i've actually given up caring now and it feels so good!

anonymous asked:

Hi :) I'm really new, like, just discovering spirit work and haven't really started yet new, I was wondering if you knew any good/reliable resources or posts or anything like that for beginners that you could please point me to? I've seen plenty of posts with advice about being careful and protected and what NOT to do but I'm struggling to find anything on what I /am/ supposed to do. I have absolutely no idea HOW I'm supposed to start 😅

Ok I said I wasn’t helping people any more but I have an hour before work so

Crann’s methods of how to actually do spirit work in a real way that will benefit you and the spirits around you.

MAJOR ULTRA UPG WARNING AHEAD

So there are different varieties of spirits and you will interact with them in different ways. Most people’s spirit companions are a lot like “people”. They have egos, personalities, minds, memories, a sense of individuality, and a way of experiencing reality that mirrors our human experience of reality.

“People” spirits are just one small type of spirit in the universe. There are many spirits which are not “people” in the slightest yet which are still real and valuable allies, and I fear a lot of people ignore these powerful spirits because they are more difficult to relate to. There are spirits which may as well reside in a different universe, given how alien they are to our small human minds.

Alright so we want to do some real spirit work am I right?

Step one: Find a plant.

Benefits of plant communication: 

  • They tend to sit still and not run away from you.
  • They will not become uncomfortable if you silently stare at them for several minutes
  • They are usually quiet patient and forthcoming with their answers

Caveat: If you are looking for a more magical experience, seek out a plant high on the scale of magical properties. Most any plant will speak to you, but magical plants have a benefit to them. For one they have often already agreed to work with humanity so you’ve got a foot in the door. For another they tend to have more interesting things to say, and may give you advice on your magical practices and how to improve them.

It is spring season so it shouldn’t be hard to go to the local home center and pick up a nice sprouted herb and a pot :) 

Sit down with your plant of choice (it need not be a magical herb, a tree outside or a nice bush will do). Touch its leaves to introduce yourself. Take a deep breath and release all thought within your mind. Send a single message: “Hello, will you talk to me?” Take a deep breath and release all thought within your mind.

Then wait for the plant to talk back.

You may experience words, feelings, emotions, images, or other mental stimuli. If the plant suddenly pricks you or stings you, it is not interested in talking. If you get no reply at all from a plant, leave it alone and find another. If you are having very little success, seek out a magical herb (living or dried) and try that instead.

The purpose of speaking with plants is to get in some practice. Learning how to quiet things down in your mind so you have an opportunity to hear answers. Not to mention that plants are some of the earliest and most ancient teachers ^-^

Use this same technique for crystals and elements of nature such as rivers, caves, hills, even roads :) Try it for animals as well although they do not often like to patiently sit still!

Then I suppose at some point you would like to talk to non-corporeal spirits, like elementals and fairies and so on :) This is where things get a little different!

When talking to a plant there is in my opinion little risk of danger (although I have been attacked by plant spirits before). When you move on to incorporeal entities things get a bit rougher. A bit more dangerous. So you’ll want to have your protective amulets, your protective circle, and your banishing materials in place. At this point you should also be reading resources on the type of spirit you wish to commune with, to learn the proper etiquette and ways to deal with these spirits.

Go to where you feel these incorporeal spirits would be. Clear your mind and just as you called to the plant, call to the spirit. Speak to it using your personal technique you have learned communing with plants. Send away the spirit safely and politely when you are finished speaking with it, and remove yourself respectfully.

Now earlier I mentioned that spirit contact can be used for your benefit and the benefit of the spirits ^-^

The spirits may sometimes ask you for help. As a physical being you can do lots of things that incorporeal beings can’t manage. For example a house plant asking for more water is a way you can oblige the spirit world :) Or a forest tree may ask you to pick up litter. There are deeper and more mystical things a spirit may ask of you besides obvious offerings but those are things for you to discover down your path. At least on my path I can say that the more I interact with spirits, the more I help them and the more they help me.

So suppose you need some help in your life! Pray to the Universe or your gods or your higher powers to send you a spirit that can help you. Reach out to your spirit guides. Go to a place of power or a place you often commune with the spirits and ask for help in exchange for offerings. 

REMEMBER THIS. There is ALWAYS an exchange. This doesn’t mean loss —– there is just always an exchange. You do not interact with spirits and stay the same person when you are done, even if you change by a hair’s breadth. 

Now just some random tidbits…

  • Start small! You are level 1. Start with level 1 spirits. You feel me?
  • Life gets in the way. We all get that. If life gets in the way for you a lot, DO NOT make promises to commune with spirits regularly. 
  • Don’t put up with assholes. Seriously. There are so many good, beautiful, wonderful spirits in the Universe that are eager to be our friends and teachers. Don’t fucking put up with Mr. Dickbutt just because he gives you the thrill of spirit communication. Get rid of spirits that do not uplift you.
  • The “spirit communication muscle” takes time to grow. Don’t expect to be connected to the spirit world all day as soon as you start out. Exhausting yourself is counter-productive and unhealthy.

anonymous asked:

lately i've found myself actively disliking wearing cosplay. i still enjoy making costumes and talking shop with other cosplayers, but the joy i used to feel while wearing what i've made has died a lot. have you ladies ever gone through this? is there a way to get that feeling back?

Absolutely. This was me to a T for a solid two or so years, from Madoka all the way to Fire Emblem just last year, which was weird considering I used to jump at literally any excuse to get in costume. Getting out of it is really about getting to the bottom of why you started to feel that way, though, and what your priorities are. For me, it was three things –– being so tired of a project that by time I finished it I loathed the idea of putting it on, starting to feel my age in costumes designed for characters in their early teens, and feeling tired of conventions in general. Here’s how I got it back: 

I decided to stop taking on projects I wasn’t really passionate about. After Overwatch and Inuyasha (which we committed to last year) we have no plans for big groups where everyone picks a character regardless of interest level. Since I do the bulk of the planning and sewing for our groups, I felt I had to lessen the load on myself in order to enjoy making costumes for myself again, so going forward we’re going to be structuring groups a little differently. A big part of this is not investing hundreds of hours into costumes I don’t care for, as it takes time away from the things I actually do want to make AND wear. I feel like there’s a huge pressure in the community to constantly have new finished costumes and that’s way too stressful and takes away my enjoyment of the craft when everything is about rapid turnover.

I confronted the fact that I am not a teenager anymore. I’m not youthful person and I have never looked young for my age, so it stands to reason that I didn’t feel convincing dressed as a fourteen year old. I took the “anyone can cosplay anything” philosophy too far and pushed myself out of my comfort zone when I really didn’t need to, and it had the adverse effect of making me feel like Sakaki in the swamp instead of feeling cute. As a result, I don’t do schoolgirls and idols and magical girls so much anymore. Now, I’m working on embracing cosplaying older or more mature-looking characters that I used to really want to do when I was younger. The new motto, spiritually jacked from Ratatouille: anyone can cosplay anything, but it doesn’t mean everyone will feel great in anything.

As for conventions: this took some finagling. One, it took starting to go to conventions outside of our usual haunts. After 10+ years, Anime North and FanExpo feel tired. Absolutely EXHAUSTING. It’s the same thing every year, and the conventions have stagnated so much that I feel like just about everyone goes out of habit rather than any real excitement or joy for it. I mean, if we’re going exclusively for a reason to dress up, why not go shooting for a weekend with friends or something? So we branched out and started going to American cons. It’s been phenomenal, honestly, and going to cons outside our area has made me relish conventions like new again. Going to Katsucon was the most fun I’ve had at a convention since my very first one, honestly! And a part of that is part two: meeting new people. I’ve been a hermit for yeaaaaars in the cosplay community, seldom venturing outside this tumblr and whatnot, but this past year I’ve started making a lot of close friends through social media and it really hypes me up to wear costumes and go to conventions again, as I’m sharing it with new friends whose vibrancy, passion and excitement is infectious. (Shout out here to Krista, Christen, Max, Bono, Tori, Mia, Tracey and the many others too numerous to name but all equally loved who have given me reason to love this hobby again in the past year!)

Anyway: I care again. I haven’t felt so excited for my upcoming costumes (Mercy, Luna and InuYasha!) in a decade.

- Jenn

If it’s a costume I don’t feel very good enough, yeah, I’ll be meh about it, but I try to find costumes I’m super passionate about because it makes all the difference! Like, I felt OK in Sailor Mars, but she wasn’t my favourite scout, so it was natural to not feel as passionate about it. But I feel amazing in Sumia because I feel I can portray her very well, so I find something I’ll feel so good in, and I had a hand in. I like projects that are my niche and that I’ll look so good in!

For me it was also the reverse for a long time –– I didn’t like making them because I was scared of learning to sew but I liked to wear them. Now that I’m learning to sew I’m a lot more excited because I feel that much more connected to it.

- Emmy

If you enjoy making costumes but just don’t want to wear them, you can take a break. Make costumes for other people for a while, or work on real clothes or something different from what you’re burned out on. That’s what I did when I felt it; I said whatever, I’ll just sew other stuff. The best thing you can do is try something else for a while until you find a project that motivates you again.

- Christine

The ladies have pretty much said everything that could be said perfectly, but here are some of my experiences. I’ve had a very brief stint with cosplay compared to others, but the ups and downs have not eluded me. While I had always wanted to cosplay, I guess I never wanted to do it alone. I was always timid to go to cons by myself and never felt strong enough to venture into making costumes on my own. Meeting my friend Erin changed that completely because I met somebody who wanted to be a part of it with me. Suddenly it was this wave of going hard on making things I never thought I would make even though I can look back on it now and see how terribly I made things hahaha. I started with my Cass Cain Batgirl and Chell from Portal. Two crazy starts for me personally as I had never sewed, worked with acrylic, vinyl, fibreglass and bondo. Making them felt invigorating! However, over time, my living and financial situations didn’t really allow for me to have creative space (4-6 adults in an apartment, yikes!). I also went hard into my work so my passions kind of fell to the wayside. Erin moved away to a different continent for a couple of years, but she’s back now woo! I didn’t have many other friends I felt close enough to and as Jenn previously said, Fan Expo and Anime North don’t inspire much creativity or a fresh, exciting environment so even if I went with other friends, it was just going through the motions. I wasn’t inspired to attempt to learn more. I didn’t feel like any characters really connected with me and the ones that did, like Shepard from Mass Effect, I was too scared to attempt alone. Little by little, I fell out of it. I didn’t want solo projects, I wanted to be a part of something.

Joining the Dangerous Ladies has completely rejuvinated my love for it. The first group project I joined was for Sailor Moon, how could I not be excited to do one of my first loves? Lucina has given me life, I could do version after version of her and wear her for years, I absolutely adore her. The thought of being Ana from Overwatch and doing an Inuyasha cosplay (Sango) excites me to no end. I’m more brave and have more opportunities and motivation to learn more. I’ve already learned so much in the few years being with them and WANT to learn more! The passion is back. My love for gaming and anime feels alive again in a way I can visually express it. The new cons we’ve ventured to have been phenomenal and the people we have met have been such an inspiration and so much damn fun to be around. Finding the right people to be around, work, and travel with has been so important for me to find my love for cosplay again and I am so happy that I found it.

All this rambling comes to this: Find out what the source of your distaste for it is. What drove you to love cosplaying in the first place? Find that drive and source of inspiration and love. Search for new ventures that will motivate you to try out new things! All the best!

- Shazz

anonymous asked:

awwww Rachel now I need a pining FIC taking place in 3b/s4 in Derek's POV about the mess that was St**ia and then reasoning why Stiles actually stayed in that relationship,a nd then more people focussing on Stiles little jab "I give people the benefit of the doubt, I've given a lot of benefit to a lot of people" then Scott saying "Like Derek," and then Stiles just gave him a look and continued on in the start of S5...Like I want that explored SO SO much more because that screams a lover scorned!

There is honestly so much material for a classic pining and misunderstandings fic stretched across season four. The two just slightly missing each other over and over, grabbing hold of other people because they think they can’t have the ones they really want, because they’re not even completely sure what they do want, and they can’t let themselves think about what they’re feeling, what they’re sure they’ll never really have.

Stiles falls into a relationship while he’s still piecing himself back together, broken up by guilt and grief about the Nogitsune, and here’s this person who needs him, who he feels like he can legitimately help because the things she needs help on are pretty straightforward (like how to eat with a fork and remembering to put on clothes in public, simple things). It’s a task he can focus on, and he feels good about seeing her improve, every small victory hitting him deep.

And, yeah, hearing that he’s important and she likes him is an ego boost, when his ego, confidence, self-worth, is close to completely shattered.

…And maybe also the person he tried to reach out to, the person he thought might be able to help him with this whole guilt and grief thing, never returned his calls or texts, didn’t even bother to check in on Stiles after everything went down and… Stiles is not going to let that bother him, not going to let that break him apart because he has this new girl –– a girlfriend –– who actually wants to be around him so much she sneaks into his bedroom in the middle of the night… while he’s sleeping… and crawls into bed with him. (But that’s good, right? They’re both lonely, both need comfort and it’s not like he should object to some hot girl crawling into bed with him, right? What normal guy would object to that?)

And then of course Stiles realizes why Derek hadn’t been answering his texts, after Scott tries to text him and actually follows through by checking his loft, unlike Stiles who had just taken it as a rejection… and after that it becomes an obsession for him. Find out where Derek went. Bring Derek back. Bring Derek back alive and safe and––

And that’s just because that’s what they do, alright? They save each other’s asses, that’s their thing. And because maybe he feels guilty about not having gone to check on Derek, himself (and he has enough guilt already for a lifetime). That’s the only reason. That’s why he can’t relax or sleep or focus on his awesome new (strange, sometimes disturbing) girlfriend. But that’s fine. Once he gets Derek home, everything will be fine.

…Except then they get Derek home and it’s not fine, because Derek’s not Derek. He’s younger and more open and his jokes don’t have the same harsh edge to them and Stiles has to keep doubletaking for reasons he can’t quite make sense of, wanting to spend time with him and get to know him and… it’s just because it’s so weird, that’s why. Like, not one bit of the insane supernatural shit they’ve been through for the past year had even begun to prepare him for living out some kind of crazy kid!fic in real life with his surly sort-of-ally. And this kid’s Derek and it’s also not Derek, and it’s like seeing all these fresh new angles of him that Stiles has only gotten glimpses of before, or never expected (like holy shit, Derek’s fluent in Spanish?) and that’s why he still can’t focus on his amazing, out of his league hot (awkward and honestly sort of uncomfortable) girlfriend.

But she needs him, and he’s the only one she trusts, and she is his girlfriend, and that’s awesome, right? And once Derek’s back to being Derek again, Stiles has no real reason to keep focusing on him. It’s not like they’re close. Not like they’re friends. And if Stiles’ thoughts go back to Derek from time to time, if he ends up pinning Derek’s picture to a board in a fit of frustration with a red string on it, unsolved, it’s just because of all the weirdness about his capture and Kate’s plans for him.

Derek, meanwhile, had barely held himself together after his capture by Kate, clinging to vague and hazy (and sometimes shockingly tangible) images of Stiles all the way to Mexico. And he’d known that he cared about Stiles before that, known it since South America, honestly. It’s the reason he came back to Beacon Hills despite Cora, his last real family, having to stay away. After all the pain, the betrayals and the losses… there should have been nothing for him back in Beacon Hills.

Except there was.

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such great heights — part two

“C’mon, live a little. Do something different and let your hair down, H.” Kimber sighed, but then realised what she said and let out a chuckle. “Or not. Since, y’know, you’ve got none left.”

Harry frowned, holding his arms over his head in a poor attempt to hide his short hair. “Hey, be nice,” he grumbled. “It’s still new and…weird.”

read on 1dff when it returns // read on tumblr below // story page

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traice-and-point  asked:

Sort of a psychological question: I'm noticing most of the BatIM fandom is portraying Henry as the guy that loves and cares for the cartoons (even to the point of him acting as a father for Bendy), but the question I've been asking is... why? In the game, he NEVER gives any point, motive, etc. to showing love and care for the characters. I've come up with theories as to why people have Henry like that, but I wanted to ask why YOU have Henry be the good guy.

Well, hmm.  Think about it this way.

Henry, character with his own personality though he may be, is really a stand-in for the player.  Just as they act through him by controlling his movements, the player is meant to project their own thoughts through him, hence why his voiced lines are so few and understated, and why they tend towards hints rather than personal thoughts.  He’s the one who tells you that you need to find the three switches, and that you’ve forgotten something if you head towards the instruments before switching on the projector.

Now, look at how the fandom views the cartoon characters.

We all seem to be very attached to them, and we find them endearing and cute, regardless of the fact that they’re set in a horror game as antagonists (potentially, in the case of the ‘toons that aren’t Bendy).  We see them as they’re meant to be in-universe: beloved cartoon characters, similar to the real-world Mickey Mouse and Felix the Cat.  We also know that the creators of these real-world cartoon stars were often very attached to their creations.

So right now, what we’ve got here is a nice recipe for not only envisioning a similarity between Henry and Walt Disney, but also for projecting our own sentiments onto Henry.  We, the players, extend our feelings and emotions through Henry during our playthrough of the game, so it only makes sense for us to see Henry’s feelings towards the characters as similar to our own… even if Henry’s actual canon feelings towards the characters are nothing like that.

There’s one other thing, too.  Henry’s response to the letter he received from Joey in-game is to actually show up at the old studio.  The letter is vague and suspicious, but it’s signed with “your best pal, Joey Drew,” and given Henry’s response (unless it’s purely suspicion), we can assume that Henry and Joey were, at least at some point, on very good terms with one another.  By extension, it would make sense that Henry enjoyed his job at Joey Drew Studios, and likely developed an attachment to the characters he drew day in and day out there.  (I know I’m getting attached to the characters of the show I’m working on.)

This is a pretty nonspecific answer, I know, but it also serves as my personal answer to your question.  I hope it’s at least a little helpful!

alienslovetea  asked:

Klance 14? :)

14.  “just sit down and let me take care of you.”

Okay uhhhh… there were a few different ways this fic could have gone, but how could I resist some classic hurt/comfort? (I legit teared up this got so heckin fluffy I love it.)

Yeah this really got away from me.

Learn to Love You

Pairing: Keith/Lance
Rating: Teen
Word Count: 1459
Content Warning: injury

Find it on AO3! Or keep reading =)

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anonymous asked:

For the character meme/ask thing: how about the head of the murder nerds - Kaz Brekker?

Listen dude, ‘head of the murder nerds’ is literally my favourite way of referring to Kaz in the history of ever god bless you for bringing this to me. Also yes, yes let’s talk Kaz…

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life (i tried not to let this happen but it did anyway and now I have just accepted my fate) 

hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang

hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff

best quality: he’s a crafty bastard and this comes in handy at times, you know… 

worst quality: *represses feelings to the point that they all basically vanish and he forgets that other people have them too and that they can be hurt* (okay, like, I know I listed this as ‘worst quality’ and theoretically it is if you’re talking about like…from a person POV from a character POV though…I kinda love it? And I love it so much I’m going to bore you with a long waffle about the head murder nerd you never asked for but are getting anyway: 

I enjoy the commitment to Kaz’s character/personality, frankly. I think it’s easy for characters (especially male characters) to be written in this sort of style, to the point that it’s probably a trope, bad boy on the outside with a heart of gold. Kaz doesn’t have a heart of gold, I might give him one of like…super rusty iron…with holes in it…but it’s definitely not made of gold.  

Kaz is a ruthless prick at the start and he’s a ruthless prick at the end and I for one appreciate that. I think….For the most part…what you see with Kaz, is what you get. (Obviously not on the Plots and Schemes part because there needs to be some air of mystery about him. He’s dramatic that way. It’s required for his aesthetic) But in the sense of ‘this is who and what I am; you don’t like it? I don’t care. Deal with it.’ Which is…Refreshing. There’s no hidden reason behind the ruthlessness, he’s not trying to cover anything up (not in the typical sense of ‘my cold, sarcastic exterior masks a tender bleeding heart I’m too afraid to admit to sense anyway) He just is

Which isn’t to say that he’s shallow or simple or boringly written in fact it’s the opposite. There’s an interesting relation between how starkly and simply Kaz is presented. In a lot of ways he’s one of the most simply black and white characters around. He’s deepened, he’s explained, he’s explored, he matures, he grows, he learns, he suffers, he triumphs, he experiences, but the core of who and what he is never really changes. Kaz Brekker is introduced to us as Dirtyhands, the Bastard of the Barrel, the monster wearing a boy’s skin and Kaz Brekker leaves us as Dirtyhands, the Bastard of the Barrel, the monster wearing a man’s skin. He’s never undermined, he’s never softened, his edges are never dulled for the sake of watering him down to make him more palatable. Kaz isn’t palatable, Kaz isn’t, arguably, all that likeable either and yet, and yet… 

I think it’s fascinating because, idk about anyone else I can only speak for me and the way I read these books, but I kept waiting for the transformation. I kept waiting for the moment of realisation. I kept waiting for him to shed his armour and prove to us all that he was really just a squishy, sappy sod deep down with issues he was masking with cold sarcasm. I kept waiting for the switch, the sleight of hand, the trick with him - and the trick was that there wasn’t one. He does care, he does feel, he is human (probably) but he’s still him.

 He’s still ruthless, still cold, still removed, still withdrawn and distant because that’s who he is. It’s who he’s always been, it’s a fundamental part of who he’s always going to be and that makes him interesting. Because I think one of the things authors enjoy doing is character building with a focus of starting with something old and creating something new. Something shinier. Something better. Something that fixes all the flaws it once had and ta-da! Perfect!!   

And dude I was waiting for this to come allll the way through CK. Because she’d set it up! We had everything we expect!! We had the broody, withdrawn, grumpy, traumatised, aloof sarcastic bastard male character; and we had the softer, warmer, female character and they were very obviously Love Interests, and they had Moments and Lines that were so obviously going to be paralleled later, we had, “I will have you without armour, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all.”  

I was ready. I was waiting. It was all there!! So obvious!! The armour was going to come off, torn off, shredded off, in a dramatic moment of Character Growth and Transformation and he was going to kiss her and it was going to be like: I am changed. I am a Good Man now, I am Better, you have made me better, you have made me realise what I want to be and I’m going to declare these feelings by kissing you in a dramatic fashion with a romantic sunset and some fancy explosions in the background. 

AND WE GOT APPROXIMATELY NONE OF THAT. ZERO. NIL. NOT A SINGLE SOLITARY SAUSAGE OF IT AND I LOVE IT. (we got some, fine, don’t get pedantic on me but it was nothing like what it was built up to be and that’s GENIUS. how does one sell a literal anti-climax and not only get away with it but making it literally perfect for both the characters and the ship. inspirational tbh) 

The thing is that way of working was too easy, would have been too rushed and far too…easy. This story is not easy. This story is hard. This story is having pretty much nothing to begin with then having even that taken from you and clawing your way back to something because dammit I have worked for this and sweated for this and bled for this and you will give it to me or so help me you will suffer me for denying me. Point is nothing is given; nothing is easy, and happy endings are…not always what we think they are. 

The Dramatic Romantic Sunset Kiss ending, while very fluffy and probably crowd-pleasing doesn’t entirely suit…either of these characters at this moment tbh. Because they’ve been through a lot and they have grown and they have changed and they are closer but…They’re not ready. And I think it…takes something to admit that. It takes something to let characters be who and what they are and not force them to be what you’d like them to be for the sake of a ship or a nice neat ending tied up with a bow that will make everyone happy. 

And I think that’s the thing I enjoy most about Kaz: that he refuses to be anything other than what he is. Kaz is cold and cruel and ruthless and flawed because these are flaws, flaws that stem from…a fairly rough childhood tbh. They aren’t little mars to be gently wiped away with the handkerchief held by the doting female love interest (which Inej…also conveniently refuses to be, bless her existence) and I like that they remain relatively intact by the end of it. 

His flaws aren’t argued away by the narrative, they’re not easily cured by the loving touch of a female love interest. They’re raw and they’re ugly and they’re present and they’re constant and they force you to accept him this way or not at all. They don’t get excused. They don’t get diminished. They don’t get gently brushed to one side because oh that was just a moment that made him a bit not nice and we don’t want to linger there. They are him, an aspect that has to be considered and counted and weighed when judging his character; it’s a package deal people, the novels just don’t let you cherry pick bits and pieces here and there, this is it, this is everything, all cards on the table, take it or leave it. 

Kaz Brekker is a monster. Kaz Brekker is cold and distant and withdrawn and cloaked in armour he’s not ready to remove yet that isn’t prised from him to try and discover some hidden golden heart beneath. There is none. There’s just cold, hard iron and bitter venom. What’s on the surface is what’s underneath too. And I love it. 

ship them with: Ineeeejjjj obviously. 

brotp them with: Alllll of the Dregs, actually, it’s all kind of fascinating?? The way he interacts with each of them. 
  
needs to stay away from:….erm…himself?? About the only truly dangerous thing to him tbh. 

misc. thoughts: I, ahem, I think I’ve had…more than enough thoughts on Kaz for one day. Yes. Anyway. *gently sets the mic down and scuttles off* 

Bellamy in Jasper’s Empire (4x08)

We all know the scene. Bellamy and Jasper return to Arkadia, there’s a party going on up the ramp, and at the other side are some people still mourning the people lost in the black rain. Jasper goes up the ramp, leaving Bellamy at the crossroads, and then a lone blonde Clarke look-a-like emerges to convince Bellamy to dance. 

Bellamy and Bree are the two we’re supposed to be focused on in this scene, right? That’s what most would have you believe. I mean the Clarkeness of how they’ve done Bree up can’t be denied, but I think people have focused too much on this because of Bellarke when the scene itself is more about the Bellamy/Jasper relationship continued over from their scene earlier in the episode…and also a bit about the two on their own

Why do I think this?

Well, for me it has to do with the music playing in the background. It’s titled Empire and is by an artist WVM. It’s mainly the music to the song that we hear during the scene, but there are four moments in the scene where this isn’t so. Four lines of the song that are completely distinguishable, almost as if they wanted us to actually hear them compared to the other parts.

The first of these lines are actually the first lines of the song.

I tore down the walls that showed me heaven

We hear these as we see Jasper and Bellamy walk into Arkadia and Jasper sees that the party has already gotten started. Now, even though he is coming in as it’s already gotten underway Jasper is 100% the person who masterminded this party. He’s all smiles as they enter where as Bellamy has no idea what is going on. So, how does this tie into the lyrics? Well, let’s look at the contrast in the two sides of the room. First we have the party. In a way I feel like the party is supposed to be the heaven mentioned in the song. People are smiling, having fun….you might even say there is rejoicing. Heaven is supposed to be a place where there is no more sorrow, and while it might only last for this night, this party is providing just that for the people at it. Compare this to the other side of the room where people are mourning and in pain, which I suppose in a way would make that side of the room hell. 

There’s also the first part of the song ‘I tore down the walls’ Because of being privy to certain information before the others, Jasper is the first to adopt the ‘live for the day’ type of mentality. Whether or not you want to see it as a good thing, for the most part this season Jasper has been all about living out the remainder of the days doing things that you love and will make you happy. Some see this as destructive, but honestly I’ve always had a different take on it, and the previous scene in the forest solidified this for me. Jasper hasn’t given up on surviving because he wants to die. He’s living life with everything he has, and he wants others to do the same. He’s the first to really accept that maybe they won’t survive, and there is nothing wrong with that. He’s torn down the walls of fear of what’s to come to be able to see and live in the heaven that is around him. I also think you can consider Jasper being able to sort of get through to Bellamy out in the forest as him tearing down those walls Bellamy had built up, slowly allowing him to see the ‘heaven’ around him as well.

my love for you will always stay

This is the next distinguishable line from the song. It comes after Bellamy expresses not being sure if he wants to/should go to the party, and Jasper tells him that everyone is going to die and he has a choice in how he goes out. “The ending’s the same, but who says the journey has to suck?” Jasper doesn’t force Bellamy up the ramp to the party, in fact he doesn’t even hardcore try to pressure him into joining. He leaves Bellamy to make this decision all on his own. I think the important thing about this in regards to the lyrics is that no matter what Bellamy chooses to do he is always going to be someone that is important to Jasper. The things he does is not going to change this. Even Mt. Weather didn’t change this. I know some people could argue this, but as much as Jasper lashed out at Bellamy in season 3 because of it, I never thought that Jasper hated Bellamy (or even Monty and Clarke) in a way that meant he no longer loved/cared about him. I think so many people don’t recognize that you can hate someone (or something they did) while still ultimately loving them.

welcome to my empire

We have the whole ‘dance with me’ ‘I don’t dance’ scene. Now, before I get to this moment with the above lyrics, I do want to point out that Bellamy looks up to the party and Jasper before allowing Bree to guide him up the ramp. The fact that it’s after this moment just goes to show how Jasper has gotten through to him in a way that no one else has been able to so far.  

Now as Bellamy (and Bree) walk up the ramp we hear ‘welcome to’ and as the camera moves to show Jasper turning to greet them it goes to ‘my empire.’ This party, this whole way of thinking of the apocalypse is, in fact, Jasper’s empire. In Jasper’s empire you don’t survive, you live, and you live with every ounce of your being. Bellamy makes the decision here to join Jasper in living. He’s allowing himself to take the burden of saving the world off his shoulders, even if it’s only for a little while…now if only Bellamy would take the backpack off his shoulders…YOU’RE AT A PARTY, BELLAMY!!!!

the seeds of your destruction

This is the continuation of the previous line from the song. It’s heard after Jasper hands Bellamy a drink, and as they cheers and drink it down. Now, I know there are plenty of people out there who would take this as a negative thing…mainly people who hate Jasper and will try to twist everything he does into a negative thing, but y’know what? Fuck those people. This moment isn’t about the destruction of Bellamy in a negative way, no it’s the destruction of Bellamy’s way of thinking that he has to keep punishing himself for the things that he did and the people he couldn’t save. It isn’t something that is going to be an automatic 180 change, but Jasper has provided him the seeds of change.

@junebugninja @the-ships-to-rule-them-all @ginalou16 @abazethe100 @ravensluna @bellamypotter @raincityruckus @sherlockvowsontheriverstyx @thelovelylights @murphystartedthefire @insufficient-earth-skills @forgivenessishardforus @falafel14 @head-and-heart 

jacktrippers  asked:

prompt: Pilot episode. A rookie Agent Scully's just found bumps similar to what was found on Billy Miles & Theresa "nosebleed" Nemman. She's worried and she's realizing that her partner is the only one who can shed any light on the bumps. What's the scene/thoughts during the moment between when she finds the bumps and when she disrobes in front of her /new/ partner? (i've always loved that small second of hesitation she has before dropping the robe in the show lmfao so yeah)

When she finds the bumps, she isn’t thinking about the case.

She was thinking about the case, right up until the power went out - she’s a professional, after all - but it’d seemed a little futile to be thinking about it in the dark. She’d figured now was a good a time as any to take a shower. By the time she entered the bathroom with her flickery candle, her mind had turned to a hundred other things - the girls weekend she and Ellen and Kathy have planned a month from now, her brother flying in for Easter, whether or not she can convince Mulder to partake of that salmon he went on and on about tomorrow. And then her fingers brush over the small of her back and find the bumps.

She dismisses it for a split second before she remembers the slide show Mulder presented days ago. The flashing pictures of raised bumps on the backs of corpses. On Karen Swenson and Peggy O’Dell. She begins twisting to try and face the mirror to compare the marks, but the bad lighting and inability to bend that way only increase her panic. She collapses on the closed toilet seat, head spinning, mind racing.

It could be an animal bite, she starts to rationalize, as is her habit. Or some kind of rash, you were in the woods all night… But the small of her back was unlikely to be exposed to anything that would cause this. Her next thought is that the marks are the result of a virus, something that would explain the death of Karen Swenson and those other kids. But the autopsy showed no explainable cause of death. No plausible explanation for these marks…

She doesn’t believe in aliens and she doesn’t believe these kids were abducted by them. There has to be some kind of plausible explanation for it all. Scully thinks back on the case, finally landing on the protein-like thing Mulder had asked her to identify. Maybe the bumps are a reaction to exposure to that chemical, maybe she was exposed at some point. But she’s worn gloves, been careful, can’t think of a time when such exposure would be possible… unless it happened during her chunk of missing time.

Scully shivers, scooping her robe up off of the floor and wrapping it around her. “Time can’t just disappear,” she firmly reminds herself in the empty room, echoing her words from earlier. It’s a universal invariant. But something did happen in that car, some kind of… blackout or something. But still, there was no way they were abducted during that time… isn’t there? And the only person who had access to her during this time was Mulder.

It’s a possibility, she supposes, that Mulder could be setting her up, trying to convince her of his insane claims by manipulating her somehow, that he could’ve caused these bumps, but she highly doubts that this is the case. She is here to debunk him, but his behavior towards her these past few days is not suggestive of him doing anything like that to solidify his ideas, to give him credit. He’s passionate, sure, frustrating, sure, but not malicious, she doesn’t think. Besides, he clearly doesn’t care about his reputation (if he’s going to call himself the FBI’s most unwanted, he must be), so the only person he’d be trying to convince by causing these marks is her. She’s not sure why she feels this way, but some small part of her unconsciously trusts him. He’s given her little reason not to - and they are, after all, partners. 

So what does that leave?

She doesn’t believe in aliens. But something is killing these kids, leaving a mammalian creature with an implant up its nose in Ray Soames’ grave. Something is causing these marks. 

I think those kids have been abducted, Mulder had said. Abductees… people who have made UFO sightings, they’ve reported unexplained time loss, Mulder had said. It’s absolutely ridiculous, there is no way they’ve been abducted by aliens, Scully thinks. But the signs are all there. Some iota of evidence, insane or no.

She’s thinking crazy, she tries to move her mind away from that, dismiss the marks, but she finds she can’t. Her legs won’t stop trembling when she gets up to turn off the shower. She’s shaken, that’s for sure, and she doesn’t see herself calming down at any point in the foreseeable future. There seems to be only one solution to put her mind at rest. She’s at Mulder’s door within five minutes.

He opens the door, candle in hand, and says, “Hi,” with some kind of gentle surprise. She trusts him, she does, and she kind of hates him and herself for it. If he were some suspicious, awful person, she could dismiss the marks as a result of his manipulation. Safe, scientific explanation. Staying with her priorities. Nope, no problem here.

“I want you to look at something,” she says, hating the way her voice trembles like a reed in the wind. 

“Come on in,” Mulder says immediately. 

He steps aside and she enters. She realizes in the moment that she didn’t consider changing into actual clothes, a shirt that she could easily lift up and show him. Mentally berating herself, she doesn’t bother to turn around or explain, just slips the robe from her arms down past her waist so that the marks are visible in the candlelight. Better to get this done so she can sneak back to her room and drown herself in her embarrassment and/or panic. She looks back at him, where he’s looking at her questioningly. This isn’t a come-on, she thinks with frustration, motioning towards her back with her chin. He kneels obediently to take a look. “What are they?” she asks, trying to make her voice stop shaking.

His fingers find her spine, gently, and she shivers from the contact. They are warm, imprinting themselves on her skin. The flame flickers. “Mulder, what are they?” she demands, panic rising.

Mulder grins with ease - not a cruel grin, a genuine smile. “Mosquito bites.”

“Are you sure?” she practically stammers, somewhere between relieved and furious at him for making her panic. Her pulse is racing. 

“Yeah. I got eaten up a lot myself out there,” he says, some attempt at comfort.

Scully breathes out in relief, pulling her robe back up. She turns towards Mulder and into his arms, leaning hard against him.

His arms come up around her gingerly, clearly surprised. This is way past Bureau protocol and they’ve known each other for approximately three days. She’s somewhere between furious and ashamed of herself for behaving this way. “You okay?” Mulder asks softly, nose turning slightly into her hair.

The candle light flickers outside her vision. She wasn’t abducted because aliens don’t exist. Whatever happened to those kids didn’t happen to her. Mosquito bites. “Yes,” she says softly. I’m just fine.

megades-sweet-darkness-delight  asked:

I know my post is kinda long but you can edit in a readmore for me if you want. ^ ^; ♥ It's just that it's only gained three reblogs so far and I think it'll gain more of a following if someone with some influence reblogged it. ^ ^; ♥ Plus I've never done this before and I haven't really gotten any feedback so like I'm kinda scared? ^ ^; ♥ That I'm being ableist to myself? ^ ^; ♥ For trying to think of a clever way of coding a character with my own disability "mewman style" and (2)

I don’t know if it works or if my writing is just bad or what anyone is thinking when they see it, especially other people with disabilities and it’s making me worried and all I can really do is throw headcanons out there because I don’t have any “evidence”, only Eclipsa sitting and I feel really silly because all I can do is make up a story so that people will constantly want to draw her that way and I don’t know if I’m offending anyone in trying to make a metaphor for my own disability(3)

and I know we’ve never talked, but I feel like I’ve been acting like this, jealous brat towards you the entire time and maybe that’s why ppl didn’t reblog the ask I sent you when I asked? Because they didn’t like my tone and now making the actual post about it and sending these asks is only gonna make things worse? ^ ^; ♥ I dunno, maybe I’m being paranoid. ^ ^; ♥ But I’d just really feel more comfortable if I had some more feedback an’ reblogs. ^ ^; ♥ I mentioned starbutterflyisautistic and (4)

marcodiazisatransgirl and they haven’t responded and I’m too afraid to put the Disabled Queen of Darkness post in the main show tag, because it’s gross. ^ ^; ♥ And now I’m feeling discouraged because Eclipsa’s tags are being bombard with (still) abled bodied (skinny) fanart of her and of course the “TOFFEE IS ECLIPSA’S SON AND ALSO THE MONSTER!!” bull gonk and I’m just like “/This/ is what I stayed up for? For you to ignore me?” And I even got an ask basically complaining it was harder for(5) 

(7)like, HE was was the first thing that officially put this show OVER Steven Universe for me, when I thought it already WAS bc Star her was already so relatable to me as a disabled person, which is why I love the autism headcanon.♥ But Toby himself didn’t get any cute side character appreciation posts, no fanart as far as I know, nothin’. And what’s more? I THOUGHT I’D NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN. But who do I get to see in the final? Not only Toby, having a good time, BUT ANOTHER KID IN A WHEELCHAIR?

AS IF I HAVEN’T CRIED ENOUGH ALREADY?! AND THEY GET TO BE THE “BAD KIDS”?! THE “IMPERFECT KIDS”???? Just having a fucking party on THE ROOF???? LIKE IT’S NOTHING???!!!! LIKE I WANT TO ASK DARON HOW DID THESE FUCKING KIDS GET THESE TWO OTHER KIDS IN WHEELCHAIRS ON THE ROOF?! Because the abled bodied bad kids care about accessibility for their Cpunks, that’s why. I just … it was a magical moment for me, okay? I’m dying my hair back 2 blonde so I can be an actual Star on Wheels ♥ (Continued ♥) 

Daron Nefcy treats me like a person. ♥ She not only got my tastes both mentally and atheistically, but then a kid in a wheelchair happened, and he’s black. ♥ And all he wanted was a remote to his wrestling, and he played that girl in order to get it. Did you see how fast he came out of those waterworks? That was a set up, Janna was in on it. He was was one of the gang and I couldn’t believe this was actually happening. ♥ Then, in the final, I get to see him AGAIN, along with another cpunk(con)

that include wands used as joysticks and Eclipsa’s chapter symbol on HER wheels as well. ♥ People know they should do it and this is the first time in a fandom I feel comfortable asking for it and theirs canonical characters on the show so there’s no reason not to give me art and fic for it. Especially Eclipsa, whom we have no way of knowing she’s abled bodied. LET ME HAVE MY DISABLED QUEEN OF DARKNESS,FANDOM. STOP DRAWING HER SKINNY AND ABLED BODIED!!!! LET HER BE LIKE CHERRY IN A CHAIRY!!!!

Honestly I really really hope they do go this route, especially with the possibility of Eclipsa turning out to be a positive role model for Star and many, many hints that the ‘Queen of Darkness’ may not be as bad as the reputation Mewni has given her.

Cancer / Thelma & Louise update:

(Everyone’s calling it cancer now - i.e. the endocrinologists and neurosurgeons and stuff, so I am too). (Also I’m cutting and pasting from my Facebook update because I’m  too tired to rewrite for Tumblr, apologies!) .

Yesterday I saw the neurosurgeon, and things went about as well as I expected them to go. It wasn’t a total worst case scenario, which is if they couldn’t do surgery at all, so that’s something.

But everything else is kind of shitty, so let’s talk about that.

Keep reading

                                       HOLY SHIT THERE ARE A LOT OF YOU !!!

so, this is my 1,000th post, and i’m currently sitting at 337 followers, which i’m sure doesn’t sound like a lot when you compare the amount that a lot of people have, but i’ve only had padmé since january second of this year. that’s not even two full months, and somehow, still, over three hundred people have decided that my padmé is the kind of content they want to see. i’m still not sure why, but since i’ve hit such an amazing number and this is my 1,000th post, i wanted to do something nice for everyone and gush about how much i love you all. so without further ado, here’s my follow forever !!!

                                              THE DELEGATION OF THE 2,000

@aftcrshocks​ / @icaryian​ / @imhiscarer​ : to the shock of absolutely no one, i’m gonna take this moment to yell about my favorite person on this earth, kells. kells is probably my most staunch supporter on this website and in life, and it’s really……awe-inspiring ?? it’s amazing to me, the kind of love that kells has to give to her friends, and the unbelievably selfless ways she continues to show it day in and day out. my entire aesthetic on this blog was crafted by her, and she’s always willing to do anything at the drop of a hat, which is just !!! so much !!! we don’t deserve kells. i don’t deserve kells. she’s so talented and she’s so supportive and kind and i’d take a bullet for that woman. 

@jedibetrayer / @warcompass : in addition to being the best smad egg husband a senator could ask for, chloe is about 85% of the reason that this blog even exists, and i’ll always be forever grateful to her for that. her enthusiasm for star wars and for her muse is off the charts 100% of the time which is just A+ in my eyes. her writing is beautiful, her talent is off the fucking charts, and i just. straight up. adore that girl. 

@kybercore : sen is one of my newer friends and i’m so grateful that padmé brought me this lady because honestly ??? idk how i lived without sen in my life before now ??? sen’s writing is so amazing and her characterization is so on point and she’s always making me question my life choices every time she brings up a plot idea, but in the best way possible. i love her a lot ok.

@demandpeace : haley is just….my salt sister. like a soul sister, only closer, because we get salty about the treatment of our fave ladies and it’s EXCELLENT. i love haley even when she’s using her perfect writing to stab me in the back with padtine feels and i love her for giving me the powerful sassy space nobility girlfriends that i deserve. 

@masterofcraft / @triggrhappy : lillie was one of my first new friends on padmé and i’ll always be so glad and grateful for that. she’s been such a happy influence on my life since entering it, and has given me so many obidala feels it’s unreal. idk how i got to be so blessed but i’m so moved and grateful and never gonna stop being emo about it.

@coughbot​ / @crdered​ : MY SON. zach is my son whom i birthed and raised from infancy and is genuinely one of the sweetest and most talented souls i have ever ??? in my life ??? met ??? they write with the kind of elegance and cohesiveness that writers twice their age struggle with and i’m like. constantly amazed. also so fucking kind like call out post for zach for being TOO PURE.

@sempermemoriia​ / @penitenciia​ / @harlemforged​ : tj is pretty much my favorite of all time ??? tj is, first of all, unfairly fucking talented, and second of all, so thoughtful and observant and it’s kind of the best thing ever ??? i never have to worry that tj hasn’t read my rules or my headcanons because not only does he read all of them but also he incorporates them in everything he writes with me and honestly i love that man more than sharks love blood.

@rosecrime​ / @trustfunded​ / @redeemself​ : maddie aka my other best friend i’m so !!!! i love that girl !! i would die for her !! i’m so blessed to have so many talented friends in my life and i’m sure y’all are tired of hearing that word but EVERYONE !! IS SO TALENTED !! I’M SHOOK !! maddie is such a fucking powerhouse with her replies it leaves me shook all the time, and her characters are always so multi faceted and amazing. no one makes an oc like maddie, like you could throw an fc at her and she’d come up with a well rounded character in under an hour, i’m sure of it.

                                                THE LOYALIST COMMITTEE 

@tachiisms​ / @ofalderaan​ : liesl is hands down one of the kindest, if not The Kindest, person i have ever met on this godforsaken hellsite. i am like 100% sure she has done nothing wrong in her life, ever, and i am, frankly, in awe of her skill at writing and of the amount of positivity and love she graces my dash with on a daily basis. also her siri is so good i’m fucking Shook at all times.

@rebelsacrifice​ / @ofeffulgence​ : lyssa is so incredibly lovely it deadass amazes me all the time like what a machine with her replies ?? how do you do so many replies so fast ?? how are they all phenomenal ?? teach me ?? her characterization is always spot on and her replies are always so good and honestly I Die.

@rcbelborn​ / @eireniic​ : val pretty much constantly has me screaming, if i’m being entirely honest. i have never, in my entire life, looked at another writer on tumblr as ‘goals’ as much as i look at val as my life goal. her writing is so phenomenal and poetic and beautiful while still being coherent and concise and i stalk….everything….and it’s all amazing……i can’t believe this….

@scarificed​ / @warbones​ : i’m pretty convinced miriam is actually satan at this point and i’ve sold my soul to the devil or something but honestly if that means i get to read all of her stuff about oak and also padmé gets to kiss his face i’ll take it ?? i care so much about miriam’s oc’s and i can’t wait to read more of them tbh.

                                                   THE GALACTIC SENATE 

@17000 - @afewmistakes - @aldcraanian - @allianceintel - @arebelnow - @arepure - @artcfwar - @bellassan - @betrayedjedi - @bloodthirstygod - @bluethreepilot - @boogcyman - @bredhope - @brehaa - @bridgrs - @brookesmxrt - @captaxn - @captcassiansandors - @catholiccrowned - @coldbattle - @cosmichymns - @cosmosbeing - @cuyanir - @dathomirborn - @diretales - @disguis - @dualknown - @efridcct - @empireworthy - @ersoteric - @fauxquccn - @fcrcepilot - @forcerebel - @fulcrumm - @galaxyslasthope - @godcoded - @halfworldborn - @heavcnsgrief - @helluvapilot - @hiddensteel - @hopeandrhetoric - @hotshotflyboy - @iinquiisitor - @illecebras - @ingenuitys - @inkwrittcn - @inusitus - @ironfistedwill - @itspersonalforus - @iviaw - @jaigsight - @jaigvision - @jcrso - @jedhaguardian - @jedimessianic - @jediheart - @jediswcrd - @kalofhouseel - @kaminosfinest - @khagaan - @khuravhi - @killedstars - @knightcrusader - @kybersung - @lasanguarded - @lastorgana - @legacyappetite - @lothrat - @menaceborn - @moonjeweled - @moranument - @mossofash - @ncrfherder - @nctapawn - @neverthedark - @obscvrc - @ofashandruin - @ofcloudcities - @oferiadu - @ofironandbeauty - @ofmillennium - @ofsoprano - @oftogrutas - @oftwileks - @ofvaliancy - @orscn - @ostardust - @paxjinn - @princessofwar - @rcguecne - @rebeliintel - @rebelraiised - @rebelvoiced - @republicdied - @roguecapt - @scruffysmuggler - @secretusreginam - @senthope - @shadcwpreacher - @sergeantstardust - @simplehunt - @sithshadow - @smugglerson - @snipisms - @sonnenkonigin - @soulscatter - @sovietperil - @spunstories - @starchillcd - @starrises - @stillsolo - @txrkin - @tyranusss - @underoosed - @unsith - @weaponexpert - @weiirdwitch - @withoutpeer - @ziinariya ( and my other blogs, @freedomscost , @poisonedtwin , and @wanderiingstars )

Reign - Chapter 7

Summary: Papyrus seizes the crown for himself, and declares Sans his queen. A series of one-shots covering the highs and lows of their reign, and everything in between.

Chapter Summary: The Royal Guard - Part 1: After Sans returns home injured, Papyrus vows to become stronger, to protect his brother. No matter what it takes.

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anonymous asked:

Hey, I've been having trouble finding my type, so I want to ask for your advice. I think I'm an Ni-dom, but I can't tell my middle functions. I was abused, which probably had a negative effect on my functions. I think I might be an INTJ because I'm focused on efficiency and have a need to accomplish things, even at the cost of others' feelings, or else I start feeling empty (Te). I also spend most of my time alone, and don't have an interest in forming relationships, or feel lonely much (1/6).

  • I’m focused on efficiency and have a need to accomplish things, even at the cost of others’ feelings, or else I start feeling empty (Te). [needing to aggressively accomplish things and feeling empty if you don’t can be attributed to Ni-Se imbalance, so not necessarily Te, if it is Te, it’s a negative/compensatory manifestation of it which is not entirely consistent with auxiliary positioning]
  • I also spend most of my time alone, and don’t have an interest in forming relationships, or feel lonely much [have to know the real reason why, whether it is a natural state or an unconsciously self-protective state, i.e., if you are deep in a loop and have convinced yourself that you don’t need people in order to stay in a safe bubble]
  • When I was younger, that was mixed with the belief that other people weren’t worth my time (Ni-Fi). I’ve been trying to build relationships lately, but I’ve been told I act cold and as if I don’t like the other person. [unhealthy Ni colored expectations and inferior Se in terms of not understanding how to actualize your self well in situations]
  • I also base my self-esteem on being competent, and feel useless if I’m not. I often reject the external world or other people’s standards, but at the same time, I want approval and to be seen as intelligent and competent (Te-Fi). [Nobody likes to feel incompetent, so that is not in itself enough to indicate Te. Rejecting “external standards” can be true of both types when they resist Fe or Te development, so it is good evidence of looping but which loop is not clear. WHY do you want approval or to be seen as intelligent? If you can’t explain exactly why, you can’t link it to the right function. “Uselessness” is actually more of a symptom of Ni-Se insecurity whereas “helplessness” would be more linked to Te-Fi insecurity.]
  • I have a hard time understanding social rules and often get told I’m not behaving properly, which might point to a lack of Fe. [Along with other details you’ve given, it could also point to heavily undervaluing or resisting Fe and therefore haven’t picked up that knowledge due to chronic looping. If you are Ti looping, you would unconsciously avoid understanding social rules and connecting with other people because these things would push you to change, they’d push you to leave your comfort zone.]
  • I also dislike conforming to outside standards, because it feels like a betrayal to who I am (Fi). [this can be true of looping introverts in general]
  • I used to have a problem with overgeneralizing principles and not caring about individuality, but I’ve started trying to think more carefully about my beliefs rather than blindly applying my principles (Te-Fi). [Overgeneralizing is common to both TJs and FJs when Te or Fe is applied too “universally” as would be the case when it is unhealthy. When paired with unhealthy dom Ni, both Te or Fe aux can take on a very absolutist tone. Slight contradiction/confusion here where you say you don’t care much about “individuality” yet seem to be very protective of only your own yet later you say you don’t care enough for your own needs -> better evidence of Fe-Ti than Te-Fi]
  • I’ve been told I act more like an unhealthy ESFP at my worst. [need more detail to ensure it is the correct interpretation]
  • I’m very private, and I used to hate feelings before and thought they were stupid, could never understand others’ feelings, and was detached from my own. Even now, I struggle with understanding them, but I’m trying to improve (Te-Fi?). [likely to be a result of abuse and poor emotional development that inhibits empathy and self-empathy, perhaps not really due to personality, abuse usually stunts F function development specifically]
  • As for being an INFJ, I’m sensitive to what other people say and think, and a part of me wishes to change myself to become more “acceptable” to others (Fe). I try to stop that when I notice I’m doing it, though, and think about what they said and decide for myself (Ti?). [evidence of Fe struggle]
  • I also have unrealistic relationship standards, and get annoyed when people fail to live up to them (Ni-Fe). [common to both types, unhealthy Ni but not necessarily Fe]
  • I’m also interested in understanding people and what motivates them (Fe), though more in a detached, impersonal way. [dom Ni, perhaps Ti related analysis]
  • A part of the reason I don’t seek relationships is also because I’m afraid I could be hurt, so I’d rather reject others before they have a chance to reject me (unhealthy Fe-Ti?). [evidence of suppressed Fe and Ti looping]
  • I also focus on others (my family, specifically) more than myself, and I have a hard time caring and valuing my needs because it feels selfish (Fe). [evidence of unhealthy Fe, evidence of a low/underdeveloped introverted judging function]
  • As for Ti, a lot of my detachment and focus on competence could stem from a Ni-Ti loop, rather than Te-Fi. [yes, so you’ll have to be as honest as you can with yourself about that, whether you want competence truly for its own sake or rather to compensate for some other underlying problem/issue]
  • At the same time, though, if I have Ti, I don’t think it’s underdeveloped because I can critically evaluate things easily, [critically evaluating things is a SKILL that can be learned through study or experience, not in itself sufficient evidence for developed Ti, so it is unclear whether you deeply understand/experience Ti or not]
  • and while I do have a desire to conform for approval, it doesn’t affect me much, and I maintain my beliefs regardless of how others feel about them. [common for looping introverts]

These are very useful details but still somewhat inconclusive. You have a decent grasp of function theory which is good (thanks for doing your homework!), however, the area you seem to fall short in is self-knowledge. You seem too cut off from your emotional life, which means that there is a rather large and glaring component of yourself that you don’t fully understand, that you don’t have full conscious access to. It seems like you are too self-protective (probably looping) and cannot fully acknowledge all of your emotional needs and this makes it difficult for you to know for certain what it is you really need/want in life and how best to realize your potential, i.e., would your best self come through better with Fe-Ti or Te-Fi development? You can adequately describe some negative aspects of your personality which is a great start, however, what would you be if you were genuinely fulfilled and being fully your true self (as opposed to only acting for self-protection or to compensate for some vague void/lack within)?

Based on the details you’ve selected, there seems to be more subtle reference to Fe-Ti issues (struggling with low self-worth and trying to compensate) than Te-Fi issues (struggling with feelings of powerlessness or helplessness), so gun to my head, I would lean slightly towards INFJ just based on the evidence you’ve provided. A running theme in your description is wanting to “be yourself” but not because you truly value your own individuality as Fi types do. Instead, you are fixated on resisting the need to “conform” which, counter-intuitively, actually means that you define yourself by external standards and don’t realize it, otherwise you’d know yourself better. You can’t truly know yourself well when your “self” is merely defined by what you are trying “not” to be, by the “negation” of something external, i.e., there is no positive/substantive definition of the self to be found in your description and this issue tends to be more indicative of some Fe related developmental pitfall. You seem to be at a low level of ego development (common in people who’ve suffered abuse), which means that your self-awareness is lower than you realize, making it hard to type yourself. The first step in building better self-awareness would be to open yourself up and see what happens, to allow yourself to feel and experience life more deeply and expansively so that you can learn more about yourself and what would be best for your development.

anonymous asked:

Hello!! Random question. What's your opinion on Guidestuck, if you've read it. Idk if your comfortable w these sorts of asks, what with the backlash you got on your last sort of review ;-; but I've never read it before and I trust your sort of opinion so if you have read it and are comfortable with this.. pls tell me what you think of it !!!

Hello, anon! Worry not, if there’s one thing that really doesn’t do anything for me, it’s anon hate. So, even if someone decides to not like my opinion, I’ll deal, lol. As for Guidestuck, I’ve given it a go - and, much to my surprise, I have to say that I’ve seen it before; right when I had joined Homestuck fandom, guidestuck was pretty popular (only I didn’t know where it was coming from).

Now, let’s get one thing clear - Guidestuck is pretty old. It was started in 2012 and lasted to July of 2014, when it was updated one last time. This means it was done well before Cherubs were introduced and thus, it’s pretty innocent and different with approach of the subject it tackled. As the title suggests, it’s about humanized version of guides from Homestuck, who decide to play SBURB, while the human kids we know from it, have form of animals. Cute?

Definitely cute.

I have to admit, if there is one thing I really have enjoyed in Guidestuck, it was artstyle and designs of basically everyone, be it kids, humanized guides or their guardians.

Who, by the way, not only look adorable, but also make me think I’m missing something. Is Jaspers’ dad a human version of Maplehoof?

Who cares, he loves his kid.

And this, by the way, is something I’ve been missing in Homestuck all along; despite having what seemed to be caring guardians and defiant kids (which was all done cause age gap, generation gap, etc.), guardians really show they care for their kids.

Which actually gives such panel a powerful meaning - to an extent more powerful than the one John and Dad had.

This extends to most of the relationships that are developed (cause sadly, most of them aren’t). I have to admit, Quinn’s design and personality is my favourite of all, because she does look and dress and act like a goofy harlequin girl. Also, little John plush toy? 

Adorable. Sort of expected it to end up in a kernelsprite just to lulz at how in original story John was the ony kid who never ended up in one, but sadly, story never goes as far to even entertain the possibility.

Relatable.

Also, nice design of shoes, 10/10.

Now, what the story is trying to do mostly before the SBURB becomes the central plot point, it’s trying to hide from the reader that one of the kids is basically a humanized version of Lil Cal (which, btw, gave me mixed feelings, cause Dave’s guide was a crow and it ended up unmentioned at all). Given this is way before author or anyone ever could suspect what Lil Cal ever was (aside from being a creepy puppetdoll), I found it hilarious how actually close to Caliborn Lil Cal was character-wise. 

Anime filled room with manga posters? Check. 

Treating Dave and Bro puppets like characters from Homosuck? Check.

Imagination nation? Check.

Check.

Check???

I don’t think we need to say more.

Also, we have something that’s surely not intentional, as we didn’t know Calliope by the moment this dialogue was introduced - Lil Cal being called “Callie” (can I say lol?).

I just really like these panels, okay.

But yeah, aside from that, the dialog between Lil Cal and Quinn is providing the most uncomfortable info I’ve never thought I’ll read in a comic, original or fan-made.

Um.

Uhhhhhh, you know how weird it sounds???

And speaking of uncomfortable… let’s talk about the aliens.

You know, the lusi.

While I don’t wanna spoil too much (there’s not that much to spoil anyway, since the lusi are not that developed anyway), they have a really neat design themselves,

and pretty distinct (at least from what little we’ve seen) personalities. I find it kind of adorable that they mention taking care of trolls and it’s shown in pictures that the said trolls actually look pretty huge in comparison,

even the ones that shouldn’t - which, I suppose, is made by swapping the sizes between trolls and lusi.

They also act pretty troll-like (and by that I mean trolls you could’ve known or heard from legends). Sadly, there are downsides to this story that are not only capturing uncomfortable dialogue and unfinished story (cause it’s way unfinished in the three years ago - pretty early too, only one kid has managed to enter the medium - by which I assume it’s abandoned by the author for good), but also such things as missing pictures (probably thanks to servers getting deleted)

and dialogue that falls apart at times.

Which really is a shame, cause even if the story is not superb and the greatest thing I’ve ever seen, it’s far from being bad and while I have suspicion that some of the story parts might sound pushing (Goatdad as a Mind player? Aurthour as a Hope player?), we didn’t really get to see where it was going to lead and what was going to eventually happen. I say it’s a nice read, but it simply loses on being unfinished, 3 stars out of 5 for effort anyway.

bihexualwitch  asked:

Hey, I happened upon your blog and saw that you believe that Sherlock is trans. How come? This is the first head cannon I've heard of this and I'm truly curious about your answer. What's your thought process? Thanks!

WOW BOY okay this is my first time actually being asked this question so here we fucking go!?!??! (edit upon actually having typed this all out: HOLY FUCK; read more:)

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[It’s the evening after Valentine’s Day. Luke, Thalia and Annabeth, having discovered that stores always buy more Valentine’s candy then they actually sell, have spent the day fishing several hundred dollars worth of merchandise out of dumpsters and are now enjoying the fruits of their labor in a safehouse.]

Thalia(Making a face): Bleah. If I ever see another pink thing again, I think I’ll barf.

Luke(Halfheartedly picking at a box of heart shaped cookies): Agreed.

[Thalia glances at Luke. He doesn’t notice, staring distractedly into space.]

Thalia(Quietly): Hey, are you okay?

Luke(Startled): Hm? 

Thalia: You’ve been acting off since yesterday. I didn’t want to say anything in front of ‘Beth, but if you’re feeling sick-

Luke(Waving a hand dismissively): Nah, I’m fine, don’t worry. Really. I’m-

[He catches Thalia’s eye and wilts slightly]

Luke(Sighing): Its just… I guess it’s Valentine’s Day. Everywhere you look, all this pink and red crap, hearts and flowers and garbage about undying love, and… well, it’s hard to take all that seriously when you know that best case scenario, it eventually turns into divorce. Worst case scenario…

[He and Thalia look at each other, then at Annabeth who is building a small house from empty chocolate boxes between yawns.]

Luke(Softly): We’ve all seen worst case scenario.

Thalia(Chewing her lip meditatively): …I get that. I mean, we LIVED worst case scenario. I never want to end up putting a kid through that just because somebody and I… just because of my bad decisions. But Luke, you have to remember that our parents are freaks.

[There is a rumble of thunder outside. Thalia ignores it.]

Thalia: What happened to me happened because my mother didn’t know how take care of herself, let alone another human being. And in a way, it also happened because my dad didn’t know how to take responsibility for anything- let alone another human being. Neither of them should have ever had kids, and they should never have had them with each other. But when and if I decide to get married, if I decide to have kids, that isn’t going to happen to them, because I am nothing like my parents, Luke. And I promise you, you are nothing like yours.

Luke(After a moment of silence): I don’t think you know how badly I needed to hear that.

Thalia(Shrugging, with a wry smile): Don’t mention it.

[Annabeth has given up on her house and is asleep on the floor. Thalia picks her up, wiping chocolate from her face]

Thalia(Lightly): Besides, I’m sure there are plenty of people who manage to get married and stay happy. You can’t even get married for years, anyway. Why worry about it now?

Luke(Glancing at her): I guess so. You ever wonder if we’ll get married?

Thalia(With a startled laugh, flushing slightly): What, to each other? Good grief. What’s with you? Has all the Valentine’s candy poisoned you with love?

Luke(Waggling his eyebrows and grinning as she laughs again): Maybe.

[Thalia rolls her eyes and walks away, still smiling, to put Annabeth to bed. Luke watches them go]

Luke(Smiling slightly): Maybe…

[SLBP] Tokugawa Ieyasu Appreciation Post

In honor of Ieyasu’s birthday on January 31, I decided to make a list of the things I love about him and why I love him. Can you see I’m Yasu trash? Details and some spoilers below the cut!

Tagging: @oh-my-otome @cottonballwithmustache @shioune @suzunesays @akanojikan @irina291992 @karinelovex3 @sakuracream910 @nijigendiaries @amigoingbananas @shigetsugu @quincette

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I Need a Hero

Shance week Day 4 - AU Day (also encompassing Day 1 - Pining/Confession, Day 2 - Hero/Villain, Day 3 - Confidence/Insecurity). Garrison freshman Shiro has it bad for senior Lance. AO3

Prompt thanks entirely to @ghostering/leporicide - commission them, it’ll be worth it! - then please have a moment of silence for me for being daft enough to try to incorporate all the prompts so far in one go.


Shiro had wanted him when he was nobody - a nobody who didn’t know his place, a cargo pilot who walked like he was fighter class and talked like a playboy despite leaving a trail of eyerolling irritation in his wake. At first, Shiro had seen what others had seen, had written Lance off as the tryhard senior everyone else saw, but all it had taken was one glimpse of Lance on the other side of a crowded room, alone against a wall with all the acceptance of one resigned to his solitude, and Shiro had fallen for him so fast he’d actually felt his stomach lurch. Lance’s face had been slack with sadness, usually-wide mouth small. In that one moment he’d seemed so quiet, so soft and fuck, Shiro wanted to destroy him.

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anonymous asked:

I guess I'll be your first request? I've been asking around random profiles and wanted to find out if you'd take my reaction. How about RFA + Saeran & V reacting to meeting MC and finding out she has kids?

I’m super happy to have my first request! I don’t know much about tumblr so far, but I’m getting there. Being a newbie sucks. Sorry for any mistakes?

Yoosung

  • Very surprised
  • Like, really really surprised
  • Why didn’t MC mention it before?
  • He’s not mad though, he’s secretly wanted kids
  • He’d be way paranoid they wouldn’t like him, and that MC would break up with him
  • But, the kids love him, since he’s so childish 
  • Now all of your kids are addicted to LOLOL
  • Why aren’t any of them coming to the table for dinner when you call?
  • Oh, right. Fucking LOLOL
  • Shouldn’t your kids be studying?
  • Shouldn’t he be studying??
  • Yoosung loves reading them bedtime stories
  • Endless laughing and gamer battles between all of you
  • Yoosung and your kids are all begging to stay up later for one more round
  • Do your kids like him more than you??


Zen

  • Of course, he was dramatically shocked to see a bunch of tiny mini-yous pop up behind you when you answer the door
  • Children?
  • Despite the surprise, he adores them
  • They’re just so cute. Like MC.
  • He’s immediately Papa Bear after they get used to him
  • He’s ready to protect your offspring like his own
  • Your children acTUALLY SLEEP WITHOUT A FIGHT WHAT
  • It’s because of his lullabies. Of course.
  • Whenever they have nightmares, he’s that type of dad who pretends to check for monsters just so the children feel safe
  • He’s a super help with caring for them
  • Calls them his “munchkins”


Jumin

  • The first time he got to the apartment to see you, he just kinda froze when he saw kids running around all hyperactive
  • Childs?
  • Why wasn’t this mentioned before?
  • No, he’s not angry, just shocked
  • He NEVER pictured himself with a woman, never mind with childs
  • Children? They’re called children? Not childs?
  • Your kids are very interested in his height
  • When they try to climb on him, he just awkwardly stares, not really knowing how to interact with them, but he secretly adores the admiration
  • After he has time to adjust, you catch him smiling at them when they nap
  • And then he smiles even more frequently with them
  • They aren’t his kids, but he sure thinks they should be
  • He’s so happy to be back with you all after business trips
  • He brings back toys and everything from wherever he was


Jaehee

  • What? Kids? You have time for kids?
  • She’s super formal with them, and confused when they aren’t formal back
  • I mean they’re kids, they don’t shake hands
  • They just marvel at how she looks like lawyers on TV
  • They honestly think she’s the smartest person ever, and ask her a million questions
  • Jaehee happily answers all their questions, but what kind of questions are these?
  • As soon as they all settle in, Jaehee becomes more relaxed and understanding with them
  • She never really experienced being around kids, but she gets it now
  • Super motherly
  • Helps with homework, of course
  • Always lets them steal her glasses. Always.
  • Jaehee will always pause her work to just hang out with the cuties


707

  • He already knew you had kids 
  • Background check. Duh.
  • He was already excited to meet him
  • They immediately love him
  • He’s just so goofy, and funny, and all around childish
  • Piggy back rides everywhere
  • He’s their personal jungle gym, and loves it
  • You can always hear them giggling and playing with Nerf guns
  • Seven will let them shoot him, of course
  • And then he cripples to the ground when they shoot him, and lets them jump all over his “dead” body
  • They all join forces and play pranks on you all the goddamn time
  • Whenever the kids won’t listen to you, he always manipulates them with a childish way
  • When they are afraid of  the “monsters”, he will legit bring a spray bottle of “holy water” into their rooms at any time of night, and pretend to spray monsters, probably shouting something like “GOD SEVEN TO THE RESCUE!”

V

  • He, like Seven, would know you have kids already
  • The sweet soul would smile calmly at them, even if they’re rowdy as fuck
  • He would be so good with kids, man
  • V would cuddle them and you at any given point 
  • Cuddles 100% of the time
  • The kids would try to ambush him with Nerf guns and tackles, and he’d just start laughing, calmly. As always.
  • Bless his gentle soul
  • He wasn’t too rambunctious with playtime, but was always able to lull them to sleep
  • Hell, he’d fall asleep right with them
  • So many photo albums. One for each individual child, and one for all of them altogether
  • He would volunteer to come to the school and take the pictures on picture day for them
  • Always photographing those life moments


Saeran

  • Honestly, he wouldn’t know what the hell to do
  • He didn’t expect children
  • Never mind loud, touchy-feely children
  • At first, whenever they’d attack them, he would scold them and scare the shit out of the little ones
  • But, after he got more comfortable, and he understood them more, he would smile, just a little bit
  • He would be confused as to why they weren’t scared of him
  • Wasn’t he frightening?
  • Seriously, he would just stare in amazement how the spunky kids would greet him with hugs, even after he’d accidentally lashed out the previous day
  • And they loved his tattoo
  • Which surprised him, since it was the sign of a fucking cult
  • He loved answering their questions about his punk look
  • He loved how admired he was by them
  • He always walked them to school, and made any tiny bullies piss their pants
  • Ultimate Daddy Bear