i'm-upset-at-myself-for-this

it honestly sucks hating your body for so long and wanting to change but you know no matter what you do you will stay sad and insecure and upset about yourself. and then angry because you know you shouldn’t give a fuck but you have to care because that’s all you’ve been taught to do.

And I’m like soooo upset I hate my family istg 🙄🙄🙄

anonymous asked:

I'm in SemiShira hell 🙃 please feed me with headcanons about them :) if by any chance you already made one, just link them to me. But if you want to make new ones... 🙂 be my guest, mademoiselle.

ORDER UP!

  • semi was the one who confessed first, listing off basically everything he hated abt shirabu and then telling him he liked him at the end of it. shirabu’s reaction was smth along the lines of “that conclusion does not compute??? …i like you too tho”
  • their communication was all over the place at first like sometimes they would know exactly what the other wanted w/o words but then other times they had no idea what the other was saying half the time. reading each other had a success rate kinda like tendou’s blocking: 120% or 0% accuracy
  • sometimes their conversations made no sense, but over time they minded less and less
  • six months in and they’re still trying to one up each other by trying to plan the better date. movie night failed miserably. game night became a matter of life and death bc when it came to mario kart, neither of them came to have fun, they came to win. private volleyball practice didn’t seem like a date. dates involving food seemed to be the better ones. currently the unofficial score is 6 - 7 in semi’s favor
  • speaking of dates, semi had begrudgingly asked tendou’s help w/ his wardrobe issues for half of them
  • there was a point in their relationship where they tried serving into the other’s face during practice matches as much as possible. washijou wasn’t very happy abt it
  • one time, semi asked shirabu to help him study for exams and shirabu never let him live it down since bc “lol aren’t senpai supposed to help their kouhai w/ studies, not the other way around?”
  • reon and kawanishi suffer endlessly bc of boyfriends who love ranting abt how annoyingly endearing each other is
10

We’re Smiling But We’re Close To Tears

Jemma Simmons and Leopold Fitz have been working together ever since they graduated from the prestigious music school The Academy. They have conquered the world of classical music, but lately they haven’t been as in sync as everyone thinks.

“They find themselves unable to fully comprehend the other’s objective, to see the real reason behind the other’s actions, and to grasp the essence of the matter, causing them to clash against each other - angered, hurt and hopeless.”

First Movement [Adagio / Affettuoso]

anonymous asked:

I made the mistake of reading e*iza quotes from the con she's at today and now I'm annoyed lol it's like she's forgotten that there's a whole big fanbase of hers that doesn't ship cl. granted, the con she's at is basically a cl con but wouldn't it be great if she could talk about things that are about anything other than cl

Hey anon, I’m so sorry you’re annoyed!

I feel the general annoyance that all of the cons have been going over the same material we’ve been going over for ages. I LOVE the Eliza quote about s4 both because FINDING HOPE!!!!!!! and also thank god for new material. Fingers crossed SDCC is focused on the future and maybe undiscussed character details (I will bake cookies for anyone who asks Bob about his take on Bellamy’s sexuality and throw a godamn party if he says anything that can be taken as not straight).

As far as Eliza focusing on L/CL, idk, unpopular opinion but I’m not all that bothered by it beyond it’s not really my area of interest (and the above thing about getting the same info over and over). I respect that Eliza clearly knows how much that ship and that character meant to so many people and she’s trying to keep that love alive for them. If my fav were killed off and then never talked about again, that would hurt a lot. I do wish that she got to talk about Clarke as a character more as opposed to Clarke as a member of a ship but whatever.

Eliza’s going to talk about what’s been going on with her character and her CL was a huge part of her character arc this past season. Plus, like you said, it was basically marketed as a CL con so obvs she knows that’s the audience’s primary area of interest. Beyond that, she clearly loved portraying that relationship and working with ADC so like, yeah, she likes talking about it. I’m not going to get too upset about that. In general, when it comes to actors at cons, I pay attention to the stuff that interests me, ignore the stuff that doesn’t and take everything with a grain of salt.

To end on a high note, s4! FINDING HOPE!!!!!!!! I’M SO EXCITED. PLEASE LET THAT BE DISCUSSED MORE AT SDCC.

fall-and-shadows replied to your post “idk man like not every post is a Call to Battle i generally think we…”

This is one of the things I hate most about tumblr. We’re so used to being defensive and bad faith that we don’t see nuance or good faith here. Some of my worst conversations have been with feminists on here, but it’s like taboo to talk about or ask for some sympathy

yeah exactly. there are some really wonderful women on here who i’ve disagreed with and we’ve come out on the other side okay, but there’s also a lot of nastiness on here and it’s hard not to fall into that. i wish we could all be kinder and calmer. i wonder whether face-to-face discussion would be better, where we can read tone, facial cues, etc.

Play Pokemon GO!!

Real talk.
I’ve been sick for over 2 ½ years. I’m well enough I can leave the house on a semi regular basis, FINALLY
But most the times I’m too upset/depressed with myself to leave.
Getting out of bed most days was my grand accomplishment
But since playing Pokemon GO, I go out. Even if it’s to walk down the block to the pokestop. I get dressed, brush my teeth and hair, and go out
Today my sister and I went to the mall
EVERYONE we talked to was playing it or thinking about it.
We talked to SO MANY nice strangers! And my sister and I have some solid social anxiety, but it was so effortless cause everyone felt like a kid again!
Some told us how they’re meeting up in groups and making new friends
Some shared tips we definitely didn’t know on how to improve out gameplay!
I know some people aren’t in to pokemon (I’m a diehard original 151 fan and am guilty of not following newer ones) but it’s so fun! And is free! And will hopefully only get better!
Come out and play!!!

Hi, everyone.

I just wanted to say that I’ve been feeling very uncomfortable and nervous about this situation since yesterday. Whether Taylor lied to us or not, I just feel really bad seeing so many people against her. Also, I’m upset people didn’t give Kanye half the shit they’re giving Taylor for writing the lyrics in the first place. I’m trying to understand what happened because it doesn’t make sense to me that someone (anyone, really) would approve any of those lines to be said about them, but also I can’t sit here and pretend she didn’t say something she did say. Personally I think she probably was trying to play the game and act nice so Kanye wouldn’t be mean to her again, but I’m probably being super biased and finding excuses for her because I don’t want to see her as a “liar” or “snake” (not only because I feel bad for her, but also because it’s bad for my mental health to be disappointed by someone I love like this).

I’ve seen some text posts I agree with and I want to reblog them, but also I don’t want to upset anyone, so I don’t know what to do. I think internal fights in fandom are the most stressful thing on tumblr and the last thing I want is for us to fight among ourselves.

Legit, I’ve never felt more disappointed in myself in my life today. My mom always anted me to be in the Honor’s Society and now that I can, I feel I finally uplift her spirits after the struggles we had to deal the majority of our lives. It really sucks that most things in life ask for payment, which makes sense don’t get me wrong. I just wish is could be easier to deal with right now. $50 may not seem a lot to others but that is definitely a lot to me if it means achieving a goal my mom wanted for me since I graduated high school.

*loud ranting*

Because I’m basic, on mobile and need to get this out of my system.
Let’s see where to begin with this week, I guess I could start where i had an anxiety attack in the middle of work. That was embarrassing. I know why it happened, I’m working too much, I work 6 to 7 days a week, sometimes no off day for weeks, I work anywhere from 40-60 hours a week my eating habits are awful and I haven’t been sleeping, not to mention I haven’t been on medication since May and my bipolar ass is losing their mind. I was able to go home early but I have to make up that day so that means 4 weeks now with no off day. HOPEFULLY they let cut down my hours or take a leave of absence until school starts because I’m losing my fucking mind at this point with both of these jobs.
My other job is okay, but everyone in the group is really close and I’m fucking awkward and being around people that I work with so much makes me feel awkward, like I’m already weird enough and I feel shitty for always avoiding hanging out with them but I just, can’t. But my bosses birthday is next weekend and I gotta go, and everyone’s gonna be there and I’m gonna be uncomfortable af.
Then I have to take the bus home, so me, post anxiety attack, still feeling anxious and shaking have to be around people, I’m waiting for the bus only to get harassed by this car who decided to drive his car around the corner back and forth from where I was for about 15 minutes, speeding up his car and making it loud, I’m noise sensitive as it is and then at my most vulnerable, this guy thought it was funny to do this to me. Cool..
The next fucking day I work both jobs, had to make up hours at my first job and I’m canvassing the rest of the night, 12 hour day, it was rough, I had plans to hangout with people to play Pokémon and I wasn’t even gonna go because I don’t know them that well?? Also I’m tired and also I’m awkward and I’ve been weird wanting to be around people because I haven’t been on medication and I feel like I’m not in control of myself as much as I’d like to be and I don’t want to embarrass myself, yet again. But I’m like, I wanna have fun so I’m gonna go. I finish this long as day and go to meet them, plans change, Idk what to do because I don’t drive, but I wait. I wait and wait in the spot I was supposed to meet everyone and it gets late. They decide they’re tired and decide to not hangout and go home, which, is cool but now my paranoia of hey Rue you’re a loser no one wants to be around you hahaha is through the roof, and since I waited for about an hour or so, I missed the last bus going to my house and walking from the other side of town at 11ish at night is totally not scary. So my loser self cried all the way home like a weeny because I’m sensitive af and was still recovering yesterday and I was just vulnerable. I got to hatch an egg from playing Pokémon so, that was cool.
THEN YESTERDAY, I work, of course. Trying to take my mind off of everything to do my job, secret service is on campus where I’m working, I fucked up some of the forms, and I’m still screaming about it because I should have been more thorough but I was just trying to make sure I had high numbers. This job isn’t hard but when you have dyslexia, it really is. I’m filling out forms, in ink, trying to mentally convert numbers and letters while filling these out and having a conversation with the people were trying to register to vote. It’s not hard but yesterday was hell. I was so fucking tired, I had bags under my eyes from being out so late and I’ve been emotionally defeated and I felt like shit since I messed up. But it was the last day of us canvassing so we went out to eat, which is awesome because I have no money because I just took out money to pay rent and have about .12 cents in my account. Oh so we get downtown and a festival is happening and my anxiety shoots up and then my coworker puts me on the spot like, oh hey what are you getting to eat and I’m like I’m not hungry and they’re like, oh do you not have any money, I can buy you something, which I’m thinking like, THANKYOU FOR SAYING THAT IN FRONT OF HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE. ME A POC IS SO GRATEFUL YOU NOT A POC HAVE MONEY TO BUY ME FOOD. Which, she was totally being nice but I was annoyed, embarrassed and my pride shattered so u was like no ty I’m fine, and then everyone put in money and pressured me into eating which I didn’t want to, but did because I was already embarrassed af and anxious and just wanted it to stop. That was fun. And fucking draining, that day was so draining, fuck.
So
Then there’s today.
Here I am getting up at 9 in the morning to catch my bus at 11.i felt shitty but it was okay, because I had rent money in my pocket and I was gonna pay my rent today and everything was gonna be okay, at least for a moment. Then. Something told me to check my envelope. And behold, I’m short 5 bucks. Which, may not seem like a lot, but it is when you have less than a quarter to your name and that your rent and bill money. I’m gonna see if I can borrow money from a friend or count my pennies before the day is over but I also work an 8 hour shift today soooooo. I’m hoping when I go in, they’ll let me cut my hours or take a leave of absence but they’ll probably yell at me. At this point I’m just wanting to get through this day without another attack because I feel so out of control and that I’m falling part and it’s scary and I hate this. I’ve been working so much u haven’t had time to get reevaluated for meds and I’m a mess. If I were back on my bipolar and anxiety medication I’d be doing so good. I hate this I’m just over this week. I just want to go to bed.