i honestly need all the headcanons about adam's bi awakening. i imagine him feeling confused when he realizes he's attracted to ronan, and then thinking about what that means since he still thinks blue is hot, and then realizing all the guys he's thought were hot in the past (that model from the magazine, their latin teacher, etc.) and realizing how stupid he's been, lmao. and i wonder what came first, his attraction to ronan or his feelings for him? or maybe around the same time.
ok i got this this morning but i wanted to wait until i was home and had time to properly think about it, so, without further ado, my thoughts on adam’s bi awakening:
- before ronan, adam really brushed off all the attraction he had to guys just bc?? it wasn’t as present or as strong and it didn’t really register as attraction to him until he looked back on it like ‘oh that’s why i was so impressed with that model from the magazine’
- and if you guys haven’t noticed, adam does that thing where he tries to think his way out of his feelings, so, i’m pretty sure that when he started developing feelings for ronan was when he really started to think about his attraction to guys (bc honestly, i think he was probably attracted to ronan the whole time and didn’t start to think of it as attraction until the feelings part was involved)
- a lot of narratives portray queer people as just ‘knowing’ the whole time. i don’t think that was how it went down with adam. i think he had a lot of moments with ronan where he felt different and when he started to realize how ronan felt about him, it made him question what he was feeling like ‘wait is this weird feelings stuff me reciprocating or is it just… weird’
- and i think once he started to think about it he probably did a lot of googling. adam knew he was attracted to blue- it literally says he was attracted to her “like a heart attack”, and who knows whether or not he knew that bisexuality was a thing (which, i didn’t until i met someone who was bi, so it’s really not impossible for someone not to know lol) and i can totally see him taking the kinsey scale test online, putting a ton of thought into each answer when.. really tests don’t help a ton because sexuality is a confusing, fluid thing.. but..
- test: the idea of having sexual intercourse with someone of the same sex is:
Adam: *squints at question* clicks ‘interesting’
- i think he probably spent a lot of time analyzing ronan’s actions and how he felt about those actions (physically and emotionally) until he came to the conclusion that yes, he was attracted to ronan and it wasn’t just a fluke. (see: the ‘ronan wiping his face sweat with his shirt and adam almost walking into a telephone pole bc his abs were so nice’ incident)
- and i think once he confirmed that he was attracted to ronan, he started to look at the way he felt and had felt about other guys in the past like ‘lol i totally had a crush on that guy in seventh grade but i didn’t really notice it bc i didn’t think it was a crush’
- he probably spent a lot more time questioning the romantic feelings than the attraction. sometimes, it takes feeling both to make you really think about it, but i think he spent way, way longer thinking and overthinking his feelings for ronan, because even after ronan kissed him in trk adam was still like ‘what is love.’ the attraction was probably the easier part, because looking back, it was there from the beginning.