This is going to seem like a weird post but Happy Mother’s Day to the kids who brought themselves up. Happy Mother’s Day to the kids who didn’t have a mum there to help them for whatever reason and so had to grow up too fast when they should have been messing about and being children. Happy Mother’s Day to anyone whose mother isn’t perfect, but made mistakes and is learning to be better. Happy Mother’s Day to those who’ve decided to give their mum a second chance. Happy Mother’s Day to those who’ve made the decision to cut contact and stop hoping for a miracle. Happy Mother’s Day to the people who are scared of being mothers themselves because they never had a good example set and they’re scared of repeating the same mistakes (you don’t have to be like her, you can do so much better). Happy Mother’s Day to the young mothers who didn’t plan on being parents at this age but are dealing with that huge shock and doing their best under difficult circumstances. Happy Mother’s Day to those who are being made to feel guilty for not loving their mothers at all. Happy Mother’s Day to the kids that essentially brought up their younger siblings but will never have that acknowledged. Happy Mother’s Day to those that have lost a mother and miss her every day, but are pushing on regardless, trying to hold things together. I care about you all very much.
Disclaimer: These are based on my own experiences and what I’ve read of other people’s experiences. I am not a doctor, nor do I represent anyone but myself who experiences dissociation/depersonalization/derealization. Some of these points may assume an abled body, as that is the type of body I have and am familiar with. Tier 0 also assumes no other mental/neurological disorders, which is untrue to my own brain but used for simplicity’s sake. Very simplistic list in general, mainly due to it being a list.
No brain fog.
No visual fog.
Senses are generally clear.
Reflection is recognizable.
Friends and family are recognizable.
When you touch something, you feel it immediately.
Everything is the correct distance away.
You can walk easily.
You can speak and easily understand yourself.
You can easily understand others when they speak.
You can multitask.
You are not detached from the world in any way.
Memory is mostly consistent.
Mild brain fog.
Visual fog is minimal or nonexistent.
Some other senses may be dulled, such as smell.
You know your reflection is your reflection, but you may not have a connection to it.
You can recognize your friends and family, but you might have to think about it.
Sense of touch may have minimal lag.
The floor may seem closer or further than normal.
The world in general may seem too close or too far, but not debilitatingly so.
Walking may require some focus.
Voice may feel thick in your mouth, but no one else seems concerned.
Other people’s voices may seem far away or too loud.
Multitasking is difficult, but doable.
You’re slightly detached from the world.
Memories are harder to hold on to.
Moderate brain fog; thinking is becoming difficult.
The world may seem significantly grayer or fuzzier.
Other senses are dulled to some degree.
You cognitively know your reflection is supposed to be you, but it doesn’t seem right.
You can’t immediately recognize your friends and family. They could be who you think they are, but you aren’t sure.
When you touch something, a lag of about a second or more occurs before you recognize any feeling, or even that you touched anything at all.
All distances are wrong. The floor is wrong, objects are wrong, other people are wrong, etc.
You need to focus to get one place to another.
Other people may notice differences in your speech. You might not be able to.
You aren’t always sure people are speaking the same language as any you know. You might ask them to repeat themselves more than once.
You can do one task at most without extreme difficulty and/or slowness.
You feel as though you and the world are on separate planes.
You can’t remember much from these points in time. You might even have “lost time.”
You’ve lost all memory of this point.
Friends say you acted off, but that’s all you know.
you told me i use your words against you
and i don’t know how to explain
that’s just what poets do.
they find any reason to keep clinging to a sentence
because “you are beautiful” means more to us in essence
and love is more than just a word, it’s a string of feelings
that never end, never end, never end and
if you are ending this, we don’t want to hear it
because you never loved us then
and “leave me alone” sounds more like a death threat
and if you said it once, we’ll think you want us dead–
we never forget, we never forget, we never forget so
you have to be careful what you say to us
and i know that’s why you don’t know how to open up.
god, i know how frustrating it must be
when it’s 2 a.m. and you’re crying
and the next day, you find a poem about it held up for everyone to see -
you see a poem about the way i held your tears like galaxies -
and i think i’m being kind but anything that makes you feel too revealed
makes you feel vulnerable makes you feel unright makes you feel uneasy
because i take your words and thread them into my skin.
i find a home in them. i take them as fact
and you’ll never read this because you stopped reading my poetry
but if i could write you a poem you’d read, it’d start and end with “i’m sorry”
because i never asked to be like this: gripping onto every meaningless lip movement
and trying to find meaning in it - people like me
always make something out of nothing and never let go of something
and when a poet falls in love with you, nothing you say ever dies
even when you want nothing more than for it to die
so here i am,
touching your scars again, touching your scars again, touching your scars
and holding them to mine and
laughing as the blood spills out of our bruises and
repeating i love you as if you’re going to take it the same way i do
and you don’t say it back because you know i’ll take it wrong,
know i’ll take it as if you and i are getting back together again,
know i’ll take it and exaggerate it and hold it against you and
so you're pretending you and i never existed, pretending i don’t exist,
pretending i will not write about this, pretending you never wanted
someone who feels this much, well, you never did.
you never wanted this.
i guess this is me coming to terms with the fact that you never wanted this
and this is me coming to terms with that fact that
i’ll never stop being a poet and you’ll never stop forgetting
and i’ll never stop remembering all of the bad things you did
and reading old text messages and
you’ll always be the kind of person who sweeps things under the rug.
i guess i’ve always been too loud for you– too much fight and fury
and words and words and words and
i vomit them up like i have nothing to lose but
i’ve got everything to lose
and i’ve already lost you.
you said you’d be here forever
and i can’t get it out of my mind
because you lied you lied you lied
and i never lied. not one time,
but i guess in your world, the only thing worse than lying
is being too honest
and you don’t want to be held accountable for your words and actions
and you know what, that’s fine.
it’s just that being a poet has ruined my life.
what would my life be like if i didn’t feel too much?
ok so I’m going to leave out stuff that’s Too Obvious, which means a lot of this is niche (to me) or contemporary, and… I recently had a canary on twitter about how much ~*~modern~*~ poetry GETS MY GOAT. I’m reading a lot of New poets/collections this year purely because I… didn’t really read that much contemporary stuff before, and I thought I should branch out. (so far I’m dubious.) so, yes – obviously Plath, Blake, Hughes, Sappho, Eliot, Keats, Shelley, etc. etc. ad nauseum, The Greats, yadda yadda, here’s some others.
so far this year I’ve read (and ENJOYED - I’m not reccing the ones I wasn’t into/thought were pants, soz):
Letters From Medea by Salma Deera
Grief Is the Thing with Feathers by Max Porter
Hold Your Own by Kate Tempest (I actually LOVED this)
Mouthful of Forevers by Clementine von Radics
War of the Foxes by Richard Siken (of YOU’RE SITTING IN A CAR WITH A BEAUTIFUL BOY, AND HE WON’T TELL YOU THAT HE LOVES YOU, BUT HE LOVES YOU fame)
I’ve also read and loved:
Teaching My Mother How to Give Birth by Warsan Shire
The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy by Tim Burton
The Curse of the Vampire’s Socks and Other Doggerel by Terry Jones
Love Poems by Carol Ann Duffy
Let Us Compare Mythologies by Leonard Cohen
my personal 10/10 all-time go-tos are:
Crush by Richard Siken (despite appearing on every single tumblr graphic between 2011 and 2013, it still gets me in the heart guts)
The World’s Wife by Carol Ann Duffy (which I have loved wholeheartedly since I was 17 years old)
pretty much any collection of Great War poetry: Up the Line to Death, Men Who March Away, Lads: Love Poetry of the Trenches (the Great War poets are my favourite. like, of all poetry, ever)
my favourite individual poems, as we’re on the subj, are:
i’m still mad that the end of trespasser made it seem 99.9% likely that the inquisitor would be the main protagonist of da4 because?? it would just make the most sense if they’re going after solas but good ol bioware my friend my pal bioware just had to be like “trespasser is actually the end of the inquisitor’s story :)” binch HOW,
I'm currently studying engineering and I can't seem to get myself to do the course work or Qs. I've tried change of scenery and all the other study tips but it hasn't been working? What could I do to clarify my goals? I've written them down lots of times. Some have suggested taking time off uni and working and maybe see if I like something else but I've always wanted to do this degree and unsure why I've just lost interest :/ Also you're blog is the best <3 It's helped me so much in the past!
Hey there! I am glad you’ve found my blog useful for your studies so far! :) This is a really common experience of many university students.
The thing is that when you think about the degree that you’d like to do, you’re thinking big picture; you’re thinking about the type of subjects you have an interest in quite vaguely tbvh, and you’re picturing what type of job you’d like to have at the end of the day.
But the truth is that the job you want at the end of the day actually requires a whole host of background knowledge. A lot of what you study is going to be something extremely specific; as you progress throughout high school, you go from basic sciences to substreams of chemistry, physics and biology. Then when you get to university, there’s like even more specific substreams of each, like analytical chem, organic chem, inorganic chem, physical chem and biochem.
And the annoying thing about this increasing specificity is that it feels as if you don’t need to know it. It feels like you’re grinding through what seems to be very niche and very specific content that only has limited purposes. Think: soil mechanics when you want to work as an engineer for Sydney Water. Think: learning about sunglass tint safety requirements when you want to become a contact lens specialist. Think: panel data regression when you want to work at Deloitte.
Not all of the knowledge will be what you need in your future job, but it may be needed for another fellow student in your degree. Most likely it will be needed for higher level courses.
Honestly, you need to realise that the degree may not even that much more interesting, but you’re getting a degree in order to qualify for a very well-paid and hopefully rewarding jobat the end of the day. You’re making excuses when at the end of the day, you just need to sit down and nut those questions out. You can try all the study tips, and 100% they do help, but without discipline, you can’t really get yourself to answer all the questions, no matter how many gummy bears you try to eat to motivate yourself.
Studying is romanticised as well; people think that if you choose something that you like, studying will come naturally and that you’ll never find sitting down for an hour after each lecture writing study notes is tedious. That’s completely not true. It’s a grind, revising for exams is a grind, and university is a grind. It’s even boring sometimes.
There’s times where you’ll learn interesting things that really ignite your passion, that’s a given, but a lot of times you just really need the discipline to actually do your homework.
That’s definitely what it sounds like at the end of the day when you are saying that it’s a degree that you’ve always wanted to do. If you’ve tried all the ‘study hacks’ and all the ‘make studying easy!’ and ‘instant-motivation!’ tips and nothing works, you just need to go back to basics. Take breaks (important!), refresh yourself, and then sit down and do the work, and at the end of the day you’ll be proud of what you achieve.
Of course, do be aware that sometimes it really is the fact that the degree is not what you want to be at the end of those years, and that changing degrees is always an option, though it should never be your first consideration.
I hope that helps! Sorry if it’s not what you wanted to hear, but sometimes we all need something that will just get us to do the work. Best of luck!
Hi! I have an Instagram myself, and although I practice an (extremely stringent) "if-you-steal-art-I-unfollow" policy, I know that doesn't really help the stealing problem--one follower lost is probably nothing to these accounts thriving off of stolen work. Instagram doesn't seem to have an option (trust me, I've looked) for stealing other people's content. How can I report someone for taking art? (Gosh, you have no idea how much those people tick. me. off.) Thanks!
Knowing that people like you exist is honestly the ONLY thing some days that keeps me from leaving this fandom and all its art theft issues. Bless you, my comrade <3 <3 <3
3 Things You Can Do To Fight Art Theft:
1. Comment (without harassing). Many art thieves try to pretend they “don’t know” who the artist is, or that they “don’t know” reposting isn’t allowed (even when it’s written right on the image). Calling them out by posting a link to the original, tagging the artist, or even simply stating ‘this belongs to [ARTIST] and they don’t allow reposts’ is sometimes enough to get an art thief to delete a repost (to avoid copyright strikes).
2. Link the artist. Send us a link so that we can report the art as stolen. You can also make a notifying callout post (again, careful not to harass) if it’s an account that steals from a lot of artists. However, dealing with tons of people treating you and your art like dirt can get really stressful (I know it’s ruined my day more than once), so sometimes you can also…
3. …Report “on behalf of the owner”. If you know an artist absolutely doesn’t allow reposts (for example, me), you can save them tons of time and stress by filling out a copyright claim on their behalf. All you need is a link to the original (most of my stuff is in my /tagged/my-stuff tag), and to tick the box that says you’re ‘authorized to report on behalf of the copyright owner’ (actual wording varies from site to site). When making a report, it’s absolutely vital that you know for sure the image was reposted without permission. I never give permission to repost (especially on Insta, Pinterest, WeHeartIt, etc.), so any of my art you see there is stolen, and you can report it. Buttons to look for include “report”, “this doesn’t belong on ____”, “this violates my intellectual copyright/terms of service”, and sometimes “inappropriate content”.
One advantage that art thieves have over artists is that there’s only so much a single artist can report (or emotionally handle) in a single day. Art thieves take advantage of that to get away with stealing. But if we all band together, we can take stolen posts down, get repeat offenders’ accounts deleted, and make this fandom a happier, fairer place to be.
Btw, thank you SO much to my followers who always have my back, and who I always see doing these 3 things above. You guys are ANGELS and you don’t know how many times a message like this, or a comment defending my art, etc. has kept me from jumping ship (and just not posting my art online anymore). You guys are so awesome, and I’m so grateful for each and every one of you. <3 <3
Imagine being told that the universe is full of light. Once you open your eyes, the light will guide you and comfort you in your darkest moments. Now, imagine realizing that the light exists, but that you’re blind, you’ve always been blind, and you’re never going to see anything.
» Theron Shan, The Lost Suns
I think it’s important to note and interesting that I can’t recall it being mentioned in discussions on Wufei that his colony, L5-A0205, was going to be the colony they dropped in the original Operation Meteor.
Let that sink in.
It was Wufei’s home they were going to drop on Earth.
I think this a wildly huge factor in understanding Wufei and his motivations/actions. So let’s get all up in this shit.
(also just an fyi, all of what I say is based off of the english dub at this time, since I’m finding it hard to find subs that don’t feel like they’re dub script subs.)
I've been gone like a week and so much has happened apparently? Please help me i'm lost
I s2g TJLC is the wildest fuckin’ ride. Every time I think the conspiracy can’t get any deeper new shit pops up. At this point I’ve just accepted that this whole thing is more complex and mad than I ever could have imagined so all bets are off.
Short summary of this week in TJLC (29th Jan - 4th Feb):
(Which probably doesn’t include everything, because seven days in Johnlock time is like seven years in the actual world):
The Case of the Duplicate Man — aka., the Duplicate Steve?
Steve Thompson, the screenwriter for TRF, is most likely not real and is a pseudonym for Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss. Either that, or Mofftiss have been keeping this man hidden in the Basement for the past five years.
The show itself is causing quite a stir because it’s likely that John has just been made a woman for the sole purpose of introducing a romantic subplot. Almost as if you can’t have a romance unless it’s heterosexual … Hm. Anyway. There’s quite a bit of evidence suggesting that the show may just be part of the ARG or a prank of some sort, the most incriminating being the show’s promo picture, which is literally just some stock images photoshopped together.
- The scripts in general are pretty jam-packed full of clues, misdirections, and Johnlock subtext, not to mention the hilarious denial of such subtext including the, now iconic, “proper, manly embrace” on the tarmac.
*thinks about how smart anakin is building c3po and wish i was that smart* anakin could've done better things... let me tell you, i watched the ot, then prequels and i was screaming the second i found out anakin built him like ?? my precious son is so smart :') and then i saw c3po and r2 become friends and then understood their relationship in the OT, and then felt pain cause r2 knows so much and been with the skywalker family forever and i ;~;
are two of most underrated tragedies of Star Wars. Combined they knew almost
EVERYTHING about Anakin and his family. I hadn’t been crying so hard I’d have
yelled when I heard Bail ordering C3po
memory to be erased. He carried Anakin
childhood, Shmi Skywalker, Padmé, Ben, Beru, Kitster, etc. He carried that part
of Anakin that very few people knew about it and even fewer understood. Knowing
it’s lost forever… it’s something I’ll never get over.
R2 at least
can find some peace in knowing he’s protecting Anakin and Padmé’s children. C3po
will never have that. His whole life was taken from him and now he will
spend the rest of his days without ever knowing how much he was loved by his
Was just thinking about how Nadine and Chloe go through a sort of reversal of positions - at the beginning of the story, Nadine is still clinging to the idea of getting back control of Shoreline; she feels responsible for how the Libertalia job went to shit and thinks this is how she can atone for failing the people who followed her, for failing herself. Chloe, meanwhile, refuses to be bound to anything. The insurgency is not her fight, Asav’s megalomania is not her problem so long as it doesn’t interfere with getting the tusk.
But as they explore Hoysala we see how the ancient kings loved and protected their nation, and Chloe starts to feel a stronger connection to her own people. Nadine realizes that taking back Shoreline won’t change what happened, and the longer she is with Chloe, the less appealing a future of mercenary work serving men like Asav sounds. She chooses Chloe and the future over Shoreline and the past. By the end of the game it’s Chloe who refuses to walk away, who realizes that you sometimes need to make sacrifices for something greater than yourself. It’s about knowing when to cut ties, and knowing when you can’t. Nadine rejects her father’s legacy, and Chloe embraces hers. The game is about love and loyalty and regret, and I’ve been awake too long to get any more coherent than this.
Tldr: I was not expecting the emotional beats from this mini-sequel and I love these two so much.
I wanted to thank everyone for all the birthday wishes and gifts I am completely overwhelmed by the amount of art and words and messages I got, my birthday has never gotten this much attention ever, I’m sorry for all the caps yelling I’ve been doing these past couple of days hahah I’m just really excited, It is so amazing to think that so many of you took the time to draw or write something for me, I got more art of a character of mine yesterday than I did in all my life together and to see all of your interpretations and styles is the best thing. I’d love to reply to all the messages individually but it would take very long and sadly my birthday was in a busy week, and I also would like to keep them, reading that you find my art inspiring or motivating is also inspiring and motivating for me, I hope this year I will learn so much more and improve my art so I can share more with you, maybe by the time DA4 comes out I’ll be able to paint all of my crazy ideas much better and faster and spam you all with them 😊 thank you so much again for all the support and also!! happy birthday to all my fellow fishes!! hahah so many of you have birthdays on the same day or in a few days difference, I hope you all had great days too!! 💕