i've lost that much in a day

I highly resent all my academic choices over the last four years for one reason. I resent them for the sole reason that I work so hard during the semester that my entire mental health takes a dip when I get a break. My whole mentality just wants more work because it derives meaning, structure, and purpose.

To those of you who have issues with this feast or famine style semester, make sure you:
-get a good amount of sleep, not too much that your sleeping schedule is skewed and not to little that you feel like you’re still in the middle of your semester.
-eat properly, overeating and under eating are both bad
-have daily tasks assigned to yourself.
-but creative
-please your skills sharp
-actually try to relax.

This is going to seem like a weird post but Happy Mother’s Day to the kids who brought themselves up. Happy Mother’s Day to the kids who didn’t have a mum there to help them for whatever reason and so had to grow up too fast when they should have been messing about and being children. Happy Mother’s Day to anyone whose mother isn’t perfect, but made mistakes and is learning to be better. Happy Mother’s Day to those who’ve decided to give their mum a second chance. Happy Mother’s Day to those who’ve made the decision to cut contact and stop hoping for a miracle. Happy Mother’s Day to the people who are scared of being mothers themselves because they never had a good example set and they’re scared of repeating the same mistakes (you don’t have to be like her, you can do so much better). Happy Mother’s Day to the young mothers who didn’t plan on being parents at this age but are dealing with that huge shock and doing their best under difficult circumstances. Happy Mother’s Day to those who are being made to feel guilty for not loving their mothers at all. Happy Mother’s Day to the kids that essentially brought up their younger siblings but will never have that acknowledged. Happy Mother’s Day to those that have lost a mother and miss her every day, but are pushing on regardless, trying to hold things together. I care about you all very much. 

Dissociation tiers

Disclaimer: These are based on my own experiences and what I’ve read of other people’s experiences. I am not a doctor, nor do I represent anyone but myself who experiences dissociation/depersonalization/derealization. Some of these points may assume an abled body, as that is the type of body I have and am familiar with. Tier 0 also assumes no other mental/neurological disorders, which is untrue to my own brain but used for simplicity’s sake. Very simplistic list in general, mainly due to it being a list.

Tier 0

  • No brain fog.
  • No visual fog.
  • Senses are generally clear.
  • Reflection is recognizable.
  • Friends and family are recognizable.
  • When you touch something, you feel it immediately.
  • Everything is the correct distance away.
  • You can walk easily.
  • You can speak and easily understand yourself.
  • You can easily understand others when they speak.
  • You can multitask.
  • You are not detached from the world in any way.
  • Memory is mostly consistent.

Tier 1

  • Mild brain fog.
  • Visual fog is minimal or nonexistent.
  • Some other senses may be dulled, such as smell.
  • You know your reflection is your reflection, but you may not have a connection to it.
  • You can recognize your friends and family, but you might have to think about it.
  • Sense of touch may have minimal lag.
  • The floor may seem closer or further than normal.
  • The world in general may seem too close or too far, but not debilitatingly so.
  • Walking may require some focus.
  • Voice may feel thick in your mouth, but no one else seems concerned.
  • Other people’s voices may seem far away or too loud.
  • Multitasking is difficult, but doable.
  • You’re slightly detached from the world.
  • Memories are harder to hold on to.

Tier 2

  • Moderate brain fog; thinking is becoming difficult.
  • The world may seem significantly grayer or fuzzier.
  • Other senses are dulled to some degree.
  • You cognitively know your reflection is supposed to be you, but it doesn’t seem right.
  • You can’t immediately recognize your friends and family. They could be who you think they are, but you aren’t sure.
  • When you touch something, a lag of about a second or more occurs before you recognize any feeling, or even that you touched anything at all.
  • All distances are wrong. The floor is wrong, objects are wrong, other people are wrong, etc.
  • You need to focus to get one place to another.
  • Other people may notice differences in your speech. You might not be able to.
  • You aren’t always sure people are speaking the same language as any you know. You might ask them to repeat themselves more than once.
  • You can do one task at most without extreme difficulty and/or slowness.
  • You feel as though you and the world are on separate planes.
  • You can’t remember much from these points in time. You might even have “lost time.”

Tier 3

  • You’ve lost all memory of this point.
  • Friends say you acted off, but that’s all you know.

Thanks for reading.

4

Since you lost your vision, he’s been anxiously sitting there the whole time…..

How can I make up for it…..Fuzzy?

I guess I’ll play ball with you!

anonymous asked:

poetry book recs, kind sir?

ooooooh YES!! 

ok so I’m going to leave out stuff that’s Too Obvious, which means a lot of this is niche (to me) or contemporary, and… I recently had a canary on twitter about how much ~*~modern~*~ poetry GETS MY GOAT. I’m reading a lot of New poets/collections this year purely because I… didn’t really read that much contemporary stuff before, and I thought I should branch out. (so far I’m dubious.) so, yes – obviously Plath, Blake, Hughes, Sappho, Eliot, Keats, Shelley, etc. etc. ad nauseum, The Greats, yadda yadda, here’s some others.

so far this year I’ve read (and ENJOYED - I’m not reccing the ones I wasn’t into/thought were pants, soz): 

  • Letters From Medea by Salma Deera
  • Grief Is the Thing with Feathers by Max Porter
  • Hold Your Own by Kate Tempest (I actually LOVED this) 
  • Mouthful of Forevers by Clementine von Radics
  • War of the Foxes by Richard Siken (of YOU’RE SITTING IN A CAR WITH A BEAUTIFUL BOY, AND HE WON’T TELL YOU THAT HE LOVES YOU, BUT HE LOVES YOU fame) 

I’ve also read and loved:

  • Teaching My Mother How to Give Birth by Warsan Shire
  • The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy by Tim Burton
  • The Curse of the Vampire’s Socks and Other Doggerel by Terry Jones
  • Love Poems by Carol Ann Duffy
  • Let Us Compare Mythologies by Leonard Cohen

my personal 10/10 all-time go-tos are:

  • Crush by Richard Siken (despite appearing on every single tumblr graphic between 2011 and 2013, it still gets me in the heart guts)
  • The World’s Wife by Carol Ann Duffy (which I have loved wholeheartedly since I was 17 years old)
  • pretty much any collection of Great War poetry: Up the Line to Death, Men Who March Away, Lads: Love Poetry of the Trenches (the Great War poets are my favourite. like, of all poetry, ever)

my favourite individual poems, as we’re on the subj, are: 

finally, a heads up: youtube literally anything by Brave New Voices, sit back, prepare to be Shook. ‘Transcript of Civil Rights’ by Shanita Jackson and Dakota Oder still DESTROYS ME five years later.

THERE YA GO. not much, but not nothing! enjoy!! maybe?!?

i’m still mad that the end of trespasser made it seem 99.9% likely that the inquisitor would be the main protagonist of da4 because?? it would just make the most sense if they’re going after solas but good ol bioware my friend my pal bioware just had to be like “trespasser is actually the end of the inquisitor’s story :)” binch HOW,

probably-tryingtoohard  asked:

Hi! I have an Instagram myself, and although I practice an (extremely stringent) "if-you-steal-art-I-unfollow" policy, I know that doesn't really help the stealing problem--one follower lost is probably nothing to these accounts thriving off of stolen work. Instagram doesn't seem to have an option (trust me, I've looked) for stealing other people's content. How can I report someone for taking art? (Gosh, you have no idea how much those people tick. me. off.) Thanks!

Originally posted by totallynotadeadpool

Knowing that people like you exist is honestly the ONLY thing some days that keeps me from leaving this fandom and all its art theft issues. Bless you, my comrade <3 <3 <3

3 Things You Can Do To Fight Art Theft:

1. Comment (without harassing). Many art thieves try to pretend they “don’t know” who the artist is, or that they “don’t know” reposting isn’t allowed (even when it’s written right on the image). Calling them out by posting a link to the original, tagging the artist, or even simply stating ‘this belongs to [ARTIST] and they don’t allow reposts’ is sometimes enough to get an art thief to delete a repost (to avoid copyright strikes). 

2. Link the artist. Send us a link so that we can report the art as stolen. You can also make a notifying callout post (again, careful not to harass) if it’s an account that steals from a lot of artists. However, dealing with tons of people treating you and your art like dirt can get really stressful (I know it’s ruined my day more than once), so sometimes you can also…

3. …Report “on behalf of the owner”. If you know an artist absolutely doesn’t allow reposts (for example, me), you can save them tons of time and stress by filling out a copyright claim on their behalf. All you need is a link to the original (most of my stuff is in my /tagged/my-stuff tag), and to tick the box that says you’re ‘authorized to report on behalf of the copyright owner’ (actual wording varies from site to site). When making a report, it’s absolutely vital that you know for sure the image was reposted without permission. I never give permission to repost (especially on Insta, Pinterest, WeHeartIt, etc.), so any of my art you see there is stolen, and you can report it. Buttons to look for include “report”, “this doesn’t belong on ____”, “this violates my intellectual copyright/terms of service”, and sometimes “inappropriate content”.

One advantage that art thieves have over artists is that there’s only so much a single artist can report (or emotionally handle) in a single day. Art thieves take advantage of that to get away with stealing. But if we all band together, we can take stolen posts down, get repeat offenders’ accounts deleted, and make this fandom a happier, fairer place to be.

Btw, thank you SO much to my followers who always have my back, and who I always see doing these 3 things above. You guys are ANGELS and you don’t know how many times a message like this, or a comment defending my art, etc. has kept me from jumping ship (and just not posting my art online anymore). You guys are so awesome, and I’m so grateful for each and every one of you. <3 <3

Originally posted by yourreactiongifs

anonymous asked:

I've been gone like a week and so much has happened apparently? Please help me i'm lost

I s2g TJLC is the wildest fuckin’ ride. Every time I think the conspiracy can’t get any deeper new shit pops up. At this point I’ve just accepted that this whole thing is more complex and mad than I ever could have imagined so all bets are off.

Short summary of this week in TJLC (29th Jan - 4th Feb):

(Which probably doesn’t include everything, because seven days in Johnlock time is like seven years in the actual world):

The Case of the Duplicate Man — aka., the Duplicate Steve?

Steve Thompson, the screenwriter for TRF, is most likely not real and is a pseudonym for Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss. Either that, or Mofftiss have been keeping this man hidden in the Basement for the past five years.

Derren Brown’s involvement with TRF/S4

Derren Brown, the mentalist and illusionist, has likely been involved with integrating narrative rug pulls into the show since TRF. (Probably collaborating with Moffat and Gatiss under the Steve Thompson pseudonym as well.) It’s likely that the events that occurred in TRF/leading up to TRF were set up to parallel and work into Season 4.

Snapper Films’ new production “Sherlock North”

Sherlock North, the concept for a new show, popped up in Variety on the 2nd Feb. Basically an AU where Sherlock lives in Finland and John is genderbent to be “Johanna Watson”. We’re still on the fence as to whether it’s fake or not, but personally I’m leaning towards the former.

The show itself is causing quite a stir because it’s likely that John has just been made a woman for the sole purpose of introducing a romantic subplot. Almost as if you can’t have a romance unless it’s heterosexual … Hm. Anyway. There’s quite a bit of evidence suggesting that the show may just be part of the ARG or a prank of some sort, the most incriminating being the show’s promo picture, which is literally just some stock images photoshopped together.

The Season 1 Script Release

Probably the most important development in the conspiracy this week: the BBC has released the scripts for season one, except they appear to have been thoroughly tampered with, beyond the typical script-to-screen discrepancies. They’re full of typos, fake scenes, and quite a bit of mischaracterisation of John. Most notably, the dates have been changed for the serial suicides in ASiP to correspond to entries on John’s blog. This key calls back to Eurus’ game with the “funny gravestones” in TFP.

The “His Last Vow” Emmy’s Script Release

Funnily enough, at the same time that the BBC released the scripts to S1 we also happened to stumble upon the script for His Last Vow that had supposedly been submitted for award consideration to the Emmys. This script also appears to have been tampered with, especially in terms of the contrast between Mary’s coding as a villain on screen vs. her coding as a ‘hero’ figure in the script. Not to mention the fact that Mycroft at one point states “you know what we did to our sister” as opposed to “the other one” – which doesn’t make any sense because it implies that Mofftiss leaked their supposed “big plot twist” two years prior to TFP. Not to mention the pronoun “we”. The whole thing is deliberately made to feel off.

- The scripts in general are pretty jam-packed full of clues, misdirections, and Johnlock subtext, not to mention the hilarious denial of such subtext including the, now iconic, “proper, manly embrace” on the tarmac.

- Notable Johnlock script subtext: [1], [2], [3], [4], [5], [6], [7], [8], [9], [10], [11], [12], [13], [14],
- Notable villain!Mary script subtext: [1], [2], [3], [4], [5],
- Other relevant details (”M” theory/discrepancies/extra scenes/ foreshadowing etc.): [1], [2], [3], [4], [5], [6], [7], [8], [9], [10],
- Bonus: [1], [2]

As of now? We’re at a bit of an impasse. Waiting for Mofftiss to make the next move.

Dare I say — Mood?

Originally posted by sherlockspeare

I think it’s important to note and interesting that I can’t recall it being mentioned in discussions on Wufei that his colony, L5-A0205, was going to be the colony they dropped in the original Operation Meteor.

Let that sink in.

It was Wufei’s home they were going to drop on Earth.

I think this a wildly huge factor in understanding Wufei and his motivations/actions. So let’s get all up in this shit.

(also just an fyi, all of what I say is based off of the english dub at this time, since I’m finding it hard to find subs that don’t feel like they’re dub script subs.)

Keep reading

2

Imagine being told that the universe is full of light.
Once you open your eyes, the light will guide you and comfort you in your darkest moments.
Now, imagine realizing that the light exists, but that you’re blind, you’ve always been blind, and you’re never going to see anything.

» Theron Shan, The Lost Suns

My oc Asim and @oreowarrior ’s oc Estelle at a cafe with Estelle probably drinking hot chocolate.

Asim wants to help Estelle gain King Lucien’s heart but the best plan he could come up with is to pretend to die in Lucien’s arm so he confesses his feelings to her.

anonymous asked:

Hi there! I'm a girl and I'd like to become a coder one day. I have great eye for details and form what I've gathered I could be good at it. Now the thing is... what advice do you have for beginners? I want to find out whether this is 100% right for me and I don't even know where to stary. I tried a bit of Python and C++, but there is so much out there that I'm lost. I'm planning to apply for computer science or engineering, but I'd like to start now :) would you have any advice? thanks a lot!

Hey!

First of all, coding is awesome, you’ll love it! Second, for tips on how to begin coding, look at my advice page here, the first category has some posts about that.

Now regarding the “being 100% sure” thing: I understand that you (and people in general) want to make sure you’re doing the right thing and not wasting your own time before you start to seriously get into something. The thing is, though: You’ll never know if something is 100% right for you. You just won’t. There will be times when you’re like “Man, this is so great, how could I ever do something else?” but there will also be times when you’re doubting your decision, your abilities, everything. And that’s normal! Especially compsci is so very frustrating from time to time - you can’t get your code to run, the algorithm is just so complicated, you don’t understand what the damn compiler wants to tell you and none of your friends know the language you use… Ugh. But you learn from these experiences (even if it’s just how to google your errors better) and soon you’ll probably be in the “this is amazing” stage again. So don’t let these setbacks discourage you, especially at the beginning! If you discover that doing this constantly is not something you want, then coding and compsci is probably not for you, but you should give it a change first.

Another point that many young people who are still in school often don’t see or forget, is that you can try things out. You can start studying compsci and after a year switch to physics or economics if you find that suits you better. You can study biology and work in that field for 10 years before going back and studying compsci and you’ll probably be fine. Life isn’t as set as grown-ups would like you to believe. So if you choose compsci and it doesn’t work out, take your experiences and start something else. You didn’t waste your time, you learned something about yourself on top of the “skills” you acquired.

Coming back to “where do I begin”: I’d recommend continuing with Python, because C++ is not as widely used and can be quite hard to understand. Codecademy has free online courses where you do some actual programming during the course, so that’s a good place to start. Then, you should try to come up with a small program/project you want to write and build it from the ground up. The only way to become a better programmer is to program.

Good luck! And don’t hesitate to send me another ask. :)

I lost my health insurance. I don’t know why, but I got the letter today in the mail stating it was because I got insurance from another company. Which is a lie, I did not. If I did, I wouldn’t have been using that shitty insurance, to begin with. I can’t get ANY of my medications now, and I just got them into paying more into my insulin so I would have to pay so much. I can’t believe this. I’m almost out of insulin now and I can’t afford insurance right now.  

I don’t want to do any more donations, but I don’t want to die. My family won’t help me. I don’t know what to do. My insulin is 409$ at the pharmacy now since the insurance people aren’t paying for it. I’m going to check around town tomorrow, maybe call my doctor again, and see if I can’t get a cheaper alternative. I might go to Walmart and get their insulin, but it’s just…shit. Honestly shit. But if it results to that, so be it.

If you can donate, please, please help me, but don’t donate a lot if you don’t have it. If you can’t donate, reblog. That’s all I ask. My paypal is cassieemmert@hotmail.com

Cas cheering up Sam
  • Sam: *is sad*
  • Cas: Do you want to talk about it?
  • Sam: I just... I feel like I've lost so much, you know?
  • Cas: I know. I wish there was something I could do.... Actually, maybe there is something.
  • Sam: Cas, you don't have to do anything.
  • Cas: But I know something that might help. It will take a little bit of time, though. Expect me back in a few days.
  • -A few days later-
  • Cas: Sam, I have something for you.
  • Sam: What is it?
  • Cas: I have found... your shoe. *holds out shoe*
  • Sam: *happy tears* Cas... I can't believe it.
  • Cas: *kneels down and puts the shoe on Sam's foot*

anonymous asked:

I'm taking a creative writing course at university and need to submit my final portfolio (25,000 words of my novel) in a few months' time. I'm also hoping to finish the whole thing soon and start the process of getting it published. Thing is, I've become so depressed (doctor appointment this week, don't worry) that I've lost all will to write. I'll get up in the morning and KNOW that I should go and write, and I want to do anything but. Afraid I'm not good enough, how much work I have to do etc.

I have my battles with depression as well. Sometimes I panic when I wake up, because I rather sleep than face another day of work. Sometimes writing is exhausting. Sometimes I get stuck with one paragraph and I can’t write past it. 

When I find myself in this situation, I write longhand.

I grab a nice pen, a notebook, and I find a comfortable spot where I can doodle and daydream until words start flowing. It’s funny how our brain works when we write by hand. It’s not that easy to erase, so we are forced to move on with the story. There’s no distraction, because, let’s be honest, internet is amazing, but it’s also a curse. Or an addiction. Also, the computer screen causes anxiety… especially Word and Scrivener with their blank page facing you like judging your lack of focus. Paper is nicer.

Originally posted by ofallingstar

So, try longhand, it may help you through. 

During the editing phase, give yourself small goals and small rewards everyday. Take lots of breaks, like every twenty minutes. Turn off the internet. And respect your pace.        

anonymous asked:

Hey Sea Fam, I'm confused about whether cis ace/aro people are welcome in the LGBT+ community. I've been seeing a lot of hate and arguments and it's confusing me so much, I thought being ace/aro meant you are part of it even if you are cis? (Sorry if this is a stupid question, I've just been really lost)

Gatekeepers of any kind aren’t worth the time of day. There’s people who need help and problems that need solving. Aces and Aros are absolutely part of the community, period. They always have been, before the words “asexual” and “aromantic” even became used for identities. They’re definitely welcome.

-Lou the Lobster