but you’re still flirting with me even though you’re not wearing pants and I’m carrying you down a ladder. Stop complimenting my muscles for fucks sake
  • We work at the same company and I kind of had a crush on you until I noticed that you’re the asshole stealing my lunch from the office fridge.
  • I’m a firefighter and you live near the station I work at and we talk/flirt with each other a lot. One day me and my team get called to put out a fire and it’s your home ablaze. You don’t make it.
  • I work at a fruit store and you come in almost every day and rearrange stuff on the shelves and then leave. Today you made the apples spell ‘call me’
  • It’s 2am and I was just trying to get home but I left my sunroof open all day and now there’s a squirrel in my car and it scared me and I drove into a pole - stop laughing! You’re a cop, aren’t you supposed to be helping?
  • You’re drunk and want my name tattooed on your ass.
  • You always bring your dates to the restaurant I wait at and now you’re here alone… you okay mate?

Winter Times

  • It’s snowing and I usually walk to work but that’s not happening, hey roomie, can you please drive me? Yes I know its 4am
  • I accidently gave all my winter clothes to charity over the summer and not its not so much summer, but I’m broke and hey… could you give me your old winter clothes… maybe?
  • I love the cold, but I promised to visit you for a good 4 months and wow, why did I do this? There isn’t snow here?
  • I don’t know you, but you just threw a snowball at my face, mate, its on.
  • I don’t know who the hell you are, but my roommate has someone over and It’s really cold outside…. Can I come in? Or like, have a blanket, or even a towel?

Old Friends

  • I knew you in high school and I ran into you at a renaissance fair wearing full knight regalia
  • I met you once when I was 12, we started a pen-pal relationship across the world and haven’t stopped even though we are a lot older now. 
  • You were my best friend when we were younger but your family moved to the other side of the world, and we haven’t talked in years. But now your back and wow how did you recognise me when I can’t even remember your name?

Fake Dating

  • I hired you to be my date for a wedding but your super cute, maybe we cannot fake-date? 
  • I’m fake dating you to have someone to vent to on family gatherings while also pissing off my conservative uncle that I never liked and wow… have your eyes always been this nice?
  • We’re both cosplayers and we somehow always manage to meet each other at cons dressed as a popular ship and people always want photos of us in compromising positions and so we always end up fake-dating the entire day but you’re actually really hot and I’m head over heels for you
  • My friend dragged me to this party and I just saw my ex, quick make out with me, I’ll pay you.

Miscellaneous

  • I’m blind and wow your voice is absolutely beautiful can you just keep talking? Forever? Please?
  • My younger sibling is besties with your sibling and even though we hate each other I guess we’ve got to start hanging out a little
  • We are both at a grocery store at am and you offered to arm wrestle me for the last box of cereal, its on!
  • You’re sleeping on my best friend’s couch while your house is being renovated and you have really weird habits like attempting to sing opera in the shower and you keep eating all my Nutigrain 
  • We bump into each other every Friday at the supermarket to buy the same ice-cream and maybe we should eat it together?
  • Our parents are dating and thank god I’m not the only one pissed off about this
  • I went to museum to get some inspiration and then I saw you staring at one of the paintings in awe and wow you just noticed me drawing you and this is awkward
  • I decide to take a shortcut home that involves crawling through a really tight hole in a fence and I end up getting stuck and you just happened to pass by and now you’re laughing at me
  • I took a bunch of free condoms from health services just because I could and they all fell out of my bag at once and now you’re staring at me weirdly
  • We are trapped in a bank during a robbery
  • Your country is trying to take over mine and I might be a little attracted to you and stop this it’s really hard to retaliate okay?
  • I was on my balcony and you started loudly quoting romeo and juliet at me
Disney Lyric Starters
  • [ Classic, modern, golden days, you name it, i got it. Feel free to change pronouns etc. Also this is a looong post]:
  • "Some day, my prince will come."
  • "Some day, we'll meet again."
  • "Some day when spring is here, we'll find our love anew."
  • "And soon you'll find you're dancing to the tune."
  • "There isn't any let up. I hear them calling, calling."
  • "Every time she/he'd find a minute, that's the time that they begin it."
  • "They always keep her/him hopping."
  • "She/He goes around in circles till she/he's very, very dizzy."
  • "They have stars in their eyes."
  • "Side by side with your loved one, you'll find enchantment here."
  • "The night will weave its magic spell when the one you love is near."
  • "This is the night, and the heavens are right."
  • "Look at this stuff, isn't it neat?"
  • "Wouldn't you think my collection's complete?"
  • "How many wonders can one cavern hold?"
  • "I want to be where the people are."
  • "I want to see, want to see 'em dancing."
  • "Flipping your fins, you don't get too far."
  • "What would I pay to spend a day warm on the sand?"
  • "Sick of swimming. Ready to stand."
  • "And I'm ready to know what the people know."
  • "When's it my turn?"
  • "I can see what's happening, and they don't have a clue."
  • "With all this romantic atmosphere, disaster's in the air."
  • "She'd turn away from me."
  • "He's holding back. He's hiding."
  • "Why won't he be the king I know he is, the king I see inside?"
  • "Love is where they are."
  • "If there's a prize for rotten judgement, I guess I've already won that."
  • "No man is worth the aggravation."
  • "Honey, we can see right through you."
  • "It's too cliche. I won't say I'm in love."
  • "I thought my heart had learned its lesson."
  • "You keep on denying who you are and how you're feeling."
  • "Get off my case. I won't say it!"
  • "I steal only what I can't afford."
  • "These guys don't appreciate I'm broke."
  • "I can take a hint, gotta face the facts. You're my only friend."
  • "I'd blame parents except he hasn't got 'em."
  • "Tell you all about it when I got the time!"
  • "I think I'll take a stroll around the block."
  • "Let's not be too hasty."
  • "They're quick, but I'm much faster."
  • "Barely even friends, then somebody bends unexpectedly."
  • "Both a little scared, neither one prepared."
  • "Finding you can change, learning you were wrong."
  • "Certain as the sun rising in the east."
  • "There's something sweet and almost kind."
  • "I wonder why I didn't see it there before."
  • "Who'd have ever thought that this could be?"
  • "True he's no "Prince Charming"..."
  • "Who'd have guessed they'd come together on their own?"
  • "We'll wait and see a few days more."
  • "What I love most about rivers is you can't step in the same river twice."
  • "To be safe, we lose our chance of knowing."
  • "Can I ignore that sound of distant drumming?"
  • "Is all my dreaming at an end?"
  • "For a long time we've been marching off to battle."
  • "Our aching feet aren't easy to ignore."
  • "Think of instead, a girl worth fighting for."
  • "I want her paler than the moon with eyes that shine like stars."
  • "It all depends on what she cooks like."
  • "Bet the local girls thought you were quite the charmer."
  • "Yet the only girl who'd love him is his mother."
  • "Whatever you do, I'll do it, too."
  • "Show me everything, and tell me how."
  • "It all means something, yet nothing to me."
  • "It's all so close, and yet so far."
  • "I wanna know. Can you show me?"
  • "I wanna know about these strangers like me."
  • "Why do I have this growing need to be beside her?"
  • "Come with me now to see my world."
  • "Don't you disrespect me, little man!"
  • "You're in my world now, not your world."
  • "And I got friends on the other side."
  • "Sit down on my table, put your minds at ease."
  • "I can read your future. I can change it around some, too."
  • "You come from two long lines of royalty."
  • "I'm a royal myself on my mother's side."
  • "Your lifestyle's high, but your funds are low."
  • "Mom and dad cut you off, huh, playboy?"
  • "You've been pushed around all your life."
  • "Won't you shake the poor sinner's hand?"
  • "I hope you're satisfied, but if you ain't, don't blame me!"
  • "All that time never even knowing just how blind I've been."
  • "At last I see the light, and it's like the fog has lifted."
  • "If she/he's here, it's crystal clear I'm where I'm meant to go."
  • "All at once everything is different now that I see you."
  • "Come on, let's go and play!"
  • "I never see you anymore."
  • "We used to be best buddies, and now we're not."
  • "I've started talking to the pictures on the walls."
  • "It gets a little lonely, all these empty rooms."
  • "People are asking where you've been."
  • "They say "Have courage," and I'm trying to."
  • "We only have each other."
  • "It's just you and me. What are we gonna do?"
  • "Okay, can I just say something crazy?"
  • "I love crazy."
  • "I've been searching my whole life to find my own place."
  • "I've never met someone who thinks so much like me."
  • "Say goodbye to the pain of the past."
  • "We don't have to feel it anymore."
  • "Can I say something even crazier?"
  • "I've been staring at the edge of the water for as long as I can remember."
  • "Every road leads back to the place I know where I cannot go."
  • "It calls me, and no one knows how far it goes."
  • "I can lead with pride. I can make us strong."
  • "I'll be satisfied if I play along."
  • "What is wrong with me?"
  • "But no one knows how deep it goes."
  • "If the wind on my sail on the sea stays behind me, one day I'll know how far I'll go."
  • "Now I know I can be happy as a clam because I'm beautiful, baby."
  • "Scrub the deck and make it look shiny."
  • "I just love free food."
  • "Ouch! What a terrible performance!"
  • "You don't swing it like you used to, man."
  • "Send your armies, but they'll never be enough."
  • "You try to be tough, but your armor's just not hard enough."
~The Types as Dreams I've Had~
  • INFP: There was going to be an anime about Michael Cera and I was so excited to watch it but it got cancelled to make way for this anime about a little girl who could turn into a packet of chips
  • ISFP: A skipping rope was being swung around in a pastel pink room. All of a sudden a tiny baby pug comes running out of nowhere and starts to jump the rope.
  • ESFP: There was a horrible mix up and I ended up with a sugar daddy. I was terrified but it turned out all I had to do was pour apple juice into his nostrils and I was a billionaire. He collected brooms.
  • ISFJ: I really wanted to make chocolate eclairs but no matter what I did I JUST COULDN'T FIND A MIXING BOWL. I searched my entire house, went to every store in town, drove across the entire state and checked in EVERY SINGLE BUILDING but I just COULDN'T FIND ONE. I was in actual tears and honestly I had lost my will to live. Then I woke up. As I pondered this peculiar dream, it hit me: you dON'T EVEN NEED A MIXING BOWL TO MAKE EFFING ECLAIRS
  • ESTJ: Luigi became president and for some reason he banned abortion so Mario broke into the white house and crucified him
  • ESFJ: I was working at a nursing home at the old people just woULD NOT STOP STARTING RAVES IT WAS SO FRUSTRATING
  • ENFJ: I dreamt of a world in which everyone was in a banana cult. Everyone wore banana costumes and everything was yellow. The buildings,the skies, the animals, the vehicles, the book covers, you name it, they were all bright banana yellow. Everyone ate only bananas. The music was simply one song that repeated " Banana is our lord. Banana is our saviour. Banana is good.". They discussed only bananas. There was no rebellion against this. There was a giant floating golden banana in the middle of the city. Everyday at 3 pm they bowed down to the banana and ten people had to sacrificing themselves to the great banana god, to prove their love and devotion. It was told that if this was not done the banana god would reveal his great wrath.
  • INFJ: I was Justin Beiber's new manager and he confessed to me that he was dating Kanye West. I didn't even know who that was but I told the media because I hated him. Justin got so angry that he sent me to get hanged so I ran away and lived in the forest and then I became friends with this tree spirit but I'm pretty sure he ended up strangling me to death with his magical roots.
  • ISTP: Everyone except me had these really cool auto tuned voices and I was so jealous that I stabbed them all in the throat.
  • ENFP: We were doing the beep test at school that day. I lined up at the starting line. The first beep resonated across the basket ball court. As I stretched out my legs to take the first step towards the painful and winding journey that was the beep test, my arms flung out behind me. I tried to move them down only to discover it was impossible, and before I knew it my legs were moving on their own. I was Naruto running across the court. I Naruto ran and Naruto ran, crossing the line far before the beep, Naruto running out the other side of the basket ball court. Naruto running out of the school grounds. Naruto running across the town. Naruto running across the state. Naruto running into the ocean. I Naruto ran right until the very last moment of my Naruto life.
  • Believe it.
  • ENTP: My sister was baking cookies and she was like " Don't open the oven they aren't ready yet!". I opened the oven anyway 'cause I'm a cool kid, and inside the cookies were wearing tiny bras and panties, putting on mascara, and when they saw me they blushed and screamed " iie! Hentai!"
  • ENTJ: I was an extremely successful drug dealer and I rode a Segway everywhere and wore light up shoes
  • ESTP: They were remaking Fergalicious but Fergie's arm fell off for some reason so they made me star in her place. I was so scared because I didn't know the rap lyrics or anything but when I was on the stage they suddenly came to me perfectly and suddenly no one liked Fergie anymore and they made fun of her for having one arm and they burned her house down and she died.
  • INTP: I was playing Mystic Messenger and Jumin Han went to France and 707 starter calling him Jumin Hon. I woke up crying.
  • INTJ: Some creepy isolated dude who lived on a farm would kidnap people who tried to get talk to him. He'd rip all their guts out and feed them to a small child he kept in a locker, and then he dressed up their gutless corpse and used it as a scarecrow for his farm.
  • ISTJ: I was at a museum with my grandma and she kept touching thINGS THAT SAID 'NO TOUCHING' AND GOING INTO AREAS THAT SAID 'NO ENTRY' AND SHE WOULDN'T LISTEN TO ME AND I ENDED UP CRYING
Roses

(Yes it’s Radmond fanfiction featuring two OOC boys probably) 


KO had been the one to find the first rose. He’d been cleaning up after the first official Plaza Prom, and had found the somewhat wilted flower laying on the punch table. He hadn’t thought much of it, really he only mentioned it to Rad and Enid because he felt sad that somebody had forgotten their flower. “I know if I’d gotten Mommy a fancy rose and she’d lost it, she’d be super upset about it!”, he explained, giving his two best friends the KO Puppy Eyes. 

That’s how Mr. Gar’s shop ended up having a vase (KO had made it himself out of macaroni, somehow…) with a much happier looking rose resting in a couple inches of water. Nobody questioned it, probably because nobody really cared, but the little addition seemed to brighten the shop a bit. KO was convinced someone would come in and recognize the flower, even though Rad insisted that nobody would remember “Some dumb flower” well enough to actually miss it to begin with. 

Keep reading

Bts mafia!au reaction: You find out/ they tell you about their real job

Notes : I’m a sucker for mafia!au and I might included a kingsman reference oops

Forgive my bad English please I’m not a native

Seokjin:

For a few weeks now you thought that seokjin was acting a bit weird: coming home late, disappearing a whole afternoon and avoiding your questions, talking quietly on the phone to make sure that you couldn’t heard what he was talking about.

So one night you decided to follow him, convinced that he was cheating on you. He walked straight into a back alley surrounded by warehouses. You adjusted the hood on your head before stepping into the dark area.

Someone them pulled you roughly towards them and you could feel a gun being pressed against your temple.

“ Who are you, and why are you following the boss”

Shaking and sobbing you couldn’t quite proceed who he was referring to. “ I don’t know what you are talking about… I was just following my boyfriend”

“Y/N ? Is that you?” You heard Seokjin say as he stepped out of the darkness. “ Let her go.” He ordered the man that was firmly holding on you.

“ Yes, sir” he whispered before disappearing.

“ Seokjin… what does all of this mean?” You asked shyly, barely looking at him.

“ You weren’t supposed to find out this way, I’m sorry. Y/N … I’m in the mafia and I didn’t know how to tell you. I was afraid that you would leave if you discovered the real me.” He answered, gently taking you into his arms.

Mouth agape you silently glared at him. After a short while you finally found the courage to speak. “ Seokjin, I would never leave you, trust me. But please let’s go home and talk about it, I don’t want you to hide anything from me.”

Yoongi:

You were searching for an official paper absolutely vital to you and you couldn’t find it anywhere. In your bedroom, on your desk, in the living room, it was nowhere to be found.

One last area remained unexplored though, yoongi’s office. You had never been to this room, assuming that yoongi deserves his own place to work in without being disturbed.

But right now he wasn’t home and you knew the timing was perfect. So you delicately opened the door and begin to search for your document. You were shuffling things on his desk when suddenly, after touching a golden lighter, the wall behind you disappeared and you found yourself facing a huge weapon collection: riffles, machine guns, grenades and knives. Astonished, you didn’t hear yoongi walking into his office behind you.

“Y/N, what are you doing here?”

Not wanting to beat around the bush, you said blankly.

“ Yoongi are you in the mafia?”

He sighed.

“ Yes, yes I am.”

You turned to him, your head full of questions and even if You wouldn’t admit it, a slight hint of fear.

“ Why didn’t you tell me ?”

He gulped and closed his eyes before looking right at you.

“ I didn’t want to get you involved in my activities, my world is fucked up, I acknowledge that. And I didn’t want to put you in any danger. I can’t loose you.”

Hoseok:

You were a detective, and a good. That’s why your boss decided to give the mission to infiltrate undercover the biggest gang in your city.

After a few months only, you had successfully earned the trust of many members and you were slowly rising to the top. Tonight, you were finally going to see the boss during the meeting.

When the boss arrived, you couldn’t believe your eyes, next to the boss was standing hoseok, your one and only boyfriend. He shoot a quick glance at you before returning his attention to a man talking on his left.

“ Who is he ?” You asked dumbfounded to the man sitting next to you, pointing at hoseok.

He seemed suprised by your question and answered in a low voice “ Since when have you been here seriously ? How come that you don’t know Hoseok, he’s like the gang’s best hitman.”

You looked at him again. You didn’t understand why he wasn’t mentioned in the files you had to study in order to enter the gang. At the end of the meeting, he came closer to you and slide a paper in your pocket. “MEET ME ON THE ROOF IN 10.” What you didn’t know though, was that hoseok knew about your job all along, and that he had purposely deleted everything about him in your computer.

Namjoon:

When namjoon got home tonight, he wasn’t expecting you to be here so early. He didn’t even have time to hide his shirt before you were all over him.

“Dear God, Namjoon are you hurt?”

You were panicking, frantically trying to identify the place of the wound. When you finished to undo his shirt, you realised that his chest and his abdomen were perfectly fine. You then took a step behind slowly lifting your head to meet his gaze.

“ That’s… not my blood” he avoided to look at you.

“ What happened?” You asked, shaking

He didn’t answer.

“ Namjoon are you… are you …” You couldn’t even finish what you were saying.

“Yes Y/N, I am.” It was unbelievable. Namjoon, your sweet and loving boyfriend. A man who would take you to the beach only to look at tiny crabs in the sand, was part of the mafia.

You had always suspected it, but you had hoped that it was just your imagination. But now that he had confirmed it, you didn’t know what to think anymore. He tried to take your hand in his but you pulled it out.

“ I- I need time to think, please leave me alone.” You declared before locking yourself in your room.

Jimin:

It was Friday night, you were going out in a club with a few of your friends. The music was loud and the air was thick. You didn’t really like clubs but your friends convinced you to go anyway. You were sitting on a bar stool, sipping your drink when something got your attention. People around you started to talk about mafia members being in the club tonight. Bored and not really having anything else to do, you glanced at the place where the members were supposed to be. You recognised a few men because you had seen their faces on the news before. That’s when you spotted him, sitting on a couch, his arms holding the shoulders of another woman. Jimin. He was in the middle of the band, smiling and laughing at what they were saying. You asked the people next to you about him and they confirmed that he was with them.

Angry and a little bit tipsy you stood up and walked to him.

“JIMIN WHAT THE FUCK?”

His face crumbled. He distanced himself from the woman and tried to calm you down.

“ That’s not what you’re thinking please Y/N Let me explain”

“ What are you going to explain? That you hid your real occupation from me ? That you are cheating on me? Save it, I don’t want to see you anymore.”

You started crying as you ran out of the club.

Originally posted by delightfullyfree95

Taehyung:

Today was your day off. Finally, after months of hard work you could enjoy being at home alone, chilling. You were sitting on your couch, watching TV while eating pizza when the news started. They were talking about the most powerful gang in the whole city and how they arrested a dozen of its members today. But the boss and some of his henchmen had managed to escape. Then, their pictures appeared on the screen and you almost choked on what you were eating when you recognised Taehyung among them. He was labelled as the “boss”. He was the gang member the whole city was afraid of. Did he really lie to you all along ? You figured out that he did. On TV they described him as dangerous and unpredictable, was it really the same man you had been dating for 2 years now ?

You waited for him to come home. Your eyes were puffy because of the tears. You still weren’t sure if you wanted to stay with him or not.

When he finally came back you were standing in front of the front door, arms crossed. He could feel that something was odd.

“ Did you see the news?”

“ I did” you answered dryly, firmly glaring at him.

He nodded.

“ You have 5 minutes to explain it all to me before I kick you out.”

He grinned slightly before sitting on a chair in your living room. 5 minutes weren’t going to be enough.

Originally posted by bangtantrashboys

Jungkook:

3am and jungkook was nowhere to be found, even though he had said he was going to be home by 11pm and you were starting to worry. You tried to call his friends but no one knew where he was and he wasn’t at work either. About one hour later you heard a knock on the door, you almost ran to open it , thinking that it was Jungkook coming back home. But when you opened the door you were greeted with the sight of jungkook, bruised and covered with blood. Two men were by his side, since he couldn’t walk by himself. You let them in, tears in your eyes due to your half dead boyfriend. Jungkook disappeared in your bedroom with one of then while the other one stayed with you.

“ I’m Taehyung, sorry that you have to witness this, the meeting turn bad today”

You didn’t understand what he was talking about, jungkook was a regular college student with a part time job, nothing more.

“ What meeting are you talking about ? Jungkook wasn’t supposed to work tonight.”

Taehyung looked at you with sad eyes

“ I see … He didn’t tell you, did he ? Jungkook is in the mafia and he’s the son of the boss, things like this might happen more often as time goes by”

You continued to talk with Taehyung until he and the other man left.

The next morning you went next to your bed to see jungkook, he was awake.

“ Good morning” he said simply.

“ Don’t good morning me , yesterday you came home half dead with people I don’t even know and moreover I found out that you’re in the mafia ?! What else are you hiding from me ?” You were genuinely angry at him

“ Those bastards outnumbered me, but you should have seen their faces, my injuries are scratches compared to theirs.”

He was trying to lighten the mood but you weren’t having any of it.

“ Is it too much to ask for a warning when you go somewhere where you can potentially be killed? I don’t want to come back home one day and find you dead on a sidewalk”

He caressed your cheek with his thumb.

“ Who do you think am I ? It takes way more to kill the infamous jeon jungkook”

witchoil  asked:

sending this as an ask so that you can reply at your leisure, but i'm really curious about how you feel about/take the line, "and I will not be the last of the Jedi." either from a storytelling/analytical perspective or even personal preference. to put it mildly, I struggle with it because it seems to undercut the otherwise coherent thematic reevaluation that happens in the third act of TLJ. less mildly, it makes me want to smack my face into the nearest flat surface.

I actually really loved that line. (The Last Jedi spoilers)

(as you already know, and forgive me for talking out loud to order my thoughts) the whole movie, director and Star Wars fan since childhood Rian Johnson is asking the audience really grossly meta questions about Star Wars as a collective intergenerational cultural experience. He’s asking the audience whether Star Wars has inveterate, unmovable qualities that it MUST have to BE Star Wars, asking the audience what their nostalgia means to them, asking the audience if Star Wars can be dynamic, or if their nostalgia makes it impossible to both enjoy Star Wars and be surprised by it. 

Rian Johnson is asking us if we’d be ok if we wanted to watch a movie that was more than just a rehash of the old, if this time the characters didn’t have their hands chopped off in the second movie, if the characters didn’t turn out to be secretly related, if there was no legacy, if it was more than just a collection of movie references to the original trilogy. He’s asking if our experience would be ruined if Luke Skywalker was a dynamic character and not a myth from the 70’s. Woud it be ruined if Star Wars didn’t have a lightsaber fight? (The Last Jedi does not  actually have a lightsaber-on-lightsaber fight - no two lightsabers physically strike each other in this movie!). Would Star Wars be ruined if Star Wars didn’t have any Jedi? Does Star Wars need the Force? What makes Star Wars work?

Ben Solo/Kylo Ren takes the metatextual stance of just throwing everything we know about Star Wars away. “Let the past die. Kill it if you have to. That’s the only way to become what you are meant to be. It’s time to let old things die. Snoke, Skywalker. The Sith, the Jedi, the Rebels… Let it all die.” Let our preconceptions about Star Wars die, let nostalgia and old ties die. out with the old, in with the new. A story must have surprises.

By the end of the movie, we see Ben Solo brought to his knees by nostalgia/realizing that nostalgia and the ties that bind him (and the audience to the Star Wars series) are important. “[Luke Skywalker and Han Solo] will always be with you,” he’s told. So, Ben’s burn-it-all-down answer is not exactly what Rian is looking for or entirely agrees with. A story must have connection, and nostalgia is one of the biggest selling points to Star Wars.

Specifically about the flawed concept of the Jedi and whether it belongs in Star Wars, we get Rian’s answer through the interactions between Rey, Luke and Yoda.

Keep reading

The seventh year boy’s dormitory is quieter than it has been for ages. Its four occupants sit in a circle on the floor in the middle of the four-poster beds, around a piece of weathered parchment. It’s been a hectic spring, and Remus is glad for the chance to sit with his friends now and chew on a familiar problem. 

“I can’t believe we’re leaving in a month and it’s not finished,” James says with a deep sigh.

Sirius sighs, too, only slightly mocking. “End of an era and nothing to show for it.” 

“It’s not incomplete,” Remus protests, nudging their Map with his socked toe. “It works. It’s perfect, except for that one glitch. But maybe the Room’s magic is just stronger than our Map’s.” The Room of Requirement had been the one thing the four of them hadn’t managed to make appear on their paper model of the Hogwarts castle. Remus privately held that if their numerous spells hadn’t worked before, nothing else would - that particular bit of the Map had exhausted all of their collective creativity. 

The four of them stare for another minute or so, until Peter says slowly, “Do you guys think the Room of Requirement would make a deal with us?” 

“What kind of deal?” James asks, looking at Peter with interest. One of Remus’ favorite things about their ringleader is the way his whole conveys focus - even his hair seems to be paying attention. 

“Well, what if we left the Map in there overnight, with the understanding that if it adds itself, we’ll leave it in there when we leave. That way, it can meet the needs of future students who want to sneak around like we’ve done,” Peter suggests, speaking as though he’s figuring it out as he speaks. 

“Worth a try,” Remus answers. “The Room is at least semi-sentient, right? It can read our thoughts if we ask for something, so it should be able to understand us asking for a trade.” 

Sirius cocks his head to the side. “How is that any different than asking it to add itself? If it were possible to put it on the Map, it would’ve had to do it when we asked.” 

Peter nods, chewing at his thumbnail. “It don’t know. I guess it doesn’t take anything in return any other time.” 

“I like the idea of leaving it, though, Peter,” Remus adds. “Done or not.” 

“Admitting defeat, Moony?” James teases, ruffling Remus’ hair. “We’ll get it.” 

“Eternal optimist,” Sirius says affectionately. “But Pete’s right. Whether we get the Room on it or not, we need to figure out how to pass it on. Are there any worthy rabble-rousers in your care, Prongs? A gift like this from the castle’s one and only Head Boy would go a long way.” 

James ignores the jab. “I don’t think so…can you lot think of anyone?” 

Before anyone can answer, a regal looking school owl appears at the tower window. Sirius gets up ungracefully to take the letter, opens it, and says dryly, “McGonagall knows we raided Filch’s files. She said it ‘speaks to our skill and determination to get past the man’ but we’ve got detention with her on Sunday anyway. I think she just wants us all together to say goodbye - all we’re doing is writing lines in her office.” 

But Remus is still caught up on the first part, and looks over at James to see if he’s thinking the same thing. He is, evidently, because he picks up the map from the center of the floor and says, “We might need even more skill and determination to sneak something in.” 

And Remus is grateful that even though the end of their Hogwarts career is near, nothing has really changed at all. 

It’s complicated (Tom Hiddleston x reader) Part ½

Requested by: @lilyrosebae

Notes: So I made a small change, instead of a little fight is a big fight. Sorry for that.

Warnings: 1 or 2 curse words, fluff, sorry but this might hurt.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-It’s been one year Hiddleston! One fucking year!

-I know! But that doesn’t mean we HAVE to go public now (y/n)!

Yep, this is the way you are spending your first anniversary… You and Tom have been fighting for almost an hour now, and what started as a calm discussion ended up as the biggest fight you’ve had.

You two have being dating for a year now and Tom insisted on keeping your relationship a secret. At first you understand but with time you didn’t took it so well.

Of course what Tom wanted was to keep you safe, you were only 21 years old and you just started your career as an actress, soon you became very famous, Tom didn’t wanted the press hunting you everywhere you go. He could hear in the news: “Tom Hiddleston is now dating the 21 year old actress (y/n-y/l/n), guess he’s now buying on the kids section”

Tom wanted to protect you, the one that healed his hart and soul. After the Taylor Swift fiasco he was very hurt, he stoped posting on his social media, and he was practically hidden all day.

When he met you, you soon became good friends, and you helped him get over his trauma, he started posting again and going out more often.

He loved you, deeply, and he wanted to keep you safe. But you really didn’t care about the press, you didn’t care about the hate comments, you just wanted to be with him every moment of the day, without acting just as friends when you were in public.

You actually started fearing he was ashamed of you, that he was the one with the problem, and that thought haunted you day and night.

Your anniversary began really great, Tom woke you up with a sweet kiss on your nose.

-Wake up sleeping beauty- you heard him whisper to your ear.

-Mmm? Yes love… Whatever you say- You said in your sleepy voice as you turned around and put the pillow over your head.

-Haha very funny (y/n), I’m serious baby get up-

When you opened your eyes you saw the bedroom filled with rose petals, heart shaped balloons and chocolates, and your handsome boyfriend in the pijamas you thought looked sexy on him, with his glasses on which completed the sexy look, he had a medium box with a red ribbon in his hands.

-Oh my God, Tom…- you where speechless.

-It’s not great but I tried- he said a little ashamed.

You got up and kissed him -It’s beautiful-

-And you haven’t opened your present, here love, I hope you like it-

You opened the box and inside there was a beautiful necklace that had a little bottle with a key inside it. There was also a note that said “for the one that holds the key to my heart, with all my love, Tom”. You almost laugh at how corny that sounded but you still loved it.

-Tom, I… this is gorgeous, thank you-

-For everything you’ve done for me you deserve even more, I love you-

-I love you to Tom, this is just perfect- You hugged him knowing he loves hugs.

-Ok now I shall give you my present- you giggled while you got a box from the closet. - Here you go-.

Tom grabbed the box and opened it carefully, inside was the complete collection of Indiana Jones movies, all of them autographed by Harrison Ford. Tom froze.

-(y/n) you… how did you… - he couldn’t speak so you interrupted.

-A friend of mine has a uncle who was roomates with one of his friends, really not a big deal- you giggled.

-I can’t believe you got this for me- Tom managed to say.

-The perfect man must have the perfect gift- you said and then you kissed him on the cheek.

-But I’m not perfect… This- he said holding the collection -This is-.

He leaned forward and kissed you.

-I love you- he whispered to your ear.

-I love you to- You whispered back.

You spent all day together, sadly, you acted as friends when you were in public. You went to the theatre, you had brunch together, and at night you two had the perfect plan, spend all night watching Disney movies and eating popcorn cuddling in the couch.

You where at the middle of the first movie (The Jungle Book) when you decided to ask him: - Babe… Tom-, he paused the picture, - Yes dear?- he said, you where very nervious about what you were about to say.

-Babe, you know.. I’ve being thinking… - You really didn’t know how to say it.

-Love it’s ok, tell me, is there something wrong?- Tom started getting worried.

-No, baby that’s not it- You cleared your throat.

-Well you know we have being dating for a year now, and I’m happy, but I was wondering… Well, I think it might be time for us to go public… What do you think?-

Tom’s eyes were wide open.

-Oh, really? I think things are ok the way they are right now-

Your heart was beating so fast you thought it would explode at any moment.

-Yeah, but I want to get to go on dates with my boyfriend, have romantic dinners with him, go see movies with him, without having to hide our relationship-

-I don’t know… I’m not sure-

-Why?! Why not?! Are you like ashamed of dating me?!- That was the question you wished you’d never asked.

-How could you say that (y/n)?! Of course not! It’s just that you are part of my private life, and I would like to keep it private!-

-Seriously?! God we’ve being over this! You cannot hide me forever Thomas! You have to stop hiding! You should know better than me that the minute you become famous you stop having a private life! I don’t want to hide this!- You didn’t even think of the words you said from here, the only thing you could think of is how angry you where at him.

-I know, but you have to understand that after what happened with Taylor… - In that moment you exploted.

-Jesus Thomas I can’t believe you still haven’t got over that, we’ve all had shity relationships, but that is no reason to start hiding everything from people who care about you! Have you even read the coments of your posts!? Your fans love you, and they are worried about you, they need to know you moved on!-

-It’s not that easy (y/n), I just need more time to… -

-How much time could you possibly need?! It’s being one year Hiddleston! One fucking year!

-I know! But that doesn’t mean we HAVE to go public now! What if we don’t go public at all? !

Tears started runing down your cheeks, you made a terrible decision.

-You know what?, if you want to keep hiding, go on, but I’m not hiding with you…-

-What do you mean?- Tom’s voice cracked.

-I… this is over Tom-

-What? No, (y/n)…-

-I’m sorry, I can’t keep hiding- You said as you grabbed your bag and head out of the house, you opened the door and looked back, all you saw was a shocked Tom, unable to say something to stop you from leaving…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Send message if you want to be tagged for the next part ❤️ pls don’t hate me.

Four times Kara didn't say she loved Lena (and one time she did)

Original work on Ao3. ENJOY!

●●●

i.

The first time Lena heard Kara say ‘I love you’ it wasn’t directly at her.

They were in the middle of yet another interview – or maybe it was the end, she kind of lost track of time around the bubbly blonde reporter – when Kara’s phone ringed and she excused herself to answer her sister’s call.

“Hey, Alex!” She had said with a smile, rolling her eyes at something her sister said back.

“I’m not bailing on you, I’ll be there in time, don’t worry!”

Lena tried her best to pretend she wasn’t eavesdropping even though Kara was right there in front of her, humming at Agent Danvers words.

“Try to relax, okay? I’m on my way.” Kara smiled affectionately, and Lena wanted to scream at the butterflies in her stomach to fucking get it together. “Bye, I love you!”

Lena quickly looked up at those words, heart beating fast and fucking butterflies making a fuss yet again.

While she and Lex had a great relationship growing up, always supporting and teasing each other over dreams and silly things, they rarely shared any affections. He used to ruffle her hair when she done something good or a smart move at chess, and she would touch and squeeze his arm when one of his crazy projects worked out without exploding his room.

The first and probably only time they said I love yous was right after Lionel’s death.

Kara said I love you to her sister like she meant every word of it, and like she wouldn’t stop saying that any time soon.

Kara’s words made Lena’s insides melt.

“Sorry about that,” Kara said shyly, hanging up. “We’re having dinner with my sister’s girlfriend’s family for the first time tonight. Our mom is meeting Maggie’s aunt and husband, and Alex is freaking out making sure everything looks perfect, so apparently I have to be there right now or I’m dead!”

Lena laughed and walked Kara to her office door, before they shared a brief but tight hug.

“Text me later to let me know Supergirl’s sister didn’t kill her.”

Kara blushed and nodded, “Bye, Lena.”

Lena stared at Kara as the blonde walked to the elevator, thinking about her fainting I love you and how Alex Danvers was lucky to hear those words everyday.

ii. 

Visiting the DEO base for the first time made Lena remember her first time in Disneyland right before Lex went away to college - Lillian’s last attempt to spend more time with her son and Lionel’s gift to Lena for her 12th birthday. 

Everything was magical.

She went there to sign the papers about Kara’s secret identity, but then somehow ended up helping Winn solve a cyber attack happening simultaneously all over the country after the surprise release of an alien malware used to collect informations about every alien related secret the government had.

It would take Winn and his team hours to solve the problem. With Lena’s help though, it took them two. 

Kara wrapped both arms around Lena and Winn’s shoulders as the whole base clapped and cheered over their success.

Even J'onn J'onnz’s lips turned upwards a tiny little.

After that it turned a common occurrance for Lena to visit DEO for professional reasons, weather to help Winn and his brilliant team with new algorithms, or Alex’s researches in the incredible base’s lab, or maybe only to watch Kara working out.

And she knows the last one it’s not professional, okay?

Don’t judge her.

Lena knew by now that Kara and Winn were best friends even before she came out as a superhero. She knew they bonded over working for Cat Grant the great Queen of All Media, and she admired both of them for putting up with all of Cat’s crazyness. 

Kara and Winn were like over excited puppies or maybe kindergarten partners in crime, and Lena was glad Kara had someone like him to be there for her no matter what.

Even if their closeness made Lena jealous as fuck sometimes.

But of course she couldn’t say that out loud. Lena and Kara were only friends. 

Sure, they hung out, had lunch or dinner together most days, were partners in game nights for the past couple of months, secretly texted each other about boring meets they had to attend, teased Maggie and Alex for being such a married couple already and Kara gave Lena the best back massages ever… but they only friends. 

And if Lena felt something for the blonde, that was entirely her own problem. She couldn’t force her feelings on someone else. 

Kara was such a lovely human being and her friendship with Winn was really a precious thing to see.

The three of them were once again in the lab, hunched over a table where Winn was trying to recreate Kara’s aunt special suit that prevented Astra and the others from the dangerous effects of kryptonite. 

Kara was quite happy with the possibility of not having to worry about the mineral in a fight, and Lena couldn’t say she wasn’t relived over the fact maybe she didn’t have to see Kara being carried to her sun bed still bleeding. 

She wished she could wipe away that memory. 

“I can’t believe it!” Winn said quietly, making Lena and Kara stop their completely serious thumb fight to look at him. “I’m a freaking genius… oh God, I’m a freaking genius!”

Kara was already smiling widely, “You did it?”

Winn raised his fists in the air, jumping up and down, laughing. “Gimme a Rocky Balboa song, baby, because I DID IT!”

Kara screamed and threw herself in Winn’s arms, holding onto him like a baby koala.

“I fucking love you, Winn! I love you! I love you!”

“Oh, I know! I know!" 

Lena wanted to stab the jealousy monster right in the eye.

She didn’t have time to dwell too much into it, though, becuse Winn and Kara were now looking at her with that twin glint in their eyes and… 

Oh no.

Lena was tackled to the ground before she could run, trapped in a messy group bear hug and giggling fits.

When Alex found them down there with raised eyebrows, the three of them screamed 'WE DID IT!’, before pulling her down too.

 iii.

Lena Luthor was a genius. 

Lena Luthor was the youngest CEO L-Corp had in its history. 

Lena Luthor was fucking scared to meet Eliza Danvers.

"You're pathetic, Luthor.” Maggie mumbled as they cut vegetables for the salad in Kara’s kitchen. 

Lena looked up to see Maggie’s annoying smirk.

“What are you talking about?” Lena asked, eyes now back to the baby carrots she was meticulously cutting. 

Maggie looked over her shoulder to where Alex and Kara were talking as they set up the table. When she turned her eyes back to Lena, she was smirking again. 

“You may look all calm and collected, but buying all these flowers arrangements and that expensive wine that probably costs more than my apartment kinda gives you away.” Maggie whispered. “Actually your devotion to those carrots and how you make heart eyes at Kara makes it even more obvious.”

Lens blushed but tried to act cool.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Right. And I didn’t fuck Alex on your office couch.”

Ew.

EW!

Lena’s hand slipped as she looked with widen eyes at the detective, face as red as the blood now dripping from her index finger all over the kitchen island.

“You and little Danvers were taking too damn long to make a good use of it.” Maggie shrugged as if it was nothing.

“MAGGIE!” She pointed the knife towards the detective.

“What’s happening here?”

“Lena, you're bleeding?”

In a blink Kara was right beside here, Lena’s hand in hers as she took the knife away from the CEO to give a better look at the cut.

“Margaret it’s what’s happening! They had sex on ou- on my office couch!”

Kara gasped as she looked at her sister and her girlfriend, Maggie laughing so hard she barely made any sound and Alex hiding her flushed face behind her hands, mortified. 

“Maggie, I can’t believe you!” Alex groaned.

“Lena’s meeting was taking too long!”

Before anything else could be said, they heard the doorbell ring. Kara glared at Alex as she still held Lena’s hand in hers, making some pressure over the wound to keep it from bleeding too much, and Alex took a deep breath as she moved to open the door.

Eliza was already smiling when the door opened, but the smile quickly turned into a frown when she noticed the tension. 

“Is something wrong?" 

"Lena cut her finger.” Kara quickly said.

“Oh dear…” Eliza quickly walked inside the apartment and approached the two of them, pushing Kara’s hand away and replacing her daughter’s hands with her own, looking at the cut. “It’s deep, but nothing serious. Kara, go grab the first aid kit.”

Kara was gone and back in a second. 

Eliza moved Lena to the couch as Alex and Maggie finished cleaning the kitchen island and preparing the food, Kara watching attentively as her mother patched up Lena’s finger. 

“There you go. All good.” Eliza said when she finished wrapping Lena’s finger in a Minions band aid. She smiled. “I’m Eliza Danvers, by the way.”

Lena gulped and looked up into the older woman’s eyes, suddenly feeling nervous yet again.

“Lena Luthor, ma'am.”

Kara giggled at her words and Lena felt very embarrassed.

“Only Eliza it’s fine. I was actually looking forward to meet you, Lena. Of course, under better circumstances." 

Lena looked surprised at Eliza.

Since Kara’s invitation to dinner to meet her adoptive mother last week, Lena had been nervous. She wasn’t used to meeting moms and this was Kara's mom.

"You were?”

“Kara talks so much about you, I felt like I knew you already!”

“Mom…” Kara whined, cheeks turning pink and looking away.

Lena heard Maggie and Alex giggling in the back like high school teenagers.

“She only said good thing, of course.” Eliza took Lena’s hands between her own and looked right into green eyes. “And I also would like to congratulate you on your public speech in the Congress about the new National Alien Immigration Law Center. That’s a very important step for aliens to come out of the shadows and seek our help. Hopefully more and more countries will follow our lead. I'm very proud of you, Lena.”

Lena felt her eyes stinging as she looked back at Eliza. In all her twenty five years of miserable life she never heard her own mother say such gentle words with that soft motherly tone. 

She took a deep breath and tried her best to prevent the tears from falling.

“Thank you, Eliza. Really.”

“Oh, come here!” Eliza opened her arms and pulled Lena into the warmest hug she’s ever felt - except Kara’s. Then she felt Kara hugging both of them, reaching for her mother over Lena’s shoulder to kiss Eliza’s cheek.

“I love you, mom.” She said softly.

“I love you, too, sweetie.”

Alex cleared her throat. 

“I love all of my girls!” Eliza said louder as they laughed.

iv. 

Maggie was a little shit. 

They all knew that.

And Lena would never forgive her for having sex on her own office couch before Lena even had the chance to maybe, one day in the future, make a good use of it with Kara. 

It was their couch!

But still, Maggie had Kara’s back and vice versa. 

Sometimes they went out to lunch only the two of them, when neither Lena or Alex had the time to tag along. They started to do yoga classes together, which Lena couldn’t really complain because Kara stretching her body was an amazing sight, before they moved to kick boxing. 

When Kara started to say fuck more often, Lena and Alex both agreed that that was probably the limit of things.

“You’d think I would be glad my little sister and girlfriend are getting along so well, but I kind of wish they hated each other right now.” Alex said as they watched Maggie and Kara pour the biggest glass of beer the alien bar had down their throats, trying to see who could drink faster over a stupid bet. 

“Kara thinks she’s turned into a badass.” James said, chuckling when Maggie and Kara finished their beers at the same time, the two of them burping loudly.

“For Christ’s sake…” Alex mumbled as they approached their table once again.

“Did you finish?” Lena asked Kara when the blonde sat back down by her side, wiping away the beer mustache the reporter had with a napkin. 

“Uhum!” Kara hummed and nodded quickly, her glasses sliding down her nose a little. “Maggie was teaching me some cool pick up lines!”

Alex glared at her girlfriend, who raised her hands in surrender.

“She might want to use some in future!" 

Lena pretended she didn’t see everybody looking at her with the corners of their eyes.

She knew they all thought she should make a move or something towards Kara. But why did it have to be her? 

If Kara felt anything for Lena, she would’ve said something by now. But Kara was as affectionate with Lena as with everybody else.

And she didn’t want to mess up their friendship. 

"I might!” Kara nodded quickly again, smiling.

“You should try it right now, little Danvers!”

Maggie, the little shit. 

Lena sighed as she prepared herself to see Kara find some bulky guy to practice her ridiculous pick up lines on, but the blonde only bit her bottom lip, looking around.

Then she turned to look at Lena.

“Hey, Lee! I may be Batman but you’re Robin my heart!" 

Kara’s cheeks were flushed from the drinks and Lena thought she looked beautiful. 

But all of their friends were making such a fools of themselves as they punched the table, laughing hard.

"Was it good?” Kara looked from Lena to Maggie, seeking for her master’s approval. 

“Try the Super ones!" 

Kara thought for a moment before she looked at Lena again, "Did I hit you with my heat vision? Because you’re on fire!”

Lena palmed her red cheeks as she too started to laugh at Kara’s words.

“Oh! I have another: I think your clothes are made of kryptonite, we have to get rid of them immediately!" 

"Okay!” Alex said as she clapped her hands. “I think that’s enough, let’s get this ladykiller home!" 

Alex helped Kara with her coat since the blonde was too drunk to put it on her own, and Lena grabbed Kara’s purse, following Alex and Maggie outside, as they supported the blonde’s heavy body to Lena’s car.

"Than you for our lessons, master. Did you think it worked?” Kara asked Maggie, the reporter’s arm still around her shoulders. 

“You’ll have to ask Lena later.” Maggie said with a smile. 

“Okay… I love you, Maggie.” Kara said softly, kissing Maggie’s cheek.

“I love you, too, baby Danvers.” Maggie closed the passanger’s door and winked at Lena over the roof is the car. “She’s all yours now, Luthor.”

Lena could only wish. 

+1.

Lena was getting used to hear Kara say ‘I love you’ to almost everyone by now.

She said it to Mon-El once after he got beaten up by some giant crazy alien that looked like a crocodile, putting himself between the Croc and a group of citizens, giving them time to run.

He was starting to learn to be a hero and a good Supergirl sidekick. When he didn’t spent time hitting on girls, that is, but Kara or Maggie would always slap the back of is neck as they told him to treat girls right, so Lena hoped he learned that too.

Kara often said 'I love you’ to J'onn. 

She ended calls with Clark with the same words.

Cat Grant visited her once at CatCo and guess what? 'You know I love you, Cat!’

She said it to Brad, her doorman when he helped with the grocerie bags.

She said it to Lena's doorman once for the same reason. 

And she said it to Bruce Wayne after an interview over the phone, but she insisted she didn’t mean it, it was just force of habit.

But she never said it to Lena.

Not even once.

Not even if just by the force of habit. 

And Lena shouldn’t feel hurt, but she did.

“Do you love me, Kara?” Lena finally asked one night.

They had been watching a movie on Alex and Maggie’s place as they waited for the couple to return with the food. Lena’s head was resting on Kara’s thigh on the couch, but apparently Kara had been so startled by the question she jumped, forcing Lena to sit up.

“W-what?” Kara asked nervously. “Why are you asking me that?”

Lena sighed.

“It’s just… you have this crazy habit of saying 'I love you’ to just about anyone!” She finally said, running her hands over her dark hair, frustrated. “You say it to Alex, you say it to Eliza, you say you love Clark before finishing your calls, you said it to Brad the doorman once. Even Mon-El got his declaration of love!”

Kara was opening and closing her mouth quickly, like a fish out of the sea.

“But…. that’s… that’s just… me, you know!”

Lena smiled sadly at that.

“I know. I do know. But you never told me. Not even over a phone call." 

Lena looked down at her hands, suddenly feeling very stupid to start this discussion.

"Look… let’s forget I said anything, okay?” She smiled but it didn’t sound funny. “I get it. It’s hard to say those words to a  Luthor and-”

“It’s not that.” Kara said just above a whisper. “I could never say I love you without making it sound something so much deeper than that.”

Lena looked up quickly, frowning at Kara’s words.

“What do you mean?”

“I wouldn’t be able to say I love you without wanting to make love to you.” Kara’s hands were shaking as she said that.

“I do like to say how much I appreciate having people I can trust and cherish in my life. I had no one. My planet was gone. And this was my second chance.” Kara took Lena’s hands between her own. “But meeting someone like you it’s a one time thing, Lena. Our friendship it’s something I would never risk losing.”

Lena felt Kara’s hands move to her cheeks.

“You don’t know how much I love you, Lena. How many times I had to force myself to keep the words inside. I love your smile… Rao, it feels like flying over the clouds and bathing in the first rays of sunshine. I love how green your eyes are. I love how I can read your humour through your eyebrows, and I love the way you clench your jaw when yore concentrating too hard on your work. I love your voice when you say my name and the sound of your laughter, I love your skin and how soft it is, it makes me crazy. I love how you love people, no matter where they’re from.”

Lena smiled as she wiped away relieved tears, because Kara finally said she loved her.

“I'm fucking in love with you, Lena.”

Even better. 

“I’m in love with you, too, but I hate you for taking too fucking long to tell me that!”

“Then I’ll have to say it everyday.” Kara smiled, before leaning in and covering Lena’s lips with her own in a slow but deep kiss.

They broke apart a few moments later, trying to catch their breath. 

“I love you. I love you. I love you…” Kara mumbled as she peppered kisses all over Lena’s face. 

The CEO smirked as she laid down on the couch.

“You know, I think Maggie’s couch it's so comfortable.”

Kara raised an eyebrow. “Lena, no…”

“Lena, yes.”

Then Lena yanked down the woman she loved and that loved her back for another hungry kiss.

Suck that, Maggie!

anonymous asked:

wait hold on... you mean dean REALLY gave castiel a mixtape with his favourite songs and ... that thing in 12x19 really happened?? i feel like it's fake, like it didn't happen :P the world is falling apart and i fell into the universe where the writers have the balls to follow through with destiel, but at what cost!?

Bad news, this actually happened.

Good news! They already killed Cas in front of Dean, made Dean react 10x what Sam did (and Sam was NOT HAPPY about this :P) and then left him to fall to his knees beside Cas in the mud so I mean it’s got to be anywhere but down from here. 

TBH I haven’t really processed that it happened either. I’m still at the stage where I was grimly accepting this would be the last shot we see of Dean n Cas together at the end of the show, and this exact image has been burned on my retinas since about the first time I ever stopped and thought, what what MIGHT happen at the end of the show? Now I’ve actually seen it it’s all slipped through my brain like fine sand and I haven’t put it all back together yet >.>

The mixtape was easier, it seemed like more of the same fuckery dialled up to… 13 (We already did Spinal Tap much earlier in the season - we’re past dialling up to 11 :P) I do feel like I need a proper run through the season collecting all the pieces because I feel like I’ve barely got anything coherent to say about the Destiel in it because it’s all so obvious and on the screen and went to an actual model of canon endgame Destiel that I have previously assumed would happen (but as the END end), and I’m like a GPS when you accidentally take a weird turning and end up in a field.

I mean. Without rewatching… They started us from Dean telling Cas he was their brother (speaking for him and Sam) and then had him and Cas working together to save Sam and it was cool because Sam wasn’t there to compare to and Cas was helping Dean, but THEN come 12x03, Cas decides to leave, and immediately we have the focus on Dean welcoming him to his table, and Sam being just an attachment when Dean runs after Cas when he leaves. Dean keeps in contact with Cas while he’s gone, Dean gets the weird back and forth with Cas when they meet up again, Dean gets the weird moment with Cas after the whole prison thing where he sits in the backseat with him and the camera sort of tips its head and squints at the fact they did that… And then we get to the good stuff where the season shifts to being REALLY REALLY about Cas… 

Here’s the anon above you:

And yep 12x10 was filled with the little connections where Dean was the one sulking at Cas but the one rushing into the cafe, the one snapping at Ishim and being concerned about Cas, while Sam is sitting crammed on the end of the bench that he barely fits on but he’s a part of this too dammit, he’s just learning his space in it too. And Dean is the one who tries calling Cas at the end, rushes off with him while Sam stays with Lily, and ends up in another highly charged confrontation where he represents humanity and human weakness to Cas which basically sums up all these previous encounters like it like 8x17 and 9x22… In an episode about sexual and romantic love between humans and angels. 

In 12x12 Dean pays extra attention to Cas when they meet him, distracts himself with aggressive over-helpfulness with the waitress on Cas’s behalf, and then when Cas is dying, is the one fretting and lurking over him and pretending it’s fine, seems to get the “i love you” and even if it’s not directed at him specifically, the camera DOES look directly at him and capture his reaction. And then the whole thing with the hand holding and clinging onto each other, earning several extra seconds clutching time compared to Sam and Cas - and yes Sam holds Cas’s hand and helps haul him up because they’re a team and a family and Sam cares, but Dean’s just thaaaat much more clingy.

And at some point he gives him a mixtape.

And 12x19 is a study in Sam being like, …. okay… how about a practical response? and Dean’s like !!?!? CAS!?!!  and it makes 12x10 look like a weaksauce character sketch in comparison :P 

And after all that quiet emphasis on Sam and Dean walking a similar side by side path watching Cas’s second half of the season nonsense and reacting to it and to each other reacting to it, Cas dies in front of Dean and Sam’s like, shit, the slightly more alarming antichrist than the last one we encountered was just born, brb going to see what new horrors await us, and Dean’s like, 404 CARING NOT FOUND as he slumps down beside Cas. 

Like… yeah. That happened. >.>

Remember in season 11 when Cas was possessed by Lucifer and Dean was sort of a wee bit more worried than Sam was? 

And pfft season 8 who?

Anyway idk what they’d plan to do from here, but if they stick with it, Dean’s going to be totalled and I don’t envy Sam’s job propping him up while trying to deal with the next great escalation of the drama :P If they bring back Cas immediately, Dean’s going to also need to have a very different reaction to Sam’s generic happy relief.

anonymous asked:

Can I get scenario/ headcanons for Akaashi, Yaku, & Kuroo of their crush singing some suggestive songs while they were practicing but she didn't seem to know, or care rather, that she was singing inappropriate songs out loud?? (You can pick the songs btw!!)

sure! this seems interesting lol plus finally some more haikyuu!! thanks honey bun :’) enjoy!

Akaashi:

> Everyone knows that he’s calm and collected pretty much every time anyone sees him. It’s just the way he is. He’s normally not one to show too much emotion unless he’s really getting into something. 

> It’s very hard to tell that he even has a crush on someone let alone know it’s on the person that drops by everyday to help out just because they can. The only person who knows is Bokuto and that’s only due to him watching his friends mannerisms around them because something would change ever so subtly.

> After a particularly exhausting practice one day, he would have zero tolerance for anything. He’s normally blunt but to a certain degree but at that time he wouldn’t hold back a single bit. And then he hears singing which makes him want to tell whoever it was to shut the hell up but 1. it was his crush and 2. they were singing something unusually suggestive wait what you want me to do WHAT

> He would stare. He’s dumbfounded from it all because if he heard them correctly the lyrics were, “Touch my body, put me on the floor. Wrestle me around, play with me some more. Touch my body, throw me on the bed. I just wanna make you feel like you never did.” and he’s not sure what to do anymore. He begins to think it over a bit and his teenage mind goes a little too far and suddenly he’s leaning against the wall with a pure red face.

> “Akaashi are you okay?” “I need a moment.” The moment was pretty much him still standing in front of the wall then asking why his crush was singing that song. They said they didn’t realize it and laughed at how embarrassed he got. He rushed away after that and never talked about it again.

the song lol

Originally posted by kikyoshirax

Yaku:

> Unlike Akaashi, he’s normally quick to have small outbursts (mostly with Lev) but he is a dependable, straightforward, and all around good guy to be around and he’s not afraid to show it fiercely.

> The entire team knows about his crush and tease him about it from time to time until he swings his leg around to kick the shit out of them. He’ll tell them to shut up but acts like it never really happened in the end. Around his crush he is nicer than to his team which leads to them complaining like children. He doesn’t understand this one bit.

> Yaku tends to help his crush whenever they need it because cleaning up after a bunch of sweaty boys isn’t the easiest task and actually kinda gross so he did the best he could to lend them a helping hand. 

> When he hears them singing when they’re cleaning one time he would honestly find it too cute and thinks they have a nice voice but the song seems odd. When he gives a closer listen he hears, “Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby? Let me know. Girl I’m gonna show you how to do it and we’ll start real slow. You just put your lips together and come real close. Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby? Here we go.” and honestly he’s real close to screeching.

> He wouldn’t even know what to do at first and just looks around at his other teammates a bit frantically but they don’t understand what’s so wrong with the song. It takes some longer than others to catch on to the meaning and they all burst into laughter. The shorter male would drag his hands down his face as he glances to his crush who doesn’t know what’s happening in the slightest. “Let’s just leave it that way-” He tells them with an embarrassed smile.

another one lmao

Originally posted by hinatas-shorts

Kuroo:

> He has the most laid back personality for sure but he always seems to have an underlining scheme, well, that’s how others perceive him at least. He normally just looks that way and doesn’t have a problem with people who think that of him.

> Not everyone knows about his crush, really. He doesn’t go around bragging about how he feels about this person but would gladly tell anyone he likes someone if they were to ask. He only trusts a few select people with the person’s name itself. As harsh as it sounds, some of his teammates really don’t know how to keep their mouths shut. 

> Whenever he can he’ll lend an extra helping hand to his crush whenever they need it and for whatever he can possibly do because he wants to look good in front of them plus, no one should have to do that stuff alone. 

> If his crush were to be singing an inappropriate song, he would catch it immediately. He listens to the lyrics and laughs as they go, “Cause I may be bad but I’m perfectly good at it! Sex in the air, I don’t care, I like the smell of it. Sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and whips excite me.

> Kuroo loses it and bursts into a laughing fit that goes on for several minutes. His crush, along with the rest of his team, is definitely confused but he explains that the song they were singing was so sexual and yet they had the most blank look on their face while singing it.

> He continues laughing, thoroughly embarrassing his crush thanks to it and they punch him lightly in the arm to get him to shut up. Once he’s finished he gives them a little smirk before starting to continue the lyrics, singing the rest of the chorus they had gotten halfway through before going farther with the song. He gives them a look and a little nudge to show that he wants them to continue with him. Kuroo finds it cute that they’re so embarrassed at first but after a few seconds they’re both screaming the lyrics and dancing around like idiots.

Originally posted by jolynecujo

the last one lmao

raptorsofthegalaxy  asked:

A idea just popped in my head and I wanted to tell you. Some wizard gets the idea to do like Grindelwald and kidnaps Graves to take his place. But they didn't expect Newt's animals to be so attached to Graves, like the Nundu who often takes naps on the couch in his office or the niffler that just hangs out in his coat pocket all the time.

That is a fantastic idea, thank you for sharing it! Hopefully you don’t mind that I’ve sort of run away with it a little.

There was no pinpointing when it started happening. Percival only knew things were amiss when it became too obvious to ignore. He was shopping, browsing the aisles in a meandering way and not in any rush to get back home. Newt was working on a new chapter of his book and very politely kicked him out. It wasn’t Percival’s fault that he couldn’t keep quiet, he really did try. He sat quietly on the sofa with some reports while Newt scribbled away and chewed his pen but when he read something so outrageous it was difficult not to sigh. The sofa wasn’t ideal for working on, his back hurt, his legs went numb so he had to shuffle around and stretch his legs. Sometimes he’d get himself a drink and being considerate he asked Newt who would hum at him or look up with a frown. Percival was only trying to be nice. But it seemed his generosity annoyed Newt more than helped him so they agreed that perhaps Percival should go do the weekly shop while Newt actually managed to get some work done.

If Percival had paid more attention he would have noticed the person following him through the aisles. But he was lost in his head, feeling utterly content as he compared cereal brands to figure out which one Newt would enjoy more. Whatever aisle he moved to the other person followed. They stayed at a distance, glancing at him while Percival merrily put ingredients for burger patties into his basket. He needed some oregano still. It was in a hidden corner of the shop, near the backdoor which was open to let in a cool breeze. Percival put his basket down to reach up for the box he needed. He was on his tiptoes when something clattered and the niffler who’d come along for a ride chattered away angrily. More clattering followed by an almighty crash. The stalker who’d rushed at Percival with the intent of bundling him out through the backdoor was sprawled on the ground and glaring up. There were shiny marbles all around him on the floor and the niffler hissing and spitting at having to sacrifice its hoard. With a mild smile Percival stepped over the stranger and tried to hide the niffler while muttering “so rude, I can’t believe you’d do that in public”.

Keep reading

half-light chapter 15/15

one /// two /// three /// four /// five  /// six /// seven /// eight /// nine /// ten /// eleven /// twelve /// thirteen /// fourteen

fifteen.

How do you know? Scully had asked him after the Boggs case (in the other place, not the place he thinks must be real). What’s real and what’s not, I mean.

She’d been reading a book and he’d been pretending to nap, and she’d said it, and it sounded like more entertainment then napping, so he’d scooted upright against the pillows, winced against the pain in his leg, and turned to look at her. I just know, he said.

She made a face, setting her book facedown in her lap. Okay, but how do you know?

(They sounded like the little girls, the Eves: how did you know what to do, he’d asked them when they’d dropped them off at the asylum, and they’d chorused, we just knew.)

I just do, he said. How do you know that everything I say is real isn’t?

Science, she said simply. (He could’ve asked about Boggs, but she’d made it clear yesterday, with the sudden stiff shape of her shoulders and the clipped way she said, It’s late, I have to go when he’d tried to get her to discuss it again. She didn’t want to talk about it. Fair, there was plenty he didn’t want to talk about.)

Okay, he said. Well, you have science, then. I have beliefs. I get a… feeling, and I know whether something is real or not.

Are you claiming to be psychic? she asked, raising an eyebrow, smirking. Is that how you knew Boggs wasn’t?

He smirked back. I didn’t say that. I said I just knew.

She nodded, waited a beat before opening her book again. He supposed that meant she was finished with the conversation.

She turned pages for a few minutes before saying, So it’s… wish fulfillment? If you want something to be true hard enough, then it will be?

That’s not what I said either, he said, slightly annoyed now.

Scully looked at him from over the top of the book. But you want to believe, she said, quietly.

The damn poster. He nodded, because he couldn’t exactly say no. I want to believe. So I do.

Keep reading

To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before [Klance au]

Before we get started let me point out some things, it’s obvi not gonna be the same as the book or movie, but the book and movie were really cute so I’m writing this now. Also, I apologize for my shitty spelling because autocorrect is a b, warning in advance for profanity, not in this section but still…

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0-

To put it simply, Keith wasn’t exactly a normal, everyday, stereotypical, highschool student. He stayed home a good amount of his time, when he want at school at least. He may spoke only to Shiro, Pidge, Adam, and Matt (sometimes Allura and Allura’s girlfriend Romelle)

Keith, to waste his free time, had as few hobbies. Hobbies like theorizing and gaming with Pidge and collecting a lot of things. He collected things like knives of all sorts, shells, rocks, photographs, and interesting things he found around. He also liked baking for some reason.

He kept everything he collected messily stored in drawers in his room, or piled into his desk. His desk was mainly clear though, because he needed to have enough space on his desk to write.

Pidge cashed Keith’s writings “love letters”, because they sort of were. But Keith didn’t like calling them “love letters”, they instead were affection filled rants on paper, dedicated to people from over the past few years that Keith may or may not have ended up in love with at some point in his life.

He hides them in the bottom of a basket he kept in his room that was filled with his dad’s old clothes, and Keith has never told anyone where they are kept, because what would they need to know? He makes sure to carefully place them in envelopes and write the addresses and hide them, then they’re done and he can move on with his “depressing emo life” as Pidge calls it.

When he writes, he pours everything he has, all of his being into the letters so that it’s all out of him and he can let go of the person, the guy, and stop being in love with him, because what’s the point?

Except that there’s one person, who Keith does not want to name (cough *Lance* cough) that head a new letter almost every three months and had had a letter dedicated to him since the end of elementary school. But Keith had been in love with other guys over that time, but that other just won’t stop. Because that stupid guy won’t stop doing things that reminds Keith each time why he loves him, but this guy has an on again off again girlfriend and a reputation, Keith doesn’t need that.

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Pure Seduction || Jungkook

[Chapter Eleven] [Prepare Yourselves]

Originally posted by yourpinkpill

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“Whose party even is this?” You questioned, slightly wobbling in your heels to keep up with Joy’s pace.

“Minjae-oppa’s,” she told you. “Don’t worry, I told him I’d be bringing a guest.”

You nodded your head, smoothing out your dress. Once again you were clad in a tight, short black dress with makeup up and your hair straight. You sported black heels rather than red ones but still wore red lipstick, a dark red one from the new lipstick line your company was working on.

Joy opened the door and the two of you entered. It was already a bit crowded but it didn’t really matter. You just wanted the night to be over with.

You could tell that the crowd Minjae ran with was the crowd Jungkook ran with as well as your own mutuals. Jungkook’s friends, BamBam and Yugyeom were there along with Mingyu. Your eyes spotted Jimin with Taehyung and some others.

You found Jungkook leaned against a breakfast bar talking to some people you didn’t recognize. His eyes landed on you and he smiled. You smiled back weakly, sending a wave. His smile broke your heart. Joy wished you luck before quickly leaving. Jungkook excused himself from his friends and walked over to you.

“I didn’t know you were going to be here,” Jungkook said.

You gave him a small smile. “Neither did I. It was a last minute kind of thing.”

“Well, you look very beautiful.”

Another stab to your heart. You simply forced a smile on your face. Your eyes wandered and landed on Joy, who looked very comfortable on Minjae’s lap. You hadn’t known that was a thing. It confused you, too. If she was happy with another guy, why did she care so much about you breaking Jungkook’s heart?

“I’ll be right back,” you said. “I’m gonna say hi to Jimin really quick.”

He nodded and you hurried to him. He was surprised when he saw you. “What are you doing here? I didn’t know you were coming,” he said.

“Neither did I. I need to talk to you.”

He excused himself from his friends and the two of you found a secluded corner to talk in. “Is something wrong?”

“I don’t know, maybe,” you sighed, running a hand through your hair. “It’s happening tonight. The last part of the plan.”

His eyes widened, “It’s happening tonight? Wow. So, why are you worried? Didn’t you want the whole thing to be over and done with?”

“Well, yeah, but that was before I actually got to know Jungkook. He’s actually really sweet and fun to be around.”

“Y/N, did you catch feelings for Jungkook?”

Another shaky sigh left your mouth. “I don’t know. I don’t think so. Maybe I did,” you said. “I’m so confused right now and nothing makes sense anymore.”

He put a hand on either one of your arms. “Look, I can’t tell you what to do but I still think you need to end whatever this is with Jungkook but in a nice way. Don’t be harsh. You clearly need some time to collect yourself,” he said. He gave you a tight hug, making you feel a bit better. “Good luck, kid.”

You took in a deep breath and nodded, thanking him before going back to Jungkook. “Hey, can we go outside and talk?” You asked.

He nodded. “Of course,” he said. The two of you made your way outside. It was still crowded but you and Jungkook found a secluded spot. “I like your lipstick, by the way.”

“I wore it for you.”

“What’s the name?”

You looked up at him. “Kiss Me,” you told him.

He chuckled. “Fitting,” he hummed.

“So, what are you waiting for? Kiss me.”

He smirked at your confidence before capturing your lips with his own. Your lips moved in sync for a bit but then everything felt so wrong. You were doing what Joy told you to do but it was wrong. Kissing you back was a boy who seemed to genuinely like you while you were just playing a game. You didn’t know how you felt and that wasn’t fair. While having these thoughts, you began to cry from all the emotions.

Jungkook pulled away after feeling some wetness on his own face. He was surprised to find you crying. “Y/N, what’s wrong?” He asked. “Why’re you crying?”

“I can’t do this anymore,” you cried, your voice cracking. You pushed him away and rushed back into the house while he called out your name.

Joy spotted you and quickly grabbed you. “Y/N, what’s going on? What happened?” She asked.

“What the hell?” Jungkook questioned. “You two know each other?”

“Y/N, are you okay?” Jimin asked, rushing over.

“I told you not to do it, Y/N,” Mingyu said. “Why would you go along with Joy’s awful plan?”

“Okay, someone needs to explain what the hell is going on,” Taehyung said.

Soon, you, Jungkook, Mingyu, Taehyung, Jimin, Joy, and Minjae were sat in the empty basement on couches, chairs, and the floor. Your mascara was smudged but you had finally stopped crying.

“I want Y/N’s side of the story first,” Taehyung said, basically mediating the whole thing.

“I got a text from Unnie a couple of weeks ago. She wanted me to seduce someone. I asked who and she told me Jungkook. I was confused at first but then she explained to me that he lead her on and broke her heart. She said it was a game he played and that she wanted my help to beat him at his own game,” you started, taking in another deep breath. “I’ve heard my fair share of stories about Jungkook. Even when I had never seen him in person my whole life, I still knew him. I eventually agreed. I thought it would be a good lesson for him to learn but I never knew it would spiral into this.”

Jimin gave you a supportive smile and patted your thigh. You continued. “She told me what to do and I listened. I did exactly what she told me to do at the club and that was the start of it. Jungkook and I bumped into each other a couple of times and he was nice and charming. I thought that was part of his game, like an act. Then, we went on that date. That’s when things started to really feel wrong. I couldn’t believe that he would go through all that trouble just to break my heart in the end. Unnie told me we had him right where we wanted him and I was supposed to break him tonight. It all just felt so wrong and I was so confused, I still am, and now we’re here.”

“What exactly did Joy tell you?” Taehyung asked. “About her and Kookie, that is.”

“She told me that they met at Fragrance. She said he was charming and mature for someone a year younger than her. She liked that about him. She told me that he flirted, took her out on a couple of dates, and then broke her heart by telling her he never liked her but pitied her or something like that,” you told him.

“What the actual fuck, Joy?” Jungkook questioned. He placed his head in his hands and rubbed his face. “Are you aware, Y/N, that everything Joy told you was a lie?”

You were surprised. You looked at Joy. She had tears forming in her eyes and she was biting her lip. “What? What are you talking about?”

“It’s true that we met at Fragrance and that I flirted with her and took her on some dates but I didn’t tell her any of that stuff. It wasn’t for nothing.”

“What really happened, then?” You asked, feeling confused.

“We were dating. She wasn’t just some random girl I wanted to have a fling with. I genuinely liked her,” he told you. “Up until she cheated on me. That’s when I ended things.”

You were already confused enough before but now your head was beginning to hurt. “Then, why did I do any of this?” You asked. You looked at Joy. “What was the point of this?!”

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I really am,” she said, some tears slipping from her eyes. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“Then why the fuck would you put her up to this and lie to her about it?” Jimin asked, clearly pissed.

“I liked Jungkook, I really did. The only problem was that I did it all to make someone else jealous. It worked and I cheated on Jungkook with him. He didn’t know Jungkook and I were dating. Anyway, I felt awful and Jungkook refused to forgive me. I thought that if Y/N broke his heart, what I did wouldn’t seem so bad anymore.”

“You’re crazy,” Taehyung told her. “I genuinely hope you know that.”

Jungkook let out a huff and stood up. “I need to go,” he said before leaving.

Mingyu looked at you. “Aren’t you gonna go after him?” He asked.

You shook your head. “No. Why would I?! He hates me and has every right to. Going after him would just be wrong of me,” you told him.

Jimin looked at you. “Come on, Y/N, I’ll take you home,” he said. You nodded and stood up.

“Y/N, wait!” Joy exclaimed.

“I have nothing to say to you,” you told her in a venomous tone. You and Jimin left after you apologized to Taehyung, Mingyu, and Minjae for the mess you caused.

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Um, if any of you support Pentagon, please look at my previous post. It’s a petition to keep E'Dawn in Pentagon because many “fans” are angry about him and Hyuna and want him gone. Thank you!

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Description: You’ve been asked to break the heartbreaker’s heart.

Chapter 1 // Chapter 2 // Chapter 3 // Chapter 4 // Chapter 5 // Chapter 6 // Chapter 7 // Chapter 8 // Chapter 9 // Chapter 10 // Chapter 11 // Chapter 12 (coming soon)

What You’ve Done (P8)

Warnings: mentions of abuse, language, mild violence, angst

see bottom for a/n and tags


Y/N continued to stare at the ceiling. She heard footsteps come closer to the bed she was laying on. Movement drew her eyes towards the figures, but she refused to look away from the water stain above her.

Something touched her briefly- her brain registered a hand- and threw her into panic mode. She swung her left fist into someone’s face, throwing all her strength and momentum from sitting up into it. Dean’s head jerked back a bit. She didn’t have to look at him to know that his nose was fractured, at the very least; the resounding crack! that had echoed throughout the room told her so.

“Fuck!” he sputtered. “Y/N-”

Her name in his mouth sparked something ugly inside her. She drew her other fist back and drove it towards his nose again. He grabbed at his nose, attempting to staunch the blood flow that had already begun to pour from it. She rolled off to the other side of the bed, checking to see she still had all her possessions. She spotted her knife, always carried in her boot, on the kitchen counter. Her core tensed at the thought of someone touching her. She felt sick. Sam noticed her eyes flicker towards the knife and stepped in front of her.

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SasuSaku Month - Day 6: Thank You || [Fanfic] Of Fights and Unexpected Events II

Title: Of Fights and Unexpected Events II

Rating: K/G

Notes: A continuation of yesterday’s story. There are some names of famous warlords from the Sengoku Era, if you know a bit about Japanese history, you’ll recognise them easily, if not, don’t worry, they’re not relevant for the plot. I hope you like it :)

Words: 2199

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OF FIGHTS AND UNEXPECTED EVENTS II


I’m having a date with Sasuke-kun today.

Ino glared through half closed eyes at the screen of her smartphone. Couldn’t that girl have thought it twice before sending her that type of text so early on a Sunday?

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makobunzz  asked:

hello. recently I read a post that stated "makoharu shippers just ship makoharu because it's easier to ship, since they are already bros and all. rinharu is better because its much more dynamic" of course, I completely disagree with this statement. anyways, my question is: why do YOU ship Makoharu? i'm really curious. and what are your thoughts on this statment? :) (also your blog is my favourite ily god bless)

Someone actually said that??? That’s so ridiculous I can’t believe it. Some people are so petty.

Anyways this is going to be a long makoharu post and it’s probably going to show up in the rh tag because you used the ship name in the ask so I’m sorry for anyone who doesn’t want to see this but here I go.

Oh gosh where do i even begin?? Because I could (and I have lmfao) written log makoharu analyses about single episodes ALONE. Honestly everything in this post is just skimming the top of the water so i guess I’ll just go over a few very big ones. I’ll start off small. 

I guess the smallest reason would just be looks they give each other.

I mean look at Makoto in this gif. Look at the way he admires Haru then laughs at his silliness and the look Haru gives Makoto back ahhh my heart can’t take it they’re just so sweet.

And then there’s this gif. The sparkles in their eyes. The absolute adoration Makoto has for Haru. The way Haru stares back in disbelief with the same sparkling expression. This definately reminds me of scenes in romance animes where they confess their love to each other.

AND THEN THIS PICTURE RIGHT HERE. Look at how sweetly Makoto is grasping Haru’s hand, his other hand mostly likely gripping around haru’s back. It’s such a sweet embrace and the once again we see Makoto giving Haru an adorning look as Haru stares back, wide eyed and just as equally blown away.

*Deep sigh* Now that THAT’s out of the way, rest my soul, I guess I’ll go completely out of order with the series and just go with the general topic of how much they care for each other.

Even now I don’t know where to start? Jealousy. I’ll start with jealousy. Many people like to say things like “Oh haru doesn’t care about makoto bluh bluh bluh’ and every time I bring up

This episode. I have written an entire makoharu post about this episode alone. Haru has never been one to dislike people just for befriending his friends or them doing other activities together, but as soon as someone tries taking MAKOTO from him then he becomes jealous and actually begins disliking the person.

Makoto is the only person in the series that we have seen make Haru act this way towards someone else. Makoto is HIS best friend and anyone who tries stealing him away is on his shit list. 

And Makoto on the same hand is canonically jealous over Haru too. I forget the episode (because I haven’t watched free! in so long I am sorry) but in season 2 makoto says something along the lines “Maybe I’m jealous of Rin” Because he wants to be the one to swim alongside Haru in a race. He wants to be able to swim with haru on his level.

MMMF actually before I move on i think it was either later that episode or the next episode where they DO race and haru ends up winning and Makoto is about to cry and Haru looks absolutely TERRIFIED because he would never want Makoto to cry and think about quitting swimming because it would break him (hold that thought too lmfaoo) But makoto laughs it off BECAUSE HE KNOWS how much it would hurt Haru if he began crying.

Now that whole ‘breaking’ comment is going to have to wait a little bit more because now I’m on the subject of them being protective.

haru has always been protective over Makoto. Letting Makoto hide behind him when he’s scared. In this scene we see Haru holding Makoto’s hand as Makoto trembles in fear. The concern Haru has Makoto in this scene makes my heart weep. He just wants him to feel safe. Haru is doing everything he can to comfort Makoto.

About to kill 2 birds with one stone here: concern and the almost make out scene….and fear as well. Ahhh I’m so all over the place I’m sorry.

THIS SCENE. THIS EPISODE. WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN WITH THIS EPISODE. The concern. The fear haru has in his eyes over his darling friend. “Is Makoto okay? Oh fuck is he okay?” He is SCARED to look Makoto. Then they almost touch lips but no CPR is too gay so Makoto breathes again but anyways moving on.

After this we have the iconic makoharu scene that i could, once again, write an entire post about in itself where makoto tells Haru “It’s meaningless unless I’m with you” which is basically a confession in this show let’s face it.

(Not the same episode, but the point of ‘it’s meaningless without you’ is a reoccurring makoharu theme. Lmfao Haru didn’t even want to join the swimming cub at first. only because of makoto :0) ) 

Also, after this we see Haru get very angry at Rei, for not only risking himself but also his friends. He almost LOST Makoto over this. He scolds Rei pretty harshly. I think haru was also a little mad he had to drag makoto into this because of his fear of the ocean.

Real quick add on: Haru canonly walks between Makoto and the ocean to protect makoto from the ocean hahahahahaha (end me)

OKAY BACK TO THE BROKEN THING LET’S DO THIS

Once again, could do a whole post, blah blah blah

anyways we have seen Haru get in MULTIPLE confrontations and fights over the two seasons. Mostly between Rin and sousuke, and not a single one affected haru as much as the fight he had Makoto.

Haru expects other people to bring the subject of a dream up to him, but not Makoto. haru just expects Makoto to let Haru do his thing, but no, Makoto knows what HARU wants, and unlike other characters who were simply pushing themselves and their wants onto Haru, makoto is doing this FOR Haru because he knows this is what HARU wants.

Makoto knows he can’t just let Haru go on with what he’s doing because he knows haru isn’t okay. That he isn’t happy. he’s concerned.

AND THEN MAKOTO DROPS THE BOMB AND WE SEE HARU ABSOLUTELY FUCKING BREAK. Haru has never broken down like this over any other character. he was fine leaving Rei and Nagisa behind for the swim club. he was okay with letting Rin go off and do whateverthefuck in the Olympics, but as soon as Makoto tells him that he’s leaving haru fucking breaks, because he thought Makoto would always be by his side. He’s the person haru always wanted to be with. Haru RUNS away from makoto with a fucking broken heart and we see him lying in his bed absolutely fucking wrecked with sadness. Enough to where he’s willing enough to leave the country to be away from makoto-

STOP, okay some things I need to say here 1. haru did in fact say he was pretty much only willing to go australia because he was so torn up over his fight with Makoto 2. MAKOTO was the one who even told Rin to fucking do anything. Makoto was the one that texted Rin. Makoto is the one that got him to go on the trip. makoto was the one that cared.

OKAY GO.

After that whole cluster fuck of an episode 12 in season 2 of forced fan service and destroyed character development we get episode 13 and THIS beautiful scene

*Laughs bc once again I have written full posts on this 10 second scene alone* The welcome back was animated so fucking BEAUTIFULLY. The attention to detail, how much care the creators put in to showing how happy and relieved, but also nervous and scared haru was to see Makoto again, The way Makoto sweetly welcomes haru HOME (ahhhh!!!! HE IS HOME) and the way haru just looks so overcome that he almost breaks into tears of relief. So beautiful.

Then they make up with this sweet scene and the world is once again all fine. Also haru does that little scoot scoot towards his boyfriend haha we saw you haru you ain’t slick. (Fuck you kyoani that was the worst 2 weeks of my fucking life) 

Then we have the race between iwatobi and OH….OH MY GOD. the way makoto and Haru look at each other for that fucking scene in the race oh my god

DO YOU SEE THIS??? DO YOU FUCKING SEE THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE. Like they have this entire moment to themselves. just love, and trust and.. so much going on here. Then Rei and Nagisa swam up together. makoto and Haru got their own moment to illustrate the importance of their relationship.

Then there’s the scene where they’re all hugging and Haru smiles and oh my god my heart I’M DEAD.

AND THEN BOOM CLAP WE WIN HARU GOES TO TOKYO WITH MAKOTO.

BECAUSE OF MAKOTO. TO BE WITH MAKOTO. 

Oh my oh my god I’m a mess um smaller things now

Cute shit like this. Makoto doting over Haru like this. It’s so sweet they’re so in love. More so the high speed movie! Once again, there are full posts by people who have seen the movie, but this movie wow. We get the ebautiful conflict Makoto has “Do I swim because I like swimming or because I like Haru” and Haru getting sad that makoto begins avoiding him to figure out but then we get the reconciliation and the BEAUTIFUL FUCKING SWIMMING SCENE. oh my god and after that we get Makoto saying he Loves swimming and he LOVES HARU *Slams cards down on the table to collect my jackpot money*

Although this is not the first time Makoto has voiced the word ‘love’ towards Haru. I believe the first time is in the makoharu fireworks scene in season 1… or maybe it was the fireworks scene in season 2 haha sorry i can’t keep my romantic multiple firework scenes in check.

Wow this has gotten way too long and I had actually planned on doing MORE but this post is already…wow. Anyways I’ll just wrap it up with this:

Anyone who doesn’t think Makoharu has dynamics, development, OR backing obviously didn’t watch the show and are just being bitter lil babies.

anonymous asked:

for the prompt thing, can you do one where dex's dad is in the military and does one of those surprise homecomings at a samwell hockey game (and like, somehow work nurseydex into it? like maybe nursey/the team didn't know dex's dad was in the service? or not if you dont want to lol there are minimal rules here i j like the general idea)

i loved this prompt a lot so it jumped to the top of the list! thank you for this, i really enjoyed it. this is alternatively named ‘how do i america hockey i do not know enough i am but a humble briton

i also watched some military homecoming videos for inspo and cried a lot. i enjoyed that too.

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