i've posted this before and i'll post it again

Bar Ettiquette

Not many of my followers know, but I’m a bartender and after this weekend (and for the last 5 years) I thought I’d make a quick a simple list of bar manners to mind.

  • If you use a lime after a shot do not stick your gross ass chewed up lime on the bar. Put it back into the shot glass, on a napkin or find a trash can for the love of god. 
  • If you don’t want a straw in your drink, either say so when you order or put in on a napkin or throw it away. Again, do not stick it in your mouth, suck on it and leave your spit straw on the counter. Have you no manners?
  • Don’t yell. Use your manners.
  • I know it looks like I will never look into your beautiful, drink starved eyes, but I can see you even if I’m not looking at you. Trust me
  • If I am not looking at you, I’m not taking your order. If I look at your eyes, that’s a sign that I’m ready to take your order. Which I am not, so don’t wave your hand in front of my face to make me look at you. I might forget what I’m doing an take even longer. You’re only hurting yourself.
  • If you are ordering multiple drinks, order them all at once. Not one at a time. You get your drinks faster and everyone around you can get served faster as well. It’s a win-win.
  • I don’t care what you drink, honestly. Like, drink a long island. Or a lemon drop. It makes my gut hurt because sugar. But I Don’t Care. And neither should you, so don’t make shitty comments the person next to you when they order. 
  • Unless you’re putting red bull in grey goose. Save yourself some cash and just get well vodka. 
  • I take it back, there was one time someone ordered a pint glass of half & half and a shot of malibu rum in it and I thought i was going to die.
  • If I ask you if you want a back/chaser for your shot I’m not questioning your masculinity or giving you a test. I just want to know. It’s easier to do it all at once.
  • I don’t know that one special drink at another bar, but tell me what you like about it and I’ll try to find you an alternative. 
  • Please. Please don’t ask me to just pour you whatever. Especially when it’s busy. I have to hold back the urge to pour you a shot of grape pucker and call it a day.
  • If you ask me for a “girly” or “pussy” drink I will pour you fernet branca because I am both girly, in possession of a vagina and that’s all I drink. You’ll regret it.
  • If you order something gay I will pour you whiskey because that’s what all my gay male friends drink. They also drink fernet as well. It’s a toss up there. 
  • In fact. I serve women, gay men/women and straight dudes all about the same when it comes to whiskey. It’s strange how gender and sexuality have nothing to do with the types of alcohol you drink.
  • The correct terminology you are looking for is “fruity” or “mixed” 
  • Anyway. Someone once asked for both. After I responded with fernet to his “pussy” shot request, he ordered a “gay” shot.
  • So I told him I’d make him a gay shot called a dick in his mouth.
  • I did. 
  • He told me it was “a little stiff”
  • I told him if there’s a dick in his mouth, you better hope it’s stiff.
7

get to know me: favorite female charactersthe ghibli girls
 “Many of my movies have strong female leads – brave, self-sufficient girls that don’t think twice about fighting for what they believe in with all their heart. They’ll need a friend, or a supporter, but never a savior. Any woman is just as capable of being a hero as any man.” (– Hayao Miyazaki)

HP reread XI: kacky snorgle
  • I think it says a lot about Things Us Muggles Don’t Know that when Harry mishears “Europa is covered in ice” as “Europa is covered in mice”, he doesn’t for one second think “wait a minute. that can’t be right.” he takes it absolutely in stride. he just copies it down into his notes and writes it in his essay like “yep. all over one of Jupiter’s moons. mice.” what weird things has he learnt about the universe that Europa being covered in mice doesn’t give him pause? what else don’t we know???
  • I absolutely LOVE how much Hermione gets Sirius. she’s 110% gung-ho cheerleading/spearheading the whole Harry Should Teach Us Defence thing until Sirius enthusiastically leaps on board and then she’s like “oh. Oh.” and starts FRANTICALLY REEVALUATING like, “whoa whoa whoa, okay, hold up guys! hang on a second!!! maybe we need to press the PAUSE BUTTON on this EXPULSION ATTEMPT until we find the Marauder-shaped FLAW in this PLAN!!!” 
  • sometimes I forget that Harry and Draco et al. are Teen Boys. well, okay, I don’t forget that they’re teen boys, but I forget that they’re teen boys exactly like the legions of teen boys I went to school with, i.e. they are Idiot Lads whom I DESPAIR OF. case in point: Harry flies into a rage because Draco Malfoy, Sore Loser, says that Harry’s mother’s and the Weasley’s houses smell. Draco makes a long-winded, poncey “your mum” jab and Harry gets himself banned from quidditch for life. honestly
  • at one point Harry is sitting, staring into the fire, wishing that Sirius’s head would appear and “give him some advice about girls.” Harry… I can safely say that you’re gonna be left hanging on that front. 
  • SPEAKING OF WHICH, I think it is ALWAYS worth mentioning that, for Christmas, “Sirius and Lupin had given Harry a set of excellent books”. I mean. wow, they… gave Harry some books. they both… gave Harry… haha. that’s so weird. I wonder why they both… together… gave Harry a joint present…?  I’ll give you a clue: the answer to this question and the answer to “why won’t Sirius’s head show up in this fire and give me ADVICE about GIRLS?” is the same. 
  • and Harry absolutely needs that advice about girls. at one point Cho approaches him about the fact that there’s a Hogsmeade trip on Valentine’s Day (probably after at least a fortnight of waiting for Harry to bring it up first) and Harry’s like, “oh. so there is. nice talking to you, Cho!” it takes SO LONG for the penny to drop that Harry has to sprint up a staircase to invite Cho to Hogsmeade with him. what bizarre train of thought did he ride on to have Cho Chang bring up Hogsmeade and Valentine’s Day in the same sentence and NOT wind up at the logical conclusion for at least a minute and a half? what goes on in this child’s head???
  • I am indescribably sad that Harry James Potter sat at the Gryffindor table and used a tablespoon as a mirror in which to do his hair and Draco Malfoy did not get to see this happen
  • while we’re on the subject of my favourite fledgling gay: Draco is so involved in glaring at/utterly distracted by Harry during their charms exam that he loses his concentration and smashes a wineglass. how EMBARRASSING. I bet he just wanted to DIE. he definitely had to put his head in someone’s lap and get his hair stroked about that one. keep your pecker up, kiddo! he probably didn’t even notice!!!
  • Harry risks life, limb, detentions and the skin on the back of his hand to break into Umbridge’s office and floo Sirius because he’s so torn up about his dad being a wanker, and Sirius and Remus are literally THE MOST UNHELPFUL THEY HAVE EVER BEEN. the two of them just go off into paroxysms of joy. like, “okay, he was a bit of an arsehole, Snape really deserved it, BUT WAS JAMES PLAYING WITH THE SNITCH?” “he was messing up his hair?! OMG!” “[in the fondest voice imaginable] he was an idiot! we were ALL IDIOTS!!!” “Lily LOVED James in the end! who WOULDN’T LOVE JAMES???” like, guys. reel it in. 
  • I think it’s quite sweet that Hagrid steals Harry and Hermione from a quidditch match to take them into the Forbidden Forest (in which there are, to name but a few: giant spiders that would eat them without a moment’s hesitation, angry centaurs harbouring anti-wizard leanings and a violent, 16ft-tall giant), and his only words of warning are, “Watch yerselves, now, there’s nettles.” 

this morning i was thinking about the raven cycle and how fucking incredible it is that it means so much to me. like, i’ve Loved a lot of works of fiction before and since, but i was in such a bad place when i read trc (depressed and failing classes and, i think, in retrospect, having a malnutrition-induced breakdown because i hadn’t been regularly eating more than about 1200-1500 calories a day for a solid year) and having this series reach out to me and make me realize “oh, yeah, things haven’t always been this bad, they’ve been better before and they can be better again” was. fucking life-changing in the purest and most joy-inducing way possible. feels like hope

normansrareguitars: Happy #Straturday! @jakecurranguitar playing a @nashguitars_ig Relic #Stratocaster and @johnbirdjr on a 1962 @gibsonguitar EB-0 #Bass here at #NormansRareGuitars! #JohnBird and #JakeCurran are both from #Ireland and are both outstanding players! They play with @niallhoran band! Check out the full video on our @youtubeChannel, link on our bio. What do you guys think?

And John reposted:

johnbirdjrMyself and Jakey having a little Jam in LA last week. Thanks @normansrareguitars for letting us play these fine instruments and giving me a free hat! #guitarfriends

“OOOOHkay, Okay, I see how it is.” The man spun around and stuck one foot out, then thrust a finger in the Keeper’s direction. His voice boomed impossibly loud, filling Izuku’s entire being with it. “KEEPER OF THE LOST SHOUTA AIZAWAAAAHA VERUSSSES KEEPER OF THE STRONG TOSHINORI YAAAAAAAGAAAAAAAAAH! FIGHT!

Aizawa’s bandages, apparently extensions of himself, again shot forward and slammed the door shut in the new comer’s face. From the tiny crack under the doorway, a faint groan could be heard.

“Shouta, learn to take a joke,” The faint voice pleaded.

“No,” Aizawa replied.

2

AoS Winter (Re)Watch: One FitzSimmons scene per episode
            1x13 “T.R.A.C.K.S.”

I think human consciousness, is a tragic misstep in evolution. We became too self-aware, nature created an aspect of nature separate from itself, we are creatures that should not exist by natural law. We are things that labor under the illusion of having a self; an accretion of sensory, experience and feeling, programmed with total assurance that we are each somebody, when in fact everybody is nobody. Maybe the honorable thing for our species to do is deny our programming, stop reproducing, walk hand in hand into extinction, one last midnight - brothers and sisters opting out of a raw deal.”

True Detective, 2014

so…. i have probably my most personally important introduction post after this one today and i just… hnnn

i did write it before and it hit about 4k but i didn’t like it, so i can’t say i’m sad i have to start again, i just really want it to be good. don’t get me wrong i like all my writing to be good but if i’m staring most pieces down and thinking ‘i could rebuild this entirely and make it better, but it’s still decent as is’, then i’ll just post it. but this intro? this has to be… perfect

you and luke being in a horribly dramatic relationship with fight after fight after fight but you’d both know you need each other. you’d fight over everything from his party habits to the way you dress to how he chews too loud to how you have too many guy friends. you’d scream at each other for hours on end, and he’d call you a slut and you’d call him a drunken cunt, and you’d throw plates at him and smash his guitars and he’d punch the walls and grab your shirt and pull your face right up against his as he’d mutter “i hate you, you fucking bitch” and you’d push him off and scream “THEN LEAVE, WHORE BOY HEMMINGS”. but every fight would end the same no matter how bad it had been. you’d lock yourself in bedroom and he’d take a cold shower, and after an hour he’d come knocking on the bedroom door and when you said “go away”, he’d come in anyways. he’d go straight to where you always laid on the bed and lie down next to you, and you curl up into his arms and cry until you fell asleep, and as you slept with tear-stained cheeks luke would lie and watch you. “i won’t ever leave” he’d whisper into your hair and you’d shuffle around, waking up slightly. “hold onto me, luke” you’d sleepily mutter and he’d shush you and dry your cheeks with a careful thumb, as he’d whisper “i’ve got you, princess, now go back to sleep”. he’d softly kiss you, as your eyes fell shut and you’d be asleep again. luke would sigh and close his eyes, falling asleep with a painful worry that one day this dysfunctional relationship would fall apart, although he knew deep down that would never happen. you fought like enemies, but only ‘cause you both cared way too much.

Okay, I've said this once before and I'll say it again,

Don’t post Dan’s nudes! He has kindly asked before for people not to share them and has deleted them himself on his tumblr, and clearly doesn’t want anyone other than him to see them. Don’t act like when you post them you are ‘doing a great thing for the phandom’, you’re not and nor would you be a great fan of his and Phil’s either. We should respect Dan and Phil, by removing such pictures or at least trying to avoid them from being widely spread again not do the opposite!