i've been asking for this for years now

i hate when scientists on tv are like ‘this planet cant have aliens on it because there’s no water! the atmosphere is wrong! theres not enough heat to sustain life!’ because dude theyre aliens, nobodys saying they need any of those things to exist

8

modern disney aesthetic
↳ aladdin

kimheenim: 오늘 밤 8시 50분 JTBC <아는 형님>에 이특, 신동이 나온다!!👿🙈🙌
오랜만에 멤버들과 함께하는 예능!! 알콩달콩 케미는 1도 없으니 기대하지마😀😃☺😏
※사진 속 예성은 아무 상관 없음ㅋㅋ#이특 #희님 #신동 #아는형님

[TRANS] Tonight at 8:50, on JTBC, Leeteuk and Shindong will be on <Knowing Brother>!! 👿🙈🙌  It’s been a while since I’ve done variety with the members!! There is not a single lovey dovey moment so don’t expect anything. 😀😃☺😏

※ A photo with Yesung who doesn’t have anything to do with this ㅋㅋ
#Leeteuk #Heenim #Shindong #KnowingBrother
©

Show Me How The Fire Works by turnyourankle

Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson / Explicit / 50k 

The Styles-Twist holiday in the Catskills is supposed to be just that: a family holiday. A last hurrah before Harry relocates to The States for uni. Instead, it quickly devolves into a honeymoon for his parents, leaving Harry and Gemma to fend for themselves. Harry quickly befriends the staff at the resort, and is enticed by Louis, one of the dance instructors. Harry gets in over his head in an attempt to impress him, but with Gemma egging him on and a ticking clock, how could he not at least try?

Or, the Dirty Dancing AU no one asked for.

Written for the @1dbigbang round five. 

Featuring art by @generouslouis

how does one not get stressed

Listen, listen. The fact Eliot Spencer’s response to Parker being upset and asking if they could kill the guy who upset her was a shrug and, “Yeah. I mean, I could.” will never, ever not be important to me.

itsthechangingoftheseasons  asked:

mayuzumi going 5a ( @ kuroko thanks )

5A. I thought it a LOT.. (lol) so i hope you’re pleased with the results. 🍍 🍍 🍍

anonymous asked:

okay, but in regards to the reverse kouhai wars, tbh i think the datekou guys would win that one hands down. when will the third years Give Them Peace

why are they here again 

silver-feather  asked:

Since you posted the Samus photo I have a question that I've kind of been too awkward to ask until now :P With costumes that are so form-fitting like Samus, Mara Jade, and Asuka, what do you wear underneath so that lines don't show through?

This is a GREAT question because I wish someone would have told me what to wear under my bodysuits years ago. 

Shapewear is a wonderful tool and I recommend it to people of all sizes. Not only does this prevent panty lines from showing, it smooths out all your shapes and keeps potential food babies in check. The “wear your own bra” style is extra great and versatile. Body suits tend to compress your chest, so lots of cosplayers (including me) choose to wear padded push-up bras with them to balance the figure and create a more flattering silhouette.

The shapewear acts like a lining that can be washed frequently, so that the whole bodysuit doesn’t have to be. Unless you’re sweating A LOT or something, the bodysuit stays relatively clean.

Here’s the brand/style I actually use: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00284B5G4/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?ie=UTF8&psc=1

On a related note, here is a very important bodysuit undergarment PSA that can’t be shared enough: If you have a penis and you’re wearing a bodysuit, PLEASE wear a dance belt for the love of god. No one wants to see the sad outline of your flaccid wiener. A dance belt is designed to keep your dick under wraps. Google it if you need to.

Good luck with your bodysuit adventures.

anonymous asked:

I'm a girl in 9th grade, and I've had a crush on another girl in 10th grade. We've known each other for 4 years and we've been best friends since day one. Now, she started being home-schooled recently and I really miss her (even if she only lives a few streets away), and I had no clue what her sexuality was until a month ago. She's pan. And she's an absolutely angel. So, a few hours ago, I asked her out after finally building up the courage to do so. She's my girlfriend now, and I'm so happy

this is the purest ask i’ve ever gotten thank you so much for sharing and i hope u two have a long and happy relationsHIP !!!!

laelaloo  asked:

Okay, I'm looking to get a cockatiel. I've been looking into them for WEEKS now, but I still feel unprepared, and I really want to get some actual first-hand knowledge from a person. I'm really not sure what to ask specifically! ^^; Any tips you'd give me, this being my second bird--after a budgie--and my first cockatiel? (Any knowledge at all would be helpful! from recommended cage size to what might be a good healthy diet!~) Please and thank you~~

hey darling!!! god sorry its taken me forty years to get to my ask, i’ve been so swamped at work IT SUCKS

THIS IS GONNA BE LONG

OKAY, HERE IS THE INFO I CAN GIVE YA FOR A COCKATIEL:

1) ALWAYS ADOPT. i know you see that cute birbo in the pet store window, but please, PLEASE, refrain from purchasing him.  there are currently THOUSANDS of homeless birds in north america alone that need you to be their guardian. i know you want to save that baby from the pet store, but doing so continues the cycle.  they’ll just replace him and the horror continues.

2) GET THE BIGGEST CAGE YOU CAN AFFORD! do not listen to what the pet store clerk says (lol i worked in a pet store and straight up i would discourage people from birds EVERYDAY and tell them to rescue and that none of our cages are big enough, and they listened and adopted and im surprised the boss didn’t find out and fire me HAHAHHA) i would go to a bird specialty store to find your cage - you want to make sure it is durable enough, the bar spacing is correct (for a cockatiel you want them no more than half an inch space, theyre little and you dont want them to get stuck!!) i suggest powder coated cages, they’re easiest to clean the poop out of!!!!

3) GOOD DIET IS SO IMPORTANT. STAY AWAY FROM SEED!!!! seed despite popular belief is not very good for them.  it causes fatty liver disease and can make them ill and shorten their lifespan. (rose is now put on milk thistle-it buffersthe liver, as from the shit sanctuary she was from… god knows what she ate so now im in the process of getting her liver spiffy clean!) a good PELLET DIET is SO, SO SO SO IMPORTANT. and dont be discouraged, it is very hard to change a birb from seed diet to pellet.  so you have to change it over gradually and honestly, it can take a year to get that done.  rose is picky as hell, but i found a pellet she likes which are the Zupreem fruit pellets.  they’re not the healthiest, but they’ll do as now she is eating by herself.  i used to have to hand feed her ALL THE TIME like the diva she is.

 Here is a list of good pellets!! (from best to ok)

- Goldenfeast Goldenobles (quinoa based instead of corn, i wanna change rose to this when she’s ready!!)

- Harrisons Fine High Potency (start with high potency and then go to adult formula - gives em the nutrients they need for switching. corn based, and not my fav but it is vet reccommended but id say goldenfeast is better as corn aint that great)

- Pretty Bird (fruity and like, kinda okay? its better than zupreem lmfao but its very sweet, and makes their poo colourful)

- Zupreem (available at most pet stores, comes in fruit, veggie, nut, and natural flavours. what Rose eats and its a pretty good food. i believe its corn and soy based, not the best, and there is sugar in it, but its a good starter for your bird as they will most likely eat it because its colourful and sweet!!! from having Rose on a pellet diet - her plumage looks AMAZING)

all those brands come in different size pellets, i would go with the SMALLEST as it is easier for them to eat, and if you mix it with seed it kinda blends in hehe

4) DON’T JUST FEED PELLETS. A birbos diet should be 80% pellets (give or take) and 20% fruits, veggies, grains, and good stuff!!!! making a chop is a good idea, and you can freeze it and take out some everyday for their breakfast/dinner!!! Rose is very picky, and a rescue may be too, but do some research on what good fresh foods are good for birds!!! rose’s fav are zuchinni, peppers, pasta, scrambled egg (shes obsessed with egg) and chinese snow pear!!!

5) LOTS OF TOYS, AND THINGS TO DO!!! PIMP out their cage with dope toys, various perches and material (AVOID SAND ONES, HURTS THEIR TOES. get natural wood, rope (if u know they wont shred and accidentally eat it) and various thicknesses!!!) and im not saying spend a fortune (whcih i have with rose omfg) undyed popsicle sticks are amazing, paper, toilet paper rolls, cardboard etc they LOVE. but also, a good store bought toy is nice too!!! but most you can make from home!! plus i have a store where i have handmade toys, ill be posting more selection too!!

6) BE PATIENT WITH THE BABY! they most likely won’t warm up to you RIGHT AWAY (i mean they might, depends on their personality!) so do not feel discouraged if they dont want to play or cuddle right away. and heck, they may not even like cuddles. they’re as much as individuals as we are as humans. rose is usually attached to my shoulder all day, but some days honestly she just plays by herself and doesn’t want me to play with her HAHAHA. when you bring them home, introduce them to their cage and let them hang inside and get used to it.  sit near them and chat and offer some millet and let them come to you.  its a whole new world for them, so allow them some time!!!

7) and the most controversial topic… TO CLIP OR NOT TO CLIP? okay, my two cents on clipping goes as written.  if it is safer for them in your house, please get their wings properly by an avian vet or an experienced staff memeber at a bird specialty store. clipping them incorrectly can cause balance issues and confidence issues and trust issues. NEVER CLIP THEM YOURSELF AS THEIR OWNER. THEYLL BE PISSED AF. and most likely scared of you. if your house is unsafe -ie people coming in and out, small space, lots of windows, forgetful people that leave windows open, PLEASE CLIP THEM. it will save their life and prevent any deadly accidents.

if you HAVE THE SPACE. and know that they will be safe, and you believe they will be okay, leave them flighted!! it is much easier i must say having smaller birds flighted as they won’t be as cramped in a house as a big bird would be.  Rose is flightless as she chews her flight feathers, but they are growing back.  and even if they all did, my place is way to small to allow her to fly properly so i would keep her clipped for her safety.  also, if there was an emergency - such as a fire - it is much easier to evacuate a flightless bird than a flighted one.  i have really bad ocd when it comes to impulsive thinking and i obsess over how i would get rose out in a fire all the time… so keep a pillow case by the cage, and if god forbid that happened, grab your baby, toss em in the pillow case (protects them from smoke inhalation) AND HIGH TALE THEE FUCK OUT OF THERE. and that would be easier if they are clipped… just food for thought.  

anyway i hope this helped you and others maybe too!! im sorry this took forever to get to, my lifes been insane.  please do TONS OF RESEARCH TOO and look into rescues. if you need any more help let me know my love <3

Originally posted by potatopato

hey everyone thanks! first of all, i’m flattered you’re asking me of all people questions about process and stuff. second of all, i hope this stuff will be helpful to you. but i get the impression that everyone’s process is different because people are different in terms of how we visualize the world around us or the images in our heads. for example, i sincerely hate doing linework and i will avoid it to my death because i visualize images in color blocks, not lines. other people love linework and emphasize that part of the process the most.

thirdly, thanks for the nice things you say.

so this is kind of my process (for this spring weather thing here). details under the read more cut.


Keep reading

monochromatic-stardust  asked:

I've been reading your books since I was like 8 and I still don't know how to phrase this? So 20 years later, looking back I have to ask. The relationship between Daine and Numair and the age difference and power dynamic initially, I now see as having kinda unsettling overtones. She's a teen, he isn't. Any expansion or discussion you'd have to keep real teens from following her footsteps? As a teen I thought it was terribly romantic and all.

The thing I keep having to explain is that this is a medieval period, similar to the edge of the Rennaissance but not quite. This is a period where marriages were arranged or made where the bride was often as young as twelve or fourteen. The way I have it set in my own universe, there are girls and boys getting married as young as fourteen to sixteen in the Lower City. Some of the upper classes may wait as long as eighteen, and their marriages are arranged. 

In those days, young men had a hard time finding work that would support them AND a family, so they would often wait until they were older to marry. In the upper classes, in the merchant classes, a man would need to be sufficiently in craft or status to have a wife. Numair was only then of an age, as a mage, to think about taking a wife if he were to ever really focus on such a thing. (He’s usually thinking of other things.) Daine, at seventeen, is teetering on the verge of being an old maid. 

It makes contemporary people uncomfortable, but I try to keep the historic elements of my books as close as possible to actual history. 

anonymous asked:

What are these 'warior cats'?

oh you precious, pure, innocent creature, untainted by the cruel world of Warriors……

so here’s the wikipedia run-down to start off

basically warriors is this huge ass clusterfuck about these feral cats that live in a colony in a forest comprised by four (five) clans. they have a hierarchy and territory and roles and stuff and everything. it’s actually really interesting. it’s composed (at the current time) of six sub-series along with a ton of other special edition books and other content and whatnot. and it’s getting a movie produced by david heyman, the producer of the harry potter movies! which… is arguably the best and worst thing to happen to warriors,,,, a movie is either going to be massively great or terribly awful.

but yeah back to the main point. long ass book series about cats. i started reading it in 2004.

here you have the six series + the blanket title of all the super editions. there are also these weird manga adaptations (yikes) and some really awesome field guides, along with some novellas. all of which add to the world and lore that is warrior cats.

also some of the official art is pretty as heck. here, have my favorite characters: ivypool and hollyleaf.

there’s a ton of fan content that’s really great, too. from fan art to fan fiction to amv/pmv/maps on youtube, etc. everything you could ever want or need the fandom provides. if you want to see some really rad fanart, check out my favorites: @climbstudio, @nmirah, and @oakyhearts. there are a ton of really, really talented content creators out there.

basically warriors is worse than pjo/hoo hell. i’m not kidding. i’ve been in this cat hell since 2004. that’s 13 years. 13 years of cat hell. no one else can get on this level. at all. i swear it. because one you’re in you can’t get out. it’s worse than anything else. all you think about, talk about, and breathe is cats. to the point where people have learned about cat genetics just for the sake of pointing out inaccuracies in warriors and being smarter than the people who write the books.

the books are great but they also suck. so many issues and plot holes and characters that get fucked up and you wouldn’t even understand most of what i would attempt to explain since you haven’t read them. just know weird shit happens. all the time.

also there used to be an official message board for it, and that was rad. from 2009 to 2016 existed this crazy realm where people talked about cats and stuff. (RIP now that it’s shut down.)

                                                                                               (x)

this is the original skin of it (it changed a couple times over the years) and i was on it from the beginning. this place sucked you in even worse by connecting you hardcore and officially to other cat hellions like yourself. i was actually part of a group that got titled the “ootsians”, and we recently all reconnected after drifting apart for a couple of years. it’s been one Hell of an experience, let me tell you. but really i’m thankful for it—i love my friends.

there’s a new, unofficial message board now, too, which i have an account on but since i’m behind on the books i don’t go on much.

basically, once you get in, you can never get out. like i said, i’ve been stuck here for thirteen years and i’m dead. i have no soul. cat hell has taken over my life. RIP in fuckn pieces.

this is way more than you asked for but this doesn’t even skim the surface, anon. warriors is more than a book series about cats. it’s a culture and a lifestyle. and i hate myself for loving it.

cosmopoeicpower  asked:

i just recently fell in love with your art, and i've been seeing a lot of witchsona commissions, so i was wondering: do you have a witchsona? maybe i passed by it but i thought id ask!

I do! Though I haven’t drawn one for myself for the past two years, so these are pretty old now.

anonymous asked:

Hello, I've never really done any kind of spirit work before, aside from some memories of when I was very young and experimenting, though I didn't know what I was doing. I see there are many different ways of doing spirit work, do you have any recommendations of where to start for a beginner?

Hey there Anon! 

First of all, I’m super honored because this is my first anon (!!!) So thank you for asking! 

When it comes to spirit work, everyone’s path is different. For me, how I really started getting it was through reading tarot cards. I’ve been reading for almost two years now, and when I started to really get into it and trusting my intuition, I noticed that sometime I’d pick up on “presences” around the people I read for. Usually I’d tell them what I was getting, and slowly I started to get better at sensing those around me. 

One thing that really helped was astral traveling and/or journeying to the Underworld. This website is what helped me get into it and its a pretty good source: http://www.sacredserpent.net/underworld.html 

Meditation works really well too. I started off using guided meditations (ones to find your guides and spirits that have been with you for a while). I’d suggest that before you go poking around the Veil or really astral traveling to try and contact your guide. It’s a lot safer and it’s really nice to have them there to help you out of a tough situation. There’s a ton of guided meditations on youtube (https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=meet+your+spirit+guide). A lot of them are super long, so don’t feel bad if you can’t focus long enough and need to stop. I usually only went for 10-15 minutes in the beginning. 

Energy Manipulation is another technique that I’ve used. Once you start feeling your own energy and getting used to others, you can start tapping into feeling spirit’s energies. I used to make energy balls and shields just for fun or when I was waiting in line at the grocery store. It’s pretty discreet once you get the hang of it and its a good way to pass time. It’ll also help you get used to expending more energy constantly, so you won’t be as exhausted after you astral travel or manipulate the veil. Here’s another source I used a lot: http://www.2empowerthyself.com/the-complete-beginners-guide-to-energy-manipulation-part-1/

If you’ve got a green thumb, you can work with plants and try to feel their energy and spirit. I’m personally terrible with plants and all of them die under my care (;.;) so I’m not as familiar with this one. For some, it’s easier to feel and work with plant spirits, so go ahead and try it! It’s possible to do this with crystals as well. You could also get a spirit companion from a spirit shop! (I did this, but after some I had a little bit of experience under my belt. It has helped a lot with communication). 

Finally, Divination is a good way to communicate with spirits. Experiment and find out what works best for you! Pendulums, tarot cards, shufflemancy, and all other forms are nice. Just make sure you know that a spirit is communicating with you, since most of these forms will offer results even if there is no spirit around. Most of the time, you’ll just know or it’ll be a feeling that there’s someone with you. I understand how unhelpful that is, since I was in the same boat a while ago–however, it’s honestly really true. Once you start working with your energy and the spiritual realm, you’ll develop an intuition that’ll help you figure it out. 

Don’t be discouraged if it’s difficult at first! Things will come to you with time. If you can’t feel anything–not even your own energy at first–don’t worry! I was in the same exact boat you were. Though since you said you’ve already had some experiences with it when you were younger, I have a feeling it might come a lot more natural to you than you expect ;)

Sorry this is so long! And thanks for listening to me ramble. I hope this is what you were looking for, anon! Happy spirit working :D

-Llama

anonymous asked:

9, 12, or 46 if you still want suggestions for the prompts. also, i love your writing style. also, sorry for being awkward – i've never sent an ask before. greetings from munich!

I’ll post 12 and 46 in separate posts :) And thank you so much <3<3 you’re so sweet! You don’t seem awkward at all, no apology necessary. Did a fifth year fic.

9. “I’m more afraid of myself than you.”

Simon

Simon had been tracking Baz for months now and had very little to show for it. Once he had even caught up with Baz in the Catacombs but that had ended on a very strange and unsatisfactory note. Unfortunately Baz was better at hiding his vampirism than Simon had originally assumed he’d be. 

Tonight Simon had taken more precautions than ever before. Using a quiet as a mouse, Simon had made sure that even Baz’s vampire hearing wouldn’t catch the sound of his footsteps. Silently he maintained a careful distance from Baz as he weaved through the Wavering Wood. 

Simon hadn’t thought about what he would do if he caught Baz in the act. He was pretty sure that he was more likely to get lost than actually keep up with Baz, let alone catch him drinking blood. But he was determined to try his best and figure out the rest later. 

Simon paused as he realized that in getting caught up in his own thoughts he’d forgotten to pay attention to where he was going. What was worse, he wasn’t even sure he was still tracking Baz. He sighed. This was what Penny had warned him would happen. With a glance around him he determined that yes, he was lost and no, Baz was nowhere to be found. At least, that was what he thought.

Suddenly hands grabbed him behind and wrenched him backwards into a tree. Baz was glaring at him, his eyes burning with rage in the dark. Simon didn’t say anything, too shocked to come up with anything. Baz had not been there a second ago, he was almost certain of it. Plus, Simon was a solidly built guy; Baz should not have been able to throw him around like a rag doll. He knew vampires were strong and fast; but somehow he’d not truly believed Baz to be a vampire until this moment.

“What are you doing Snow?” Baz said.

“I-I told you. I told you I would find out.”

Baz seemed more likely to kill him than he had ever before. Simon knew this, yet he couldn’t shake the building excitement inside of him. There was something about the way Baz’s hand was gripping him and the blazing intensity in his eyes that had Simon’s nerves jumpy.

“And it never occurred to you that if you were right, chasing me into the forest was the worst possible thing you could do?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Baz said with clenched teeth, “That if I’m a vampire, you’re dinner.”

Simon swallowed uncomfortably. As it turned out he hadn’t considered that Baz hunting would be dangerous to him. But it made sense. Why would Baz eat subpar rats if he could have a human being? A human being he hated, at that.

Baz’s eyes flickered to track the movement in Simon’s throat as he swallowed. He knew his Adam’s apple was obvious but he wasn’t sure what it had to do with Baz being hungry. 

“So what are you going to do?” Simon said.

Baz studied his face for what seemed like forever. Then he was loosening his grip and turning away.

“Just leave, okay?”

Simon knew he should listen, that it was time to go. But he couldn’t suppress the strange desire to push Baz further. He stepped forward with one hand reaching to Baz.

“What are you doing?” Baz said.

“I’m not sure,” Simon responded honestly.

He backed Baz up into a different tree. In truth, the rational part of Simon’s mind was screaming at him to run and never look back, and not just because of Baz being a vampire. No, there was something scarier hovering above them both in the wood, something that made Simon shiver with anticipation just as much as fear. 

“Snow….”

He glanced up and was surprised to see his feelings mirrored in Baz’s grey eyes.

“What?” He said.

Baz looked away from him.

“We can’t do this.”

“What is this?”

Baz’s eyes flashed.

“Even you can’t be that thick.”

Simon stepped forward, pinning Baz to the tree with his chest. There was something raging underneath his skin that was fighting to get out. He wanted to find purchase in the feeling of Baz’s skin, his hair, his mouth. 

“Why can’t we? Are you afraid of me?” Simon said.

Baz laughed coldly.

“Of you? Snow, I’m more afraid of myself than you.”

Baz said this while exposing his teeth in an eerie smile. His canine teeth were lengthened and sharp, Simon didn’t recoil, didn’t even pause to think about it. Instead, he leaned forward and pushed his fingers into Baz’s raven hair. Baz tensed, as if Simon were trying to hurt him, but didn’t tell him to stop. Simon looked into Baz’s eyes, giving him the chance to throw him off. When he didn’t Simon leaned forward and kissed him lightly, careful not to nick himself on Baz’s fangs.

Baz seemed uncomfortable, like kissing didn’t come naturally to him. But then Simon was opening Baz’s mouth and Baz didn’t seem so caught up in thinking anymore. He felt Baz’s hands reaching up to grip his neck, his cold lips insistent on his mouth. It was thrilling, more so than Simon would have thought possible hours before, and Simon realized dizzily that he had wanted this for a long time.

With a gasp Baz threw Simon off. Simon stumbled backwards but didn’t fight it. He knew if Baz needed him to back away it was serious. With a furtive glance he saw that Baz had his hands on his knees.

“I almost…bit you,” He said, voice breathless.

“I wouldn’t have stopped you.”

“I know.” Baz said.

They stared at each other, neither of them saying a thing. 

“You still afraid?” Simon asked.

Baz straightened and seemed to assess himself. After a moment he walked up to Simon and shyly grabbed his hand.

“Yes. But I don’t care anymore.”

Simon smiled and gripped Baz’s hand tightly.

“Good.”

anonymous asked:

Hiya I sent you an ask about a fic about Kara dealing with body issues (I know you're swamped so please don't worry about answering it soon!) b/c I have a lot of issues with my own body and it's just getting really bad. I feel like there's this voice in my head every time I walk by a mirror that's just really fucking mean and I feel crazy. But I've been working harder at the gym for the last year and I'm hoping that'll make it stop. It just sucks b/c I can't go too often now with school and all.

Alex used to tease her about it – I hope you get fat, she joked as she passed her the last potsticker – and it didn’t feel bad when Alex did it. In fact, it was pretty funny, because it’s Alex.

It still feels funny when the woman at Noonan’s asks how she eats so many sticky buns and still looks like she does, because she answers that she’s an alien, and the woman thinks it’s a joke.

So it’s funny.

But it’s also not funny.

It’s also not funny because her muscles aren’t what her cousin’s are.

It’s also not funny because Mon-El just assumes he’ll be stronger than her because he’s a man, because he’s bigger than her, and she knows he never will be, but sometimes she’s not sure.

It’s also not funny because Alex is solidly human, and James is solidly human, and they can survive – they do survive – without any powers. Without any powers except their training and their wits and their very small, very human, very not-Kryptonian, strength.

They can do what Kara does, but they distinctly cannot fly and they distinctly cannot bench press an airplane.

And she doesn’t hate it. But she hates it.

Because if they’re that strong, and she has powers, but they can survive the same kind of work she does, how weak must she be? How much weakness, how much mediocrity – and Alex wasn’t the only one raised by parents who expected perfection – lives in her skin?

Skin that lasted when everyone else died.

A face that forces a smile when she doesn’t feel it at all.

Hands that all the social media feeds make jokes about what they can do, but really, she just wants to be able to touch someone full force, outside of the green room, without worrying about breaking them?

Because they might be better than her, tougher, more innately strong, more innately special, but she can still break them, completely by accident.

Because her body is not in her control. But it is. But it isn’t. But it is.

But it isn’t.

Mirrors remind her.

Remind her that she must really be nothing special, must really look like nothing special – must really be on just this side of ugly enough to ignore, to not even register, to be completely indifferent to – because they’re all fooled by glasses, because Leslie Willis wasn’t wrong about her awkwardness, her inability to know what to do with her hands, with her face, with her whole damn body.

Her whole damn body that can lift busses and deflect bullets, but that she can’t bring herself to love.

Leslie Willis – Livewire – saw right through her uniform, straight into her damn body.

And everyone else probably does, too.

So she changes in a rush, always.

She changes with Barry Allen-type speed. Always. Even when there’s no emergency.

No point dwelling on what no one’s ever going to notice anyway, unless the uniform catches their eye. No point dwelling on what no one’s ever going to want anyway, unless for the power trip of bedding a Super.

Except, no one sees her with her glasses, so that would never even be a thing.

She doesn’t think about Maggie.

Doesn’t think about how her sister’s girlfriend saw her.

She doesn’t think about how Cat saw her.

How James saw her (sure, he already knew. But still. Still.).

How sometimes, she sees flickers in Lena’s eyes that make her think she sees her, too.

She doesn’t think about these people, these people who see her, who would tell her without hesitation that she is worth seeing – that her body is worth seeing, worth lingering on, worth living in. Worth loving.

She hates how scattered her thoughts are. How contradictory.

How nonsensical.

How raging.

How real.

Alex notices first, that it’s getting worse lately. Kara’s hatred of her own body, of its contradictions, of its dual invisibility and hypervisibility, how everyone wants it and yet nobody notices it. How everyone wants her and yet nobody notices her.

Alex notices.

The way Kara skips quickly over the photos that include her when they’re scrolling through which pictures from game night to throw up on Instagram.

The way she jumps and squirms when Eliza is visiting and tells her how beautiful she looks.

The way she avoids mirrors like a vampire desperate to not be discovered.

“So you’ve seen it, too?” Maggie whispers to her one game night as she watches Alex squinting closely at the way Kara’s hand keeps running over her abs, like she’s trying to reassure herself of something, like she’s trying to wish herself into something, out of something.

Because apparently, Maggie notices, too.

Alex just nods, because she doesn’t bother being surprised with what close attention, with what close concern, Maggie watches over her little sister. She’ll reward her for it later. For now, she’s just scared.

Because Kara’s been particularly unsteady lately, and Kara is training harder than ever at the DEO, and she’s eating less potstickers than normal, and it’s a horrendous and scary combination.

By unspoken agreement, Alex and Maggie linger after game night. They linger after Winn and James give their hugs and leave together, still laughing about who would have won Jenga if a certain someone hadn’t faked a sneeze.

“Hey Kara, I just… I wanted to let you know that you’re gorgeous,” Maggie says casually as she washes dishes, and Kara nearly drops a plate.

“Hey, you’re dating my sister, I mean – “ She tries laughing it off, but the hue of her face and the strickennss of her eyes and the way she’s adjusting her glasses furiously give her away.

Alex smiles. “She is, and I’m standing right here, and you know what? I love that she loves you like she does. That she sees you. All of you, Kara. And she thinks what she sees is beautiful. Because it is. You are.”

Alex is talking casually, too, drying dishes and putting them away in the shelves Maggie can’t reach.

Alex might not have superhearing, but she hears her sister gulp, and she might not have mind-reading abilities, but she can all but hear the voices in Kara’s head telling her that her sister and her girlfriend are lying, they’re being nice because they feel bad for her, they’re exaggerating because they love her – for some reason she can’t possibly fathom – and more importantly, if she’s not feeling good about herself, she’ll be less effective as Supergirl, and…

Kara doesn’t know she’s started sniffling and crying until Alex’s arms are wrapped around her, until Maggie’s turned off the sink and is standing against the counter with her arms folded across her own chest, hugging herself as Alex hugs Kara, as Alex holds the body that feels worthless to Kara up from falling, up from figuring out how best to destroy itself, up from figuring out how best to dismantle itself in disguise as trying to make it better.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Alex is soothing her, and Kara tries to push her away, because she doesn’t deserve to be soothed, she didn’t mean to break, she didn’t mean to tell anyone, she didn’t mean to, but her body’s betrayed her again with its tears and its quaking, but Alex knows, and Alex has planted her feet, and Kara doesn’t put any real heart behind the push anyway, because Alex is kissing her forehead like she loves her and supporting her weight like it’s nothing and rubbing her back like it’s beautiful and whispering to her like she’ll never lose faith in her, even if Kara loses faith in herself.

“You’re perfect, Kara,” Maggie is whispering, then, because Alex is using all her energy holding her little sister up. “It’s okay if you can’t feel it now. Your sister and I will feel it enough, believe it enough, for you, until you can figure out a way to believe it yourself. Okay?”

She’s helpless in Alex’s arms and under the thrall of Maggie’s soft words, and she nods as she sniffles and sobs and sobs and sobs.

When she’s stopped shaking quite so much – when she feels like there’s no water left inside her, when she’s wept her way through her thoughts, through her deepest fears, through her stickiest shames, through her toughest contradictions – she just clings to Alex life the lifeline that she is.

She lets Alex carry her to bed and tuck her in like she used to when they were kids and she’d had another nightmare.

“Stay?” she grabs Alex’s hand after she kisses her forehead and starts to stand.

“Of course,” she says without hesitation, and Maggie leans in to kiss Alex’s cheek.

“See you in the morning, ba – ” she starts, but Kara cuts in.

“You too, Maggie?”

Maggie grins down at her girlfriend’s little sister and nods. “Anything you need, Little Danvers. Anything you need.”

okay so i have a Problem regarding the fact that i may or may not have to quit bassoon next year, for reasons that i will explain under the cut. which aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i dont wanna

this is super long (really. i’m not kidding.) so i’m putting a cut here

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