i've never seen him so beautiful before

Proof I’m the Awkwardest Person Around

My friend, Jenna, and I walk through the school hallways while performing extreme, drastic measures: she’s trying to pour her bag of Ruffles into my plate while I hand her my Hummus dip as we both exchange cups full of soda. Of course, we end up failing, and the bag of chips fall to the floor along with my plate, sending chips flying across the floor everywhere. Naturally, we scream like possessed banshees, because there goes our source of fuel to continue through the path to hell. Anyways, we’re about to book it, still carrying our cups of soda, when this extremely blessed looking male of another species walks by us and stops with the most adorable and concerned expression ever

He asks, “Are you guys alright?” Jenna and I pipe up, “Yes, yes, yes” on repeat for about five seconds before we shut up. Our minds spin, literally screeching why is this Adonis talking to us?? Before we can book it out of there, the male goes onto his knees and starts individually picking up all the chips. Jenna and I are flat out stunned and our jaws hit the floor. Seeing no other choice, we join the Greek God on the floor and clean up our mess, stuffing the dirty chips back in the bag. When the ground is nearly clean, Jenna stands up, and the out of this world chiseled man and I make eye contact. 

Time freezes, and slowly spins, and the beautiful X and Y chromosome body stretches out his hand. I stare at the tanned offering for a second before holding out my own hand. I clasp my hand around his and roughly give him a handshake, jerking our arms up and down. Then I pull my hand back, and straighten myself up, while black-haired muscular beast stares at me with the most confused expression. Jenna shrieks and drags me through the hallways, screeching in my ear, “Dumbass, he was trying to help you up not do the bro code on you. And you tell me chivalry is dead.” My brain is spinning while I internally scream at myself, while Jenna belts out strings of curses. 

When I spare a glance back, the blessed stranger is still crouching on the floor in the middle of the hallways holding the dirty bag of chips with furrowed brows. My own insides lurch around as the lovely, large male stares at his hand. So yes, I gave him a handshake on the floor in the middle of the hallways with a dirty bag of chips, and I have never blushed so hard at school someone slap me I let the creatively crafted face go w h y  a m  I  l i k e   t h i s.

|| its always sunny in philadelphia || sentence starters ||
  • "I eat stickers all the time dude!"
  • "You think a pirate lives in there?"
  • "How much cheese have you eaten today?"
  • "How much cheese is too much cheese?"
  • "I had a lot of cheese, a block of cheese."
  • "I have an idea."
  • "What are you gonna do? Hit him?"
  • "That does unbang your mom."
  • "But I am who I am."
  • "Yeah lets pretend you aren't who you are and lets try to attract a woman."
  • "What are your dislikes?"
  • "What's up, bitches?"
  • "I've never seen so many beautiful people in my life."
  • "What is this wolf hair?"
  • "I think you should bang Gail the Snail."
  • "Well...It's not about you."
  • "Whoa, whats up with the spray paint?"
  • "God, you're disgusting, disgusting animal."
  • "Alright, lets go get some men!"
  • "Boom."
  • "Where is your breath?"
  • "It's not the fifties anymore, _______. The kids aren't booping anymore, they are banging each other and doing meth before grade school."
  • "We're trying to give you the Christmas spirit, dickhole!"
  • "Just tell her you want to bang her."
  • "Grain alcohol, baby! Whenever there's a potential riot, I'm getting blasted on grain alcohol."
  • "Dude, do you have a boner right now?"
  • "I have a bleached asshole."
  • "Dude, I swear to God, if you try and give me a noogie, I will yank your underwear over your head so hard your asshole will rip in half."
  • "RUM HAM!"
  • "I'd like some welfare please."
  • "Do not plug an open flesh wound with trash!"
  • "I'm going to pinch their dicks with this lobster!"
  • "I'm not fat, I'm cultivating mass!"
  • "THIS ISN'T OVER UNTIL I SAY ITS OVER!"
  • "Everybody's dying, bitch."

jadedlilcynner  asked:

Don't know if you did this one yet buy #5 captain swan pretty please? Thank you :)

So… 3 weeks ago I reblogged this post. I’m so sorry it took me forever to finish, but I’m satisfied with what I came up with so I hope you enjoy it as well! <3

one night stand and falling pregnant au

He is a prince and she is a pirate. 

And she is pregnant.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

he was hazel eyes. brown and green are a beautiful combination, I think. his hair looks brown but when you're close you see it's red. he has the littlest nose and a beautiful smile. his lips have freckles, I'd never seen that before and I love it. he always wears sweatpants and vans and I have one of his hoodies. I rarely take it off when I am home. I look at him with pure fascination, as I've never seen someone so stunning. I love him. I have for 3 years but he doesn't love me. I'm stuck.

For some reason reading this really hurt.

a hella long list of random lyric sentence starters (pt. 8)
  • "I wish I was your cigarette."
  • "I can't count the things that I wanna do to you."
  • "I can't even say what you're putting me through every night."
  • "You're leaving town for a long time."
  • "You don't have to die alone tonight."
  • "I'll make a living telling people what they want to hear."
  • "It's not a perfect plan, but it's the one we've got."
  • "Take me to your best friend's house."
  • "I loved you then and I love you now."
  • "Let's stay up all night."
  • "Love’s a fucking bitch."
  • "I really feel that I'm losing my best friend."
  • "I can't believe this could be the end."
  • "It looks as though you're letting go."
  • "I don't need your reasons."
  • "You wanna argue all day, make love all night."
  • "You're overprotective when I'm leaving."
  • "You had me from the start, won't let this end."
  • "I usually love sleeping all alone."
  • "She's just happy that the crew's back in town."
  • "I wanna be in the game."
  • "I wanna know your middle name."
  • "Right now, you're killing the game."
  • "Everybody's gonna go big tonight."
  • "I'm stupid - I'm staying."
  • "You're my drug."
  • "You're drunk, you need it."
  • "We're bound to linger on."
  • "You wasted your time on my heart."
  • "You're gone... come back."
  • "Stay gone, stay clean."
  • "I need you to need me."
  • "Don't stop imagining. The day that you do is the day that you die."
  • "We were all having fun."
  • "Thought I'd never fall in love, then there was you."
  • "One look and just one touch, and I knew she was the girl for me."
  • "I never met a girl like you that makes me want to settle down."
  • "I don't want to be a player no more."
  • "I'm already taken."
  • "I've seen your eyes before."
  • "I don't want anything more."
  • "I remember you, and all the things that we have planned."
  • "I will come back for you."
  • "He and I had something beautiful, but so dysfunctional, it couldn't last."
  • "I loved him so but I let him go 'cause I knew he'd never love me back."
  • "I am healing, but it's taking so long."
  • "He's gone and you are wonderful, it's hard to move on."
  • "I'm better near to you."
  • "You and I have something different and I'm enjoying it cautiously."
  • "I'm battle scarred, I am working oh so hard to get back to who I used to be."
  • "I'm so close to being yours."
  • "I only know that I belong where you are."
  • "I like you a lot, think you're really hot."
  • "Let's go see The Killers and make out in the bleachers."
  • "I'm not loose, I like to party."
  • "I like boys and that is that."
  • "Watch your heart when we're together, boys like you love me forever."
  • "I'm not scared of love."
  • "You make me strong."
  • "Think of how much love that's been wasted, people always trying to escape it."
  • "There's nothing I'm running from."
  • "Do it again, again and again."
  • "Say my name, say my name, say my stupid name."
  • "It's stupid how we always seem to do it again."
  • "You're so stupid and perfect, I hate you, I want you."
  • "Friends, lovers, or nothing; we can really only ever be one."
  • "Anything less than 'I love you' is lying."
  • "I let my true love die."
  • "I had his heart but I broke it every time."
  • "You're not exactly the guy I can bring home to my mama, but what she don't know won't hurt her."
  • "You get under my skin, such a sweet sin."
  • "They say you don't deserve me, but it really don't disturb me."
  • "Why do all good girls like the bad boys?"
  • "Tell me why the dark side just captures my eye."
  • "I know that you're a villain but I can't stop this feeling."
  • "You're cocky and its working."
  • "You know how much you want him."
  • "You're constantly just denying."
  • "He's just another girl addict."
  • "He's dirty to the bone, beware of the dog."
  • "I got into trouble with him, I got in a bubble with him."
  • "It feels like heaven when I kiss the devil."
  • "She don't want to be saved."
  • "It's all about the two of us."
  • "A one night stand just ain't enough."
  • "There goes my baby."
  • "You're so special, you're like diamonds and pearls."
  • "You're my number one, baby, and you come to rock my world."
  • "A little conversation goes a long, long way."
  • "You've gotta a lot of nerve coming here."
  • "I can't have you, it isn't fair."
  • "He never really saw me."
  • "I wanna break your heart, I wanna let you know what it's like to be so dicked around and miserable."
  • "You spit me out then leave me; do I make it so easy?"
  • "How long 'till I breathe again?"
  • "I cry on curbs by your apartment."
  • "I can't seem to walk away."
  • "I can't make you feel this way."
  • "Make up your mind, don't you want me?"
  • "I just want you, do you want me?"
  • "One day, I'm gonna find a way to make you stay in my arms."
  • "I hope my smile can distract you."
  • "I hope my fists can fight for two."
  • "I dreamed I was missing, you were so scared, but no one would listen 'cause no one else cared."
  • "Every song I hear on the radio will always be about you."
  • "You're a galaxy away, you're off somewhere in outer space."
  • "I'm stupid enough to wait for what's impossible."
  • "I love you, but my heart's an idiot."
  • "Why love you? You will never love me, too, and I'll end up broken."
  • "If I have to, I will wait."
  • "You're probably on your flight back to your home town."
  • "Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they?"
  • "I'll be your best friend and you'll be my Valentine." "Yes, you can hold my hand if you want to, 'cause I want to hold yours, too."
  • "We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds."
  • "I hope you know that this has nothing to do with you."
  • "I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket, but I've got to get a move on with my life."
  • "It's time to be a big girl now and big girls don't cry."
Happily Warm in the Streets, Unwillingly Cold in the Sheets
  • [Genos comes into the apartment at somewhere around 3AM, after having come straight back after a week's long repair from a nasty monster fight. Genos spies his sensei curled up under their blankets, both of their futons placed side-by-side. Genos's sensors are saying that he's not sleeping, but he hasn't greeted Genos either.]
  • Genos: I'm home Sen- *dodges a pillow thrown at his head*
  • Saitama: You've been gone for a week.
  • Genos: Yes, but I've been getting repairs done-
  • Saitama: I've been cold the entire time you were gone.
  • Genos: I'm sorry about that, Sensei. I'll get the apartment warmed up straight away.
  • Saitama: That has nothing to do with it!
  • [Genos's confused words are halfway out of his mouth before Saitama sits up. His eyes have deep, dark circles under them like he hasn't slept properly in days.]
  • Saitama: *looks away* I've been so warm and then you were gone.
  • Genos: Sensei, I don't understand.
  • Saitama: When we walk down the street together, you hold my hand and it's so warm. When we eat at the same restaurant, you make sure my food's warmed up all the way. When we lie together at night, I always sweat because you get so hot in your sleep.
  • Saitama: *almost so quietly that Genos couldn't hear* And then I was cold.
  • [Genos still doesn't understand what his sensei is talking about, but with a touch of his metal hand against Saitama's neck they lock eyes. Saitama's eyes are rich in emotion that Genos cannot name, has no idea what to call it. He does know that Saitama has been hurting. He does know, with all his core, he never wants to see those beautiful eyes like that again.]
  • Genos: I'm sorry.
  • Saitama: You were nearly destroyed by that monster, and I know it doesn't faze you anymore but I've never liked it. I how much until you were gone for too long. You were always nearby to warm me up, but you were gone and I was so cold.
  • Genos: Sensei, I'm-
  • [He can't get a word out when Saitama lunges at him, wrapping his impossible arms around him like cables. Saitama has tucked himself tightly into Genos's lap, his head under his chin. Genos has never seen him look so small before.]
  • Saitama: I never want to be cold like that ever again.
  • Genos: *wraps his arms around his sensei, quietly making himself warmer from his core* I promise you never will, Saitama.