i've got more friends than that

i had this friend. loud, vivacious, and brimming with energy and colour. her sun-bright smile drew others to her like moths to flame; and yet she could always pick me out from the crowd effortlessly. i wondered how she did that, why she’d pick me over many. 

she was the kind of person you could never look away from for long, but i saw her better from my peripherals. when she lifted her chin, her face would become awash with glowing light; and then she’d laugh about her pale skin, and the ruddy cheeks and dark freckles would appear again, as if they’d momentarily blanked out. when she grew protective, her blue eyes would spark dangerously and burn white; and then she’d blink, and the glint of her glasses would stand in with explanation. 

but i saw her best from the back. when she’d run, her fire-bright curls would flare out behind her like wings.

as flighty as she was, she always came back to me. i wondered why. 

she told me, once. 

one day, before class had started, when i was in the middle of falling asleep in the sunbeam warming my desk, she turned around in her seat to talk to me. she spoke with her whole body, from her waving hands to her bouncing shoulders. 

then she petered off, and settled into stillness. watchfulness. despite all the eyes on her, she only saw me. 

“hey,” she said. “could you look at me for a sec?” 

and when i lifted my head to look at her straight on, she smiled as if she’d found the answer. 

“look at that,” she murmured. “your eyes have halos in them too.” 

anonymous asked:

So here's a prompt if it tickles your fancy: Sanvers having a conflict about race. Or privilege, rather? Being in a relationship with a white person can be pretty hard? Because of privileges and (usually, hopefully unintentional and not ill-willed) cluelessness about what it's like to move through the world when you're not white. I've never seen it dealt with in fic and it'd be cool to read.

Alex always readily agreed – nods her head, says things like yeah and J’onn’s right and James has a point – whenever someone explicitly comments on racism. She’s always supportive, always a little too ready to nod her head in agreement, but she’s also always a bit… clueless.

And it feels a bit more like Alex is agreeing because she’s always so ready to defend her friends, rather than because she necessarily… gets it.

Because she got the part where Maggie said she grew up non-straight in Blue Springs, Nebraska. She got it and she’ll recognize homophobia and she’ll stiffen and she’ll be ready to punch someone into last Tuesday.

But she didn’t quite get the part where Maggie said she grew up non-white in Blue Springs, Nebraska.

Because Maggie will get up extra early some days for court to defend brown kids whose cases have crossed her desk, and Alex doesn’t understand.

“But I thought you said he did have a gun in his glove compartment.”

“He did, Al, but it was his father’s car and it was licensed to his father and that’s not even the point, the point is that they never should have been in his glove compartment to begin with, they never should have forced him out of his car to begin with, hell, they never should have pulled him over to begin with.”

And Alex will sigh and nod and go quiet and make Maggie coffee and Maggie will seethe because she hates having to explain things like this in her own home, but at least Alex is asking (instead of accusing her of caring about work more than their relationship), which is more than she can say for the other white girls she’s dated.

Because some nights, Alex will come over and Maggie is positively tearing into the punching bag in her living room, Nas blasting throughout the house, and Alex doesn’t say anything, but she looks confused when Maggie huffs out between jabs and crosses and uppercuts how much zero tolerance policies in schools just seek out and punish Black girls, and Maggie doesn’t want her to look confused, like she’s hearing this for the first time, Maggie wants her to get it, intuitively, and she doesn’t, so Maggie punches harder.

Because some afternoons, Alex will come to the precinct and ask why Maggie’s captain talks to her so differently than he talks to the other women in the precinct, do they have a difficulty history together, and Maggie swallows the answer about his white ass and just kind of shrugs until Alex lets it go, but it eats into Maggie’s stomach all afternoon and only Alex’s smile, ironically, fixes it. Somewhat.

And one evening, when they’re out in a club and James and Maggie sort of huddle in a corner together and Alex can’t figure out why, Maggie’s grateful when James is the one to say all these white folks, Alex, it could be a Klan meeting up in here and Maggie looks down at her feet because she doesn’t want to see Alex’s face fall, doesn’t want to see Alex’s eyes flood with tears, because she’d picked the venue, and it was a gay spot and wasn’t that good enough and she’d failed and Maggie feels badly because Maggie loves her and doesn’t want her to feel guilty, doesn’t want her to spiral, but damn does she not want to be the one to have to pick up those pieces right now.

It’s that night that Maggie first really says anything about it, that night when Maggie decides that she’s not going to treat Alex like the other white girls she’s dated: allowing them to ignore their privilege, to ignore the ways they steamroll over Maggie, ignore the ways their lack of getting it makes her constantly feel crazy in her own home.

She’s not going to let Alex not learn, because she loves her, she loves her, she loves her, and she’s starting to trust, somehow, that Alex loves her enough back to put in the work on herself that Maggie needs her to put in.

“Babe,” Maggie begins, gently, softly, her hands on Alex’s hips after Alex slinks off her jacket and opens the fridge for some water.

“Are you mad at me?” Alex asks immediately, because they hadn’t spoken about it at the club, they’d just danced, danced, Maggie being extra watchful and Alex not noticing the filthy looks and raised eyebrows they got from white girls who think they own oppression because they’re lesbians.

Maggie sighs and rests her forehead on Alex’s shoulder. “No. No, Ally, I’m not mad, but I… I need that to not be the point.”

Alex turns and furrows her brow and waits, and Maggie’s heart flutters because Alex is not going to yell, and Alex is not going to blame her, and Alex is not going to reject her, and Alex is not going to tell her that she’s making things up and not everything is about race, not, not, not, right?

“There are ways I move in the world that… that you don’t. You could stroll into that club, or hell, anywhere, with Kara, and two beautiful white women? God, Alex, you have all the privilege in the world. All of it. And I… I have a lot of it, too. I can pass sometimes, and I hate it, I hate that, but I… listen, Al, I… I’m not going to teach you about your white flipping privilege. I don’t want to have to, babe. I want to come home and know that the woman I love is going to understand without me having to explain to her, I want the woman I love to get it. That doesn’t mean you can’t mess up and it doesn’t mean you can’t ask me things, but just… you gotta stop treating racism like it only exists in big bad individual people and hella obvious, okay?”

Alex fidgets and sighs, and Maggie’s heart hammers.

“So you’re saying you love me.”

Maggie can’t help the radiant smile that pushes it’s way onto her face, because Alex is ridiculous, and Alex is right.

“And you’re saying you want me to start being less of a ‘post-racial’ jackass.”

Maggie arches an eyebrow and tilts her head. “I’m impressed you know that word, Danvers.”

“I’ve been trying, Sawyer. Because I love you too. And I’m gonna figure out how to love you better. I promise.”

Long Ass List of Daredevil Sentence Starters
  • "Scream all you want. Come on, let me hear you scream. Scream loud. Nobody gives a shit down here."
  • "I gotta go bribe a cop."
  • "But seriously, yeah, I gotta go bribe a cop."
  • "Please stop giving my mom cigars."
  • "Look, I'm not asking you to do anything immoral."
  • "You've never done this before?"
  • "Maybe we can help each other."
  • "All I did was ask him for a drink."
  • "Define yourself by what you have, value the differences, make no apologies for what you lack."
  • "I thought I detected a whiff of virtue in there."
  • "But I'm awkward and unfashionable. Those things don't seem to apply to you."
  • "I just don't feel like going home okay?"
  • "So let's hop a few bars, not think about it."
  • "Your outfit kind of sucks, by the way."
  • "You haven't told me anything about you."
  • "Okay, good because I was starting to worry you might be in love with me."
  • "I drank the eel. Not a euphemism."
  • "And we are now filled with mighty eel strength!"
  • "After what you told me, I'm never going home again."
  • "I know you're scared, but I'm here to help you. Okay? - You don't have to be scared anymore."
  • "I make a heck of a latte, if you're interested."
  • "Facts have no moral judgment. They merely state what is. Not what we think of them, not what we feel."
  • "I know how hard this must be for you."
  • "You have no idea how any of this is for me."
  • "They have to pay for what they've done."
  • "They won't listen."
  • "We'll make them listen."
  • "You do not want to test me."
  • "You think this is still about you?"
  • "You should have just killed me. You coward."
  • "This is an offer, not an order."
  • "I did some digging into your, uh past activities."
  • "A man/woman that can be bought isn't worth having."
  • "I said you should move on. Didn't say anything about me."
  • "Even though our perception of it changes, one thing remains constant. The past can never be completely erased. It lingers."
  • "I've been lied to before by men/women. Some were even decent ones but they still felt the need to be dishonest about things that mattered."
  • "Hey, that's not a reason, it's an excuse."
  • "He's/She's like a sexual Rain Man."
  • "I want you to touch my face."
  • "Just tell me what you feel."
  • "You need anything else, you know where to find me."
  • "You want the short answer or the long one?"
  • "We need to contain this."
  • "Lying to that woman is impossible."
  • "Choose a side."
  • "I'm the closest he/she has to family. He'd/She'd do the same for me."
  • "That wasn't very smart, but it was fun watching you bleed."
  • "Life is not a fairy tale. Not everyone deserves a happy ending."
  • "Animals don't stop fighting. Not until one of them is dead."
  • "Admittedly, I'm a work in progress."
  • "Let's get this started."
  • "You know what they call stuff like that? Gifts. The special kind. The kind that very few people have. Or deserve."
  • "Smart don't come out of books, kid. Smart is making the right decision at the right time."
  • "Big world. Not all of it flowers and sunshine, and the only way guys like you and me can survive is to grab it by the throat and never let go."
  • "Are you gonna lie there all night or get up off your ass?"
  • "What a shithole."
  • "This is my life and I made something of it, without you."
  • "Relationships are a luxury men like you and me can't afford."
  • "Is that why you left? Huh? To protect me?"
  • "You got heart kid, but heart's not enough."
  • "Anger is a spark, good. Rage is a wildfire, out of control, therefore useless. Just like you."
  • "We all pay for our choices."
  • "I've learned a lot since you've been gone."
  • "You're a dick."
  • "Say that you want my help."
  • "I want you to help yourself."
  • "I don't need a friend. I need a soldier."
  • "In war, people die. If it's not you, it's the guy next to you."
  • "I swear I will not kill anybody. Pussy."
  • "Never is a man more good looking than when he is in love."
  • "You do your job, I'll do mine."
  • "On occasion some dickery may leak out, but doesn't mean I'm wrong."
  • "So, how long before I do something that pisses you off?"
  • "You can't listen to people like that. You have to just block them out."
  • "Yeah, you're just a guy, right? A really, really good-looking guy."
  • "If you weren't half dead, I would kick your ass."
  • "We're gonna be the best damn avocados this city has ever seen."
  • "Misspelling 'Hanukkah' is a mistake. Attempted murder is a little something else."
  • "Well, we seldom get everything we want. Not in this world."
  • "You were really something back in the day. When you had a soul."
  • "I'm not afraid to die."
  • "We'll be together, that's all that matters."
  • "You really think that this will change anything?"

Title: i’ll always hold on ‘cause you make me strong
Rating:E
Paring: Harry Styles/Niall Horan
Words: 22k
Author: littlemissmeggie

“Niall, we’ve never been ‘just friends.’”

“For someone who’s so certain we’ve never been ‘just friends,’ you sure spent a lot of time trying to convince me we should keep it casual,” Niall told Harry sadly. “A year of ‘casual’ before you told me you were in love with me.”

“Niall, I can’t… Do you think I- you think I cheated?” Harry asked, tears on his eyelashes.

“No. I don’t think you cheated,” Niall said, shaking his head. “But when I saw you with her, when I saw those pictures, I knew you’d realised I was right,” Niall sounded dejected, resigned to what he thought was the truth.

“Right about what, Ni?”

“I don’t belong with you.” He sighed. “I don’t fit.”

or…

Niall and Harry are just friends-with-benefits until they’re much more. But Harry’s plans for the hiatus, coupled with his friendship with Kendall Jenner, cause Niall to wonder if he really belongs in Harry’s life. His insecurities and doubts lead to a broken-hearted Harry more than once but Niall knows a way to fix both of them.

Read on AO3 here

anonymous asked:

You know what I just realized. When Taylor and Karlie mentioned at the very beginning that a lot of people repeatedly said they should meet because they were so much alike? They were all trying to get them together because they knew the girls were gay. It makes so much sense now! In all my life I've never recommended a friendship to anyone, it seems invading and a lot more personal than introducing someone as a potential love interest. Why didn't I see it before?

They played it well, the “you would be best friends” angle. It helped explain how they got so close so fast in a hetero friendly way. But yes, I am quite sure that those people were trying to set them up. 🏳️‍🌈

2butt  asked:

32 w/ frans but that android au

( 32. open your eyes )


It was odd, being aware and unaware in the stillness. They’ve died so many times, rather figuratively and very literally, yet this felt different. It was dark, it felt… somewhat cold. They couldn’t hear anything, couldn’t taste, see, but a certain feeling was there, something that could reside in their chest, and it pulled them somewhere. They were idly floating in the nothing, nowhere in mind to go so they let themselves be guided by that invisible tug. Maybe this was the end? Really the end. Where there’d be no more going back. They were pretty sure that by now that golden yellow light would have appeared. It was tangible, like a star, a lone little sun in a void space, and when grazing it with their hands they thought it’d burn but it only pulsed into their skin like warm water. And then it grew, impaled them, through their chest and their limbs and a sharp pang in their head, glass breaking and shattering and exploding into pieces from the inside and sprouting out to become pale light. Then they’d blink their eyes open to a place they were before, to a time that hadn’t gotten them killed yet. And then they might just die again, and they’d go to that SAVE point, and their eyes will open. Repeat.


Fun times.

Keep reading

too gay and too tired for this

it’s honestly really depressing to be here for pride month and I can’t really post about it, and I’m just really down and touch deprived and I need social interaction, and I’m just so stupidly sad

edgarallanrose  asked:

Just saw your reply to somebody about not looking good in photo ops & reminding yourself how happy you were in the moment & that really idk moved me? I went to my 1st ever con in January & had a photo op w/ Misha. I was really overwhelmed & didnt have a pose planned cuz initially a friend was supposed to be in the op w/ me. The op still turned out cute but I've since lost about 15+ pounds & now I hate how I look in it. Your post almost made me cry. Thanks for reminding me of the important stuff

Awww, I have more than a few ops where I got them and I just hated how I looked, even from this weekend. And also this weekend i was in a room of six or so of my friends and we were all talking about parts of our body we hate and it was just…I’m sick of it. I’m sick of the bull shit we put ourselves through and the insane amount of mental energy I put into worrying about my body. I used to be a lot skinnier. It didn’t make me happy. My family. My friends. My fandom. That’s what makes me happy, not my body.

anonymous asked:

More Jigen....I need it. *crys*

Garbage man lives in garbage can with his garbage friends. More at 11.

This has got to be one of my favorite Eren and Armin scenes

Armin has never had friends before, all his life he’s been basically bullied and beat up for being weak. Armin’s been alone for a majority of his life, he didn’t even have his parents, all he had was his grandpa. Now here comes Eren, someone who simply just doesn’t like anyone, he doesn’t feel the need to have friends. Then he meets Armin, who doesn’t seem to be anything like Eren’s rash, temperamental and strong self.

 But then he sees something in Armin, he sees something different in him, in fact there’s a certain admiration in his eyes when Armin gives his answer for not running away. Eren actually wants to be friends with this Armin. And here’s Armin, who’s basically been alone all his life, wallowing in loneliness and self-doubt and he meets someone who wants to be friends with him. Eren is the first person to see Armin for who he really is.

I feel like this scene set something so wonderful between these two, it’s really no wonder there are rumors of them being too close or how they’re always concerned about each other. They are each other’s first friendship.

flatsound sentence starters
  • "Tonight I walked through a field that used to scare me more than I scared myself."
  • "I wish I had known you then."
  • "It was never death that interested me; it was the idea of an opportunity to follow a cold breeze that promised to take me anywhere but here."
  • "I’m sorry you thought this couldn’t work, because I’ve never wanted anything more in my entire life than to prove that it could."
  • "You were not my world, you were my universe."
  • "And I wonder if that’s what it feels like to die."
  • "Why do I wait, wondering how long it’ll take you to admit it?"
  • "I’d rather keep my mouth shut then start to say what I can’t finish."
  • "I sit here wondering if anything you said was true."
  • "We both noticed something had changed."
  • "I called you up again today and you didn't pick up."
  • "I didn't expect it to happen this quickly, you know?"
  • "I sit here and I worry about myself so much."
  • "I wanted you to care, I wanted you to be nosy, I wanted you to be there."
  • "I know it's stupid of me to say that you don't care, I mean, of course you do, but I want you to care so much more."
  • "I can't be around all these people who all my life have tried to change me."
  • "I can't hide who I am."
  • "I will be happy for the first time in my whole life."
  • "It makes me feel good, makes me feel pretty."
  • "I will go to sleep; just know you’ll be in my dreams."
  • "If I cry, it won’t be because of you."
  • "You don’t have to wait or pretend that he’s just your friend."
  • "It scares me more than I'd like to admit."
  • "My only problem lately is I've got too much time so all I'm left with is that what's on my mind."
  • "I left out everyone and all I have at the end of the day is that what's on my mind."
  • "Say I came back today, would I have a spot in your heart?"
  • "I cheated with your ex best friend."
  • "You can't stand in my doorway for long."
  • "It's eleven o'clock, he's expecting you home."
  • "I'll walk you up the hill to your car."
  • "No, don't let go, don't let this die."
  • "I just need to know what I did to ruin this and turn your body cold."
  • "If you walk through that door there will be no us."
  • "I thought you were being distant."
  • "I did not mean to make this the worst night of your life."
  • "I need you to know what happened."
  • "I saw you walking by, you didn't say hi, you didn't even smile."
  • "You're not the only one who's feeling anxious toward the bullshit that's attached to growin' up."
  • "You said things would stay the same; well, have they?"
  • "I know you're scared, but you'll never get better if you keep running away."
  • "Sometimes you need to be self centered to understand yourself better."
  • "I'm not in the mood to stick around."
  • "Every day I think about you and why you had to turn into my enemy, when all I need's my friend."
  • "Look at me and see how much I've changed since you left."
  • "Well, is this what you wanted, for me to admit that this fucking hurts?"
  • "I was never good at talking smoothly."
  • "Now I don't remember how you speak; I mean, it comes to me in dreams, but by morning, I lose everything you ever said."
  • "I'm not perfect, I think I'm quite the opposite, I'm nothing to adore."
  • "Perfection is opinion and nothing more."
  • "I'll be here waiting when your plane lands."
  • "Hi, my name is none of your concern."
  • "I like the way you make me feel at home."
  • "It wasn’t a mistake - so please dont think it was."
  • "I didn’t have a lot to drink, I just needed a bit for confidence."
  • "They won't find out, no one cares enough about it to run their mouths."
  • "Just please, when you’re ready to go, try not to make it so painful."
  • "Will you write another sad, sad song?"
  • "It's obnoxious and it's useless to fight a war you're losing."
  • "This might be your only chance."
  • "Is it you who calls the shots?"
  • "I don't know why they're choosing to confide in someone who will talk about anything."
  • "There are people who miss me and I don't know why they're investing all their time into someone with my history."
  • "Why did you say that I was one in a million? Because I believed it."
  • "I thought I had something that you were too scared to lose."
  • "I also saw how often you say goodbye."
  • "Things were never supposed to be this good."
  • "Nothing I can say now would justify a thing, just know I'm sorry."
  • "I just wanted to say I hope you're okay."
  • "You're already hurt, I'm scared that if you put your trust in me, I'll make it worse."
  • "You're still so young, you have room to grow into something amazing."
  • "You won't remember who I am."
  • "I can't live with the chance that this feeling's ever coming back."
  • "I don't hate you, but honey, this still hurts."
  • "I'm not dumb, I know everything."
  • "That liquid he consumes makes him speak the truth."
  • "Look at me, because I exist."
  • "It's a shame that we're not soulmates because if I didn't know better, I'd say this feels pretty good."
  • "You've been gone for too long, why'd you go?"
  • "Is this what you think it means to be responsible?"
  • "I went to class, you didn't show up."
  • "I thought we said that we'd keep in touch."
  • "So live up to the name you’ve been making for yourself."
  • "Last night you had that dream again, the one where you try and run from your fears but you can’t because you’re wearing fabulous stilettos."
  • "If I were the sun, I'd shine my light on you and leave the people that hurt you cold."
  • "We’re fighting again, more than usual."
  • "I’m sorry about being me."
  • "I'll sleep on the couch."
  • "Bring me a cat to be my best friend."
  • "It isn’t like you ever said that you were committed to the thought of me and only me."
  • "I can’t believe I spent all morning trying to tell you I’m sorry about yesterday."
  • "You smell like the devil but you feel like the lord."
  • "I didn’t dodge all your bullets, I just denied that they hit me."
  • "If I told you I loved you would you reach out and touch me?"
  • "I wish we had just gone to bed."
  • "This could have worked."
  • "The best part of that whole song was skipping ahead to Nicki Minaj."
  • "I will not make the same mistake twice."
  • "I know you never really liked people, I didn't mean to make that worse."
  • "I still know the roads that take me to your street."
  • "I know I promised that we'd talk more it's just, I'm surprised you even want to talk at all."
  • "I'm so scared that you still think I'm the one who gave up."
  • "The plans we made were never mistakes, they just didn't work for us."
  • "You always knew the deal that we made and what this was worth."
  • "I'll go to sleep at a decent time when I find something worth waking up for."
  • "I keep checking my phone to see you haven’t called at all."
  • "I thought I was the best part of your life, now I’m pretty sure that I was wrong."
  • "You’re impossible to read so if you love me, come clean."
  • "I’ll refer to you as my special love, the one that set me free."
  • "I’m feeling lost in towns that were my home."
  • "It's my own body, I did what I wanted."
  • "It’s not that I don’t have words to say, I just don’t want to be the one that speaks them."
  • "Your only flaw is that you’re flawless.”
  • "I’m so full of shit, I’m surprised you bought it."
  • "Well congratulations, I didn’t know you two had made things so official."
  • "Don’t call me when it fizzles; in fact, don’t call me at all."
  • "What a beautiful sight to see you alive."
  • "I can't hold you responsible anymore."
  • "I'm lost now in the thrill of it."
  • "I just want to lay in bed with you."
  • "I'll throw everything I have into the flames just to make it last."
  • "There are reasons that I can't stay."
  • "I built my life around watching everything you do."
  • "I wonder if you're having fun."
  • "You said you were done; well, how done?"
  • "I want to believe that I really don't need him."
  • "I can't wait until I see your face and my brain feels nothing."
  • "I would never want you to stop your life."
  • "You were always a shitty friend."
ziam fics you should bless your eyes with

(Remember to always leave kudos and comments when you read a work. It means loads to the authors)

Not My Type by deniallisstrong

When a group of five teenage girls go out to eat, all the girls have their eye on waiter Zayn, making a competition of who can get Zayn to fall for them–but it doesn’t seem that Zayn has any interest in the girls at all… but rather the crinkly-eyed boy at the table, Liam.

Also check out Work In Progress 

Liam doesn’t expect to receive a pickup line on his laptop—and he certainly doesn’t expect it to come from a mysterious Dj MaLiK either. But it seems anything can happen in a coffee shop

False Start by craziamlove 

We made a start, be it a false one, I know…

Or, where Zayn has a fake boyfriend, Liam loves football, and the other three are along for the ride.

All is Fair in Love and War by bad1ands 

Up-and-coming journalist Zayn Malik, in hopes of later being allowed to cover more substantial stories, takes on an assignment by which he must pull a guy and then push him away in ten days.
Advertising executive Liam Payne, in order to take over a major campaign for his company, must prove to his associates that he’s able to woo a man in less that two weeks.

They walk into a bar.

(An AU based off of the 2003 film How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.)

Not Haunted by jomouse 

Liam moves into a house he’s convinced is haunted, despite the reassuring words of his new housemates.

And Whose Wish, also by jomouse!!

Niall hires Liam to cater his flatmate Zayn’s surprise birthday party.

Fever Pitch by liamsfreckles

“How do you feel? When you come back to a place like Bradford?”

“I think it’s massively important, like, for me that I come back here. ‘Cause it grounds me, as a person. Just reminds me of why I started doing what I did.

“Football?”

A grin. “Yeah. Football.”

A Football AU where Zayn Malik is at the tail end of his illustrious career and going back to where it all began, Liam Payne is the one he never saw coming, and how one injury could change Zayn’s life forever.

You’re the flame behind my eyes by sunnysideup

‘I said I know now why you never asked why I said yes, and that’s fine Liam, I get it now, you never cared’

Liam is Zayn’s boss. He asks Zayn to pretend he’s engaged to him for a weekend at his parents’ - This is what comes next.

Or another fake engagement AU - Inspired just a little bit by the film 'The Proposal’.

hello kisses sweet as wine by xxcaribbean

not everyone is brave enough to go after the things they want. too much judgment and little respect creates nothing but fear; yet zayn’s always pursued what he’s felt regardless of those hang ups, and there’s not a day that goes by that he doesn’t regret any of his choices.

now, though, his decisions go a little beyond the spectrum of what people might consider normal, but zayn swears he did it out of love for himself and for his family. but mostly, it’s for his insatiable need to feel steadiness for once in his life.

zayn doesn’t expect mr. payne to have all the answers, and he certainly hadn’t meant to leave an impression.

so, this isn’t really a love story. well, it shouldn’t be.

The Way We Do by CupcakeCait 

Zayn and Liam play on rival football teams, and it’s hate at first sight, in Zayn’s case at least.

We Do What We Have To by iwanttowriteyouafic. 

“He watched the tape later, though, when Zayn had gone for a midnight shower and the apartment was silent. He skimmed through, desperately wanting to watch how they fit together before the clip is edited, but knowing that’s not what he’s looking for. No, he’s looking for the ending, where Zayn swaggers out of bed: plump lower caught between pearly white teeth, face eclipsing into a cheeky grin when he examines himself in the live feed. He looked directly into the camera, a tiny eyebrow raise accompanying his smirk giving hint that he’s enjoying the attention for a little more than what he’s being paid.”

(Or the one where Liam finds himself needing money quickly, and Zayn has a surprising suggestion of how to help.)

It’s Always Been You by livingforamiracle 

An AU where Liam consistently goes on bad dates only to realize that his favorite dates are the ones where he’s holed up in his flat with his best friend Zayn.

anonymous asked:

How do I live in a world where I'm completely surrounded by feelers or sensors. Like not that it's bad but it's more than I just stand out a lot and it's like, I've got friends who have families with newborn babies and stuff and they show it and everyone's drooling over them and I have to fake it otherwise people stare at me like I'm insane like, is it that weird that I just don't like to do that and that I rarely notice changes like people wearing a new shirt becuase in lost in thought??

I completely get the struggle. 
As an xNTx, it can be very draining to be in situations that have S or F traits, especially if they involve too much extroverting because it enhances these traits. I also get the “standing out” frustration when all you want to do is mind your own thing. 
I think too rigid behaviours are not something to strive for and people should try to adapt to others to a certain (limited) degree. We’re different, we don’t work the same way and we’re not interested in the same issues. Why do people have to point it out all the time, making others stand out as if it was not already obvious for that person in the first place. Let’s just get over it. 

To answer your first question in particular on “how to live in a world surrounded by F and S”:

  1. The previous remark on trying to get a little adapted is also applicable to you. It’s okay to show a little more interest than you feel if it’s something that is really important to others.
  2. It is also okay not to do so. If you don’t feel comfortable with yourself because you think it’s too fake, then don’t. 
  3. Sometimes you will feel like you’re different to everyone else in a room. That’s okay. Try to internally validate yourself. I’m sure you wouldn’t want to think differently and your opinion about who you are is the only one that truly matters.
  4. If you end up feeling lonely after these situations, try to engage in activities that validate your own preferences. 
  5. Then try to talk to someone with whom you can relate more. It doesn’t even have to be friends from your surroundings. 
  6. You can always message me talking about the most F and S stuff you’ve been through that day and we can talk about how different we perceive it from everyone else. 

I hope this helps. Your story with the baby pictures is so funny, especially for the way you were wording it. If you want to laugh at my own misadventures with xSFx situations in return, you can find it >here<. 

Keep it up! – INTJ

Another reason why Shadow and Rouge’s relationship is so compelling

I talk a lot about Rouge’s effect on Shadow throughout the games, but I also think it’s important to talk about Shadow’s effect on Rouge. Because the more I look at the evolution of their relationship throughout Sonic Adventure 2, Heroes, ShTH, and ‘06, the more I become convinced that Rouge has never actually has a real friend until Shadow.

This is a woman who is a government spy - already not exactly conducive to friend-making - as well as a jewel thief, who deliberately acts and dresses to make people misread her true intentions. When she first meets Shadow, neither of them trust or even like each other much - she’s only there to spy on him, and he is trying at that point to literally destroy the planet. I’m pretty sure she only really saw him as a violent psychopath and dealing with him just “a part of the job” at first, right up until:

- he rushes back, with literal seconds to spare, to save her from being caught in the Prison Island explosion.

He tries afterwards to play it off as “I was just after the Chaos Emeralds,” but she reads him correctly. There’s “more to it” as she says - the thought of her dying when there was something he could do to prevent that was giving him vivid flashbacks of Maria’s death. I think that was the first moment that she started to realize - maybe without even being able to admit it to herself - that there was something deeper to him. He cared about more than just destruction.

Their last interaction in that game is a pretty terrible argument in which they both throw venomous barbs and insults at each other, he calls her a “pathetic creature” and Rouge strikes pretty hard at what she thinks might be one of Shadow’s biggest insecurities - the thought that “Shadow” might not even truly exist. It’s honestly painful to watch, and they definitely do not part in that game on good terms. Yet in the very end, she’s the first one to ask where he is, and seems to be holding back some amount of sadness at his “death.” She seems comforted by Sonic’s assessment of Shadow as having been a hero in the end, and tells Knuckles that she’s thinking of something better than jewels now. I fully believe that something about Shadow’s heel-face turn at the end really moved her, even if she didn’t quite know how to process it yet.

Cut to Sonic Heroes, where she randomly finds him in stasis inside one of Eggman’s bases, and the first thing he does upon release is tackle her out of danger once again. And then she learns that he has amnesia - he remembers absolutely nothing of what happened before. So what does she do? She immediately insists on teaming up with him so they can go after Eggman together. Like, there’s some tactical smarts in that - they’d have a better chance together - but we also know Rouge is a master infiltrator, she probably could have handled sneaking in alone vs. trying to work with Shadow’s more explosive style. Honestly, I think she was seeing this as a chance for both of them to make a better first impression on each other. She was getting to see his true personality emerge, without all the baggage, and he likewise saw her right off the bat (ha) as a friendly ally rather than a suspicious tagalong.

Her attitude toward him in this game is completely changed. All their conversations are quite friendly and civil, they seem to trust each other easily, and they even banter back and forth a couple times. She’s normally good at hiding her true emotions, but she expresses genuine concern when he discovers the broken Shadow Android:

And at the end when she discovers the room full of them, this is her reaction:

She’s so genuinely upset that the Shadow she’s found might not be the real one - the one she grew to admire despite herself back in SA2. Like, she brushes it off quickly, but she’s still clearly affected by it. She thought she’d found a new friend, and is now afraid that she’s just found a dime-a-dozen robot replacement.

There isn’t a ton of content involving her in ShTH compared to the other games, but she is the only character to appear in three different levels as a potential ally (the only one who gets more than her is Sonic, but that’s not surprising since the game is a Sonic spinoff), and just like in SA2, she’s the first to wonder aloud if Shadow is okay at the end. Eggman also confirms during the final battle that he is the real Shadow, not a copy, and while we don’t see Rouge’s reaction to that, it’s safe to assume based on Heroes that she’s rather happy to hear it.

Then, in Sonic ‘06 she seems rather miffed at Shadow’s professionalism at first, complaining that he’s “always business.” It seems to me like she was expecting Shadow to be more like he was in Heroes, friendly and interested in talking to her, now that the traumatic experience of the Black Arms invasion is over. As I’ve discussed before, during that game he starts pushing his friends away due to the trust issues he’s having at the time (courtesy of Mephiles), yet as he pushes her away time and time again she’s always trying to break through. There are multiple shots of her literally reaching out to him as he walks away from her.

Like there is not a better visual representation of their conflict in this game. It’s not that he suddenly dislikes her, he’s just pulling away out of fear. And she wants to help him so much! She gets visibly frustrated every time he walks away like this, yet when he returns she’s always friendly and eager to help.

And when she witnesses his doubt come to a head upon hearing Omega’s confession, she delivers one of the best lines in the game, which I will never ever forget: “Even if you believe everyone in the world will be against you, know that I’ll always remain by your side. Remember that.”

Look. Rouge is not the kind of person to open up like that. Every time before this that we’ve seen her express genuine emotion, she covers it up immediately afterward with some snarky quip or gesture. She slips the mask back on. This is the first time she doesn’t do that. She makes Shadow a solemn promise of friendship, straight from the heart - and Shadow accepts it, and that’s that. The scene ends on that heartwarming note, directly before the final confrontation.

Rouge, to me, acts like someone who has put up that mask all her life because she’s learned that people don’t like the real her. She’s a thief, she’s a spy, she’s often selfish and appears to have little regard for others. Until Shadow comes along. That’s when we see what she’s been hiding all along - that secretly she’s always had a heart of gold, she had so much love to give but no one to give it to. But post-SA2 Shadow never underestimated her, never judged her, always trusted her. Our very first introduction to Rouge in the series is her stealing the Master Emerald while loudly proclaiming “All the world’s gems are MINE to keep!” In ‘06, she gets her hands on a glittering, beautiful Chaos Emerald and wastes no time immediately sending it forward in time to save Shadow’s life. Like, she doesn’t even hesitate. She would have had this happened back in SA2, but by the time ‘06 rolls around she’s found a friend, and she’s not about to let that go, because she’s realized that she likes friends far more than gems.

“I’ve got something better than jewels that I’m thinking about right now.” I think that’s what she was referring to after Shadow’s death.

tl;dr Shadow inadvertently shows Rouge the Power of Friendship™ over the course of the series which has a huge impact on her character development and leads directly to her declaration of loyalty in ‘06 and also gives me all the emotions

Of course the last day of school was the one where I made potential friends

feeling unappreciated even after you dragged yourself through hell is one of the worst feelings