i've never gotten anything like this before so i hope this works!

Love is the bane of honour, the death of duty | The Dragonpit scene

This episode was the physical embodiment of this warning, now that I think about it. And yes! I’ve been repeatedly watching Jonerys scenes on near-loop since the episode came out because I’m in love and that killed my duty, so see, it works on multilevels 😂

When Aemon Targaryen had said this to Jon, I had thought it applied to Ygritte later, but it wasn’t it. Because with Ygritte, Jon always chose honor/duty, and though the choice wasn’t easy, he never sacrificed his duty for love (technically, he didn’t sacrifice honor for love too, he did it for duty). Of course, the lesson that Jon finally learned was that if anything can make someone forget their duty, it’s love, and no matter how honorable a man is, honor seems a small price to pay for the warmth of love. With Ygritte, though he came close, he never forgot his duty because as I’ve said numerous times, that wasn’t a choice. Be with Ygritte and let the entire Night’s Watch, countless innocents, his family and who knows who else just die? Come on, we all knew that was so not happening. But with Dany… Here is where it gets trickier and I loved how the episode set up the honor vs love clash we can expect next season.

So, the first scene (after Dany’s extra extra appearance 😂) is when Jon publicly pledges himself to Queen Daenerys of House Targaryen.

Oh wait, do you hear that? The sound of complete utter silence? That’s the sound of all the antis who were loudly clamouring about how Jon is playing Dany. And that whirring sound is their brains switching to a really high gear as they desperately try to ‘reach’ for a new explanation other than Jon being in love with Dany. Funny isn’t it, how one section of the antis is completely okay with butchering his character which is literally a symbol of honesty and honor and staying true to his word. Cersei’s deliberate ‘Ned Stark’s son’ was a reminder that Jon stands for not just honor in the narrative but duty, and unnecessary cruel treachery is by no means part of that code of honor and duty; but to part of the Jonsa Fandom what matters is that he shack up with Sansa even if it be the biggest OOC action ever for him, while the other section, of course, is happy to pile hate on him because he loves someone they don’t and are now loudly proclaiming how he isn’t even good enough for Sansa anymore. Like really? Dislike a ship all you want, but in this house, we do not tolerate any disrespect of the purest of all puppies Jon Snow, and we defend his honor and will continue to do so to best of our abilities.

So anyway this scene, Cersei makes a very reasonable offer in exchange for the truce, [and of course we now know that all she was trying to do was deal with her enemies one by one by dividing them (classic Cersei)], and listen no one, not one person, even considers that Jon will turn her down, not even Daenerys!

In that moment, everyone believed that they had succeeded and it was a done deal and let’s all pack up and go home. This scene simply smashed any theories of Jon playing Dany (like any reasonable person thought he was? 🙄) Why do I say that?

Every person, most notably on Team Dragonstone looked various states of surprised/shocked when he announced his allegiance to Daenerys, not just because it was a foolish thing to do, but because none of them were aware of it happening! Dany hadn’t informed any of them about what had happened between them on the boat, which is definitely odd because if the King in the North has submitted to you, shouldn’t you inform at least your Hand about it? But she didn’t do it. Why?

Because she did not take his submission seriously. Say what you will about Dany, but she knew that his swearing allegiance to her could stem in part from an overwhelming feeling of gratitude (and possibly the other overwhelming feeling of love? 😂) and she respected him enough to give him the chance to declare his submission to her in his own time and way, without pushing him into a corner where he would have no other option but to back her. She wanted his allegiance to come of his own free will, and that, ladies and gentlemen, made me love her like crazy. It was almost like giving him a way out, because she didn’t even tell Tyrion what had happened between them, and that’s interesting because it only emphasizes how much she trusts Jon and trusts that he will be true to his word.

And Jon, oh Jon! 💖😍 If Daenerys has come far from her first meeting, he has too. If this same offer had been made before he met Dany, he would obviously have accepted it because his priority was the White Walker threat, the Northern independence and the staying as far as possible from Southern politics. This offer was literally everything he had wanted at the beginning, all neatly wrapped up and handed to him on a platter, which is why everyone expected him to accept it. Because there is no reason to refuse! Right? Right?? Now I kept saying all along that Jon wasn’t playing Dany, he couldn’t possibly be doing that because his actions are not that of a player. And no moment more strongly proves my point than this one. The ‘undercover lover’ theory could have worked if Jon had agreed to the truce. He wouldn’t even have needed to justify it to Dany or anyone else, and if he did, all he had to say was that of course he’s still loyal to her, but she doesn’t need the North as much as she needs a truce with Cersei, and she would have agreed. Like seriously, it was such a neat solution. Jon would have gotten everything he wanted without having to give anything in return, Dany wouldn’t have doubted Jon’s loyalty and would have still helped him defeat the Night King without assuming that he’s fallen in love with her (which is what she’s probably been trying to convince herself about anyway after the intense hand holding, that it was a spur of the moment thing and ’Jon Snow isn’t actually in love me and the longing stares were just him being hopeful for a successful military alliance!‘😂), and of course, the antis would have had a field day because if Jon was truly in love with Daenerys, then why didn’t he publicly stand up for her in the pit? And what did our precious puppy decide to do? What he does best! Make a stand because it is the honorable thing to do, and also because there is no way he’s not going to help Daenerys take down Cersei at a time when she will need all the help she can get! It’s honor born out of love! And my Jonerys heart has never danced such a gig as it did in that moment. Because in this scene, Jon not only does the honorable thing, but he also reveals that his feelings for Dany go beyond political alliances, or the crass 'use her for her dragons’ theory.

And this scene was yet another iconic moment in their relationship, when Dany - whose sole focus was winning the Iron Throne - is now giving much more importance to Jon’s original goal, and Jon - whose sole focus was defeating the White Walkers - is now giving more importance to Dany’s original goal. The dynamic is so beautiful because they haven’t just fallen in love with each other, no, they have come to understand the other’s viewpoint, they have come to know, respect and admire the other person and value their goals and give them the importance they deserve. Because if defeating the White Walkers is important to save humanity, so is defeating Cersei, who has shown time and again that all she truly cares about is her immediate family, completely disregarding the realm, unlike both Jon and Dany. Their relationship is so complex, so balanced, so beautiful. It’s not just as simple as ’ice and fire’ by any means. And this scene brought out their relationship dynamic extremely well.

So this tiny sliver of a moment between Cersei’s offer and Jon’s rejection gave me intense Jonerys feels because Dany’s trust in Jon is so unwaveringly strong that she expected, wanted even, him to agree to Cersei’s condition. Which is a glorious way to show how far she’s come from her initial stance of ’bend the knee’. Dany has realized the importance of the Northern threat and when she pledged to destroy the Night King in return for nothing, she meant it. How do I know that? Because she was willing to let Jon remain neutral ’for the greater good’. See, this is why I love Dany. The White Walkers are a threat to the entire realm, and Dany is dedicating all her forces towards their destruction, that is after losing already having lost a dragon. She could have gone the Cersei way of letting the world burn as long as it didn’t affect her, but she didn’t. [A lot of antis make her sound like a tyrant and I’m just so done, but that’s another post. This one is strictly 💖Jonerys💖]. She is actively contributing and asking for nothing in return. Cersei, on the other hand, is only being asked to not make Daenerys fight on two fronts. Dany could very well have demanded Jon Snow’s help in return later, and it would only have been fair. But she didn’t. Even knowing that after fighting the White Walkers, her forces will be heavily depleted and facing Cersei will be more difficult, Dany still does not expect/want Jon to help her. If that isn’t reason enough for Jon to support her, I don’t know what is. Antis claiming that she’s an entitled selfish supremist??? Antis claiming that Jon has zero reason to like/admire her??? When she’s thinking exactly the way Jon wanted her to, realizing the importance of the White Walkers threat and not demanding anything in return. My Jonerys heart melted at this scene! 😭💖

And of course, Dany’s face was priceless!

She was so torn between ’oh you idiot, now you’ve done it’ and ’my God, I love this man’. The perfect mixture of exasperation and admiration was so perfectly pulled off! Because of course she had wanted him to agree, that was the logical thing to do. But then he didn’t, and her face is like.. Yeah, no wonder I love him. Because this is part of who Jon Snow is, and part of the reason we adore him so much. Lies and deceit don’t come easy to him, this man doesn’t lie unless he absolutely has to, unless he has no other choice, and even then it’s not easy, and that makes him the hero we all love.

Another thing I found super interesting about this scene is Jon’s choice of words, but that’ll be a whole other post.

Also, I love how their ‘together’ness is echoed in everything. They will defeat the White Walker ‘together’ and then fight to overthrow Cersei ‘together’.

*jonerys feels intensify*

iidiiotiiciintelliigence  asked:

Oh my gosh. Dragon Stiles is fantastic oh my god. But I've only found a few fics of it, which sucks. So: "Peter had been losing shirts lately. Well. Not so much as loosing as having them stolen out from under his nose." AKA. Dragon Stiles steals Peter ' s clothes and stuff because he likes his scent.

Yes, I am quite the sucker for any Creature!Stiles fics, but Dragon!Stiles does hold a special place in my heart. I may have went a little overboard with this one, but I hope you like it! 

Note: This one is just over 4,000 words.

—–break—–

“Stiles? Could you come here for a minute?”

“Coming!” Stiles stood from his desk, cracking his back after sitting for so long before heading downstairs to where his dad was working at the kitchen table. “Yeah, pops?”

“Have a seat.”

Stiles did, wondering if he’d done something recently that could’ve gotten him in trouble and if he should admit now or wait to see what his dad knew. John gave him a curious look.

“You’re not in trouble, but that look says that you probably should be. I’m not sure I want to know, though.”

Stiles grinned, relaxing in the chair. “Nonsense, daddio. I’m an angel.”

John laughed, shaking his head before looking down at the book in his head.

“Look. Your eighteenth is coming up in a few weeks and your mom…” John paused, taking a deep breath before pushing through. “Your mom made me promise to give you this before then. She started writing it as soon as we figured out about…the sickness.”

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Underdog to History Maker; The Story of Katsuki Yuuri

An Interview between figure skating legend and home grown hero, Katsuki Yuuri and Anchor Morooka Hisashi.  

[ A piece inspired by this artwork by @kriscynical ]

MH: Katsuki Yuuri has been a household name for years. Since he skated into our hearts during his first junior performance inspired by Toy Story to his final gold medal winning performance at the World Championships this past March. After such a life full of twists, turns, successes, and failures, one must wonder how you sum it up…So Yuuri, how do you sum that up?“

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anonymous asked:

Give us all the angst. Wait- no that's too much angst. Put some of that back. Please we're begging you give us some fluff. Please, my queen, have mercy.

Wellllll… I DID just graduate. I guess you can have a little fluff. Just while I’m celebrating ;)


The problem with “I love you”

     There were a lot of things Keith didn’t get about Lance. He didn’t get how one person could have so many words that seemed to bubble out of him constantly, like froth on a beer glass overflowing. He didn’t get how the guy could almost die and ten minutes later be making a joke about mice. He didn’t get why he flirted so easily and openly with people everywhere they went, alien species or no. He really didn’t get why he was so hell bent on insisting he was Keith’s rival. But the thing that drove him insane was how often Lance said “I love you.”

     Keith had a distant memory of his father, tucking him into bed late at night, giving him a kiss on forehead, and murmuring, “I love you, big guy.” There had been no “I love you”s from his foster families throughout the years. There certainly hadn’t been one from the boy with the clumsy hands who’d stuck his fat, wet tongue in Keith’s mouth in an alley behind the school when they were barely thirteen. There had not even been one from Shiro when Keith had hugged him tight before the Kerberos mission, the careful wall he’d built up across the years crumbling in the face of losing his mentor and his brother, the one person he’d learned to trust, for almost twenty months.

     He had gotten exactly three “I love you”s from Lance since Blue had hurled them through a wormhole, and it was driving him up the wall.

    The first one had come when Lance had slipped and fallen while training solo with the gladiator and nearly been sliced in half. He’d been so busy dodging away from the gladiator’s sword that he hadn’t been able to catch his breath enough to shout the command to end the training session. Keith had walked in, saw what was happening, and called out the command for him. Lance collapsed back in relief and a puddle of sweat, and said, “Oh my God, Keith, you are my savior, I love you.”

     It had gone up his spine like a jolt of electricity and left him hanging speechless in the doorway, because just two days ago, Hunk had made the first meal they’d had since coming to space that wasn’t food goo by scrounging Arusian ingredients. Lance had taken one bite, groaned in pleasure, and declared his love for Hunk to the world. So why the hell was he now saying it to Keith? To cover his confusion, he backed out of the room before Lance could sit up, and then turned tail and ran.

     He quickly realized that Lance lavished “I love you”s on anyone and everyone that made him happy. The words held no special weight to him. He never saved them or cherished them, but dropped them freely and enthusiastically – which was, in fairness, how he behaved with everything. Pidge figured out how to hook up that game she and Lance had bought at the space mall so they could play it? “Pidge, you absolute beauty, I love you.” Shiro told them his plan for attacking a Galra ship? “Shiro, you’re my hero and I love you, but we are all going to die.” Hunk fixed that odd, aggravating squeaking in Blue’s back left leg? “Hunk, you genius, you paragon of kindness, I love you.” Keith got Lance away from a weird little alien with too many arms and legs that was so excited to meet an actual Paladin of Voltron that it had literally latched onto his leg and would not let go? “Keith, thank God, I love you.”

     That second time, Keith had just gritted his teeth and hadn’t responded, but as soon as they were back to the Castle he’d made some hurried, garbled excuse and dashed away. It didn’t seem to bother any of the others, and Keith hated how it got to him. It was just that he didn’t know what the hell he was supposed to do when Lance said it. Was he supposed to say it back? Did he just ignore it? Did it mean anything to him at all? Did the way Keith’s heart flapped like a hummingbird inside his chest when he heard Lance say those words matter to him? How was he supposed to know if it did?

     The third time, Keith snapped.

     “Don’t say that!”

      Lance jumped, splashing water everywhere, his head dunking briefly under, and he reemerged gasping and blinking in confusion, snorting out the water that had gone up his nose. Keith, swallowing all semblance of pride and rivalry, had muttered to Lance that they never had gotten their swim in, and he’d asked Allura how to flip the room so it would function like an Earth pool. Lance had been in the elevator in a swimsuit so fast Keith didn’t have any time to prepare or get there before him. The sight of his bare back brought back an uncomfortably visceral memory of its warmth pressed against his own. Keith choked on the regret of every decision he had ever made that had brought him to this point. They’d gotten to the pool in awkward silence, and the cool stillness of the water had drained the tension from the room. Lance had been floating on his back, looking utterly at peace, his eyes fluttering closed, when he had said it, sounding almost half asleep: “Keith, this was the best idea. I love you.”

     Now he was staring at him, dark blue eyes wide and upset, and Keith had to fight the urge to sink below the surface of the water and never come back up again.

     “What did I say?” he asked, sounding small. Shame burned Keith’s lungs like acid, but he couldn’t stand it anymore.

     “‘I love you’! You’re always goddamn saying ‘I love you.’ How the hell can you just— how can you just throw that around like it means nothing at all? What am I supposed to do when you say it?” Lance had dipped down so low in the water that only his nose, his eyes, and his forehead were still visible. “Don’t just say ‘I love you’ and act like nothing’s happened. It might not mean anything to you but it means something to me.” He snapped his mouth shut, feeling the corner of his wall crumbling, and started to scramble for the edge of the pool. Lance shot up out of the water, reached out, and caught his arm.

     “Wait, Keith, wait, please, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize it… that it was that important to you.” Keith stood still, the arm Lance was holding arched behind him, water dripping off his bangs and into his eyes. He refused to turn and look at Lance. “My family says it a lot. We say it to each other all the time. It’s not a momentous occasion for us, it’s just a way of reminding each other that we really care about each other a lot. And, I mean, you guys are kind of my family too, so I just thought…” He trailed off. When he spoke again, it was so quiet Keith barely heard him over the water lapping against the sides of the pool. “I can quit saying it to you, if it upsets you.”

     Keith whipped around, sending little waves rippling out toward Lance, and returned Lance’s grip on his forearm so they were both clutching each other. His eyes locked onto Lance’s and he couldn’t disguise the fear in them. “That’s… not exactly what I want,” Keith said. They stared at each other, the little strip of water an ocean between them. “I just never know what you mean when you say it. How do I know if you’re serious?” Lance chewed the inside of his cheek, considering. He guided Keith over to the edge of the pool and pulled them up so they were sitting with their legs dangling in the water.

     “What if I just… tell you?” he asked.

     “That works,” Keith said breathlessly. They were much too close, his right arm brushing Lance’s left, their knees less than a hair’s breadth from touching.

     “When I said ‘I love you’ I meant that you’ve made my day by suggesting this trip to the pool. I meant that you’ve made me so much happier and relaxed than I’ve been in weeks and thank you so much for that. I meant that when you’re not being an ass, I actually really enjoy your company, so I’m really happy you’re here with me.” Was it Keith’s imagination, or was Lance pressing against his arm more strongly than before? “When else did I say it?” he asked.

     “That time with—” Keith cleared his throat “—that time with the gladiator.” Lance looked up, remembering, and then nodded.

     “Right. That time I meant, Keith knows what to do, thank God he’s here, thank God he’s not just going to stand there and laugh at me for getting my ass beat, thank God you really do care about me, somewhere in there.” He gave a self-deprecating smile, and paused. “Is that why you ran out of the training room after that happened?” Their knees were touching. Keith didn’t know whether he or Lance had initiated it but neither of them were moving away, despite Keith’s best instincts.

     “Yeah,” he said. He swallowed. “Sorry about that.” Lance shook his head.

     “I should have asked. Was there another time?”

     “Just one. With that alien in the mall.” Lance laughed, and Keith tried not to notice the way his laugh vibrated through him.

     “That time I meant, I’m not sure I’ve ever been happier to see that stupid mullet. I meant, I thought I was never getting out of there, and I feel like a damsel who’s been rescued by his knight in shining armor.” They were looking at each other now, their faces much too close for comfort. The whites of Lance’s eyes shimmered with the reflected light of the pool. “Can I say it again?”

     “Say…” Keith couldn’t find the breath to finish the sentence, but Lance seemed to take it as confirmation.

     “I love you, and I mean, I care about you and I’m pretty sure at this point that you care about me, and that means the world to me. And I mean, having you on this team has turned out to be incredible and we never could have gotten this far without you. And I mean, I love that stupid mullet and your stupidly beautiful eyes and… and I…” Lance faltered, starting to pull away. “Sorry, that was dumb, I’ve— I’m— Um…” Keith dropped his hand over Lance’s, and with the other, grabbed his cheek, pulled his face back close, and kissed him hard. Drops of water from Lance’s upper lip pressed onto his own skin, sending a delicious shiver down his spine as his eyes drifted closed. Lance freed his captured hand and shoved his fingers through Keith’s mullet, pushing his head down and closer, while his other hand found Keith’s thigh and squeezed. Keith brought his hand up and ran it across the warm, smooth expanse of Lance’s back, pulling his whole body closer until they were pressing into one another over their legs. Lance’s tongue slipped inside Keith’s mouth, running along the inside of his cheek.

     A shudder from the castle broke their embrace by knocking them both off the edge back into the water to rise sputtering and red in the face. Keith sank down so only his eyes were above the water, staring at Lance uncertainly. Lance grinned sheepishly, running a hand through his hair, and Keith felt a smile stretching his cheeks underwater. Lance reached down, grabbed his hands, and pulled him to his feet. He pressed his lips briefly to Keith’s once more. They stood for a moment, waist-deep in water, hands clasped between them, foreheads touching, both their faces hot with embarrassment and pleasure, half laughing at the absurdity of it all.

     “We’ll talk later,” Lance said finally. “Right now they probably need their expert defense drones on the bridge.” Keith gasped out a laugh, trying to think about walking down in front of everyone without saying a word about what had just happened.

     “Is talking the only thing we’ll do later?” he asked. Lance squeezed his hands so tight it was almost painful.

     “Not if it’s up to me,” he promised.

     “Then let’s go,” Keith said. He turned to climb out of the pool, but Lance kept hold of one of his hands, yanking him back. Keith looked at him.

     “Hey Keith, you don’t have to say it back anytime soon, but you should know: I love you. And if you’re still worried about how to react—” Keith didn’t let him finish, but instead kissed him fiercely and briefly. When he pulled back, Lance looked dazed. “…That option is fine by me,” he said. Keith chuckled, and then pulled Lance out.

     “Let’s go carry the team,” he said. Lance grinned at him.

     “You got it.”

EVERYONE AT OVERWATCH IS HOT. A THESIS.

ALRIGHT KIDDOS SADDLE THE FUCK UP.

We have now officially reached the drunk enough to say shit you ort notta said part of the evening. And we have so many new people showing up, and said to myself, damn self, there are so many pretty people showing up tonight. And then I realized why: it is because LITERALLY EVERYBODY HERE IS ATTRACTIVE

I am not making this up. When objectively removing existing friendships and awkwardness and social niceties and power imbalances and general Reasons It Is A Bad Idea, I would most definitely bang everybody in this building.

So naturally before making suhc a statement I needed to double check the entire roster. And make sure I wasn’t leaving somebody out or making someone feel bad. Or anything like that, because even if I didn’t want to bang you all I still almost entirely like y'all and don’t want to cause no hurt feelings. We’re still a family and I still love you okay? But I went down the whole list and. I was right. Literally. Everybody. At Overwatch. Is like 100% bangable. Some over 100%.

For the purposes of this I am leaving Bastion and Orisa off the list. Because Orisa is a youngun and probably doesn’t have a grasp on such things yet and Bastion seems to be like… three? Four maybe? Mentally? I mean given that we just had to explain porn I think there maybe issues with the concept of sex, much less consent. But it’s definitely not just an omnic thing, as you will see.

So look. We’re gonna go straight down the fuckin list and I will Mathematically Prove This To All Of You.

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anonymous asked:

Just a question: we've seen you answer how the Zutara relationship would've worked for both Zuko and Katara. So how, in your opinion, would that relationship have affected the world? Since Katara would've married Zuko at some point, she would've become wife of the Fire Lord, as well as the first member of Fire Nation royalty to be of another nationality, let alone a different bender. I've never seen ANYTHING relating this aspect of their relationship, so I was curious what you thought.

Hello my dearest anon! Disquieted here! 

Thank you SO much for this question; it’s one of the very best we’ve gotten! I’ll try my best to do it justice. Be warned though, I’ve written something similar to an essay as reply, so read ahead at your own peril! 🙈 Dalz will be answering your ask separately later on as well giving you her own pov on the matter. 

Also, please keep in mind that I always pretend LoK never happened, that these are merely personal ramblings and should not be taken to heart, and that there are some things we must discuss before getting to the center of your question. So, without further ado….! 

Part I: War is war.

I’ve never doubted that the reconstruction of a nation, (let alone the entire world!), wouldn’t come with opposition and various difficulties for all parties involved.

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anonymous asked:

Hi! Uh, I know you got a lot of awful anons, and I really don't want to be one of those people, but I have a question that's been really worrying me. So ever since I started paying attention to Tumblr SJ, I think I've actually gotten less tolerant. Whenever I see people with a different background, I keep thinking about all their privileges and oppressions and how we can never relate to each other because we obviously see the world differently. [cont]

I just get so worried that I’m hurting people who are black and gay and Muslim and stuff when I’m around them. So I just kind of… Avoid them? I know. It’s really terrible. But I just don’t know what to do. I could be hurting them in ways that wouldn’t even occur to me due to my privilege. So I’m just scared all the time that I’m awful. I know that I have no reason to be scared, because my pain is nothing compared to the pain of people who are actually marginalized, but it still happens. [cont]

Of course I never tried to talk about it with someone before because I don’t want to be the type of person who goes up to black people who are actually hurting and asks them to reassure her that she’s a good ally. That would be really crappy of me to do. But then I’ve been reading you’re blog and you are super duper marginalized but you seem to not be very into SJ? You have a really different perspective and you seem to invite people to not be perfectly PC with you. [cont]

So I was wondering: Do you think there’s a way to become more comfortable around marginalized people without being oppressive? I think it must be possible. I feel less scared talking to you than I would expect for someone as marginalized as you are but it might be that I think you’re less likely to call me out if I’m oppressive? It would be really bad if that’s the reason why. IDK any more. I’m rambling. I’m sorry and I understand if you don’t answer or don’t understand or can’t help. [fin]

Firstly, you probably need a hug.

Your description of being really scared that you’re going to accidentally hurt marginalised people sounds like it might be scrupulosity-related. Scrupulosity is an anxiety problem where you’re constantly worried that you’ve done something wrong. Even if you have no particular reason to believe you have, you worry and worry and worry that maybe you missed something, maybe there’s more to it, maybe there are rules you don’t know yet, maybe the rules are insufficiently precise, etc.

Scrupulosity isn’t good for you. Being anxious all the time isn’t good for you. It also isn’t good for social justice. You said it yourself: It makes it harder for you to be an ally. For all these reasons, I would like to give you unconditional permission to not worry. Stress and guilt and pain don’t make you a better person. If you haven’t been trying to deal the scrupulosity directly because you thought you needed it to be moral, I hope you now understand that that’s not the case. I hope this will give you the support you need to make your happiness a priority here. If so, here are some good tips.


wrt becoming more comfortable around marginalised people, I’m not entirely sure what you can do. The best possible thing here would be for you to spend a lot of time around marginalised people who don’t mind if you slip up in good faith. I don’t actually believe you’re at much risk of a hurtful slip up, but you clearly feel like you are. As such, you would probably feel safest around people who you can be confident won’t be worried by it.

Over time, after you’ve been around them long enough, you’ll probably start feeling like they’re just like everyone else. You won’t see oppression lists floating over people’s heads when you try interacting with them. Instead of “Ahmed, the gay Muslim immigrant” you’ll see “Ahmed, the guy who likes slow jazz and makes excellent brownies”. Over time, I would expect this to generalise, until marginalised people just seem like people. I would be happy to be one such safe person to practice with, to whatever extent this can be achieved via the internet.

However, I understand if you’re hesitant to ask people outright if they can be wont-be-offended practice partners. Sorry. I’m not sure what other methods there are for dealing with this, other than gentle, gradual exposure. At the very least, I can offer some reassurance:

You aren’t a bad person for not being able to follow every rule of social justice. You aren’t a bad person if you accidentally offend someone. You aren’t a bad person if you’re scared to be around marginalised people. You are way less likely to slip up and hurt someone than you think you are. Anxiety disorders lie to you. You are a decent person who is being fed a bunch of rotten propaganda by your brain. What’s important is that it isn’t true.

But maybe those reassurances didn’t make you any more comfortable around marginalised people. Maybe the soft landing approach didn’t work for you, or you can’t actually try it. That’s OK. If interacting with marginalised people is making you stressed out and unhappy, then don’t do it. You have every right to avoid people who make you miserable, to the extent that you are capable of doing so.

No, it doesn’t mean marginalised people are bad or are doing anything wrong. No, it doesn’t mean you’re bad or you’re doing anything wrong. Sometimes people just can’t be around each other, and it’s no one’s fault, and that’s OK. You may feel like it’s *ist or *phobic of you to do this, but that doesn’t matter. You need your space. You need your comfort zone. No one - not a single person in the world - has a right to make you miserable. You always have a right to distance yourself from anything or anyone that’s hurting you. The sacredness of your boundaries, and everyone else’s, is the hill that I die on.

So, as the Empress of Oppression, I hereby absolve you of any and all responsibility to interact with me or anyone else who might make you uncomfortable. Go forth with joy and peace of mind.

anonymous asked:

Hi! I love ur blog! If ur taking prompts, how about a jealous Miyuki who saw a girl confessing to Eijun?

sorry for posting this so late fgjhdfdj work had me busy but here it is :Oc jealous miyuki was rlly interesting to write tbh 

rating: general
couple: misawa
word count: 1,014 words
description: everything was static around him, his eyes focused on only one figure; that of a boy whose ears were cherub, whose hand moved to cover a shy smile (was that what he was hiding?) and quickly went to rub at the back of neck. honestly, miyuki kazuya would’ve been better off without witnessing the start of a love story  —  or so he thought.

“hyaha! you won’t believe this!!!—” it was kuramochi that sounded the alarm, thus having a handful of people gathering at the rail outside miyuki’s room, everyone keeping their voice a hush as a miracle was taking place; sawamura eijun was receiving what had to be his first confession! from a girl nonetheless!

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Cas is twenty-six and has never been kissed. It’s never been a problem, but now his advisor is saying that his dissertation, a romance novel, is lacking a personal touch and won’t be liked by the board. With one day until it is due Cas is at wits end, but maybe his roommate, Dean, can give him a few pointers. 2.9k [AO3 Link]

“You love me?” Jo asked with wide, open eyes.

Anna nodded back timidly and tried to walk away, but Jo caught her arm before she could make her escape.

“How long? How long, Anna?” she demanded. “How long have you loved me?”

Anna may have been an angel, bright and powerful and able to smite Jo in an instant, but in that moment, the angel looked completely and utterly human. Her eyes were downcast and her lip was perched between her teeth. She looked terrified, which was beyond Jo. How could an angel of the Lord be terrified of a simple human like her?

“Ever since I pulled you from Hell,” she whispered. “When I touched your soul, it was the purest thing I’ve ever felt in my life. From that first caress of your being, I knew that I’d Fall for you, Jo. I just knew.”

“Anna…” Jo trailed off, because what the hell. How could an angel love her, a hunter? It didn’t make any sense, because angels hated hunters. The only reason Jo was topside was because she was a pawn in their games, and even though she thought Anna wasn’t like the others, she still had doubts at times. She thought that Anna was just putting up with her, that Jo’s love for the angel was unrequited.

“I should go,” Anna said as she turned on her heel. Her large, obsidian wings flew out, ready for flight.

Jo felt herself panic as Anna crouched down. She couldn’t let her angel leave, not after a confession like that one.

“No you don’t,” Jo said, reaching forward and turning Anna around. With a fire within her, Jo leaned in and

“Their lips…no. They touch one another with their mouths…no. They…uh…mack on one another for a long time…the end.” Cas pushed his laptop away and ran fingers through his hair, groaning. “This is impossible,” he muttered to himself, and brought his elbows up onto the table.

He’d rewritten the ending scene with Anna and Jo’s kiss a thousand times, but it never worked out. Professor Mills cited a lack of personal touch, and told him to base the kiss on his own experiences. “Add a little raunchiness, will ya?” she said to him with an upturned grin. He nodded and laughed along at the time, but now he was truly panicking. He was never going to finish his dissertation before tomorrow’s board presentation, and it would all be because he’s the only twenty-six year old on the planet who has never been kissed.

It wasn’t like he hadn’t tried before. Back in college, Cas was almost kissed a few times, the closest being when he was playing a drunken game of spin the bottle with his floormates. It landed on a girl named Meg, a feisty business major who was known for her escapades in the bedroom, but when she leaned in and tried to kiss him, he couldn’t do it. When Cas imagined his first kiss, it always was with someone he really cared about, not some girl from Edlund Hall that he barely knew.

“Yeah, wait until you find the perfect person to kiss. That’ll do you a lot of good,” Cas angrily muttered to himself as he pulled his computer back towards him. The cursor blinked back at him mockingly, and Cas carefully began typing.

“With a fire within her, Jo leaned in and grabbed Anna’s face-”

“No, no, no!” Cas cried out as he pounded on the keys. Even if he had no experience, why couldn’t he write this damn scene? Kissing was not rocket science, and he’s read enough romance novels in his life. Why can’t he just write a few lines and get it over with?

“Cas?”

He cringed when Dean’s voice hit his ears. The last thing he needed was his roommate seeing him all up in arms over this, especially since he was the one Cas had been trying to get the courage to kiss for years now. He quickly thought that if he wasn’t such a coward, then maybe he’d be able to not fail out of his dissertation.

“In my bedroom!” Cas called out, and began fruitlessly typing nonsense as Dean’s footsteps ricocheted off the hardwood floors, stopping when he reached Cas’s door.

“You okay?” Dean asked, and Cas turned around to see his friend leaning against the doorframe, lips turned up into a smirk as he toed the ground with his boot.

Perhaps it’s heightened by Cas’s troubles, but Dean looked even more handsome than usual. His jeans were rolled up at the bottom, revealing his ankles, and his white t-shirt was dirtied from his work shift at the garage. Combined with his playful gaze and his hands in his pockets, Cas felt himself blanching.

“Earth to Cas? You there, buddy?” Dean said as nodded in his direction.

Cas blinked owlishly a few times before going back to his laptop. “Yes, I’m sorry. I’m just trying to finish my dissertation.”

Dean walked over to his computer and peered over Cas’s shoulder. He could feel Dean’s breath on his neck, and it took everything in him to not turn his head and close the distance between them. It would be the perfect moment to get experience-

“Wow, this sucks,” Dean snorted, and alas, the moment was broken.

Cas glared up at Dean and pushed away from his desk. “You think it’s crappy? I’m presenting this to the board tomorrow,” Cas reminded him with emphasis. “And you decide to tell me now that it’s crappy?”

Dean held up his hands and backed away into the bed. He plopped down and replied, “Crappy isn’t the right word. It’s just…lacking. Jo grabbed Anna’s face and kissed her until they broke apart tells me nothing,” he said, quoting the last thing Cas wrote down. “I want to read about what the kiss felt like for Jo, you know?”

Cas took a deep breath and took a seat next to Dean. He folded his hands in his lap and glanced out the window, then asked the question that had been on his mind all day. “What does it feel like to be kissed, Dean?”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Skimmons prompt: Jemma comes back from the Monolith with powers and Skye/Daisy helps her adjust to this new life and they start to form a closer bond and it all eventually leads to their first kiss. So from friends to girlfriends. :D

Deep Into the Mountain Sound 

~12,000 words

A/N: um :’) this got really extensive i’m sorry. i’m sure yall are sick of me talking about it but here it is!! my epic gay mountain ladies with powers fic 


So, she’d run.

Jemma had been doing a lot of running lately. (On the planet, it had been a necessity. You sleep, and when you’re not sleeping, you run. You run, or you get too comfortable. You run, or you get negligent. You run, or the monsters catch up. You run, or you die. So, she’d done it anyway, but it hadn’t exactly been her idea—the running. And it wasn’t this time, either.)

Dr. Garner had suggested the ‘getaway’, as he called it. After living in isolation for so long, the crowded base, with all its noise, and hovering (well-meaning, she corrects herself) people, was too overwhelming for her. She’d tried, she’d given it an honest shot. But it wasn’t the right environment for her, not anymore. He thought that it would be easier for her body, and her mind, to acclimate back to this world if she could do so somewhere secluded, where there weren’t too many people, too many distractions. Slowly, she’d immerse herself back in the world, in her own time. So Coulson, only somewhat grudgingly, had offered up a cabin, a SHIELD safe-house, for her to use ‘until she was ready to come back home’.

(The team hadn’t been happy. Least of all Fitz, who’d rallied to go with her, having just gotten her back and not wanting to let her out of his sight just yet. If Coulson wouldn’t let him go, he’d said, he’d quit, and go anyway.

It was only a (very) firm word from Dr. Garner that made him stay. He wasn’t what she needed right now, Dr. Garner told him. She needed someone who could give her space, who wasn’t expecting anything from her. Most importantly, someone who she wouldn’t feel the need to perform for.

Fitz reluctantly agreed that he didn’t fit the bill. That he, just this once, wasn’t what she needed. She’d put too much pressure on herself, in his presence. If anyone could understand that, it was him. So he’d stayed behind, on the promise that she would call him whenever she had the urge, and that he could visit, if she wanted him.

But she shouldn’t be alone, Dr. Garner said.

So Skye had volunteered to go with her. At least for the first little while, to get her settled, to keep track of how she was adjusting and send updates to Dr. Garner. She might have to leave to go on missions, that was part of the agreement, but she’d be living in the cabin with Jemma for the foreseeable future.)

Skye.

Jemma glances over at her in the driver’s seat, watching her tap her fingers on the wheel to the beat of the song that’s playing quietly over the radio, and then looks back to her window before Skye has the chance to notice. The trees, lush and green in the spring warmth, roar past them. Skye is maybe driving a little too fast, but it’s not like they’ll come across any other cars. They’re far up in the mountains, and the cabin they’re making their way to is the only one around for miles. Besides that, it’s just forest, which hugs the sides of the road, only allowing the sun to grace the asphalt in wavering patches.

They hadn’t been informed exactly where they are, but judging from the flora, and the climate, and how long the flight had been, Jemma guesses somewhere in the Great Smoky Mountains. North Carolina, maybe, or Tennessee. She’d feel better if she knew exactly where they were (she’d spent long enough having no idea where she was, and she didn’t care for it), but it had been classified. It’s whatever, she’ll probably figure it out soon enough. If only she had access to a geography book, maybe a guide to the local fauna.

(Dr. Garner had told her to focus on herself, not distractions. Focus on how she’s feeling, what she’s thinking. Mindfulness, he’d called it. But she just—she can’t. She can’t stand living in her own head all the time. All she’d had on that planet was herself, and truth be told, she’d gotten sick of the company.)

Skye yawns, and Jemma risks another glance. Something gnaws at her gut: guilt. She knows it intimately, a closer friend to her than anything else has been over the years.

Had Skye only come because she felt guilty? Jemma knows that she, along with most of the team, had given up hope of ever getting Jemma back. They’d stopped trying to find her. (Jemma doesn’t blame them, it had been a long time. She might’ve done the same, if she’d been in their position.) Was that why Skye came? Trying to make up for something.

Dr. Garner told her it’s okay to be a burden, sometimes. It’s okay to let other people help carry her weight, if she can’t carry it herself.

(Jemma doesn’t believe that.)

She doesn’t want Skye to have to carry it for her, any of it. Skye isn’t her pack mule. She’s a friend. A friend who is probably only here because of her own guilt, her own emotional baggage. God, Jemma’s just going to make it worse, probably. Skye is here out of obligation (what if Dr. Garner had talked her into it? What if she hadn’t wanted to come at all?) and now she’s going to have to deal with all of Jemma’s triggers and her trauma responses and the emotional sack of shit that she’s turned into lately. Skye shouldn’t have to handle all that. It’s not fair to her, not in the least.

Fuck. Jemma’s horrible, isn’t she, for agreeing to Skye coming along. For letting her do this, for letting anyone come along at all. She should’ve come alone, dealt with this alone. No one should be forced to stand her right now, when she can barely stand herself.

Tears prick in the back of her eyes. Her throat is tightening closed. Skye can’t notice, though, she can’t, or she’ll just be concerned, and guilty, and that will make Jemma more guilty, and she just—she can’t do this. Jemma can’t do this. All of this was a mistake.

Fuck fuck fuck.

Suddenly, there’s a loud thud, and Skye curses, slamming on the breaks. Jemma catches herself against the dash, heart beating, jarred away from her thoughts.

A tree has fallen into the road, right in front of them, just as they were about to drive past it. It looks rotten. Decayed. Bark black and oozing, caving in on itself. It’s a wonder that it hadn’t fallen down long ago. Jemma thinks how unlucky it was that it fell just as they were driving by (has a fleeting, silly thought that it’s an omen of some kind) and then notices that the surrounding trees in the area all look like they’re in a state of decay as well. Just in this one spot.

“Freaky,” Skye says, and Jemma gives a noncommittal hum.

(Later, she’ll label this ‘incident number one’.)

read on AO3 

tea time for @winglysimmer. prompt: sex scene


this was levi’s first big role. it’d been years of headshots and failed agents until he finally got a low billed part in the most recent bond movie. he tried not to get excited–it wasn’t really his style to have any kind of enthusiasm in this industry. anything could be pulled out from under you at any moment, and even when you made it big, you could still fall hard.

but erwin smith. he was actually going to be working alongside erwin fucking smith. names didn’t light up in gold quite as much as his name. shine just as bright as the yellow of his perfectly styled hair. send women and men quivering and broken as much as he does. levi had his fair share of entertainment weekly magazines, full cover photos of half clothed and oiled smith shoved away in his nightstand drawer. he’d come enough times, whimpering into his wrist, thinking of big tanned hands locked into the grooves of his hips. a fantasy so much like a dream sometimes, that he’d sworn they could have been real.

he hesitated to call it an obsession. that would imply he had a problem. jerking off to celebrities wasn’t something you particularly talked about, but they were sex symbols and was of course a thing that happened. but he found himself following paparazzi twitters, following locations to see if he could come across smith in the open. see if he was as godlike as he was in the papers.

and now that he was sitting on set, clad in villainous attire of slicked back hair and a well tailored suit, he couldn’t keep his eyes off of erwin smith. couldn’t control his heartbeating so heavily through his neck that he tried to sedate it with a clench of his jaw.

smith’s bare ass, flexing with each thrust, the pits the muscles hollowing and catching the shadows of the hushed lighting. the shape of his muscles curving around bone, golden skin coated in a sheen of sweat. he made soft noises as he ground against the leading female, her dark brunette hair cascading to the pillow between his fingers as he held her head up to kiss him. the room was quiet except for the pantomiming of fake romance. 

and damn if levi shouldn’t have gotten an oscar for his spectacular ability to keep a straight face and a soft cock.

the director cuts the scene and erwin pulled away from the actress. unashamed, he padded off the set, his soft dick tucked away in a cock sock. he ran a hand through his hair to replace any stray strands as an assistant ran up to him to cover him in a robe and hand him a glass of water.

levi tried not to be star struck. tried to avert his gaze from this sex god he’d been following for his entire shitty career. this man that he couldn’t even believe he was sharing the same screen with for a whole entire minute. but he kept looking, and smith must have felt those grey eyes on him. they meet, grey and blue, and locked for what felt like ages, until smith started to walk toward him, glass of water empty and handed back to the assistant. and levi tried hard to find the next closest stage assistant to hide behind, his heart still pounding in his throat and up to his ears until his head felt like it was going to pop.

“hello.” smith said. he smelled like coconuts and cologne, and for some reason it worked really well for him.

levi didn’t look at him, ground his teeth until he finally could muster the words to respond. “hey.”

“i saw what you did earlier today. it was good stuff.”

“must have been thinking about ‘unnamed grunt A’. i’m ‘B’.”

smith laughed, and the smile that lingered was handsomely beautiful. “ah yes, i suppose i was mistaken.” he tilted his head and leaned forward. “but i think i’ve seen you before.”

levi shrunk away, still averting his eyes. “doubt it.”

“no… no… it was at ‘gilly’s’ wasn’t it.” smith smiled wider. “you know how to dance.”

levi’s eyes went wide. he focused them on the golden embroidered name on smith’s robe as he struggled with the words. gilly’s was his go to place–a west hollywood gay club that pampered to the super rich. he was not rich, but he was the kind of man that had other ways of getting through the bouncers. “i have no…”

“no. some people just dance through their booze. you dance through the music.” smith leaned back, his smile still etched on his face.

levi couldn’t hold the blush anymore. he shrunk away, his fingers curled up and played with the hem of his suit jacket. what was smith doing at a gay club? how had the paparazzi not gobbled that shit up? “like you’d be caught dead at gilly’s.” he croaked. 

“you helped my friend when they were pushed around by a drunk. i wanted to thank you at the time.”

“o-oh.” yep, that was him.

“i am glad that we’re able to meet like this. it was a pleasant surprise.”

“s-sure.” levi was losing it. every second his mask was cracking.

“what’s your name?”

“levi.”

“you can call me erwin.” he extended his hand, and levi took it. held it in his small one and tried not to imagine how much he had jacked off to the very thought of this, with the very hand he had offered to the man.

“erwin.”

“erwin! get back on set. we gotta shoot that all again.”

erwin smiled. he removed his robe and stood completely naked besides his little cloth of modesty. levi’s nose flared. “it was nice meeting you.”

levi groaned, swallowed thickly, and nodded. “yeah.”

just like always, we’ll be together

Genre: fluff x
Pairing: Reader x S.Coups
Summary: Seungcheol has planned a little surprise for you on Valentine’s Day. A lil best-friends-to-lovers fic, I guess?
Word Count: 1,807
A/N: This is for you @aureatina! Thank you for being my tumblr friend <3 Sorry this is kind of a mess! 

Your name: submit What is this?

You sat on the bench, looking out absent-mindedly at the little park. There wasn’t much to it. It was as plain as they came, a relatively flat set of fields, rimmed with trees and peppered with benches. It was totally average, but you didn’t mind. You had a lot of happy memories associated with it, times spent with good friends. It was particularly green today, brought alive by the coming of spring. It seemed to have come early this year. The trees were beginning to fill out, full of little flowers and the odd bird. They were chirping, a sweet sound that you could almost convince yourself was some sort of ode to love. It was Valentine’s Day, after all.

You sighed, looking down at your phone. Seungcheol had told you to meet him here at 10:30 in the morning. He was planning something. He hadn’t said that he was, but you knew him well enough at this point to know that he had a plan in mind. You weren’t entirely sure if you should be excited or concerned. With Seungcheol, things either went really well, or they crashed pretty quickly. It made a friendship with him full of excitement. You never quite knew where things were going to go; would you end up having one of the best days of your life? Would he accidentally get into a fight? Would you have to drag him away from an intense competition with a kid at the arcade? Who knew? Not you.

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anonymous asked:

I've been feeling a little sad lately, and your writing makes me feel so better ♥♥ Could you write something (with any boy) with Candy trying to break up with him because she feels he "deserve more"? I'll wait don't worry. Thank you honey!! ♥

(Hi sweetie! I’m glad I can help in some way! I hope you feel better soon, you’ll get through this! <3 I decided to do a short little drabble I guess? For the record this is not a regular thing that I do, I just felt like it for this specific request so pleaseee don’t start requesting these! I did Nathaniel because he’s the least popular guy in my ask right now. Hope you enjoy,and anon you can always chat with me on my main blog rickya1438! Don’t be shy, if you need someone I’m here. Love you!)

Nathaniel

“Y/N, why are you acting like this? I don’t understand why you’re suddenly bringing this up!” Nathaniel said, as he held you firmly in place by your wrists. He didn’t mean to, but his grip was a little too tight and was actually starting to hurt a bit. You pulled away but he wasn’t letting go. He tried to get you to look him in the eyes but you wouldn’t meet him. “Please just, let’s talk about this first,” he pleaded. It was hard for him to not let his voice crack a bit. 

“There’s nothing to talk about Nate, I just can’t do this anymore…”

“Do what? Is it something I’ve been doing? I promise I’ll work on it, whatever it is, just let me fix this!”

“That’s the thing, you can’t fix it!”

“Fix what Y/N?!”

“ME!! You can’t fix me!!” You yelled. This took him by surprise, and he was quiet for a moment. You thought you’d finally gotten him to back down, thinking he agreed with you, but then he spoke up, a strangely angered look on his face.

“What are you talking about??” he snapped. His tone of voice was unusually forceful, one you’d rarely ever heard from Nathaniel. You could tell he was clearly upset by your words. “You’re breaking up with me because you can’t ‘fix yourself’?”

You slowly nodded and looked at the ground. “Yeah…”

“What does that even mean y/n…” he said sighing and tilting your chin up so that you could look at him.

“It’s just, you don’t need this Nate. You deserve so much better and more. I’m not good enough for you!” There were tears rolling down your cheeks and he wiped at them, but you slapped his hands away.

“Y/N, you are the most amazing person-“  But you cut him off.

“No, I’m not! All I do is bring my problems into your life, and you don’t need that kind of drama. You should be with someone kind and beautiful, like Melody or something.”

This time his hands drop to his sides and he just stares at you. “Are you fucking serious right now?” It’s rare to hear him curse like this but his anger brings out new sides to him. “You’re really comparing yourself to Melody? Of all people?” He shakes his head and does that places his hand on his forehead like he always does when agitated. After a moment of silence he finally looks at you, his features softening, and he pulls you in for a slow, deep kiss. His hands are both on your face, making sure you can’t easily pull away. You want to but it’s so hard. He breaks the kiss, placing a quick peck on your lips and nose before completely ending it. 

“God, you might actually be stupid,” he sighs. “I love you so much, more than I’ve ever thought I could. Do you really think I care about how beautiful a person is?? Melody isn’t you, y/n, she can never be you. You’re complaining about bringing your problems into my life but who was the one who had a sleep over with my awful sister just so she could make sure I was okay? I would face your problems any day, right by your side no matter what. You are so kind and so smart, a bit aggravating at times but I wouldn’t give that up for anything in the universe. 

You have your ups and downs but as your boyfriend I’m supposed to be there through them all. Nothing you tell me right now is going to convince me to leave you, nothing. You’ve made me happier than I’ve been for a really long time and I’ll be damned before I give that up. Do you understand me?” He waits for your response, still holding you close. When you finally give a hesitant nod, he rests his forehead against yours and rests his hands on your hips. He kisses you once more and stares deep into your eyes. “Don’t scare me like that again y/n…”

theadultwitchling  asked:

Hi, I was just wondering how you know that the Morrigan is talking to you? I've been having voices in my head and my mental imagination that sometimes so easily goes to Morrigu, but for the former I'm not sure wether or not I'm just thinking it up myself and being overly wishful. Some help would be very much appreciated since I'm not sure wether She is talking to me or it's just my own brain. Thank you!

Between being generally busy and waffling over how much personal detail I’m comfortable sharing publicly, this took me longer to answer than I would’ve preferred.  Thanks for your patience.  :)

I don’t know for absolute certainty, of course, but I trust that it’s the Morrigan I’m speaking to based on methods of discernment, consistent trends, and validation from external sources.  It’s true that our expectations can color our perception, and like you, I’m predisposed to interpret certain things as the Queen before anyone else ever comes to mind.  Being aware of that bias, however, helps.  Unfortunately, it just comes down to the fact that there’s a point at which you’re going to have to take a leap of faith and trust yourself.  Of course, that’s the hardest fucking thing to do, ain’t it?  Consider:

  • When you think it might be her, what does her presence feel like (emotionally, physically, spiritually, energetically, etc)?
  • Do you feel that same presence in instances that can attributed to other causes (stress, forgetting to take medication, etc)?
  • Is the feel of her presence consistent?  (If not, it could be a clue that it’s something else pretending to be her, your own self, or something isn’t otherwise right)
  • Does your experience seem reasonable according to what’s known of her, or does it parallel other people’s UPG?  (Like, if someone claiming to be one of the Queens is making dick jokes and demanding to drink from a vessel shaped like a unicorn’s horn, you may want to ask some critical questions.)

None of these things by themselves are always easy to answer and it’s hard to make generalizations because we all experience our gods in different ways.  The way I feel the Queens might not be the same as the way others do, but that doesn’t mean anyone’s experience is necessarily invalid.  In the same tone, matching UPGs doesn’t automatically make you right, either.

I personally experience na Morrígna as distinctly separate entities.  They all have a kind of thick heaviness to their presence that’s different from the weight I experience of other deities, something that’s bone-deep and eludes accurate description, and they rarely appear to me as still, fully-defined entities.  But these characteristics can manifest differently: Badb Catha is almost always a corvid, though I usually only see her shadow or parts of wings; she’s the most well-defined for me, since she receives the bulk of my devotional work, and that deeper relationship makes her feel much closer (sometimes to the point where I have to ask her to ease back a bit because I’m a tiny fragile human and claws digging into bone isn’t exactly comfortable), and I often end up grinning or laughing or feeling drunk after spending time with her.  Macha is a burst of energy and always in motion to me, and when she chooses to appear, it’s always with short, clear messages barked out before she’s gone again.  The Morrígan is the most likely to appear human-shaped for me, but it’s more like the approximation of what a non-human thinks a human shape actually is, if that makes sense.  The few times I’ve encountered Anu, she’s been little more than a shadow and feels like the chilled, mycelium-laced dirt you dig up that hasn’t seen the light of day in years (I grew up and still live in the woods, so that’s the imagery that best encapsulates how she makes me feel).  The glimpses I’ve gotten of Cathubodua, who isn’t one of the Queens in quite the same way but has some ancestral relation, has been of someone that’s more like a force of nature that’s even deeper and more visceral and even less likely to bother with a human shape.

As always, I encourage people to set the boundaries they need to feel safe with their gods, Queens or otherwise.  Over time I’ve come to trust them more deeply, but it’s because I’ve had the chance to build up that trust and learn to keep myself safe when I start feeling a bit manic or otherwise not myself that I’m okay with having that kind of relationship.

Edit: I’ve only had an entity pretend to be the Morrígan once.  When I dubiously asked if they were the Queen, they nodded, but they never actually said yes or no, and their behavior was wildly out-of-character for any of the Queens.  I quickly but politely extricated myself from the situation without taking anything they were offering.  There was one subsequent incident in which the entity returned but got violent - presumably a mix of knowing the same trick wouldn’t work again and anger over that - and I had to ask for help protecting myself, but everything turned out okay in the end.  If an entity gives you the runaround on their identity, that can be a huge red flag.

I invite other people to share their own experiences and perceptions of the Queens, if they wish to do so.  I hope this helps.

anonymous asked:

<1-10>I took it upon myself to listen to 1989 and try to figure wtf happened in this relationship with Harry and from the songs on the album that I've gathered about him, I've also spied on some Taylor blogs to rule out which are def not him, I've come to the conclusion that Style, Out of the Woods, I Wish You Would, All You Had to do was Stay, How You Get The Girl, in pretty sure This Love, I Know Places, Clean, and Wonderland.

since there’s 10 parts and a couple of other asks to this, i’m putting it under a real more, but let me tell y’all… holy shit

also @anon… pls i welcome you back anytime

Keep reading

just--a-pervert-guy  asked:

and to finish i've read the suicidal!mc and now im dead inside, but now i want some angst with a happy end! how about a mc who got into a car crash end now they are in coma for 6 month, and now the doctor ask the rfa+v+unknown if they want to turn of the machine, they refuse(i hope, i think... well if you are felling murderous today and want to kill my happy end... please dont :/) and one month later the mc awaken and happy reunion and happy end, please gender neutral mc please :D,

<ahhh yes, i’m not feeling murderous today, and i think that it would be great to have some angst with a positive ending!! this sounds very nice to do tonight, thank you darling (i call everyone either darling or hun, btw) for the request!!>

Yoosung:

  • he was sitting in class when he got a call from an unknown number
  • he thought about just ignoring it, but he had a gut feeling that he needed to answer it
  • “Excuse me, Professor, this is an important call, do you mind if I take it quickly?”
  • he was excused, he answered the phone and raised it to his ear
  • “Hello?”
  • “Yes, is this Yoosung Kim, MC’s s/o?” 
  • “Uhh, yes. Who’s calling please?”
  • the person on the other end explained that they were the emergency room of a hospital close to his class, they told him that you had gotten hit by another driver; you had a green light, they had a red light, you went forward, they were texting, and they didn’t stop, colliding into you
  • he dropped his phone to the ground, before shakily picking it back up 
  • “Yes…I-I’ll be on my way as soon as possible. Please do anything-anything, to save them.”
  • he sprinted back into the classroom, grabbing his stuff before running out without any explanation
  • he went as quickly as he could, once the bus wasn’t going fast enough he though about getting off and sprinting to the hospital but he knew once he got there you’d still be there
  • running in, he slammed his hands on the desk asking for your room
  • the lady at the front desk gave it to him before he ran off again to find your room, and once he did a doctor stopped him outside
  • “Doc, how is MC doing?”
  • “Mr. Kim, don’t be too upset or beat yourself up but they’re in a coma, we don’t know when they’ll be out of it either.” 
  • at that moment he could feel his body wanting to drop to the floor, but he knew he couldn’t
  • he spent every single day with you, he never left the hospital unless one of the members convinced him to go home and take a shower
  • it had been 6 months, and the doctors tried to convince him to turn off your machine
  • “Sir, I think it would be good to just let MC-”
  • “No. I know MC, I know MC better than anyone. They’ll pull through it. Don’t ever turn off that machine.”
  • well, 1 month later he was right, you pulled through
  • “Y-Yoosung? Where are we?”
  • “MC! OH MY GOD MC YOU’RE AWAKE!”
  • he engulfed you into a bear hug, nearly crushing you
  • he sat down and explained everything that had happened, you were out for 6 months cause of some stupid texting driver who made it out of the crash perfectly fine btw
  • “Yoosung, I’m so sorry I should’v-”
  • “Shh..MC all that matters right now is that you’re with me. I was convinced for a while I’d loose you.”
  • he always stayed by you for the rest of your lives whenever he could, he didn’t want to come close to loosing you like that ever again.

Jaehee Kang:

  • it was a normal day at work for her, she was about to have her lunch break so she was waiting for you to come in with coffee for the two of you
  • it was odd that you were running late, but she brushed it off
  • eh..it’s probably traffic.
  • yeah. really bad traffic
  • her phone rang, she recognized it to be the local hospital so she picked up right away
  • “Hello?” 
  • “Yes, this is Jaehee Kang correct?” 
  • “Yes, is everything alright?”
  • “We’ve got an MC in here, their first primary contact to call in emergencies was listed as you…”
  • “Is everything alright?”
  • the person on the other end explained that you had gotten stuck in an intersection, and as it was clear for you to cross two cars instantly came out of now where and sandwiched you in-between them.
  • she hung up instantly, gathered her things and ran out of the building
  • “Assistant Kang, where are you-”
  • “NOT NOW, MR. HAN, MC IS IN DANGER!”
  • Jumin decided it wouldn’t be good for Jaehee to drive herself, cause if she gets into an accident who’s his assistant going to be??, so he got one if his drivers to take her to the ER
  • she ran in, quickly finding her way to you in a formal matter instead of a rushing mess
  • the door to your room was closed, so she found herself pacing outside the room until a doctor and nurse finally emerged
  • “Ms. Kang, I’m so sorry to tell you this but MC may not make it, they got hit so hard that they’re in a coma, and we’re pretty sure that they won’t make it.” 
  • Jaehee’s heart was crushed, all she could manage to do was nod her head before rushing to be by your side
  • 6 months. She stayed in the hospital for 6 months straight, never leaving at all, even when the RFA tried to pull her away.
  • today, Zen was with her, trying to get her to go home and get changed
  • “Please, Jaehee, MC wouldn’t want you to do this to yourself.”
  • “Oh well, I’m alright, I’m not leaving until MC is awake. They’ll wake up I know it.”
  • then a nurse walked into the room, interrupting Jaehee and Zen
  • “Excuse me, Ms. Kang, I believe uit’s about time to turn off the machine. MC isn’t showing any signs of waking up any time soon.”
  • “I don’t care if it will take 5 more months, a year, or 3 more years, we’re not turning off that machine.”
  • “If that’s what you wish, Ms. Kang.”
  • little did you know, you woke up a month later to everyone’s surprise.
  • “MC! Oh, MC I’ve missed you so so much. Thank you God, thank you God!” 
  • “Jaehee? What are we doing in a hospital room? And Zen’s here too?” 
  • Zen decided to leave for a while, grabbing the three of you some food, but not until he said hello and that he’d be back
  • and in the time he was gone, Jaehee explained what had happened, the accident, you being out for 7 months
  • “Oh my god, I remember it little by little, I just don’t remember getting hit…I’m sorry Jae-”
  • “It’s alright MC, all I need is you here now.” 
  • now you never really left her side, she would even take you to work with her
  • you’d help her out, since you were there anyways and became practically Jaehee’s little personal assistant that she’s always needed
  • “God, I don’t know what I’d do without you, MC. I love you.” 

Zen:

  • he was waiting for you to come over, despite it being later in the night you both had always hung out in the late hours of the night.
  • he stood by the door, looking out the window before his phone rang
  • “Yeah?”
  • “Is this Ryu Hyun?”
  • “U-Uh, yes this is, how can I help you?”
  • the man told Zen that he was a worker from the emergency room about a half hour away, you had gotten into a car accident on a major highway about an hour away from Zen’s house, a drunk driver slammed into you sending your though the guard rail, flying for at least 100 feet before slamming into a tree then the side of a building with the drunk driver’s car not too far behind you.
  • he instantly threw on a jacket and put on his bike helmet, riding his motorcycle all the way to the hospital, weaving through traffic almost getting himself killed
  • “Yes hello, I’m here to see an MC?” 
  • “Right this way, Mr. Hyun.” 
  • he was lead to your room, where a doctor stood at the foot of your bed
  • “Ah, Mr. Hyun, I wasn’t expecting to see you so quickly.”
  • “Heh, when my love is in danger I need to get to them instantly…what’s the verdict doc?” 
  • “MC…they’re…in a coma. I’m sorry Mr. Hyun, we’re not sure if they’ll make it out. If they don’t come around in 6 months we’ll ask if you’d like to turn off their machine.” 
  • he nodded his head, before the doctor left as he sank into on of the cold plastic chairs they had to offer
  • he gripped your cold, lifeless hand the entire time, waiting to feel either your comforting warmth or you squeeze back but it never happened
  • he missed out on so many bigger opportunities, but he turned them all down to make sure you were 100% alright
  • then 6 months came, and you still weren’t awake.
  • “Mr. Hyun…I think it’s time to turn off their machine..”
  • If you touch that god damn machine I will make sure of some way to end your career.  MC is my life, I know they’ll pull through so if you dare turn off that machine…
  • “Yes, a-as you wish Mr. Hyun.”
  • he cried that night, he didn’t want to loose you
  • then exactly a month later, you woke up
  • “MC! OH MC IT’S A MIRACLE!” 
  • “W-What? Zen? Where are we?” 
  • instantly called the RFA to tell them you were awake and you were alive
  • he explained everything that happened, making your jaw drop
  • “Well, MC, angels are meant to fly once in their lives..”
  • “Shush it you, I’m sorry I should’ve been more carefu-”
  • “No, it was that drunk bastard’s fault not yours.” 
  • after that he asked you to move in with him, so you wouldn’t have to drive over late int the night, and you could both spend almost every minute with each other 

Jumin Han:

  • he sat quickly working, it was a late night and he wanted to get home quickly to see you once you got off your shift at one of the local 24 hour shops
  • he got buzzed in through the phone from Jaehee, groaning as he hit the accept button
  • “Yes, Assistant Kang?”
  • “Mr. Han, I’ve got the emergency room from down the street on hold, they tried to get a hold of your cell but it was off.”
  • his eyes got wide, before he cleared his throat
  • “Put them through, Assistant Kang.”
  • “Jumin Han, speaking.”
  • “Yes, Mr. Han, we were wondering if you could come to the emergency room? We’ve got an MC in here who’s first emergency contact was listed as you..”
  • the man on the other side of the phone told him that you were leaving work when some person in the parking lot thought it would be a genius idea to drive at 40 miles per hour without stopping as you were backing up, slamming into you which then sent you going forward until you crashed through the dress shop across the street
  • he hung up with them, before calling Jaehee
  • “Assistant Kang, take care of the rest of my paper work and call off any meetings I have planned for the next month. MC’s in the hospital and I need to be with them.” 
  • if it weren’t for Driver Kim, Jumin probably would’ve driven himself and ended up in the hospital right besides you
  • he sprinted in, the woman at the front desk pointing to the hallway you were in since she knew exactly where he was headed
  • “Doctor how much money do I need to pay you to make them okay again?”
  • “Not so fast now, sir, MC’s in a coma, and none of us here know how long they’ll make it.”
  • he kept trying to push his money on them, he needed you back for the sake of his wellbeing and for your wellbeing
  • he was always found pacing your room day to day, sitting down occasionally and sleeping, then every once in a while when the RFA would come as a group to visit he’d go home and change, but he always swore up and down he’d better be there when you woke up
  • well it’s been 6 months, and you still weren’t up.
  • it was a late night for Jumin, he was exhausted from working in the hospital all day instead of the office, trying to catch up on everything that needed his signature, so he didn’t really notice when the doctor walked in
  • but he noticed when they were headed to your source of life for the time being
  • What the hell do you think you’re doing, doc?
  • “Mr. Han..I think it’s time to let them go, it’s been 6 months, they aren’t coming back.” 
  • I will end you, your career, everything you love, and this entire hospital if you dare turn off MC’s machine. I don’t care if it takes a week, a month, 5 years, or a century before they awake, you are keeping that machine on until they either wake up or if I die first, understand me?
  • “Y-Yes, Mr. Han, I apologize.”
  • “I must apologize for snapping at you, it’s been a long day doctor. Just don’t shut them off yet, thank you.”
  • and to his surprise, a month after that occurred you woke up
  • “Jumin, what hell are we doing here?”
  • “MC? MC, thank god you’re awake.” 
  • he leaned over and gave you a kiss before explaining everything that happened
  • “I’m so sorry Jumin I should’ve looked behind me-”
  • “No, MC, no “I’m sorry’s” from you okay? You’re quitting that job and just being a house wife from now on, got me?”
  • you giggled, nodding your head before he gave you a sincere hug, one that he hadn’t given in a long time.
  • and you did exactly what he told you, you quit your job, and lived happily as a stay-at-home wife with Jumin and Elizabeth, and you weren’t allowed to drive yourself anywhere unless Jumin was with you (for safety reasons of course.)

707:

  • Seven was already barely running on any sleep at all, and he couldn’t really tell what was fake or not
  • so once he got a call from the emergency room he thought it was his imagination
  • “Saeyoung Choi?” 
  • he shuddered at his own name, this was definitely real.
  • “Speaking, how may I help you?”
  • “We have a person under the name of MC-”
  • he instantly hung up, running out of his house and to his car before speeding off to the hospital
  • after practically fighting his way through the line of people waiting, he reached the front desk, asked for you, and once he got directions he actually sprinted to where you were (like no lie he actually sprinted for the first time in years)
  • after getting to your room out of breath, he was greeted to a doctor who explained everything to him as he tried to recollect himself
  • the doctor explained that you had gotten into a bad head-on collision at a stop sign, a person turning the corner didn’t pay attention, so they never saw you sitting there
  • “I’m sorry, Mr. Choi, but we’re not sure if they’ll make it.”
  • “Oh I know my MC, they’ll make it alright.”
  • he had tears in his eyes, as he slipped into the seat next you, grabbing your hand before passing out himself
  • he never left, he barely ate, barely kept himself hydrated, and he wasn’t cracking jokes like his normal self
  • the RFA took turns babysitting him, making sure he was okay, and you were okay as well
  • then the one day he kicked everyone out, 6 months after the accident, so it would just be him and you, the doctor came in to talk to Seven
  • “Mr. Choi, I think it’s about time to say goodbye to MC. They aren’t showing any signs of coming back-”
  • No.
  • “But Mr. Choi-”
  • No. You’re not killing my MC. Not yet, anyways, not until I’m gone myself.
  • once the doctor left, Seven broke down into tears, he wasn’t sure if you would come back after all.
  • then one month later you did
  • “Luciel? What the hell..why am I in pain?”
  • “MC! OH MY GOD THANK YOU JESUS MY PRAYERS WORKED!” 
  • he hugged you so tight, you were convinced he’d never let go
  • he sat down, after hugging you for a straight 3 hours, and explained everything that had happened
  • “I’m sorry Sev, I was on my way to surprise you, I had some Dr. Pepper in my trunk and i thought maybe we could watch a movie or something but I was stupid and didn-”
  • “Shh, it wasn’t you, it was the other driver okay? They’re the stupid one, not you.”
  • he made sure you were 100% okay before he took you home, then have forced you to move in with him so he could always be near him
  • and you both had your happy ending, you were able to monitor his heath and make sure he was okay, and he was able to make sure that he would never loose you again.

V:

  • he had just left on another one of his trips, and as soon as he got there he got a call from the local hospital.
  • “Hello?”
  • “Yes, is this Jihyun Kim?”
  • “Speaking, how can I help you?”
  • the person on the other end said that you had just gotten into a t-bone collision on your way to work, you were going through a green light as someone on your right and thought they had a green light, slamming themselves into you.
  • he instantly got the quickest flight back home, despite the fact he drove all the way out to where his destination was
  • as soon as he got there 5 hours later he immediately ran to the hospital
  • he quickly found where you were, walking in to see the doctor in there waiting for him
  • “I’m sorry sir, I was 5 hours away on a trip for work, so I got the quickest flight here.”
  • “That’s quite alright Mr. Kim-”
  • “Please, call me Jihyun.”
  • “As you wish, Jihyun. Anyways, we aren’t sure if MC will make it, they’re in a very bad coma and isn’t really showing signs of coming out.
  • “Thank you for telling me that, doctor, but MC’s my angel, I know they’ll be able to pull themselves out of this.”
  • he sat down next to you, grabbing your hand as he talked to you like it were a normal day,
  • except you wouldn’t answer him.
  • this went on for around 6 months, but V was able to take care of both himself and you, making sure there was still a heartbeat on the monitor beside you.
  • “Jihyun, I think it would be best to let MC go, they aren’t showing any responses to life anymore, I don’t believe they’ll make it.”
  • Sir, I don’t think so. Their heart is still beating, they’re still got a pulse, and it’s beating strong. Give them another month or so, they’ll some around.
  • and lo and behold, you awoke in a month.
  • “V? What are you doing here? I thought you had left on a trip?”
  • “Well, that trip needed to be cut short, sweetheart. But I’m here now, okay?”
  • he explained to you everything, not leaving out a single detail.
  • “I’m sorry I had to cut your trip short, the driver should’ve payed attention.”
  • “It’s alright, MC, as long as I’m here with you now, and I’ll stay with you from now on.”
  • he kept that promise, once you were released he took you on every trip he took, never leaving your side until you both died peacefully in your sleep, the way you both wanted to go.

Unkown:

  • he was at home, waiting for you to come home from errand running, before his phone began to ring
  • “I swear to god if it’s Saeyoung again-Hello?”
  • “Is this Saeran Choi?”
  • “Yes..may I ask who is speaking?” 
  • “This is (person) from the emergency room, we just got an MC here with you as their primary emergency contact…” 
  • he instantly hung up and ran out, running to the hospital since it was only about 5 or 6 minutes away 
  • the entire time his mind was bogged down with negative thoughts, you were the only person he had left who he could fully trust and depend on, if you were gone what would happen to him?
  • “God damnit MC, you better not die on me..” 
  • as he finally reached the hospital, he quickly asked loudly yelled asking where you were until he got directions, then sprinting off in that direction.
  • “DOCTOR YOU BETTER NOT TELL ME THEY’RE DEAD.”
  • “MC isn’t dead, Mr. Choi., but they are in a bad coma, we’re not sure if they’ll wake up.”
  • the doctor then went to explain that you had gotten into a rear collision on your way home from the food store, sending you 20 feet ahead of you since the driver behind you was on their phone texting while doing 50 miles per hour, not seeing the stop sign clearly ahead of you, sending you into a brick wall of a building.
  • he nodded his head, walking into the room waiting for the door to close before he dropped to his knees and screamed to the top of his lungs
  • it was the only way to take the pain out of his heart without inflicting pain on himself, something he promised you he would never do.
  • “I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE HELL I’M GOING TO DO WITHOUT YOU MC, YOU BETTER WAKE UP!”
  • he always kept himself up, he was either pacing the room, rocking in the corner, or gripping your hand as if his life depended on it
  • his brother always came in to check on him, bringing him food and drinks that he never ate (he only consumed them once in a while, if his stomach felt the need to hold something down.)
  • then came the 6 month mark, and you still weren’t up.
  • “Mr. Choi, I think it’s best to let MC pass, it’s their time, they’re not waking up any time soon.” 
  • Not on my watch. MC WILL WAKE UP!
  • the doctor quickly left the room before Saeran had another metal breakdown, like he did every other day
  • but then, one month later, you woke up.
  • “Saeran? What the hell-” 
  • “MC I KNEW YOU’D WAKE UP, THANK YOU MY LORD!” 
  • he hugged you for what seemed like forever, before vaguely telling you about the accident before getting too worked up
  • you hugged him again, petting his hair until he calmed down enough to finish explaining
  • “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Saeran, I should’ve waited to leave or, or-”
  • “No…MC…it wasn’t your fault. But I’m never letting you go out on your own, if you leave me, what will I have left?”
  • and from that day forward you two were practical attached at the hip, if you had a girls night out with Jaehee he’d tag along, if he needed to go somewhere you’d tag along with him, and you both were happy since you both knew you were safe 24/7


<whew, this one took a lot out of me, but i love angst with a positive ending!! i feel like they progressively got longer and longer, so if there is any need for a redo let me know! I’m also still not 100% on my V or Unknown writing skills yet..so feedback on those would be great. thank you so so much for this wonderful request, darling!!♡>

Brighter than sunshine

Originally posted by jibeom

A/N: literally no one asked but i listened to begin and i watched the mv for blood sweat and tears and i’ve just been feeling soft about jungkook lately. btw the title is a reference to the aqualung song. i listened to it and it just felt right for this fic. hope you all enjoy!

wc: ~4.4K

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I Give my Whole Heart to You

Summary: Phil is incredibly nervous to be proposing to Dan.  It’s something he’s dreamed of for so long, he can’t help but ramble a bit as he asks Dan to marry him.  But spending forever with Dan is something Phil is sure he isn’t afraid of.

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: none :)

A/N: Okay so long rambling proposals are kinda my favourite, so this prompt was perfect! I had a lot of fun writing something so pure and happy, and I hope you enjoy reading it :)

He was finally going to do it.  Tonight was the night that Phil Lester was finally going to propose to Dan Howell.

And he couldn’t remember a time that he had been more nervous.

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fic: Hail to the Chief., 1/1. (AU; Captain Swan.)

presidential campaign AU, with speechwriter-Killian and volunteer-Emma!
9,882 words | adult | AO3

a/n: This came out of almost nowhere at lunchtime yesterday, and I was hellbent on getting it done, because it’s kind of timely. On the other hand, if you’re reading this, and you’re eligible and able to vote, but haven’t done so yet, please go do that instead. :D 

It’s not really altruism that led her here.

Or, well, not entirely altruism.

Because while you can be hungry, tired, and homeless and still want good things for the country, you have to prioritize, and finding yourself a place to sleep for the night beats finding a rich politician a place to sleep for the next four years.

It does turn out, however, that helping that politician often comes with free pizza and that sleeping in the campaign office — whether or not it’s because you don’t have anywhere else to go — is the mark of a dedicated volunteer.

Dedicated enough to accidentally end up on the payroll.

And that is what actually led her here.

To election night in New York City and Killian Jones’ hand on her breast in the moment after they call Nevada for Mills.

(Of course, a lot of stuff happened in between.)

Keep reading

he’s four years old (harvey/mike) - for anon

Mike never thought he’d be back here.

Those few days he spent roaming the Harvard campus, trying to pick up tidbits of information he might need to try and validate the lie of a life he was about to live, felt like forever ago. He was a different man now. If you had’ve found Mike that day and told him that nearly a decade later he’d be married to the man that hired him and they’d have an adorable son whom Mike loved more than anything in this life, well, that Mike probably would’ve wondered if he still had some drugs lingering in his system.

To be honest he doesn’t know how he feels about being back on Harvard grounds. He can see a sense of contentment settle over Harvey, a feeling of nostalgia he doesn’t normally succumb to working its magic on him. He can see the excitement on Emmett’s face, thrilled at the newness of it all and captivated by the expanses of snow covered grounds before him. But for Mike, Harvard has always been a shadow in the corner of his mind, a reminder of how different things could’ve gone had he just been better.

But then Harvey’s fingers slide through his, and Mike turns to look at his husband, and he knows that if he’d made it here when he was meant to then he never would’ve met Harvey. And that is a scenario that is simply unacceptable.

They’re back here because Harvey has been asked to do some guest lecturing, and they decided to make a mini vacation of it. They’re using Cambridge as their base and then exploring the local area along with doing some day trips further afield. Harvey has already told him about several places he remembers from his Harvard days that he wants to show Mike, and Mike might have done some research about what other interesting places they could visit while they were here. They haven’t gotten out of Manhattan in so long, and he thinks all three of them could use this break away from everyday life.

Poor Emmett vacillated between uncontrollable excitement and utter boredom the whole drive here, but now that they’ve arrived and he can run around the snow covered quad he’s definitely back to uncontrollable excitement. Mike’s happy to let him burn off some energy. He still hasn’t decided if he’ll attend Harvey’s lectures - Harvey asked him to come along, and he’s sure Emmett could behave himself for an hour if they sat quietly in the back - but he doesn’t need to decide either way yet. For now they can just wander along the grounds, together and content.

“I’d forgotten how beautiful it was,” Mike admits.

Harvey makes a noise of assent, and when Mike follows his gaze he sees Harvey is watching Emmett, rolling around in the snow and laughing his head off. It does something to Mike, the fact that Harvey has returned to a place with which he speaks of nothing but fondness, and yet he still can’t take his eyes off their son.

“Hey,” Mike says, tugging on Harvey’s hand, and Harvey meets his eyes. Mike leans over and kisses him. “I’m glad we’re here.”

Harvey grins. “Me too,” he says, and Harvey is the one to close the gap between them this time.

They’re interrupted from what would probably be an inappropriately long make out by Emmett running into their legs. They break apart, laughing, and Emmett grabs Mike’s hand and tugs, saying, “Let’s go!”

They let Emmett lead them away, and Harvey says, “I think Emmett will like studying here.”

“He’s four years old,” Mike points out. “It’s a little too early to start planning his college future.”

“It’s never too early,” Harvey says, and Mike can’t help but roll his eyes. “Plus, he’s a legacy, with two lawyers for fathers. No way is he going to be something other than a lawyer.”

“Emmett will be whatever he wants to be and we will support him one hundred percent,” Mike says, not a little firmly. He probably wouldn’t have been so insistent if Harvey hadn’t made the two lawyers for fathers comment (and in all honestly it’s not like he himself hasn’t thought that Emmett might grow up to be a lawyer before). But Mike hasn’t been a lawyer in four years, he’ll never practice law again, and he can’t help but wonder what they’ll tell Emmett when he grows up, the truth about how they met, about Mike’s past.

“Hey, Mike, what is it?” Harvey asks, concern clear in his voice.

Mike shakes his head. “Nothing.”

“No it’s not. Talk to me.”

Mike lets out a deep sigh, takes a moment to watch Emmett as he runs ahead of them before coming back, grinning the whole time. “Emmett will be going to school soon.”

Harvey looks confused by the apparent non sequitur. “Yeah…”

“I guess I’ve just been … I can’t go back to being a lawyer, but as much as I love you and Emmett I don’t want to spend the rest of my life being a stay at home dad either. I need to get back out there, start working again. I just … I don’t know as what.”

Harvey nods thoughtfully. “You don’t have to work, Mike. No, let me finish,” he quickly adds when Mike tries to cut him off. “You don’t need to work, which means you don’t have to rush into it. Take your time, think about what you want to do, maybe even see if you want to go back to school and study for a bit. Whatever you want, I’ll support you.”

Mike smiles warmly. “I know you will.”

“Just like I’ll support our son even if he decides to give up his birthright and not come to Harvard.”

Mike chuckles. “Well, like I said, he’s only four. It’s a pretty impressionable age. Who knows, maybe this vacation will imprint on his mind and he’ll grow up wanting to come back here.”

Harvey grins. “Fingers crossed.”