i've been thinking about this joke all day i love it hahaha

anonymous asked:

HELLO~ I know this might seem redundant (as I've seen it on other h/c blogs) but I wanna request your take on an h/c where MC is a genius hacker and also the rfa (+vanderwood, v & saeren) reaction to it bc they're adorable ♥

Don’t worry about sending me things that have already been done. I will do all the things. You guys can send me the most cliche overdone things and I will still write them. And I’ll do my best not to make them exactly like anyone else’s (not intentionally at least. It’s hard, I’ve read so many) E>

Zen:

  • The way Zen keeps it together after the whole Echo Girl situation is impressive
  • But you notice that all the hate he’s getting has been starting to get to him
  • No way are you going to have that
  • You learned hacking to fight for human rights and Zen is a human so
  • Hackerman to the rescue (Hackerman is a gender neutral title btw anyone can be Hackerman)
  • You notice his mood improve before he notices why
  • But he does notice eventually
  • How long has it been since the last angry email? Weeks??
  • He’s also noticed there are like no hate comments on anything he does anymore?
  • Or any negative comments at all really??
  • You: sweats nervously
  • Haha yeah weird I guess everyone just loves you hahaha
  • lol ya probably
  • But one day he’s looking at his fan page
  • And he sees a comment about how he’s “just another arrogant pretty boy. he’s not even that hot tbh”
  • And then literally before his eyes, he refreshes the page and the comment changes from hate
  • To “I don’t know anything because I’m just a bitter loser who’s probably going to die alone with like 30 cats lolol”
  • (Zen doesn’t know this but the hater’s phone has also been reprogrammed to autocorrect “Zen sucks” to “Zen is literal perfection you fucking trash bag”
  • And “hey” to “Zen is a god among men and I would happily sell my children for a chance to lick his sweet abs”
  • The hater does not know this yet either but they are going to find out, hopefully in the most hilarious and awkward way possible)
  • But all Zen knows is he definitely saw the comment change
  • So either that person had a very sudden change of heart
  • Or there’s something else going on here
  • He opens a chatroom like “hey MC do you think Seven could be filtering comments on my fan page”
  • Why on earth would he do that
  • Do you know how many there are
  • I mean I’ve never been on your fan page what are you talking about you can prove nothing
  • Eventually you tell him that you did it
  • He’s touched
  • No, seriously. He’s so touched. Your support means everything to him.
  • But he tells you that you don’t have to do it anymore
  • Knowing that he has your support and love is more than enough for him to be able to deal with the haters
  • You’re the only fan he needs *wink emoji*
  • When you tell him that you usually use your hacking skills for more activist type stuff he offers to help in any way he can
  • If there’s a cause you feel especially passionate about he’ll use his fame to reach out to fans you now have an army of teenage slash young adult women who will  gladly die for support that cause

Yoosung:

  • It’s not like you’re cheating for him
  • I mean, you could hack the LOLOL servers and make him unbeatable
  • But you aren’t
  • Because you don’t condone cheating
  • …much
  • It starts out small
  • There’s a rare drop that Yoosung really wants and he’s decided he’s going to stay up until he gets it
  • that was 3 hours ago it’s 5 am Yoosung go to sleep
  • But he is determined
  • And so you decide that the only way to get him to go to bed is to get him the damn item
  • So here you are
  • At 5 in the god damn morning
  • Hacking into LOLOL to get your dumb boyfriend what he wants so he’ll go the fuck to sleep
  • It was supposed to be a one time thing
  • But he was just so excited when he got it? He got all happy and it made you feel warm and fuzzy inside
  • You weren’t cheating. You just. Made sure he got rare drops and good deals at the shops and stuff.
  • He has no idea.
  • He just thinks he’s had really good luck lately?
  • And then one day Seven is bragging about how he still has the number one spot in LOLOL
  • And you just
  • Fix that
  • It doesn’t count as cheating if you hack a hacker right
  • Everyone knows two hacks make a right. Or something
  • And Yoosung is SO HAPPY
  • And Seven is SO NOT
  • He looks into it because obviously he suspects foul play how else could his precious title be lost like that. And that’s when he finds out LOLOL was hacked
  • “Yoosung are you a secret agent too”
  • “Yoosung how long have you been living this double life”
  • “YOOSUNG WHY HAVE YOU BETRAYED ME”
  • Yoosung is so confused
  • You kind of have to tell them at this point Seven probably already knows tbh
  • Yoosung is… a little bit upset?
  • But when you explain to him that you just did it because you wanted him to be happy and to kick Seven’s ass he’s kind of touched
  • Also his s/o is like a Seven level hacker you must be a genius???
  • Jokes that he’s going to get you to do all his homework I’m kidding MC stop glaring at me please
  • You won’t do it for him but you will definitely help him
  • He honestly sees you as some kind of superhero when you tell him that you’re a hacktivist
  • Superman Yoosung and Wonder MC!

Jaehee:

  • Jaehee is always tired
  • We all know this
  • But she thinks she’s finally starting to lose her mind
  • She keeps turning on her computer to do her work
  • And it’s already done???
  • She doesn’t remember writing this report
  • When did she put this spreadsheet together
  • Is she developing short term memory loss???
  • Have Jumin’s work ethics and cat projects finally snapped her????
  • You end up telling her that you’ve been hacking into her computer to finish her work because you’re worried that if you don’t tell her she will actually lose it
  • (Jumin cuts in like
  • Wait so if you’re a hacker are you the one who keeps changing my phone’s wallpaper to a trashcan labelled “this u”
  • …that’s irrelevant shush)
  • Jaehee makes you promise not to do her work for her anymore
  • Because she has pride and integrity and she can’t let someone else do work assigned to her
  • You agree on the condition that she starts taking care of herself more
  • She says she’ll try but she doesn’t really have the time
  • You shrug and super casually suggest that maybe she’d have more time if you came over more often to help her with stuff
  • And like
  • Maybe you had better stay the night to make sure she actually gets to bed at a reasonable hour
  • And you do this so often
  • That she suggests you just move in in a totally platonic way of course haha
  • And that’s the story of how i met your mother you hacked your way into becoming Jaehee’s roommate

Jumin:

  • You’re not sure what to think when you first meet Jumin
  • As a hacktivist who fights for the little guy you have zero clue how to interact with the Big Guy. 
  • Is Jumin the enemy??
  • You’re distant with him for the first 24 hours as you thoroughly do a background check into his company
  • And it comes up surprisingly clean???
  • C&R is good shit good job Jumin and Mr. Jumin’s dad
  • You’re honestly so relieved because this precious dumb cat mom is not someone you’d want to have to hate
  • Your hacker activities kind of fade to the background for the next few days
  • Except one time when Zen was being rude to Jumin you changed Zen’s profile picture to the most only  unflattering picture of him you could find
  • Then Glam Choi and Sarah show up
  • Seven and Jaehee both have so much work to do so you tell them both not to worry about it
  • You’ll look into it
  • You’re, uh, pretty good at research, you say. You know all about The Googles.
  • How you got the information doesn’t come up until later, after he’s finished with all his dramatic theatrics
  • He asks you how you got it
  • And you figure you might as well be honest since you’re basically engaged at this point
  • “I’m a hacker”
  • He stares at you
  • “Do you mean like Luciel, or…?”
  • You explain to him that you’re more of an independent activist type hacker
  • He doesn’t like it. You could get caught and arrested. 
  • You sarcastically promise that you’ll try your best not to affect his precious reputation while you’re off fighting for truth
  • “I’m not worried about my reputation I’m worried about you.”
  • You blush.
  • Oh. 
  • Well. 
  • You immediately apologize for snapping at him and explain you’re used to people either looking down on you or trying to talk you out of it.
  • But he gets it. He feels the same way about cat projects. It makes sense if you think about it
  • He supports you and is already prepared to throw around all of his power and money if it keeps you from getting caught
  • And if you happen to focus a little stronger on exposing corruption and secrets in C&R’s rival companies that’s just a coincidence~

Seven:

  • When you find out that 707 is a hacker your first thought is
  • HACKER BUDDIES
  • hahaha nope
  • Somehow the fact that you’re a hacker doesn’t come up  until Seven is physically in your apartment
  • And when he does find out his initial reaction is to be suspicious af
  • Can you blame him?
  • A mysterious hacker shows up in the messenger. You show up in the messenger. 
  • A mysterious hacker tries to get into Rika’s apartment. Now you’re in Rika’s apartment. 
  • The fact that Saeran broke in and tried to kidnap you doesn’t make sense but maybe it was a set up
  • He’s tired and confused and angry and upset and he’s not really thinking straight
  • You come back in from the kitchen and he towers over you
  • Are you working with my brotherr?”
  • In hindsight you probably should have told him 
  • It’s an easy enough misunderstanding to clear up
  • But it’s a wake up call for Seven
  • He should have known. It shouldn’t have taken him almost a week to find out that you were a hacker. He should’ve made sure there was no chance you were the hacker from day one. 
  • You really were distracting him
  • So he tells you to let him finish his work in peace
  • You offer to help but he tells you it’s fine, it’s a one person job anyway
  • Over the next two days you ask again several times if there’s anything you can do to help. 
  • You may not be a super secret agent like him, but you’ve helped out on some pretty big hacking jobs before, you know–
  • “You don’t know anything!” 
  •  He’s not some fucking superhero wannabe like you, and you have nothing in common with him so stop trying to act like you’re in this together because you’re not
  • Now can you please take your naive views on justice out of his face so he can finish this?
  • It takes a while for you two to talk again
  • When you do he admits that he doesn’t want to drag you down to his level
  • You’re like the complete opposite of him. You are a superhero. Defender of Justice MC, fighting for the truth.
  • And he’s the opposite… that makes him the villain so please just hate him and let him die alone like villains are supposed to.
  • You shake your head
  • He’s a superhero too. He’s been fighting for the RFA, and for his brother, his entire life. And he’s going to take down the real bad guys and save his brother with you as his sidekick
  • “You know something else about superheros?” You ask him, bringing your hands up to his face.”They always get the girl ;)”
  • “MC did you just say “wink emoji” out loud” “Shut up Saeyoung”
  • After everything settles down he probably helps you with your hacktivist stuff
  • Especially in terms of security. This boy is good at covering his, and now your, tracks.

V:

  • V is a suspicious dude
  • And you really want to like the guy because you’ve been talking to him a lot and he honestly seems like such a sweetheart
  • And you don’t really want to be suspicious of him
  • But you can’t deny that this man is obviously hiding things
  • And it’s obviously causing a lot of unrest in the RFA so
  • You reason that in the end you’d really be doing everyone (V included) a favour by figuring out what’s going on
  • You want to know where he is
  • Seven doesn’t even know where he is
  • And you know Seven could find out if he tried but the boy trusts V so unconditionally he won’t do it
  • Which leaves only one option
  • hacker mode activated
  • He’s using a phone with super amped up security
  • Probably something that Seven gave him
  • But you think you can find him
  • While you’re doing this you also try your hand at tracking the weird emails
  • It takes you two days straight but you finally have the location of both
  • You’re about to message Seven about the hacker’s location (the boy is so overworked you figure he could use a hand)
  • When you notice something
  • The hacker’s location and V’s location
  • Are the same place
  • No
  • no no no no no
  • You call V
  • Again and again and again until he finally answers
  • “…who is this?”
  • What the hell are you doing at the hacker’s building, V”
  • He has to figure out on his own that you’re MC because you haven’t introduced yourself
  • You’re too busy ranting and crying and demanding an explanation
  • V doesn’t know what to do
  • He can’t tell you, he can’t involve you in all of this. But he can’t not tell you because then you’ll tell the rest of the RFA and he can’t involve them in all of this.
  • It’s lose-lose
  • In the end it’s your tears that decide it for him. He can’t stand hearing you cry over him and he wants you to go back to the happy person you were in the chatroom
  • He tells you that he’s there undercover and that it’s complicated
  • You tell him he’s an idiot
  • He says he’s sorry
  • He says that a lot
  • You try to convince him to let you help. You know he has Seven, but you’re a hacker too and–
  • You’re a hacker???
  • Does Rika know?
  • “Please don’t mention that in the RFA messenger.” “Why?” “Just… please.”
  • (He’s worried that Saeran will find out and tell Rika
  • He doesn’t want Rika to try and recruit you or anything)
  • In the end the best you can do is promise him you won’t tell the RFA and make him promise to contact you if he needs anything.
  • This is not something that can be resolved in one headcanons post guys
  • But now that he knows you’re a hacker he’s extra worried about you

Saeran:

  • Saeran is kind of lost in life after Mint Eye
  • He has no experience in literally anything except for hacking and suffering
  • And he’s not content to live a pointless existence slowly wasting away in Saeyoung’s care
  • He’s getting restless because he wants to do something and it’s making him irritated
  • So one day you casually bring up the topic of hacktivism and specifically hacker group Anonymous
  • He’s intrigued
  • And listens attentively as you tell him about all the good things members of the group have done
  • About how they’re people who come together to hack in the name of truth and freedom
  • You tell him you’ve been a fan of them since you were a kid
  • But
  • Saeran is a smart guy
  • And the way you’re talking about the things they’ve done is waaaaay too knowledgeable for you to just be a fan
  • “Well yeah,” you shrug. “I’m a hacker too”
  • He’s shocked
  • You’re a hacker??
  • You’re… like him???
  • You’re surprised he didn’t know. You haven’t been trying to hide it. You’d been trying to hack and trace him since he first messaged you. You had added a whole tone of security measures to your phone and all your online information. Had he seriously not noticed?
  • Well yeah
  • He had just assumed that Saeyoung was the one who’d done all that.
  • There’s no way sweet innocent angelic MC is a hacker
  • Uh yes you are would he like you to prove it?
  • He’s kind of quiet after that
  • He has a lot to think about
  • If you’re like him… does that mean he could be like you?
  • He helps you with your next act of hacktivism
  • And even though it’s just a small thing the change in his mood is almost instant
  • You buy him an Anonymous shirt and he wears it around the house like it’s his own personal superhero outfit it’s so cute

Vanderwood:

  • Fuck
  • No
  • Not another one
  • They swear if you ever hack into their phone and change their background to dumb things they will taser you
  • just ask Zero Seven he knows this from experience
  • They’re lying they would never taser you
  • They’ll just
  • Taser 707 in your place or something
  • Why do you know how to hack anyways
  • Are you an intelligence agent too? Do you need them to help you get out of somewhere or something are you okay
  • You tell them it’s nothing like that
  • You just hack into vorrupt organizations and government officials’ stuff in the name of truth and justice that’s all
  • ’That’s dangerous don’t you know you could go to jail what if you’re caught
  • What the fuck Vanderwood you hypocrite
  • “Are you… worried about me?”
  • “…N-no.”
  • They’re not worried about you they’re just worried because if you get caught then they’re gonna be at risk of getting caught too that’s all
  • And since that’s the case as long as you’re both in this mess together they should probably help you out
  • Y’know. For the sake of your mutual safety.
  • In return for their help you make sure to keep an eye on the movements of what little remains of Vanderwood’s former employers to make sure they’re safe
  • No you don’t have to do that they can take care of themselves
  • “But I’m worried about you.”
  • What
  • You’re worried about them???
  • That’s. Uh. Unnecessary.
  • Why would you be worried about them??
  • “Because I like you.”
  • ?????
  • Oh great, you broke Vanderwood.
This Life I’ve Been Given

Author’s Note: So, here’s a little fluffy ficlet. I hope y’all like it. :)

There weren’t a lot of still moments when it came to Dean Winchester. The hunter was constantly moving, even while sleeping. Dean was still for all of two things: reading something he actually enjoyed and when he was first waking up. So Castiel came to treasure those few still moments he got to enjoy with Dean.

Currently they were in Dean’s bed, Dean in the very beginning stages of awareness and Cas tracing very light circles across the hunters bare back. Castiel was pleased with the way Dean’s muscles contracted and twitched. Dean was so very sensitive and, though the hunter was loathed to admit, loved the attention Castiel gave to him.

“Stoppit.” Dean slurred, his voice rough with sleep.

“Stop what?” Cas asked innocently.

“Y’know what.” Dean grumbled, snuggling deeper into his pillow.

“I don’t.” Cas replied, continuing his ministrations. Cas curved around Dean’s hips and the other man grunted and twitched to the right.

“Cahas.” Dean tried to protest. Cas only smiled and used both hands to reach underneath Dean and scrabble both sets of fingers against Dean’s hips.

Dean jolted and a stream of laughter fell from his lips.

“Ah! Nohohoho! Cahahahas!” Dean squirmed onto his back and reached out to grab Castiel’s hands, but Cas moved on to Dean’s ribs.

“Is this better?” Cas asked, his blue eyes twinkling with mischief.

“Nohohoho! Stahahap!” Dean begged. Cas figured Dean’s mind was still befuddled with sleep, causing his movements to be slower than usual. Not that he was fighting very hard. He would never admit it in a hundred years, but he loved every aspect of tickling. A lifetime of very few happy moments tended to make one grab onto whatever laughter and joy came around very tightly. And Cas never wanted to do anything but bring laughter and joy to Dean.

“I don’t think I will.” Cas smirked, moving back down to Dean’s hips. Castiel scraped his fingers lightly against the bone. Cas watched Dean clench the sheet in his fists, trying his absolute hardest to keep from knocking Cas’ hands away. It was a remarkable show of self control, and only further proved just how much Dean enjoyed this.

“CAS! AH! CAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAS!“ Dean cried just as Cas bent his head down to nibble lightly at Dean’s hip bones.

Cas smiled against his lovers skin. He knew it tickled terribly, but it also gave Dean such great pleasure. And who was Castiel to deny him? So Cas continued on, scraping his teeth lightly against the bones while letting his fingers sweep across Dean’s pants line, pulling his pajama bottoms slightly lower in order to get the extra sensitive line of skin from hip bone to hip bone. Goosebumps erupted all over Dean’s skin, which only encouraged Castiel to continue. Cas moved to the sides, planting tender kisses before going back to nibbling.

“CAHAS! PLEHEHEHEEASE!”

Cas hummed, sending vibrations through Dean’s hips and causing him to laugh even hard. Cas hummed for a few more seconds and then looked up at Dean. The man was an absolute wreck; face red, tears in his eyes and on his face, hair even more mussed than the usual sleep-induced kind.

Cas smirked. “Please what Dean?”

Dean took advantage of the reprieve Castiel was giving him to drag air into his lungs. Cas waited patiently while Dean pulled himself together.

“Are you done?” Dean asked, voice rough but a helpless smile still on his face.

“Well, I haven’t doted upon your right hip yet…” Cas said forlornly. “It would be a travesty if I didn’t bestow upon it the same treatment as your left hip received.”

Dean stiffened as if preparing himself, his smile growing larger on his face. “I’m sure it’ll survive if you don’t.”

Cas nodded in agreement. “I’m sure it will to, but what will that say about me?”

“That you don’t want to torture me?”

“What about consistency Dean?” Cas asked. “You’re always speaking about consistency right?”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Consistency for our k–AH! CAHAHAHAHAHAS! HAHAHA!”

Castiel cut off the rest of Dean’s sentence as he returned the favor to Dean’s right hip. Castiel could think of nothing better than to continue what he was currently doing to Dean for the remainder of the day, but a small knock on the door had both men quickly sitting up and bringing the covers over their laps.

“Is everything okay in there?” A voice asked from the other side of the door.

“Everything’s fine, why don’t you come in?” Cas offered.

The door opened and in ran Mary Ellen, who immediately jumped on the bed and wiggled in between her fathers.

“I thought daddy was being tortured.” The five year old informed them.

“I was.” Dean insisted at the same time Cas replied with, “He wasn’t.”

Mary Ellen giggled insanely as if they had just told the funniest joke, her black curls bouncing with each laugh.

“You think daddy getting tortured is funny?” Dean growled playfully.

Mary Ellen’s eyes widened as she shook her head yes.

“I think someone needs a visit from a certain monster…” Dean raised his hands and wiggled his fingers threateningly.

Mary Ellen scooted closer to Castiel. “Papa help!”

“Oh I’ll help alright.” Cas replied, scooping her into his arms and tickling her stomach, Dean following suit. Their daughter burst into adorable giggles as she was tickled silly by her parents. Cas couldn’t help but think that nothing in the world could ever be better than the life he lived.