i've been attempting to make this for like a month

  • everyone: but why do you never talk about disability stuff?
  • me: i mean i've been trying for months but you either get all silent and weird or instantly try to change the subject every single time.
  • me: it's almost like disability makes people supremely uncomfortable because it reminds them of their own fragility and mortality.
  • me: you don't want to think about how easily you could become a marginalized person like us, so you further marginalize us by silencing us when we attempt to talk about our experiences.
  • everyone: damn, why is disability all you talk about? anyway, how about this weather, am i right?

anonymous asked:

I don't really like myself at this point. I'm getting behind, my friends are kinda toxic, I feel numb and empty. I haven't consistently worked out in just over a month and I've been eating crappy in an attempt to save money (free food). I don't know how to fix it but I hate feeling this way.

(Hug) Hey anon. Here is what I do when I feel overwhelmed. 

  • Breathe - Seriously, take some deep breaths. In an out - will yourself to find calm. This will both make you feel better and prepare you to take your next steps. 
  • Assess - Take an objective review of where you are and what needs work. Write it down, try to be objective and focus on the facts.  Sometimes I find it isn’t as bad as I think. Even if it is, at least I have a real list to start a plan. 
  • Plan - Brainstorm different solutions to your issue. Once you have a good list, ask yourself “What is one thing I can do to help make this issue better?” You can either do the easiest thing (so you get a win) or the most important thing (so you can drive improvements.) Both have merit. 
  • Do - Take the first step toward implementing your plan. Sometimes taking this step makes me feel so much better. 
  • Check - Periodically check on your progress and adjust as needed. 

Let me give you a simplified example, from your note above. This is just example, since I don’t know the details of your situation. 

Problem: I can’t afford healthy food. 

Breathe - Done. I am calm and ready to fix this.

Assess - I am on a fixed budget of X. That barley covers my expenses. I can get free food from my work, though it isn’t the healthiest. While I could probably go on like this, it makes me feel sick and is holding me back from my fitness goals. 

Plan: I have a couple of options: 

  1. Look into the local food bank. It isn’t ideal but this is why they are there. Perhaps I could volunteer to help give back.
  2. Get a part time job. 15 hours a week would be enough to help me eat healthy. It will be hard with my course load but can be done. 
  3.  Stop spending $$ on XYZ. I like it but eating healthy is more important to me. 
  4. Ask my parents for help. I hate to do it, but may need to. 

Do: I am going to 3 and 2 for now and see if I can make it work. I will limit my spending on XYZ to $15 week and will start applying for jobs tonight. 

Check : 2 weeks later I will take a look at how things have changed and adjust as needed. 

This may or may not work for you, but I find using the analytically part of my brain to troubleshoot a problem helps me get out of the emotional overload I feel when I am overwhelmed. 

Good luck anon. 

P.S. Life is too short for toxic friends. (Hugs)