i'm-telling-u-rn

freihet asked:

11, 22, 23!

11. Favorite time of day
Uhh, nighttime, I guess? Where I enjoy just being alone in my room with my phone/laptop, listening to music while drawing/reading/doing stuffs. But I guess I like the day too, where I usually hang out with friends. I don’t know. I love both!! (I love the whole day as long as I don’t get into trouble and there aren’t any difficult tests wwww)

22. When was the last time someone told you they loved you
Yesterday, maybe? I remember my mom saying it. Well she says it almost everyday so… But aside from my mom, I guess it was on my birthday just a month ago!! :3

23. Who is your best friend and how did you meet
First of all, I have quite a lot of best friends… (including you, dude) …so yeah, LET’S TALK ABOUT HOW WE MET HEHEEE
I remembered it was around grade 4, wasn’t it? It was a new year. We were on the same class and it was P.E, I didn’t have a partner (my best friends that time weren’t in our class sobs) and I approached you seeing you’re also somehow alone… and we started talking. Or something like that happened lol. (I wasn’t that sociable back then omg I’m like super shy) (And I’m not sociable either right now I’m like super ignorant)

Okay can someone with a Mac help me out here?

My Mac overheats like a lot. Right now it’s sitting on my desk (a flat surface obviously) and the bit directly above the keyboard is super hot, and I can hear the fan running pretty seriously. Is this normal? I’m pretty sure it’s been doing this since I first got it, but it makes me nervous!

it will be so fucking nice to have someone who finally understands the 100% real me, not just bits and pieces. the real me who has to always be kept hidden because a majority of people are so ignorant or hateful or who have some disrespectful comeback for what i explain to them.

Ok so I did all the maths

based on my marks from last year and assessments I’ve already done (lit coursework and drama practical) for like all of my subjects, if I wanna get Bs overall then I only have to get Es in the upcoming exams

which is great for taking the pressure off but if I want to push harder and get As, it suddenly jumps the fuck up, like I’d need As and Bs this year to get As overall instead

and it’s actually kind of demoralising tbh, bc there’s such a huge gap in the grades and how they’ll make a difference to my overall a level scores that it doesn’t seem worth bothering?? Like why work my ass off to get a B this year if in that subject I’m probably gonna get the same grade overall as if I hardly bothered and only got an E?

so now my motivation has basically hit rock bottom, and I could decide that I don’t give a shit about this exams based on how well I did at AS

but I know that when I go into the exam I will feel absolutely awful, honestly. I’m so used to having the capability to go into exams feeling as prepared as i can bc I’ve never taken exams with an anxiety disorder before. so it feels like for my actual exams I’m going to have the worst week of my life and hate myself for not working harder and preparing better bc my mental illness is not a rational thing

so I can not do the work and hate myself or I could carry on with it, putting myself in such a position that my mum is so worried about my stress levels that she’s already decided to enquire about getting me an exemption from my exams, even though it’s so ridiculously unlikely to happen it’s hardly worth bothering, and even if I could be exempted from them and just got my predicted grades, I’d pretty much hate myself anyway. everyone goes through the stress of a levels, I don’t wanna be the kid who can’t cope w their a levels AGAIN. I just wanna go back to being able to do the fucking work and actually getting the grades I deserve and being stressed but ok, rather than just fucking hating myself over it all the time